A Doubt Arousal

bite the hand - boy genius // seeing red - @/its_not_safe_here on instagram // cop car - mitski // i know the end - phoebe bridgers // unknown // wishbone - richard siken // sylvia plath // gleipner - walter ford // cursedsuggestion

you know that character you love so much? (you know – the one from that movie you always watch when you’re feeling sad the one from that show you’ve seen so many times you can quote the episodes the one from that book or comic you’ve read more times than you can count) think about how much you resonate with them how they’re like a mirror image to the way you see yourself how they empathize with pieces of your soul in ways that a real life human cannot how they feel like a representation of you you see so much of yourself in them and you love them so much so why can’t you love you too?  if you can find it in you  to look past their flaws  and see gold shining in their cracks maybe you can do the same for yourself after all if your favorite character is a reflection of you, and you love them more than words can say maybe its possible for you to love you too

(cc, 2020)

“This is the house that built me and I’m gonna burn it down. This is the river I crawled from and I refuse to drown here. And bless the strippers but fuck the men. And bless the berries but fuck the farm. And bless the daughter but fuck the family. What is a home if not the first place you learn to run from? You’ve got to bite the hand that starves you, and in doing so Praise the place that birthed you. Birthed you fucked up. Birthed you ugly, and interesting, and ready to scream.”

— Courtney Love Prays To Oregon, Clementine von Radics

summertime - my chemical romance / texas rezkinoff - mitski / my boy (twin fantasy) - car seat headrest / a world alone - lorde / the goldfinch - donna tartt / fast car - tracy chapman / once more to see you - mitski / the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us - sufjan stevens / wish you were here - pink floyd

on running away, on waiting, on escaping. on love.

Death by a thousand cuts

Clarice Lispector, tr. by Stefan Tobler, from Água Viva

“Don’t we touch each other just to prove we are still here?”

— Ocean Vuong, from On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous

YOU GOT TO BELIEVE IN POETRY CAUSE EVERYTHING IN THIS LIFE, INCLUDING YOU WILL FAIL YOU.

“My realities may be different from what most people call reality, but still they are realities.”

— Etty Hillesum (1914-1943), in a letter to Osias Kormann, from a Westerbork concentration camp, 1943, in “An Interrupted Life: Diaries and Letters 1941-43. And Letters from Westerbork″

“[One day] […] there will be no one alive who has ever known me. That’s when I will be truly dead–when I exist in no one’s memory. I thought a lot about how someone very old is the last living individual to have known some person or cluster of people. When that person dies, the whole cluster dies, too, vanishes from the living memory. I wonder who that person will be for me. Whose death will make me truly dead?”

— Irvin D. Yalom, from Love’s Executioner and Other Tales of Psychotherapy (Basic Books, 1989)