I Feel Like As A Blue Lock Content Creator, Mainly Writing, I Do Have To At Least Acknowledge And Speak

Literally canon every single interaction yes yes

it's so hilarious how yukimiya is canonically the unluckiest character, i imagine he would have such a hard time trying to impress his crush.

being a model, yukimiya knows his angles and how to carry himself, but somehow, you never catch him in the most flattering positions. the first time you meet, you see him trying to catch the snack his friend was going to throw into his mouth, but his friend sneezes right when the snack is launched and yukimiya gets hit in the eye (yes, the snack somehow gets past his glasses. how does that even happen?). on another day, he sees you stranded at a bus stop near the school because it's pouring and you didn't have an umbrella, but when he walks towards you in hopes of getting to share his umbrella with you, he slips on a puddle and lands on his butt with a splash.

while yukimiya always has a smile on his face, his close friends would know that it isn't always genuine, and behind his polite friendliness, he loved to gossip. the unfortunate thing is, you've caught him more than once in a less than ideal situation. for example, after politely rejecting a classmate's confession, he turned around to roll his eyes because she could barely give a good reason beyond his looks for why she had feelings for him, just for you to be right in front of him to see his scoff up close. ah, not to mention that one time you overheard yukimiya snickering with his friends about a teacher looking like a turtle. it still keeps him up at night sometimes.

yukimiya knows that it's impossible to keep up his smile all the time, but at the very least, he wants you to always see him smiling, so he makes sure to try extra hard whenever you're around. or at least whenever he thinks you're around.

it's one of those days when everything is just a little too much to bear, so yukimiya excuses himself from soccer training to catch a breath in a corner of the school compound, hidden from view behind a vending machine. but of course, it's just his luck that you happen to use the one next to him, out of all the vending machines in the school. he brushes off your concern when you ask why he's crouched on the ground, and he slaps on a smile as he tries to distract you with some small talk. yet, you seem unconvinced, so you buy him a drink and crouch next to him.

in your bid to comfort him, you recount the silly situations you've seen him in, not realising that he's burying his face deeper into his hands with every word you say. you let it slip that you think these sides of him are cute, and although many, including himself, think of yukimiya as calm and composed, he looks up at you with wide eyes and an uncontrollable blush.

“uhm the ship is cannon 🤓☝️”

uhm actually, the only cannon ship is me x whatever character i’m into. stop being delusional.

Marc Snuffy and His Nightmares

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His sight was blurry, like a painting that had been smeared over. Of all the colors blending together, Marc could oh so clearly make out his face.

That sullen, lifeless face. The light that once shone with promise of regality and conquest was replaced with a dull, muddy brown that only encapsulated the horrors of peasantry and failure. The dirty, overgrown locks that covered his forehead instead of that proud, Mohawk-esque hairstyle he would adorn with his full chest. That god awful beard that tainted his once golden skin, matted together with bile that had poured from his mouth. The tear streaks he could barely make out had dried so delicately along his cheeks.

Oh, Mick. How Marc had let you down.

Snuffy’s eyes opened instantly. The hazy blurs of dream began to fade and the harsh lines of reality became more and more apparent with every blink he took.

There was no more Mick. Mick wasn’t next to him, in this bed of love and security that he had nested in so cautiously for months and months. You were, with your hair unkempt and your drool that had seeped from your lips onto your pillow. How similar the two of you look right now, Marc noted with slight horror.

Before he could think much more, his hand was already pressing against your cheek; cradling the side of your face. He cradled Mick just like this too that day. His thumb whisked over your lips as he gathered some of the drool there. He didn’t like it, didn’t like this feeling scalding over his body and mind with such heat. And yet, even though his best friend may live in his head, Marc knows he is gone and you are not.

You are alive, even when you look so dead. Dead to the world, dead to him. The only thing he can be certain of right now is the warmth of your skin and the current of air circulation from your breaths. He can’t trust his thoughts. But he can trust your pulse.

Inhaling with a shake, Marc squints to focus on you more clearly in the dark of the night. Your skin was carefully drawn and colored by Michelangelo himself, with streaks of moonlight giving your skin an ethereal glow. Your hair, though unkempt, foiled and laid to rest around you perfectly. A composition directed by Mozart. You were royal. You are royal.

You are..awake.

Marc stared into your eyes. You stared back, sleep dulling the inquisitive look you were giving him.

“What are you doing?” You mumble, closing your eyes.

He blinks, “How long have you been awake?”

You ignore his question, “I can feel your hand shaking. Do you want to talk about it?”

Your hand comes up and slides in tune with his own. He watches as you press a soft, chaste kiss to his palm. Marc reaches his other hand under you and pulls you towards him. He settles in the crook of your neck, trying to find the peace that sleep did not offer him. You entangle further with him, using your free hand to pet his hair. Moments pass with the two of you just like this.

“I just woke up. Felt you.” You whisper, hoping to draw out a respond from him. He sighs.

“Go back to sleep. I feel you too.”

You line the top of his head with slow kisses. He didn’t want to talk about it.

You knew what happened with Mick Moon. You know how much it haunts Marc. You know that you can’t help him when he tries to shut you out like this. For a guy that’s generally so easy going, he can become real uptight when he feels the need. This need is one you don’t particularly like.

“I love you,” You try. “I love you Marc.”

His breath hitches. That got him, Wetness begins to coat the junction between your neck and shoulder. His body is starting to heave with every muffled sob he lets out. You let him, holding him closely to you as he releases all of that burden he’s been caring.

•••

You don’t know how much has passed. You press a kiss to Marc’s hair again. Your eyelids refuse to open, sleep caging you. Despite that, rest will not find you, not yet. Marc stopped crying a good bit ago, but you speculate the two of you are both still awake. You press another kiss to his head.

“I love you.” You barely hear it. It’s small and weak, probably just like how he feels right now. But it’s raw. Thats one thing Marc always does, and continues to do: love with raw passion. He loved Mick, loves Mick. He has loved you and will still love you well into tomorrow. Just like Mick.

You smile. The waves of dream take over the two of you, that solace of the embrace you two fall asleep in being one of protection and intimacy.

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This biscuit is just for you, mwah 😽

9.8.24

Noel Noa would let his spouse do his eyeliner for him sometimes

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(It’s so canon that he wears eyeliner, I don’t care none of that ‘oh it’s natural’ bs my man is a cat-eye winged baddie)

I doubt he wore it when he was in the slums of France. He probably started using eyeliner regularly when he got recruited to a smaller team, his first real opportunity to change his life. Maybe he wears it because he likes the feeling of empowerment and belonging the dramatic flare the eyeliner brings to him. Maybe he wears it as a safety precaution, something to hide the flaws only he sees, and doesn’t realize it yet. Maybe he wanted to be remembered, to stand out. Not to be identified as the poor, improper, uneducated boy with potential, to be a beast of a football player that stands next to no one. A man that was worth more than the dirty slums. If they wouldn’t remember his name or his abilities, they would remember the cold, (desperate) hungry gleam in his amber eyes encased in a cut of harsh black liner.

Whatever the case, the eyeliner has stuck with him for years. Even you, his spouse that shares a home with him, hardly see Noel without it. Due to his profession, his training and competition often ensured that Noel would rise out of bed before you and sink back into bed after you. You don’t mind though, treasuring your time with Noel comes in small but rewarding moments.

Like this morning.

Noel was to be at the airport in a few hours to fly to Japan from Germany with his team, Bastard Munchen. Apparently their presence is required for the next phase of the ‘Blue Lock’ program. You heard of it, having one foot in the football world at all times because of Noel; however no one in the world would have expected the upset that was the U-20 game held in Japan a couple weeks ago.

You weren’t too fond of the idea of Noel staying at the Blue Lock facility for the foreseeable future, and you could tell by his attitude neither was he. This ‘Neo Egoist League’ he mentioned sounded like one big round robin experiment to find players for the U-20 World Cup. Something only weeks away. The whole thing was like a dream, you just couldn’t tell if it would be a good one or a bad one. Seems as though the whole world will have to figure out together as very few are privy to know what is happening inside Blue Lock as of now.

Despite his protests in favor of you sleeping in, you decided to accompany and see Noel off.

“Noel, I’m not able to come with you. This will be the last morning I get to spend with you for weeks.” You stress to the figure washing his face in your shared bathroom.

“You still have to go to work later today, you need to sleep. No one wants to deal with an employer that can’t keep their eyes open for five minutes.” Noel calls.

“I’ll be fine, I’m a grown woman who can handle a little sleepiness,” You groan and stride to the bathroom. “You’re one to talk on the matter in fact, I can see your eye bags from here.”

The two of you lock eyes and enter a silent competition. Noel refuses to admit his sleep has been plagued with thoughts about the Blue Lock situation and wishes for you to return to bed. You are unrelenting in your efforts of spending this time with him and do not want to lay in a bed getting colder by the minute.

Noel sighs. Victory. You 1, Noel 0.

“Perhaps then you should do my eyeliner today, to lessen the appearance of my eye bags to your satisfactory.” He mumbles and holds his hand out with the marker in tow. An olive branch. A gleaming smile breaks upon your face.

There was something very private, very intimate for Noel when he allowed for you to do his eyeliner. Him leaning against the counter facing you, you between his legs holding his face. It was about trust. It was about vulnerability. Even if Noel wouldn’t admit it to you, he was giving you access to that little boy covered in dirt and bruises all those years ago. You knew it too, the way his face would lean into the skin of your palm as you held him steady. The way his shoulders would relax and his posture would slack. The way his eyes would close and twitch ever so slightly when they felt the ink from the marker. You knew you were holding the boy right now, not the man.

You’ve seen the boy a good handful of times. In the crux of the night when Noel would hold your body closer to him. In the evening husk when you would massage his body and play with his thick tufts of white hair. In the middle of the day; when you could hear the smile in his voice even if it wasn’t present in his face as he called you on your lunch break. And in the morning, when you did his eyeliner.

And you were oh so fragile with him. He appreciated it greatly, the warm feeling that flowed through his veins. It complimented the confidence the eyeliner gave him perfectly.

Once you finished you pressed a chaste kiss to his nose, then one on his lips. He sighed slightly at the feeling of your lips touching. The momentary solace building his energy that the night had sapped away from him instead of rejuvenating home with. You rubbed your thumbs through his wispy white eyebrow hairs and waited. Noel slowly opened his eyes, and looked at the small smile adorning your face.

His eye bags were still present, he still carried that essence of tiredness. But there was more life in his eyes. They glowed brighter, more whimsical than before. It was the perfect blend of boy and man.

“Thank you, Y/N.” The man said. For everything. The boy thought.

He couldn’t verbalize it, not now. His emotions would over take him, and he can’t afford that at this moment. Not when he’s about to part from you for so long. He had to be the man.

You understood though, you always do.

“Always, my love.”

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AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I HOPE WHOEVER READS THIS EATS THIS UP BC I PUT MY WHOLE SOUL INTO COOKING THIS

Mwah 😽

8.02.24

¡Shidou’s hcs and character analysis!

tw// childhood trauma, violence, reference to possible SA in his past, my writing cause I didn’t proffered this

PHYSICAL TOUCH!! Friends, lovers or even just acquaintances, he has the bad habit of seeking touch, small or big doesn’t matter. From shoving to fidgeting. It’s different obviously base on the relationship you have with him. Are you two friends? Expect playful shoves, ruffling each other’s hair, if sat together legs or shoulders will touch casually. He is the type of person to laugh and slap your shoulder while laughing. 

If you two are lovers: hand holding (he does that thing of rubbing his thumb on the back of your hand), kisses, hair ruffling, legs intertwined, hugs from the back, nibbling/biting. Pressing his forehead against yours. SQUEEZES. Especially if you have more fat on you, he would *love* it. The need to hold you close and squish your rolls or chub. 

I personally see him as unlabelled. I know a lot like to hc him as gay. And it does make sense, but one can flirt with guys and it doesn’t erase the possibility of being into women too. That said, I do believe he has a preference for guys, especially aesthetically, but ultimately his choice of a partner would be base on mental compatibility and aesthetic attraction, no gender. I feel he is into someone who truly enjoys being their true self and doesn’t conform to society norms, more on this in a sec.

He is complex, as we see glimpses of this in the “egoist bible” and during his internal dialogue (like in the U20 arc). I don’t think he would be a bad boyfriend, but neither would he be perfect. Objectively speaking, he does have a rough, almost explosive side. But that’s a side he brings onto the football field. How he is outside of football we don’t really know. He is shown to be someone who values uniques, and also strength, complimenting other players strengths. He is not a demon, he just so happens to be a human with a deep complex personality. He seems to value peace in his life outside of football, which is something you don’t expect from him. Because he gets presented as this brute individual and yet he is the same who pops out this answers: “What made you cry recently?” At the end of the day when I become nothing, tears come out.

“What will you do on your last day on earth” Watch it as it reaches its end

“How would you spend your day off?” Be free from everything and become nothing

His answers are, intense, are they not? Which leads me to several thoughts. 1) He is very lonely. Using humour and anger to defend himself, a common trait of children who were abused, neglected in their childhood.

2) base on this, I feel in a relationship he would enjoy someone who has similar vibes to him but ultimately is different. Someone he can be chaotic with, someone he can laugh as loud as he wants, someone with who he can gossip and still have deep conversations at the same time. Ultimately, an artistic partner would be the best. Not only because he is into art, mostly as a way to cool down and shut down his brain, but because an artist or even a writer can see the world under different shades of colours rather than in greyscale. Classical introverted x extrovert duo, with the exception that the introvert individual becomes as extrovert as him when they are alone. His partner is his ancor. He will need to feel at peace from the turmoil inside of him. 

3)his home life was not the happy kind. Now, this has been long speculated and I will give my 50 cents on the matter. Let’s analyse his favourite movie, manga and song: 

Music > hide. Especially "Pink Spider" 

Movie > "A Clockwork Orange" 

Manga > "Chainsawman"

On the base line all three explore the darker sides of humanity, the need for personal freedom, and the consequences of defying societal norms. They create a raw and intense narrative about self-destruction, survival, and transformation.

But if we dive deeper > the movie mainly depicts SA, it’s a twist mix of violence, societal injustices and lack of free will… “Chainsaw man” it’s all about violence, power imbalance and manipulation. Denji was a tool from the start to end (again, lack of free will). The song, explored themes of internal chaos, the darkness in humanity, destruction and emotional turbulence and the psychological tool that that violence and abuse leaves on people.  I mean… can it be any more obvious? His whole character is shown to be this brute, rude, violent individual but slowly we are being feed details into his insight. Like how deeply philosophical he is, artistic and yet he is genuinely over sexualised. Maybe is a reach, but I don’t think that movie, the song and the manga choice are casual. They are a mirror image into the possibility that his childhood was pretty much terrible. That his sexual comments, which come off as almost distasteful, and feel icky in a way, are a projection of what he went through. Trying to use a distorted sense of humour and the violence he grew up with, to shield himself from what’s his personal life and past.

Like when he was locked up, his reaction was intense. He was close to begging to be set free. Again— lack of freedom, he hates not being able to be free. Something could have been taken away from him in the past. Maybe is as simple as a culture thing— as we know Japan is a rather modest country with certain unspoken rules. Its traditional outlook on things such as gender and sexuality are the total opposite of Shidou’s persona. His appearance is loud, his personality is loud and it alls screams “look at me I’m here” and yet at the end of the day he is still a lonely being.

I recently reread the U20 chapter where he enters on the field. His inner monologue he uses biology (specifically fertilization) as an analogy to scoring. Many people interpret it as him making a connection to sex, but for me, it didn’t read as such. Maybe it’s my literature student nerd ass, but, I took from his inner monologue a sense of need in terms of leaving a mark onto this world. He speaks how art leaves a mark, so does books, buildings and obviously children, showing the family legacy. Proof that something existed before them.

Shidou feels that his legacy, his needs, are validated through scoring. He feels seen, people are cheering. He is leaving a mark. Which ultimately could be validating a lack of emotional attention he received when he was a child. To me, all of these references and the constant sexual innuendos are a meaning for something deeper. We saw how each character with a heavy backstory has a trait or something in them that screams “something is not right”. Like Rin’s personality being a result of what happened between him and Sae. Can’t think of anything else to add, maybe I will add something later. If you have any opinions, I am more than willing to read them!! Feel free to reblog/comment :))

Blue Lock Master Striker Cuddling Blurbs

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Noel Noa spooning you from behind, one of his hands on your stomach and his other arm is stretched out for your head to use as a pillow. His face is resting on the meeting point of your shoulder and your neck, his breath ever so slightly warming the skin there. The blanket is cocooned over the two of you, creating a pocket of warmth.

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Lavinho lays on your front as the two of you nap. His left hand is underneath your bum, holding you firmly to him. His right hand is intertwined with your left hand. His face is unseen as he is face first in your chest, your clothing hardly allowing for him to feel the warmth of your body- but he doesn’t mind. Your legs are loosely wrapped the back of his thighs, a comfortable stretch for you and a safe embrace for him.

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Marc Snuffy laying flat on his back on the bed. You in the space between his arm and body, so warm and secure. His arm wrapped around your body was petting you, running along your side until he fell asleep. Now it’s still in the dip of your waist, a weighted presence that further lulls you into the land of dreams. Your head is smushed against his chest, his firm pec providing the stability you need. His other hand was holding a magazine, the latest edition of a European football team that frequents the brand, now sprawled on the bed long forgotten.

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Julian Loki sitting on the couch. You silently sleeping between his legs. The foot rest giving the two of you much preferred leg space for occasional stretches before getting back to sleeping together. His arms hugging you close to his own body. The blanket covering your back takes ever so slightly on Loki too. The perfect leisure temperature.

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Chris Prince hugging your waist. Your still fingers in his hair, tangled in his blonde strands from playing with it. His face was pressing into your stomach, your womb proving to be the best sort of pillow for Chris- especially when he’s feeling needy. The blanket is haphazardly strung along his body, his bare muscles contrasting with the thick material every deep breath he takes

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This biscuit is just for you, mwah 😽

Bluelock headcanons except it's the bluelock TV fandom

• rin and sae stans have crazy beef. You know they were making edits to 'the winner takes it all' by abba after the u20 match and sae stans were commenting 'womp womp' and similar sentiments

• There are 3 kinds of players regarding ships,

1. Actively feeds (trolls) the shippers (eg: hiori)

2. Unintentionally feeds the shippers (eg: isagi, rin, otoya)

3. Reonagi and ryusae

• someone started a petition to eliminate isagi from bluelock for 'unsportsmanlike behaviour' and spread it around to get signatures

• Ness has an alt account that's just an isagi hate page

• he did not start the petition but by gods did he spread it around (lowkey was jealous he hadn't thought of it first)

• ego has a tumblr blog and that's his only social media page

• the name is 'actuallyegojinpachi' but his pfp is one of those ego pictures with an edited on pink sparkly bow so no one believes him

• he actively spreads misinformation and bullshit theories so no one believes him even when he reveals real info

• it's crazy popular, and he exists as one of the starting pillars of the fandom

• nagi regularly retweets fanart of him and reo, so it's just gaming, gaming, gaming, reo oiled up wearing a collar on his knees, gaming, gaming

• literally every product yukimiya has worked with sold out overnight after his debut on bastard munchen (including a toothpaste brand for old people)

• There was a frenzied search for whatever no name brand shampoo and conditioner bluelock has after chigiri let it slip in some interview that his hair care was literally only whatever was there.

• kunigami fans have pfps of him edited with like emo stuff (think dark eyeshadow, chains etc)

• There was a character lookalike contest and chigiri's sister won as him

• there's a twitter page that's does a 'x days since reonagi miscommunication bullshit'

• aryu is a Pinterest girl kaneshiro told me in a dream

• There is a dedicated subreddit for 'bluelock TV milfs'

Marc Snuffy was surprised the first time you picked him up.

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You and Marc had been in a relationship for a good while, enough for you to understand how much pride Marc has in his body. The skills he embeds into his soccer play style from his jujitsu background never failed to benefit him on the field.

Of all places, he had met you at the gym. At first he noticed your gym wear and made a comment to you in passing that he liked the color. He hadn’t seen you before that. After that, however, you two started to bump into each other more often.

Glances turned to smiles and smiles turned to you asking for his phone number. Marc was pleased when you texted him the following day and the two of you were able to make plans that fit around his soccer schedule.

You were quirky to Marc. He often would jokingly use you as an elbow rest when the two of you were out, commenting on how much shorter you were compared to him. He enjoyed the moments when you would instigate muscle contents, claiming your biceps were superior to his. He adored the determination in your movements as you two would wrestle around with each other too.

But he wasn’t expecting to be picked up during the latest wrestling session between the two of you. The beginning was a blur, all Marc remembered was that he saw you squat a little further down before rushing him with a pearly smile on your face. From the instant you made contact with his legs and hips, he lost his footing. More correctly, his feet were lifted from the ground.

Your arms crushed his waist tightly, leaving his arms to rest on your own waist to stable himself. Marc blinked, staring at the ground from his position along your shoulder.

“What? Since when could you do this, you goose?” Marc chuckled.

Giggles from below turned into a hearty laugh as you walked a couple paces to set him down on the bed. Following him, you laid along his stomach and chest, resting your head there. As he looked at you, he saw creases under your eyes and the wrinkles along your face. You were beautiful.

“I didn’t know I could do that either. It must be all those gym rat genes flowing in me, that was fun,” You chuckled. “And I win.”

Marc rolled his eyes playfully before turning the two of you over in the bed.

“You can have that one, but I’m winning round two.”

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Mwah 😽

OKAY so the only thing I want to say about yesterday's spoilers (Ness backstory) is that borderliner* Ness is canon now lol

✅ explosive anger

✅ feeling neglected, alone, misunderstood most of the time

✅ low self-esteem and the resulting self-hatred

✅ strong, overwhelming emotions

(feelings that can't be explained == too high (for average person) bursts of them. Inability to handle them)

✅ black and white thinking

(Isagi's either good (tosses to Kaiser) or bad (doesn't toss to Kaiser) lol)

✅ fear of abandonment + self-harm

✅ very intense, frequent, extreme emotional swings

(difference of one second)

(difference of one second pt.2)

✅ maladaptive daydreaming

✅ determining one's value through relationships with others

✅ unstable relationships

I'm really disappointed that chapter haven't shown Ness' attempts to gain his parents and siblings love but, eh, okay. I can work with that

*

A little background on who people with borderline personality disorder are and where do they come from. (Of course, each case is unique. I'm talking about the average manifestation of the disorder here.)

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a type of personality disorder in which a person is unstable, hypersensitive, highly anxious, and has no sense of self (no feeling of identity). One in ten patients end up committing suicide.

In fact, borderliners are people with no emotional skin. What for a stable person is a small domestic nuisance - for a borderliner is boundless terror, fear, a complete sense of helplessness and overwhelming self-loathing. Are you sick? It's your fault, you're worthless. You forgot your pass and had to buy an underground ticket? You're disgusting, step under a train right now. You forgot the food in the fridge and it spoilt? Don't you dare eat for another three days, punish yourself, cut yourself because you're nothing. That's not an exaggeration, it's true. And then you see an advert with a doggy and you laugh until you cry and all is fine.

It's like that dozens of times in one day.

Why do borderliners work this way? Heredity plays a role (which in Ness's case can be seen, for example, by the fact that he reacted acutely to some things even as a child), but to a greater extent, of course, the family, because when BPD is treated in the early stages, it is more easily reduced to remission (but does not disappear completely - it is like the core of the personality). Speaking of family types, typically borderliners come out of families with a narcissistic parent or the same borderline. Why exactly is that the case?

Because life with a narcissist/borderliner parent is an endless battlefield in which the child is forced to survive. Any emotion you have, if it doesn't fall under the parent's incomprehensible ideas, is repulsive. Any request you make and attempt to speak your mind is a violation of all laws and the worst offence. Today you're the golden child, tomorrow you're trash. Today your mom says she loves you, and tomorrow she blames you for divorcing your dad. Today dad likes the tea you made him, tomorrow he'll throw it in your face. It's a constant violation of personal space, an inability to have privacy, an impossibility to defend your interests - and yet a staggering neglect, a removal of the child from your life. Parents in such families usually divide their children into "golden" and "outcast" children, emphasising in every possible way how terrible the lousy sheep of the family (the outcast child) is, and encouraging bullying by their siblings.

Sounds similar to Ness's story, doesn't it?

In such families, the child by the age of 6 or 7 already knows that he is disgusting, horrible, and must do anything to avoid being abandoned - because the parents emphasise in every possible way that he is horrible, but they (for now) keep him out of mercy. A child learns by the slightest movement of the eyebrows and corner of the mouth to know when mom loves you and when she hates you, when dad is good and when he's bad.

The childhood of such children is a battlefield, and they come out of it emotionally disabled. For example, a very common consequence of living in such a family, in addition to BPD, is PTSD. Yeah, like war veterans.

(and by the way, borderliners VERY often end up paired with… Narcissists. Because it's a familiar love-hate game. And on top of that, also a beautiful (non-existent) personality to take a bite out of for your non-existent self))

Character Analysis Yaps

Part 1: Sae

Aka just some rambles about Sae and his personality, not really proof read

I think Sae as a character is sort of convoluted, but not necessarily for the reasons most people would think. In terms of soccer when you view him he seems sort of unreachable, after all, he is a prodigy and he’s got a great brain. But who is Sae outside of that bubble of soccer?

Well, he’s a blunt, singularly focused, asshole type of guy… but I think he’s also someone who values domesticity and comfort, and that he’s someone who deeply cherishes his close ones.

I think a great example of this is apparent with his brother. But he’s been shown to take the fall for Rin consistently when he messed up (ex. Rin breaking his toys) and even being there to comfort Rin when Rin wonders if no one will like him due to his more off putting personality traits. Sae doesn’t offer false comfort by saying that people will like Rin, instead he says that even if no one likes him, his older brother will always be there for him.

Even later on, when Rin and Sae have their confrontation, Sae’s choices of words are harsh, but underneath it, there’s honest advice. That advice being that Rin, if he really wants to be a pro player, should stop seeing football as a way to bond with his brother and find his own appreciation for the game untethered by other people. Even when Sae says that he’s never seen Rin as anything but an eyesore, he’s pushing Rin away, not to further his own goals, but to further Rin’s goals by helping Rin move away from depending on Sae. Obviously, that doesn’t exactly work due to Rin’s obsessive tendencies, but it’s clear that Sae has been doing two things: one, really testing if Rin wants to play soccer and two, making sure that Rin knows what lies ahead on his path to become a pro.

I think these reasons show some insight into his childhood and his personality. Once again, two main points, one, that some part of Sae mourns his childhood/ a loss of the sense of normalcy and two that Sae is a deeply considerate person.

Obviously, daily interactions aren’t exactly shown in the manga, but there are a few key hints to the fact that Sae does crave this comfort and most of these come from the Egoist Bible. 

The first thing that stood out to me is that his favorite anime is Crayon Shin-Chan, which is targeted towards children, which I think furthers my point for his sense of longing for those unburdened childhood days. This is also interesting to me because his favorite movie is Taxi Driver which is a drastic leap in genre change and could serve as a contradiction to what I said before about him craving comfort. However, despite the somewhat violent and unsettling nature of Taxi Driver, the director himself stated that the movie “…arose from my feeling that movies are really a kind of dream-state…”, which I believe serves to show the type of comfort that Sae seeks out. The movie also is largely about male loneliness which could serve to reflect Sae’s mental state being both isolated in his own country as a prodigy and in Spain as an outsider.

The second thing that stood out to me was that Sae’s least favorite food was French fries. Now normally this wouldn’t mean much, but I think it’s interesting to note that Sae doesn’t hate French Fries, he actually thinks that they’re “addictive”, and that the only reason he doesn’t like them is that they’re unhealthy. I think it’s interesting that his least favorite food wasn’t something he disliked, but rather something that he craved but wouldn’t allow himself to have because he’s so committed to football. It makes you think about what other things Sae must have given up, what average everyday things he found solace in that he felt like he needed to remove, that he now finds distaste in, simply because he can no longer enjoy them unburdened.

Finally, the last and the most heart wrenching piece from the Egoist Bible is the question of what he would do if he didn’t play football, and he finds that he can’t even provide an answer. Because for Sae, his whole life, since he was one, has been focused on honing one talent, and everything else has seemed to fall second, only becoming important when he needs it to further that one skill. Perhaps that’s why he values the simple things outside of football, because he never even got a chance to develop a taste for anything outside of that bubble. And maybe that’s why he was so harsh towards his brother, someone who he saw as unburdened by his talent, slowly growing into someone like him.