Kids Being Unimpressed With Their Superhero Parents: A Continuing Saga

MURDER NO MAN

RESPECT THIS SACRED LAND

MAKE MORE MUTANTS

(aka the third law of mutants is to fuck: a compilation)

I-

X-Force #9 - “The Moral Jungle” (2020)

written by Benjamin Percy art by Joshua Cassara & Dean White

It begins with taking the stones away from Thanos. Tony smirks, content and proud that he outsmarted his greatest enemy. 

This enemy haunted him for years. He was buried so deep in his subconsciousness, armies he had sent to conquer Earth made Tony feel so small. He felt like he could not control his life, his destiny. The threat that he witnessed during the attack on New York was much larger than anyone could have foreseen , and he knew it. He felt it. He knew it was coming, but no one would listen. He tried to protect his planet and  its people, but none of his attempts payed off. 

In the end, there he was, looking at this monster, knowing his moment has finally come. 

“And I…” he starts saying the very words that made the living legend come to life in the public eye. The words that best described him. Creature in front of him might be inevitable, but he IS Iron Man. He controls his own faith. He is no longer afraid. He is ready. 

Power surge starts flowing through his heart, right across the chest. He pauses for a moment to gather strength for words that are supposed to come. It burns, he feels the energy passing through his whole body. 

“am”, he says breathlessly. He couldn’t have imagined that he would be in this much pain. 

He smirks for the last time, shortly, as he feels he doesn’t have much strength left. Just long enough so Thanos knows he was never good enough to beat a man like him. 

His eyes fill with tears. His pain is immense, he feels the power of the stones is tearing him apart from the inside. Every cell in his body is getting electrocuted. With devastation in his eyes, he accepts what is about to come. Losing Pepper, Morgan, Rhodey, Happy, losing his very essence and life. He is saddened that all he has overcome ends like this. But he always knew he would have a bitter end. 

“Iron Man.” the last act of defiance of great Tony Stark. Great titan being beaten by a man. An ordinary man with no superpowers. Just a mechanic with his intellect. 

He does not give up. 

Snap. 

Me and my sister have wanted to do this forever too, we just don't know how to use computers. Thank you!

i always wanted to do this (x)

i’m not sorry

Well it’s a good thing I can’t die amIright?

Oh my

comedy peaked here

Yo,my dad was on a hike and walked straight into one of these things. It was on his face and everything. My uncle and him took pictures of it afterwards and it looked like it was smiling.

Those things are definitely nightmare fuel dipped in yellow paint.

[Caption start]

*Speaking quickly* So before Halloween I decided to get online and try to look for some abandoned cemeteries.

So I ended up finding one but it was in the middle of the woods so I decided to just plug some coordinates and take a chance. And I found something a helluva lot scary.

As I am walking the path to find this abandoned cemetery, um… *voice getting louder* Hands! Hands! Everywhere!!

By now you’re probably thinking to yourself, easyise, hands don’t just crawl what are you talking about? You would be correct.

Um- SPIDERS! FUCKING SPIDERS! DRACULARACHNIDS THE SIZE OF MY FUCKING HAND!!!

So after pissing myself and driving home, uh- I came home and looked it up on the internet and found exactly what it was I saw.

*Louder voice but not quite yelling* And here it is fam! Uh people like to call ‘em golden silk orb weaver *voice getting louder* but I like to call them NIGHTMARE FUEL DIPPED IN YELLOW FUCKING PAINT.

*Yelling* YOU SEE THE UNHOLY SIZE OF- THERE IS NOTHING AMAZING ABOUT THAT ON YOUR FACE!!

WHAT KIND OF ALIEN VS PREDATOR SCP SATAN SHIT-

IS THAT ONE EATING A FUCKING BIRD?!?!

THIS THING IS LIKE VOLDEMORT FUCKED A DEMAGORGON BUT SURE LET’S PUT IT ON A GREETING CARD!!!

*In a incredulous tone* SATAN DOESN’T EXIST?!?! THEN WHY WAS I MET WITH A FOREST-FUL OF THIS SHIT?

CHECKMATE ATHEISTS!

[Caption End]

Three of these kids look exactly the same. They all have a hat, the same school trip shirt, hunched over a phone with earbuds. I just think it's interesting. I took this lovely picture waiting in line at Disney World on a band trip.

Truly breathtaking

Star Trails By Lincoln Harrison