Huge Shout Out To Centauri, I Saw This At Top Screen This Year And Had To Vote For It, Not Sure How Well

I was not ready for the husband's costume

Blue Gnome Gardening - Team Fortress 2 (2007) on the map Sandcastle (2023)

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

so i'm currently rereading Lolita and, in it, the word "crepitate" is used. i wasn't sure if it had multiple meanings, so i googled it.

now, i don't know about you, but when i type a word like "crepitate" into the search bar, i don't really expect "fart" to appear in any of the top results, and yet:

i was disappointed to learn that there isn't a classification system for farts, but, rather, you can buy a CD featuring a fart competition called The Original Crepitation Contest that Amazon reviewers assure me is comedy gold. okay. mystery solv--

hang on.

this also came up. Google is presenting it as fact.

Google is telling me that on May 16th, in the year of our lord 1972, a man farted for 1/3 of a second at a register of 194 dB.

according to the National Hearing Conservation Association, that is the loudest possible sustained sound. when a sound reaches that decibel, it no longer travels through the air, but moves it. it only comes from things like volcanic eruptions and can cause organ damage.

call me a Doubting Thomas if you must, but i just don't think this is true.

i just don't think anyone recorded a man farting so hard that it created a literal shockwave, blowing his asshole clean off and probably killing everyone around him, because i just don't think a guy did that, and i especially don't think that, if he did, his government name was Alvin Meshits.

at this point i'd totally forgotten i was trying to read literary classic Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov and instead started searching for the origin of Mr. Meshits, fart terrorist. from what i can tell, someone on Reddit just randomly shared it to r/todayilearned and Google went "yeah, this seems true" and now it's just out there.

now someone might stumble upon it and go "wow, that's crazy" and live the rest of their life believing a fart erupted at such force it likely blew its own progenitor to creamed corn.

i don't think Madeline, Texas is even a real place.

gabv1el 2 me

Yes this is a michael reeves ref

you: suck my dick me, an intellectual: inhale my richard

Sometimes I remember that "I'm so fucking normal right now" is a line from disco elysium. like that's such a sentence from a tumblr post to me but no. harry du bois said that. out loud. he would do numbers on here

reblog if your name isn't Amanda.

2,121,566 people are not Amanda and counting!

We’ll find you Amanda.

after my werewolf boyfriend pulls out

ALL UNITED STATES LOVERS OF MY HAMBURGER STORE POSTS will be happy to know I have tried "IN AND OUT HAMBURGERS" for the first time tonight. What follows is a detailing of my thoughts.

THE BURGER

I got a two-by-two in animal mode. This sounds like a plank of wood, which I guess is how eating a large hamburger can make you feel on a bad day.

It was pretty good.

It was VERY salty.

I seen people talk about them cooking the patties on the flat-top with mustard smeared on 'em. I like the way it seasons the meat, but I wish they either used more mustard or put mustard on the sandwich.

The special secret animal sauce is just fry sauce. It's good.

The onions were really nice.

The bun was noticeably good. I feel like some greasy spoons and hamburger stores, the bun's completely unremarkable. This one I noticed the presence and taste of the bread and it was good. Good ratio of bread to everything else.

I think I've had better burgers before, but it was a damn fine hamburger all the same.

THE FRIES

My fries were from the animal zone.

They just slapped a slice of American cheese on there!! I didn't realize it would have cheese. It was pretty good as far as American cheese goes.

The sauce is still just fry sauce. Still good. I suppose there's a reason why every hamburger shop's Special Sauce is just some variant of this same thing.

The onions went really good with the fries. I was surprised. I thought it'd be kind of "whatever" but I really liked the combo of everything together overall. Whole feels greater than the sum of its parts.

The fries themselves were the weakest link. I'm told I can get them "well done", but I wanted to try them the "default" way. I think next time I will ask for them to be cooked more.

THE MILKSHAKE

Thick as fuck!!!!

I want her to call me.

OVERALL: Was pretty good. If I was a person that was into cars and driving and American driving culture I probably would have liked it more as a wholesale experience. But the hamburgers they stock are pretty good.