I Adore All Of These So Much

This started out as a silly cute JereJean idea I had at work and now I fear it needs a trigger warning 😀 (also I had to rewrite it like 12 times because I kept forgetting to save the draft and closing tumblr)

//TGR SPOLIERS//

//TW: hints of sexual abuse//

ITS WHOLESOME I PROMISE 😭😭

Its the middle of night, Jeremy hasn't been able to sleep, at peace simply staring at the ceiling listening to Jeans breathing. Until eventually his breathing gets faster, more aggravatied and quiet shuffles occasionally fill the air. Jean's having another nightmare. Jeremy debates waking him up, but doesn't get the chance before he startles himself awake. Jean sits up, looking over at him for a brief moment then waves him off as he makes his way to the kitchen. Jeremys not sure if its dismissial for him to go back to sleep or for him not to ask about his dream, not that he ever does. Jeremy debates if he wants to follow and before he makes a conscious decision, hes kicking the blankets off. Jean says nothing as he fills a glass with water, watching in a half asleep daze as jeremy leans against the counter.

"Why are you up?" Its not anger or concern, simple curiosity as to why Jeremy followed him. He shrugs in response.

"Cant sleep." He mumbles. Jean only hums in return. Maybe its how deliriously tired he is or maybe its the way he can feel Jeans body heat despite the foot and a half of distance between them, Jeremy can't help, but smile. When Jean quirks an eyebrow at him, its impossible to suppress the giggle. Attempting to force it away, he clears his throat, waving a hand aimlessly.

"Sorry sorry. I'm tired. I don't know." Hes giggling again before he even finishs his sentence.

"Then sleep." Jeans voice isn't demanding, its light and calm, a suggestion. Jeremy shrugs again, watching Jean sip his water.

"I"m content here." He gives a calm smile, closing his eyes for a moment while drawing in a deep breath, he goes into a giggling fit upon the exhale and had to look down to calm himself. "Sorry, sorry, you're just...amusing." he gives a content hum, trying to straighten himself and not explaining his train of thought.

"I didn't do anything." Jean rolls his eyes, but has to shove away the warm fondness that laugh is bringing him. He sips his water for a distraction.

"You don't have to, being here is enough." Jeremy settles himself, if only just and Jean now feels like he's the one unabke to catch his breath. The kitchen is dark, the street light from the curtainless windows being their only light as the world sleeps. The girls blissfully in a slumber in the room over and the house quiet, it seems like they are the only two to exisit in this moment.

Maybe Jean is just as tired as Jeremy because he doesn't recall making the decision to move, maybe its the alluring gravity of Jeremys laugh, or the way he can see the cold prickling at his arms, but he steps closer, reaching around him to set the glass down on the counter. Jeremy reaches back behind him, holding the counter on either side as Jean all but closes their distance. His smile is still there, soft and sleepy. Jean knows he should look away, ignore the bedhead and the way the street lamp glows softly on his skin, but he can't. In a moment of untter out of control impulse, he leans forward, stopping at the last second. His lips a breath away from Jeremys. He can feel him go still, the tension in his muscles, but he doesn't move, doesn't tell him to stop, but he can't take that last irreversible step. The panic rises in him and as he contemplates walking away, "Jean..." Jeremy's breath on his lips nearly makes his knees give out and the gentle tone he speaks in is so clearly a question.

"Can I?" he says without thinking. Jeremys 'yeah' was felt more than heard. Jean barely brushes their lips together in a single, soft kiss. He hesitates to pull away, wanting more. Jeremys fingers wraping into the front of Jeans shirt almost causes him to lean in instead. With his eyes still closed, Jeremy gives the slighest tug of Jean shirt, making him lose every ounce of composure he had. Jean knows he should stop, to not give into the burning hunger in his chest, yet all he can think of is Jeremy's lips on his, his hands in his shirt and his taste in his mouth. The last idea of stopping leaves his mind entirely when Jeremys tongue touches his bottom lip, Jean has him in the counter in seconds, a startling yelp and muffled giggles break the kiss for only a moment, with Jean now inbetween his legs with his hands on his hips, he feels like he could be lost in this forever. That is until Jeremy puts both hands on his chest, slightly pushing him away. His confusion is only answered by Jeremy looking down at Jeans hands, his smile fading into a concerned look, its only then that he realizes he's trembling.

"We can stop." Jeremys voice is still kept a whisper, quieter now that they are so close. The anger in Jeans stomach is almost enough to over take the want, almost. Jeremy must have seen it because he pulls his hands away, opening his mouth, but before he can apologize Jean cuts him off.

"Its not you. I'm not mad at you. I want..this." he hesitates, the hoensty not forthcoming. "but I don't know how to have it." Jeans words are inconsistent and unsure. Jeremy waits, patiently staring at him, almost at his height now that he's on the counter. Jean fights to find the words, tensing and untensing his jaw. When he is slient for several mintues, only then does Jeremy speak.

"If this is too much, that's okay. We will never do anything you don't want to." Jeremy slowly leans forward, pressing their foreheads together.

"This isn't enough." Jean's voice is strained as he pushes against Jeremy, letting a little of his frustrations out via the affection. He doesn't miss the way Jeremys face flushes red, but he also takes note of how he tries to ignore it, to keep Jeans attention here. "But I can't. Not when-" his voice fails at the thought of calloused hands gripping his hair. He can still feel Jeremys kiss on his lips, but its a harsher one that he remembers, more forceful and unrepentant. His scalp tearing, fingernails digging into his wrists, and yelling and teeth- Jean squeezes his eyes closed, gripping tighter at Jeremys waist. He doesn't want to think of any of that when Jeremy is in his arms, when his kiss tasts like coffee and chocolate, the smell of a fresh shower and clean sheets. He is not them.

"It is okay to need time, Jean. I'm not going anywhere. And if you want to do those things, okay. But I won't do them if you're not okay." Jeremys hands are soft on his cheeks, a ghost of a touch as he craddles his face. "I don't want to hurt you." If Jean were any further, he wouldn't have heard him, the words barely a breath in his face. Those words, he's saying them to himself. Jean can feel the fire in his chest churning and it feels like hes burning alive with hunger, but for once, he isn't afraid. Jean pulls his head away, only for a moment as he lowers to Jeremys shoulder, trailing his hands up his waist to his torso in a gentle squeeze. Jeremy doesn't hesitate to hug him back, fingers curling into his hair and ankles tucking around his knees. Jean jumps a bit when Jeremy buries his face into Jeans neck, but he settles in quickly, all of the tension leaving his body as Jeremy tuns soft fingers along his shoulder blades.

Hugs. Jean thinks. A cool evening breeze. Rainbows. Open roads. Friends. Fireworks. Fathers. Hugs.

I am not over this. Aiden and Taylor were so ready to kill a man. Like yeah Ben ran at him too, but he wasnt so controlled by anger to not think. That is the face of a person ready to murder a human being no second thoughts. I love it and hate it. Like yes protect your girl but also the trauma you have to go through to get to this point 😭

Fast pass spoiler aidelyn

God he was SO mad

like: RGRRHR GET THE F*CK AWAY FROM HER 👹👹👹

HE'S LIKE AN ANGRY CAT WITH RABIES

AND I WILL DRAW THIS 👹👹👹👹

Ok I just made myself so sad. I'm sitting here listening to The Devil Wears Prada : Louder Than Thunder and I imagined Aiden laying in bed screaming this song into an empty house.

"Are we meant to be empty handed, I know I could, I could be better, I dont think I deserve it"

This kid probably so desperately wanted a house full of a family being obnoxious and annoying over all the things he dealt with in his head.

If he truly was s**cidal than I feel like he would have had a lot of those moments (I remember laying in bed crying to this song, maybe I'm just reflecting😅)

Thinking about Jean looking away. So its cannon that Jeans not great at hiding his emotions on his face so do you think that Jeremy starts to put the peices together. Everytime Jean gets embarrassed, 'hungry' or really just feels any emotion he doesnt know how to handle he looks away. Do you think his mouth twitches? Or maybe a bit of blush in his cheeks, his eyebrows knitting together. Grrr I want Jeremy to see Jean look away in a panic and to finally register as to why, to see that he made him feel something. Oh and what I would give to have him tease him about it like "oh my gosh, is your face actually red?" "Why you hiding?" GAH My Brain!

tgr spoilers!!!

they are everything to me oh my god

I dont care what anyone says, Jeremy Sumpter is my Neil Josten 😌

I have so many random ideas of Andreil being found out by the media in the strangest ways. My personal fav so far is them going pro and being on different teams. They end up playing against each other and everyone starts to think their rivals because Andrew keeps launching the ball at Neils helmet. After like 7 headshots from across the court Neil swears at him in german something along the lines of "I know you're doing that on purpose quit being a bitch for the sake of your entertainment or I swear I will empty your candy drawer" and of course Andrew's just there with his blank expression leaning on his racket, knowing Neil will forget all about it when they're home. However, all the fans see is Andrew targeting Neil over and over no matter where he is on the court so everyone thinks they hate each other until some weeks later an article is released with pictures of them grocery shopping together. Andrew is in the cart eating candy he hasn't even bought yet while Neil scans the aisle with a hand in Andrews hair. Another picture of them loading everything into the car, Andrew with a hand on Neils waist as he opens the backdoor. The article is titled something like "rivals or lovers : a deep dive into their history" and it brings up points like Andrew protecting Neil from Riko and Neil getting Andrew to shut down the goal with just a few words (ones no one knows), but also points of them shoving each other and getting in each others faces (tbh they were just flirting but from an outside prospective it was violence because they are never normal) all of the fan theories come to a head when Neil gets interviewed.

"What is your thoughts on the rumors about you and Minyard?"

"Rumors?"

"Yes, the ones about you two being teammates turned rivals turned lovers. Many fans are speculating what your relationship is and several articles have become very popular over it."

"We were never rivals??" Neil is absolutely lost at this idea, complete confusion.

"Really? Never once over the years?"

"No? And what articles? I don't understand how this has anything to do with Exy."

"Its about your career in the sense that Andrew Minyard has been a challenge for you." Neil smiles at the idea of Andrew being a challenge. "There was a really big article that shared some photos of you two together at a grocery store. It's rather unusal to see you two in a domestic setting, can you tell us about that? Many are wondering why you shop together." The first photo is pulled up on the big screen and Neil just stares for a moment, unsure of when it was taken.

"1. Its creepy that that was taken without us knowing. 2. I don't know what you want me to tell you, Andrew's not allowed out of the cart because he's a mence to shop with or maybe he refuses to let me go alone because I constantly forget things. Its just normal every day life, same as everyone else. 3. Because we live together?? I still don't see the relevance any this has to Exy. Many spouses go against each others teams, it's a part of being pro's."

"Spouses? So you are confirming you and Minyard are married?"

"Not on paper. Fundamentally yes. I thought this interview was supposed to be about how our season is going?" Neil sits back, baffled but also slightly smug from the look of shock on the interviewers face.

Meanwhile Andrew is at home with the cats eating a tub of ice cream while watching the interview thinking to himself 'yeah, fucking tell her. Noisy ass drama seeker.'

Andrew has been particularly bored this game, they are tied for the third time in a row, yet nothing interesting has happened in the first half of the game. Taking their small rest of halftime, Neil approaches him with a smile that tells Andrew hes plotting something.

"What." Andrew gives him a curious glare as he sits down on the bench beside him.

"Shut down the goal." Neil demands blankly.

"And why would I do that." Immediately pissed off by this, Andrew gets ready to walk off, but Neil says something that makes him reconsider.

"If you do, that little corner store on the way to the dorm. I'll buy you everything you can carry." Neil stares at him with a look that says he already knows the answer, even though Andrew hasnt said or done anything, so he walks away without changing that.

The game starts again and Andrew defends the goal as if its sacred. 32 shots made and not a single one passes him, nothing is going to come between him and his seemingly endless stash of sweets. The rest of the Foxes are greatfully astonished, having no idea why Andrew suddenly kicked it up three gears.

Neil does as agreed, following Andrew around the convinent store as he fills his hoodie pocket, then his pants pockets, the hood itself, over filling his arms and tucking things in every possible location until Neil is certain he will start dropping things.

"Okay, youve already broken rules. You have enough." Neil chuckle as him barely able to see his face buried under the mountain of candy and ice cream.

"And what rules do you think Ive broken rabbit?" Andrew tilts his head with an intrigued glare.

"You filled your pockets. Thats not holding it."

"You said carry. Its on my person and I am carrying it. Buy up."

Rolling his eyes, Neil waits as Andrew awkwardly shuffles a fourth bag of skittles into his sleeve.

After another few minutes of him picking out his remaining choices, they go to the counter, the cashier a young woman wraring an mixed expression of 'what the fuck' and impressed. Before Andrew can start dropping it all on the counter, the click of a camera goes off. Andrew turns to Neil, anger overtaking his face. Another click. Neil lowers his phone as he pulls out his wallet.

"Youre insufferable." Andrew drops whats in his arms and digs the rest out of his sleeves, pockets and hood.

"What percent am I at now?"

"110%"

"Thats not even mathematically possible." Neil grumbles, but he smiles still.

Once they are back to the dorm, neil saves the photo of Andrew looking pissed with 300$ worth of candy in his arms as his phones background.

Andrew changes it to a picture of his middle finger two days later.

Jeremy having a really hard day and only has like 30 mins to spare before he has to be home, but he really doesnt want to be there, so he goes and sits in the parking lot at the girls/Jeans apartment. Jean comes out to grab his helmet and sees Jeremy, sitting in his car with his eyes closed listening to music just barely keeping himself together. Jean walks up to the window, tapping at the glass, startling Jeremy. Rolling down the window, Jeremy turns down the music with an embarassed smile.

"What are you doing out here?" Jean asks, noticing how red Jeremys eyes are.

"Oh, I didnt have time to go in, but... its easier to be here right now. I knew Laila would want me to stay so," Jeremy shrugs, to which Jean just nods, walks around the car and opens the passanger door.

"What are you-?"

"Do what you were doing. I have this." Jean pulls a small box out of his pocket, making a loose motion to the radio. He says nothing else as he starts connecting the com system to his helmet. Jeremy just stares at him, a warm comfort in his chest, then turns the music back up, watching Jeans hands as they screw in the microphone. They sit like that until Jeremy has to leave, listening to music and enjoying each others company. Still not wanting to go home, Jeremy says he has to go and Jean stares at him for a moment, seeing the color back in Jeremys face, then gets out of the car, and Jeremy feels just a little better.

The song in my head for this is

And it softly plays out while they sit together, Jeremy never taking his eyes off of Jean.

throws up

I am in suffering. My phone is completely broken and you cant fast pass on PC, SBG my heart yearns for you :(

totally spoiled some of the most recent chapter but that's okay, I just pray they make it out of their situation and I get a happy moment when I can finally read it again