Mastery is what we hope to attain. We hope to get a point where we become master of our fields, experts of our work, and mentors to younger people. But the big question we ask ourselves is "what should I do?" "what can I do?" "what is my purpose in life?" and that is a very big question that we might spend our entire lives trying to figure out.
It is difficult now, especially when we hear people talk about their careers, we see updates on people's career changes on LinkedIn and everyone is vying for a job in big tech, big law, consulting, Wall Street and you feel left out, not good enough, in fact discouraged.
However, you can find fulfillment by taking this self-discovery one step at a time, at a pace that best suits your skills, and still rise to the top.
Here is how to find your Life's work:
Look back to your childhood
Often to figure out what you want to do or who you want to become you have to look back to your past, your childhood. What made you tick? What classes were most fun for you? Who did you enjoy watching or spending time with growing up? The answers can give you a peek into the kind of life you want. Growing up I enjoyed reading biographies of people. I was obsessed with how they became successful and how they set themselves apart - now my writing mirrors that.
2. Find your niche
The uncertainty or discomfort you feel could be caused by not fitting into one field. You feel like you can do a lot more than there is out there. This is a great feeling. if you feel this way do not be discouraged. It is your life's journey to figure out the intersection of your interest. It is a sign that you should try out multiple things. Your career may become an amalgamation of your interest, ideas, disciplines, and fields. Here are some intersections that I found in people I admire:
Design + Technology - Steve Jobs- Apple Co-founder, Brian Chesky - Airbnb Co-founder
Food + Technology - Apoorva Mehta; co-founder Instacart
Culture + Commerce - Most architects, designers fit this category
Science + Art - Trip Hawkins; founder of Electronic Arts
Community + technology - Whitney Wolfe Herd; Founder of Bumble
Food + business: Kaspar Basse; founder of Joe & The Juice
Sportsmanship + design - Phil Knight; co-founder of Nike
Environmentalism + Sportsmanship - Yvon Chouinard; founder of Patagonia
These people are at the top of their fields. You can start by having a double major, or minoring in a totally different field (Art + Finance, Biology + Sports management etc)
3. Resist the pressure of the majority
There is always a group of people on the other side of your interest and skills - parents, friends, professors, peers who want something different from what you aspire to. You love art but they remind you that the pay is meagre, you want be a lawyer but they tell you, you are not good enough for law. You see, the salary you get paid for doing something you love should not stop you from getting started. You will eventually become so good that the value you provide will eventually command a huge compensation but for now bend down and learn.
4. Find a mentor
Once you get a glimpse of what you feel like you want to do. Find a mentor, your mentor could be distant or imminent. A distant mentor could be a renowned expert, a person you stumble upon through a book, an interview etc. Their story inspires you and you somehow you feel seen, you goals aren't so impossible anymore. The imminent mentors are the people you meet through school, work and whose work has some skills you need to learn for your Life's work. Your relationship with them or experience with them is the closest to reality of your Life's Work. Learn as much as you can in this process.
Welcome to my A Guide to Mastery series inspired by the book Mastery.
Amen
Access to me is a privilege. A lost art. A pure pleasure. A wall to climb that leads to the best and most beautiful adventure of your lifetime if you’re willing to make it to the other side.
this post was inspired by this tiktok: here
okay first realise..realise you have the power to change ANYTHING. its never too late to change your reality. dont think that you’re too “old” and that its late for you. people are in their 40s, 50s, 60s trying to find themselves and their true identity and trying out new hobbies! this idea that life ends when you’re 30 or whatever is such bullshit. you have so much time to change anything you want and nothing is impossible. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.
once you realise that, you can conquer anything. your problems are so small compared to you, because you’re magnificent. in this time of age we do not stop to congratulate ourselves because we are always comparing ourselves to other peoples lives on social media, or our parents are comparing us to other peoples kids. take time to CONGRATULATE YOURSELF for atleast wanting to try doing better for yourself. thats already an achievement and a step closer to achieving your dream life. some of you guys have been through hell and back, yet you’re still here. just congratulate yourself on that, because thats amazing. really.
now..lets start a funeral.
write down or take mental note of all your “bad habits” than can include something simple as procrastinating or idk nail biting. GET RID OF THEM. DECLARE THIS NOW that you will stop doing those habits, these bad habits do not benefit you. now, its pretty easy to cling back onto these “bad habits” so dont even worry about it. if you do it again do not belittle yourself, do not beat yourself up about it omg. literally dont you’re still amazing and hey..maybe you won’t completely get rid of them so start minimising how much you do those so-called bad habits
secondly, the mental glow up
mental glowups are also important aswell as physical glowups. mental glowups really do wonders and can impact your physical appearance!
• don’t beat yourself up when you make a mistake.
i feel like its so normal for us to do this and i think if you were in a household that was not particularly great at emotional wellbeing you would struggle whenever you make mistake cus you would beat yourself up about it, its a tactic we’ve learned to do and its not a very good one.
• treat yourself with kindness.
how you treat a little child under your care, treat your mind and yourself as so. when you feel under pressure, when you feel caught up with everything. take it slow. and realise, you’re amazing and you can get through any obstacle.
• treat yourself like a QUEEN!
honestly, we should all start treating ourselves like the beautiful people we are?? like yeah i woke up messy hair and all but i am still beautiful. i am still shockingly pretty and i rock any hairdo.
• prioritise yourself. stop prioritising others.
now dont get me wrong, when the moment is right you can put others before yourself..BUT NOT ALL THE DAMN TIME! treat yourself, love yourself and prioritise yourself.
thirdly, the PHYSICAL GLOWUP!
now whatever you want to look like, visualise, script, command your subconscious or affirm that what you look like is IN YOUR REALITY! and nothing can stop that, literally nothing can. and in the meantime literally just love yourself, congratulate yourself..i mean your physical glowup is here and you look absolutely stunning.
take plenty of selfies cus you’re beautiful.
go outside and hang out with friends PLEASE DO NOT PUT A HAULT ON YOUR LIFE FOR YOUR MANIFESTATIONS.
pretend you’re a celebrity on vogue doing your routine in the bathroom. literally have fun, do hairstyles you wanna try, spend a lil bit of money on skin care + makeup.
NOW..COMBINE EVERYTHING IVE JUST SAID.
okay, now combine everything and just do it, dont be scared. why are you scared? you still have plenty of time to make mistakes and try again, and get your dream life, you still have time to love yourself and gain knowledge of YOU and stuff you like. now..you dont need the “perfect life” i feel like that is being so targeted towards young people nowadays searching for that “perfect life” that builds up so much more pressure, tbh. all you need is stability. become stable and consistent in habits, relationships, your body and your mind. (if u want, u can obvi have ur perfect life hun)
Someone posted this in my discord chat the other day and I’ve been thinking about it nonstop bc this girl is the most correct girl I’ve seen in far too long and she’s right!
If this were a werewolf book, she would be with all three of them. She needs all three of them to be a whole and balanced woman.
Lol, pretty in pink lee😅get out of here
imagine being a mage in training and having to witness so many powerful mages act like idiots in front you i'd pack my bags and leave with master lee
I cry when it's dark out, I cry because I am overwhelmed. I cry because it's not fair. I cry never ending tears. I want to curl up and never leave my bed, it's all a bit much. I know nothing and everything all at once and I feel completely unravelled by it. Vulnerability and intimacy are meant to make you softer more pliable, instead my insides feel like lead and my head is bursting with water. I keep saying the affirmations, I go and work my body ragged but still so violently bad at life. I cry because it's supposed to make me feel better but all I feel is insane and guilty because I do not think I deserve to cry. I am at a better place than most people in the world and yet I feel completely in the shutter. God please unburden me, fix me, fix me, fix me
so i’ve noticed some people in my life, mostly girls, who date guys who aren’t neccesarily bad (but kinda) , but they’re dating them just to have a bf, yk? like they don’t really like the guy, they just want a bf. obviously it’s none of my business, but loves, don’t lower your standards, don’t date someone just so your not single- date someone when you really care.
know what you want- plan out what you want in a bf/gf
list traits that you find important in a relationship and a partner
decide what you would tolerate and what you wouldn’t
manifest and believe- you will meet your dream person when the time is right!
set your priorities- better yourself
don’t put all your energy towards finding a date, you’ll only get your heart broken
work towards your goals and dreams, keep your friends close
don’t be desperate- don’t go for someone you don’t like
if someone asks you out but you really don’t like them, just reject them!
don’t date someone/go out with someone if you really don’t like them
wait-
just wait, in time you will meet your dream person! remember to not be desperate, know what you want in a relationship, work on yourself and don’t let relationships bring you down
So whimsically delicate.
Hunter Schafer as Tigris Snow in The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (2023)
set your goals-
what do you want to achieve?
what are your goals?
look at your life- what can you improve?
look at yourself- how can you improve?
start organizing your life-
look at your goals and establish habits to achieve them
clean your room and environment
delete old apps
remove toxic people
unfollow accounts that make you feel negative
turn off electronics to clear your mind
consistency over intensity-
stick with the habits you’ve decided on
make little changes to your life everyday- something easy, like reading 10 minutes a day
find ways to attain your goals and your new healthy habits
stay motivated-
remember WHY you started
review your goals
surround yourself with positivity- positive quotes, positive people, positive accounts
The main thing I’ve noticed about men is that they ALWAYS date with intention and a play.
This is BOTH from good men and the hobosexuals. They know what they’re doing.
INTENTION: an aim or a plan
PLAY: a report on what is happening in a sports game; plan breakdown
Men NEVER “go with the flow”. They either have ill, self centered (using you as a placeholder/booty call) or mutually beneficial intentions (marriage, FWB etc.).
In addition, they NEVER aimlessly find their way towards their goal. They have a goal and they break down the actions behind the accomplishment.
Sometimes it’s your heart. Sometimes it’s your life insurance plan.
It’s time we, as women, buckle up and have our own agendas lined up.
LAW 4
I love my ladies but we do indeed pillow talk too much to the men we are dating. We tell them our backstories. We tell them how our exes did us dirty and all they do is sit back and take notes for when it’s their turn to do the same.
ITS TIME WE LIE AND LEAVE OUT INFO.
In addition, stop letting men lead the convo because you’re too intimidated to hold the conversation. It’s your job to get him to spill as much info about himself for you to gather a conclusion about your intentions with him.
LAW 9
Get it through your thick skull that you’ll never win an argument with a man using your words. Definitely not if you raise your voice.
A lot of women message me stating how they keep “telling” their man how to treat them and I sigh & laugh because I remember when I was that ditzy.
Men are indeed like dogs. You’ll get almost nowhere yelling or repeating yourself to a dog whose insisting on not listening to you (i.e. pulling the leash while you call their name.).
You can let the dog pull you and continue to yell…but where does that get you expect IGNORED and IN DISTRESS?
Put your foot down…and out the door. Just for the love of God stop playing dumb for peen.
LAW 17
“Humans are creatures of habit with an insatiable need to see familiarity in other people’s actions. Your predictability gives them a sense of control. Turn the tables. Be deliberately unpredictable.”
It’s one thing to be mysterious but it’s another to add the razzle dazzle of randomness in the mix. You see, you can predict someone being mysterious- being somewhat reserved or private.
Be unpredictable and have a moment where you’re transparent. Everyone shouldn’t have the same (good) impression of you. Some may view you as serious and laid back while others couldn’t imagine you being nothing other than bubbly. Shake shit up.
Closing Thoughts:
Men have created a culture of sharing the secrets of using women to their advantage. They’re not clueless nor uneducated on how to treat you correctly therefore it’s unproductive to attempt to teach them.
They are simply using the strategy their barber, daddy, coach, teammates and Pastor passed along to them since you (most likely) weren’t taught any better. They have a community-a village that molds them, something women do not have in general.
My goal here is to create community while encouraging young women to use LOGIC when it comes to romance. It’s both for safety and spoiled brat purposes.