﹆ WITH AND WITHOUT — LHS

Paranoid | CS55 (Patreon)

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― Pairing: situationship!carlos x merc!admin!reader (with a sprinkle of reader x lewis) ― Warning: curse words; family issues (it is mentioned that the reader was abandoned by her father), jealousy, slightly toxic!cs55, mentions of cheating, mentions of the Louis to Ferrari deal. angsty, jealousy, toxic dynamic; fem!reader (she/her); 1k8 words. ― Summary: Carlos always got what he wanted. He was handsome and smart. Someone else's life never seemed better, and Carlos never saw himself as a jealous person, until Lewis got the seat and the girl.

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preview

If you asked Carlos Sainz if he was a jealous person he would deny it.

Just like if you asked Yn if she would ever get involved with someone from her line of work she would answer negatively.

But as it happens, fate likes to play with people, and it decided to play them two.

...

She was friendly, but there was a clear line drawn between them. 

To Yn in those lines, the sentence “never dare to get involved with a coworker” loomed. 

Carlos would find any excuse to get to the Merc garage unnoticed and “accidentally” bump into Yn and he was so set on at least making his feelings known that Yn couldn’t run anymore. For some reason, he always knew when she was around, and he got her number from a McLaren mechanic who just so happened to be her friend. She got tired, mainly because she was just as attracted to him but she refused to break down that wall, to step over the line she drew around herself ever since she started to understand the world.

...

“YOU’RE PARANOID!” She screamed when Carlos hinted that she was having an affair. “You know damn well my reluctance to get involved with coworkers, and even so, I’m your girlfriend, I wouldn’t cheat on you! Don’t you trust me?!” 

Carlos walked around the living room running his hands on his dark hair messing with the strands and even getting some from the roots with the force he was pulling them. 

“I do trust you, I just don’t trust him!” 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

He grunted, finally coming to a stop a few feet from her, “You can’t blame me, you keep working overtime when it comes to him, he texts you outside of working hours and…”

────── ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi! I hope you guys liked this lil sneak peek! Make sure to like and reblog if you did *mwah* as usual a shout out to my coffee emoji anon for proofreading this <3

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LOUD AND CLEAR | LN4

pairing: lando norris x fem!deaf reader

summary: the 4 times that fans noticed the way lando was with you and the 1 time they finally realized why.

warnings: none i don't think

1.the garage whispers

fans noticed things, they always did, but sometimes their reasons were a little bit off, like with lando and his girlfriend.

you had been in the mclaren garage one day. while lando's world was loud, yours was quiet. you were completely deaf, you had cochlear implants but sometimes during race weekends they would get overwhelmed with the loud noise making it harder to process what was happening.

one thing that lando never failed to do though was lean closer for you to hear him. his head falling down so his lips were by your ear, making sure your implants could pick up what he was saying.

"you okay?" he asked you, his voice soft and gentle but still loud enough for your implants to pick up easily, his hand gently resting at the small of your back.

you nodded your head with a smile, "just loud" you say softly.

he nodded his head knowing you hated when he fussed over you and that if you got overwhelmed you'd either tell him or you would leave so he knew you were okay.

his hand came up to tap his heart 3 times, not exactly sign language but a sign that you both had started doing, the simple act saying "i love you."

you smiled and tapped your heart back before saying a small goodbye to him as he left to go get ready for qualifying.

the small whispers and acts didn't go unnoticed by fans though, their theories being far from the truth though.

user1: the way lando's so in love with her user2: watching them whisper to each other feels so intimate user3: WHAT DID HE SAY TO HER?

2.his little taps

lando didn't ever call for you, even when you could hear him. every time he wanted your attention he would simply tap you, a small shoulder tap, the squeeze of an arm, tap on the wrist, just something small.

one time that it was noticed by fans was when you were walking into the paddock together. lando had gotten stopped by some fans and as if on instinct his hand had come to tap your shoulder to get your attention

you turned to him with a small smile, watching as he didn't say anything simply gesturing to the group of fans letting you know he had stopped to sign some stuff, standing and waiting for him to finish with the fans before you guys continued. nothing had been said between the two of you, just silent communication which definitely caused an uproar between fans.

user1: why did bro tap her instead of calling for her user2: he's so in love he needs her to feel him before he speaks user3: they're actually so cute, the way he didn't have to say anything and she knew.

3.face offs

even when you were wearing your cochlears sometimes it was hard to hear so lando would always face you when he spoke so you could read his lips easier.

dinner? he was sat in front of you. talking with fans? he made sure you were stood in front of who was talking to you if you were with him. interviews? if you were watching he was always facing you in some way so you could see his lips.

fans picked up on the pattern easily. the way he always stood in front of you before he started speaking, or the way he'd turn your head, it confused them for sure not knowing the reasoning but they still speculated.

user1: lando being a soft boyfriend for the 200th time. user2: the way he always makes sure she can see him, i love them your honor :( user3: they're so in love it's sickening

4. the signs

it was a no brainer that lando would learn sign language when you guys started to date, despite being able to hear him with your implants he still wanted to learn so if you weren't wearing them he could communicate.

the moment the fans started noticing was during a podium. lando had just finished in P2 and while he was up there he had signed "i love you" to you. from there the fans had started noticing the smaller moments.

the small signs in the garage when he was talking to you, the random signs in interviews as if someone was watching that he wanted them to see.

a favorite clip would be during one of lando's twitch streams though. he was playing a game but suddenly had paused it turning to look in the doorway. you were off camera so they couldn't see you as you stood trying to get lando's attention without disturbing him.

what they did see though was the way lando turned to you and instead of saying anything he had signed with his hands, a silent conversation just for the two of you.

"sorry guys, just checking something," lando had said after turning back to the stream when you had left, leaving the fans confused.

user1: WAS HE SIGNING? user2: since when did lando know sign language? user3: was he signing to Y/N?

+1 the time where everything clicked.

you had been with lando in the paddock one day during a race weekend. at this point you were deaf to the world because the batteries for your implants had died. you were stood scourging for your spares in lando's bag when fans came up, getting lando's attention and trying to get yours.

they were confused when they called your name and you didn't answer until lando tapped you making your head look up from where it was buried searching in the bag on his back, a huge smile coming to your face when you notice the fans.

"hi!" you say as you come to stand at lando's side.

"she's deaf, she can read lips though so just make sure you're facing her when you speak," lando explained, signing with his hands.

the fans' mouths dropped, everything making so much more sense to them, the whispers, the small taps, the way he was always faced to you, the way he knew sign language.

while you talked with fans, taking a couple times to ask for repeats, lando was searching in his bag for your batteries, changing them out for you before a gentle hand came to your shoulder to not startle you as he put them on for you, the noise of the paddock filling your ears as they connected.

the both of you finished talking with the fans, taking a couple pictures with them before saying goodbye, knowing the announcement was about to break the internet.

user1: omg she's deaf it all makes so much more sense now. user2: STOP HE LEARNED SIGN LANGUAGE FOR HER user3: lando "i'd learn another language for her" norris user4: they are actually so cute

everything clicked for the fans after that day, and suddenly lando's love for you was so much bigger, because he didn't just love you, he understood you, and did everything he could do so you could understand him.

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐁𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 – 𝟐𝟏

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲

↬ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

↬ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬!𝐀𝐔, 𝐂𝐄𝐎!𝐉𝐚𝐲, 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

↬ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟒𝐤

↬ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐓𝐰𝐨 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞, 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬, 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲. 𝐀 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐚 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐡 𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐥'𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐂𝐄𝐎.

"Are you sure we're at the right address, Sir?"

His chauffeur's question barely makes its way to his consciousness, as Jongseong allows his gaze to nervously and curiously roam the parts of Seoul he's never been to before.

As a business man he's definitely seen most of his favorite and most important capital, yet it genuinely feels like stepping foot into a whole new city.

All of a sudden and for the first time in his life, Jongseong simply can't recognize the place he was born and raised in, the capital he's always loved and appreciated. All of a sudden and for the first time in his life he genuinely feels out of place.

"Yes, it's the apartment complex right here", is the only thing he manages to say before the car comes to a halt and he finds himself in the midsts of Seoul's other kind of night life.

Despite the time being quite late, there are children and teenagers out on the street, laughing and playing together, a group of old man comfortably seated in front of a random little restaurant as the old women are slowly starting to close their shops.

Jongseong doesn't know what he expected when he had spontaneously decided to join his driver to pick you up, especially since you had already told him about where your apartment is located, yet it absolutely didn't prepare him for the reality of it.

It's not like he's never been to the less wealthy parts of Seoul, but for some reason he can't help but doubt the safety of it.

The thought of his pretty girl having to take the bus at late times with all these possible dangers lingering around has his head spinning with worry.

There's absolutely no way he'll let you go home by yourself ever again after this.

With a harsh gulp, Jongseong gets out of the car, the boys' and young men's attention quickly shifting to him as he shoots his body guard a firm gaze to stop him from following the way he'd usually do it. Because for some reason, Jay feels like he doesn't need him in his back in this particular situation.

"Oh, damn", one of the boys yells as soon as his eyes meet Jongseong's, his face quickly giving away just how young he is, however his height as well as the proportions of his body making him seem like they're the same age, "seems like Y/N's finally getting over that stupid asshole!"

His words leave the young CEO speechless.

Why does he know you? And why the fuck is he all up in your business to the point where he actually knows things about your personal life in such great detail?

Jongseong can't help but wonder if you've managed to create bonds to these young men, and as he thinks about the possibility of it, he knows it's nothing too unrealistic, as you usually tend to treat every single human being the exact same way, no matter who they are or where they come from.

"I like him the most so far", another boy yells, a little older than the other ones yet still young enough to be in school, "he actually looks like he'll treat her well."

For a short moment, Jay tries his best to understand whether or not this is actually happening because despite how overwhelmed he is, he feels way more comfortable than he would have ever expected to.

"Y/N and I are just – friends", Jay suddenly says, a soft smile on his lips and the way all boys are quick to reciprocate the sweet gesture melts his heart on the spot, "I'm here to pick her up."

"Nah, you guys aren't friends", the first boy chuckles, "you like her more than that, am I right?"

This time he simply can't hold back a little chuckle in response to the boy's playful words and yet all he does is shrug his comment off.

"What's your name? Might as well let us know since you'll obviously come around a lot more from now on."

For a moment, Jongseong hesitates. Not because he doesn't trust the boys but rather because for the first time in his life, he doesn't want people to know what reputation his name comes with.

"Jay", is what he decides on, "I'll make sure to get to know you all as well next time, but for now I gotta pick her up. The host of tonight's dinner we're invited to is incredibly stingy when it comes to being on time."

The boys nod, some of them shoot Jongseong another row of smiles whereas the older ones seem suspicious and mischievous. And as Jay comes to stand in front of the apartment building's front door, he carefully looks for your name on one of the tags before ringing your bell and silently praying that you won't speak to him through the speaker bur rather just buzz him in instead.

To his luck you're way too stressed and in a rush to actually care about who you're letting into the apartment complex. After almost two three of living here, you've grown used to the random ringings on your doorbell because one of the kids has forgotten their keys again or a random neighbor asking you for leftovers, especially towards the end of the month when the money situation gets a little critical for everyone.

Ever since you've started working for The Park Company, you've been earning way more than most people in your complex and since you have nobody but yourself to take care of, you love giving the rest to the people in your community.

To some people it might be too much but these exact people were the ones who took great care of you throughout the few times you spent jobless and on the actual edge of poverty, barely making ends meet.

It's a great privilege and honor to finally give back to them and there's nobody in this neighborhood you're not genuinely grateful for.

It takes Jay a little longer than five minutes to find his way to your door, the middle aged lady at the end of the hallway quickly letting out an amused laugh upon seeing the tall CEO desperately looking for the right way to go before finally helping him.

And as soon as he lifts his hand to knock on your door, he feels his heartbeat picking up its pace in no time, thrumming in his throat as the blood rushes in his ears and easily blends out every single other noise.

You can't help but be a little surprised as soon as you realise that there's actually someone on the other side of your door since you weren't really expecting anyone and are pretty sure Mr. Park's driver didn't feel the need to come all the way up to your apartment.

With only one boot on your feet and your lips half way lined, you swing the door open and find yourself standing in front of none other than your boss.

The sight of Park Jongseong in your complex hallway feels surreal, like it's nothing but a mentally created image and the longer you stare at him, the more intimated you feel. This block, this part of the city, your life – none of these things are made for people who were fed with silver spoons the second they came to this world and even if you don't feel ashamed or embarrassed, you definitely feel a little shy and yet defensive about it.

If it wasn't for the initial shock, you would have easily missed the way his eyes widen just the tiniest bit and for a moment you're not sure if he actually just gasped for air, but with him you usually tend to read too much into his behavior, so without giving it another thought you take a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry for making you wait, Sir", you say and start fumbling with the little belt of your rather small black dress, too nervous to make eye contact as you feel his dark eyes roaming your body almsot shamelessly.

"I didn't know you would be the one to pick me up."

"Don't worry about it", Jongseong says and clears his throat, every single drop of blood finding its way into his cock, "I wanted to make it a surprise."

His words leave you flabbergasted.

And from the sudden nervousness grazing his features you're pretty sure you haven't done a good job at hiding your reaction.

Jongseong doesn't want to make you uncomfortable, yet he simply has no idea what to say.

You look like you came straight out of his biggest fantasies, your whole demeanor is what he's been dreaming about for the past few weeks and besides that one night at Heeseung's new club he's never been in your presence outside of work.

For some reason he kind of expected this to be a little easier, but at the end of the day all of his worries and doubts have become reality.

"Call me Jay, please", he suddenly blurts and looks at you with his pretty eyes roaming your face, "I think we're past the point of you constantly addressing me as 'Sir' and by my last name."

"But...you're my boss", you whisper and start playing with your favorite necklace, but still too shy to look him kn the eyes, "I don't want to be unprofessional or inappropriate."

"Y/N, I–", but Jongseong doesn't get the opportunity to finish his sentence as his phone starts ringing and the custom ringtone lets him know exactly who it is.

"It's Hoonie", he sighs and pulls the device out of his pocket, not yet picking up the call, "I'll be here waiting for you to get ready. No need to rush yourself."

All you do is nod before turning around and quickly looking for your second shoe as well as finishing the last touch ups on your make up.

For a single second you actually consider inviting him inside but you're not ready for your boss to see your tiny little apartment. This time it is a little bit of shema which kind of hoods you back because compared to his big penthouse, your place is as big as his home office.

Once you've finally finished getting yourself ready and actually presentable, you try your best not to stare at your boss who's currently talking to his best friend, leaning against the wall and looking absolutely out of place and yet like he actually fits into the whole picture perfectly.

With a soft sigh you throw away all of those little thoughts and glimpses of hope before locking your door and waiting for Jongseong to join you.

You're too nervous, too anxious and excited to actually hear what he's saying to Hoonie on the phone and as soon as he pulls it away from his ear, you find yourself gasping for air at the mesmerizing sight of Park Jongseong.

He's not wearing his usual three piece but the casual version of his daily outfit. Few of the buttons on the top of his white dress shirt unbuttoned, revealing just the right amount of chest as the blazer hugs his strong biceps in just the right places. You don't let your eyes find their way to his legs because you know the sight of his thick thighs in those black slacks are going to drive you insane. Riding and using them for your own pleasure being one of your personal favorite fantasies.

Neither one of you says a single word as you make your way to the car, the cold November air hitting you a lot harder than expected and now you're absolutely regretting your choice of jacket.

You quickly check up on your boys, who have obviously been waiting for you two to come downstairs, before they all shoot Jay a knowing look and an appreciative nod of acknowledgment, which you would have missed if you hadn't been attentively watching your boss's reaction to the kids of your block.

With a soft smile, Jay opens the door to his car, making sure you're comfortably seated before making his way to the other side.

You're quick to start a conversation with his bodyguard, since the two of you have been spending just as much time with each as you have with Jay himself and for some reason he can't help but feel a sense of relief hit him.

You're here with him. You're in his car and he finally gets to take the tiniest bit of care of you, something he's been daydreaming about for so long.

You can feel his eyes burning through your skin and you can't even deny how much you're enjoying it. Knowing he actually seems to like what he sees has the butterflies in your tummy go absolutely crazy, despite your many attempts to kill them off completely. There's just something about Park Jongseong which seems to turn the easiest things into the biggest challenges.

"Y/N, I've thought a little about the rules I've set up for you in my office and have decided to abandon most of them", Jongseong suddenly says and when you turn your head to meet his strong gaze, you're surprised to see that he genuinely seems nervous.

"Oh?" You look at him with raised eyebrows, your hands neatly folded in your lap and all of a sudden you feel a lot less anxious than just a few seconds ago.

There's just something about him, which never fails to esse your mind, yet you still struggle to put a name on it.

"I've talked to Yeonie and the boys about this quite a lot and have realised that most of these rules were rather ridiculous. You can wear whatever you want and personalise your desk however you see fit. Please also don't hesitate to call or text me whenever you need something, anything, really. I want you to see how much I appreciate your hard work and you've never done anything to make me doubt your abilities, which is why those rules are kind of nonsense."

You can't help but be a little iverwhelmed because not only has he never been this casual and smiley around you before but the fact he actually gave these things another thought to the point where he felt the need to talk to his friends about makes you feel incredibly seen and appreciated.

"That is really, really thoughtful of you, Sir, thank you so much", you say calmly and are surprised just how well you're hiding the excitement currently rushing through your body.

"I'm also going to organise a company car for you because I don't feel comfortable having you take the bus every single day after working so hard", this one Jongseong was the most nervous about. His urge to lay the world to your feet has been absolutely overwhelming and after quite a little bit of arguing back and forth with Sunghoon, the lawyer had managed to put the company car idea into the CEO's head instead of his initial idea of letting you live rent free in one of Seoul's most expensive apartments.

"That is not–", but Jongseong is determined and as soon as he cuts your words, you know there's no room for discussion left.

"It is necessary. Please, Y/N, let me do this for you. You work so hard snd you try your very best, at all times. Allow me to take care of you, it's the least I can do to show you my appreciation."

Fucking Park Jongseong.

Why the fuck did he have to pull the 'taking-care-of-you' card when literally every other explanation would have been the better choice? Because now that little voice you've been suppressing for the past few days, telling you that your boss isn't as neutral about you as he claims to be, has basically gotten a freeway ticket to freedom and you know it's going to be the only one up there for the next who knows how long.

"Thank you, Sir, I really appreciate this", you whisper and look away, whereas Jay refuses to look anywhere but you. He's been forcing himself to avoid you in any way possible for the past three months, he would never let an opportunity like this go to waste.

"Please, Y/N, let's try and be a little less formal with each other, yeah? I know I've been super keen on keeping everything strictly business but realising how much time we actually spend with each other has changed my mind", he says calmly, this time obviously a little hesitant. Jongseong doesn't want to let his intentions be known right away but rather ease you into it.

He rejected just a few weeks ago, no matter how badly he wants to dive head first into this and just tell you how crazy you've been driving him, he knows he has to slow it down for the sake of your mental and emotional well-being.

"I'll try my best to use your first name but I am afraid I won't get rid of the 'Sir' as easily", you chuckle nervously and carefully watch his reaction, only to regret your decision because the way he oh so obviously lets his eyes fall to your lips and back up has your blood boiling with arousal.

"That's okay", Jay replies calmly, "I like to hear that one from you anyway."

As if destiny heard the sirens in your head going off in response to his flirty little comment, the car comes to a stop and before you can actually think of a verbal answer, Jay's bodyguard has already opened your door.

The following hour is filled withw ay too many hugs and handshakes as Hoonie makes sure to introduce you to everyone you're not familiar with and by the time you finally get the opportunity to sit down, your friends are already all over you.

You don't tell them about your conversation with your boss, too shy and embarassed but also a little scared someone might hear and for some reason their lack of knowledge eases your nerves and soothes your anxiety in the best way possible.

It's a rather small gathering with about twenty people, most of whom you know, which makes the evening so much more bearable than you had initially expected.

The fact that your boss can barely keep his eyes off of you doesn't help much with your nervousness but you can't even deny how much you're liking it.

Every time one of his or your own boys comes a little too close to you, Jay physically tenses up to the point where you can actually watch the way his knuckles start turning white from his tight grip on the table when Jungwon pulls you into a silly little bear hug.

For a while, you completely forget about your actual relation to Park Jongseong. In this moment, you're just two adults with way too much chemistry and sexual tension and it feels like neither one of you is trying to suppress or run away from it.

You can't help but feel a little bit silly for gaining hope yet again but for some reason tonight feels different. Jay's never been this relaxed and casual around you, seeing him interact with his friends in such an environment is something you've honestly daydreamed about and to see it become reality seems surreal.

To your surprise, you find yourself seated next to none other than the man who's been messing with your head for the past three months and as the official dining part of Sunghoon's birthday dinner is about to start, Jongseong casually pulls your chair out for you to sit.

Nothing but a whispered thank you falls past your lips as you try your very best to stay calm but as soon as your gaze meets your group of friends, you know exactly how well that attempt went.

You don't let the girls' wide eyes and smiles as well as the boys shocked facial expressions get to you, the only person you allow yourself to indulge in is your boss, who's been more than just adamant about having a proper conversation with you.

It doesn't take long for his boys to chime in this time and even if he can hide his annoyance very well, he knows their actual intentions. With a soft sigh, Jay decides to pull himself out of your argument about which kind of stew is the best and why, his eyes never once averting from you as they take in your breathtaking beauty.

Maybe it's because he hasn't allowed himself to actually look at you in person or maybe it's because he wanted to maintain the mental and emotional distance to you, but regardless of the reasoning, Jongseong realises that up until tonight he's never fully comprehend just how beautiful you are.

Everything about your facial expressions, from the way you raise your eyebrows or scrunch your nose, as well as your brsathtaking smile and your incredibly adorable laughter simply blows him away.

He dowsn't even realise that Jake as well as Heeseung have gone back to their seats until you tilt your head to the side and meet his curious gaze.

"Hoonie's gonna hold a speech, Jay", you say softly and never once in his life has he loved the sound of someone saying his first name as much as this.

"Oh, right, sorry", he replies quickly and clears his throat, his cheeks filling with blood as embarassmenr overwhelms him, so to avoid an even worse moment, he simply turns around to face his best friend, who's just a single shot away from being absolutely drunk, yet makes sure to hold his yearly birthday dinner speech.

And as the waiters serve the appetizers and side dishes, you finally have a moment of absolute peace, only for the constant vibration of your phone to disturb you.

For some "unknown" reason you're so not in the mood to talk to Jiwoong. It's not line you're going to cancel the date over a simple conversation you probably misinterpreted yet again but talking to him on a night where your boss gives you his actual attention just doesn't feel right.

And on top of that you really don't feel like being on your phone all the time.

With a soft sigh you put your phone right between your own plate and Jay's, knowing he might notice the unnecessary high amount of messages you're receiving and all you can do is hope that he won't actually comment on it.

"Someone seems to really need your attention right now", Jongseong suddenly says and he has no idea why he actually decided to say anything because as soon as he got a single glimpse of the contact name a few minutes ago, his blood has been boiling with rage and jealousy.

It's not like he has the right to feel the way he does but the mere thought of you with that loser of a man makes him want to take you back to his place and claim you in the most intimate way possible.

You're his and he'll make sure to let every single fucker on this planet know about it as soon as possible.

However, until he's made sure he's won you over again, Jay has no choice but to accept your decisions.

And for now, Jong doesn't mind. He's known to be a patient man. He knows exactly when and how he has to handle these things, if he didn't he would have never made it this far.

He'll just make sure to have you forget about every single one of your little boy toys once you let him back into your heart.

"Well, I've got great company here and it'd be a shame if I wasted a night like this by staring at my phone the whole time, right?"

Your response it witty and slightly sassy, your smile actually cheeky and even if Jay knows it's the few glasses of champagne talking, he can't hold back the little chuckle regardlessly.

"Exactly", he says calmly and holds his whiskey glass up, waiting for you to react to his offer and as soon as you xlink your own against his, that heaviness on his chest seems to get just light enough for him to take a deep breath.

And as he watches you burst into loud laughter because of Sunghoon's random childhood story, he knows he has to have you. There's no way he's going to back away ever again until you're his and his only.

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

(A/N: I know this one's a little boring BUT it's super important because from now on Jay's finally about to act on those feelings and not just write them down and be all grumpy about the whole situation. I just wanted to thank you all for the love and support, you guys never fail to make me feel so loved and appreciated and it's everything to me. Sending everyone the fattest kiss! Feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!!!!🤍🧸)

TAGLIST CLOSED: @soonigiri @xrr-s4sha @kwiwin @heelcvr @deobitifull @kpoprhia @doodlelibrary @abrazosolorcereza @certifiedmoa @sleeping-demons @heerinnie @ohmy-moonlightx @heeswif3y @hoonieluv @fakeuwus @jjaeyuns @cheybabey @ineedsomezzz @super-amberlynn @kshoshi @tinie03 @soiimo @mimikittysblog @primroselover @heebrry @jebetwo @donghyckl @07myonlylove @enhamysunshines @quemirasboboandapaya @lostwonderwall @seuomo @enhaz1 @teawithbucky @beomgyusonlywife @dammit-jjk @lhsvibez @azurez @boutyouwonu @finchyyy @ocyeanicc @jaylaxies @glitterssim @in-somnias-world @zerasari @spookyauthorspopmusictrash @capri-cuntz @fluerz @3amstarlight

till forever falls apart 𑁍ࠬܓ jake sim

pairing: widower!jake x fem!reader

genre: LOTS of angst like a lot, childhood friends to lovers, hurt/comfort/no comfort, some fluff here and there, coming of age, bittersweet ending.

word count: 8k words (or more..)

synopsis: jake came unto your life when you needed it the most. you didn’t expect it but he did and it all did happen on that one specific bench behind the beach you both grew up on, that one summer night. jake just had no idea you would slip through his fingers the way you did. and not that fast either.

warnings: character death, grief & loss, jake is a widower and has a daughter, unknown illness, mature language & cursing, low self worth, depression, mental break downs, fighting, marriage, mentions of seizures, hospitality, medication, just a lot of sad shit i’m so sorry in advanced.

a/n: here it is. mind you i wrote this with a heavy heart and a lot of thoughts in mind ( ; ω ; ) but either way i hope you all like this as much as i liked writing it. this is not proofread by the way, i apologize.

Jake’s feet were practically dragging. Everyone would probably have noticed that but in that moment, his biggest wish would probably be to erase everyone’s existence. He’s been living in his own shadow for felt like years. The only one he’s been vividly making eye contact with was his daughter and the florist he’s been going to for the past few months. Yet it felt for much longer. After all he was counting the days. With a heavy heart that was once filled to the brim with happiness and all the things he’s ever wanted.

The florist, a lady in her late fifties, always welcomed Jake with open arms and it was gestures like that, that made him feel smaller than ever. He wanted to return it, he really did but all he could do, was request the bouquet of flower he was in search for, with an even heavier heart. And if the words weren’t enough, he would point to that one specific section where they were kept. It usually didn’t take long since he memorized it.

Your favorite ones.

Peonies.

His mom called him before he left to buy those flowers. He was surprised with how different she sounded compared to him, or maybe it was because he was starting to forget how everyone sounded, especially those the closest to him. After all he was completely wrapped up in his own arms that felt far too empty and cold to the touch that he couldn’t help but let it happen. With his phone pressed to his ear, he let his mom do the talking while he was busy staring at nothing. More like the place where you used to sleep beside him and him basking in the comfort of your soft snores. You felt so close, so warm. You provided the warm that was missing and now he had to bask unto nothing but coldness. A lit up candle couldn’t even mend the wounds together. He had no idea how long he stayed on the phone with his mom for but at some point he could hear her sniffle and being in the state he was, he couldn’t ask her what was wrong. He was barely doing better himself.

And the call ended with him saying nothing and her saying it wasn’t his fault. The exact same thing she said the last time he saw her those many months ago.

He was debating whether to go check in on his daughter, knowing she would question the state he was. It wad the witty and her ability to be attentive and Jake knew she got that from you. He saw you right through her.

These were one of the days where he was far too deep unto the dark corners of his mindset where he didn’t bother with himself and how hard he was on himself. Jake almost breathed a sigh in relief when he saw his daughter still passed out in her bed, white sheets pulled up to her chin and tightly wrapped around her, the cloud lamp that you gifted to her on her fourth birthday, perfectly dimmed and casting a mellow glow over the roundness of her cheeks. Down on the floor, was Layla sleeping, with her resting on her front paws. The dog he got when he was ten, the one you raised with him.

This was one of the moments where Jake allowed himself to smile, a small smile without feeling bad for doing so.

Jake shook his head when he heard a voice briefly pull him out of his thoughts. His visions cleared and he saw the florist give him a sympathetic smile, probably sensing something, the grey hair framing her face in a way that matched her soft yet gentle features.

“Are you okay, young man?”

Jake was a bit taken aback but settled for a nod before eyeing the bouquet that the lady has managed to wrap up with obvious care.

It was like she saw right through him.

“I know what it’s like to lose someone.” She sadly smiled.

“These flowers,” She gestured to the Peonies, “They are for someone.. someone special, aren’t they?”

Gulping, Jake averted his eyes but still nodded.

“She was my everything,” He slowly forced out and he saw the lady perk up, “My childhood sweetheart, my best friend, my wife. And the mother to our daughter.”

“She was also basically everything I wasn’t yet she still made sure to remind me that she would love me no matter what. Her grip on my hand was tight until it wasn’t but even so, I knew she wouldn’t let go no matter what,” Jake swallowed back his urge to cry, but talking about her tugged at the strings holding him together. And he felt like the lady sensed that before she settled a old wrinkly hand on his shoulder.

The tears were already rolling down by then. Tears he’s been holding in all those months ever since.

“She sounded lovely,” Patting his shoulder, she continued, “I know she would’ve been proud of you especially for still being here, somewhere on the ground where she can look at you from afar,”

“I miss her, ma’am.” Looking up with bloodshot eyes, the lady offered another sympathetic smile, before handling him a tissue.

“I know, child.” She nodded, “I’m not saying you will overcome this grief soon or frankly ever. But you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. When you think about her, please do not always think about the negatives that comes along with it, think about the fact that out of everyone, you were the one she chose. Think about how she chose to love you even with all your flaws and how none of those things would ever change the way she saw you.”

Jake remembered the day. Clear and bright under the moonlight. He was eleven, fairly tall for his height with black strands that always fell over his eyes with how the wind always loved to mess with it. Everyone said that he had that soft look yet gentle demeanor look from his mom, he’s heard it so much to the point where he started believing them. After all his mom was a phenomenal woman.

Ever since dad walked out on both of them, mom has tried her hardest to raise him by herself despite her being young still. She was still in her youth and it was a sad sight to not see her do all the things people her age did. Travel the world, figure out themselves and planning their future without anyone standing in their way of doing so. Jake’s biggest fear was being in her way specifically, being a burden but the warmth from her embrace managed to tell him everything he needed to know. And so he tried his best to help her despite not knowing half of the things he did but he didn’t want his mom to cry anymore. He didn’t want her to downgrade herself and blame herself for things that were out of her control. He wanted her to go to bed with a gentle mindset and now all of the things that used to eat her up.

His mom went to sleep early that night and Jake promised himself that he would prep himself his own dinner and cut up some fruit for his mom since he knew she loved those, and then take out the trash.

Opening the gates, he dragged the plastic bag behind him before dumping it in the big green trash container. The summer nights were getting warmer and times like this reminded Jake off how much he loved it. Giving a toothy grin, he whipped his two hands on the front of his shorts before turning back to head inside, but not before casting a look over his shoulder.

There he saw someone. A few feet away from him.

At first, Jake had no idea what they were doing before walking closer. They were just. Sitting on the bench, in front of the beach. How odd.

“If you’re gonna stare, can you at least be less.. obvious with it?” The person asked, almost nonchalantly.

It was a girl.

Jake didn’t respond, fear of embarrassing himself further so he settled for walking closer to her before taking a seat beside her. So this was what she was doing, just looking at the waves. This late at night?

The young boy scratched behind his head with a small chuckle, “Sorry.. I didn’t think you would notice me,”

She casted him a side eye look before rolling her eyes.

“You’re not exactly quiet.”

And then she turned to stare back at the beach’s many waves. The stars glimmering in reflection with the water. It was beautiful, he couldn’t deny that.

He never bothered looking at where she was looking. But instead he decided to take her in. She was dressed in a white nightgown with a scruff at the end and at the ends of the sleeves, her hair wasn’t tied up or anything but fell behind her shoulders due to the wind, pointy nose, eyelashes casting a dim shadow on her the top of her cheeks which were a bit flushed due to the not too chilly breeze.

Jake might’ve been young but he wasn’t young enough to not know was beauty was when he saw it. And this might have been the prettiest girl he’s ever laid his eyes on. She might’ve been as beautiful as his mom.

“You really have a staring problem,” She told him, amusement evident in her voice.

“What!” Jake shook his head before scooting away from her, “What is that even supposed to mean!”

“Hmmm…” The still unknown girl tapped her chin lightly.

“It means you stare too much. My mom says that stuff will have you go blind.”

So this was how she wanted to play.

“Well, she’s wrong!”

He knew he hit a sensitive spot when the girl before him gaped lightly at what he said before huffing. He felt the panic dwell in and he was about to apologize before he heard her burst unto a fit of laughter.

“You should have seen the look on your face!”

Jake knew that day, that her laughter, that sound was his favorite melody of all time.

⋆

If anyone asked what you thought of Jake, the first thing that immediately came to your mind was — an oddball.

It didn’t add more to it when you both lived in the same neighborhood. Only two houses away from each other. To add more to it, your mom and his mom knew each other since they used to go to the same highschool together. They both suffered from the loss of their husbands, with yours dying before you were even born, which meant you had no idea who he was. So you lived off your mom’s words about him, the picture frames around the house and the photobooks your mom kept in a small box in the basement.

It was like your moms’ relationship drew you closer to Jake and now that you took a closer look at him, he wasn’t so bad and he wasn’t as irritating as the other boys in your class. The ones who said girls had cooties and girl disease. In fact, you took a hold of how Jake wanted or more so, looked forward to spending time with you any chance he got. He also came by a lot especially after school asking for you. You were pretty sure your mom held some kind of favoritism towards him because she never wasted a breath when it came to the boy with the brightest eyes you’ve ever seen. And before you knew it, you warmed up to him. It didn’t take long but it wasn’t fast either. You were a girl with a lot of things on your mind and frankly, you were just perfectly fine in your own world and peace. But Jake managed to add something to that. You had no idea what or how, but he did.

“Y/N look!”

You looked up from how absentmindedly you were coloring in a butterfly, when you saw Jake running towards you..

With a dog? On a leash?

You sat up with a slight gasp at the sight out of the creature and before you knew it, the dog hopped on you leaving gentle but happy licks all over your face.

“Layla, no!” Jake yelled sternly.

Holding up your arms, you tried blocking them away with a loud laugh before you settled for petting her. Not before pushing her away tho.

“Oh my,” The boy before you sighed in distress, a hand coming up to wipe the sweat off his forehead. “I’m so sorry about that Y/N. She’s still a puppy, so she’s full of energy,”

“Don’t apologize,” You shake your head before allowing Layla to take up the space on your lap for some more scritches.

“But I’m kinda mad, why didn’t you tell me you had a dog!”

“Umm…” Jake giggled sheepishly, “I actually just got her a few days ago. I was gonna tell you eventually..”

You gasped in mock offense before picking up a coloring pencil to throw at him.

“Hey!”

“You could’ve still have told me!”

“I was going to!”

Your bickering stopped by Layla jumping off your lap and running around the both of you in circles, indicating she wanted to play and have some energy spent. As if she hasn’t done that already.

“We we’re actually planning on going to the beach,”

Jake saw the way your eyes lit up and he couldn’t help the quick stutter his heart did. What was this feeling?

“Really? Can I join?”

“That was the plan, silly,”

Dusting off your lap from Layla’s jump earlier, you were about to stand up before two hands grabbed yours. Gently, they pulled you up to your feet and then gently let go. Almost as if knowing what was going on, Layla looked back and forth between the two young humans in front of her, before she barked to gather their attention.

“Oh! Uh, she’s getting impatient, we should go,” Jake quickly mumbled out before picking up his dog’s leash off the where he dropped it in the grass.

“Wait!” You looked back at your house before looking back at your friend.

And by then, Jake already knew what was stirring up your hesitation. He smiled at you reassuringly.

“I already told your mom. She said dinner will be done by the time you’re home.”

You could finally let out the breath you’ve been holding.

“Plus your mom loves me,” Jake quipped teasingly.

The young boy laughed at your eye roll and before you both knew it, you were both running, along with Layla down to the beach, with the dog before the both of you barking profusely with a hint of excitement. The whole afternoon was just you and Jake by each other’s side, with his dog running back and forth in the water. She even shook all of her water from her fur at both of you at some point to the point where you both were on the sand rolling around, both of your laughters mixing together that mingled in the sky above off you. It added more to the memories and you both knew you would be thinking about that day till the day you both grew old and wrinkly.

You knew that day, that you wouldn’t wanna spend days like these with anybody but with Jake.

⋆

Years went by, things blossomed and so did your bond with Jake.

It went from meeting him to that one random night on the beach, to you finding out you lived just barely away from each other, to you starting classes together properly after your mom’s job paid her enough for that to happened. You remember the sheer happiness when she told you that and how much that meant to younger you. You weren’t isolated by any means, in fact, your mom encouraged you to check the world for yourself. But you would rather have things done at your pace, so that’s what you did. Luckily she understood and you were beyond thankful.

You also noticed changes about Jake. At some point you and him were the same height, but ever since highschool hit, he’s grown like a head, almost two heads taller than you. He’s grown his fringes out, even at some point dyed it through the school years to the point where you had no idea how many times he did it. You remember one time dyeing it for him tho and that shit was a complete disaster and you wouldn’t have blamed him if he wanted to bald that way. You were still attached to the hip pretty much.

But something that has been coming back to biting you, was that you had no idea where you and Jake’s relationship were interlinked at. You were both seniors in highschool now and things were rocky. God forbid your younger self thought that growing older would result in you being able to talk about your feelings and emotions better, but no. You realized that wasn’t the case. There was definitely something holding you back. You just didn’t wanna come to terms with what it was. Running a hand through your head, you plopped down your bed, arms and legs spread out.

“Y/N?” You suddenly heard someone knock on your door before a head peeked in.

“Did you remember to take your medication?” She asked before stepping foot unto your room.

“Mom.. we already talked about this,”

“You can’t just keep pushing me away,” She insisted

You huffed before sitting, “Can’t we talk about this later please? I have to study for an upcoming exam. I promise I’ll take them later,”

“Y/N—“

“—Mom please..” You looked away from her, voice wavering, “Don’t make this harder than it already is.”

You heard her sigh, before footsteps and the sound of your door being closed.

Reaching out for your phone on your bedside, your first instinct was to text Jake. But you knew the sound of his voice was exactly what you needed right now. More than anything. Hovering your thumb over his Caller ID, you slowly started debating if this really was a good idea. Now that you think about it, you and Jake haven’t really talked much due to busy schedules, and you’ve also noticed him confiding comfort in a group of friends you’ve never talked to before, while you had a group of friends of your own.

You missed him. And it was eating you up from the inside.

“Fuck it,” You whispered before dialing his number.

The ringing was not a fit match for how quick your heart was beating, it was practically beating out of your chest and you didn’t like it. Not one bit. But you couldn’t deny in how much need you were of his voice. It was almost embarrassing.

He still had no idea.

“Y/N?”

You smiled. After all this time, his voice was still your favorite tune.

“Hi Jake..”

“Y/N? Hey. Is everything okay?”

“Why do you always assume that something’s wrong?” You giggled and even tho you couldn’t see his face, you knew his face was definitely scrunched up in his one infamous frowns.

“Well, I’m sorry for caring I guess,”

“No you’re not,”

“You’re right, I’m not.”

The same old Jake.

“I miss you, y’know?” He finally spoke up, “I feel like I barely see you anymore.”

“I’m still here, Jake. Life has just.. been busy you know—“

“—Y/N, no,”

You heard some shuffling on the other side of the line, before a dejected sigh.

“It’s because I barely see you anymore. Even your friends are worried about you. You’re still at school, I know you are because I know you wouldn’t miss any of your classes no matter how busy or tired you are but you always disappear so quickly after..”

“Like is there something you aren’t telling me?”

You wanted to tell him.

You wanted to tell him so badly but you couldn’t bear the thought of seeing the look on his face when you did. He would be crushed and you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself for that.

“Nothing is wrong. Everything is fine. Why wouldn’t they be?”

“Y/N—“

“No y’know what? I actually called you because I needed you and now you throw this on me—You and my mom are exactly the same. You both say the same shit and it’s pissing me off,” Not wasting a second thought, you hung up before throwing your phone on your bed, silent tears rolling down your face.

You went to sit on the bench by the beach the same day, after you heard your mom went to bed. Pulling up your knees closer to yourself, you were silently beating yourself up for not wearing something warmer. Though, you were eyeing your jacket, more or so Jake’s jacket that was hanging around your chair but decided not to take it at last minute.

Wrapping your arms around your knees, you took a look up at the night sky. The moon was seeking it’s place behind some dark clouds, the stars were doing their own things, the wind was getting colder. It was as if everything was going by slower? Or faster? You were not sure anymore but you knew it’s been an push and pull trick ever since that day.

Would it be too early to give up now?

“I knew I would find you here.”

“You can’t keep running away from us, from me, Y/N. I won’t let that happen,”

You turned your head, tears slowly starting to brim your eyes again. You didn’t want him to see you this way. Then there is a sudden pressure on your shoulders and by now you knew Jake has wrapped your upper body up in his jacket, with him now in his white sweatshirt and black plaid pajamas pants. He wasn’t expecting any response from you, in fact, he was just happy to be in your presence and not you running away nor pushing him away.

“I won’t force you to say anything,” He slowly sits down, the space beside you always available for him. There hasn’t been a day where it hasn’t been.

“But.. I hope you know you can talk—“

“I don’t have a lot of time, Jake,”

The first pen drop.

When you didn’t receive any response, you turned your head and hoped for the worst. Jake was still staring forward, towards the waves and how more far away they suddenly sounded.

“I only have two years left.”

That made him turn his head to look at you. The look in his eyes made your heart drop. In all these many years you’ve known Jake, you have never seen him look like this, so empty, so hollow of thoughts, so broken and if you weren’t such a mess yourself, you would have tried to pick up pieces back together. But what was it worth if you couldn’t even pick up your own? Staying alive at this point felt like a chore, a walk even down to the beach sometimes took all the air out of your lungs if you didn’t take your medications.

You managed to catch the tear you saw roll down his cheek with the soft pad of your thump. He gripped your wrist in his hand when he felt it about to retreat and held it up to his cheek, fearing you would disappear faster if he didn’t. Your warmth was all he needed now. Jake hated asking for too much but he wanted to be selfish for once, right now.

“I’m sorry,” You shook your head, feeling the tears roll again, “I should’ve told you. But this was what I was fearing for. Seeing your reaction, seeing the look on your face especially after—“

Feeling a warm gentle hand cupping your cheek, you felt your words get caught in your throat when you took in the way he looked at you now. There was still sadness lingering but you really couldn’t put a finger on what the rest was. But that didn’t really occur your mind. You just needed him to say something.

“Jake, please say something..” You begged, voice cracking, “Yell at me, scream at me, anything!”

You failed to see the way he moved closer.

“Especially for the way I’ve been treating you. That’s the least I deserve,” Pushing at his chest, you couldn’t help but let more tears roll, the place on your lap a sea of your own sorrows by that point

“Why are you looking at me like that, Jake please—“

Your hands faltered their pushing on his chest when you felt something soft yet wet on your lips. Closing your eyes which were still filled with tears, you pushed yourself closer and basked in the gentle kiss that belonged to him.

It was always him.

You knew it by now, you knew it ever since your first encounter on that one night at the beach, at the exact same place where you were at now.

⋆

A lot has changed, with how low your energy has gotten, you couldn’t bring yourself to attend to classes psychically anymore. And by what your personal doctor has said, any stress can trigger the most especially in the state you’re in right now and nobody, especially your mother wouldn’t ever wanna take that risk. So you settled for going to school but at home instead, in the walls of your room. Your routine has gotten progressively more straightforward than what it usually was. You were drained and the eye bags under your would tell anyone a story that you, yourself wouldn’t be able to, lips chapped and peeling. You could barely recognize the sight of yourself anymore.

Jake was walking around with a heavy heart. You were finally his but at what cost? These past weeks has just been him lingering by your side more and more each day to the point he might practically live at your place now. Frankly, he wasn’t doing better himself. He was beating himself up for making everything seem like your fault when nothing was ever your fault to begin it. The world was just too cruel to make space for someone as precious and as delicate as you, the world never deserved you. Jake can’t count the amount of times he’s managed to utter those words to you, while trailing his browns over your features, with your hands interlocked under the sea of stars and crescent moon. And he memorized your reaction to his words each time. You were really the most endearing piece of art to him.

He knew you were trying. You even told him you were so he wouldn’t worry too much, you would fe your ribs construct whenever you saw the way he was trying so hard to keep himself from breaking down when he felt the warmth from your hands, from your body slowly leave your body day by then. All that warmth that you usually provided, was all gone. All the warmth he would confide in whether it was after a stressful day after of classes, work or the insignificant days where he got unto an argument with his mother. He was seeking for your warmth everywhere he went.

Yet Jake held unto the last amount of warmth you had left. That was all he could do.

“Jake,” He heard his mother’s voice speak up before he felt her shake his shoulders, obviously trying to wake him from his afternoon nap.

“I’m up, I’m up,” Groaning he sat up and was met with his mom’s frantic pacing.

He gave her a confused look.

“Mom—?”

“It’s Y/N,” She breathed out, “Her mom just called from the at the hospital..”

“Apparently she had a seizure,”

That was then Jake felt his whole world collapse.

This couldn’t be..

“B-But how.. I.. She was okay when I saw her last day..” He felt his breath getting stuck along with his world. This couldn’t be. His mom didn’t say anything but instead pulled him unto his arms and that was where Jake allowed himself to break down fully. Without any care in the world. You were getting further and further away each day and he had no idea how to cope with it. He was angry, frustrated, why was he letting this happen? Why couldn’t he have done more? For you?

You deserved everything, but this.

⋆

“I will miss seeing the stars,”

Even with a light hoarse lilt to your voice, it still sounded soft and gentle in Jake’s ears. Like it always has. You were wearing a soft smile when looking at the stars from the hospital window, that never seemed to falter when you turned to look at him.

“I know you will, my love.”

Your smile faltered when you noticed that he was in deep in thoughts. He always we’re but this time it wasn’t out of sheer sadness and distress but more like.. he was bashful?

“Is something bothering you, my Jake?”

He didn’t respond but from the corner of your eyes, you saw him pull out a small black velvet box. You gasped.

“I know we’re still young and all but..” He says carefully, “But you’re probably the only person I’ve ever felt this sure with. This secure with and I honestly couldn’t have asked for someone better,”

Slowly opening the box, there was it. A ring. A silver ring littered with small diamonds on the sides, with the biggest one being shaped in a crystallized star. You looked up and you realized Jake hasn’t looked away from you once, trying his best to read your reaction and body language, making sure he hasn’t been overstepping anything.

“I know you hate asking for much, just like I do but..”

“Jake I..” You shake your head, eyes wide, “It’s beautiful..”

Taking out the ring from the box, he gently took your hand before slipping the ring on before bringing it up to seal it with a kiss to your knuckles.

“You don’t have to say anything.. I know that—“

“My Jake, of course I wanna marry you..”

⋆

Jake woke up startled to the someone knocking on his front door. Automatically he reached beside him but was met with nothing but the cold sheets.

Heaving another deep sigh from his chest, he slipped on slippers before walking downstairs, careful not to wake up his daughter. He was met with Layla who was pressing her snout against the door, curious herself, tail slightly wagging before letting out a small bark at the sight of her owner

“Hey girl,” He cooed with a scratch to the canine’s head, “Be quiet now, wouldn’t wanna wake anyone up would we?”

Honestly, Jake had no idea what he was expecting when opening the door but..

“Mrs. Y/N?”

“Hi son..” She muttered, “I hope you’re doing okay. Look, I-I don’t have much time but this morning I came across this while cleaning up in Y/N’s room and found this,”

The woman gave a careful smile and that was then he noticed a small envelope in her hand.

“I was about to open it but I think it was meant for you,”

Carefully taking the letter, he examined it before turning it around where he noticed something written in messy yet distinguished writing.

‘For him <3’

⋆

‘Dear you,

I don’t know what this letter will be when you receive it but I hope it lands safely in your hands.

Life hasn’t been easy and to be honest, I never expected it to be. You and I both know that. But what I do know is that you’ve made my life easier. I don’t know if that has do with the solace from your words or the stars from your eyes. But in me somewhere, I knew you changed my life for the better. I can’t think of a person who’s made me laugh and smile as much as you have, I think that itself alone is impossible if you ask me.

I hope you aren’t too hard on yourself. And if you are, a reminder that I never wanted you to be and neither does your mother and our daughter. I may not be here when you read this so please think about them when life gets hard and when you can feel yourself shift the blame on yourself for all the things that was never your fault to begin with. I didn’t ask for how my life turned out, neither did you. None of us did. Life just has some dwelling sometimes and at some point, they like to take it out on one of us.

It’s not fair. I know.

But I hope you can look up at the stars and see me.

I will always be here with you.

Your, Y/N L/N.’

taglist: @karinasbaby @nishions @hittoki @superbbananananana @mimizen127 @jjunie-0 @ghostiiess

2024 © fariest, do not copy, modify or post my work to other sites

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ꜱᴇᴠᴇɴ

CHAPTER SEVEN - KONOHA.

WORDS - 3,366.

RATING - G+.

SUMMARY - sarada and suiren sneak out to the hokage mansion.

feedback would be appreciated!

previous chapter - chapter six.

Sarada anxiously breathed through her nose, the older twin had wondered how deep asleep their mother had to be for them to successfully sneak out of their home, verily, Sarada and Suiren had numerous of attempts when they had attempted to creep out of their home just be met with an offended pink-haired woman standing in front of the entrance.

Sarada and Suiren had briefly spoke about how today’s shift must’ve been tiresome for their mother ere they proceeded with their trip towards the Hokage Mansion. As Sarada held herself unsure the girl had yet protectively stood in front of her sister as she had guided them towards the destination.

“I think within this time we can just walk in,” Suiren muttered and as Sarada had shifted her red frames up the bridge of her nose, she had let out a shaky breath.

“I wonder why I agreed to do this,” Sarada responded and quickly, Suiren had shot her sister a look.

“Because we’re sisters, twins specficially and the Water Stone is mine,” Suiren hastily answered and surprised, the short-haired girl had stopped in her tracks and as kickback, Suiren had walked into her.

Annoyed, Suiren had stood up straight as her look had effortlessly expressed her annoyance. “The Water Stone is yours?” Sarada slowly repeated and suspicious, Sarada had fully twisted her gaze towards her sister, arms crossed, curious with her younger sister’s intentions. “I thought the Water Stone belonged to the Land of Water.”

“And I’m the amplifier,” Suiren corrected. “If the Stone wasn’t mine---I’d have no connection to it.”

Easily defeated, Sarada had dropped her shoulders. “You’re right,” and in triumph, Suiren had bounced on her feet, her hands had fell against her sister’s shoulders ere she had pushed Sarada to resume their trip towards the Hokage Mansion.

The rest of walk had been quiet, with brief speeches being thrown between the two sisters, besides the fact that the night had been eerily dark and quiet, which had normally contrasted the scene that usually bustled in Konoha, Sarada had slowly gathered the enthusiasm to get the Stone with her sister, yet it wasn’t like Sarada would turn around and leave her sister to do it on her own. As much as she did not want to do it, she was just as curious and due to that, the older twin had reticently cursed herself for being so indecisive.

Plus, Suiren had been correct, mayhap security had a meeting, but to enter the Hokage Mansion was very easy for the two girls, though, if Suiren had been truthful, Konoha had a thing where it had been too trusting of its citizens.

“What do you want the Stone for?” Sarada questioned and with her presence now beside her older sister, Suiren briefly glanced in the direction of Sarada.

“It’ll help with my powers,” Suiren truthfully responded.

“Water Powers?” Sarada figured and intrigued, she had once more twisted her arms around each other. “What about the other Stones, do you think you’ll need them?”

“There’ll be a moment where I’ll need to get those as well, I don’t understand what the outcome will be,” Suiren said, “but I know it’ll help me with something.”

Comprehensive with Suiren’s claim, Sarada had remained silent and Suiren could feel the uneasy essence breeze from her sister, awkwardly, Suiren has scratched her elbow, a clumsy grin on her face. “Wow, I’m surprised how easy it is for us to freely walk down the mansion,” Suiren mentioned, it had been at least two minutes since the girls had walked down the dimly lit corridors, Suiren had occasionally forgotten how many doors they were in the building, it had reminded the long-haired girl of being in a train speeding past houses.

“Do not jinx it,” Sarada whispered and the second Sarada’s short sentence had left her lips, a tall figure had stood in front of them, a tall man that had carried shoulder-length hair, and had worn the standard join outfit, Suiren had recognised the appearance, the man that had worn his forehead protector like a bandana, chiefly with his trademark toothpick in his mouth with that usual calm look on his face.

Genma.

He was someone who usually worked for the Hokage two seats back, their Godmother, Lady Tsunade, Suiren had thought perhaps he had wanted to work for Lord Naruto now since he was known to be a man who was always on his feet. Though, currently, his calm exterior had been replaced with a hasty scowl.

“What are you two doing here?” Genma asked and caught red-handed, the two girls froze in their spots as the looming figure of the tall being had stalked over them.

Perplexed and stuck on how to explain themselves, Sarada and Suiren had quickly exchanged looks as they reticently debriefed on how to execute their reason.

Eventually confident, Suiren stood up straight as her face twisted into a close and rapacious demeanour. “We should be allowed here since Lord Hokage is like our uncle.”

Stupefied, Genma pulled himself back as he grumbled a few incomprehensible words that lowly expressed his surprise. “I-“

“I promise if you do not get out of my way, I will cause the biggest scene!” Suiren raised, “and I don’t know if you are aware, but I’m very persuasive, Genma, I’ll find way to knock you out of the position and have you forbidden from entering this place again!”

Shocked, both Sarada and Genma lingered in surprised silence---just as Suiren had delivered a dainty toothy smile. The only noise that had articulated was the light sounds that echoed from the clacks of Suiren’s heeled boots, as she swerved right past the older man’s body and resumed her trip to where the Water Stone resided in.

Gently humoured, Sarada quickly turned her face from the man and quickly followed her sister’s footsteps, suddenly at ease on how fun the little trip from their home had become.

⋆｡‧₊°꧁ ༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻ ꧂‧₊˚.⋆

Careful, the two girls had snuck into the room the Water Stone had laid imprisoned in, the room had been dark thus Sarada had been able to observe the light flicker from the stone waved the second it had sensed Suiren’s arrival. Reticent, Sarada remained intrigued, satisfied by the beauty of the object.

“Katsuke was interested in the stone,” Suiren began, and as she had closed the door behind them, Sarada had examined the chakra box the orb had been in, and with curiosity, Sarada had raised her hand to touch the chakra box---to be responded with an effect of ripples, which had caused her hand had quickly bounce off the object.

Amazed, Sarada pressed her impacted hand against her chest. Intrigued with the security that had been placed for it, she had now turned her vision towards her sister. “How are you going to get it out?” Sarada questioned and eagerly, Suiren had walked towards the object.

“There’s so much that you don’t know that’s been going on,” Suiren muttered and interested, Sarada had resumed to listen to her sister’s ramble---as she had patiently anticipated to see what her sister would do, though, before Suiren had done anything, she had turned to look at her sister, her soft eyes now solid and stern. “Promise me Sarada, that whatever you see or hear happen will not be mentioned to anyone else.”

Hesitant with anxiety, Sarada nodded her head. “I promise, I won’t tell anyone else.”

Thus, Suiren had begun to tell Sarada her story that had included Sora. The elements of the story she had been told from Dragon Spirit had been repeated to Sarada who stared at her, eyes wide like a bulb, comprehensive of the burden her sister had currently carried.

“The Water Stone will help with my life source,” Suiren said, and just as Sarada had attempted to inquire Suiren on how she would take the Water Stone, the younger Uchiha had already raised her hand in direct level of the chakra box, eyes pierced with concentration as Suiren pushed herself to think what she had wanted to do. Thus, as reality had bent to her will, Suiren’s hand had slowly entered the chakra box without restriction.

In awe, Sarada’s eyes glistened with surprise and shock as she had observed the circumstance displayed right in front of her. The moment Suiren had fully pulled the orb out of the transparent box, the stone had laid innocently against both of her palms, and the hue and brightness of the item had zapped in luminosity.

Suiren had gasped at the wind-like feeling that had gushed passed her body and through her veins and in reaction to her contact with the stone, her hair began to slowly float along with the other objects in the room, gently, Suiren had been lifted off her feet and mildly, her body had floated in the room, Sarada’s head had shadowed Suiren’s movements and had watched how the glow of the Water Stone had mirrored in Suiren’s eyes.

Blue light had emitted in Suiren’s eyes and as kickback, the atmosphere began to shake, as impact, during the time the power of the stone had inserted inside of her; Sarada had found trouble keeping herself on her feet. The tumbling of the room had vibrated throughout the rest of the building as the ethereal episode had played through Suiren and the second the abilities had been transferred inside the girl’s body a certain blond man had entered the room, alarmed.

The girl had gently landed on her feet and in sync the stone had stopped glowing and the shaking of the building had come to a halt. Too infatuated with what happened the twins hadn’t recognised the tall being who had looked down at them with surprise---until the graceless soft cough had emitted from his mouth and quickly, their heads had snapped towards his direction.

Lord Hokage.

Who had always introduced himself as their uncle, thus in short silent speculation, the girls had wondered how in deep trouble they were in.

⋆｡‧₊°꧁ ༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻ ꧂‧₊˚.⋆

“Entering the building at night without permission, threatening a member of the Hokage Palace, and attempt theft of a vital object---I can expect this from Suiren, but Sarada?” Naruto breathed, “how can you allow your sister to do this?”

Thus, in short remorse, Sarada had anxiously gulped down her anxiety as she puzzled the words she had wanted to use. Though, what she had wanted to say had been cut from the Hokage’s continuous complaint. “And you even allowed Suiren to take the powers from the Water Stone!”

“It’s not like I can give the power back,” Suiren said.

“God---I’m going to get in a lot of trouble with your mother---”

“You can just not tell her,” Suiren suggested and in a brief pause, Naruto shared a look with the long-haired girl who returned with a smile.

Hastily, the man sat up on his seat in deep thought, if he did play along with what Suiren had suggested, there could be many ways the outcome could manifest. “You were being irresponsible with the object,” Naruto said seriously and with how stern the man had sounded there was a quick whiplash of guilt the two girls quickly felt. “You have to tell your mother what you did and if you don’t, I’ll tell her myself.”

As kickback, the two girls gasped as they briskly shared a look with each other. “You’re being unfair!” Suiren cried out as she looked back at him, mild tears had fallen down her cheeks while Sarada placed a comforting hand against her sister’s back.

“I’m so sorry Hokage-Sama, as the older sister I should’ve been more wary,” Sarada apologised and in ponder, Naruto clasped his hands together.

“I won’t tell Sakura if Suiren makes up for it,” Naruto candidly implied and in that second, Suiren’s crocodile tears had come to a stop.

“Why do I have to be the only one to make up for it?” Suiren complained and with a knowing look, Naruto pulled himself to his feet.

“Because I know it was your idea,” he factually concluded and in a brief motion, Suiren folded her arms. “From now on, you have to babysit my daughter Himawari, starting tomorrow.”

It wasn’t like Suiren disliked Himawari, but with the gasp she had let out made it seem like she did; she had raised her hands up in defence and to influence her uncle to make another option but she was soon ushered out of the office as Lord Hokage commented that it was time for them to go back home to theiir mother.

⋆｡‧₊°꧁ ༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻ ꧂‧₊˚.⋆

The moment the house door had been unlocked, it was revealed that a certain pink-haired woman had motioned herself to gather her coat and slippers to search for her twin daughters, yet the moment the creak of the front door had been echoed through the Uchiha home, the matriarch had set herself to be relieved that her two girls were safe.

As she dropped her keys into her coat, Sakura hastily hugged her two girls, more relieved than angry. “Where were you two?!” She exclaimed in sadness and the second Sakura had pulled away from them, hands still on both of their shoulders, green eyes had quickly examined Suiren and Sarada to check for any bruises.

“I caught them having a night-walk,” Naruto answered and as he closed the door behind him, he quickly dusted his sandals against the welcome mat. Verily, Naruto didn’t like lying to his team-mate, but he’d rather not get in trouble with the woman known for her shocking temper. “During her time off missions, Suiren is going to be baby-sitting Himawari.”

Surprised, Sakura pulled her sight to her daughter, her expression agreeable. “It’ll take her mind off it,” Sakura said as she put her coat back onto its hanger and the moment Sakura finished her quick task, she walked towards her blond team-mate while the two girls silently walked towards the sofa.

Within Sakura’s and Naruto’s brief conversation, Suiren gently nudged her elbow into Sarada’s rib, eyes glinted with mischief that had Sarada wonder if there would be an end to her play. “Look,” Suiren whispered as she forcibly made her hand glow blue, in short awe, Sarada quickly covered Suiren’s hands in attempt to make Suiren not catch the attention of their mother.

“Be less obvious,” Sarada hushed and in response Suiren blew a light raspberry.

“She’ll be starting tomorrow,” the girls heard Naruto said and quickly, Suiren peeked her head towards the two adults. “Himawari is a brilliant child, there’ll be no issues,” Naruto winked and as Suiren didn’t utter a word, Sakura gathered the moment to tell the two girls to go back to bed.

⋆｡‧₊°꧁ ༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻ ꧂‧₊˚.⋆

It took Suiren less than five minutes to fall asleep and appear in the place she had dreamt nights before. She had observed that the place had still carried the gloomy redness she had first seen when she had first interacted with the area, but there had been a singular commodity that had changed.

It was warmer, Suiren had been grateful that she did not have to shiver and hug herself for heat thus she focused to look for the boy, as much as a hostile person he displayed himself to be, Suiren had still liked the presence he had given her, perhaps, it was because she knew there had been a more delicate personality that had been hidden under the steel-like shell. Suiren had not really been someone to continue conversing with people who had brought her nothing but rudeness. Though, as she had said before, her dreams had always had meanings and Suiren had been eager to decipher this one.

“Girl?”

Immediately, the girl had jumped, his arrival had been so airy that Suiren, the girl who had been known for her keen sensory hadn’t realised he was around till now. As she had turned to his direction, Suiren had sent him a look that displayed that she had disapproved of what he had just done. “I’m surprised to still see you here,” the boy said.

“It’s not like I wanted to be here,” Suiren replied and sassily, the girl had dropped her hand to her side as she had felt the offended look the boy had given her.

“Get out then.”

“Hmph,” Suiren rolled her eyes. “I just started dreaming, if I leave, I’ll wake up and I’m slumped.”

Silent, the boy had remained still as he had watched Suiren move closer to him, her features racy and undaunted with a hint of delicacy. “Why are you so hostile?” Suiren inquired and as much as her presence had made the boy feel nervous, he had still brought himself to furrow his eyebrows and throw a disdained look.

“Why are you so annoying?”

As a response, Suiren laughed. “The same can be asked to you,” she shrugged and offended he remained silent. His position still remained as before but his eyes shadowed every movement Suiren had made. “Where are you from?” Suiren asked, even though it was an attempt, there was a feeling that had underlined that the boy wouldn’t answer her question.

Annoyed, Suiren rolled her eyes as she strolled to where she had sat in the dream before, she had hugged herself as she pulled her legs against her chest. Quiet, the boy followed her, he still kept his distance but he had positioned himself closer than before. Patient, Suiren gently pressed the back of her head against the wall as she had waited for time to pass by.

“Are you going to sit there and wait for your energy to come back?” The boy asked and miffed, Suiren turned to look at the boy, irked.

“Well since you don’t want to have a normal conversation with me…” she trailed and annoyed, the boy pulled a face.

“We should focus on finding out why you’re here,” the boy countered and with a small tug on her lip, Suiren pulled her hands on top of her knees.

“Don’t you think answering questions about each other would help?” Suiren said, “I’ll go first, my name is Suiren.”

“That’s a pretty name,” he replied, “doesn’t it mean flint man?” He asked and the way his eyes glinted Suiren had understood that he had attempted to pull on her leg.

With a sour look on her face, Suiren turned to look away from him. “It also means lotus flower,” she said and humoured by his own comment, the boy had dryly chuckled at his own joke. “I’m also from Konoha.”

“I heard of that Village,” he commented, “I heard that the people there are known to be too nice.”

Suiren snorted in response, as she lowered her knees against her chest. “Well, I know that you’re hurt, scared and angry,” she listed as she returned her gaze to him and captured the furrowed gaze on his face. “I figured it out because this place symbolises your heart and your mind, it’s really dark and it lacks love here---”

“I’m not scared,” the boy spat and Suiren smiled.

“It’s okay to be scared,” Suiren said.

“I don’t fear anyone,” he continued.

“It’s okay to fear.”

“Who do you think you are?” The boy rudely asked. “Do you think you’re my saviour?!”

Surprised, Suiren threw her head back while a scoff had emerged from the back of her throat. “It wasn’t what I was planning to do---plus, isn’t the man supposed to be like that for the woman?”

Embarrassed, the boy turned his head away from her, unaware of the smirk that had been planted on her face. On the other hand, Suiren had then looked ahead of her. “I’ll be leaving now,” she said and as she pulled herself onto her feet, she prepared herself to leave, the boy peeled his lips separate from each other as he gathered the words to speak to her, but the girl had already left, leaving him alone in the dark abyss.

⋆｡‧₊°꧁ ༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻ ꧂‧₊˚.⋆

♆

when the silence breaks

part 1 | masterlist | requesting rules

summary: after a painful night at the club, the days that followed are filled with silence and heartache. that is, until a late-night knock at your door comes from a drenched and regretful yet determined max verstappen.

NOTE: no warnings are really needed, all you need to know is this is a part 2, and it’s just angst with a happy ending/ hurt+comfort.

w.c: 2.1k

a/n: part 2 to the max angst, this was written for the lovely @inevesgf again of course; but there was a few requests for a part 2 from you guys so here it is! i hope you all enjoy the ending, and let me know your thoughts on this via reblog, comments or asks! reminder that requests are open if you guys have any ideas.

it’s been a few days since the incident at the club, and the emotional toll has weighed on you heavily. every time your phone buzzes, you always look over in hope that one of the notifications are from max, but it’s never him.

the silence was deafening.

you’ve spent the past few days in a haze, constantly replaying the night at the club in your head, each time you remember what was said you feel a shot through your chest, negative emotions overtaking you.

tonight you’re having a night in, blanket wrapped around your shoulders on the sofa as you try to distract yourself with one of your favourite films. it doesn’t do much to help though, because it doesn’t take long for memories of max to come flooding in; it was his favourite movie too.

you end up barely paying attention, the tv merely acting as a background light. the sounds of rain battering against the window only adds to the melancholy atmosphere.

you realised you were gaining nothing from this, so you’re about to give up on the film when a sudden knock at the door pulls you from your thoughts. with furrowed brows you glance over to the clock, which lets you know it’s just past eleven. you debate in your mind if it’s worth even answering— who knocks on someone’s door at this time of night?

but against your better judgement, you hesitantly make your way to the front door. your heart is pounding, anxiety running through your body as your hand shakily reaches for the handle. looking around, you realise you have nothing to protect yourself with, should this be a scary encounter.

you were ready to be met with horrors at the other side of the door, but you weren’t expecting to be met with the sight of a soaked max verstappen. he’s drenched, his hair plastered to his forehead from the rain, and his clothes sticking to him uncomfortably. despite his disheveled appearance, there’s a mix of determination and regret in his eyes.

you hadn’t even noticed the bunch of flowers he was holding until he shuffled them in his hands, and only then did they catch your eye. your eyes widened in shock, seeing that he had bought you your favourite flowers. “i know they’re a little.. worse for wear,” he awkwardly coughed out, holding them out for you.

you took them from his grasp, muttering a thank you as you held them to your chest. your eyes fitted over max again, watching as he anxiously moved from balancing his weight on one foot to another.

for a moment, neither of you speaks another word. the silence is thick, and there’s words on the tip of both your tongues, but you don’t dare speak first, and it seems like he doesn’t either.

the intensity of his gaze is what’s keeping you grounded, not letting your thoughts get the better of you. you can’t seem to break eye contact with him, and it seems like an eternity before your body finally moves; and you signal for him to come inside as you step to the side.

max nods at you, taking one step inside before he turns his head turns to look at you. his presence is overwhelming, your back against the wall as you continue to stare up at him. you gulp at the proximity, letting out a shaky breath before you tell him to head into the living room.

your words break him out of whatever trance he was in, and he lets out a low hum as he follows your instructions. you close the front door as he walks away, letting out a deep sigh before turning around, walking into the living room as you try to calm your nerves down.

you’re stood at the doorframe of the living room, leaning against it as you wait for him to take a seat on the sofa. but it never happens, max simply doing a 180 to face you. the tension is palpable, the air thick with unresolved emotions.

it’s silent for a few moments before max is the first one to speak up. “i’m sorry,” is all he manages to get out, his voice low yet hoarse. it’s only now that he’s inside and out of the rain you can actually see it— he’s been crying. it the hoarse voice wasn’t a giveaway, his eyes were red and his cheeks were flushed— and it was obvious it wasn’t just raindrops rolling down his cheeks.

you sigh, shaking your head at him. “max, you don’t need to apologise, it’s my fault we’re in this mess,” you told him, eyes trained on the wooden flooring beneath your feet. swallowing hard, you felt tears stinging at the back of your eyes as you let out a shaky breath. a sad smile paints itself upon your lips as you finally meet eye contact with him again. “you don’t have to feel the same way, max. i shouldn’t have said anything about my feelings that night, especially when i was far from sober.”

max’s eyes widen in surprise, your response far different from what he was expecting. it takes a couple of moments before his brain finally connects the dots; that you’re under the impression he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. panic flashes across his features as he quickly shakes his head at you. “no, no, that’s not what i meant,” he begins to explain himself, stepping closer to where you are in the doorframe. “i didn’t come to tell you that i don’t love you.”

your gaze is casted upon the floor again, not having it in yourself to look at him. your heart aches as you try to keep your composure, “max, really— it’s fine,” you insist, despite the tremble in your voice. “i don’t need you to reassure me you love me in a different way, i know it’s platonic.” you tell him, eyes closing when you see his feet fall into your eyesight.

max feels a wave of desperation wash over him as he hears how hurt you are, the defeat evident in your voice. he reaches out, gently grabbing onto your forearm as he pulls at it, uncrossing your folded arms. he gives your arm a squeeze and instinctively you look up at him. you can see the distress in his eyes, his confidence he has every other day is non-existent at this moment in time.

you go to take your arm back, but max’s grip is firm, a contrast to the soft “stop” he let’s out in return. the desperation in his voice captivates you, and you find yourself listening to him, and what he has to say.

just a moment ago you could see the distress in his eyes, but now— now, they were clouded with too many emotions to read, especially in your current state. the seconds feel like hours, the silence between you both almost suffocating. you want to stand your ground, tell him to let you go, let him know he doesn’t need to say what you already know— but the words are stuck in your throat, tangled with the fear you’re feeling.

max opens his mouth before shutting it again, his jaw clenched as he tries to make sense of his thoughts and he wants to say. “i… i need you to listen to me,” he finally says, his own voice trembling. he lets go of your arm, and instead of stepping back, he takes another step closer to you, his eyes never leaving yours.

your heart races as you look up at him, the space between you both slowly becoming non-existent, aswell as the fierce eye contact felt like it was going to kill you. “max.. if you’re going to say you don’t feel the same, you don’t have to—“

“that’s not it!” he lets out desperately, shaking his head sharply as he interrupts you. he runs a hand through his damp hair, his frustration evident. he’s never been the best with his words, never the type to open up to you about feelings such as infatuation or love, his emotions were always a touchy topic. you can tell he’s wrestling with his thoughts, trying to get the truth out to you.

“i was scared,” he admits, his voice rough with emotion. “i’ve been scared of messing this up, of losing you, and that fear—“ he stops himself for a moment, inhaling deeply and tries to gather himself. “that fear made me push you away, and i shut myself off. and i regret it, i regret it so much, because it gave off the impression i didn’t care, or that i didn’t feel the same.”

your breath hitches, your heart rate quickening as you process what he just told you. the pounding in your ears from your heartbeat was almost too much to bare, but you pushed through because you needed to know what he was going to say. “then why..?” you trail off shakily, allowing max to explain himself.

max met your gaze again, and this time the emotions in his eyes were clear and unmistakable, and it caused a deep warmth to heat up your cheeks. “because i do love you,” he confesses so quietly, you wondered if you made it up until you continues to talk, “and that terrified me. it still does to an extent. but the thought of losing you is so much worse.”

your breath catches in your throat as you take in everything he said, allowing max’s words to sink in. you’ve spent so long hoping and dreaming for this moment, in so many different scenarios— but never did you imagine this specific one.

“i love you,” he repeats, his voice still quiet, scared as if the words are going to do more damage than he had caused previously.

you know you heard him right when he repeated it, and it didn’t do anything to slower your heartbeat, rather it made it pound even harder. without thinking, you move a little closer, your hand reaching up to cup his cheek, searching for the tiniest bit of proof to help you realise this is all real, and not some sick dream. his skin is warm beneath your touch, and that simple feeling sends a rush through your veins.

“max,” you whisper, his name slipping from your lips like a prayer, like a question, like a thousand emotions wrapped up in one word.

max doesn’t wait any longer. in one swift motion, he closes the distance between you, his hands finding your waist and pulling you against him. there’s a brief moment where both of you hesitate, breath mingling in the tiny space between you, eyes locked onto one another for confirmation.

then, with a soft, almost desperate sound, his lips crash onto yours. the kiss is everything, months of pent-up emotion, of hope, longing and — especially the past few nights — fear, all rolled into one. it’s messy, passionate and perfect in its on way. his hands don’t stop moving, going from gripping your waist, tangling in your hair to then cradling your face, like he’s afraid you might disappear once his touch leaves you.

you kiss him back just as fiercely, pouring everything you’ve felt— every ounce of love, every moment of doubt, every fear of rejection— into that kiss. the world around you fades; the only thing that exists at this very moment is max. the feeling of him, the taste of him and the overwhelming relief of finally, finally having him close.

you finally pull apart from one another, gasping for air as your foreheads rest against each other, the both of you breathing heavily. his hands move back to their position on your waist, thumbs circling your sides as if he’s trying to ground himself in the moment.

“god, i’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he murmurs, breath hot against your lips.

a small smile tugs at your lips as you nod against him, your voice still shaky, “me too,” you admit, just as breathless.

for a moment neither of you say anything else. you just stand there, holding each other, basking in the warmth of the moment. it’s not the picture perfect confession you’d imagined, but it’s real, and that’s all that mattered.

max finally pulls back, just enough to look into your eyes. “i’m sorry,” he whispers softly, his hand moving to your cheek as his thumb strokes it. “for everything. especially for how i acted at the club.”

you shake your head, your heart swelling with many emotions— love, relief and forgiveness, to name a few. “it’s okay,” you mutter back breathlessly, leaning to place a soft kiss against his lips, sealing your words with the simple act. “we’ll figure stuff out, and we’ll work on it.”

and with that, the night ends not with the bitter taste of regret, but with sweet promise of something new, something real and something worth fighting for.

✘ WIP DIARY ── LAST NIGHT, I READ YOUR DIARY. (p.sh) ✘

Sunghoon has been trying be everything you need since your mother passed. A father, a friend, a therapist. You never really understood what your mother saw in him in the first place, if you’re being honest. He’s awkward, quiet, and typically used to keep to himself up until now. You’re impressed with his efforts by the time you’re entering into your senior year of college, though his entire demeanor towards you seems to have changed.  or the one where your step-father grows obsessed with you minute by minute. 

── step-dad /weirdo park sunghoon x afab reader  

── minors dni

── tags: sunghoon is in his 30s, reader is in her 20s so, age gap, step-cest, heartbreak, obsession, manipulation, coercion, stockholm syndrome-ish, fluff if he manipulates you as a reader lmfao, angst, smut. don't read this if you are easily triggered. ── side characters: heeseung as reader's ex boyfriend, jay as reader's closest friend

── !WARNINGS!: this work contains non-con, dub-con, and stalking behavior. your mom isn’t alive in this fic. warnings will be updated as i write.

── a/n: this one is gonna be a wild ride, that's all i gotta say.

LAST UPDATED: 12.22.24

⨯ est wordcount: 20k+ ⨯ current wordcount: 5.4k ⨯ est release date: tbd ⨯ taglist: ask to be on my perma tag list!

playlist ⨯ recommended song: last night i read your diary - gürl She's got me down on my knees I beg, I beg, I, I beg, I beg, please! I want it more than I need And I need it like I need to breathe Like I'm losing my- Choke.

PREVIEW (3.1k):

no warnings apply to the preview, it's just the first couple of thousand words for this fic. aka, the intro and the set up for what will inevitably happen later:

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Your first heartbreak is meant to be painful, but this? This is more painful than you could have ever imagined. 

Heeseung was one of your only constants in life. From childhood to high school it’s like he was there more than your own mother was, and certainly more than your own father. Even when she passed, Heeseung was the one who held you through it, he’s the one who made you smile again, he’s the one who made you feel like it was okay to heal and keep going. 

It’s the fact that it was a mutual break up that hurts the most because deep down, you couldn’t see yourself without him. Yet, still, you willingly watched him hop on the plane with a short kiss and long goodbye. It felt so final to you. You could have handled a long distance relationship, truly. But Heeseung didn’t want that. He wanted to explore the world, he wanted to try new things, be with new people. 

Do things without you clinging to him all the time. 

In a way, you understand that. After all, you’re the only girl he had ever been with up until now. Senior year of college. You think you knew your relationship was coming to an end by the time he announced he was going to be studying abroad for his final year without ever once even telling you he was applying to do so. 

So, yeah, it was mutual solely because you want him to be happy and he’s made it clear that he believes that can only happen without you. Such is life. Painful, painful fucking life.  

Just last year when your mother passed, you nearly dropped out and Heeseung had been your rock to make it through class after class with a grade barely high enough to pass. You’re certain some of your professors took pity on you and raised your grade just enough to move forward. You’ll forever thank them for recognizing how hard you were trying. But now? Without your mother, without Heeseung, you’re at a loss.

And there’s a difference between loneliness and isolation, you think. Loneliness to you always hits hard during small spaces in your day, like when you’d get into Heeseung’s car and he would close your door for you. The silence always hurt your ears while he was still making his way around the car to the driver’s seat. A shallow loneliness that you could feel right at the top of your gut, like it was squeezing inside of you and making you lose your appetite. Solely because that silence reminded you of what you always had, a lack of loneliness because of him.

But then there’s isolation. Where it feels forced upon you by other people. Your mother fucking died, Heeseung fucking left, and now you’re just here expected to wake up like you always do, go to class, study hard, sleep well, when the reality of it is– you’re genuinely struggling just to look at yourself in the mirror. 

Then there’s Sunghoon. The only person close enough to you now that you can reach out to. The issue with that is– you’ve never actually been close. And that’s what sucks. The fact that he of all people is all you have now? May as well just assume you have nobody.

His regular calls mean close to nothing to you in the grand scheme of things. Despite him calling twice a week every week since your mother died, your step-father is just as distanced from you as you are him. You’re aware that it’s his obligation, not because he cares. And that hurts, because it’s all you have now. 

Now, you have to try and find meaning in those short calls. After all, Sunghoon fell apart when your mother passed all on his own and you had only called him out of obligation too. You were already in college and stressed, falling apart yourself with someone to love beside you helping you through it. Calling him when it all happened felt empty because you knew both of you were trying to hold it together and save face. 

It wasn’t like this before she died. In fact, he never called and you never cared for him to. You’d see each other when you were home, share awkward pleasantries, and that’s it. It’s hard to believe that now you feel like you need a father, after all those years of practically rejecting him as one. He seemed fine with that after you hit your teen years. He knew by then that he could never be the father you want, but at least he could be the husband your mother needed.

You have grief in common now though. Loneliness. Isolation.

You try not to think about how you were okay up until now though. Having Heeseung to fall back on to soften the blow of your loss, you guess Sunghoon didn’t have that. Maybe his monotone voice and empty words were his way of coping, his way of hearing a voice that wasn’t the one in his own head when he calls you. 

It’s just you and a man you never considered family past the titles and obligatory respects. Finding meaning in his short phone calls does nothing to help your growing isolation, but you cling to them now that Heeseung is gone. You wait for the calls, you ask him to check in with you every day now, to the point Sunghoon starts to notice the difference in you.

No longer rushing to get off the phone. Now, you’re dragging on meaningless conversations. Now, he hears cracks in your voice. 

“You feeling okay?” Sunghoon asks you, in a way that makes you wonder how he’s able to tell that you’re definitely not. The way his own voice has a bit of life to it when he asks it…strange too. Like he’s concerned. 

“No–” You trail off in your meek voice, staring at your ceiling and mind swirling with all of the work you need to get done for classes already. “I’ve only been in classes for a week and I already feel like I’m drowning.” 

Sunghoon sighs into the speaker, contemplating how to further the conversation with you in a way that isn’t too intrusive. After all, who is he to pry? Still, he never intended for you to feel neglected or like you couldn’t come to him. After all, you were too happy about his lack of parenting you throughout his presence in your life. 

He finds solace in the fact that you’ve been accepting him now, though he hasn’t the slightest idea as to why. He’s checked in with you since the passing, but lately it feels to him like something more is going on with you. He may be somewhat estranged, and he may have his own problems to deal with, but you’re still someone he needs to be here for.

Plus, it makes him feel needed again, which is nice considering the circumstances. After living in this bustling house with you and your mom for so long, to it just being him and your mom, to now just him…all that remains now is dread, dissociation, and unwashed dishes in the sink.

“Did something happen?” Sunghoon keeps his questions short, offering more silence if anything for you to use this call as a therapy session if you need. 

You pause for a long moment, realizing that you want to talk about your issues so badly but don’t quite feel the need to share it with him of all people. You’ve already ranted day after day to Jay. To the point you’re sure he’s about one rant away from blocking your number. 

Probably because you’re not that close to him either. Not these days, anyway.

You sigh instead. 

“No…” You trail off. “I think I just miss being home. My dorm mate is never here, class work is already piling up, and I can’t even find the energy to look at the assignments.” 

Sunghoon can tell you’re feeling much like he does and he can’t imagine the weight on your shoulders dealing with these feelings while also in college. But, you have Heeseung, do you not? You’ve been fine for the most part until now, and you haven’t even brought him up. Not once in the past few weeks has his name been uttered by you. Which is strange, after all, the two of you were practically attached at the hip growing up, to the point of choosing the same college, working the same jobs, and even keeping that middle-school puppy love in full swing throughout highschool and college. 

If anything, after your mother passed, Sunghoon felt okay knowing you had Heeseung there with you to help you through it. It meant he could focus on himself and getting through the day-to-day. He could barely handle his own mournful thoughts, let alone the daughter’s feelings of the woman he loved so dearly. He was forever grateful for Heeseung during this time. 

He has his suspicions now though, and his heart aches for the voice he hears from you these days. 

“Why don’t you come home for a while?” He lends a pause to see if you’ll jump for the opportunity before selling the idea to you. “I have the bills here covered and your campus is only a forty minute drive. I’m sure that’s inconvenient but you won’t have bills to worry about on top of everything else.” He doesn’t want to sound too desperate, of course. 

After all, the loneliness he’s feeling is also becoming unbearable. Even if the two of you never were able to see eye to eye, or to form a bond together, you’re all he has left of your mother. He, arguably, is nothing to you, but there’s no one else in this world he’d rather heal the loneliness with outside of you. Only because you knew your mother on a level deeper than he did, and to have someone to share those memories with, or even laugh with, would help him tremendously too.

“I think being at home may do you some good.” 

You think it over in your head, wondering if being home will help you at all. In reality, you know it may make you feel more trapped than you do now. All those memories with your mother, with Heeseung, with all of your friends that have since moved to different colleges. 

But…you wouldn’t be alone. You’d be with someone who knows how to give you space because he’s never even tried to shrink your existence to that of your bedroom and your bedroom alone. You wouldn’t have to worry about rent, food, or anything aside from studies, gas money, and trying to heal from your heartbreak. 

Your dorm is small, you note as you look around the room and wonder how long it would take you to pack your things up. Two hours, give or take. The longest part would be taking all of the little decorations off the wall, if you’re being honest. 

You find yourself nodding before answering, solidifying in your mind that– maybe you’re not the only one who needs company in your space. Not too close, but close enough to not be totally isolated. 

“Okay.” You mutter into the phone, for some reason feeling the tears well up behind your eyes. 

You’re just a bit overwhelmed, that’s all. Knowing you’re going home feels like a relief you didn’t know you needed. 

“Yeah?” Sunghoon confirms. “Just let me know when and I’ll drive up there to help get your stuff back home.” 

You agree, sighing into the phone with a shaking voice. Sunghoon takes note of it, always remembering and quite frankly missing how loud and obnoxious you used to be. Hearing you like this pains him. He wants to help. Now more than ever is his chance to be someone you need, and he hates knowing he feels happy about it. 

Getting to be your father now? It feels awkward, but at least it’s a feeling other than loss. 

“You know you can talk to me, right?” Sunghoon sighs at you through the speaker. “I know I’m not someone you like coming to but–well, I’d like for you to rely on me more, okay?” 

You find a lot of comfort in those words, despite hearing him say them time and time again. This is the first time he’s ever shown that he means it through the offer of bringing you home, rather than just saying it and accepting whatever you say back to him at face value. 

“I know…” You trail off. “I’m okay though, really.” 

Sunghoon hates himself for never forcing you to accept him. Sure, there may have been some teenage defiance towards him, but eventually the two of you could have seen eye to eye. He could have been someone you needed. You could have relied on him too, rather than just Heeseung. That’s all he can really think right now. 

“Are you sure there’s nothing else going on?” The man nearly pleads in his tone, desperate to have someone rely on him again. “I’ve never heard you sound so exhausted before, I can’t help but worry.”

You’d tell him, but honestly, what grown ass man wants to hear about a first heartbreak? It would just get awkward again, he’d just feel obligated to do something about it, and worse, he might end up feeling like he’s supposed to dislike Heeseung now. 

You choose to remain silent in the final straw that broke your back this semester. 

“Really, I’m just tired.” You nod to yourself as you hold your phone loosely against your ear. “I might not go to class tomorrow and just pack instead. I’ll just call you when I’m ready, is that okay?”

Sunghoon smiles to himself, wanting to mean something to you in a way that can hopefully help you out of this slump. Your mother would be throwing a fit if she heard how you’ve been sounding, he can’t help but take over that role and try to make damn sure you are okay. 

“That’s fine,” Sunghoon confirms. “I’ll call and let them know what’s going on so don’t worry about any of that. Just get yourself ready to come back home.” 

You find yourself smiling, relieved that you don’t have to be the one to contact your school and tell them that…well, you’re breaking your student-lease, dropping your food plan, and need to be reimbursed for partial tuition costs since Sunghoon insists every semester that you purchase tuition insurance. You should no longer be charged to live on campus, or for the facilities within the dorm. 

Knowing you’ll at least get back a couple thousand dollars is a nice change of pace, and already you’re feeling weirdly excited to go back to a space that will likely make you miss your mother more. It’ll hurt, but at least you won’t be alone anymore. 

The forty minute drive to campus feels less horrifying now, and maybe your friends will still come and hang out with you in your actual home rather than a tiny dorm. 

“Sounds good.” You say, as if to end the call before you mutter out again. “Thank you, by the way. Sunghoon, really.” 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Sunghoon knew he was spiraling further and further into his loneliness. He knew it wasn’t healthy either, but now. Oh, now he realizes just how bad it’s gotten as he demonizes himself upon picking you up. 

You haven’t come home since your mother’s funeral, and even on that day he barely remembers what you looked like. Eye contact was never a thing for him, but looking at you now, he sees how much you’ve matured since you went off to college. 

Your once bright, excited eyes have turned dull and empty. The bags under them are heavy from lack of sleep. Your lips appear to be in a permanent state of pouting, though he isn’t sure if you’ve noticed. You appear to have lost weight, which is concerning for him of course, but…there’s something else about you.

Something that sits in the pit of his stomach and rots.

“Uh–” You cough, noting the way Sunghoon looks at you as you try to hand him a large box. “Thank you for helping me move my stuff back…” 

Sunghoon snaps out of his thoughts, grabbing a heavy box and then waiting for you to stack another on top. 

“No big deal,” He mutters, feeling the weight in his hands double as he prepares to carefully carry your things out to his car. “You haven’t come home in over a year, but I’ve fixed up your room for you and went ahead and connected my gaming system in there.”

You nod quietly, feeling awkward for how fatherly he seems.

“Thanks…” You trail off, flopping a pile of your things into his trunk before stopping to look at him. “You look like shit.”

Sunghoon furrows his brows, noticing for a split second how that facial expression you made is very similar to one his wife used to throw at him when he’d have hair out of place, or a wardrobe malfunction. And then he smiles. 

“You’re not looking too good yourself.” He jokes back.

You smile back at him, feeling a bit of the awkward air fizzle away. 

“Well, I’m not doing well, so.” 

You were continuing the joke, but his face falls before yours does. 

“You can talk to me–” He starts.

“I know, I know.” You wave him off. “I’ll feel a lot better once we get back and I can settle in.

There’s a nod from him now, and then silence as the two of you continue to put the rest of your belongings into both his car and your own. 

“Well, I guess I’ll see you in a bit?” You say now, awkwardly.

Sunghoon nods, looking you over once again.

“See you in a bit.” 

   ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Shame.

Pure fucking shame. 

Sunghoon knew he needed another presence in this house but upon seeing you again, he knew it may have been a mistake. 

He likes to think of himself as level headed. He’s never gotten into any trouble, never had a stray thought, never cheated, lied, or stole anything. He can’t think of a single thing that he’s done in life to be considered taboo.  But looking at you feels…incorrect?

Indecent? 

You’re his step-daughter for fuck sake but it’s the fact that you don’t feel like you are. When he looks at you, he just sees another person. He did this to help you, he did this to feel needed, to be your fucking father. 

He did not do this to look at you this way or to feel his eye stray even without his intention.

Why do you look so much like her? Why do you do that thing with your pinky when you carry things like she did? You even have a similar smell, probably having picked up on your mother’s habits throughout childhood. 

You being here…It’s like she’s still here. Except it’s you, and he can’t be thinking this way. 

 ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

This fic will be dark, very taboo, morally bad. Not a grey area, it is blatantly bad. sunghoon will do bad things. Please be aware of your own triggers once it's completed and posted. remember that I write within my own triggers, not yours. That being said! Please do show lots of love if this is a fic you're interested in reading! If you want to be tagged, I have a permanent tag list, there are not any separate tag lists for individual fics so keep that in mind.  ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

it's as the prophecy foretold... two trucks, having sex

GOOD LUCK, BABE!

pairings: charles leclerc x reader (romantic/platonic).

summary: friendships don’t always survive, you and charles would know.

warnings: cheating towards the end. no smut but a makeout session. sorry alex 💔

author’s note: the brocedes au that me and anon wanted. i’m trying something new btw. let me know how u feel about it.

────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ──────

────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ──────

you never imagined yourself in the same room as charles. not willingly anyways. yet, when you received the invitation with his handwritten note asking you to come. you knew you couldn’t say no. you had spent so much of your childhood discussing the future. he wanted a family. three kids, a dog and a gorgeous wife that loved him. you wanted a career. the glory, the accolades and the fans that loved you.

he made you promise one day that you’d be at his wedding. you were fifteen at the ice cream shop that he’d always drag you too. you had snuck out without arthur in order to have an extra scoop after charles’ dad had paid for the ice cream you’d had earlier. he looked over at you, eyes serious and asked you to be his best man — (“best woman, best girl. it doesn’t matter. i just want you next to me. i’m serious yn.” he took a lick of his ice cream and the seriousness melted away when he left a smudge on his nose.)

you didn’t break promises easily.

────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ──────

────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ──────

however, when arthur came running up to you, asking you to follow him. when your relationship with charles disintegrated, you never lost touch with arthur. he was like a little brother to you. you would very rarely meet him for brunch in whatever city you happened to both be in. so when he asked you to follow him, you did willingly.

“where are we going?” you ask, as he pulls you along by your right hand. “usually, whenever you don’t give me context it means you’re doing something bad. is this something bad leclerc?”

“when am i ever doing something bad?” he looks over his shoulder and gives you a wink. you roll your eyes. he plants you in front of a room and nods at it. you stare at him blankly.

“okay? i’m not a mind reader arthur.”

“i need you to help me look for something.” he nods at the room. “in there.”

“you can do it yourself.” you turn to leave before he runs in front of you and stops you.

“listen. i don’t care if you had that weird breakup with my brother,” you start to protest that it wasn’t a breakup but he stops you. “but you didn’t need to cut me off too. you were a part of my life too. you abandoned me too.”

“i don’t ask you for anything yn but i need your help. i’m looking for my silver cufflinks. i need them.” he raised his cuffs to show you the distinct lack of cufflinks. “please. i’m begging you. i wouldn’t ask otherwise.”

you didn’t expect to come here to be blackmailed and guilt tripped but it was working. you avoided everything leclerc. even his family, especially his family if you were being honest. they went from being your second family to nothing at all.

“okay.” you nod. “i’ll get your cufflinks.”

arthur smiles and opens the door for you to walk in. it’s someone’s hotel room. either arthur’s or a friend’s. it’s messy and you sigh. it’ll be hard finding them in this mess but you start carding through clothes.

“yn?”

you know that voice anywhere. you turn around and it’s charles. he’s half dressed in his wedding suit, his crisp white shirt half unbuttoned. his hair is still messy as if he’s ran his hand through nervously multiple times. you smile with no teeth and move to open the door. it’s locked.

“arthur leclerc! open this fucking door!” you seethe. you bang against the door and hear his voice through the material.

“not until you fucking talk! i’ll be back in half an hour.” you hear his footsteps walk away. you turn to charles who smiles sheepishly at you.

“tea?”

────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ──────

liked by messyass1, messyass2 and 1,737,883 others.

ham1ltonshaderoom: it seems all the rumours are true. sworn enemies f1 drivers charles leclerc and yn yln have seemed to call a truce to celebrate his wedding to art historian alexandra saint mleux. she was seen wearing a dark green vivienne westwood gown as she celebrated the couple’s nuptials.

what do we think about the rekindling of this flame, ham1ltons?

view all 679,498 comments

user1: CHARLESYN IN THE SAME ROOM NO ARGUING NO FIGHTS WE CHEERED!!

user2: i wish we had pictures of her. she always eats her outfits.

-> user3: wtf how does she digest them?

-> user2: figure of speech babe <3

user4: did she have a date??

-> user5: her longtime boyfriend!!

user6: they worked it out on the remix

-> user7: so FERRARI ❤️

────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ──────

charles makes you the tea. he doesn’t finish buttoning his shirt as he pours it into a mug for you. he remembered how you liked it - two sugars and a splash of milk. you stay silent but nod gratefully.

it’s been so long since you’ve been alone with him. you’re not the same wide eyed kid but neither is he. he’s getting married and you’re giving him the silent treatment. he sits on the edge of his bed awkwardly. tapping his thigh with a single finger.

“thank you for coming,” he says. “i didn’t think you would.”

“the handwritten invitation was a nice choice,” you sip your tea. “personal. did everyone else like it?”

“only yours was,” he coughs into his elbow. “handwritten, i mean. only yours.”

that’s news to you but you don’t have time to ponder what that means before he speaks again.

“i’ve thought for the longest time on what i’d say to you if i got the chance. everything. how sorry i was, how sorry i am, how much i hated you and how much you meant to me. you were my best friend yn. my best friend. no one has even come close to what you were for me.” he chuckles as he presses his palms into his eyes. “who else could i talk to besides you?”

────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ──────

(insert a tiktok edit of the two of you throughout your careers. the song playing over it is the song ‘chemtrails over the country club’ by lana del ray specifically the lyrics ‘nobody’s son/nobody’s daughter’. it gets 167k likes.)

────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ──────

“do you still hate me?” charles looks at you under his lashes.

“of course i do. you hurt me.”

“you hurt me. but i don’t hate you.” charles fidgets in his seat. he stretches his hands to place them on his knees. you sip your tea. “do you remember when i asked you to be my best woman?”

you nod.

“i didn’t mean that. i wanted you to be my wife.”

you would choke on your tea if you didn’t know that information but charles wasn’t subtle. yet it was a case of missed opportunities. you didn’t like him then and he didn’t like you now.

“i couldn’t hate you yn. god knows i tried. it hurts me knowing that you hate me as i could never hate you. i said all that shit because i was hurt and angry. you said i was a shitty driver. that i wouldn’t have won without ferrari’s strategies which we both know are shit-“

“i’m sorry, i didn’t know you still cared about my opinion.” you interrupt. your voice still has a defensive edge to it. he just shrugs.

“i’ll always care about your opinion.”

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CHARLESYNNIES TWITTER GC (est.2017)

user1: editing yn to l’amour de ma vie by billie eilish (extended version) rn 😋

user2: what part?

user1: listen from 2:15 till 2:56!!

user3: THATS GONNA EATT OMGGGG

user4: wish we could edit the wedding appearance of the two of them omggg.

user5: when i get off my lazy ass and finish my edit of them to ‘the girl so confusing’ remix

user6: do y’all think they’re talking at the wedding?

user7: babe do you know yn? she’s probably at the very corner of the reception right now. she’ll take a pic with every other leclerc besides charles and probably leave before dinner is served.

user8: you’re so real. yn would NEVER talk to charles let alone be alone with him. i hate it but it’s the truth.

user9: plus charles is probably busy with the wedding.

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you never considered yourself to be a bad person but making out with your ex best friend/teammate literally a few hours before he’s about to get married? that’s a bitch move.

you try to think about his fiancée. she’s probably getting ready excitedly with her family and friends. thinking about being the future mrs leclerc while you’re two minutes away from committing adultery on both of your partners.

you pull apart from charles. he looks at you with wide eyes.

“we can’t fucking do this. we’re awful people,” you sit up. “my fucking lipgloss is all over your mouth.”

“i look good in pink. it’ll be fine.” he wipes it off.

“you have a fiancée. you’re getting married.”

“tell me the word and i’ll call it off. just for you.” he looks at you. “i’m quitting f1 after this year anyways. i’m not attempting to go for the second championship. i don’t want it.”

“how do you not want it?”

“we have different priorities but i won’t be a f1 driver anymore. you always said you couldn’t date a driver. i’ve grown now. i’m fine being in your shadow. i love it. i want it.”

he looks at you as serious as he did when he asked you to be his best woman all those years ago.

“what do you want yn?”

you bite your lip, and think.

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CHARLESYNNIES TWITTER GC (est.2017)

user7: i’m hoping we get at least a picture. just one.

user4: i would DIE!!! imagine!!!

user3: charlesynnies suffer every day and everyone else wins.

user2: i think yn is right there with charles. maybe dancing.

user1: he always said she’d be at his wedding. he was right. i think there is still love there.

user5: FINISHED MY FUCK ASS EDIT PLEASE LIKE AND COMMENT ON TIKTOK BESTIES

user6: okay i wrote a little fic for ao3. it’s called ‘wait until you like me again’!! it’s domestic charlesyn as they are forced to work everything out. kinda angsty but really smutty.

user1: spamming u both charlesynnies are the best idc <3

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charles_leclerc: say hello to mr and mrs leclerc 💍

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yourusername: happy for you 💕

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INTERVIEW WITH CHARLES LECLERC

interviewer — so is it true? you’re renewing your ferrari contract?

charles (laughing) — it is true. racing is my life. this is it for me. it’d take something big to take me away from it.

interviewer: you all heard it here first!

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— all works taglist: @luvsforme @yelenasloverrrrr @donttouchthegnote @chelle1306 @bloodyymaryy @aliciaablueprint @lennnooshh @km-23mr @stinkyjax @f1kenzzz @ctrlyomomma @theblueblub @marshmummy @23victoria @ourlifeforchaos @namgification @tallrock35 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @ariellovelynn @shhhchriss @lifeless-firefly @xylinasdiary @evie-119 @itseightbeats @tsireyasgf @landososcar @yongi-lee @maxlarens @velentine @m1892 @blushmimi @evans-dejong @nixisracing @lethalvenus @santanasaintmendes @idontknowlmaoo @sainzluvrr (charles specific tags will be added to the comments!)

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