I Love How Putting On The Smallest Amount Of Moisturiser Was More Self Care Than I Did Combined In The

After a whole evening of failing on Warhammer 40k Darktide, tonight's healthy dinner wasss Chicken Parmesan, baby potatoes and oven cooked asparagus.

It's really funny to me how this really well cooked & healthy meal is now my cheat meal.

I'm so happy I came out as Trans, life has been fantastic since! I literally flapped my hands for the first time in my adult life as an autistic person.. unlearning the filters that society has placed on me is healthy.

Story time:

When I was in college I was the only one in the dorm with a car which made me VERY popular, but more importantly because I was so fucking down bad for my next door neighbor, I volunteered to drive her to church [literal actual baptist church my jewish ass had balls of fucking steel to walk into that bitch every week drooling after a hot femme lordt]

This went normal and fine for about three weeks until one time her roommate had a dude over and she was like "can I stay in your room tonight so I actually get some sleep before church 🥺?"

So I let her stay in my bed and well. Folks. She didn't sleep. But we DID play "how many orgasms does it take to make you pass out?" And it turns out the answer was 15 sometime around 3am the next morning. We obvi wake up RUSHINGGGGGGG to church the next morning, and when we arrive looking frazzled, the pastor looks her up and down and asks how she's doing and is she having a tough time with finals? And she just goes "no, I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night, we were studying." And the pastor goes "oh yeah, what are you studying for?"

And without missing a beat my dyke ass says "Bible Study."

If looks could kill, I think she would have ended me on the spot, but four hours later she was calling me god in the backseat of my car while I ate her out sooooooooo pretty sure the moral to this story is that pre-marital lesbian sex is fine as long as you can emotionally scar an old man in the process.

let's have fruit with mama

let’s play in the eelgrass with mama

The seal of confession for "I cheated on my wife and have a second family" is understandable.

That f*ckin take on protect child abusers is hilarious though, you really do have to be delusional to even consider that.

in case anyone was forgetting what the church was all about

lets be consoled by mama

Listen, just because she didn't originally express any desire to be a girl or transition before I got to her doesn't mean her happiness isn't genuine okay? Look how happy she is. Yeah sure maybe I slipped that estrogen in her food without her consent and yeah sure I did make her listen to subliminal files that would rearrange her pliable little mind, but right now she's having her time of her life and it's not right for you to intefere. Look at her, giddy at trying out her new dress in front of her mirror (a dress that I paid for by the way, so really she should be grateful).

What's that? You tried to talk to her to get her opinion and she just meowed instead? Yeah that's how she is now. Something to do with the files I made her listen to. When I downloaded a file called catgirlificaiton.mp3 (sic) I thought the catgirl part was like, symbolic. Like, she would be into wearing cat ears and collars and stuff. Turns out she has forgotten human speech. Hey, hey! Give me a break okay? I'm doing my best here!

with the new pope being elected just a reminder you can’t make fun of trans people choosing their names because you literally just get to choose a pope name

Mommy has been making me the most delicious food for a long time 😍♥️ If you had told me 3 weeks ago I'd be excited at work about fish and rice, I'd have told you that I hadn't transitioned yet and was still a miserable fuck.

I've been losing weight with her help and so far I'm down 14 pounds or 1 stone, I'm now at 19 stone or 120kg!

Soon I'm gonna be even smaller, doing it for her 💖♥️