Snake-ass-cheeks420 - Macarena

Beedle & Goodfellow

Goodfellow is a warforged barbarian dnd character I want to use if I ever get to play someday. Figured I'd draw his backstory even if I never do 😊

i wanna talk about this shot

Re: dramatically changing 19th century dress silhouettes, thinkin about the time a whaler finally came home from a 4 year voyage and was just like ‘WHAT IS GOING ON’ when reencountering hoop skirts.

new heresy that makes the bible way funnier:

god genuinely had no idea that people would be able to disobey him, when he made them. angels couldn’t! everything in the universe was just an extension or a reflection of god himself, operating in perfect mechanical order. then he put a spark of his own creative consciousness in an animal and it turned out it could disobey him.

like, that’s why he told adam and eve not to access a perfectly accessible tree. nothing else in the universe up until that point would have done something he told them not to.

that’s why he asks cain a perfectly ridiculous question, given that he would have watched the murder happen right in front of him: where is your brother? what did you do to him? he didn’t know cain could lie. even when adam and eve disobeyed him, surprising absolutely everyone involved, they hadn’t figured out lying yet. cain figured out lying.

that’s why god decides to destroy humans and start over only a few centuries later. he has no idea what to do. not only are people disobeying and lying to him, they’ve started completely ignoring him, too. he can control the wind, the water, the plants, the animals, the angels, the heavens, the earth. but he cut a part of himself loose and gave it to this totally unique new critter and now he can’t get it back. he can’t make anyone do anything, and now they know it. he had to carve humanity back down to the one family that actually, for whatever reason, still listened to him, and he had to ride them pretty fucking hard from that point onward to make sure they didn’t just….. stop. because at any point basically any human, ever, even the ones who liked him, could just randomly decide to fuck off and do their own thing.

then like, according to christians, god thought maybe he could get a handle on whatever the fuck was going on with how bad humans were being by making another human who had even more god in him than all the other humans, and that didn’t work either. and also even jesus himself didn’t know what humans were going to do next, which was kill him young. like, god had to break the news to him based on an educated guess, and it was a big surprise to him! he was really upset! there’s a whole scene!

like, i think this is hands down the funniest fucking thing to conclude about god ever. he didn’t know it was going to turn out like this when he started and he didn’t know what to do when it did. he’s been basically scrambling to stay on top of the situation for six thousand years and he’s totally beefed it repeatedly.

god the omnipotent lord of creation knows everything, except what you’re going to do next. god the supreme ruler of the universe can do anything, except stop you. you have a little piece of god inside you and it lets you defy the most fundamental machinery of existence basically whenever you like.

if that’s not funny, i don’t know what is.

Just ate an entire pear that was so good and so juicy i started gnawing on it with both hands like an animal and the face my supervisor made when he passed by my desk while I was absolutely consumed by my pear fueled bacchanal was Something i have never seen someone look so tired and also so upset and also also so envious

before you see something and recoil at the price, be it handmade items, services, art, whatever. when you see something and you think, "i wouldnt pay more than $15 for that," you seriously have to ask yourself: if i were offered that same $15, would i make this object? would i spend the time to teach myself this skill to get this done, for $15? would i do this service for that same $15? would that be worth my time and effort?

yeah, that handmade necklace is $140. you might only be willing to pay $40 for that same necklace, but would you make it for $40 if someone asked you to?

you want to pay the babysitter fifteen bucks for the three hours she's watching your child. but would you honestly do that for $15? would you go into a stranger's house and change their baby's diaper and care for its needs, for $15?

you think its ridiculous that this artist is charging $30 for an icon commission. would you spend years catching up to their skill level to make that same drawing, start using your skill to make some extra cash, and then spend three hours on a drawing just to get $15?

would you be willing to work for $5 an hour?

no?

then don't be angry when someone else won't.

you don't have buy the service, it's okay if some things aren't within your budget or comfort zone, and it's also okay if the product isn't worth that much money to you. but do not be angry. be glad, because you know of another person out there who isn't being exploited for their time.