Sleepy-nights-sleepy-days - * ༘ ➳ Veris! ༉‧₊˚.

i had to cut a knot out of my cat’s fur. for the first time in his life, in the ten years i have known him, he put his teeth on my hand, gently, a warning, telling me i was hurting him but unwilling to let that message sink in. 

i wonder how many people i have hurt worse than my cat hurt me. how many hands were trying to help me that i turned and devoured. i was so angry, so often, bristling with so many tangles that no knife could slit open. people who loved me tried everything and i snarled at them. how hurt i was when they were angry i was acting out of order. i would find out later their anger at my behavior was just because they were scared to death i was going to explode and they’d lose me and it came out looking angry.

i wish i could be like my cat. to warn that i was in pain, gently. to only lash out with the littlest of teeth. to know that sometimes what looks like an attack is actually a sign of love. but i only know claws, and using the fullest force of my venom to hurt others when they never meant to hurt me. i know logically sometimes there’s pain to pull the glass out. but i can’t stop myself from reacting.

this is what we mean when we say “defund the police”

haha

am i real?

post by : @playingonmydsi <3

i just want you to hold me in your arms

just once

Only power you ever held over me was the power of your cowardice. You were scared of being bested by a child, you were scared of not being obeyed, as if non compliance made you lose your dignity; you were scared of my independent mind and creative power, you were threatened by my intelligence and my sense to see reason.

That’s what you attacked in me. That’s what bothered you. And like a most cowardly piece of pathetic goo, you found this was worth resorting to violence over. Boo-hoo, I was smarter than you. Boo-hoo, I was okay with the way I looked. Boo-hoo, I wasn’t your propery. Boo-hoo, I could live without you. Boo-hoo, I didn’t find you worth obeying.

You think violence and torture made you more worthy? It made you unworty of existing. You think terror of you made me respect you? I was filled with nothing but disgust and desire to end you. Because you became nothing to me, unworthy of my attention or care or love, you were not worthy even being stepped over, so you forced it out of me when it was all far from your reach, far from anything you deserved.

You went against nature and justice to tear what you wanted from me, and you will be cursed with that forever. You will never again be worthy of anyone’s love. You have proven that no power belongs to your hands, you are twisted and unnatural and reaching for what isn’t yours. Rot in contempt, you powerless, disgusting rat. Nobody wants your violence.

While hashing out my Late-Borgin Tom design and demeanor I was thinking about horcrux timelines and when he'd made the locket

"Hm. The locket is the one Ron had homoerotic tension with right"

LOCK IN

I have no AU in mind i just like when loving couples are not matching each other's energy at all and think tom being patronizing towards his much younger agonizingly normal boyfriend who he is emotionally dependent on is really, really funny.

what if yall sent me ron-themed hc/asks . . i'll try to be entertaining

now posted!!

Hiii, just dropping by to say I read your Dron snippet and I'm soo looking forward to it, I feel like I already read all their good fics haha!

holy shit my dude this is so sweet 🥹🥹🥹

i can't describe to you the way i shrieked when i saw this, TYSMM for liking my writing AND for being my first ever ask!!!

the dron fic drought (bar dronarry, smut, or both bc ppl rlly like their pwp) is what inspired (read: held me hostage and forced) me to start writing fr 😔 bc i see so much potential for their characters other than their (admittedly very present) sexual chemistry. much philosophical discussions to be had when u're on opposite sides of the (wizarding) ideological spectrum (dw, draco comes fully around, he's actually a sweetheart deep deep deep deep down)

and also, Reveal Thyself anon, don't be shy!! let's be best friends!!! let's braid e/o's hair!!! i don't acc have any dron shipper friends atm, i've been needing to convert all my irl besties by force thru my nonstop infodumping lmao

i was planning on waiting til i've written more chaps to post on ao3, but if you'd prefer me to start releasing what i have rn, totally can do 👍✨

at the risk of sounding patronizing i absolutely looove fanfics that read exactly like, Baby's First Foray into Empathy

yes sweetie, that IS what he'd be feeling in that situation! very, very, very oversimplified and unnauanced, however