Self-harm, Attempted Force Vomiting Trigger Warning!

Trigger warning: Mental breakdown, self-harm, attempt of force vomiting.

If you're suffering from self-harm, please seek help immediately or talk to someone.

"Mountains.... why...?" Alexa groans as she puts one foot forward.

"Hills.... WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME!?" Alexa yelled at the sky.

Alexa has traveled a long way. Alexa hated traveling up mountains. Alexa didn't mind walking for a long time, but she still hates mountains and anything uphill. Alexa had already used up some of the herbs that she was given to patch up some cuts or some bruises. Some of these bandits and the scorpions had really done damage. Alexa wonders what Ancient she will meet next. Alexa knew that trying to take the Soul Jams. Remembering that taking Soul Jams is useless. Saint Vanilla seems to have burning magic? Dragonberry is just fucking strong no matter what. Cacao is... Alexa didn't want to disrespect him after he let her stay. The only ones left are Golden Cheese and White Lily. If Alexa's theory is correct, White Lily might be the easiest. Alexa wanted to take at least White Lily Soul Jam to gain some more power to either find a way home or gain powers for defense. Alexa took the time to rest after traveling. Alexa looks up at the stars. They remind her of home. Alexa wonders... if she will be stuck here forever. Alexa still has a life... she doesn't even have magic or any special power like every cookie else to probably survive. Alexa is surprised she is still alive. Sure, she went to the store alone, walked alone with her dog at night with at least a weapon in case, but she at least had someone close with her... her aunt... her grandparents... her family... and yet... she is alone. Alexa rolls to her side and goes to bed for the night after weeks of traveling.

Alexa wakes up the next day. Alexa puts out the fire and heads off for the day. Alexa walks for a long time. After more battles with scorpions and other bandits, she reaches a small little kingdom or a little town. Alexa slowly walks inside the kingdom.

Walking into the city felt nostalgic. The feeling is odd to Alexa, but she didn't mind it as she started to look for an inn. Alexa was wary of trusting others a bit. Being the last kingdom, she wasn't going to trust cookies who were close to the ancient heroes. The city looks like a mixture of the Axiom from Wall-e but less technology and a bit more keeping its look based on the environment.

Alexa looked for an inn. But exploring wouldn't hurt right...? No, her feet hurt. But she was so hungry. Alexa kept wandering around, not paying attention. Alexa kept walking until she bumped into someone.

"Oh, sorry- I wasn't paying attention." Alexa slowly looks up and her eyes widen.

"Oh! Dear you, ok? Oh! You look like me!" A voice that sounded a bit too familiar.

Alexa looked up and saw Golden Cheese cookie. Alexa looked up in shock. Alexa wanted to back away from her. Alexa wanted to run. She wanted to fight her. But after dealing with all the other Ancients, she doesn't know if their powers are the same. Alexa did her best not to look scared.

"Oh dear, do you not look alright? You look a bit more pale." Golden Cheese cookie spoke softly.

"Oh- oh um... y... yeah... I... I haven't... I haven't... eaten yet and-" Alexa was cut off.

"Oh! We can't have that! Come on! We can get lunch!" Golden Cheese cookie yelled out and grabbed Alexa's hand.

"Ah- my queen! We have things-!" One of the Golden Cheese servants tried to convince her to stop.

"Ah~ nonsense, it's just a quick lunch break." Golden cheese cookie responded back.

Alexa was dragged into a small restaurant. The people greeted Golden Cheese, but they called her "Celestial Cheese Cookie." Alexa decided to note that later. Celestial Cheese got a booth. Alexa was very nervous. She didn't know if she would survive this one. Is Alexa's theory correct about Golden Cheese being fucking delusional? Alexa doesn't know if she should try and steal her soul jam. Alexa looks down at the food. Alexa only ate the fruit. Alexa didn't like a lot of cheese due to her lactose intolerance. Alexa looked up at Celestial Cheese. She was just talking about her kingdom, talking about how she would grow her kingdom and how she would expand. Alexa didn't engage back and only nodded at the queen's words. Alexa ate and Celestial Cheese left, paying for each other's food. Alexa left the restaurant and started to do her task at hand and find an inn. Alexa had a bit of a chance to walk around but came across a small street vendor. They had small but pretty gold pocket knives, some did look similar to the ones her dad used to own. Alexa looked through her bag to see if she had something, but she found a small pouch of coins with a note.

"Thought you might need this! -Hershey Cookie".

Alexa smiled and bought the knife before going back to look for an inn. Alexa found a cheap but good enough inn. Alexa went into an inn and paid for a room for 1 week and a half. Alexa was worried that people from the Hollyberry kingdom might be after her just in case someone ratted her out while on a trip. Alexa got into her new room at the inn.

The room was ok and nice. One bed, a desk, a nice tv, and a soft carpet against Alexa's feet. Alexa put her stuff down and decided to go through the room. The room had snacks on the table, with a charger's outlet. There was a mini fridge under the desk. The tv was above a big drawer like every hotel. Going through the drawers, there was nothing but some books. There was a pamphlet for... "The Flowers that Grow in the Garden of the Vanilla Kingdom." Alexa's mind immediately went to Saint Vanilla.

"Who knew that Saint Vanilla had a pamphlet for his kingdom... then again, he did try to "Heal" me. Never thought it would be like Cult of the Lamb..." Alexa mumbled to herself.

Continuing looking around, there were slippers, more food, a telephone, a closet with an ironing board, a bathroom fully furnished like... damm... is this inn trying to make me stay here or what?! Staying in this Inn for less than a week and a half seems like an insult! Alexa sat on her bed and took a look at her feet. It was covered in many injuries...

From the freezing snow...

From the sudden wet floors of the beach...

From the burning hot sand...

From those stupid bandits that she had to kick...

Just from the touch pains her...

Alexa is surprised she hadn't fallen over and just died...

Alexa grabbed her bag and dumped everything out, and grabbed the instructions to ease some of the pain.

"Mix..."

"Mix..."

"Dump..."

"Put it over a fire. If not, heat it till it boils..."

"Wait"

Alexa gets a sudden knock at her door. Alexa slowly gets up and heads over to see who it is. It was a small Cheese Bird giving Alexa a small device to something. Alexa nods and thanks the bird before closing the door. Alexa goes back and sits down on the bed to look at the small device. Grabbing the small bowl of mixture and setting it down to cool. Alexa looks at the device and presses a small button on the top, which triggered something that made Alexa jump. A loud voice interjected, and a screen popped up of a cookie with cat ears. Alexa remembers that it was one of the NPCs from the Golden Cheese chapter.

"WE INVITE YOU TO A LOCAL, DAILY FRIDAY PARTY! 9PM AT THE CENTRAL CAPITAL! GO DOWN TO THE LEFT FROM THE INN AND THEN GO STRAIGHT AND THEN HEAD DOWN TO THE BEAMING LIGHTS! DRESS UP! EVERYONE WILL BE GIVEN IN THE CLOSET OF THEIR HOMES! DON'T WORRY ITS ALL CUSTOMIZABLE! SO BE PROUD OF WHAT YOU WEAR!"

Then, the screen went back into the device. Alexa just stayed in place for a bit before she snapped out of her own transe. Alexa didn't say anything. She just put the device down and grabbed the now warm bowl and rubbed mixture on her feet and just lay down to sleep.

Day 1, Alexa stays in bed and gets herself the rest she needs after sleepless nights and screwing her own sleep schedule just so she won't be killed in the middle of the night! The shows seemed normal. There was a Wheel of Fortune, some guess who game, some movies, normal hotel stuff. Alexa just slept for the whole day until she woke herself up the next day.

Day 2, Alexa's feet fully healed up and decided to clean out her bag. It was full of dirt, leftover snow that somehow still stayed frozen, there was even some Jam... Alexa shook her head and went down to the laundromat. She put her bag and did a light wash. Alexa saw other cookies around but kept her down, not wanting to talk to others and feeling the awkwardness. Alexa makes it back up to her room and puts her things back inside, throwing some trash away. Alexa just spent the rest of her day lying in bed and sleeping.

Day 3, Alexa was laying in bed and watching tv. Her feet were feeling better and not as painful as ever. All the blisters were gone. Alexa just messaged her own foot and did very little for that day. Alexa didn't know if she should get food or not. But, feeling the rumbling of her shoe, she went out for a bit. Alexa walked to the nearest restaurant to the inn and ordered the cheapest option to save on coins. Alexa thought about a job, but only for a day or two? No... No one would hire a kid... She wonders, what is the age requirement to work? How do the Chile Labor laws in Cookie run? Alexa doesn't know anymore... It's been like... a couple of months? Alexa thinks about keeping a diary. Yeah, that's a good idea...

Day 4, tomorrow is the party. Alexa didn't know what to do. Rolling over to her side, Alexa thinks more to herself. Alexa is not used to Egyptian culture, or much culture, even herself. She never dug into her OWN roots. Even if the game just showed at least just its inspiration... if they act in the game, will it be offensive if she showed up in the normal look... Alexa got up and decided to walk around. Alexa grabbed her bag and traveled around the city. There was small pain here and there in her foot, but it was fine enough to ignore the pain. The city was pretty and some technology like from Wall-e on the axiom with gold... and more gold... and more gold. The people seem nice, but then again... so were the people back at the Hollyberry kingdom. Alexa kept her guard up... even though she didn't have to... Alexa found a plain white outfit at a cheap price! Alexa paid and headed back, feeling proud of herself.

Day 5, it was the day of the party. Alexa woke up but went back to sleep, wanting to have some energy for the party. Alexa woke up around 7:30pm. Alexa decided it was time to get ready. Alexa did her best to do her hair but failed miserably... she knew if it was her mom, she would've bugged her about her hair. Alexa continued. She steamed the dress carefully after reading on how to do it. Alexa found something to make her look a bit skinny, but as she put it on, it didn't make much of a difference. Alexa thought it was normal and just kept it on. Alexa finished doing everything and decided it was that her look. Alexa left the inn and headed to the address. Alexa didn't have to look too far as there were really big lights. Alexa went over, got stopped, and then had to hold out an invitation to prove of being invited. Once that was done, Alexa entered inside.

The whole room was a bit dark but still very bright with the lights. It was still very loud. The whole room vibrated with the bass of the music. There were lots of people already here, dancing, or talking to the other cookies. Alexa lowered her head, went over, and got a drink. Alexa was going to pay but was stopped. Alexa looked up and saw Celestial Cheese.

"My dear! You came!" She beamed.

"O-oh oh... um hi ma'am- I mean Cheese! Ye...yeah i came..." Alexa stammered.

"OH! You look so cute! Did you use any brands?" Celestial Cheese asked loudly over the music.

"Uh... no, not really. I don't really know how to do my make-up... my mom used to do it for me for any special events..." Alexa spoke but loud enough for Celestial Cheese to hear.

Celestial Cheese nods before thinking. Celestial Cheese can see the sadness and the uncomfortableness in Alexa's eyes. Celestial Cheese can't have that! All of her guests are supposed to have a grand time!

"How about this dear, I can do your makeup for you!" Celestial Cheese offered.

"I-i um, are you sure? I don't want you to worry i-"

Celestial grabbed Alexa's arm and dragged her somewhere, ignoring Alexa's pleas and her worry. The hallways were long and confusing, and it made Alexa's mind dizzy. They both arrived in some room. There was a beautiful mirror with some make-up on the desk and it was perfectly organized. Celestial Cheese walked Alexa over to a chair and set her down.

"Now, let's start on the-" Celestial didn't finish and was interrupted by a knock.

A small Cheese Bird came in and told Celestial Cheese that she was called to a meeting. Celestial Cheese gave a small glare before calming herself. She thanked the Cheese Bird and asked some of her servants to dress up Alexa a bit. Soon, there were 5 cookies in the room with Alexa. 2 were doing Alexa's hair, while the other 3 were doing Alexa's make-up. They over compliment Alexa, saying how natural her skin was and how natural her long eyelashes are. Alexa felt overwhelmed and blushed heavily. But after a bit, Alexa felt them all back off and looked at Alexa.

Alexa was pulled or dragged back to the party. Alexa was blinded again by the loud music and the lights. Alexa went back to the bar and got herself a soda. Cookies danced, jumped, and moved all over the place. After a bit, Alexa was pulled by another cookie around her age to the dance floor. They both dances together, even though Alexa didn't know any of the moves the cookie did and led her in the dance. Alexa and the cookie were both in the spotlight before letting someone else take in the spotlight. Alexa was sweating and blushing a lot. Alexa said bye to the cookie and a small thanks. Alexa felt her head hurting a bit and a bit dizzy. Alexa decided to go to the bathroom or go back to the make-up room. But Alexa gets lost. Alexa looks around and wanders through the endless halls of the building. The sound of the party was slowly dying down. Alexa sees a light. Alexa, being the stupid girl she is, went over thinking it was the makeup room. But hearing voices, Alexa thought it was something she shouldn't eavesdrop until... she heard his voice...

Alexa peaks inside and begins to listen to the conversation.

"What have you found in the blood? I heard about your rambling and how you found out something in your letter." Saint Vanilla spoke.

"Oh! That girl you met, I found out that her Jam is compatible! Every milliliter of Jam we have of her can combined with all Jam types of creatures! Cake hounds? Yes! Wolf cakes? Yes! And the best of all... Cookie's Jam." Dragonberry spoke with enthusiasm.

Alexa's eyes widened as she listened and watched the conversation. Tears were forming at the corners of Alexa's eyes.

"So what you're saying is that this... random cookie that suddenly appeared out of nowhere with no information, no family history, and no history of any kind, has this special Jam that is compatible with animal and cookie Jam type" And an odd voice spoke from out video from the camera.

"Yes. But after each test, the Jam is also sensitive. If there's too much of another kind of Jam, the girl's Jam will explode!" Dragonberry explains more in depth with excitement.

"If I may interrupt Dragonberry, my dear friend, I actually, her. I have that little cookie. She is right in my kingdom." Celestial Cheese spoke Smugly

"WHAT?! WHEN?!" Dragonberry yelled through the screen.

"Just a couple of days ago. She arrived at my kingdom. She is very happy too! At first, she was planning to leave, but knowing that you need her for your... 'things' I plan to keep her here now." Celestial Cheese brushes off her old friend's anger.

"You better not, I plan to come over there and get her myself." Dragonberry threatens.

"Oh yeah? Are you sure you want that? unless you want to start a war, i suggest that you don't come here while she is here..." Celestial Cheese threatens.

"You- ugh! I'm going offline! Bye!" The sound of beep from Dragonberry call ends.

Alexa couldn't believe it. Her Jam or Blood... is that what those dreams are about? Is that why they keep talking about her blood? Is that why her teeth hurt? Is that why her eyes chained? Was it the potion? No. Not. Celestial Cheese. Alexa thought. No... Alexa thought wrong. Alexa was a stupid child. Alexa thought Celestial Cheese would be different. No... none of them are different. They...

"They are all the fucking same..." Alexa's voice cracks in despair.

Self-harm, attempted force vomiting trigger warning!

Alexa didn't stay. Alexa slowly backed away without breathing before she ran out of the building. Alexa ignored every cookie that tried to ask her wants wrong. Alexa ran all the way back into the inn and into her room. Alexa slammed the door and locked the door. Alexa slid down against the door and started to breathe unevenly. Alexa put her hands on her head to stop this sudden headache, her fingers, fingers digging into her flesh. It's like something is controlling her. Her anger. Alexa couldn't feel it. Alexa started to pull on her hair, her shoulder, and in an attempt to calm down, but how...? Alexa pulled out her pocket knife and started to cut her forearm with all the other cuts. The cuts weren't deep but enough to bleed a little. Alexa didn't stop until she felt her mind feel dizzy. Alexa gets up, stumbles into the bathroom, and leans her head over the sink. Alexa tried to put her fingers in her mouth to vomit, to vomit the blood out her mouth, but her fear of vomit made her stop. Alexa looks down at her red arm, which is bleeding. It itched Alexa's skin to the point she wanted to scratch and never stop until it hit bone. Alexa started to see black spots float around her. Alexa leans against the wall and stumbles to the floor. Her mind went to her mom and wondered how her mom would react. Alexa looked down and wanted to cry out, but... nothing came out and slowly fell into darkness with tears running down her face

Alexa wakes up on the bathroom floor. Alexa forced herself to sit up but hissed in pain from her arm. Alexa looks down and sees what she just did. Alexa groans and sat up. Alexa looks at the clock and sees it's only been an hour, she thinks. Alexa grabbed some bandages from her bag and then looked at the instructions on how to bandage an injury. It took a minute, but then wrapped the bandages around her left forearm, her head that covered her right eye once Alexa understood. Alexa takes off her dress and makeup. Alexa can only look at herself before looking at her fingers. They were purple. Alexa knew people would ask questions, but she would just say that got stuck on a cactus and had to pull away! No... no one will believe that. Alexa puts on her normal attire. Alexa just wings it with the lie and heads out. Alexa returns her key to the desk and gives a small nod. As Alexa was headed out of the city, she was stopped.

"Alexa!" A voice called out.

Alexa turns back to see Celestial Cheese flying over to her before just hovering over the air. Alexa looked up at Celestial Cheese. Celestial Cheese gave a small look of concern before she reached out and caressed Alexa's bandaged face.

"My dear... what happened? Did something happen after the party? Please tell me if someone hurts you. I don't want you to leave because of one person-"

"No, no, no... It's fine. I...I just... I just have places to be... and I just fell... Don't worry, your people helped me, " Alexa lied.

"Oh. Well..."

"I do hope you can come back... I promise, if you do come back, I will let my people build you a nice home for you! Free of charge!" Celestial Cheese spoke up before moving her hand away.

Alexa gave a small nod. Alexa said her thanks before walking away from the auto Egyptian like home... home... home...

"Lier... you just need me for your own Greed..."

"A new Flower...?"

Beast ancient au creator: @cuppajj