A Few Days Ago I Was Exploring An Abandoned Mansion And I Found An Overgrown Swimming Pool With Computers

Another One Bites The Dust is one of those songs where you’ve heard it a million times and you know what all the syllables sound like but you have no actual clue what the lyrics are? And then you look it up and it’s just??? This is a song about a man named Steve? Who the fuck is Steve????

you know what? fuck you. *unionizes your salt*

The politician “The harrington commode”

I was walking down a road when I saw a large cougar in someone’s backyard. It was standing on its hind legs, casually leaning on the fence, watching me. Creeped out, I slowly backed away and left. Later on, I went to an Italian restaurant with my dad and saw that same cougar there, apparently working as a chef. He was standing at the counter in a white apron and chef’s hat, cutting vegetables with surprising skill. I ended up not ordering anything.

-hair

-musicianship

-freckles

-dress sense

-handwriting

@yikesman03 @harl3quin18 @arsonissexy

I dont have many mutuals

Hi! Once you get this you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly, then send this to ten of your favorite followers SPREAD POSITIVITY! 💌😘

-Nose

-Hair color

-My taste in music

-My art style

-My taste in books

@trees-to-meet-you @casualchaos777 @redtailcatfish @simplemosquito @doughnutsadventures @moss-eyes @arsonissexy @loveaquariuslove @felix-the-lord-of-mischief @pan-and-poly-pride

I don’t have a lot of ambitions in life but one thing on my bucket list is to marry a cactus

like

I have no intention of getting for real married to anyone, and I really love the desert, so for the last couple years I’ve just been obsessed by the idea of going out into the Arizona desert and doing wedding photos with a saguaro

I’ve done my research on cactus law and cactus safety. I do not intend to touch the cactus. I merely wish to stand by the cactus or photoshop myself near the cactus in a way that heavily implies the cactus to be my spiky green gay husband, so I can hang it in a discreet area of my home and stare at wistfully whenever a guest or family member or whatever talks about settling down. Something I can keep in my wallet at work that I can whip out when people ask about the ring on my finger

Again, I have done the planning. There is a wedding dress in my closet. I have a Pinterest board for this. I have spoken with a potential photographer. I just need to get to Arizona

Wait, what happened on November 5th, 2020?

Floating face down in a blank word document file, while not physically possible, is nevertheless a tangible authorial state.