SJJSJSISJDD WHY IS HE LIKE THAT AND WHY DO I WANT THEM TO BE ENDGAME SO BAD.
DIAAAA!! What do you think of an alternative ending, where Mila and Hwang Sejun ends up together and the members can’t do anything abt it?? And Mila and Sejun r genuinely in love?? Ngl I find Sejun n Mila cute tgt 😭😭
ngl this had me tempted lol like idk why sejun ended up just stealing the spotlight but understandable 👹 anyway!! don’t know for sure if i will do it, but i do have a deleted scene here for any sejunxmila fans out there ✨✨
ılı. 𝒩ow Playing . . . OLDER , Isabel larosa
────────𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗮 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗮 𝗺𝗮𝗻. 𝓯𝓽. hwang sejun 𝔁 mila bai ( 𝖮𝖭𝖤 𝖮𝖥 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖦𝖨𝖱𝖫𝖲 alt end. )
“You know, you could just move in with me.”
Mila was half awake at midnight, wearing nothing but one of Sejun’s dress shirts, and definitely not prepared for his proposition.
“It would save you the time of sneaking out and back into your dorms again,” he continued, brushing away a strand of hair from her face. “And it means I get to see you like this even more.”
Mila felt almost guilty that she even considered the offer. She loved her members too much to be away from them—but maybe that was the perfect reason she could offer to justify why it was a good idea. Seeing her thoughtful expression, Sejun smiled. He kissed her forehead gently (as if he didn’t leave hand-shaped bruises on her hips, or a trail of purple love bites on every inch of her skin the night before).
“You’re getting soft,” Mila pointed out. He had always been somewhat gentle with her—when they weren’t in bed, anyways. But after two months of sneaking around beneath the noses of Dispatch and, in Mila’s case, her fellow members, she supposed that maybe he had grown a fondness for her after all.
“How can I not? Do you know how adorable you are?” he whispered, pecking her on the lips. A boyish grin made its way onto his face when she wrinkled her nose. Anyone would instantly forget that he was, in fact, seven years her senior and a notorious sex icon in the acting industry, whose name was involved in more scandal headlines than all of Enhypen combined. “My cute bunny.”
“Well, this bunny has to go hopping home,” Mila said with a petulant tone.
Sejun quirked an eyebrow. “Leaving already?” He caressed her thighs, stroking the soft skin with his thumb. “Why don’t you stay a little longer, hm? I’ll drive you home later.”
Mila didn’t know if that was a good idea. She had already been here longer than she intended, and if she let him have his way, she would be stumbling into the Enhypen dorms by the time everyone else was awake. But then, what did it matter if she did?
Sejun immediately knew when she had given in. “Good girl.”
Mila blamed her childhood, for the lack of praises from her absent father who left with barely a goodbye, for the way she easily succumbed to the praises of a man who would ruin her further than she already was. But, what could she say? He always knew how to get the best out of her.
synopsis ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 You swore the next time you saw Sunghoon you would cuss him out and turn a cold shoulder. But when he suddenly appears at your apartment door one night, drunk and desperate, you find yourself faltering
now playing ▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||| 0:10 difficult - gracie abrams, anaheim -niki, hope ur okay - olivia rodrigo
warnings ˎˊ˗ cursing, crying, fighting, kissing, mentions of hoon being emotionally unavailable, mentions of breaking up, heavyyyy angst, mentions of alcohol, mentions of being drunk, mentions of children, open ending, use of the word masochist once, pet names
genre ⭑.ᐟ hurt to ??
pairings: non-idol ex!sunghoon x female reader
wc ᵎᵎ 1.28k
thoughts frm yuya 💭 fun fact this was actually based off a convo i had with my ex!!!!!! 😁😁😁 so! hit kinda close to home guys! anyways angst is actually so fun to write i won't even lie...
You had just finished taking a shower when you heard a few gentle and quiet knocks coming from your door, barely audible but loud enough for you to hear them. Hand still intertwined in your wet hair in an attempt to dry it, you peered out the peephole to check who was disturbing you at this hour.
Fuck.
Out of all the people you didn’t want to see, Park Sunghoon was at the top of that list. Yet there he stood, eyes heavy and lidded, hair a mess, and gaze averted on the floor, yet you could tell his eyes were plagued with desperation. And even though you so badly wanted to ignore him standing out there hopelessly, a small part of you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself if you had done that.
Keeping the door ajar you squeezed your head between the gap, his eyes immediately darted to your own. Fuck, you shouldn’t have done this. You knew you shouldn’t have done this because the moment his eyes met yours you felt the all-so-familiar sense of longing overcoming your soul, the sense of longing you’d been trying to fight off for 6 months; all for it to come crashing down on you again. Well, there goes half a year's worth of healing.
“Sunghoon? What are you doing here?”
“YN, I uh- I didn’t think you’d open up…” shit. His breath reeked of alcohol, of course, the only time he’d come to see you would be when he was drunk.
“Are you drunk Sunghoon?” your words lingered with bitterness as they left your tongue
“Just- just a bit…can I come in?” his eyes were still pleading, and that accompanied by the shaking of his voice would’ve been enough to break you. But you refused to let him do that again.
“Sunghoon you’re drunk you really should just go home-” your hands fumbled at the doorknob as you tried to gently shut the door, but Sunghoon was quicker than you it seemed.
“Please,” his hand reaching towards your own, “I’ll be good.” fuck.
You hated how easily you faltered under his words, his gaze, his touch. You hated it so badly, yet you allowed yourself to do so every. single. time.
Begrudgingly you opened the door fully to let him drunkenly stumble in, collapsing at the end of your bed. A scene all too familiar that haunted you in your sleep. You swore you would never let Sunghoon back into your life, that the next time you saw him you would spit insults in his face and stand your ground, yet with one touch of the wrist the defences you raised for yourself seemed to be built upon sand.
Seating yourself at the edge of your bed you allowed yourself to gingerly run your fingers through his hair, you missed this. However, that was all the more reason why you shouldn’t be doing this. Shouldn’t be allowing yourself to hurt again, just at the expense of a few fleeting moments of serenity.
“Why are you here drunk Sunghoon?”
“I,” he propped himself up, allowing him to stare into your glossy eyes, “I don’t really know. I got kinda drunk and- fuck I couldn’t stop thinking about you love.”
Love, fuck you hated how naturally it rolled off his tongue. “Don’t call me that.”
“Sorry…” he mumbled hazily, “Don’t you miss it though?”
You did. “No.”
“Well I do, I miss you YN. I miss all of this, your hugs, your voice, your touch, your anger. Fuck, I miss being scolded by you after drinking actually, it’s weird right, maybe I’m a masochist.” he said with a small grin
“Hoonie come on-” Hoonie, you didn’t even mean to say it yet the words seemed to come out of you like it was an instinct.
“I missed that too,” he cut in as his hand slowly drew circles around your knuckles, “Shit YN I missed you so much” his eyes slowly started to well up with tears, a few threatening to drip down. You hated how your heart still held a soft spot for him, but you hated seeing him cry even more.
“Hoon don’t cry.” your hands reached over to cup his face, fuck if this was all so wrong why did it feel so right. Like your hand belonged there.
“YN- fuck,” now he really was crying “I really do love you.”
Do, present tense. “Just because you loved me doesn’t mean I felt loved by you”
The memories you tried so hard to repress suddenly flooded all back to you, the arguments, the sleepless nights, the cold glares. The reason you broke up in the first place. You tried your hardest to forget that night, the shouts between you two that filled up your apartment, the way his words pierced through your heart like a spear, the way he walked out so easily. All to just walk back into your heart like he owned the place. Fuck he did own your heart though, he never stopped owning it.
“I’m sorry YN. I’m so so sorry, I should’ve been better. I can be better. Please, I’ll love you the way you’re meant to be loved. I won’t shut you out anymore, fuck I never should’ve. I just- please, I can’t keep living without you. I haven’t been living without you-” he was practically sobbing now. “Please YN, I mean it.”
You wiped away the tears running down his cheeks, seeming to not notice how your eyes were stinging with tears as well. “Hoonie I miss you too but, we can’t keep hurting each other like this. We aren’t good for each other”
“We were good YN. It was so so good, I just fucked it up. Please give me a chance, I can be better.”
Your brain told you to block out his words; and deny everything that was coming out of his mouth, but your heart seemed to overpower those commands. “It wasn’t just you Hoonie, I could’ve been better too-”
“No you were perfect.” he blurted out cutting you off, “I never stopped loving you. Can’t we just, start over?” desperation was an understatement to describe him, god he was a pleading mess.
You could practically hear your own heart-shattering. “I never stopped loving you either Hoonie. But you’re drunk right now, let’s just talk about this in the morning ‘kay?”
“Okay but, can I please sleep here?”
No, he shouldn’t. “Sure hoon”
Sunghoon made his way to the top of your bed, arm reaching out signalling you to come over. A signal you regretfully accepted. You nested yourself between his arms, breathing in his cologne while his chin rested on the top of your head. You hated this, fuck you hated how natural this felt. You hated how easily you could melt into his touch, his words, his scent. You hated how badly you loved it.
“I love you, my YN” his breath slightly hitched before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.
You tried ignoring the lump in your throat but it was no use, the next words that came out of your mouth were swallowed with sniffles and quiet sobs “I love you too hoonie”
Maybe in another universe, you two could’ve talked everything out. Maybe you two could have reconciled and lived happily together again. Maybe the 4 years of dating didn’t disappear in one night. Maybe you two could’ve gotten married like he said. Maybe you lived in a nice 2-bedroom house in the countryside, dogs running around the yard whilst you both basked in the sunlight. Maybe you would have actually had the child you fantasised about.
Maybe, just maybe, Sunghoon would’ve been there when you woke up the next morning.
perm taglist! (send an ask to be added) @floweryang @cupidhoons @msauthor
Tumblr is my biggest opp im convinced, it hates me 😓
DIAAAA!! What do you think of an alternative ending, where Mila and Hwang Sejun ends up together and the members can’t do anything abt it?? And Mila and Sejun r genuinely in love?? Ngl I find Sejun n Mila cute tgt 😭😭
ngl this had me tempted lol like idk why sejun ended up just stealing the spotlight but understandable 👹 anyway!! don’t know for sure if i will do it, but i do have a deleted scene here for any sejunxmila fans out there ✨✨
ılı. 𝒩ow Playing . . . OLDER , Isabel larosa
────────𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗮 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗮 𝗺𝗮𝗻. 𝓯𝓽. hwang sejun 𝔁 mila bai ( 𝖮𝖭𝖤 𝖮𝖥 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖦𝖨𝖱𝖫𝖲 alt end. )
“You know, you could just move in with me.”
Mila was half awake at midnight, wearing nothing but one of Sejun’s dress shirts, and definitely not prepared for his proposition.
“It would save you the time of sneaking out and back into your dorms again,” he continued, brushing away a strand of hair from her face. “And it means I get to see you like this even more.”
Mila felt almost guilty that she even considered the offer. She loved her members too much to be away from them—but maybe that was the perfect reason she could offer to justify why it was a good idea. Seeing her thoughtful expression, Sejun smiled. He kissed her forehead gently (as if he didn’t leave hand-shaped bruises on her hips, or a trail of purple love bites on every inch of her skin the night before).
“You’re getting soft,” Mila pointed out. He had always been somewhat gentle with her—when they weren’t in bed, anyways. But after two months of sneaking around beneath the noses of Dispatch and, in Mila’s case, her fellow members, she supposed that maybe he had grown a fondness for her after all.
“How can I not? Do you know how adorable you are?” he whispered, pecking her on the lips. A boyish grin made its way onto his face when she wrinkled her nose. Anyone would instantly forget that he was, in fact, seven years her senior and a notorious sex icon in the acting industry, whose name was involved in more scandal headlines than all of Enhypen combined. “My cute bunny.”
“Well, this bunny has to go hopping home,” Mila said with a petulant tone.
Sejun quirked an eyebrow. “Leaving already?” He caressed her thighs, stroking the soft skin with his thumb. “Why don’t you stay a little longer, hm? I’ll drive you home later.”
Mila didn’t know if that was a good idea. She had already been here longer than she intended, and if she let him have his way, she would be stumbling into the Enhypen dorms by the time everyone else was awake. But then, what did it matter if she did?
Sejun immediately knew when she had given in. “Good girl.”
Mila blamed her childhood, for the lack of praises from her absent father who left with barely a goodbye, for the way she easily succumbed to the praises of a man who would ruin her further than she already was. But, what could she say? He always knew how to get the best out of her.
summary: how the love began to die out between you and them. featuring kamisato ayato, alhaitham, diluc, and zhongli. gn! reader (see a/n below) pt. 2 here w/c: 2.1k words in total a/n: inspired by the new vault track from midnights by taylor swift. meant to be a gender neutral reader but one of the lyrics i reference uses "her". otherwise, no pronouns used.
And I wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser, who only wanted you to see her.
“I’ll be entering an arranged marriage to the daughter of another clan.” Ayato said matter of factly, as if it was as casual as discussing the weather. Today was the off day Ayato had free. He’s been so busy the past month that he barely has time for you. You can’t even remember the last time the two of you woke up together. He always slept late and woke up earlier than you. The affection was rarely there too; The usual loving kisses and cuddles were reduced to pecks on the cheek and pats on the arm. This was one of the rare times you were actually able to sit down with him.
The air was tense, almost impossible to breathe in. What was supposed to be a romantic dinner quickly turned sour the moment Ayato announced a piece of news you never wanted to hear. “I’ll be meeting her in two weeks. I’m expecting the marriage ceremony to take place within the next three months or so.” He wasn’t looking at you, instead more focused on the food in front of him. Your chopsticks fall from your hands, the clatter piercing the silence between you two. Ayato looks at you, completely deadpanned. You take the moment to really, truly look at him. His expression was standoffish, and his eyes were dispassionate. Just where did that loving gaze go? “What?” He asks.
“Ayato, you can’t just expect me to be happy about this.” You huff in frustration, picking up your chopsticks and setting them down in a proper manner. “When you accepted the proposal, did you just forget about our relationship? About me?”
Ayato rolled his eyes and sighed. “You’re acting like I declared undying love for her. I’m simply doing what’s best for the clan, and for Inazuma as a whole.” He puts down his chopsticks as well, clearly not focused on eating anymore. “It’s not like I’m ending things with you. Marrying her opens many opportunities I can’t pass on.”
“You’re not ending things with me, but you’re just gonna go off and marry some girl?” Your heart broke a little more with every word. If someone were to listen closely, they could probably hear each individual crack. “Ayato, our relationship has already been wavering a little…you’re so busy. It’s like you just can’t fit me into your schedule.” Your eyes start to become glossy, and you need to swallow back your tears to fight against them falling. “How can I expect us to stay together when you need to make room for two spouses now? I thought love meant more to you than business did.” Your voice cracked with every syllable that fell from your lips.
Ayato stood up from his seat on the floor, adjusting his sleeves and beginning to make his way to the door. He slides it open before stopping in place. “Marrying her has a lot to offer.” He speaks, but he isn’t even looking at you.
“And I don’t?” You ask. You didn’t even know if you wanted the answer to that. Luckily for you, he didn’t answer at all. He looked back at you from over his shoulder. He takes a breath, and you feel as if he’s stealing the air straight out of your lungs. He turns his head back and sighs. He steps forward, leaving the room.
The door shuts, and you are left in silence.
And I’m fading, thinking: Do something babe, say something.
With Alhaitham being appointed as Acting Grand Sage, it’s only natural that his workload for the Akademiya would increase. However, if there’s one thing that Alhaitham truly hates, it’s when unnecessary work piles up and begins to leak into his personal life, like a bucket overflowing with water. A work-life balance can only go so far before work begins to completely tilt the scale in its favor. Naturally, this takes away from time the two of you could spend together.
Normally, that would be completely fine with you. You knew Alhaitham was a busy man with a busy lifestyle. It’s completely reasonable for him to not throw aside his work just for you. Alhaitham always tries to make time for you, to show you his affection in small ways that don’t take up too much time. Either with tea he makes for you before he leaves for work, small trinkets that begin to appear on your bedside table, or a hushed declaration of love when he accidentally wakes you up when he rises early. But recently, his efforts have been slowly dwindling. You no longer wake up to the smell of tea. You no longer reach over to your nightstand in a sleepy haze, only to feel an object that was not there before. You no longer hear an “I love you” amongst the sound of your bedsheets ruffling in the early hours of the morning.
Of course, you noticed. So you took it amongst yourself to try and do something to express your love. You usually go to sleep before him, but here you are in the living room, waiting for him to return. It’s already quite late, and you fight back a yawn every twenty minutes or so, but you’re determined to stay awake to greet him. The smell of his favorite food wafts in from the kitchen, and you smile while thinking of his reaction. You might not be a Michelin star chef, but you pour love into everything you make him.
Finally, the door opens, and there he is. His eyes are tired, and an annoyed expression is etched onto his face. “Hey, honey.” You shoot up from your seat to greet him at the door. His head snaps in your direction slightly, not expecting you to still be awake. He lets out a little grunt as a response. You can tell he’s in a bad mood, but you keep pushing. “You’re home late.” You state before realizing how you pointed out the painfully obvious.
“I always am.” His voice is monotone, cold. He walks straight past you, barely even sparing you a glance.
Your hope begins to falter, but you try again. “Are you hungry? I made you dinner.” You reach your hand out to lightly touch his. He pulls his hand away with no hesitation. You feel the familiar sting deep in your stomach, and you try your best to ignore it. You clear your throat as if to rid the moment of his past action before speaking again. “Then, maybe we could eat together-”
He groans aloud. “Can you just be quiet?” He snaps. His voice wasn’t angry. It wasn’t filled with love or hate. It was indifference, and in all honesty, that hurt so much more. “I’m exhausted. The last thing I need today is you nagging me.”
You falter, as if you were shrinking away in a desperate attempt to try and disappear. “Right.” Your voice is quiet, meek. “Of course.” You turn away to walk into the kitchen, and you hear your shared bedroom door slam shut. You sit at the dinner table, gazing at the untouched meals on the opposite ends. Your hand moves to touch the spoon and stir it around in the food, but any outsider could tell that you have no intention of eating a single bite.
For the rest of the night, you sit there alone as the food goes cold.
Lose something babe, risk something. (You’re losing me.)
If there’s one thing Diluc strives to do, it’s protect you. He lost his father already, he can’t risk losing you too. It brings him peace to know that you’re safe at Dawn Winery, away from things that can bring you harm. But even though he is protective, it’s not as though he keeps you locked inside the house. He knows of your adventurous spirit and he would never want to hurt you. However, he has a habit of being a little paranoid. The people of Mondstadt are aware of your relationship, but he rarely lets the two of you be seen together. He prefers things quite private, but you’re starting to get a little sick of it.
You just returned from a small commission; it’s been ages since you’ve done one. It felt so refreshing to wield your weapon and go on a mini adventure! Even if it was just a few slimes near Windrise, the experience was one you haven’t had in far too long. You end up with a small cut on your hand, but you look at it in pride as you walk back to the winery. You open the heavy door, and you’re met with the face of your lover.
“Y/N, where were you?” Diluc’s question is loud, his voice laced in concern. A second barely passes, and he’s already by your side. He catches sight of your hand and cages it in his larger ones. “Why is your hand hurt?”
You shake him off lightly, heading to the couch to set your things down. “I took a small commission.” You explain. “Just a little group of slimes. My hand got cut, but I’m okay. Don’t worry about it!” You attempt to reassure him, but the crease in his eyebrows doesn't go away.
“Y/N, how many times have I told you?” Diluc scolded. He folds his arms over his chest. “You don’t need to take commissions. I provide for us enough already.”
Your eyes roll before you can stop them. You can feel your frustration rise inside you. “I didn’t take the commission for the money, Diluc.” You huff at him. “I wanted an adventure, even if it was a small one. It’s the experience I wanted.”
Diluc scoffs. “Oh, so getting hurt is an enjoyable experience for you?” Diluc never had the most friendly tone, but you’d have to be truly clueless to miss the sarcasm weaved into his words.
“By the Seven, Diluc, it was a cut!” You exclaim. “All of this over a cut?”
He looks you in the eyes. “You know I just want you to be safe.”
Your eyes softened slightly, biting your lip. “But Diluc, you play it too safe sometimes.” You grab your weapons and bag again, adjusting your jacket before heading towards the door. Despite just getting home, you felt the need to get away, to cool off. Maybe to kill some other monsters, you weren’t sure.
“Where are you going?” He asks.
“Out.” You respond curtly. You weren’t sure of your destination, but you didn’t care. You just needed to be away from him.
“Y/N-“ He called out. You cut him off by slamming the heavy winery doors.
Choose something babe, I’ve got nothing to believe, unless you’re choosing me.
“I love you.” Zhongli murmured, knuckles turning white with how hard he was gripping his pole arm. He towered over you, who was on the ground in a pool of blood. The metallic smell was hard to ignore. “I love you, I truly do. And I always will.”
You laugh bitterly. “You love me, and you caused my injury.” You use your hand to weakly gesture towards your torso. “Some love you have…”
Zhongli grips his weapon even harder. He digs the heels of his feet into the group as an effort to ground himself. He knew that if he were to take a single step, he’d run to you, and he’s not sure if he can stop himself. He takes a breath to calm himself, and every breath of air he breathes makes him wish he could breathe that same life into you instead. “It’s for my nation.” He says as calmly as he can. Oh, how he wished he could run to you, kiss you, and heal you. He continues with bated breath. “You know I cherish my nation.”
You cough, blood splattering out. “More than you cherish me?” You ask weakly. “More than you cherish us?”
Zhongli’s eyes soften with sadness. “Yes…more than I cherish you, my love.”
You sigh, suddenly feeling the fatigue hit you like a truck. You’re so tired. So, so tired. You voice out your thoughts. “I’m exhausted, Zhongli.” Your voice is weak, along with your body.
“I’m sorry.” He says before facing away from you. He can’t bear to look at you in this state. He can’t bear to see what he’s done to you. He takes slow steps away, using all his willpower to not turn around and run to your side.
“I love you, Zhongli.” You call out.
He takes one final look. “I love you too, dearest.”
A sad, soft smile etches itself onto your face. Your eyelids droop, and eventually, they flutter closed. Zhongli stares at you sadly. His weapon drops to the ground, making a loud clatter. The silence is deafening. He peers at your lifeless body before closing his eyes. “You’ll always be my favorite story.” He whispers.
A single tear falls from his eyes.
TRACKING THE WIP!
Jake wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you. It’s not as if there was a written rule, no ink on paper or statement made it factual. But there was an understanding that his best friend’s little sister wasn’t someone he was supposed to fall in love with. Yet, he did, and God — it had been a hell of a ride.
GENRES: older brother’s best friend & summer romance; angst, fluff & smut
PAIRING: older brother’s best friend!Jaeyun (Jake) x fem!reader
WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol and drugs; virginity loss; unprotected sex multiple times; a lot of art references as Jake majored in Fine Arts, and I am not saying that there’s a scene where he paints the reader naked, but I am; body worship at some point; also biker!Jake; and he calls the reader baby (valid warning, in my opinion)
CURRENT WORD COUNT: 14.6K
SPOTIFY PLAYLIST!
TAGLIST OPEN! But please, be kindly aware that I am not the fastest or the most confident writer on this site. I don’t know when I am going to post them, so if you want to be tagged feel free to leave a comment or send me an ask at @en-ternity! ♡
𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠'𝐬 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲
⤲ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
⤲ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞!𝐀𝐔, 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝!𝐀𝐔, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭
⤲ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟔.𝟐𝐤
⤲ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞, 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞. 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬, 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨'𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧...
← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →
"Don't worry, Hoonie", you say calmly and finally come to stand at Jaeyun's front door, your palms sweating as the excitement and nervousness of the upcoming hour finally gets the best of you, "I'll make sure to keep an eye on him throughout the night. We both won't drink anyway so it won't be that difficult."
Your brother lets out a sigh of defeat when he finally gets himself to accept your words of reassurance regarding his best friend. It's only been a few days since Heeseung's panic attack, but you could tell from Sunghoon's demeanor just how worried he is about him. And you don't blame him in the slightest. You've only ran into Seung once since that night and every time your eyes roamed his face you remembered Hoon's words. "He looks so tired" he had texted you and there was absolutely no other way to describe the current appearance of Lee Heeseung.
You could tell he was trying his best to keep the conversation up, the enthusiasm however leaving his system rather quickly as you guys lost yourself in topics and he became even quieter than before.
However, after a long talk with your older brother you both had decided to try your best to make the upcoming time as easy for the best friend as possible and despite your attempts of cheering up Sunghoon as well, he seemed too effected by it all to even think of anything else.
"I won't be drinking tonight either", he suddenly adds as an afterthought to your words and you just let out a hum of approval, aware that you'll need him to be sober to be of any help but knowing him you're pretty sure he's going to end up a little tipsy – it's Sim Jaeyun's birthday after all.
"Keep me updated yeah? I'll head home after work and get changed so I might be a little late", Hoon mumbles just as Heeseung buzzes you in and after telling him not to worry again, you both say your goodbyes and you finally find yourself standing in front of the boys' front door.
You don't get enough time to mentally prepare yourself to face Lee Heeseung as he swings the door open and appears in front of you with a soft smile on his pretty lips. Usually you're quick to avert your gaze, but after last time, you just can't help but let your eyes roam his handsome face and take in the sight of his breathtaking features.
His big bambi eyes are fixated on you, exhaustion and pain lingering in the usually so warm brown and you hate the way your heart breaks at the realisation of just how much he's been suffering in silence.
Because despite your desperate attempts, you never really stopped caring about him and his well-being. Your love might have never been and won't ever be reciprocated, but you would never want him to actually suffer because no matter what he's done to you, Lee Heeseung is one of the best people you've ever met and maybe that's why your heart is still thrumming in your throat every time you're in his presence.
"Hi, there", he says and steps aside to let you in, "I'm glad you could make it."
For a moment you're left speechless and you don't even know why. Maybe it's the fact the two of you haven't been all alone in over four years or maybe because you catch yourself craving the sound of his voice even more than before, yet either way it takes you a good moment to respond.
"Hey", you breathe and take your shoes off, still feeling his eyes on you as he watches you attentively, "of course. Wouldn't want you to do it all by yourself."
Heeseung just smiles and when you finally look up at him, you let out the breath you didn't know you were holding in when you realise how honest and genuine it is.
You both silently walk into the living room before Heeseung takes your bag and coat from you, his gaze lingering on the exposed skin of your thighs for a moment longer than necessary and you hate the way your body instantly starts heating up in response.
"How have you been?"
Your question lingers in the air for a moment and you carefully watch his reactions to your words, only for him to break into a bright smile.
"Better", Seung replies and for the first time in a few days, he's proud of himself for just how true the statement is, "it's been...a week, but I'm okay. Can the Park siblings please stop worrying so much about me?"
Your ears perk up at his rhetorical question and for some reason his abilitiy to read you and your intention this well flusters you a lot more than it should.
"Oh, come on", he suddenly chuckles and runs his bandaged hand through his dark hair, "do you really think I don't know how you two have been thinking of ways to cheer me up and take care of me these past few days? You might be a little more subtle about it but Hoon's always been bad at hiding his concered face."
You attentively listen to him and finally feel yourself get rid of some of the tension in your muscles when he tries to imitate your brother's expressions, furrowing his brows and scrunching his nose with pouted lips just like his best friend.
A chuckle falls past your lips and all you can do is nod in response to his words, knowing he's too attentive not to know your intentions, but from the lightness of his tone you can tell he appreciates it just as much.
"We just care about you a lot", you admit and hope your choice of words doesn't give the wrong signals, since you wouldn't want him to get uncomfortable, "especially Hoonie."
This time Seung starts nodding as he fumbles with his ring clad fingers and you genuinely can't stand the way your eyes hungrily take in the sight of them. Your obsession with his hands has never been healthy and it seems to be worse even if you were convinced you had gotten over it.
"And that means the world to me." He replies calmly and opens his hands for a quick second, exposing the bloody patch on the bandage around his hand to your eyes.
A soft gasp escapes your lips and with worried eyes and absolutely no other thoughts you reach for him to take a proper look at it.
And Heeseung doesn't stop you, even if he should. He definitely shouldn't be enjoying the feeling of your skin against his but after fighting his demons all week, he allows himself to enjoy and savior this for as long as you'll let him. Just this one time.
"When was the last time you changed this?" You ask softly and gently graze the bloody patch in the middle of his palm with your pretty fingers, your fresh set of nails catching Heeseungs attention and he hates his brain for putting mental images of your hands in his hair and his face into his head so quickly.
He's so caught up by the calming feeling of you holding his hand, he actually forgets to respond, his body in an actual trance as comfort and calmness takes over his system from nothing but a single touch of yours.
"Seungie."
Your sudden use of the nickname you had chosen for him almost two decades ago suddenly pulls him back into reality and with big eyes he meets your strong, worry filled gaze.
"This morning", he quickly mumbles and hopes you don't notice the slight blush covering the apples of his cheeks, but he knows his ears are gonna give him away anyway.
"Come on, let me change it again or it'll get infected", you say and subconsciously wrap your fingers around his hand before you pull him into the direction of the bathroom, only letting go once you realise what you've been doing. And as you make him sit down on the edge of the bathtub you wonder why he wasn't the one to pull away from your grip, your head quickly making up possible reasons and you sigh as you push all of them to the farthest corner of your brain.
"You know, you don't have to do this, right?" He mumbles softly and takes in the sight of your pretty side profile as you look for the boys' first aid kit before sitting down in front of him.
"I do", you reply quickly and start unwrapping the old bandage gently, scared of hurting him, "but I want to. Your hands are your biggest treasure, captain."
Your words make him chuckle and a sense of pride fills his chest as he replays them in his head because you've always been the only one to give him this particular feeling.
"You've never called me that", he suddenly mumbles as the realisation hits him and he can't help but love the way it sounds coming from you. It doesn't sound condescending or ridiculing but genuine and honest, filled with pride as if you felt proud of his position on the team he's worked so hard for.
"We only started talking to each other again about two weeks ago, Seungie", you chuckle and throw the dirty bandage away and reach into the kit to clean the deep cut.
Heeseung doesn't respond to that because he doesn't know what to say. You're right, after all. He hasn't talked to you in four years and he's only been captain for about one now, but that doesn't take away any of the excitement in his eyes in response to your words.
"Does it hurt?" You whisper and swallow your tears as you wipe the soaked cotton pad over his wound with care, remembering the way Sunghoon had broken down in front of you once he told you about that night in detail.
"No", Heeseung quickly replies because he knows how worried you are even if you aren't looking at him; he can feel the concern in every single one of your delicate touches.
A beat of silence follows his answer and once you're done, you can't get yourself to actually let go of his hand.
And Seung doesn't pull away either, leaving you wondering what his sudden change in demeanor means, but you don't let yourself fall into those wishful thoughts. Not again. He probably doesn't want to be rude because you helped him, that's it. There's nothing else to it.
And maybe it's a moment of actual weakness or maybe the longing of all those years but you physically can't stop yourself from taking his into both of yours.
You absentmindedly trace the shape of his rings with the tip of your finger, too shy to actually touch his skin and for a moment you allow yourself to get lost in those thoughts you had tried so hard to get rid of.
What if he has changed his mind and isn't opposed to you anymore? What if you're finally mature and old enough for him to recognize you as your own person and more than his best friend's sister? What if he thinks you're attractive now, maybe even pretty?
As the questions in your head start doubling in their numbers, you feel your chest getting tighter once you realise just how much you still like him, throwing away your hard work of the past four years just like that.
Heeseung doesn't move at all, just enjoys the way your touch seems to feel perfect, something he's never felt before. He can tell you've got lost in your thoughts because you usually never touch him and here you are holding into his injured hand with such care yet also certainty, he can't help but gently wrap his fingers around one of your delicate wrists.
The air in the small bathroom is so thick with tension, Heeseung is sure he could easily cut through it with a knife if he tried but for some reason, he doesn't feel uncomfortable. As you stare at your hands, he lets his eyes roam your body for a quick moment, since he's already stared at you enough today but at this point he's stopped blaming himself because there's no way he could physically stop himself from looking at you. Not when you're wearing one of your cute little dresses which barely reaches the mid of your perfect thighs and those god damn tights. The colour compliments your skin tone in the best was possible and he loves how it fits your shape perfectly, like it was made for you and you only. Seung can't even imagine what it would look like on someone else and he doesn't even want to.
You notice his strong gaze on your face after finding your way back into reality and the second you lift your head to look at him, a wave of warmth hits you.
"You're so beautiful."
Three words.
It takes exactly three words for your heart to skip several beats in a row and for a moment you struggle to inhale as those few letters know out every bit of oxygen in your lungs.
Hearing him say what you've been daydreaming about for years, especially when you had just finished internally scolding yourself for your wishful thoughts, has adrenaline rushing through your veins.
Maybe you misheard him or maybe you just heared what you wanted to so badly, so without missing another beat you look at him with parted lips and mumble a soft "sorry?"yet avoiding his gaze like the plague.
You don't know what you expect from him, but in absolutely no universe, not even your delusional one, you're prepared for the sudden feeling of his other hand on your cheek softly guiding your head up to meet his eyes.
Too shocked and overwhelmed by just how perfect his skin feels against yours, you just do as he wants, subconsciously moving further into his touch and with a soft sigh Heeseung pulls his bottom lip between his teeth in the same moment his gaze drop to your parted ones.
"You're such a beautiful girl, princess", he whispers and grazes your bottom lip with his thumb, the action so small yet dizzying, you physically can't get yourself to breathe even if you tried.
And when Heeseung finally notices the expression of shock on your pretty features, he sighs and accepts his defeat. He know he shouldn't have done this. He should have kept those words and touches to himself, save them for the time you might actually want him the way he's been craving and longing for you but after a week of fighting with his thoughts, he simply didn't have the energy left to be as distant as he usually is for your sake.
But when you refuse to move out of his touch, even subconsciously nuzzling your cheek against his palm it takes Seung every bit of self control to not just pull you onto his lap and finally claim you the way he's wanted for years now.
"Don't look at me like that, pretty girl."
His voice is a mere whisper but you hear the despair in every single one of his words, his bambi eyes filled with an expression of...longing, something you had never seen in them before and for some reason it's that particular realisation which finally allows you to breathe again.
"Like what?" You're genuinenly surprised at the stability and actual sense of your response, since you've struggled to find proper words for the past two minutes.
Heeseung doesn't give you enough time to analyse your own reactions as his he suddenly takes your face into both of his hands and never once averts his gaze from your face.
"Like you still want me", his answer hits you like a truck and with an inaudible gasp you try to fill your lungs with oxygen, only to fail miserably.
"You deserve nothing but the best princess, do you hear me? Don't ever settle for those pretty faces who do everything halfheartedly", he begins and cocks his head tot he side with sudden sadness washing over his sharp features, the unexpected change in his expressions splitting your heart in two, "I wish I could be what you deserve but I'm not. And I'm afraid I won't ever be."
You frantically let your eyes roam his face to see if he's as serious as he sounds and there's absolutely no indication of his words being anything but the truth. Heeseung's never been one to lie, not to you anyway, so why are you trying to catch him in one right now, of all moments?
It's been years since the two of you have been this vulnerable with each other and as you wrap your fingers around his wrists to keep his hands on your face, you just look at him with a veil of thick tears blurring your sight.
"But–"
Heeseung smiles and pulls your face even closer to his own, knowing this will be the first and last time he'll allow himself to be like this with you, which is probably why he doesn't hesitate to place the softest kiss on your lips, purposely not giving you enough time to realise what he's doing to make sure you don't reciprocate it because he knows once he gets a proper taste he's going to be addicted and that's the last thing that should happen.
"So perfect", he whispers and actually pulls away, letting go of your warm face with a soft sigh before he wordlessly gets up from his seat on the edge of the bathtub to find an escape in the kicing room knowing you'll need the next few minutes to compose yourself, which will give him enough time to get his shit together.
And as you wordlessly watch him walk away, the safety of his presence and your perfect, yet temporary world slowly starts crumbling down around you and with your brain processing each word, a sudden wave of pain leaves you gasping for air desperately.
Why would he do this to you?
He knows about your feelings for him despite your attempts to hide them even after being rejected by him four years ago, so why would he fuck with your head like this? Talking about not being what you deserve, kissing you and placing the tiniest bit of hope into your palms just to brutally take it away from you again.
In a moment of anger clouding your brain, you aggressively swing the door open, preparing yourself to confront him for messing with you like that because why the fuck can't he just leave you alone? It's not like you'd get over him without him doing all of this anyway, so why is he making this even harder for you?
Maybe he likes to see you suffer and this is just all part of some sick game of his, or maybe he knows he won't ever choose you over his friendship with your brother, a fact so hard to swallow, you feel yourself choking on it each and every time.
Questions, thoughts, as hopeful as they are desperate, as well as anger and confusion fill your head the closer you get to him, not even realising he's made his way to the front door only to be met with the sight of his pretty best friend in his arms.
It hits you right then and there that everything that has just happened simply doesn't matter to him because you've never been and won't ever be an option. At the end of the day you'll always be Sunghoon's younger sister to him before anything else. Nothing else about you matters as much as the relation to your brother and as you try your best to swallow your tears at the sight of Sumin burying her face in Heeseung's neck with giggles and an explanation what she's doing here, you can't help but let your gaze drop to the way he's holding her and that turns out to be the last of his hints for you to get.
Without a word you turn around on your heel and finally reach the somehow comforting four walls of Jongseong's room, closing the door behind you and finally letting go of everything with your hand firmly covering your mouth to hide every single cry from the two people on the other side.
You don't say a single word until Jaeyun comes home from work, welcoming him with a big hug and sad eyes, which he unfortunately quickly catches up on and before you get to reassure him not to worry, he's met with the sight of his best friend's best friend and without saying anything he just shoots you a tight lipped nod.
Once you're all done setting everything up, Jongseong finally walks through the door, bundled up in his thick coat, a beanie and his face hidden by a mask and a pair of sunglasses he pulls you into a tight hug and thanks you for your hard work. Neither of the boys give Sumin a single second of their attention and you can see their lack of enthusiasm about her presence from their cold expressions.
For some reason their reactions and behavior give you a stupid sense of happiness, especially knowing they don't like her at all and you actually happen to be their favorite.
Different than expected your brother manages to be the third one to knock on the door, present and flowers in his hands as he looks at you with exhaustion grazing his features and you quickly avert your gaze to hide your eyes from him, knowing he'll read you even faster than Heeseung and the last thing you want to do is explain your brother why you're as sad as you are.
However once your girls arrive, a little bit later than the boys' team mates, you finally manage to distract yourself and after about an hour you stop looking for Heeseung in the crowd of people, just focusing on your friends and staying close to your brother and his boys as much as possible because you know Sumin won't approach you if you're with them.
It's not that you're still bitter about her words from a few weeks ago, but you're not gonna give her the opportunity to pull something like that ever again, especially knowing Heeseung will probably protect and defend her.
And as soon as your new coworkers and friends make their way into the living room, your brother's best friend basically becomes invisible and you love how you manage to put your whole focus on your own people instead of the ones who haven't done anything but hurt you.
You throw your arms around Jiung's neck with a loud chuckle, actually and genuinely happy about him and Keeho being there because they always end up being the life of a party. And when he refuses to let go of your waist as he half hugs the girls, you move further into his touch, even going as far as placing your hand over his and biting your bottom lip when he shoots you one of his infamous smirks.
It's not like you're trying to make anyone jealous or show Jiung off to anyone, there's absolutely nothing going on between the two of you after all, but for some reason you're craving the validation he's currently providing you with and him not being interested in anything serious just makes it a lot easier as well. You enjoy each other's company, that's it.
And with every single time that guy touches you, Heeseung feels his heart rate pick up its pace, brutally hammering against his rib cage and his vision actually blurring from jealousy. He's never wanted to fight someone as bad as he wants to right in that moment but for some reason he can't get himself to just...look away. After your little moment in the bathroom he's promised himself to never let it get this far again and that's why he let Sumin hug him the way she did, something he usually isn't fond of at all but he knew you'd be the one to push him away if you saw him like that.
He probably won't ever forget the pain in your pretty eyes, the ones who were filled with hope and adoration just a few minutes prior to that moment, but as much as he hates hurting you, he simply didn't have another choice.
That's probably why he can't stop looking at the way Jiung's been hugging you from behind for the past hour, resting his head on your shoulder and even touching your neck every now and then, none of which you seem to mind and if it wasn't one of his best friend's birthdays, he would have left hours ago.
Heeseung knows his brain is purposely punishing him for what he did and said to you in the bathroom but none of that makes any of this easier.
Sumin doesn't stop talking for a single second and after listening to her for the past two hours, Seung's stopped paying attention, his sole focus remaining on you.
After a week so difficult Seung is surprised he's still made it out of his bed, life has finally decided to give him a break as his "best friend" tells him about her early departure because she has to catch a flight in the morning and as soon as he closes the door of her uber, he lets out a loud sigh of relief. It's not like she caused a scene or anything in particular she's done but just her presence (probably even existence) has started to drain him of energy lately and even if he refuses to admit it, Heeseung knows her words and threats played a huge role in his breakdown from a few days ago.
And even if he genuinely understands, he can't help but feel hurt by his friends avoiding his presence when Sumin is by his side, yet at the end of the day there's no one to blame but him and he's more than just aware of it.
That's probably why Heeseung's as excited to get back to the party as he is, knowing he'll finally get to spend some quality time with his boys after not seeing them for a week.
And when the thought of spending time with his friends actually helps him distracting him from you, he basically runs out of the elevator towards the front door, only to be met with you and your little pretty face of a boy toy sitting on the stairs, calmly talking to each other.
You don't seem to notice his presence and neither one of you bother to turn around and see who's just got out of the elevator once its doors have closed behind Heeseung.
He knows he should just leave you two alone and give that guy the chance to finish what he had started at your housewarming party. Heeseung wants to just walk back into his best friend's apartment and continue the party, leave you with him and try his best to forget about you but there's absolutely no rational thought left in his brain as he watches the way Jiung pushes a strand of your hair behind your ear and places his big hand on your neck.
For some reason, however, he can't get himself to move away as soon as his eyes fll on you, reading your body language like it's his mother tongue and quickly noticing all the signs of your personal discomfort. As soon as Heeseung notices Jiung's other hand making its way underneath the skirt of your little dress, he basically chokes on his own spit.
He can't even hear what you're saying when you move out of Jiung's gentle touch, shooting him the sweetest smile ever while you push his hand away from your thigh.
However, Jiung seems a little too comfortable and persistent for Heeseung's liking because for some reason he doesn't seem to get your hint, quickly reaching for your arm and pulling you against his chest, chuckling when you playfully turn your head to avoid his lips.
But Heeseung knows you're not being playful or teasing. One of your hands balled into a tight fists while the other nervously scratches your neck as you try to remain as polite as possible not realising you're being watched by the last person you wanted to see again tonight.
And the longer he watches the two of you, the faster his hearts start hammering against his rib cage, the blood thrumming in his ears and every single thought on his mind vanishing as he makes his way to the two of you and harshly grabs Jiung by the collar of his shirt, pushing him against the wall and easily ignoring your shriek of shock.
"She told you to cut it the fuck off", Heeseung presses through gritted teeth and casually throws your coworker to the floor, eliciting a loud gasp from you and as soon as you realise what's happening you move to help your friend on the floor, only for your brother's best friend to wrap his hand gently around your arm and keep you by his side.
"And I told you not to settle for pretty faces who do everything halfheartedly, didn't I?" His words leave no room for discussion and you don't miss the jealousy oozing from his gaze as he looks at you without missing a beat.
You gulp harshly and try to move out of his firm hold on your arm, the whole situation stressing you out even more than wht had happened earlier today.
"Let me go, Heeseung", you hiss with furrowed your brows and your lips pressed tightly together, feeling proud of yourself for maintaining the eye contact without making your struggles too obvious.
"He hasn't even kissed you yet and tried to get into your pants, Y/N", he suddenly says and you look at him in horror, only then realising just how long he's been watching the two of you.
"Were you watching us, you fucking perv?" Jiung's spits and clmes to stand right behind me with his head held high, absolutely not fazed by the humiliation Heeseung had put him throught just a few minutes ago.
"Yes, because I don't fucking like you and I'd be a fucking bastard if I left you alone with her for too long", Heeseung replies and moves you behind him, covering your sight with his broad shoulders as he looks down on Jiung rather casually.
"Why the fuck do you care? You're just her brother's best friend so know your fucking place." You can't hide the surprise in your expressions as his words reach you and for some reason you actually feel offended for Heeseung, never having had anyone talk to him like this in front of you and as much as you hate him right now, you'd never let anyone disrespect him like that.
"Watch your words, Jiung", you suddenly hiss and come to stand next to Heeseung, only for him to shove you behind his tall frame again without a word.
"I care because I'm pretty sure you didn't tell her why your fucking ex girlfriend broke up with you, or am I wrong?"
And suddenly your ears perk up, thousand question marks popping up in your head as you look at Heeseung's side profile with confusion in your eyes before turning your head to look at Jiung.
"Why would I? That's nobody's business but mine and hers." Jiung replies calmly and confidently and you can't help but wonder how Heeseung knows about this particular topic but most importantly what it is all about.
"What are you talking about, Seungie?" You're careful with your question, purposely not directing it at Jiung because you know your brother's best friend would never lie to you, especially since his knowledge seems to have his blood boiling.
"He gave his ex girlfriend a fucking STD after he cheated on her with the campus whore", he deadpans and never once looks at you but actually stares right into Jiung's soul.
He knows he's supposed to let you indulge in your little crush and get a boyfriend so he can forget about you, but after talking to Sumin about Jiung's ex, who just so happens to be in one of her seminars, he definitely wasn't gonna keep this to himself any longer than necessary. Heeseung was just waiting for a good moment to talk about this with his boys, knowing it'd be better if they approached you with this but knowing he made you uncomfortable and refused to accept your rejection, he just couldn't stop himself anymore.
"What the fuck, Jiung?" You say and don't even try to hide the disgust in your voice, subconsciously holding onto the back of Heeseung's shirt but quickly letting go once you realise.
"It was an accident", Jiung shrugs and rolls his eyes, obviously annoyed about the topic and all of a sudden you feel more than just uncomfortable in his presence and basically dread the upcoming time at work.
"The cheating or the lack of protection?" Heeseung throws back at him without missing a beat and you hate the way you can barely hold in your cheeky grin.
"Fuck this, y'all are lame anyway", your coworker replies casually and turns around, leaving you alone with the one person you've been avoiding all night and as the air slowly fills with this tension again, you wait for the door to fall shut to make sure Jiung's gone before you quickly try to follow him.
The sigh of annoyance falling past your lips as soon as Heeseung's fingers wrap around your arm is basically inevitable. You want to be in his presence but you can't physically bear it; your heart hurts and just thinking about your moment from earlier makes you want to burst into tears and hide forever, the same feeling of shame and humiliation getting the best of you exactly the way it did all those years ago.
"What the fuck do you want?"
Your choice of words, your tone and your lack of eye contact is everything Heeseung needs to know about your current emotional state, but apparently not enough to make him let go.
"I didn't mean to ruin this for you", he sighs and looks at you with nothing but comforting warmth oozing from the brown, "but I just couldn't just let it happen either."
"Yeah, I know. I'm your best friend's fucking sister and that's why you could never let a boy be mean to me, right? My fucking hero", you spit back and hate the way your voice breaks as the whole day finally catches up to you.
It's just been too much. Your moment with him in the bathroom, his words, his constant staring, his actions and words being actual opposites, watching him with Sumin and actually having to carry this facade throughout the whole night has finally worn you out completely.
You don't even feel bad for the tears, nor do you feel guilty.
You're just glad they you finally get to let them go.
"I can't let any fucking boy be mean to my fucking girl, because that's who you are. Yes, you might be Hoon's sister but you're so much more to me than just that." His voice is louder and harsher than you expected and as soon as your brain processes his words, you bite back a bratty response, waiting for him to keep talking.
"You can go and fuck those ugly wannabes but none of them will ever be good enough for you", he whispers and nudges your nose with his own, making you realise just how close he is to you and all of a sudden the air in Jaeyun's apartment building is thicker than anything you've ever experienced.
"I can't let a boy be mean to you because I will actually get myself arrested the next time I see you with a loser like this, do you fucking hear me?"
"Why do you care so much?"
Silence.
Heeseung doesn't say a single word, simply because he can't. How is he supposed to tell you about just how important you are to him when there's a friendship on the line that's saved his life in ways he could never repay even if he tried.
Yet you seem so hopeful. Despite anger and annoyance wavering in your voice and lingering in the soft colour of your eyes, he can tell just how much you want him to say those words.
"I guess that's all I need to know then", you sigh and move out of his firm grip, wiping away your tears quickly, "please stop fucking with me like this. My heart can't take it."
And those are the last words you say to him before you finally reach the front door and leave him standing there with nothing but teary eyes and an aching heart. Yet again.
(A/N: I know I said this would be a little smutty but i kust felt like it didn't match the vibe so it just..got angsty 💀 thank you guys so much for your patience and all the love you've been sending my way, it really is everything to me. feedback and reblogs are appreciated!!!🥺🧸💞)
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PAIRING: neglected prince! sunghoon x princess! reader
SUMMARY: park sunghoon, the forsaken prince of the south, had always lived in the shadows of jaeyun's favor. but then you arrived. your presence ignited a flame within him that he had long thought extinguished, and he became profoundly attached to you.
but, when the news of your marriage to jaeyun, the very bastard who had usurped everything sunghoon held dear—reached him, his world shattered once again. now, consumed by helplessness and bitter longing, he understands that no matter how desperately you both cling to each other, you are slipping through his fingers. there is nothing he can do but watch as the love you share is slowly pulled away, knowing that no amount of trying can change the fate that’s already been written. but still, he is willing to try.
GENRE: royalty, love triangle, forbidden love, angst, smut, fluff if you squint
WORD COUNT: 9k
RELEASED: 12th september
TAGLIST: @dollyyun @indigoez @shuichi-sama @capri-cuntz @jiminie-08
@isa942572 @tasnim10 @alienqbrain @arcimedais @irers @mitmit01
@304files @sjakewrld @superbbananananana @deezbin @woorcve
WARNINGS: poor attempt at angst, sunghoon kinda desperate, unprotected sex, pull out method, fingering, breast play,
sunghoon was born into a world of privilege and wealth. he was surrounded by unending luxury since he was the lone heir to the royal line. his father planned a sumptuous feast to celebrate his birth and mark the coming of the beloved prince.
everything he could ask for was at his fingertips. he was educated by the most esteemed scholars, dressed in the finest silks, and surrounded by attendants eager to fulfill his every whim. he received expert sword training, had access to the most prestigious collections of art and music, and was given a magnificent garden by his mother.
he embraced every luxury and opportunity, fully prepared to ascend the throne one day. but everything changed when he turned ten. the king, to sunghoon's utter disbelief, revealed the existence of another son, jaeyun, an illegitimate child born of a mistress.
people were at ease calling jaeyun the king's son, even though he lacked the royal qualities sunghoon so clearly displayed and looked nothing like the king. yet, what infuriated sunghoon most was the king announcing jaeyun as the crown prince, casting aside the rightful heir who carried the true royal blood.
sunghoon was left in a storm of anger and betrayal, unable to understand how his father could deprive him of his birthright and give preference to a kid who, in his opinion, was just a fake.
jaeyun swiftly rose to become the beloved, kind kid of the castle. and as he became the kingdom's favorite, sunghoon watched in rage. it was almost like a bad joke. nobility, attendants, and even royal officials all admired the mistress's kid, the bastard. they spoke of him as the real example of morality and commended his generosity, compassion, and soft heart. in the meantime, sunghoon was ignored, written off as nothing more than a spoilt, pampered prince who was born into wealth and status but didn't deserve the affection of the people.
the world around him refused to treat sunghoon with respect or justice, and his mother was the only one who stood up for him. but, despite her best efforts, the bitterness that was consuming him remained, and she was unable to protect him from the constant barrage of rumors that were echoing through the hallways and comparing him to jaeyun.
sunghoon hated jaeyun for stealing everything from him, including his position, title, and the affection that was rightfully his. but what he hated even more was jaeyun's constant attempts to build a bond between them, as if they were meant to be brothers. he always smiled and stretched out to sunghoon with his boundless generosity. sunghoon couldn't stand it. he hated that every time he made jaeyun cry or called him derogatory names, or pushed him away, jaeyun would always forgive him. that unwavering kindness served as a constant reminder that jaeyun will always be the preferred one, which only made unghoon more enraged. he never referred to him as a brother since, to him, jaeyun was only a bastard.
but there was one thing sunghoon believed that the bastard couldn’t have; you.
you were the only princess of a faraway kingdom, visiting theirs for the first time when you were seventeen. sunghoon first met you in his garden one bright morning, where the soft sunlight cast a golden glow on you as you were determined to gather a tangerine from one of the trees. he stood in amused silence as he watched you struggle, your expensive dress catching on branches as you failed miserably at climbing the tree.
“i do not recall permitting strangers to enter my garden?” he called out to you, a smirk playing on his lips. the sound of his words frightened you to the point that you lost your balance and fell off the tree. but before you could hit the ground, sunghoon was there, swift and steady, his strong arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you against him. he held you close, his grip firm and protective, your faces mere inches apart as you both froze in the moment, his gaze fixed on yours. “stealing tangerines, my lady?”
he liked you in that moment, your wide-eyed surprise and the way you had been so determined despite the absurdity of climbing a tree in such fine clothes. there was something endearing in your boldness, in the way you held your breath as if caught in a mischievous act. sunghoon found himself lingering a little longer, not letting you go immediately, enjoying the closeness. and though he spoke of tangerines, it was clear that his interest had already shifted entirely to you.
but he knew he had fallen in love with you when you began treating him with kindness, not out of obligation like everyone else in the castle did. your kindness wasn’t because he was a prince or someone you had to impress. it was genuine, natural, and so effortlessly sincere. you spoke to him as if he were just sunghoon, not the forgotten heir, not the spoiled prince, but simply a person. it was in the way you laughed with him, how you listened, and how you seemed to see him for who he truly was. and that, more than anything, captivated him.
he sought your attention whenever you came, always finding excuses to be near you. whether it was arranging to meet in the garden again or subtly positioning himself where you would be, he was driven by a desire to be close to you. your presence, your genuine warmth, became the highlight of his days. he cherished every moment, every conversation, and every smile, desperate to savor the connection he had come to treasure more than anything else in his world.
you made him run after you for a whole two years, tirelessly pursuing you with an intensity that left no doubt about his feelings. he begged for your attention, presented you with countless gifts, and did everything in his power to win your heart, all in an effort to prove his devotion to you.
every time you visited his kingdom, he was there, waiting, hoping, and showing you just how much you meant to him, making you feel as though you were the only girl gracing the world with your beauty and grace.
and finally, you accepted him into your heart.
you began meeting him in secret, sneaking away from the prying eyes of the court. you both knew that keeping your relationship hidden was the only way to avoid the mess that would come from the royal court’s intense scrutiny. if people found out, it could create a scandal, stirring up all sorts of trouble and judgment. with sunghoon’s complicated position and the favoritism toward jaeyun, you wanted to protect what you had from all that drama. so, your secret meetings were your way of keeping your love safe and away from the harsh realities of court life.
you knew he truly loved you. it wasn’t just in the way he looked at you, but in every small thing he did to keep you close. his love for you ran so deep, it felt like something unbreakable, something that would make anyone jealous if they knew about it. he didn’t just see you as an escape from his struggles; you became his reason for peace, the one person who made all the weight of the world disappear when he was with you. and as much as he adored you, your love for him was just as fierce, a connection so intense that it felt like nothing could come between you, not even the royal court or the kingdom’s expectations.
though, it had all been an illusion – an illusion you both had created in your minds, one that allowed you to live in happiness for a time. but it was always fragile, destined to shatter eventually.
it came crashing down when your families made an unexpected arrangement – one that bound you to jaeyun instead. the announcement that you were to wed him, and not sunghoon, tore through everything you had shared. the life you had envisioned with sunghoon vanished in an instant, leaving only the cold, harsh truth of the kingdom's expectations.
he thought you were his, that no matter what titles jaeyun held or how beloved he was by the kingdom, you belonged to sunghoon alone. jaeyun could never take that from him, or so he thought. but sunghoon was mistaken. the moment the marriage preparations started, he realized with crushing clarity that even you, the one thing he believed jaeyun could never possess, had been about to taken from him.
sunghoon’s frustration boiled over in the days following the preparations. the thought of you standing beside jaeyun, the very person who had stolen everything from him, sent waves of anger coursing through his veins. he couldn’t understand how fate could be so cruel – how it could give him someone as precious as you, only to rip you away and place you in the arms of the bastard he despised.
that’s why sunghoon couldn’t just sit still and watch you slip away. his anger turned to determination, and one day he stormed into his father’s chambers. he didn’t know that was going to be the first mistake he made.
“how can you be so blind?! jaeyun is nothing but a bastard from the slums, not even your real child. and now you’re marrying off the princess of the east to him? this is a disgrace and an insult to the royal family and to her!”
after sunghoon’s outburst, the king’s eyes narrowed with a mix of suspicion and fury. “you have no right to question my decisions! what is it that’s making you act out so violently?! is there a secret affair between you and the princess that you’re trying to protect? speak now before i take drastic measures!”
sunghoon stood paralyzed, his throat tightening as he struggled to find the right words. fear gripped him, thinking that disclosing any details about his relationship with you would put you at risk. he couldn’t afford for you to be harmed in any way. the words caught in his throat, and his silence only served to heighten the king’s suspicion. unbeknownst to him, this inability to respond only made him appear more guilty in his father’s eyes.
the king laughed bitterly, a harsh, derisive sound that filled the room. “so, you have no defense, only silence. how convenient. it seems you have been hiding something after all.” the king walked up to sunghoon, his hands clasped behind and a sick smile adorning his face. “pray tell, son, do you truly believe yourself a more suitable match for the princess? do you imagine that a mere boy like yourself could bring her the happiness she deserves? do you even understand the nature of women, boy? jaeyun will prove a far better husband for her than you ever could. he embodies all that you lack—kindness, duty, wisdom, and the adoration of the people. most importantly, he will be a true family man, qualities you sorely lack.”
sunghoon’s jaw clenched, and eyes fell to the floor, his father's words cutting through him like a blade. he felt as if he was nothing more than a pampered fool, unworthy of the love he sought and the life he was born into. he clenched his fists, struggling to push back the crushing weight of his own insecurities.
“she will wed jaeyun, and if you possess even a shred of regard for her well-being, you will abandon this foolish defiance. if your love for her is genuine, then you will step aside with dignity, for any further insolence will only bring suffering upon her—suffering caused by your own unworthy and unlovable nature.” with those final words, the kind left no room for further discussion, his decision made clear.
his heart, once filled with certainty and defiance, now cracked under the weight of doubt. he felt a wave of self-loathing wash over him. the king’s contemptuous questions echoed in his mind, making him question his worth and his place in the world. was he truly so unfit to love you? had his anger and resentment blinded him to his own flaws? was jaeyun truly the better man—the one who could offer you everything sunghoon never could? the thought of stepping aside, of watching you live a life with jaeyun, made his chest tighten with unbearable pain. he had always believed you were his, that his love was enough, but now... now, he wasn’t sure of anything.
a dark seed of insecurity planted itself in his heart, twisting his anger into something deeper, more dangerous. it was no longer just about losing his birthright; now, it was about losing you, the one person who made him feel like more than just a shadow. the idea of you loving jaeyun, of smiling for him the way you once smiled for sunghoon, was enough to drive him mad. but still, the king’s words echoed in his mind: if you truly love her, you will let her go. and for the first time in his life, sunghoon didn’t know if he was strong enough to do that.
and as he watched you across the table one dinner night, his gaze never left you. he observed your every movement as you sat beside jaeyun, the way your hand delicately rested near his, how jaeyun leaned closer to speak with you. every soft smile you gave jaeyun felt like a dagger in his chest. sunghoon’s jaw tightened as he gripped his cup, a torrent of emotions raging inside him.
that should be me.
she should be marrying me, not him.
unable to take it any longer, sunghoon abruptly stood, the sound of his chair scraping across the floor echoing through the room. all eyes shifted towards him, but he didn’t care. his gaze remained fixed on you.
“this charade has gone on long enough,” sunghoon declared, his voice cutting through the murmur of conversation. “i have no time for this.”
the king’s face darkened with anger as he seethed, his voice harsh and commanding. “sit down, sunghoon. the evening is not over, yet.”
sunghoon met his father’s glare with a defiant stare. “i refuse to be part of this farce,” he replied sharply. his eyes then shifted to you, and in that fleeting moment, his gaze was filled with longing. “i will take my leave now, your majesty.”
without waiting for a response, he turned on his heel and strode out of the hall, his footsteps echoing as he made his way toward the exit. he threw one last meaningful glance over his shoulder, his eyes lingering on you with an intensity that spoke of all he couldn’t say. the door slammed shut behind him, leaving an empty seat and a heavy silence in his wake.
that night, sunghoon knew for certain that he couldn’t bear the thought of jaeyun’s hands on you. even the mere idea of jaeyun taking what was meant to be sunghoon’s was unbearable. his insecurities, his pain, all fed into a singular, desperate resolve: he would make you his. you might be promised to jaeyun by royal decree, but sunghoon would make sure that it was his touch, his smell, his presence, that lingered in your thoughts, that stayed with you long after the wedding vows were spoken. he couldn’t let jaeyun steal this last piece of his world, and he was willing to keep you tied to him, heart and soul.
*
you wander through the garden, eyes scanning the surroundings as you search for your lover. you find him in his garden, as always. the early morning sun bathes the greenery in a soft, golden glow, its light just beginning to filter through the trees. the air is crisp, but you feel a simmering frustration inside as you approach sunghoon, who stands with his back to you, staring into the distance.
"what was that all about last night?" you ask, your tone sharp but not quite angry. it’s more of an irritated curiosity, the kind that demands an answer but without real fury behind it.
he doesn’t turn immediately, but you can see the tension in his posture. after a moment, he glances over his shoulder, eyes meeting yours.
“you can’t seriously be asking me that.” he says quietly, though there’s an edge to his voice.
“i am,” you reply, stepping closer. “i don’t understand why you acted that way in front of everyone.”
sunghoon finally turns to face you fully, crossing his arms as he leans back against the stone bench. his gaze is intense, like the morning sun itself. “what else was i supposed to do? sit there and pretend everything’s fine? pretend i don’t care when jaeyun’s sitting next to you like-” he cuts himself off, jaw tightening.
you sigh, crossing your own arms. “you can’t keep doing that, sunghoon. storming off, making a scene. it only makes things harder.”
“for who?” he snaps. “for me? for you? or for that bastard, who gets everything handed to him while i-” his voice wavers before he swallows hard, regaining his composure.
there’s a beat of silence between you two, the only sound being the soft rustle of the leaves in the breeze. the frustration still lingers in the air, but underneath it is something deeper, unspoken, pulling at both of you.
abruptly, sunghoon closes the gap, his hands finding your cheeks with a surprising tenderness. the suddenness of his touch makes your breath hitch, your heart skipping a beat as his fingers brush lightly against your skin, holding you in place with an intensity that leaves you momentarily frozen.
“you don’t get it, do you, my love?” sunghoon’s voice trembles slightly, his eyes locking onto yours. “you don’t get how i can’t bear to see jaeyun near you,” he says, his nose brushing gently against yours, the touch almost tender, as if he’s trying to bridge the gap between your hearts.
“stop, someone could see us.” you attempt to push him away, but he stands his ground, his body staying firmly in place as if anchored to the spot.
“no, you don’t get that even just the thought of him breathing the same air as you drives me to the edge of madness,” he continues, his voice growing more urgent. “you, my love, don’t get how much it hurts that he has what should be mine - that you are to wed him, even when you should only be mine.” sunghoon’s grip tightens on your cheeks, his eyes never leaving yours.
you hold his wrists, your voice filled with emotion. “don’t say it like that, sunghoon. i am yours, always and forever. not a day goes by that i am not yours. i shall be yours forever. my beloved prince, the only thing keeping us apart is the world. i need you to feel and know that nothing, not even a promise or a crown, can ever change the reality of who we are.”
the weight of everything presses down on you in that moment, his touch, his words, the sharp edge of the world you both live in. your mind spins, torn between the life you've been forced into and the one you yearn for. sunghoon’s desperation, his jealousy, mirrors the conflict in your own heart. a part of you wishes you could forget the chains that bind you to the kingdom, to jaeyun, to duty. but reality is there.
you know the risks, the consequences that will follow if you give in to this, yet here you are, heart racing, palms sweaty, trembling under his touch. sunghoon’s love is overwhelming, but a part of you craves it. it’s been so long since you’ve felt that from anyone. he wants you fully, without restraint, and that truth fills your chest with warmth, even though it terrifies you.
but there’s guilt, too. jaeyun. the wedding. the vows you haven’t spoken yet but are bound by, nonetheless. you wonder if there’s a way out, if you could ever find peace in the chaos that surrounds you. you want to reach out, to close the gap that has been forced between you.
despite the anxiety swirling within you, sunghoon’s presence feels like a powerful anchor, grounding you in a way nothing else can. his closeness, his unwavering focus on you, drowns out the chaos and fear. his love feels like both a burden and a gift, but in this moment, you realize how deeply you want to bear it.
“i want to show you a place,” you say quietly, your voice steadying as you pull back just enough to meet his gaze.
his brow furrows slightly, curiosity flickering in his eyes.
you take his hand in yours, lacing your fingers together. “come with me.”
you lead sunghoon deeper into the forest, the trees growing denser with every step. branches twist together overhead, blocking out most of the light, casting the two of you in shadows. it’s a narrow, almost overgrown path—one that seems untouched, hidden from the world.
after several minutes of walking in silence, sunghoon speaks up "where are you taking me?"
you glance over your shoulder, offering a small smile. “i know a place. somewhere no one will find us. just us.”
he doesn’t press further, and you continue the trek, leading him through the maze of trees. the forest seems almost impenetrable, the thick canopy overhead making it feel as if the world outside doesn’t exist. it’s as though you’ve left everything behind- the kingdom, the responsibilities, jaeyun - all of it feels far away here.
finally, after what feels like a long walk, the trees begin to part, but not in any obvious way. the path narrows further, and you have to push aside a thick cluster of branches. beyond the trees, the hidden lake comes into view, shrouded by the dense foliage that surrounds it. its surface is perfectly still, barely catching any sunlight from the sky above. it’s a place that could easily go unnoticed, tucked away in this forgotten corner of the forest.
you step aside to let sunghoon take in the view, the two of you standing at the edge of the water. “this is it,” you say softly. “no one ever comes here. it’s just us.”
sunghoon’s grip on your hand loosening slightly as his eyes scan the serene scene before you both. the hidden lake is breathtaking, a secret world untouched by the palace’s watchful eyes. the soft rustle of leaves in the breeze and the gentle ripple of water are the only sounds breaking the silence between you.
after a moment, he speaks, his voice laced with curiosity. “how did you come to know of this place?” he glances at you, brow raised. “i’ve lived here my whole life, and yet i was unaware of its existence.”
you flash him a cocky smile, a teasing glint in your eyes. "the castle walls are thin," you say with a playful tone, leaning in slightly. "i overheard one of the servants talking about it."
sunghoon lets out a quiet chuckle, shaking his head. “so, the esteemed princess of the east takes it upon herself to eavesdrop on the musings of servants?”
you laugh, shrugging. "sometimes it pays off. i couldn’t resist coming to see if it was real. and now..."
your gaze grows more sultry, a hint of mischief dancing in your eyes. you step closer, fingers brushing lightly against his chest as you slowly unfasten the buttons of his blouse. the intimate gesture shifts the mood, and the air around you becomes charged with a new, heated energy.
“and now,” you say again softly, your voice a mere whisper against his ear, “i think it’s time we enjoy this secret together, don’t you?”
sunghoon’s breath catches, and eyes darken at your words, faces inches away from each other.
the blouse slips off his shoulders, exposing the smooth lines of his chest. his hand reaches for your wrist, guiding it to rest gently on his chest, where you can feel the rapid thrum of his heartbeat beneath your fingertips. he holds your gaze, a silent question lingering in his eyes, waiting for you to respond to the unspoken invitation.
without warning, you grasp the back of his neck, your fingers tangling in his hair as you pull him toward you with a forceful urgency. his eyes widen in surprise, but they quickly soften as your lips crash against his. the kiss is fierce, filled with the passion and frustration that have been building between you, a desperate need to close the distance that has always existed.
sunghoon’s breath catches in his throat as he responds, his hands moving to cradle your face, pulling you closer as if trying to fuse your very beings together.
he pulls away just enough to catch his breath. he speaks with a voice rough and filled with an almost primal need. “do you crave me too like i crave you, y/n?” then, he moves to your neck, his breath hot against your skin as he presses a series of burning kisses along your collarbone. "like i crave your body, every inch of you,” he murmurs between kisses, "the way you feel against me, the sound of your breath, the taste of your skin. please, i need all of you."
“then have me, my beloved. have me all to yourself.”
your breaths mingle, warm and ragged, as you stay close. sunghoon’s hands slide to the front of your kirtle, his fingers finding the strings that are secured at your chest and he works them loose.
as the kirtle loosens, it gradually falls away from your shoulders, exposing your bare body to his appreciative eyes. sunghoon’s gaze roams over you with unabashed hunger, his eyes lingering on the curve of your breasts, the softness of your skin. the sight of you, fully revealed, makes his breath quicken and his eyes darken with raw, intense desire. he takes in every detail with a mixture of awe and possessiveness, as if he’s discovering a hidden treasure that belongs only to him.
to him, you are nothing short of a blessing, a gift that he feels unworthy of receiving. his breath catches as he takes in every curve, every detail, his heart swelling with an overwhelming sense of adoration. he feels blessed just to be in your presence, to witness you like this.
"you’re more beautiful than i ever dreamed." he whispers, his voice reverent, filled with a deep, unshakable awe.
he slowly removes his breeches, freeing himself from its confines, his movements unhurried. as his garment falls away, your eyes linger on him for a moment, drawn to the sight of his exposed manhood. a rush of heat floods your cheeks. your gaze trails over his physique, the hard lines of muscle and the evidence of his arousal, standing proudly before you.
sunghoon smirks at the shy look in your eyes before he reaches for your hand with a gentle yet firm grip, guiding you toward the shimmering surface of the lake. his touch is both reassuring and electrifying as he leads you into the cool, inviting water, the gentle ripples caressing your skin as you step together into the embrace of the lake’s serene depths.
“now, aren’t you my swan?” he murmurs, his voice soft. with deliberate slowness, he reaches out, brushing aside the strands of hair that had been modestly shielding your breasts. “such beauty, such grace. oh my lord, is it all for me, my love?”
sunghoon pulls you closer, his chest pressing firmly against yours as his lips find yours once again, the kiss deeper and more fervent. the gentle waves lap at your skin, but the only thing you feel is him, his hands gripping your waist, his lips moving in sync with yours, the sheer desire in the way he touches you.
his hands roam over your back, the cool water contrasting with the fire that blazes between your bodies. you feel the way his fingers press into your skin, the possessive grip of someone who has craved you for too long, unable to hold back anymore. his breath is ragged against your lips, each kiss hotter and hungrier than the last.
"you're all mine, right?" he whispers between kisses, and you can only softly hum as an answer.
his lips move down the column of your neck, nipping and sucking gently at the sensitive skin, drawing soft moans from your lips. hands sliding down to your hips, pulling you flush against him, and you can feel the hardness of his cock pressing against your thigh beneath the water. a rush of heat surges through you, mixing with the cool sensation of the lake, and your hands instinctively grip his shoulders, steadying yourself as his kisses grow more fervent, more desperate.
sunghoon's lips trail lower, grazing over your collarbone and down toward your chest, his breath hot against your damp skin. every touch sends shivers through your body, your pulse quickening as his hands explore the curves of your waist, your hips, your ass. he tilts his head back up, head resting on the valley of your tits, eyes locked onto yours with a look of pure hunger.
the voice is low and hoarse as he breathes against your skin, “please tell me you’re mine, i need to hear it. i need to know you’re only mine. that no one else will ever have you like this.” his hands tighten slightly on your waist, his gaze burning into yours, desperate for your answer. "say it, please… that you’re mine, now and always." his breath shaky, waiting for you to respond, his need for reassurance almost as overwhelming as his desire for you.
you cradle his cheeks in your hands, your eyes softening. “in this moment, and every moment that follows, i am wholly yours. i promise you, my dearest, no one else will ever touch me, love me, or have me like you do. only you have this piece of me, forever.” you pull him for a kiss, pouring every ounce of your affection and reassurance into it. his grip on you tightens, and before you realize it, he has you pressed up against the edge of the lake, your back against the cool stone as he leans into you, while his lips continue to caress yours with a loving, unhurried rhythm.
his hands roam freely now, the water sloshing gently around you as his touch becomes bolder. the tension that’s been simmering between you for so long has reached its breaking point, and neither of you can resist it any longer. you can feel every inch of him against you, the heat, the longing, the urgency in the way he holds you.
“i want you to make love to me, sunghoon.”
sunghoon’s eyes darken with a fierce intensity as he hears your plea. he pulls back slightly, his breath mingling with yours. “i’ve waited my whole life for this, my love.”
as sunghoon captures your lips once more, the kiss quickly deepens. he bites down on your lower lip, causing you to whine into his mouth. seizing the opportunity, he slips his tongue into your moist heat, seeking yours with fevered urgency. his movements are messy, growing hungrier and sloppier with each passing second. the way his mouth devours yours, the slick heat of his tongue against yours, makes it feel as though you’re both desperately trying to claim every part of the other.
your breath falters when his hands move to your breasts, fingers curling around them with a firm, possessive grip. his palms brush over your sensitive nipples, sending jolts of pleasure through your body. it overwhelms you, and you break the kiss, your forehead resting against his as you pant softly. a thin string of saliva still connects your parted lips. unwavered, he begins to massage, kneading the soft flesh with a steady rhythm, your gazes locked. the pressure of his hands send waves of slick pooling in your cutn, each squeeze making your nipples tighten even more.
then he lowers himself to the same height as your nipples, taking one into his mouth and beginning to suck it like a parched man at an oasis. with a consuming rhythm, his tongue tracing circles around the sensitive peak. he lavishes the same attention on the other, his fingers deftly rolling and pinching the neglected nipple. the combined sensations of his warm, eager mouth and the stimulation from his fingers cause a moan to escape your lips before you can hold it back. you bite down on your lower lip in a futile attempt to stifle the sound, but your body betraying you as quiet gasps escape.
he pulls away from your nipple with a wet, audible pop and looks at you, his eyes dark with desire. “don’t try to hold back,” he commands, though his voice betrays a hint of need. “i want to hear every sound you make.”
he then attaches himself to your other nipple, wetting it with his saliva like the other one. your hands instinctively grip his hair as you arch your back. his mouth works eagerly, his tongue flicking and sucking with a relentless rhythm. his fingers dip into the water and finds your clit, teasing it with skilled strokes.
the pleasure builds swiftly as he lavishes your breasts with attention, his hot, insistent mouth working in tandem with the relentless stimulation below. the overwhelming sensations push you to the edge, gasps and moans escaping uncontrollably as your body trembles under his touch.
“sunghoon… it feels-” you say, tightening your grip on his hair as you battle to retain your control.
“good? this is nothing compared to what i am about to make you feel, my love.”
suddenly, a loud moan erupts from you as his finger breaches your entrance, sliding inside with a slow, deliberate motion. the new sensation leaves you breathless, your body instinctively pushing back against his hand, wanting more. the sight of him never taking his eyes from your face as he keeps busying his mouth, sucking and teasing your nipple, is an utterly lewd display, his gaze filled with raw desire.
he curls his finger within you, searching for that perfect spot to send you spiraling further into pleasure. every movement of his hand is synchronized with his mouth on your chest, his touch igniting a fire that spreads through your entire body. you feel yourself losing control, the overwhelming pleasure making it harder to hold back your cries.
he inserts another finger inside you, scissoring them to ease you open nicely. you feel a deep pressure building within, like a tightly wound knot yearning to be undone. with each stroke, the tension winds tighter, leaving you aching with a desperate need for release.
“i… ugh please, sunghoon, i wanna cum,” you plead, your voice barely above a whisper, trembling with the urgency of your desire. hearing the desperation in your voice, his fingers hasten, thrusting deeper with a renewed fervor. every stroke sends a jolt of pleasure through you, drawing you closer to the brink, your body instinctively arching towards him as the pressure inside you mounts, ready to burst.
the lake water churns around his rapidly moving wrist, splashing against parts of your body that have remained dry until now. the sudden coolness of the water only heightens your climax as you come undone on his fingers. your broken moans reverberate through the forest, and you can only cling to the hope that no one is nearby to hear you.
sunghoon helps you ride out your orgasm before withdrawing his fingers. gently, he brushes the damp strands of hair clinging to your face from sweat, then cups your face in his hands and captures your lips in a searing kiss. lips moving against each other in a harmonious rhythm, and his tongue dances with yours in a way that feels both urgent and consuming.
sunghoon's fingers trail down the sides of your thighs, gripping hard enough to leave marks, his eyes burning with desire as they wordlessly tell you to prepare yourself.
with a throaty sound, he pulls you up in one swift motion, your body rising from the water as his hands grip your thighs tightly. your legs instinctively wrap around him, pulling him against you as he steps forward, pinning you against the rugged stone, its cold surface digging into your skin.
you cling to his shoulders, nails biting into his skin as he keeps you suspended against the rough stone. his hands move higher up your thighs, fingers digging in as he adjusts his grip, making sure you're locked around him.
you feel the tip of his cock pressing against your folds, the thin layer of water between you doing nothing to cool the growing heat. you both whimper when his hips press forward, cock grinding against your folds in slow, teasing motions.
“sunghoon, don’t tease,” you moan as his cock’s tip presses inside you, then pulls out with a maddening slowness. the slick head brushes against your sensitive inner walls before withdrawing, making your body writhe in frustration. you shiver, your hole gaping as it aches for the fullness that was just barely given. “please, just fill me up. i need you inside me."
hearing your desperate plea, his hips snap forward with a brutal force, the head of his cock slamming deep inside you. a guttural groan rumbles from his throat as he fills you completely, stretching you with a pressure so intense it makes you shiver. you moan loudly, your walls clamping down around him, trying to accommodate his hard, throbbing length.
he wastes no time, thrusting into you with a relentless pace, each motion driving him deeper, his cock dragging along your inner walls with an intoxicating friction. the raw and rough feeling of him moving in and out makes your body quiver with intense pleasure.
he thrusts into you with such unrelenting force that each powerful stroke causes you to bounce up and down on his cock, making your tits jiggle with every thrust, moving rhythmically to match his powerful rhythm. his strong arms, wrapped securely around your thighs, keep you steady; without his firm hold, you would surely topple into the water.
while he continues to drive into you, he lowers his mouth to your collarbone and begins to kiss, bite and lick the sensitive skin there. his lips are hot and insistent, trailing a path of fiery pleasure along your neck and shoulders. your mouth falls open in a breathless gasp, the only sounds escaping you are guttural moans of ugh ugh ugh that reverberate in the air.
as the pressure inside you mounts, your fingers claw at his back, leaving angry red trails as you cling to him for support. each thrust he delivers feels impossibly deep, his cock stretching you to the brink with every powerful movement.
your climax builds rapidly, and you clench around him, muscles spasming around his cock with intense need. you can hardly keep your moans in check, the sound of your gasps mingling with the rhythmic slapping of flesh.
feeling the way your pussy tightens around him, he growls low and rough into your ear, his voice dripping with lust. “you’re so tight, my love, i can barely hold on. perfectly wrapped around my cock like you were made for me.” his filthy words drive you even closer to the edge. your head is thrown back, eyes shut tight, your body quaking uncontrollably as you come undone around his cock.
he continues to thrust into you with relentless intensity. your body, already sensitive and over-stimulated from your recent climax, quakes with every powerful motion. the sensation of his hard cock pounding inside you is nearly overwhelming, making it difficult to catch your breath as the relentless pleasure surges through you.
as he feels the pressure building within him, he pulls out abruptly, the sudden emptiness making you gasp and shiver. his grip on you tightens with one strong arm, keeping you pressed between the wall and his chest. with his other hand, he begins to pump his throbbing cock furiously, his movements desperate and urgent. each stroke is fast and rough, his hand sliding up and down his length with a frenzied rhythm as he chases his own climax.
his breath grows ragged and uneven, his groans becoming more guttural as he nears the edge. the water around begins to ripple with his frantic movements, the sound of his pleasure mingling with your own gasps. finally, with a low, throaty growl, he reaches his peak, his body convulsing as thick, hot streams of cum shoot from the tip of his cock. the warmth of his release spills into the water, mixing with the ripples created by your own tremors.
as he finishes, his hand slows, and he gasps for breath, still clutching you. the lake is tainted with his cum, turning the clear water cloudy with its creamy white streaks.
sunghoon carefully lets you down, his hands slowly loosening their grip on your thighs but keeping you close, never fully letting go. your bodies remain pressed together, slick with sweat and lake water, your skin sticking to his as your chests rise and fall in sync, catching your breath. his forehead rests against yours, the warmth of his skin comforting. between you, his cock, now soft but still thick, rests against your stomach, a reminder of how nice and hard he’d just fucked you.
his lips trail across your face, soft and unhurried, each kiss deliberate and warm. the gentle brush of his nose against your cheek sends a shiver through you as he moves down to your neck, his breath hot against your skin. "i love you," he whispers, the words barely audible but filled with a deep sincerity, his voice low and intimate.
his arms remain around you, holding you close as he pulls back just enough to look into your eyes. "you're mine," he murmurs, his tone firmer now, possessive but tender.
sunghoon gently guides you out of the lake, his grip both firm and tender, ensuring your safety on the uneven ground. as you step onto the soft grass, he supports you, his hands brushing away droplets of water from your skin.
he retrieves your kirtle from where it was set aside. as he holds it up, his fingers brush your skin, sending a shiver through you. he helps you into the kirtle, the material clinging slightly as it slips over your body. sunghoon fastens the straps with a practiced touch, his fingers lingering on the delicate fabric. each movement is meticulous, as if he’s trying to memorize every detail of this fleeting moment.
as sunghoon finishes fastening the last strap of your kirtle, his thoughts drift to the bittersweet reality of your situation. he feels incredibly fortunate to have shared such a deep connection with you, to have experienced your love and to hold you in his arms. the warmth of the moment, the way you look at him, and the way your body fits against his all fill him with a profound sense of luck.
yet, this profound sense of luck is tempered by a heavy dose of misfortune. the knowledge that you will soon leave his side to return to jaeyun and the duties that come with being by his side weighs heavily on him. the thought of you being with someone else, especially that someone being jaeyun, fills him with an ache he can’t easily shake.
sunghoon’s heart longs for more than just these moments. he wishes he could take you far away from the constraints of the kingdom, from jaeyun, and from the burdens of duty. he dreams of a place where the only thing that matters is the two of you, where worries and obligations don’t intrude on your happiness.
for now, though, all he can do is hold you close, cherish the time you have together, and hope that one day, he can make his dream of a life together away from everything else a reality.
“if only we could remain like this forever.” hee murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper, holding you close one last time before you part again. as he drapes his blouse over your shoulders to shield you from the morning breeze, he presses a soft kiss to your neck, his touch lingering with a tender warmth.
*
being with sunghoon is not without its difficulties. each moment together demands a careful balance, where every look and touch is meticulously controlled to keep your affair with him under wraps.
over the years, you've both perfected this unspoken language. a fleeting glance, a slight tilt of the head, or a barely perceptible smile - all of these become powerful tools in your covert exchanges. it’s an intricate dance of subtlety and intuition, where a single look can convey a world of emotions and thoughts. you've learned to read each other's cues with astonishing accuracy, understanding what the other is saying without a single word being spoken.
sunghoon, for instance, has become adept at detecting the smallest signs of your distress. he can sense when you're upset by the way your gaze momentarily drifts or how your smile falters just a fraction too long. a subtle furrow of your brow or the way you avoid direct eye speaks volumes to him. he’s attuned to these subtle signals, knowing instantly when something is amiss.
just like always, he notices how your body language shifts subtly right now too - the way you absently fidget with your dress or how your gaze drifts towards the window, clearly searching for an escape from the stifling room. it’s evident to him that you're not enjoying the conversation between your older brother jongseong and jaeyun, as they drone on about politics and subjects that bore you to tears.
sunghoon’s eyes narrow slightly as he watches you, his concern masked by a composed expression. he can see the restlessness in your posture, the way you shift your weight from one foot to the other. every now and then, you glance at the door as if willing it to open and offer a reprieve.
oh, the ways he could make you feel good, unlike jaeyun who is making you listen political matters that you couldn’t care less.
he could slip his fingers inside you, feeling every tight, hot inch as he stroked and teased those sensitive spots, making you writhe with overwhelming pleasure. his mouth could bury itself between your legs, lapping up your sweet nectar and driving you wild with every skilled lick and insistent suck. and his cock, it could plunge deep inside you, filling you to the hilt and delivering a relentless, mind-shattering pleasure that no other man could ever hope to match.
he fantasizes about taking you in this very room, in front of jaeyun, to prove just how much you crave him and need him to make you forget everything else. sunghoon imagines your body responding to his touch, the sounds of your moans calling out his name, and how he could bring you to a peak of pleasure that leaves you utterly spent, all while jaeyun watches as soon-to-be-bride being ravished by him.
the vivid images make sunghoon’s pants tighten. he shifts slightly, trying to adjust his position discreetly, but the growing tension in his trousers becomes impossible to ignore. he knows he needs to act on his desire, and quickly. sunghoon subtly shifts his gaze towards you, his eyes locking with yours for a fleeting moment, filled with a smoldering intensity. then, with a casual but deliberate movement, he crosses his arms over his chest and leans slightly against the wall.
his stance is carefully crafted to appear nonchalant, but his posture is intentionally relaxed, his body angled in a way that draws your attention to the slight, purposeful pressure he applies against the wall with his hip. it’s a subtle but unmistakable signal, a quiet, urgent plea for you to follow him, to find a way to get closer, and to address the growing need he has ignited within him.
as you notice his silent message, you decide to make an excuse to leave the room. you mumble about needing to step outside for some fresh air, citing a vague headache that has suddenly come on. your voice is calm, but there's an edge of urgency as you quickly exit the room.
jaeyun’s gaze follows you as you leave, his eyes revealing a depth of unspoken emotions. though his expression is subdued, there’s a quiet longing in his stare. it’s more than just idle curiosity; his look reflects a mix of disappointment and a barely concealed yearning, as he silently observes your departure with a sense of unvoiced heartache.
sunghoon, noticing the subtle shift in jaeyun’s demeanor, lets a smirk creep onto his face. he meets jaeyun’s gaze with a knowing, almost triumphant expression before turning to follow you out of the room. the smirk lingers on his lips as he exits, leaving jaeyun behind, whose eyes remain fixed on the door, his expression a blend of wistful longing and resignation.
even as you're bouncing on his cock vigorously, sunghoon’s triumphant grin stays fixed, relishing the intense pleasure that the bastard never can have.
he lays on his back, eyes fixed on the way your breasts bounce with each thrust. gripping your hips tightly, he guides you to ride him harder and faster, ensuring to make sure you don’t miss a single stroke. with each movement, he takes satisfaction in the control he has over your body, his pleasure intensifying as he brings you closer to your peak.
as you cum, your body convulses with intense pleasure, and you collapse onto Sunghoon’s chest, trembling. he groans deeply, pulling out of you with a rough jerk. his thick, hot cum spills between your thighs, seeping down your skin. sunghoon, still catching his breath, carefully lays you onto your side, his eyes fixed on the mess he’s made.
with a satisfied smirk, he strokes your hair, his eyes fixed on the mess he’s made
, his cum glistening on your flushed skin. he watches intently as it trickles slowly down your inner thighs, savoring every drop. his hands, now resting possessively on your hips, hold you close, feeling the warmth of your spent body pressed against him. his breathing is ragged, each inhale a testament to the raw pleasure and control he’s reveling in. the scene of his dominance, with you at his mercy, drives him to the brink of satisfaction as he admires the evidence of his claim.
“you are breathtaking, my love.”
you smile faintly, your eyes barely open as you lay beside him, your body still trembling from the aftershocks of your climax. sunghoon’s gaze softens slightly, his smirk giving way to a genuine, if tired, smile. he runs his fingers gently over your skin, savoring the warmth and softness of you against him.
“i want us to leave all of this behind,” he says quietly, his voice a blend of resolve and affection. “this palace, the endless expectations, the life that’s been forced upon us—let’s abandon it all. i need you with me, y/n, far away from here, where we can build something real and ours. a place where no one knows our names, where we can escape from all the burdens and start anew.”
he gently squeezes your hand, his expression earnest and hopeful. “imagine a life where we’re not bound by duty or tradition, where we can simply be ourselves, where we don’t need to hide from everyone.”
as soon as you part your lips to say his name, “sunghoon…” his hand reaches up to gently cup your cheek, silencing you with a soft touch. his eyes are intense, filled with longing, but also with a flicker of hope as he continues.
“i know what you're going to say,” he murmurs, his voice unwavering. “but just hear me out.” he moves closer, his forehead almost resting against yours as his words spill out with quiet urgency. “we could go north, far beyond the mountains, to a place where no one knows us. i could build us a home, nothing grand, just something simple. you’ve always wanted a small house and a farm, haven’t you? somewhere quiet, peaceful, where we can live on our own terms.”
his thumb brushes over your lips, his tone growing more earnest. “i’ll work the land. i'll give you everything you need. no more castle walls, no more titles or duties. just us. we could wake up with the sun, plant gardens, raise animals, and fall asleep under the stars. you always say sheep are cute, i could get you a whole flock if you want.” you don’t miss the quivering in his voice as he rambles continuously, “imagine… you, tending to them every morning, their soft wool in your hands. maybe a little goat or two as well, something to make you smile every day. that’s all i want, y/n—a life with you, away from this place, away from everything that’s held us back.”
sunghoon’s eyes glisten slightly as he searches yours, his grip on your cheeks tightening ever so slightly. “we could have a life we’ve only dreamed of.”
your eyes glisten with unshed tears as you hold his gaze, a faint, broken smile tugging at your lips. “sunghoon,” you whisper, your voice wavering. “you don’t even believe those words.”
his face falters for a moment, the hope in his eyes dimming just slightly, but his grip on you remains firm. "i do," he insists, his voice low, almost pleading. “i believe it-”
"you want to believe it," you interrupt gently, your voice cracking. "and believe me, i want to too. i'd love to wake up next to you, tend to sheep, live that simple life… but we can’t, sunghoon." your eyes well with tears as you hold his gaze, the broken smile fading. "we can’t just leave it all behind. it’s not that simple as it sounds.”
“please don’t say no, y/n,” he says quietly, his voice cracking with the weight of his plea. he holds you close, his grip firm but gentle.
“i’m sorry, Sunghoon,” you whisper, your voice breaking. “i wish things were different. i wish we could escape and live that life together, but i just can’t.”
sunghoon's face crumples with the weight of your words. his shoulders slump as if the very air has been knocked from his lungs. the passionate fervor in his eyes dims, replaced by a deep, aching sadness. his grip on you tightens momentarily, as if trying to hold onto the fleeting hope you offered, but the strength quickly ebbs away.
the light that once danced in his eyes is now overshadowed by a shadow of despair. he swallows hard, his chest rising and falling unevenly as he struggles to contain the storm of emotions raging within him. his hands, which had been tenderly cupping your face, now fall limply to his sides.
it hits him hard. that you being with jaeyun and playing the role of his wife is like a knife in his heart. he has a tremendous feeling of hopelessness, knowing that he can no longer fight for the life he always dreamed.
the thought of never being able to claim you openly or stand by your side without hiding makes him feel confined and smothered. he future he wished for is now permanently out of reach.
he knows that, even if he were to try and find a semblance of normalcy, he will always be living in the shadow of jaeyun.
This!!!
if anyone here is trying to defend taeil, please feel free to unfollow and block me right now. it’s true that i never would have thought he could do something so disgusting and vile. it’s true that he hasn’t been trialled and found guilty by the court as of yet. but there’s a difference between rumours spread by netizens and an official statement released by the company.
we don’t know these people. we don’t know what goes on behind the cameras when no one is looking. there is absolutely no reason for us to believe everything that they tell us, and i am not going to blindly follow someone just because they were my comfort person, or my fave, or whatever. remember that people like taeil are meant to make us love them. they’re meant to put on a mask. they’re meant to make us follow them, to worship the ground they walk on—that’s why they’re called idols. but we can’t afford to let our own bias cloud our ability to see the truth.
think of me as an older sister for a second, giving you advice from the bottom of my heart. i really hope that any young followers of mine who may be seeing this, and especially any young girls, would please remember this: as someone who has seen for themselves just how easy it is for people we trust wholeheartedly to betray us—think for yourself, do not follow people without thought. not every person is going to hurt you, but not every person is as kind as you think. so never trust the image that people show you—especially if they’re entertainers, and especially if they’re men.
SUMMARY your new neighbors, the parks seem like the perfect family. they are not, you soon realize. the park’s daughter adores you, her mother’s distaste for you the far opposite of that. the worst part of it? you’ve got mr. park wrapped around your finger, and you’re not sure if it’s love, lust, or obsession he’s fueled by.
WARNINGS mdni, smut, infidelity, blackmail, more to be added.
CURRENT WC fic -> 3.2k+ and counting | teaser -> 0.4k (march 17)
PLAYLIST sad girl → lana. pretty when you cry → lana. nervous → the nbhd. the hills → the weeknd.
AUTHORS NOTE sunghoon is actually rotting my brain. sunghoon is a morally grey dick in this b/c what better way to cope with delusion than a dilf sunghoon fic?
TAGLIST (open) @alvojake @chaewonshoney @moon7jay @nyxtwixx @yizhoutv
Sunghoon heaves a sigh, warm breath tickling your jaw because of how close he is to you. You can see how tense he is, see it in the way his shoulders raise and feel it in the way his hands sit on your waist.
“My wife’s upstairs and I’m here, hiding in a storage closet, with you.” He murmurs, shifting so that his leg rests between both of yours. “It’s almost like a game of home wrecking hide and seek.”
“I think there’s another game,” you start to say, a gasp escaping you when he grinds his thigh against the growing wet spot on your panties. “And…it’s just between us.”
His fingers drum against the waistband of your skirt. He hums, thinks about it for a second before moving to whisper in your ear. “And what do you think that game is?
Your breath hitches when his lips press to the spot right under your earlobe. You hate it when he does this—makes you feel like you’re so special. “Cat and mouse.”
“How come?” Sunghoon teases. It’s hard to control the noises you so badly want to make when he’s doing this. There’s the feeling of his lips pressing into your skin, so softly, and you can feel a corner of his lips turn upward into a smirk. “Because of the chase?”
Not just that, you want to tell him. You wish that it could stop there, that you could enjoy it because he’s an older, rich man who’d rather bury you in his sheets than take his wife on a date.
But you know it’s more than just a stupid chase. It’s cat and mouse because you came to him, and allowed yourself to be prey. It’s cat and mouse because you know you’re only fleeting satisfaction before he finds something, someone else. It’s cat and mouse, and it could be wolf and bunny too. Because no matter how you want to see it, in the end, to Sunghoon, you will be nothing more than a light repast.
Except, you don’t say that at all, can’t when he’s starting to press impatient kisses against the side of your neck. “Yeah, because of the chase,” you say, voice just shy of a whimper.
And Sunghoon pulls away, starts to undo the small button on the side of your skirt. You let his fingers work, slowly pull the fabric off of your thighs. You know you’ll let him every time.
“But you like the chase, don’t you?” He asks, concentrating on the way the once smooth skirt becomes ruined, now rumpled by his hands.
Rating: 🔞
Summary: Sunghoon likes being in an on again, off again relationship. It's like a game to him. It makes him feel powerful. Especially with a woman so in love with him, that she is willing to come running into his bed whenever he beckons her.
Warnings: SUNGHOON IS A TOTAL DISASTER OF A MANIPULATIVE DOUCHE AT FIRST, SMUT, PETNAMES IE; PRINCESS, BABY, DARLING, ANAL PLAY, SPITTING, ACCIDENTAL PREGNANCY
Notes: this is loosely based on fetish by Selena Gomez. I don't feel like proofreading yall. Please, it's not that serious. Btw this is quite possibly the most toxic thing you'll ever read lol but I just gotta get it outta my brain
Power.
It was addicting. Enchanting. She gave herself over to him without so much as a second thought. Released every coherent thought from her mind to give him her full submission. She trusted him, too much perhaps, with her body. Her love, her heart. No matter how many times he pushed her away, she always came crawling back to him, desperately in love. Ready to do any and everything to please him.
"Take it or leave it. Baby, take it or leave it. But I know you won't leave it. 'Cause I know that you need it..."
He sickened himself with the way he'd mock her.
"Back already, Doll? Can't get enough, can you? It's been how long? Two days? That's a new record. Are you that obsessed with my dick?"
Sunghoon hated himself sometimes. Because despite his actions, he really did love her. But this cat and mouse game, this torture he put her through, had become almost a form of foreplay to him. He reveled in the way she cried and begged him to come back to her. The way she fell completely apart in his absence. The longing for him in her eyes when he returned. She'd sit obediently at his feet. Naked, wet, and begging for his attention. His affection. Anything. His trapped little mouse.
His love was consuming. Unique. An experience that she knew no one else could give her. It felt like ecstasy shooting through her veins and like a noose tightening around her neck. Like warm rays of sunshine and cold, dark, thunderous clouds. She knew she could never live without it. But she also knew that love shouldn't feel like this. She tried to have more respect for herself. She needed it, actually. Especially given the news she had just discovered this morning... She tried to leave. But she could never seem to stay away. She found herself pondering over this very fact as she lay in his bed, listening to the harsh droplets of rain beating against the window.
"Come here, baby. You were gone a whole week this time. I missed you." He nuzzled his face into the crook of her bare neck, giddy with the elation of having fucked her into oblivion for his own selfish satisfaction. She was almost able to convince herself that this was a normal and healthy relationship.
"Don't wait so long next time."
Next time.
Next. Fucking. Time.
She knew what that meant. It meant he'd get bored within the next week or two and tell her it was over once again. It meant that he'd leave her there, her heart bleeding out from his emotional torment while he disappeared completely unscathed. Only to return with a pretty smile and a hard dick, enough to make her forget all of the pain he put her through.
Something snapped inside of her.
She promptly sat up, untangling herself from within his long limbs. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, bristling when she felt the length of his finger trailing down the curve of her spine.
"Oh? Have I struck a nerve, darling?" That damned condescending tone. She could hear the grin in his voice.
"There won't be a next time, Sunghoon. This is it. I'm done. I get to leave this time," She tried to keep her tone even and stern. She knew that if he heard even an inkling of wavering, he'd overpower her, turn this whole thing around and have her begging for him like the pathetic slut he made her.
She was taking his power away. Protecting her sanity and mental well-being had never been as important as it was now. He was equal parts amused and alarmed internally. Since when did she get to change the rules of the game?
"Then go."
He knew she wouldn't. Couldn't. Calling her bluff seemed like a smart idea at first. After all, they both knew how desperate she was for him. He didn't think he could lose, but as she stood up and began gathering her clothes, his hands began to shake. Could it be that he had finally pushed her just a bit too far?
"It's late, darling." She frustratedly tugged her sweatpants on, hopping on one foot as she jammed her socks on as well. "And raining. You're terrible at driving in the rain." Why was it so hard for him to ask her to stay?
"Like you care," She scoffed to herself.
She decided to forgo the bra, yanking his her hoodie over her head and storming out the room without as much as a goodbye. She was doing everything in her power to convince herself that this was it. That she didn't need him anymore. He tugged on his briefs and followed behind at a lazy pace, resting his forearms over the railing as he watched her from the top of the staircase.
He watched as she yanked his door open, heart pounding, as he anticipated her next move. She stood, seemingly frozen for what felt like an eternity. A depraved smile spread across his face as she slowly shut the door, unable to even cross the threshold. Her head thudded softly against the door as her frame shook from quiet sobs.
"I'm not surprised. I sympathize. I can't deny, your appetite. You got a fetish for my love. I push you out and you come right back..."
Just as he suspected, she was too weak, too in love, too powerless to leave. He hated how much he loved this. He took his time descending the stairs.
"I thought you said you were leaving? Change your mind?"
"Why?" She hiccuped. "Why can't you just love me the way I love you?" And why was she so weak for him? This was not the time to fall for his charms again. Life was forcing her to make a choice. But maybe she could have just one more night....
"I do love you, Darling-"
"You don't! All you do is leave me. And push me away. All the time. I have no idea where you go the majority of the time. Or who you're with. You could be out fucking who knows how many other women. And I'm just the only one dumb enough to keep crawling back to you. I'm such a fucking idiot." The feeling of his lips pressing gentle kisses into her neck made the hot tears roll down her cheeks more profusely.
"I don't appreciate you suggesting that I'm out fucking other women. Because I'm not. And you know I'm not. And again, if you're so unhappy with what I do, then leave."
"You know I can't, Sunghoon," She whimpered feeling absolutely pathetic.
"And why not? I want to hear you say it."
"Because. No matter how bad this hurts, I love you too fucking much to leave you."
"That's right, baby. Cause you love me too fuckin' much."
"Reaching your limit. Say you're reaching your limit. Going over your limit, but I know you can't quit it..."
Her breath caught in her throat as she felt his long fingers hook into the waistband of her sweatpants. He eased them down her legs, along with her panties. He gripped a handful of her fat ass, before spanking her harshly.
"Get your pretty ass back up those stairs." She sniffled and wiped her tears before turning to walk back up the stairs.
"No, sweetheart. I want you to crawl for me."
That shit eating grin on his face made her want to kill him and marry him at the same time. Nevertheless, she maintained eye contact with him as she sunk to her knees and began crawling. It was degrading and humiliating and it was making her tight little cunt uncomfortably wet. She could feel his gaze on her as she crawled up the steps, his eyes drinking in her clenching anal passage and the small, gushy hole of her pussy.
"What a good girl. Crawling for me. With your pretty little holes on display, just waiting for me to use them. You look so fucking pretty, Doll." His cock twitched when he saw the way she was clenching and tightening in excitement. It felt like it took ages for them to reenter his bedroom.
"Up. Up on the bed." She scrambled to comply, lying flat on her back and spreading her legs wide for him to settle in between. But he didn't. Instead he sauntered away into his closet, only to return with three small boxes.
"What do you say.....we try something new tonight, my darling love, huh?"
"What's that?"
"Toys," The wolfish grin on his face meant trouble.
"What kind of toys?"
"Do you trust me?"
"Yes."
"Safe word?"
"Red."
"Good," Before she could ask any further questions he was opening up the first box and pulling out a pair of handcuffs.
He had restrained her plenty of times, so she barely raised a brow at the sight of the cuffs. He tossed the box to the side, hovering over her and raising her arms above her head. He tugged her hoodie off, leaving her naked beneath him, a familiar and welcome position for him. He intertwined their fingers, leaning down to rub his nose against hers in an Eskimo kiss. He leaned back half an inch, staring deep into her eyes. For a split second she thought she could see the same love she had for him reflecting back at her in his gaze. The clinking of the cuffs closing around her wrists brought her back to reality. He placed a single chaste kiss to her lips before continuing to kiss down, stopping at her neck.
"You know, sweetheart, I really do love you." He was pressing open mouth kisses along the length of her neck, stopping when he got to that one spot that made her shiver.
"I don't want you to ever feel like I don't. Because I do. I just happen to also really enjoy our little game." His lips closed around her sensitive spot, nipping and biting to form a bruise.
He pulled back with a wet pop, continuing his trail of kisses to her chest. He took in a nipple, softly suckling, just the way she liked it as he looked up at her. Brows furrowed and lips set in a perpetual pout, she was so fucking cute it made Sunghoon sick that he had ever hurt her.
"You're so fucking cute. Spread your legs, baby. Wanna play with you." He mumbled around her tit.
She complied, the sticky wet lips of her cunt flowering open as she spread her legs wide. His fingers danced down her abdomen, causing an eruption of involuntary giggles to bubble out of her, and Sunghoon found that her giggles sounded way sweeter to his ears than her sobs. The cold tips of his fingers ghosted over the place she needed him to touch most, her aching, slick covered clit.
"Look at me, my love. I want you to watch me while I pleasure you." Her eyes were still teary when they met his.
He watched as they went hazy and unfocused, her entire body shuddering as he dragged his fingers teasingly up and down the length of her gash. Sunghoon could feel her excitement dripping down his fingers, gathering and spilling out of his palm as he pushed his middle and ring fingers into her pussy. She instinctively clenched around his digits, a whimper escaping her as she felt his fingers crook, massaging her g-spot.
"I have to tell you, honey... I don't take too kindly to you threatening to leave me," She gulped in a mixture of nerves, excitement, and anticipation.
"Let's be honest here," He continued, "You and I both know that I'm it for you."
"I mean... do you really think you'll ever be able to find another man who can touch you like this?"
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, his fingers were abusing her g-spot like never before.
"Something about me got you hooked on my body. Take you over and under and twisted up like origami..."
She wanted to reply. To give him an attitude - no, to give him hell, but the way he was curving his fingers within her core made her brain go foggy. A funny feeling was quickly beginning to bubble up in her stomach. Like butterflies and warm kisses and also a bit like needing to pee. She opened her mouth to warm him, but all that came out was a helpless squeak. The feeling was mounting within her, overwhelming and intense. She wanted to reach out for him, to hold him as she shuddered through what she was sure was about to be a very wet orgasm only to be reminded of the cuffs around her wrist. It was all happening too quickly for her to process, her eyes falling shut and a desperate moan escaping her as he touched her with an expertise that only he possessed.
"I said look at me, slut. You're gonna watch me make this pathetic fucking pussy squirt. You're gonna cum for me again, and again, and again. And you're never gonna threaten to fucking leave me ever again. Because nobody can make you feel as good as I do."
Sunghoon's ego inflated ten fold when he felt her cunt lock tight around his fingers. His chest swelled with pride at the sight of her eyes rolling back, pussy squirting a glimmering arch of clear juices as she screamed in euphoria. He brought his other hand up to toy with her spasming clit, chuckling to himself as it made her squirt another small stream. She was shaking like a leaf, desperately closing her thighs in hopes of getting him to stop overstimulating her.
"N-no! No more, baby, please," She gasped.
"Oh, Sweetheart. We're nowhere near stopping."
He pulled his sopping fingers out of her cunt, smearing her juices across her face before forcing his fingers past her lips.
"Suck."
She complied immediately, taking his long pale fingers into the back of her throat and suckling sloppily. The sight of her plump lips wrapped around his fingers made his dick twitch, a moan escaping him as he pushed deeper into her throat.
"You gonna gag for me, pretty girl? You know how much I fucking love it when you gag," She did exactly that, throat contacting around his digits as her mouth filled with saliva.
"Mmm, just like that. Who's my good girl, baby?" His deep baritone demanded an answer.
"Me," She garbled out around his fingers, drool dripping from the side of her mouth. "I'm your good girl."
She felt a fresh wave of juices oozing out of her as he sensually slid his fingers out from her lips.
"Now that you've got my fingers good and wet, I can prep that pretty little asshole for our next toy." Her eyes grew wide at that. Sunghoon grabbed the second white box, opening it to reveal an anal plug with a cute, pink, heart-shaped crystal on the end.
"What color are we feeling, baby?"
"Y-yellow," She had never been nervous enough to say the safe word before. They had also never explored beyond fingers and the occasional tongue anally.
"Yellow? OK, sweetheart. Tell me what you're thinking. What's going on inside that pretty head?" He set the box aside in favor of soothingly massaging her thighs.
"I guess I'm just nervous."
"It's normal to be nervous when experimenting with new things. But I'd never make you do anything you didn't want to do. We can stop right now and just cuddle if you want. Or we can go slow and see if we like it or not. It's up to you. So, do you want to stop, or do you feel brave enough to try?" There was no judgment in his voice. No disappointment or anger. On the contrary, his gentle tone relaxed her enough to want to try.
"Can we take it slow?"
"Of course we can, Doll. My brave girl," He kissed the inside of her thighs sweetly, his lips lingering against her warm skin. His kisses trailed inwards, eventually landing him at her soft, wet mound.
Now that he knew she was feeling a bit uneasy, he watched her like a hawk for the first sign of discomfort. He placed open mouth kisses against her smooth skin, lips moistening with her sticky juices. He reached a hand up to grip around her waist as his tongue slid down to toy with the hood of her clit. Her hips bucked into his face, still highly sensitive from orgasming twice just moments ago. The scent of her pussy seeped into his nose, making him throb within the confines of his boxers. Her taste quickly spread across each and every one of his taste buds, intoxicating him like an aphrodisiac. He sucked her swollen pink bud into his mouth, groaning as he rolled his tongue over her most sensitive spot repeatedly.
"Fuck, that feels so goood," She moaned out, hips rolling into his mouth.
Whilst she was gyrating and distracted, Sunghoon took the opportunity to push his first digit inside of her winking rim. He pulled back from her clit, spitting a messy wad of saliva onto her bud before slurping it back into his mouth. She was squirming now, head thrown back as she dug her heels into the bed.
"Fuck, please, Sunghoon. Please, baby. I-I need..."
"What do you need, love?"
"Dick." She groaned.
"What an ungrateful little whore," He couldn't hide the grin in his voice. "Here I am. On my fucking knees for you. Eating this fat, juicy little cunt just the way you like... and all you can think about is dick." He didn't miss the way her asshole fluttered around his finger as he degraded her.
"You'll get my dick when I feel you've fucking earned it."
With that said, his second finger pressed inside of her rim to join the first, and he went back to lazily lapping at her quivering bud. At this point, she was so gone that she was attempting to push her asshole further down the length of his fingers, whimpering in need.
"I feel so fucking empty, Sunghoon. Please. Need you to fill me up, baby," She whined breathily, only to be ignored.
The gentle nibbling of his teeth made her withe against his sheets, her thighs closing around his head. With her plush thighs simultaneously plugging and warming his ears, he listened to her muffled sounds, his dick feeling like a steel rod in his briefs as she called out for him over and over in a preorgasmic daze.
"I love you. Love you so fucking much," He murmured into her cunt, removing his fingers and replacing them with the tip of the plug.
Her juices were flowing copiously from her pussy, providing more than enough lube for him to begin easing the toy past her rim. She keened in pleasure, wiggling impatiently until Sunghoon gripped her sternly and held her down still. He returned to sloppily suckling at her clit as the widest part of the plug stretched her tight ass open. He pushed it all the way in, his own hips beginning to buck impatiently into the mattress at the sight of the pink crystal shining enticingly as the plug fully sank into her virgin hole.
"Shit, baby. So fucking sexy." Sunghoon was mesmerized at the sight, blindly reaching for his phone as clear beads of her arousal began to ooze and drip all over her pretty new plug.
"I'm gonna take a picture, baby. Cause this is too fucking pretty to not capture." Tears of desperation and horniness were welling up in her eyes as he spread her cunt open with his fingers to take pictures. The rattling of her cuffs as she absent-mindedly tried to free her hands broke Sunghoon out of his stupor.
"P-please?" This is what Sunghoon lived for. The desperation for him, her willingness to submit herself to him for his pleasure and his pleasure only.
"Have I earned it yet?" Oh, did she.
"I dunno, baby. You think you deserve my cock?" She had more than earned it with her trust and bravery.
"Y-yes?" She thought she might orgasm completely untouched as she watched him push his briefs down his legs and kick them to the side. He crawled back between her legs, her entire body shaking in anticipation of what was to come. He dragged her closer, the bottom of her thighs resting over the top of his as he reached for his third box.
"I think you deserve it too, my love. You've been such a good girl for me, hmm? Such a good girl, thaaaat... I'm gonna give you exactly what you've been begging for."
He leaned over her on his fists, capturing her lips in a toe-curlingly passionate kiss as he teasingly ground his length into her pulsating snatch. She stopped breathing entirely as the wide, pinkish red tip of his dick kissed her entrance. As he pushed in, she heard a small click before a buzzing noise filled her ears. With one thrust, he was bottoming out inside of her and a brand new sensation, of vibration, was surrounding her throbbing clit.
She didn't last two seconds longer.
Her back arched painfully hard, her thighs instinctively closing, which made the sensations of vibration, of Sunghoon stretching out and fucking into her hole, of the anal plug so much more intense. A tortured scream echoed off the walls, followed by pleasure filled sobbing as she writhed and bucked and rolled her hips in tandem with the waves of pleasure. She was dying, he was absolutely killing her with his perfect dick, her cunt squeezing and creaming and gripping his length as she nutted all over him.
"Fuck, yes! Nasty little cunt is fucking milking me so good. Keep creaming on my dick, baby. That shit feels so fucking good. I love you, pretty."
"L...ove.....y.....y-ou," She slurred, dick drunk out of her mind.
"I know you fuckin' do, baby. Love me so fuckin' much, huh? You want to turn around for me, Mama? Let me hit it from the back?"
"Fuck yes!" He never stopped thrusting as he unlocked the cuffs around her wrists, only pulling out long enough to flip her onto her knees and readjust her vibrator before he was pistoning away inside of her again.
The harder he fucked into her, the deeper her back arched, until she was laying on the side of her face, watching him fuck her in the mirror across the room. The sight of her fat little ass boucing and jiggling with each thrust, his throbbing shaft soaked and coated in her gooey cream was straight out of his nastiest fantasies. The pink crystal of her plug was calling out enticingly to him. He gave it an experimental tug, moaning loudly as it made her clench viciously around his dick.
"You like that, don't you, you fucking slut? Like having something up your tight little ass, don't you?" He pulled her plug out, spitting a wad of saliva onto her ass before pushing it back in and fucking her with it.
"Fuuuuuck, Sunghoon! You're gonna make me cum again!" She moaned.
"Go ahead, baby. Cum for me again. Get that pussy nice and fucking wet for me."
He could feel her walls starting to spasm around him again. He watched in awe as the arch in her back deepened impossibly further before she was rolling her hips back to meet his every thrust. With every thrust, he could feel her dripping down his balls, soaking his inner thighs. When he heard her start to whine with the onslaught of an impending orgasm, he turned her vibrator up a setting, moaning as it made her body go rigid. Sunghoon was captivated with the way her entire body froze, unable to do anything except surrender itself to him. He placed a firm hold around her waist, fucking into her with deep, slow strokes as she started to orgasm around him. It nearly knocked the wind out of him when he felt the first wet clench of her walls suckling and swallowing his dick. She was milking him, eyes rolled back in her head, fingers strangling his linens. He couldn't help but observe the way her pussy was convulsing and tightening around his cock, creating a frosty white ring around the base of his cock.
"Thank you," She whimpered brokenly.
"Shit, baby. Pussy looks so pretty cumming on my dick."
"Yeah?"
"Mhmmm. And who does this pretty little pussy belong to, Princess?"
"Pussy is all fucking your's." She was shuddering now, shaking in the aftermath of orgasm.
"Yeah? This pretty little pussy is all fucking mine? Say it again, baby," Sunghoon moaned, head rolling back onto his shoulders.
"My pretty little pussy is all your's."
He groaned in response, pulling out and repositioning her onto her back. He turned the vibrator off, chucking it to the side and bringing her ankles up to rest over his shoulders. He pushed back inside of her heat, overwhelmed by the snug fit. He rested the weight of his body on top of her, wanting to feel as close to her as possible. His deep, slow strokes resumed, stoking the fire burning in the pit of his stomach. No woman had ever showed him euphoria the way she did. And as he rode her sopping cunt, staring deeply into her eyes, he knew he was just as obsessed and in love as she was. A moan slipped out of his mouth, a shiver racking his body as he felt the mushroom head of his cock twitch and leak against her cervix.
"Open your mouth." She complied immediately, his dick stiffening even more if possible as he spat a wad of spit onto her waiting tongue. She swallowed it down, amused at his antics.
"You're so fucking nasty," He smirked.
"You love it."
"I do. I love everything about you..." He trailed off, her eyes getting that dreamy look in them as his thrust became more intense.
"Love the way you feel cumming on my dick. Love your pathetic little moans and cries. Love the way you love me."
"You got a fetish for my love..."
She tangled her manicured fingers through his dark locks, pressing a chaste kiss on his lips as the room echoed with the sounds of their fucking. This was truly Sunghoon's favorite position, not to fuck, but to make love in. She felt so warm and tight and good in this position, and he had been holding out for so long. He could reach the deepest depths of her cunt, his balls aching at the feeling of his tip drooling precum all over her cervix. He could touch her all over, his hands occupying themselves with both a handful of ass and a handful of her bouncing tit. He could lean down and kiss her (or spit in her mouth). But most importantly, he could see her. Stretched out across his bed. So submissive, so good. Just for him, only for him. Letting him take her over and over again. In whatever position he wanted, as many times as he wanted, whenever he wanted.
Because she was his woman.
The thought alone was enough to send him into orbit.
"I'm gonna cum," He grunted. "W-...where?"
"Cum inside me, baby." He laced his fingers through hers, as her other unoccupied hand continued to tug and stroke through his hair.
"Shit. I love you so fucking much."
She couldn't ever recall Sunghoon repeating the phrase this often before. But there was sincerity in his voice. And an urgency, a desperation in his love making that made her feel for once that maybe he did love her the same way she loved him.
She was enthralled as his eyes grew glassy and unfocused, his breathing deepening as pitiful cries escaped his pink lips. And suddenly, his hips began to rut into her shakily, losing any and all sense of rhythm as he impatiently approached his climax. She felt his hard cock pulsating within her before his head dropped forward onto her chest and he whined out in a long, weak moan. Warmth flooded within her as he erupted, his aching, swollen dickhead painting her cervix white with his cum as he shook powerlessly in her arms. She yanked his head back so she could watch his face contort in brain numbing pleasure, his fucked out expression stroking her ego. She ground her hips up into his pelvis, delighted to see his eyes rolling back in his head, mouth falling open in a silent scream of ecstasy in response as he suffered through the peak of his climax. She fucked him through it, gently rocking against him to help him come down from his high.
She stroked a hand up and down his sweaty, shivering back as he panted, limp and exhausted. Laying on her chest made him feel relaxed and lethargic in the aftermath of the single greatest orgasm his body had ever been made to endure. He laid there until he could feel his legs again, shuddering as he pulled out of her. He placed a tender kiss on her lips before walking to the bathroom to get a warm rag to clean her up. When he returned with the rag, he was surprised to see her already up and tugging on her hoodie once again.
"Why are you getting dressed? You didn't even let me clean you up, Pretty."
"Sunghoon. I um... I'm not going to do the whole aftercare thing tonight. I meant what I said earlier. This is it for us. So I'm just gonna leave."
"What are you talking about? Leave for what? Just spend the night with me, babe."
"No, Sunghoon. I can't. This relationship was doomed from the start. And starting right now, I have to move on."
"Is this about what I said earlier? About you not staying away so long next time? Because if that's what's got you so upset, then I'm really sorry. It was a dumb thing to say. But it's hardly worth losing our relationship over." He could feel his pulse staring to race as she calmly stood up and began dressing.
"It's about more than just that, Sunghoon. I'm... it's just time for me to grow up and move on."
"But I love you. You can't just leave me."
"It doesn't feel good, does it?" She couldn't help but snap.
"So this is just you trying to get back at me?"
"No, Sunghoon! Just drop it, and let me leave." She gathered the remainder of her things and headed towards the door only to be stopped by a hand around her wrist.
"No! You say it's time to grow up, so we're going to talk this out. Like adults."
"Sunghoon, just let me-"
"No, you're not fucking leave me."
"Sunghoon-"
"Just stop it, you're not going anywhere!"
"I have to-"
"NO!"
"I'm pregnant! Ok?!"
The only sound in the room was the raindrops hitting the window. The now cold rag slipped from Sunghoon's fingers, hitting the hardwood floor with a wet splat.
"P-pregnant?"
"Yes."
"... For real?"
"Mhmm."
"Like... with a baby?"
"Yes, dumbass." Sunghoon ran a shaky hand through his sex tangled bed head.
"When did you find out?"
"I had a doctor's appointment this morning."
"I missed our baby's first appointment?!"
"No, it was just a regular check-up, and I had some blood work done. That's how they found out that I'm carrying."
"Do you know how far along you are?" His heart was beating so loud he wondered if she could hear it.
"Six weeks."
"...We're having a baby?" He whispered almost as if he was too afraid to say it out loud.
"No, I'm having a baby."
"Fuck's that supposed to mean?"
"It means I'm pregnant, I'm going to have this baby, and I'm going to raise it. Alone."
"And where the fuck did you get the idea that I'd ever let that happen?"
"Sunghoon, I love you. But you're not dependable. Kids need stability. And I refuse to let my baby see you come in and out of our lives like a revolving door for your entertainment."
"Our baby."
"What are you not understanding?"
"Our. Baby. Whether you like it or not, that baby is just as much mine as it is yours. So you don't get to just cut me out of the picture. I know I haven't been the most... stable. But I'm begging you to give me a chance. Let me prove to you that I can be a father to our baby."
"Sunghoon.... I don't know."
"Please," He pulled her closer to him before slowly letting his hand creep down to caress her stomach.
"Give me a chance. It's not like we aren't in love with each other, or we're strangers or something. It wasn't intentional, but we made this baby together out of love. And he or she deserves to grow up with both parents. Under one roof. As a family."
His eyes were watery with emotion. And again, Sunghoon hated himself for making her feel like she needed to protect herself, to protect his own baby from him. He felt like he was finally being forced to deal with the consequences of his actions.
"I don't want you to be with me out of obligation. Just because I'm pregnant. I want you to be with me because you love me."
"Do you think I'd be begging for a second chance if I didn't love you? Do you think I'd be pleading with you not to leave? You know I love you. And you're carrying my child. That only makes me love you more. Knowing that there's a little piece of me, of us, growing inside of you... I understand why your first instinct was to leave. I know you want to protect our baby. But I promise you, if you give me just one more chance, I'll show you how dependable I can be. I'll stick by your side forever. I promise. I'm gonna mess up. I'll probably say some dumb stuff every now and then. We'll piss each other off and argue occasionally. But I'll never leave you. Neither one of you. Ever again." She had never seen such determination in his eyes. Everything in her was screaming at her to leave. To create distance. To run away before he could.
"Let's just try, baby. Please?" The tears that were shimmering in his eyes began to spill over onto his pale cheeks.
In a flash, she imagined how her life would play out if she said no. It was a safer route to take. Looking at him, though, in this moment, in his bedroom while he fought for his family with tears in his eyes, she knew she couldn't leave.
"Promise? Promise you won't leave us?" As soon as the words came out of her mouth, she could see the weight of the world lift off of his shoulders.
"I promise!"
"....OK, Hoon. Let's just try."
He enveloped her in his arms tightly, molding his lips to hers like he'd never get the chance to do it again. And as he dragged her back to bed, a protective hand resting on her stomach, on their baby, she knew she made the right choice.
Don't kill me yall🫢🫣. I'll go back and edit later. Also the end is kinda blah but its whatevs. Anyways, feedback is appreciated. Toodles 🫡
[ part one / masterlist / requests are open ]
☽。⋆ part 2 of THE GREATEST. he tried to live without you, but how is one to survive with a broken heart? a story based on TRUE BLUE by billie eilish. — lando norris x fem!reader (could technically be read as a stand-alone)
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 angst, hurt & comfort, hints of fluff (?) 𝄞 4.1k words
❝ Lights out, you’re not here holding me ❞
Lando had never before felt the way he did the day you left him. Seeing you walk through that door, intending to never come back to him ever again, it pained him. It took him too long to realize how much he hurt you, and now he had to suffer the consequences. He swore it wasn’t on purpose, but when his friends told him that also the third girl he had brought along since you broke up with him resembled you in a way, he stopped denying. There was no use. The guys knew, the internet knew, he knew that he wasn’t yet over you. And he thinks he never will be. You left an empty place in his heart, a place that would forever be reserved for you only and you only. No matter how hard he tried to find someone else, no one would ever be able to replace you.
The girl he brought to the first race after the summer break was long forgotten already.
At first, everyone around him believed him when he said he felt happier now without you. But the moment he went back to his old ways, the heartbreaker they’ve known for so long, they realized he wasn’t. The girls always looked like you. He only rarely smiled anymore and he couldn‘t care less about his friends‘ relationships, even going as far as faking a gag or simply not coming to hang out with them at all. He said it’s because he needs to focus on racing. They knew it was because of you. Lando was yet to tell them why the relationship ended. He’d rather crash his car and DNF in every race for the rest of his life than to ever have to talk about the night you left ever again. He felt embarrassed and bad and was so terribly regretful. Only his parents knew the whole truth. He told them with tears caressing his face just like you once did, and seeing the disappointment in their eyes, he felt his heart rip apart even more. They had loved you so much, only waiting for the day he would finally go down on one knee for you, and now he messed it all up.
If he could just go back and make it all alright. Make you feel unconditionally loved wherever you went, make you happy, keep you happy. He would change it all if he just had the chance, but he knew you deserved better. Maybe one day, he could be better again.
He is ready to give up the very thing for you that had made you leave him that night if you’d ask him to. Racing would never again mean as much to him as you, though broken up, still do to him.
He was currently seated in his McLaren, waiting for the lights to go out so he could try his very best to overtake max at the start already. He should have his mind on the track. He shouldn’t think about you, not here. But like always, he couldn’t help it. He hoped to see you in the stands once he was able to get out of the car again. He hoped to see you wave and smile at him, run into his arms and let him kiss you all over, do all the things he had failed to do so many months ago. He knew it wouldn’t happen. He believed anyway. The lights went out and the cars began moving. He tried his best, he always did, but he wasn‘t afraid to lose anymore; for what was it worth to win a race when he had faced the greatest loss of them all already?
❝ I count every tear down my cheek instead of sheep ❞
You couldn’t sleep. You could never sleep while he was racing. Especially when he was on the other side of the world, which is why you went with him last season, and also at the start of this one. Maybe you never should’ve. Long distance was hard, but you managed. He felt farther away when he was still sleeping next you every night. At least when he didn’t send you off to sleep on the couch.
You tossed and turned in your sleep, but you didn’t dare to turn on the TV. It’s been months, you should try to live without him. Without seeing him. Without feeling for him. His races had nothing to do with you, neither did the outcome. And god, if he wins and you have to watch him kiss someone else again you might as well just take his racing car and drive right into the nearest wall. He’s so far away and yet, it didn’t make you love him any less. You huffed, fear slowly building up inside of you. You knew you shouldn’t do this, you had to wake up early tomorrow and really, it wouldn’t be that bad to miss a race once or twice, but you couldn’t help it. Reaching for the remote, your eyes were flooded with tears and your heart stung like never before when you saw him driving out there. You were rooting for him nonetheless. Just months ago you had watched the races from inside the McLaren hospitality, but now? All alone in your bed, anxiously following his every move. You would never fall asleep like this.
❝ Sleepwalk, find myself on your street. Three knocks, ring the bell, then I leave ❞
And there you stood high up in the stands the next weekend, head hanging low as you didn‘t want any fans of him recognizing you, back in his territory. You tried to ignore him, you really did, but your eyes kept following him around the paddock and didn’t leave him even while he was doing the quick interviews he had to do on his way there. And honestly, it kinda felt like home. Attending the races. Being near him. Being with him. You missed it more than anything else in the world, and you felt pathetic for it. He hurt you every way he could, and still, he didn’t hurt you enough to make you hate him. And you really wanted to hate him.
You went to the race together with one of your friends from uni. You bonded over formula 1 and your shared passion for the sport and quickly became very good friends. However, she had to leave soon, moving to another city for a better starting point for her career. Hence, you decided to save some money and go to a race together for the last time; for now, at least. You still remember the way she looked at you when you told her you were with Lando. The way you swooned over him to her, and the way you cried your eyes out when it all ended. You really thought you‘d be able to spend the rest of your life with him, and now all you had left of him were memories. She‘s known you long enough to immediately notice your longing after him the moment your eyes locked onto his dark brown curls. Your heart fluttered and it made you nauseous. One day this would stop, right? Your feeling must fade at least sometime, or was this all just wishful thinking? Could you not just get over him like everyone else got over their exes and start dating someone new?
Your heart ached. He was so close, not out of reach anymore, not on the other side of the world anymore, but still, there was no way of getting back to him, the crash barriers and the grandstand keeping you away, and it felt like the end of your relationship all over again, with him on the track and you sitting and waiting patiently on the sidelines, always at least an arm length distance between you two. You shouldn’t even want to get him back. You left out a sigh as he walked into the McLaren hospitality, finally out of sight. But still not out of mind.
Your friend huffed next to you, and finally decided to try and convince you to talk to him after the race while you were still in the same place, to get closure at last. You knew it must annoy your friends and maybe even your family that it was so hard for you to just move on. They put effort into understanding, but still, Lando wasn‘t good to you, at least not in the end. Many would treat you better, but you didn‘t seem to care. You quickly shook your head no, telling her how he probably didn’t want to talk to you and that catching him after the race would be nearly impossible, with bodyguards and tons and tons of interviewers and cameras around him.
The conversation ended soon after, as the lights went out and the drivers hit the gas. You pondered for a second, reconsidering your friend‘s suggestion, a weird feeling building up in your stomach. Maybe you shouldn’t even be here, maybe you should *leave* after the race and never look back. But to your dismay, every sense in your body was telling you to stay.
❝ I try to live in black and white but I’m so blue ❞
The race went well, but he didn‘t really care. Of course he was happy, the whole team was euphoric for their two drivers who secured place 2 and 4, huge smiles plastered on their faces. Once he was done with the post-race interviews he left to go back and get some rest inside his apartment, at least until the others came around to drag him to the afterparty, slandering from one club into the next one.
Everything felt so lonely without you. His bed was cold even when he was hidden under his blanket, and the dining room was nothing more than a reminder that he wasn‘t spending his evenings with you. Watching TV got boring. Everything got boring. He didn’t even know why he lost you anymore, he didn’t know what the hell it was that made him believe you weren’t made for him, making him believe there was actually something more important than you in this lifetime. You haunted his every thought, and even though he truly only wanted the best for you, deep inside him, he wanted you to still need him as well.
He stood in front of his bathroom mirror, gently buttoning up his shirt like you used to do, always leaving the 3 highest ones unbuttoned. He missed your touch, your eyes looking up at him and your hands always reaching for his. His arms would be wrapped around your waist and his head would be leaning on your shoulder, sneaking a few, small kisses up your neck as you changed your earrings for the night, the imagine of it painted onto your fast beating heart as you stood in front of the full-body mirror in your apartment, finishing up your accessoires. You wore a blue dress that covered your thighs, not reaching your knees. It hugged you in all the right places, accentuating your features. It used to be Lando‘s favourite, but you had no other alternative, not having brought any other dresses. Your friend insisted on going clubbing anyway, desperately wanting to finally get him off your mind for one night at least.
The other drivers were loud and happy and drunk and Lando sat next to them, staring at his already empty glass. He knew how this would go. At some point, either the drivers or one of their girls would tap his shoulder, saying they have a friend they think he would really like, and if he would like to be introduced to her. He would agree so they would finally keep their mouths shut, he would talk to the girl. Maybe they would kiss if he drank enough. Maybe he would take her home. Maybe he would think about you the whole time, maybe he would accidentally call her your name. Maybe he would wake up in the morning and would be happy that she‘d left, content with it only being a one-time thing and not meaning anything.
Because, in the end, nothing meant anything without you.
He pretended to laugh at the jokes of his friends, but really, none of this was fun to him. These nights were nothing more than a constant reminder of how he used to have his fun while you were waiting for him at home, cold and sad and alone. How could he be so stupid and leave you alone all the time? He doesn’t even know why he did it anymore. He yawned, very obviously not enjoying the party. Yes, it was nice seeing his friends so happy, the mood wasn’t as tense as it was around and on the track and the people inside the night club were vivid, dancing and drinking, seemingly having the time of their life downing countless beverages, but still, the happiness didn’t reach him.
“Dude, I think your girl‘s here.“ Oscar pushed him slightly, two vodka bull in hand for himself and Lily. Lando didn’t pay him any mind and rolled his eyes, not really in the mood for talking to any girl that isn’t you at the moment. Couldn’t they just give up? He wasn’t ready yet for someone else, he didn’t even know if he wanted to be with someone that isn’t you at all. Ever. Instead of arguing with Oscar about how he didn’t want to hear from any other girl right now, he went to get another drink as well.
He pushed through the dense crowd of people, navigating through the cacophony of laughter and piercing yelling that seemed to echo from all directions. The deafening loud music blasting through his ears made it difficult to focus, and the harsh sound of glass clunking together only added to it. The colorful LED lights rapidly switched from green to red to purple to yellow in a matter of seconds, creating a dizzying light show that overwhelmed his vision. This sensory onslaught of sounds, sights, and sensations overstimulated his senses, making each step forward feel like an effort.
Finally at his destination, he waited for the waiter or waitress, he wasn’t quite sure, to get his order. He wasn’t certain what his plan was that night at all. Sleeping around or not, you wouldn’t stop haunting his mind anyway, so was it really worth it? Getting drunk and trying to make his nights feel less lonesome? Or should he just wait and really focus on his carrer again until maybe, one day, you’d come back?
He ignored the possibilty of you not coming back at all.
He let his eyes wander around the scene unfolding in front of him, occasionally making eye contact with random girls who winked at him and tried to get his attention, but he didn’t pay them any mind. Frustration started to bubble up inside of him as the wait for his drink seemed to go on for forever, until suddenly, his heart skipped a beat.
Lando was certain that in a room full of people, he would always be able to notice you first. He pondered if it was you whenever he‘d walk by a girl with the same hair colour as you, immediately dismissing the thought when he saw a face that didn’t match yours just a second later. But this time, it was different. The hair ressembled yours without a doubt, and of course he remembered the dress he had bought for you so long ago; never once had he been able to keep his hands to himself when you wore it. The height matched you perfectly as well. But it couldn’t be you, right?
Oscar‘s words replayed in his mind and he finally understood what he meant. Who he meant.
It was really you.
You tried to enjoy the party, but you really weren’t doing so well. Your friend had left you near the bar, thinking you’d be hitting it off with a guy you’ve been talking to for some time, but that wasn’t the case. he left just five minutes after to go home, asking if you’d like to come with him. You denied, but your friend was nowhere to be found, having found someone in this club herself. It was scary being alone in a club full of drunk, intoxicated people, even more so when you sensed someone staring at you from behind. You didn’t have to worry about things like that when you were still with Lando, with him always stuck to your side, a protective arm hanging around your shoulders. you shuddered at the thought, and dared to turn around to find the very person who was looking at you so steadily.
And then you locked eyes.
The world suddenly went quiet. All the chaos, the noise, it all faded into the background, no sound to be heard other than the synchronised, rapid beating of your heart. It seemed as if the only two people in that room were you and him, only the void surrounding the two of you. The LEDs turned blue, engulfing you and him, the light accentuating your features and he couldn’t move even if he wanted to, stuck in a trance of what this could mean for him in the future; what this could mean for you both. Time seemed to stand still. He wanted to run to you, to hold you, to tell you how much he missed you, but his feet felt like they were glued to the floor. His breath hitched and so did yours, all the yearning, all the longing hitting you and him at lightspeed.
You walked towards him, each step filled with electricity. The tension was palpable, his mouth agape as you stood in front of him, only centimeters away from closing the gap between you. There was so much he wanted to say, so many things he wanted to apologize, so many things he wanted to make right, but he didn‘t dare to say things first, afraid too scare you off. The last thing he wanted is for you to leave him again.
“I didn‘t know you‘d be here, thought I‘d seen Oscar but I wasn‘t sure,“ you started, stumbling over your own words, laughing awkwardly, then biting your lip right after. He noticed, because you always did that when you were nervous; you’d done it too when you broke up with him. You wanted to blame it on the alcohol, but that would be a lie, one he could look right through of. You just couldn‘t process actually being in his presence again.
“You still wear the dress?“
“It‘s, uhm, quite pretty, so yeah.“ You nodded along to your own words, gulping at the tense and awkward silence right after, looking down at your shoes, the sight of him in this light still not leaving your mind. Maybe he didn‘t even feel the same way, maybe he didn‘t even want to talk to you. Maybe you already made a fool of yourself when you made your way over to him, maybe you really should‘ve just stayed at home. But at the same time, this is what you‘d hoped for this whole time. To finally see him again.
“I‘m so sorry for what I did to you, y/n, please believe me. E-Ever since you left, I couldn‘t stop thinking about you. Not once. I tried to move on, y‘know, would probably be better for you as well, ‘cause you deserve better than how I‘ve treated you at the end and I don‘t want to have to put you through that again but I just- I miss you so much, I don‘t know what to do! And now you‘re here and I swear I‘ve been waiting for a moment like this and-,“ he stopped for a second, heavy and shaky breaths filling the silence, „If giving up racing means you‘ll let me come back to you, I‘ll do it.“
Your teary eyes widened and you looked up at him again, staring into his. One could take it as an empty promise. But you knew better than anyone else that Lando wasn’t one to joke about racing, ever. “Lando you can’t just- I- I mean, racing? It didn‘t work before Lan I just- don‘t give up your dreams for me, please? You shouldn‘t, you have so much ahead of you still,“ you sighed out, every single part of your body overwhelmed like never before.
But Lando was certain. He traced every yet so small feature of your face and body with his eyes, and he knew in that exact moment that, no matter what, he could never lose you again. Not this time. Not when fate hat somehow brought you together once again, giving him a second chance to make it all better. Question was now if you’d let him have that second chance too.
He lifted his hand to gently wipe away the tear running down your cheek, having you lean into his familiar touch. “I’ll do it for you”, he said, and that was when you broke apart, legs feeling numb and wobbly suddenly. Tears streamed down your face as you took another step forward and he wrapped his arms around your body out of reflex, gently placing soft kisses on top of your head, tearing up as well as your cried into his chest.
Maybe it was bad, maybe you shouldn’t feel like this again, but you’ve never once after the breakup felt as at peace with yourself and your as you did now, even if you were in a loud and busy club, surrounded by drunk and high people. You managed to push them to the back of your mind, the familiar scent of Lando’s perfume calming your senses. It felt like home. Maybe he really did owe you something, and though you once were anguished because of it, you wouldn’t ever deprive him of the joy of racing. There would be a way through it without having to abandon any of your or his dreams. There must be if you want it to work out, and you were sure that this time, it would. And so was he.
Lando took you home with him that night, not before you shot your friend a quick text message, afraid she might think you were kidnapped or whatnot. You knew that you’d have to fly home again in two days. He knew that too, but there was no need to rush things anyway. You were still his and he was still yours, and that’s all that mattered for now. It’s gonna be weird explaining this to your friends and your family, but neither of you minded it as long as it meant you could be with each other again. You would have to talk things through and see how you’d manage the race weekends and the events and the media - but not now. Now, with you calmly and lightly snoring in his arms, he didn’t care about any of that, simply content with having you again.
He promised you before you drifted off into your tranquil slumber that he will make it right this time. He will be there for you no matter what, he will defend you and take you with him and show you off and love you like already should have done all these months ago. This time, he will put in the work and the appreciation and the effort, and then, you will finally be able to be the greatest.
❝ I’d like to mean it when I say I’m over you, but that’s still not true. ❞
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