Not Gonna Lie, I’ve Been Spending Quite A Lot Of Time This Morning Trying To Emulate Lady Whistledown’s

suddenly i’m fifteen again, i have no responsibilities, i’m diving in the blackinnon tag in ao3 and tumblr, that community is active again, life is good.

James Potter & Sirius Black

sorry...

🌟 RANKING REMUS LUPIN’S BEST "WEREWOLF CARD" EXCUSES 🌟

🥉 TIER 3: LOW EFFORT, BUT IT WORKS

5. "I'm experiencing a rare sensitivity to [current weather]."

Used For: Avoiding outdoor activities (changes reason based on conditions)

Effectiveness: 7/10 - Teachers assume it's a chronic condition and stop questioning

4. "My circadian rhythms require recalibration."

Used For: Skipping early morning classes

Effectiveness: 6/10 - McGonagall's eyebrow twitches but she allows it once per lunar cycle

🥈 TIER 2: MEDIUM-EFFORT LIES WITH A STRAIGHT FACE

3. "The moon’s in retrograde." (Not a real thing.)

Used For: Avoiding having to watch Quidditch practices (James buys it; Sirius cackles).

Effectiveness: 8/10 – James panics and asks if he needs chicken soup.

2. "I've developed an unfortunate reaction to [nearby object]." (gestures vaguely)

Used For: Leaving uncomfortable situations

Effectiveness: 8/10 - Works best in potions class where plausible accidents happen

🏆 TIER 1: ABSOLUTE MASTERPIECES OF DECEIT

1. "I'm presently engaged in critical lunar research."

Used For: Leaving any situation with an air of academic importance

Effectiveness: ∞/10 - Works best when said while holding a chocolate bar as if it's research equipment

0. "I’m legally required to lie down." (No such law exists.)

Used For: Everything. Everything.

Effectiveness: ∞/10 – Even McGonagall lets it slide once.

HONORABLE MENTION (THE ONE TIME IT FAILED):

"I can’t, I’m allergic to... this conversation."

Used On: Sirius, who immediately throws a pillow at him.

Verdict: "Try harder, Moony."

walburga would be caught dead before anyone ever accused her of praising a dark lord that turns out to be half-blood. the black family doesn’t have to prove themselves to anyone, they’re already well established in society. anyone knows them and knows what they stand for. sure, they share the ideas voldemort is trying to push into his followers for a new order of the world, but wouldn’t stood so low as to worship him. they’re loyal to themselves and themselves only.

but orion and walburga expected regulus to become a death eater. no they fucking didn’t. they expected, specially after what’s going on with sirius, for him to get an education, find a respectable wife, settle down, produce the next black heir and run the family business (whatever that is). regulus, meanwhile, landed in slytherin during a time all of his house mates, specially older ones, not to mention his own older cousin, are talking and praising the dark lord and how he’s gonna reward those who stand close to him. it’s a youth thing. it’s what everyone in his little bubble wants to become: a high ranking follower. and who could be higher than a black? also everyone is talking about how sirius turned out to be a big disgrace and although for their parents it’s enough with just disowning him, regulus thinks surely if i join the ranks of voldemort i could fix what my idiot brother broke, right? cause also they both think the other one it’s the idiot. the traitor.

later on regulus realizes the dark lord doesn’t care for the blacks and families like his and what they represent. but by then it’s too late and he does what he can before he dies.

I don't think Andromeda's rebellion was loud, like Sirius'. Not really.

I think Andromeda was a Black through and through. Her parent's pride: Slytherin, prefect, first of the class. She followed the rules, and she knew what her name entailed.

Andromeda Black used to scorn at muggleborns, to mumble stray "mudblood"s when the occasion was fit.

That's how her and Teddy first met. He and his Hufflepuff friends tripped with her, her books fell on the floor, just like a meetcute. But Andromeda didn't blush, she didn't feel like the protagonist of a romance movie.

She saw red. This careless Hufflepuffs had ruined her books, there was spilled ink all over her pages, and, worst of all, there wasn't a single pureblood amongst them.

Maybe she had already been having a bad day. Maybe, in any other situation she wouldn't have reacted, she would have been prideful.

But she cursed them out. She let out a long string of slurs that weren't even in use, a "this is what happens when they let fucking impure thieves into our school", etcetera, etcetera.

And she got a book to the face. Square, right in the middle.

Ted Tonks, one of the Hufflepuffs in the group, had grown tired of her racist rant, and had decided to put an end to it. The muggle way.

Hell ensued: Andromeda brought out her wand and started cursing. Ted charged at her with his bare hands (he was trying to prove a point). The rest of the Hufflepuffs scattered.

The teachers didn't take too long before they arrived and separated them, but Andromeda Black already had a black eye, and Ted Tonks had some ugly, bloody gashes where her curses had landed.

And they were forced to do Detention together.

They couldn't stand each other, from that point onwards. Until Andromeda started changing.

I don't think Andromeda's rebellion was loud. I think it was slow. I think she had to unlearn everything her parents had taught her, and I think at first she wasn't willing. But she was, eventually.

And she did change. She became better.

Walburga Black 1974.

i hc walburga disliking the malfoys. the only other family that is socially considered their equals. but she knows how they managed to establish themselves in wizarding society, particularly in regards to money and properties, doing business with dirty muggles.

it wasn’t arranged but there was an understanding that the two families would be brought closer in the form of an union between walburga and abraxas, but she’d rather died before letting that happens.

she does everything in her power to let abraxas know exactly how she feels about him.

in the end, when the blacks and the malfoys finally merged, she felt that narcissa got handed the short end of the stick.

okay so…

queen charlotte = tragic blackinnon backstory

bridgerton = marauders supporting harry’s first season where ginny is presented to society

and meanwhile in the back of my mind marlene mckinnon has been seen leaving the stables early in the morning wearing men’s clothing (how scandalous!)

back to regular business.

not gonna lie, i’ve been spending quite a lot of time this morning trying to emulate lady whistledown’s voice in my head to see if i manage to come up with something

but also i think it would be fun for a bridgerton au where marauders are adults and they’re guiding the new generations through the season. maybe it’s me just wanting for jily to meet ginny though (blackinnon could be turn into something more like queen charlotte, which i’m still not over it)

also, sirius is now known in my head as: most notorious rebel, so thanks anon!

day 15 - if you even need to think twice - blackinnon - @blackinnonfest

marlene was resting over his chest, completely naked except for the sheet with which sirius have covered them both.

he was mindlessly tracing figures with his fingers on her back, mesmerised by the sight of her: cheeks flushed, eyes shining, hair completely tousled as if she just landed on the pitch after flying around on her broom.

sirius knew marlene wasn’t into quidditch for the sport, but for the adrenaline, same as him.

“i think i’m falling in love with you” he whispered, only realizing he said it at loud once he felt marlene tense up on top of him.

he meant it, though.

“i love you” he repeated, louder this time.

marlene got to her knees, wrapping the sheet around her torso, covering herself.

sirius propped himself up on his forearms, looking at her.

“i… wasn’t expecting that” she finally admitted, mouth hang half open, genuine shock in her eyes.

sirius waited, his heart suddenly clenched behind his ribs.

several seconds passed before marlene dared speak again.

“i’m trying to think of the right thing to say here.”

he swallowed hard, trying to hide the fact that just then, marlene had hurt him.

he wouldn’t show it, though.

“if you have to think about it then i guess the answer is pretty obvious. i just wish i hadn’t wasted my time” he blurted out, finally siting himself properly, feet on the carpet on the opposite side of the bed.

“that’s not fair.”

there was a tinge of hurt in marlene’s voice, but that, sirius thought, wasn’t fair. not to him, not after what he just admitted.

“no fair?” he questioned, rising his voice slightly. “what’s fair about the fact that you’d rather believe those stupid rumors going around instead of me? you know who are the girls that say all that shit? the ones i’ve never given the time of day. they’re the ones who need to convince themselves that i’m some sort of ruthless casanova.”

“you say that as if you’re this sort open book, like i have to had you all figured it out by now” she replied, her voice even know.

“like you’re much better!.” he finally turned to watch her. “you’re the one who wanted to keep this under wraps, remember?!” he shouted, pointing at the general direction of the castle with his arm.

marlene was taken aback.

“you’d think the way i treated would clear things up for you. but maybe you weren’t paying attention, what with all the boys you’ve been talking to lately.” it was a low blow, but he didn’t care.

“fuck you, black!” marlene shouted, getting to her feet and rapidly putting on her clothes on.

“right back at you, mckinnon!” he fired back just as she had slammed the door of his room behind her.

seconds later, james came into the room looking bewildered.

“what was that?” he asked while taking in the scene he just entered in.

“nothing that matters” sirius answered, getting to his feet and passing james on his way to the bathroom.