Julian Loki Acts Like An Older Sibling. PART 3

OKAY so the only thing I want to say about yesterday's spoilers (Ness backstory) is that borderliner* Ness is canon now lol

✅ explosive anger

✅ feeling neglected, alone, misunderstood most of the time

✅ low self-esteem and the resulting self-hatred

✅ strong, overwhelming emotions

(feelings that can't be explained == too high (for average person) bursts of them. Inability to handle them)

✅ black and white thinking

(Isagi's either good (tosses to Kaiser) or bad (doesn't toss to Kaiser) lol)

✅ fear of abandonment + self-harm

✅ very intense, frequent, extreme emotional swings

(difference of one second)

(difference of one second pt.2)

✅ maladaptive daydreaming

✅ determining one's value through relationships with others

✅ unstable relationships

I'm really disappointed that chapter haven't shown Ness' attempts to gain his parents and siblings love but, eh, okay. I can work with that

*

A little background on who people with borderline personality disorder are and where do they come from. (Of course, each case is unique. I'm talking about the average manifestation of the disorder here.)

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a type of personality disorder in which a person is unstable, hypersensitive, highly anxious, and has no sense of self (no feeling of identity). One in ten patients end up committing suicide.

In fact, borderliners are people with no emotional skin. What for a stable person is a small domestic nuisance - for a borderliner is boundless terror, fear, a complete sense of helplessness and overwhelming self-loathing. Are you sick? It's your fault, you're worthless. You forgot your pass and had to buy an underground ticket? You're disgusting, step under a train right now. You forgot the food in the fridge and it spoilt? Don't you dare eat for another three days, punish yourself, cut yourself because you're nothing. That's not an exaggeration, it's true. And then you see an advert with a doggy and you laugh until you cry and all is fine.

It's like that dozens of times in one day.

Why do borderliners work this way? Heredity plays a role (which in Ness's case can be seen, for example, by the fact that he reacted acutely to some things even as a child), but to a greater extent, of course, the family, because when BPD is treated in the early stages, it is more easily reduced to remission (but does not disappear completely - it is like the core of the personality). Speaking of family types, typically borderliners come out of families with a narcissistic parent or the same borderline. Why exactly is that the case?

Because life with a narcissist/borderliner parent is an endless battlefield in which the child is forced to survive. Any emotion you have, if it doesn't fall under the parent's incomprehensible ideas, is repulsive. Any request you make and attempt to speak your mind is a violation of all laws and the worst offence. Today you're the golden child, tomorrow you're trash. Today your mom says she loves you, and tomorrow she blames you for divorcing your dad. Today dad likes the tea you made him, tomorrow he'll throw it in your face. It's a constant violation of personal space, an inability to have privacy, an impossibility to defend your interests - and yet a staggering neglect, a removal of the child from your life. Parents in such families usually divide their children into "golden" and "outcast" children, emphasising in every possible way how terrible the lousy sheep of the family (the outcast child) is, and encouraging bullying by their siblings.

Sounds similar to Ness's story, doesn't it?

In such families, the child by the age of 6 or 7 already knows that he is disgusting, horrible, and must do anything to avoid being abandoned - because the parents emphasise in every possible way that he is horrible, but they (for now) keep him out of mercy. A child learns by the slightest movement of the eyebrows and corner of the mouth to know when mom loves you and when she hates you, when dad is good and when he's bad.

The childhood of such children is a battlefield, and they come out of it emotionally disabled. For example, a very common consequence of living in such a family, in addition to BPD, is PTSD. Yeah, like war veterans.

(and by the way, borderliners VERY often end up paired with… Narcissists. Because it's a familiar love-hate game. And on top of that, also a beautiful (non-existent) personality to take a bite out of for your non-existent self))

Marc Snuffy was surprised the first time you picked him up.

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You and Marc had been in a relationship for a good while, enough for you to understand how much pride Marc has in his body. The skills he embeds into his soccer play style from his jujitsu background never failed to benefit him on the field.

Of all places, he had met you at the gym. At first he noticed your gym wear and made a comment to you in passing that he liked the color. He hadn’t seen you before that. After that, however, you two started to bump into each other more often.

Glances turned to smiles and smiles turned to you asking for his phone number. Marc was pleased when you texted him the following day and the two of you were able to make plans that fit around his soccer schedule.

You were quirky to Marc. He often would jokingly use you as an elbow rest when the two of you were out, commenting on how much shorter you were compared to him. He enjoyed the moments when you would instigate muscle contents, claiming your biceps were superior to his. He adored the determination in your movements as you two would wrestle around with each other too.

But he wasn’t expecting to be picked up during the latest wrestling session between the two of you. The beginning was a blur, all Marc remembered was that he saw you squat a little further down before rushing him with a pearly smile on your face. From the instant you made contact with his legs and hips, he lost his footing. More correctly, his feet were lifted from the ground.

Your arms crushed his waist tightly, leaving his arms to rest on your own waist to stable himself. Marc blinked, staring at the ground from his position along your shoulder.

“What? Since when could you do this, you goose?” Marc chuckled.

Giggles from below turned into a hearty laugh as you walked a couple paces to set him down on the bed. Following him, you laid along his stomach and chest, resting your head there. As he looked at you, he saw creases under your eyes and the wrinkles along your face. You were beautiful.

“I didn’t know I could do that either. It must be all those gym rat genes flowing in me, that was fun,” You chuckled. “And I win.”

Marc rolled his eyes playfully before turning the two of you over in the bed.

“You can have that one, but I’m winning round two.”

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Mwah 😽

Julian Loki acts like an older sibling. PART 2

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Small disclaimer: as far as I’m aware his family hasn’t been mentioned in the manga nor the egoist bible, so bear with me.

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Julian Loki & Charles Chevalier’s dynamic: patience

Julian Loki is so incredibly patient with Charles that it’s almost endearing with how Loki responds to Charle’s contrarian attitude. Julian repeatedly tries to redirect Charles to get the kid to focus on taking his ‘homework’ and football seriously. And while this is inevitably for Loki’s own future benefit, he gentle parents Charles so well. This is seen when he counteracts Charles’ contrarian system to trick him into listening to him (I’ll put an image of the panel.) Julian doesn’t raise his voice, resort to violent or degrading words, or physically harm Charles-except for kicking a soccer ball at his shoulder/head lol unlike some characters (I’m looking at you Michael.) During the current PXG vs BM match when Charles asks to be subbed out because he has no interest in playing any longer in chap. 259, Julian is still speaking calmly and controlling himself even though this has shown to anger him.

Julian Loki’s coaching mannerisms: politeness

This one panel in Chapter 246 really stood out to me so I wanted to include it.

After the PXG vs Barca match, Julian and the French team have a post game meeting in the locker room. Loki debriefed the team (starting by praising the whole team with quote, “good job today, everyone.”) and gave them personalized ‘homework’ or critiques to help them improve as an individual player. This was normal, I thought. What stood out to me was how polite and formal his speech was. There were no single digs or transgressions at all. There was no harshness or abrasiveness at all either. Everything was rather soft spoken, with ‘please’s and suggestions. I thought that was rather refreshing, to see he’s a teenage boy with manners. He’s always had manners though, since when he and Isagi met for the first time, Isagi was able to pick up on his politeness (as discussed in Part 1.) It makes me feel as though he was raised right with a good set of parents, he’s probably a mama’s boy.

I also think that it’s worth mentioning how much I doubt that he will use the star system to enter the PXG vs BM match. I doubt he’s entered like all the other masters except for Noa in the previous PXG matches, and since he has already declared minimal interest in the league itself there is no way he would join the match. He doesn’t gain anything by doing this, and it also shows his restraint. His mindset his precisely why he doesn’t stand to gain anything if he were to join the match. Unlike Chris Prince, he doesn’t want to stand out and upstage the other players. Unlike Marc Snuffy, he doesn’t want to enforce his control and strategies over his players by joining their ranks. So cool to think about in my opinion. He’s more calm and collected, like Noel Noa. Noel wouldn’t gain anything by joining the match either. The only reason he joined the previous matches was to stop the other master strikers and limit their influence on the field’s plays and players.

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OKAY! Next part I’ll actually talk about him being an older sibling bc I haven’t said squat about that yet in two posts of analysis ranting lol

Noel Noa - sfw character alphabet

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I tried my best but I don’t think I understand his character as well as I want to so some of this might be a touch ooc. Bro looks so good in the master striker color spread tho oml. Also I wrote so many freaking words my head hurts so not proofreading in any way. Have fun dawg

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A • Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Noel is affectionate, in his own way. He’s more of a provider and silent strong type than someone who would skip through the streets if a raining city with you like life were a rom com.

Noel’s affection shows by his consideration for you. He is prone to offering you something to drink, he brought an extra bottle of water with him because he knew you wouldn’t have one with you when y’all met up. He always can recall reminding you to bring the right attire when you go out in preparation for the weather, so for when you don’t take his warnings he can calmly explain how he tried to tell you and how you should be more thoughtful of the future. Noel is also an avid listener when you are talking about something, making direct eye contact and asking questions relating to the topic.

Noel’s very a very controlled individual, so his gestures of affection typically reflect that. Instead of running up to you and bringing you into a tight hug, Noel would walk to where you were standing and greet you with a call of your name while beginning to walk with you to your next destination. If you look closely you can see his ears are dashed with cherry red, and he’s been staring at you the whole time.

B • Babies (How do they react when they see babies and infants in public? Do they want kids of their own?)

I would wager that Noel would be rather indifferent to a smaller child he sees out in public. He might glance at the kid and note their hand that if fiercely balled into a fist around their mother’s dress, or that the father has a harness attached to his chest for the child to sleep there if they so choose.

The sight doesn’t cause any profound emotional changes to Noel, but his body does feel a tad heavier than it did a second ago. His mind might feel a little more clouded, noise beginning to creep around. However, these feelings don’t swell much more than that. Noel won’t allow it. There is no reason for the sight to affect him, right? Noel has made himself the man he is today, on his own- he must stay true to his own past and how he made more of himself.

I don’t think Noel would be opposed to kids, but he is very loyal to his career. He is at the height of his performance, the best striker in the world. A kid would complicate things, even if he wouldn’t need to take that much time off for them. A child shouldn’t grow up in an environment where his father is in another country with a rigorous job schedule. His child shouldn’t need to have that barrier between the two of them, a tension that they might not understand now, but will later in life. Noel wouldn’t want something like that. He would want to be present, to be everything he should have had as a kid.

Perhaps later in life, if there was enough time. However, if his lover did fall pregnant, Noel doesn’t really strike me as the type to advocate for an abortion. It might be the most logical choice, but the air gets tighter around his throat when he thinks about it. It would be his lovers decision at the end, and he would end up quietly wishing for her to keep the kid. To give him a chance. As the best striker in the world, Noel might be able to multitask.

C • Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle?)

Noel took a while, but he does enjoy cuddles. They are soft and safe. You would instigate the majority of them, but he comes around to silently lay by you side and put his hand on your hip until you understand what he’s trying to do.

Noel likes to loosely cuddle before bed and wake up in a tight mess of limbs in the morning. Cuddling eases the noise he hears in his brain and often replaces it with a soft, silent haze. It makes him sleepy. And lord I would wager he needs to get some extra sleep.

Noel doesn’t mind who’s the big spoon, but he generally starts out the cuddling session as the bigger spoon until you move to change positions. He is really fond of laying his head either on the crook of your neck from behind, the space between your shoulder and neck from in front of you, or having his face resting on your chest. Being closer to your pulse and heartbeat soothe him, makes him acknowledge the fact you’re a human and he’s laying with you.

If he didn’t want to sleep, he would prefer more restrictive cuddling. Something like sitting up with your heads, arms, or legs intertwined.

D • Dreams (Do they sleep well at night? What do their dreams normally consist of?)

I wanna say Noel actually doesn’t sleep that well. He gets sleep yes, but he often wakes up at random times. He’s also a light sleeper.

His dreams don’t usually have visuals to them, he mostly feels the motions of the plot. (Yk how you can feel or sense things in your dreams so you know what’s happening even if it doesn’t look that way? Yeah that’s basically all his dreams as a blur that he can feel but can’t see) Lots of nights the feeling reminds him of the slums of France, but when he wakes up the softness of his sheets always confused him even more. He gets cold a lot of the times in his dreams.

Noel stays relatively still when he sleeps. I don’t see him being a snorer, at most he’d have those wispy snores when he inhales.

E • Elegance (Are they a smooth talker? Do they fluster up and forget how to speak?)

Surprisingly, I’m going to say that Noel is a rather good flirter. Not so much with his body language. His words are also rather plain, just skimming the lines of flirting or not so you get confused when you try to analyze what he means. He doesn’t give much away.

If you know him well enough though, you can tell. He’ll face you when speaking more, and engage in the conversation with a tad bit more banter than normal. Nothing he says ever seems flirty though, but with context you just get the vibes. (Am I making sense rn??) -If you don’t get me then think abt his interaction with Ego before the PXG vs BM match for the vibes ish and how he talks to the other Master Strikers there’s sm banter and shit talking on both sides I’m convinced he’d be a little like that but more lively if he were comfortable with a love interest

If you start off strong flirting or teasing, he doesn’t reciprocate. He might he end up annoying you, questioning whatever you said previously and debunking your taunt and how it’s not actually true or wtv. His calm and confident tone sometimes makes it a tad annoying when this happens. #canttakerizz

His manner of speech is very proper. He sounds well educated, even when he’s being causal. Very good vocabulary usage.

F • Fighting (How do fights happen between the two of you?)

I don’t think there would be loud fights and arguments with Noel. Small squabbles more like it. Normally you and him would talk it out and voice both of your perspectives. Noel would be good at keeping a level head in these situations.

If you were too fired up however, I think he’d wait until you were done yelling and tell you to breathe and think. Think about what y’all can do to fix whatever happened. He never seems to get angry or sad when you yell at him, but it’s never a pleasant situation. And you know him well enough to know he’ll be thinking about it for the next couple of days.

G • Gentle (How gentle are they with you physically and emotionally? Do they consider you in certain situations?)

Noel wouldn’t shy away from simple physical contact with you. Things like his hand on your shoulder, moving you out of the way by placing his hand on your back, your feet brushing up against each other when you sit together to eat. Nothing too much, but enough to feel you.

He tried his best to think of you and your perspective on matters. Things like buying a new fridge, he’d think about how you would like the built in freezer in fridge 1 more than fridge 2. However if fridge 2 was less expensive and there was better drawers, he’d prolly end up buying fridge 2.

H • Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do they receive hugs?)

I think Noel would learn to like hugs, especially if you were a physically affectionate person. At first he was rather stiff and didn’t allow for them to last more than a couple of seconds. Now he’s chill with it, as long as it isn’t over done like a bone crushing hug where the both of your rock from side to side. A simple loose wrap of your arms around his neck or back is good for him. In public, that is. I think he’d accept all types of hugs in private.

He doesn’t shy away from the rougher and physical side of football, and I want to say this translates into his hugs. Even though it doesn’t? Idk I’m thinking about it too much and confusing myself.

You would probably initiate hugs, he never gots hugs when he grew up so he wouldn’t think of giving you one.

I • Intimacy (How serious are they about this relationship? Do they do one night stands or are in the game for marriage?)

Does not do flings or one night stands. He needs to know you first. He needs to have some type of emotional connection to you before anything turns physical.

Most likely would date for marriage. Dating someone takes time and energy, things that could have gone toward his football career (yall he is serious asf abt his career I can smell it off him) so I think he would want an end goal out of it yk? Dating someone just to have some fun or pass the time of life doesn’t seem like Noel. Even if you didn’t want marriage, understanding that you two are the end for each other is all he wants in a serious relationship.

J • Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He doesn’t seem to be someone that would get jealous to me. Noel is such a confident person in his abilities. However, I do think he would be vulnerable to insecurity. Not in your relationship per se, but of what other people could offer you that he couldn’t.

He wouldn’t suspect you of cheating or being unfaithful, but seeing well bred men born into their society standing interacting with you isn’t a comfortable sight for him. He knows you are coming home with him at the end of the day, this soothes the noise.

He might voice these to you, when you two are alone in the privacy of your home.

Perhaps you are making dinner, Noel working through some plays on his computer, he mentions a little, “the man representing the football club we met today, did you like his suit?”

You turn your head around to see him staring at you already, “I don’t recall his suit looking any different than all the other men’s suits I’ve seen before. It was standard, I guess I liked it?”

“It was a part of an old vintage collection, did you know he also owns a fashion brand that has been in his family for generations?”

You purse your lips, “I don’t understand the significance Noel. If anything I liked the one you wore more. It was probably softer anyway if he was wearing something ancient.” You go back to cooking. Noel feels his face and neck heat up. That was all he needed to hear, mumbling a little okay, yn before going back to analyzing.

K • Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His go to is chaste kisses to your forehead. Your hand if the context of the situation calls for it and matches the elegance vibes. Small pecks out in public. He’s prefer to not really kiss in public, he’d never tell you I don’t think but it flusters him too much and he gets to hot under his jacket.

When the two of you get more intimate for the night, Noel doesn’t want to part his lips from you. It gets sloppy, more rough than usual. Something only the two of you can experience with each other. Lip locking with some fingernails grazing along his scalp or muscles is the easiest way to physically get him yearning for you.

Noel likes the soft kisses you give him in the morning when he sleeps in. The way he can feel your lips through his eyebrow wisps or on his pointed nose. It’s alluring touched of heaven to him, something he wants private for himself.

L • Love Languages (What are their love languages?)

Acts of Service and Quality Time.

Noel just does things for you, makes life a little easier with gestures. I alluded to this in the Affection portion. Making sure you have your necessities in any situation is something that Noel just does. Maybe because of his backstory idk.

Noel is surprisingly a rather talkative guy. If he wants to say something, he’ll say it. Especially if he knows you. He doesn’t go out of his way to be brash, but if it applies to the situation he’s probably saying it. He enjoys talking to you about things. Moments where there is a lull in the day for the two of you, where you can talk freely about whatever you want. He likes those.

Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation are next I would think. I’ve said before I believe he finds comfort in physical touch with his lover, and he’s a quiet supporter that can still say what you need to hear while staying true to his own philosophy.

For Gift Giving, I just don’t think he puts that much emphasis or importance to it. Tangible items were never permanent in his early life, so they aren’t his preferred way of expressing himself to others.

M • Memory (what is their favourite memory with you?)

Grr I don’t know. Maybe he doesn’t know either.

Kidding, maybe something gentle. Like you two go to your favorite restaurant for a date. Your smile radiated heat through his body. You glimmer in the warm light of the lamps and candles beautifully. Your hand reaches over the table to where his is resting. Intertwined, you stroke your thumb over the skin of the bad of his hand. It’s comforting, makes everything go quieter and you feel louder. He asks you to repeat what you just said. Maybe he didn’t hear you that well the second time either, but he feels you all too well that it works out. (Idk I don’t like this but it’s wtv)

N • Night (What time do they go to bed at night? How easily do they fall asleep? What do they wear to bed?)

I think Noel values his sleep and tries to go to bed as early as he can. Even though he does, he still ends up tired a lot of times throughout the day.

Noel would want to be comfortable when he sleeps, generally wearing a t shirt and pants. If it’s a little too cold he throws on a hoodie. He isn’t fond of waking up in a cold sweat though, which has happened to him a number of times,

O • Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Noel is rather guarded, but he also doesn’t hide certain things about himself. We’ve seen him open up about his connection to Ego to Isagi, a kid he’s only known for a couple weeks.

Once he gets comfortable and your relationship is at that stage, he’d tell you a little bit about himself and his interests. His upbringing though, is a tad different. He doesn’t like thinking of it that much. It in dignifies him in a way. Especially the rougher times, the one that manifest into his dreams. I’m not sure he would ever really tell you everything, unless you have been together for a very, very long time.

P • Patience (How easily angered are they? How slow did y’all take your relationship?)

Noel is patient. Even when someone annoys him or angers him, he is never loud and violent with it. He knows how to be firm and unwavering. He also knows how not to be overbearing and cruel.

Your relationship would be slow and steady. Things happen in time. If he is serious, there is no need to rush something that will stay with the two of you for the rest of your lives.

Q • Quirks (What are little things they do that only those closest to them would know about?)

Noel cloud watches. He thinks of all the different things he can imagine from the blobs of fluffy white in the sky. All the different possibilities that all seem so far away.

Noel’s eyebrows are already thin and wispy, and their pale color doesn’t help them stand out. But when he takes his eyeliner off, it’s as though he shaved his eyebrows. The contrast from black to white made them more prominent if that makes sense.

Noel is ambidextrous with his legs, but he has a hard time writing with his left hand. He didn’t know of his ambidextrous nature until a little late into his teenage years, every time he would practice writing he always did it with his right hand as that what most people did around him. He can write legibly with both hands, but his right hand is much more defined.

R • Resentment (Who or what do they hate? Why?)

I think Noel would hate being a nobody. That’s who he was in the slums of France. He made himself into the best football striker in the world. He always says that second place and below aren’t remembered and don’t have the same worth as first place. As the truest of victories. He wants to leave his mark on the world. Second place and below don’t make marks on the world.

I don’t really think he needs strangers to love him, or know him personally, but he needs their attention. He needs their respect. He needs to belong with the best and be the best of the best. He earned it and he defends his title vigorously.

S • Scared (What are some fears they have?)

Bro what if he was scared of the dark? Or at least doesn’t like being in total darkness? 

I think realistically Noel would have some fear of being poor, not having enough financial resources to provide. Provide food, water, clothing.

T • Tough (What do they think makes them tough?)

Noel’s tenacity makes him tough. His hunger to be the best. The drive he has inside of him. Even on the days where his body is sore and his movements are slower than they should be and the noise gets too loud in his mind, his motivation burns that much brighter. The break the next challenge, to do something damn good with himself.

U • Unity (How well do they work with others?)

Honestly, Noel isn’t the biggest team player. He does work with people, but it’s literally canon if he wasn’t leading he would follow the person with the most solid rationality and the highest possibility of success, right. He still does work with others though, but he called efficiency over comfort a lot of the time.

V • Valuables (Do they think objects are valuable? Companionship? Words? What do they hold close to their heart?)

Actions hold the most importance to Noel. If you say you’re going to do xyz, Noel would expect you to do xyz. Proving your credibility by matching your actions to your morals and words is important to him.

Noel likes words. Being able to articulate your thoughts and wants. That is something he thinks every adult should be able to do without trouble, no matter the context of the conversation or situation.

Objects don’t hold as much significance. He’ll value something he has been gifted and set it somewhere in his home, but it just sits there. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate it.

W • Wildcard

Sometimes when Noel wears slides he won’t pick his feet up enough and kick just a tad too hard and bam! His slide is flying across the room a couple feet ahead of him. It stuns him for a second, not believing he did that.

Noel worked hard in academics when given the chance. He likes being educated.

(idk)

X • X-Ray (What do they look like without clothing? What is their body type? How much muscle do they have?)

Noel is a sturdy and firm guy.

He doesn’t have abs, he has a healthy layer of chub on top of them. Think Chris Pratt, but not when he was shredded for Guardians of the Galaxy but like the second or third Guardians of the Galaxy yk. Healthy and yummy.

He has thick thighs, canon.

His arms are very comforting when they are wrapped around you.

He has that V taper body but not as drastic as say, a swimmer would have. Wider shoulders, skinnier waste. Dorito shape, but it’s only truly noticeable if you’re looking at him from the back.

Y • Yearning (How do they deal with their feelings when they miss you?)

When he gets the time, Noel would call you. Your voice is good for him.

He thinks a lot, thinks about what you were wearing the last time he saw you, what your hair looked like, what time of day it was. Thinks about your favorites, your least favorites, things you have in common.

Z • Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Noel doesn’t like natural light pouring in when he’s sleeping, but he likes a small lamp on.

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Mwah 😽

Oliver Aiku has a droopy eyelid.

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This is just a headcanon, but it makes so much sense for me. I’ll attach a pic at the end, but he pulls that face one too many times so I’m calling it.

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It’s always his left green eye too. Whenever he relaxes his face or is preoccupied with something, that eyelid of his gradually begins to lower into being half open. (Sometimes it makes me feel as though he got one identical eye from both parents, shape and color included.)

Oliver wasn’t aware of his droopy eye as it wasn’t entirely noticeable until his former junior high coach brought it to his attention.

“Now son, I don’t think it’s affecting your performance on the field. You’re still our best defender and have an innate talent for dropping advances from your opponents,” His coach started off, “I just think it might be best to let your parents know in case this will become something of a problem later on.”

Pfft, it’s not like he was infected with a disease. Oliver did ask his mother about it, and she claimed she had always known about his little droopy eye tendencies. However, it never caused harm so what was the reason to point it out? Oliver then brought it up to his friends the next time he saw them. They looked at his face and all shared a moment of silence.

“Oh, your eyes are opening at different heights. Adds to your aura I guess.” On of them said simply. And that was that.

You, his current fling (though he told you yall were serious, don’t believe this hoe of a man) a few years later, however, find his eyes captivating. Always one to compliment on their different colors, Oliver noticed how much you adored his droopy eye too.

It did lead to some cute moments though.

Like that one time he was watching a play back of his latest soccer game on his phone when you came waltzing through the door to his room. Oliver mumbled out a small, “hey, baby.” In acknowledgement. His eyes never left the screen. You sat down in front of him and took in his features, noting his eyes.

“Your eyes make it seem as though you’re tired, but the rest of your face looks as intense as ever.” You chuckle. Oliver snapped up to look at you, confusion doting his features. Ah, the eye, he assumed.

A slanted smirk that matched his scraggly beard made itself known before he spoke, “You make it seem as though you’re not my favorite thing to look at.” You roll your eyes before advancing upon his lap to give him a soft kiss.

Your favorite memory of his face though, and the primary reason why you like his eyes so much, is because it adds so much character to his face at the wrong time.

It was a semi-formal ceremony for Japan’s U-20 team before the start of the season. Oliver stood a little ways away from you, his personal invite, calmly surveying the team. Before you could make your way over to be by his side once more, a commotion broke out on the other side of the room.

Sendou voice could be heard along with the shriek of a lady. Squinting, you could see a young woman-probably some upstarting model-wearing a gorgeous grey dress with a splash of purple running from her chest to her lower abdomen. Sendou was cowering beside her, with one hand in his hair and the other holding an empty cup.

Oh. Just as the realization of what had occurred hit you, the damsel strutted through the exit with great fervor . Sendou stood frozen as though he was bit by a poisonous snake. You grimaced at the sight. You turn to your right, and a pair of blue and green eyes meet your gaze. You take a moment, then start chuckling. A chuckle turns into a laugh, and you have to hide your mouth behind your hands while Oliver makes his way over to you.

“Might I ask what’s so funny lil miss? Poor Sendou over there just ruined the mood, that chick’s dress, and his shot at getting laid tonight.” Oliver inquired with faux malice lining his voice, a playful grinning coming on.

“Your face.” You huff out. He blinks at you. Huh? He looks the same as when you first turned to him. A look of confusion and boyish charm is all that stands before you. Totally did not match the vibe, well at least before Sendou ruined it.

Seriously who wouldn’t find this cute face a little silly

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7.29.24

My unloyal hubby smh

The Hot French Men Trinity

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France’s only redeemable quality is these three

Noel Noa Relationship Headcanons (SFW/NSFW)

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A/N: This is my first time writing nsfw so if it’s a little stagnant and doesn’t flow as well as it should…don’t look at me..also to the Anon that requested this I apologize for taking like 2 weeks to post this life is rlly busy for me right now lol

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SFW

Before y’all began your relationship Noel didn’t have much interest in you. He was fully dedicated to his football career and wasn’t much fond of distractions like romance. You had to approach him, and learn to advance upon your fancy for him on his own terms.

Noel hasn’t explicitly said it yet, but unless you make his coffee for him, he takes it black. When you make it for him or ask him what he wants put in it, that’s the only time he drinks coffee with sugars and creamers.

Noel isn’t a fan of PDA. The most he is willing to give in public environments is hand holding and the occasional hug. He’s more partial to soft, chaste brushes against each other: you patting his chest when you walk away from him after a conversation, rubbing your hand against his to bring some warmth back into the both of you when you two are out in the cold, him resting his hand on your shoulder when he passes you. He prefers your presence near him instead. Standing by each other, sitting next to each other, being in the same vicinity as him but not exactly physically entwined is more professional to him. He won’t turn down a kiss though, a small one to his face or lips. The more intimate ones he saves for private moments because of how flustered it can make him.

Noel would rather wake up with you, but his training schedule often doesn’t allow it (unless you wanna wake up at 5am with him.) Everything is so quiet when he wakes up entangled in your embrace. The sky looks brighter and more within his reach. The roar of transportation vehicles dull and fade away, his heartbeat is more steady and clear in his chest.

When you two are in private together, Noel generally is able to feel you in some way. Your feet brushing each other, your shoulder resting against his, his hand fiddling with the ends of your hair. At first when he noticed he did this, he stopped and was very mindful of your space until you commented on it. Now he doesn’t try to restrain himself.

Noel doesn’t think of himself as cuddly, and would deny it if you ever said he was. He does like cuddles though. He prefers to call it ‘warming the bed.’ When Noel comes home from a meeting he had with his football team, he greets you then sheds his jacket silently while walking to your bedroom. He calls, “Would you like to warm the bed with me?” With a lift in his voice at the end of his question. Your cheeks begin to heat as you bite back a smile and follow him.

Noel would be very good at handling emotional outbursts, but he doesn’t like to be around you once you calm down for a time. Due to his pragmatic nature, he is able to make you take deep breaths and clear the fog clouding your mind away. Once Noel is sure you’re okay, he would leave and give you space. He doesn’t like being exposed to such raw emotion in ways like this, especially if it’s negative. That isn’t to say he is not supportive, but he does well to distance himself until he thinks you can easily think logically again.

Noel doesn’t admit it, but he has a hard time apologizing to you after an argument. Noel’s a sore loser in his own nonchalant way. He’s also a sore winner, but a much worse loser. He fights himself for a good couple minutes before he slips a sigh and follows with “You’re right. The next episode of Bridgerton is going to release tomorrow, not on the weekend.” You nudge him. “I apologize for doubting you.”

The noise, if there is any, in Noel’s head clears instantly when he hears your voice. It’s like a sharp force that cuts through water and grabs a hold of him and keeps him from drowning. He also visibly relaxes when you press your thumbs through and pet his eyebrow hairs.

Noel tries not to show it, but he gets more determined to perform well when you attend his games. It adds just a little more pressure into him to do well. He likes it. He also doesn’t like it. But he probably likes it more than he dislikes it. You look so perfect in the stands watching him, he knows he needs to be as perfect for you.

NSFW

Noel is more partial to being a giver. He is fond of giving you pleasure and seeing you enjoy the most vulnerable and intimate activities just because of him. It makes his pride grow, his balls too.

Noel prefers positions where he can see your face. He wants to know if you are reacting positively to what he is doing or not. That look in your eye, that hitch in your breath, the furrow of your brows looks ethereal to him. Missionary is something special to him, he feels love in this position. The way your hands cradle his head and shoulders, the way he presses his face into your neck so he can close his eyes and focus on your moans and how good he is feeling. The way your legs will tighten around his waist or legs, your pussy around his dick too.

Noel also enjoys you riding him. You on top of him moving up and down or side to side make his head foggy. If you tease him in this position he burns red with arousal and partial embarrassment all the way from his face to his arms. Give your tits a good squeeze, roll your nipples a couple times in his face, grab his hand and press it to a part of your body and tell him to grab at you- its all his. He needs to close his eyes just to hold back the wave of pleasure this gives him.

Noel is more on the quiet side during acts of intimacy. He has his fair share of gasps and grunts. He moans when he gets close to cumming, he starts saying your name too. Soft and sacred, the way he lets out your name is whispered so good into your ear. Noel likes it when you’re vocal, not over the top though. No one else should be hearing you, especially if they aren’t in the room with you too (no threesomes w this man, he ain’t freaky like that.) If you’re groaning and moaning loudly every thrust about ‘how good it is’ and how ‘he’s so big I’m gonna cum I’m gonna cum-.’ Noel can lose sight of the pleasure. He might also think you’re faking it too, which would ruin his trust in you during sex forever. More natural gasps and moans set the mood, for both of you. He does do a surprising amount of dirty talk, more than you would expect, but it’s still rather vanilla (bros vanilla). He gets off to you dirty talking to him and coaxing him to cum rather quickly.

Noel didn’t have any experience before you, he dates to marry and doesn’t see value in one night stands. You taught him all he knows. If he were to go to another woman they probably wouldn’t get off like you would, he was taught how to pleasure only one other person: you. Noel is probably better with his hands than his mouth. His ambidexterity is useful here too, he’s able to recreate the same motions at the same speed with all his fingers on both hands. When he uses his mouth Noel can get unusually impatient and focus on your flit when he finds it. If he uses his mouth he generally uses his hands if they’re free at the same time. If they aren’t free they’re holding your thighs, hips, or tits.

Noel doesn’t enjoy quickies. He doesn’t like the risk, thinks it’s stupid. He doesn’t like how there isn’t enough time to fully pleasure either of you. He doesn’t like how hot and bothered you are after and have to enter a public space so soon.!He sees no point in them when you think about the circumstances you put yourself in when you have one.

Noel likes to be intimate with you during the night, if he could. When you both are together from a long day of work, he likes to release his stress through these acts with you. He calls it sex to anyone’s face when talking about sex (he doesn’t talk about your sex life to others, he keeps it private) but he refers to it as love making with you. “I want to make love with you, we haven’t been together for long enough.” Noel would coax from behind you as you brush your teeth.

Noel keeps his shit wrapped, ain’t no accidental pregnancy on his watch. (practice safe sex yall kids suck) He also doesn’t have a high sex drive, meaning that you’re usually the one to initiate it. He does like having sex when y’all reunite after awhile apart. There isn’t any logic to it, but you feel the same so he doesn’t question it.

When Noel receives head he would rather be sitting than standing. He won’t hold eye contact with you either. If he sees your irises looking up at him, the bottom half of your face gone as his dick replaces it, he’s an instant goner. If you rub your face on it, if you suck his ball sac, he’s a goner. He likes being sucked off, but often doesn’t request it. He would hold your hair back if you needed it, but that’s really just so he can remove you from his dick if he gets too close before he wants to (but he wouldn’t tell you that.) He feels all mushy inside when you run your hands over his thighs and kiss up his length.

Noel doesn’t have any hard kinks. He is willing to try some stuff out with you if they aren’t too hardcore, but generally doesn’t go for that type of stuff. He can definitely bully you with his size and shove you around if you want. He will use his strength to his advantage against you and be a little rough, he’s fine with that. He doesn’t like hard core spanks or slaps. No handcuffs of bondage.

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This biscuit is just for you, mwah 😽

9.29.24

Master Striker Kisses

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Julian Loki kisses you innocently. His kisses start out chaste, with smiles breaking upon both of y’all’s faces as you part. His kisses don’t last long, but they en capture the bliss of young love within every second.

Edit: hell no I could do sm better especially with Loki getting more coverage in the later chapters yall buckle up

Julian Loki kisses you fervently more than anything. It always starts sweeter, more innocent with smiles from the two of you constantly breaking his advances. However once he’s gotten serious about this make out session with you his kisses change from chaste to intense. They’re more fast than anything (fast pecs, fast tongue action ykwim), like a barrage of his lips against your own- they leave you worked up and chasing after him

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Lavinho kisses you passionately. This man puts his whole soul into his kisses, and you feel it too. They are hot, they are heavy, they are addicting. He always melds his mouth with yours and makes you want more as he pulls away to kiss along your jaw.

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Marc Snuffy kisses you tentatively. He is focused, he is analyzing how you’re reacting to his approach. Snuffy ends up kissing the side of your mouth as he tilts his head to make room for his nose more often than not. (It became y’all’s thing as a go-to quick goodbye gesture.)

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Chris Prince kisses you with vigor. He’s excited and commonly ends up breaking your kisses by smiling too much. He has a tendency to get lost in your make out sessions, quickly escalating the moment if you allow it to much more than smooches and caresses. He loves lip locking with you while you play with his hair.

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Noel Noa kisses you reverently. He doesn’t kiss you much in public, but in the depths of y’all’s home he locks his lips with yours in sacred solace. It’s sweet, it’s private, it’s familiar and juvenile. He found a way to bring comfort through his kisses; both to you and himself.

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This biscuit is just for you, mwah 😽

¡Shidou’s hcs and character analysis!

tw// childhood trauma, violence, reference to possible SA in his past, my writing cause I didn’t proffered this

PHYSICAL TOUCH!! Friends, lovers or even just acquaintances, he has the bad habit of seeking touch, small or big doesn’t matter. From shoving to fidgeting. It’s different obviously base on the relationship you have with him. Are you two friends? Expect playful shoves, ruffling each other’s hair, if sat together legs or shoulders will touch casually. He is the type of person to laugh and slap your shoulder while laughing. 

If you two are lovers: hand holding (he does that thing of rubbing his thumb on the back of your hand), kisses, hair ruffling, legs intertwined, hugs from the back, nibbling/biting. Pressing his forehead against yours. SQUEEZES. Especially if you have more fat on you, he would *love* it. The need to hold you close and squish your rolls or chub. 

I personally see him as unlabelled. I know a lot like to hc him as gay. And it does make sense, but one can flirt with guys and it doesn’t erase the possibility of being into women too. That said, I do believe he has a preference for guys, especially aesthetically, but ultimately his choice of a partner would be base on mental compatibility and aesthetic attraction, no gender. I feel he is into someone who truly enjoys being their true self and doesn’t conform to society norms, more on this in a sec.

He is complex, as we see glimpses of this in the “egoist bible” and during his internal dialogue (like in the U20 arc). I don’t think he would be a bad boyfriend, but neither would he be perfect. Objectively speaking, he does have a rough, almost explosive side. But that’s a side he brings onto the football field. How he is outside of football we don’t really know. He is shown to be someone who values uniques, and also strength, complimenting other players strengths. He is not a demon, he just so happens to be a human with a deep complex personality. He seems to value peace in his life outside of football, which is something you don’t expect from him. Because he gets presented as this brute individual and yet he is the same who pops out this answers: “What made you cry recently?” At the end of the day when I become nothing, tears come out.

“What will you do on your last day on earth” Watch it as it reaches its end

“How would you spend your day off?” Be free from everything and become nothing

His answers are, intense, are they not? Which leads me to several thoughts. 1) He is very lonely. Using humour and anger to defend himself, a common trait of children who were abused, neglected in their childhood.

2) base on this, I feel in a relationship he would enjoy someone who has similar vibes to him but ultimately is different. Someone he can be chaotic with, someone he can laugh as loud as he wants, someone with who he can gossip and still have deep conversations at the same time. Ultimately, an artistic partner would be the best. Not only because he is into art, mostly as a way to cool down and shut down his brain, but because an artist or even a writer can see the world under different shades of colours rather than in greyscale. Classical introverted x extrovert duo, with the exception that the introvert individual becomes as extrovert as him when they are alone. His partner is his ancor. He will need to feel at peace from the turmoil inside of him. 

3)his home life was not the happy kind. Now, this has been long speculated and I will give my 50 cents on the matter. Let’s analyse his favourite movie, manga and song: 

Music > hide. Especially "Pink Spider" 

Movie > "A Clockwork Orange" 

Manga > "Chainsawman"

On the base line all three explore the darker sides of humanity, the need for personal freedom, and the consequences of defying societal norms. They create a raw and intense narrative about self-destruction, survival, and transformation.

But if we dive deeper > the movie mainly depicts SA, it’s a twist mix of violence, societal injustices and lack of free will… “Chainsaw man” it’s all about violence, power imbalance and manipulation. Denji was a tool from the start to end (again, lack of free will). The song, explored themes of internal chaos, the darkness in humanity, destruction and emotional turbulence and the psychological tool that that violence and abuse leaves on people.  I mean… can it be any more obvious? His whole character is shown to be this brute, rude, violent individual but slowly we are being feed details into his insight. Like how deeply philosophical he is, artistic and yet he is genuinely over sexualised. Maybe is a reach, but I don’t think that movie, the song and the manga choice are casual. They are a mirror image into the possibility that his childhood was pretty much terrible. That his sexual comments, which come off as almost distasteful, and feel icky in a way, are a projection of what he went through. Trying to use a distorted sense of humour and the violence he grew up with, to shield himself from what’s his personal life and past.

Like when he was locked up, his reaction was intense. He was close to begging to be set free. Again— lack of freedom, he hates not being able to be free. Something could have been taken away from him in the past. Maybe is as simple as a culture thing— as we know Japan is a rather modest country with certain unspoken rules. Its traditional outlook on things such as gender and sexuality are the total opposite of Shidou’s persona. His appearance is loud, his personality is loud and it alls screams “look at me I’m here” and yet at the end of the day he is still a lonely being.

I recently reread the U20 chapter where he enters on the field. His inner monologue he uses biology (specifically fertilization) as an analogy to scoring. Many people interpret it as him making a connection to sex, but for me, it didn’t read as such. Maybe it’s my literature student nerd ass, but, I took from his inner monologue a sense of need in terms of leaving a mark onto this world. He speaks how art leaves a mark, so does books, buildings and obviously children, showing the family legacy. Proof that something existed before them.

Shidou feels that his legacy, his needs, are validated through scoring. He feels seen, people are cheering. He is leaving a mark. Which ultimately could be validating a lack of emotional attention he received when he was a child. To me, all of these references and the constant sexual innuendos are a meaning for something deeper. We saw how each character with a heavy backstory has a trait or something in them that screams “something is not right”. Like Rin’s personality being a result of what happened between him and Sae. Can’t think of anything else to add, maybe I will add something later. If you have any opinions, I am more than willing to read them!! Feel free to reblog/comment :))

Noa really gasted all my flabbers.

Before this chapter (278), I knew that he is the World's Best Striker, but after this chapter (278), I can see why he is the World's Best Striker. He is literally him. It's like looking at some kind of genius mastermind of some sort. The "Instead of assisting my teammates to win 1-0, it feels better to pull off a hat trick and lose 3-4" makes so, so much more sense now!

I won't lie, till now, his character did seem pretty bland to me—just some dude established as someone at the top of the game who was, in the end, going to adopt the protagonist in some way and then the sappy ending of student winning over the mentor.

Oh boy was I wrong.

The curveball he just threw at me, hurled me outta this universe. And just like in Loki's case, I feel like a fool once again since I have misunderstood Noa's whole character.

Firstly:

You know how some things just stand out for no reasons at all? Like, it's a trivial thing, but it just keeps on silently scratching the back of your head—the above panel happened to be that exact thing for me. My dumb ahh was really thinking, "Tf they talking about?" when I first saw this panel.

Before this small exchange, Noa was taking about how there are two philosophies in BM—and it depicted Kaiser and Isagi in the opposite of eachother—and this is exactly when, according to me, the whole Kaiser Vs Isagi rivalry's roots got firmly cemented. Yes, I do understand this rivalry started when Kaiser grabbed Isagi by his chin, but hear me out, okay?

You see this thing above?

Yes. Exactly.

We were told that BM's basic principle is Logic and Rationality, and considering Noa's personality, one can assume that Blue Lock-ers in this team would've been coerced into following this motto too, but Noa didn't do remotely anything like that. In fact, in all the other NEL teams, the coaches low-key molded the Blue Lock-ers to their respective mottos whereas Noa remained hands-off throughout everything—one of the main reasons why the majority of the Fandom considered him the worst coach in NEL.

But, well, I used to use this (above) reason to defend him—that he isn't tampering with Blue Lockers' originalities by letting them do things on their own accords just like Ego used to do.

Keyword: I used to.

Because I really don't know what to feel now that I've a whole different perspective in my hands—look at this:

These are Kaiser's words.

Kaiser was, in a way, already competing against Noa in BM, and now Isagi was added into the equation too which made him more hostile. I mean, instead of disregarding the rather, comparatively, un-rational philosophy of the Blue Lock-ers, Noa was accepting it and giving it room to grow! And if this philosophy won, then Kaiser (not in a literal sense) would be wiped off of the team! Further, it also seems like a small jab of, "You think you are the shit? Then prove yourself." which Kaiser was able to sense, and that's why, I think, he asked, "Are you testing me?"

Secondly:

LMFAO LAVINHO'S FACE! THIS IS MY FAV PANEL OF HIM!

I highly admired Noa for never stepping in the field until and unless the opposite team's coach had stepped in. It used to be my favourite argument for defending Noa's coaching ability. And just like my previous point, I can't look at this the same way anymore.

Of course, he isn't wrong—the coaches stepping in definitely throws off the balance in the field. But, well, if the power dynamics shift too abruptly and too much, it would tip off Kaiser and that'd ruin Noa's plan for the NEL—it would also tip off Isagi which would also ruin Noa's plan for the NEL.

So, in short and straightforward words, he always stepped in the field for the sake of himself and not for the sake of younger players in his team.

Thirdly:

This convo happened after Shidou's goal—PxG's first goal in their match with BM.

Right after these words left Loki's mouth, Noa went out to make changes in the positions of BM—he went out to suggest things and all just like an actual coach would do. And though this panel stood out to me in an odd way, I also remember finding it so damn hilarious for him, seemingly, being threatened by a mere 17 year old—I was actually going to make fun of him for this when this chapter (253) came out, but then I guess I chose to do otherwise.

I think it's because before this chapter (253) dropped, I was going to make a wholesome post about the possible relation between Noa and Loki since they are from the same national team—some kind of Father-Son relation. But then the I saw their convo and felt embarrassed, and probably decided to not talk about them till more of their story got revealed.

Now their convo makes a lot of sense in a different way.

And lastly:

I remember being caught so off guard by this. Like, till that point, Noa had never ever talked regarding Kaiser in such a way—it nearly felt as if he were rooting for him, and I found it so sweet that I even included it here.

But now that we have a bigger picture, it doesn't seem that much sweet to me anymore.

I can't understand how I dismissed his poker face in the (above) panel as simply his usual emotionless self when it clearly looks like he isn't surprised at all—like he knew what was unfolding in front of him beforehand, like he was expecting it and.. he was quite literally expecting it, didn't he?

All this time I thought that Loki was the sneakiest about his personal goals in NEL meanwhile Noa was two steps ahead from the start.