The Poet Who Was Just Pulling Shit Out Of His Ass:

sirius walking in on a murder scene:

just imagine regulus killing someone with a knife (for a good cause obvs) and sirius walks in and sees him standing like a foot away from the corpse with messy hair, bloody hands and holding the murder weapon...

sirius:oh-

regulus:uhh...

sirius:...

regulus:...

sirius:...

regulus:siri this i-

sirius: so are we burning or burying?

regulus: wha-

i hate how non-australians are always like, 'yOu oNLy nEeD TwO sPOnS oF mILo'

like you would know BITCH

DONT FKN TELL ME WHAT TO DO

I CANT SURVIVE ON ONLT ONE

IMMA EAT 30 SPOONS STRAIGHT OUTTA THE CAN EVERY DAY

THERES GONNA BE 9 SPOONS OF MILO IN 100ML OF MILK

YOU CAN KISS MY ASS

when barty crouch jr was caught at the end of the triwizard tournament, he was happy for 2 reasons.

the smaller reason, reason number 1, was that the dark lord was coming back.

we all know that in even cannon barty absolutely WORSHIPED the dark lord and he was estatic he was back.

the second reason, which i think was the larger one, was that he knew he was about to die.

he knew it, we knew, we all did.

it was practically, like, standing on a stage in front of everyone.

but he was happy to die because he would meet his best friends regulus and pandora again.

he was happy because he was going to meet his Evan again.

but he didn't.

he never did, and never will.

Reblog this post to ask mutuals to tell you their weirdest theory about u

i don't do much studying at school. i just sit down and pray these idiots aren't actually this idiotic.

aint no way the ass who tried to kil Trump couldnt do it. he shot FIVE TIMES. HE WAS RIGHT THERE???? IF U TRYNA PULL A JFK DO IT PROPERLY MF

me when i lie:

I can behave normally around books

me when he's the second son:

see the heart really shows how much he cares.