ㄴ CHERRY🍒 ㄱ : Lee Heeseung

short almost drabble like fic where jake dated you because of a bet (you find out). bet fics are my guilty pleasure.

but i’m thinking it’s more of just your reaction? like it shows the emotions you go through after finding out

if you decide to write it, thank you🤭

✈︎ the perfect picture

pairing : bf!jake x fem!reader

warnings + genre : angst. crying.

wc : 1.1k

a/n : I LOVE BET FICS SM BCUZ THEY HURT SO GOOD OMFG + plsss lmk how i did!

Jake’s love painted the perfect picture, the canvas splaying out in a precise manner. The midnight giggles and morning delicacies were nothing more than a distraction, a part Jake played a little too well.

You were blindsided by everything else around you, unable to escape your 2d world. The walls of your heart were crafted by the lies that Jake had sewn into your skin since early on, the needle beginning its stitch the second his eyes met yours.

The gallons of paint were now splattered across the sky, Jake's canvas cracking as the black seeped in through the sections where he forgot to blend.

The audio recording sounded out across your stale room, all air stuck in your lungs as you held your breath, heartbeat behind your eyes as the tears welled.

“LN YN? It’s like you're asking for me to lose before I even begin.” The voice so clearly belonged to your boyfriend, his recognizable shocked tone sounding extra sharp.

“So you’re giving up? It’s not my fault they’ve never noticed you before.” Park Sunghoon, the man who always supported that boyish smile, and your boyfriend's best friend.

“I think they’re a good choice, allows more room for fun” Park Jongseong, the captain of the rugby team, again, your boyfriend's best friend.

“What do I get if I win?”

“Easy. You get this” Even if you couldn’t physically see this scene, you knew very well what Park Sunghoon was shaking in his hands. The bills slapping together as he shook them.

“Deal, prepare to hand it over.” The sound of their hands meeting was your tipping point, vision blurring as the tears fell.

The constricted air in your lungs shot out with your first exhale, chest burning as the weight of your boyfriend's betrayal lay heavy.

The next minutes were a blur of tears and blinding lights, your packed bags landing beside your feet as you hurriedly pulled on your shoes. Your phone buzzing to life in your pocket, messages coming in back to back.

You tried ignoring it, the thought of seeing your boyfriend's contact on your screen creating an overwhelming nauseous feeling.

It wasn’t until you heard a specific ringtone that you decided to fish your phone from your pocket, the loud voice of Sunghoon ringing too loudly across Jake’s apartment.

After hanging out with Jake’s friends a few times you managed to get extremely close to them, Sunghoon in specific. It was easy to get along with him, easy to drown within his sweet aura.

After class one day you accidentally stumbled into him, his attempts to hide his swollen eye coming up unsuccessful. You remembered that day, the day you found out about his fights.

It was as if that evening opened a door to your relationship, Sunghoon attaching himself to your hip.

One day all the boys decided to prank you, changing your ringtones to ones personalized by them. Sunghoon’s voice through his own ringtone has never felt so daunting, you’ve never hated him more.

Your eyes lazily read across his newest message, ignoring the other twenty-seven he’d sent within the last two minutes.

hoon

I’m so sorry, I promise we called off the bet after meeting you please don’t do anything you’ll regret. Jake’s on his way back, please hear him out

Without another thought you pressed his notification, the delivered alert changing to seen straight away. It seemed that Sunghoon was already typing again, bubbles popping up right away.

You ignored him once again, leaving his chat to open Jake’s. There was only one message from him, one sent by him hours ago, right after he left to Jay’s house.

“Never talk to me again” you whispered as your fingers pressed each letter, shakily pressing each letter before pressing send. As soon as the message went through you tossed your phone onto the table beside Jake’s door.

Of course, in hindsight, it was foolish to get rid of your phone, but there’s no way you could continue using it knowing all the memories stored in it.

What you didn’t know, was that when you threw it you somehow opened your emails, the email that contained the audio recording.

And so you left, leaving nothing but your phone. You ignored the looks in the lobby, your favourite neighbours giving you worried looks as they saw your state.

You got into the car, carelessly throwing your bags into the backseat. You reversed out of the spot, leaving Jake without another thought.

Jake could feel the dread in his chest as he entered the lobby, the same neighbours that saw you leave in a haste not yet seeing him and they whispered amongst themselves.

“Is yn alright? She just left in a hurry, she was crying pretty bad” Jake didn’t register their words until he reached his apartment, his hands on his knees as he caught his breath.

He had figured he’d get up faster if he ran up the stairs, the elevator always took ages to get down to the lobby.

He slammed open his door, tears falling once again as he noticed that all your belongings were gone. The only sound in his apartment was his own breathing, well that’s what he thought until he saw your discarded phone.

He walked towards it, jelly knees barely holding him up as he bent down to grab your phone. He felt acid rise up his throat, eyes widening as he heard the audio coming from your phone.

He knew you had found out the moment Sunghoon looked up at Jake with glassy eyes, shaking his head as he tried to get the words out. He didn’t waste a second before running out, ignoring his friends calling for him as the apartment door slammed behind him.

He was too late, he missed you by mere seconds. He didn’t have the chance to talk to you, to explain himself. This wasn’t how he wanted you to find out, he was planning countless ways that he would tell you.

That bet was Jake Sim’s biggest regret, but it wasn’t a mistake. Even if he was given the chance to go back and stop himself from accepting the bet, he would never do it. The time he spent with you was his favourite, you became his favourite person.

He didn’t know where he would go from here, but all he knew was that he needed to get to your apartment as soon as possible. And so he ran back down all flights of stairs, racing to his car as he sped towards you.

He didn’t know if you’d ever forgive him, but he needed to try. He loved you more than anything, even if it wasn’t genuine at first.

Jake Sim loved you, but after today you didn’t know if you believed that. If he loved you he wouldn’t have done this to you.

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ꜱᴇᴠᴇɴ

CHAPTER SEVEN - KONOHA.

WORDS - 3,366.

RATING - G+.

SUMMARY - sarada and suiren sneak out to the hokage mansion.

feedback would be appreciated!

previous chapter - chapter six.

Sarada anxiously breathed through her nose, the older twin had wondered how deep asleep their mother had to be for them to successfully sneak out of their home, verily, Sarada and Suiren had numerous of attempts when they had attempted to creep out of their home just be met with an offended pink-haired woman standing in front of the entrance.

Sarada and Suiren had briefly spoke about how today’s shift must’ve been tiresome for their mother ere they proceeded with their trip towards the Hokage Mansion. As Sarada held herself unsure the girl had yet protectively stood in front of her sister as she had guided them towards the destination.

“I think within this time we can just walk in,” Suiren muttered and as Sarada had shifted her red frames up the bridge of her nose, she had let out a shaky breath.

“I wonder why I agreed to do this,” Sarada responded and quickly, Suiren had shot her sister a look.

“Because we’re sisters, twins specficially and the Water Stone is mine,” Suiren hastily answered and surprised, the short-haired girl had stopped in her tracks and as kickback, Suiren had walked into her.

Annoyed, Suiren had stood up straight as her look had effortlessly expressed her annoyance. “The Water Stone is yours?” Sarada slowly repeated and suspicious, Sarada had fully twisted her gaze towards her sister, arms crossed, curious with her younger sister’s intentions. “I thought the Water Stone belonged to the Land of Water.”

“And I’m the amplifier,” Suiren corrected. “If the Stone wasn’t mine---I’d have no connection to it.”

Easily defeated, Sarada had dropped her shoulders. “You’re right,” and in triumph, Suiren had bounced on her feet, her hands had fell against her sister’s shoulders ere she had pushed Sarada to resume their trip towards the Hokage Mansion.

The rest of walk had been quiet, with brief speeches being thrown between the two sisters, besides the fact that the night had been eerily dark and quiet, which had normally contrasted the scene that usually bustled in Konoha, Sarada had slowly gathered the enthusiasm to get the Stone with her sister, yet it wasn’t like Sarada would turn around and leave her sister to do it on her own. As much as she did not want to do it, she was just as curious and due to that, the older twin had reticently cursed herself for being so indecisive.

Plus, Suiren had been correct, mayhap security had a meeting, but to enter the Hokage Mansion was very easy for the two girls, though, if Suiren had been truthful, Konoha had a thing where it had been too trusting of its citizens.

“What do you want the Stone for?” Sarada questioned and with her presence now beside her older sister, Suiren briefly glanced in the direction of Sarada.

“It’ll help with my powers,” Suiren truthfully responded.

“Water Powers?” Sarada figured and intrigued, she had once more twisted her arms around each other. “What about the other Stones, do you think you’ll need them?”

“There’ll be a moment where I’ll need to get those as well, I don’t understand what the outcome will be,” Suiren said, “but I know it’ll help me with something.”

Comprehensive with Suiren’s claim, Sarada had remained silent and Suiren could feel the uneasy essence breeze from her sister, awkwardly, Suiren has scratched her elbow, a clumsy grin on her face. “Wow, I’m surprised how easy it is for us to freely walk down the mansion,” Suiren mentioned, it had been at least two minutes since the girls had walked down the dimly lit corridors, Suiren had occasionally forgotten how many doors they were in the building, it had reminded the long-haired girl of being in a train speeding past houses.

“Do not jinx it,” Sarada whispered and the second Sarada’s short sentence had left her lips, a tall figure had stood in front of them, a tall man that had carried shoulder-length hair, and had worn the standard join outfit, Suiren had recognised the appearance, the man that had worn his forehead protector like a bandana, chiefly with his trademark toothpick in his mouth with that usual calm look on his face.

Genma.

He was someone who usually worked for the Hokage two seats back, their Godmother, Lady Tsunade, Suiren had thought perhaps he had wanted to work for Lord Naruto now since he was known to be a man who was always on his feet. Though, currently, his calm exterior had been replaced with a hasty scowl.

“What are you two doing here?” Genma asked and caught red-handed, the two girls froze in their spots as the looming figure of the tall being had stalked over them.

Perplexed and stuck on how to explain themselves, Sarada and Suiren had quickly exchanged looks as they reticently debriefed on how to execute their reason.

Eventually confident, Suiren stood up straight as her face twisted into a close and rapacious demeanour. “We should be allowed here since Lord Hokage is like our uncle.”

Stupefied, Genma pulled himself back as he grumbled a few incomprehensible words that lowly expressed his surprise. “I-“

“I promise if you do not get out of my way, I will cause the biggest scene!” Suiren raised, “and I don’t know if you are aware, but I’m very persuasive, Genma, I’ll find way to knock you out of the position and have you forbidden from entering this place again!”

Shocked, both Sarada and Genma lingered in surprised silence---just as Suiren had delivered a dainty toothy smile. The only noise that had articulated was the light sounds that echoed from the clacks of Suiren’s heeled boots, as she swerved right past the older man’s body and resumed her trip to where the Water Stone resided in.

Gently humoured, Sarada quickly turned her face from the man and quickly followed her sister’s footsteps, suddenly at ease on how fun the little trip from their home had become.

⋆｡‧₊°꧁ ༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻ ꧂‧₊˚.⋆

Careful, the two girls had snuck into the room the Water Stone had laid imprisoned in, the room had been dark thus Sarada had been able to observe the light flicker from the stone waved the second it had sensed Suiren’s arrival. Reticent, Sarada remained intrigued, satisfied by the beauty of the object.

“Katsuke was interested in the stone,” Suiren began, and as she had closed the door behind them, Sarada had examined the chakra box the orb had been in, and with curiosity, Sarada had raised her hand to touch the chakra box---to be responded with an effect of ripples, which had caused her hand had quickly bounce off the object.

Amazed, Sarada pressed her impacted hand against her chest. Intrigued with the security that had been placed for it, she had now turned her vision towards her sister. “How are you going to get it out?” Sarada questioned and eagerly, Suiren had walked towards the object.

“There’s so much that you don’t know that’s been going on,” Suiren muttered and interested, Sarada had resumed to listen to her sister’s ramble---as she had patiently anticipated to see what her sister would do, though, before Suiren had done anything, she had turned to look at her sister, her soft eyes now solid and stern. “Promise me Sarada, that whatever you see or hear happen will not be mentioned to anyone else.”

Hesitant with anxiety, Sarada nodded her head. “I promise, I won’t tell anyone else.”

Thus, Suiren had begun to tell Sarada her story that had included Sora. The elements of the story she had been told from Dragon Spirit had been repeated to Sarada who stared at her, eyes wide like a bulb, comprehensive of the burden her sister had currently carried.

“The Water Stone will help with my life source,” Suiren said, and just as Sarada had attempted to inquire Suiren on how she would take the Water Stone, the younger Uchiha had already raised her hand in direct level of the chakra box, eyes pierced with concentration as Suiren pushed herself to think what she had wanted to do. Thus, as reality had bent to her will, Suiren’s hand had slowly entered the chakra box without restriction.

In awe, Sarada’s eyes glistened with surprise and shock as she had observed the circumstance displayed right in front of her. The moment Suiren had fully pulled the orb out of the transparent box, the stone had laid innocently against both of her palms, and the hue and brightness of the item had zapped in luminosity.

Suiren had gasped at the wind-like feeling that had gushed passed her body and through her veins and in reaction to her contact with the stone, her hair began to slowly float along with the other objects in the room, gently, Suiren had been lifted off her feet and mildly, her body had floated in the room, Sarada’s head had shadowed Suiren’s movements and had watched how the glow of the Water Stone had mirrored in Suiren’s eyes.

Blue light had emitted in Suiren’s eyes and as kickback, the atmosphere began to shake, as impact, during the time the power of the stone had inserted inside of her; Sarada had found trouble keeping herself on her feet. The tumbling of the room had vibrated throughout the rest of the building as the ethereal episode had played through Suiren and the second the abilities had been transferred inside the girl’s body a certain blond man had entered the room, alarmed.

The girl had gently landed on her feet and in sync the stone had stopped glowing and the shaking of the building had come to a halt. Too infatuated with what happened the twins hadn’t recognised the tall being who had looked down at them with surprise---until the graceless soft cough had emitted from his mouth and quickly, their heads had snapped towards his direction.

Lord Hokage.

Who had always introduced himself as their uncle, thus in short silent speculation, the girls had wondered how in deep trouble they were in.

⋆｡‧₊°꧁ ༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻ ꧂‧₊˚.⋆

“Entering the building at night without permission, threatening a member of the Hokage Palace, and attempt theft of a vital object---I can expect this from Suiren, but Sarada?” Naruto breathed, “how can you allow your sister to do this?”

Thus, in short remorse, Sarada had anxiously gulped down her anxiety as she puzzled the words she had wanted to use. Though, what she had wanted to say had been cut from the Hokage’s continuous complaint. “And you even allowed Suiren to take the powers from the Water Stone!”

“It’s not like I can give the power back,” Suiren said.

“God---I’m going to get in a lot of trouble with your mother---”

“You can just not tell her,” Suiren suggested and in a brief pause, Naruto shared a look with the long-haired girl who returned with a smile.

Hastily, the man sat up on his seat in deep thought, if he did play along with what Suiren had suggested, there could be many ways the outcome could manifest. “You were being irresponsible with the object,” Naruto said seriously and with how stern the man had sounded there was a quick whiplash of guilt the two girls quickly felt. “You have to tell your mother what you did and if you don’t, I’ll tell her myself.”

As kickback, the two girls gasped as they briskly shared a look with each other. “You’re being unfair!” Suiren cried out as she looked back at him, mild tears had fallen down her cheeks while Sarada placed a comforting hand against her sister’s back.

“I’m so sorry Hokage-Sama, as the older sister I should’ve been more wary,” Sarada apologised and in ponder, Naruto clasped his hands together.

“I won’t tell Sakura if Suiren makes up for it,” Naruto candidly implied and in that second, Suiren’s crocodile tears had come to a stop.

“Why do I have to be the only one to make up for it?” Suiren complained and with a knowing look, Naruto pulled himself to his feet.

“Because I know it was your idea,” he factually concluded and in a brief motion, Suiren folded her arms. “From now on, you have to babysit my daughter Himawari, starting tomorrow.”

It wasn’t like Suiren disliked Himawari, but with the gasp she had let out made it seem like she did; she had raised her hands up in defence and to influence her uncle to make another option but she was soon ushered out of the office as Lord Hokage commented that it was time for them to go back home to theiir mother.

⋆｡‧₊°꧁ ༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻ ꧂‧₊˚.⋆

The moment the house door had been unlocked, it was revealed that a certain pink-haired woman had motioned herself to gather her coat and slippers to search for her twin daughters, yet the moment the creak of the front door had been echoed through the Uchiha home, the matriarch had set herself to be relieved that her two girls were safe.

As she dropped her keys into her coat, Sakura hastily hugged her two girls, more relieved than angry. “Where were you two?!” She exclaimed in sadness and the second Sakura had pulled away from them, hands still on both of their shoulders, green eyes had quickly examined Suiren and Sarada to check for any bruises.

“I caught them having a night-walk,” Naruto answered and as he closed the door behind him, he quickly dusted his sandals against the welcome mat. Verily, Naruto didn’t like lying to his team-mate, but he’d rather not get in trouble with the woman known for her shocking temper. “During her time off missions, Suiren is going to be baby-sitting Himawari.”

Surprised, Sakura pulled her sight to her daughter, her expression agreeable. “It’ll take her mind off it,” Sakura said as she put her coat back onto its hanger and the moment Sakura finished her quick task, she walked towards her blond team-mate while the two girls silently walked towards the sofa.

Within Sakura’s and Naruto’s brief conversation, Suiren gently nudged her elbow into Sarada’s rib, eyes glinted with mischief that had Sarada wonder if there would be an end to her play. “Look,” Suiren whispered as she forcibly made her hand glow blue, in short awe, Sarada quickly covered Suiren’s hands in attempt to make Suiren not catch the attention of their mother.

“Be less obvious,” Sarada hushed and in response Suiren blew a light raspberry.

“She’ll be starting tomorrow,” the girls heard Naruto said and quickly, Suiren peeked her head towards the two adults. “Himawari is a brilliant child, there’ll be no issues,” Naruto winked and as Suiren didn’t utter a word, Sakura gathered the moment to tell the two girls to go back to bed.

⋆｡‧₊°꧁ ༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻ ꧂‧₊˚.⋆

It took Suiren less than five minutes to fall asleep and appear in the place she had dreamt nights before. She had observed that the place had still carried the gloomy redness she had first seen when she had first interacted with the area, but there had been a singular commodity that had changed.

It was warmer, Suiren had been grateful that she did not have to shiver and hug herself for heat thus she focused to look for the boy, as much as a hostile person he displayed himself to be, Suiren had still liked the presence he had given her, perhaps, it was because she knew there had been a more delicate personality that had been hidden under the steel-like shell. Suiren had not really been someone to continue conversing with people who had brought her nothing but rudeness. Though, as she had said before, her dreams had always had meanings and Suiren had been eager to decipher this one.

“Girl?”

Immediately, the girl had jumped, his arrival had been so airy that Suiren, the girl who had been known for her keen sensory hadn’t realised he was around till now. As she had turned to his direction, Suiren had sent him a look that displayed that she had disapproved of what he had just done. “I’m surprised to still see you here,” the boy said.

“It’s not like I wanted to be here,” Suiren replied and sassily, the girl had dropped her hand to her side as she had felt the offended look the boy had given her.

“Get out then.”

“Hmph,” Suiren rolled her eyes. “I just started dreaming, if I leave, I’ll wake up and I’m slumped.”

Silent, the boy had remained still as he had watched Suiren move closer to him, her features racy and undaunted with a hint of delicacy. “Why are you so hostile?” Suiren inquired and as much as her presence had made the boy feel nervous, he had still brought himself to furrow his eyebrows and throw a disdained look.

“Why are you so annoying?”

As a response, Suiren laughed. “The same can be asked to you,” she shrugged and offended he remained silent. His position still remained as before but his eyes shadowed every movement Suiren had made. “Where are you from?” Suiren asked, even though it was an attempt, there was a feeling that had underlined that the boy wouldn’t answer her question.

Annoyed, Suiren rolled her eyes as she strolled to where she had sat in the dream before, she had hugged herself as she pulled her legs against her chest. Quiet, the boy followed her, he still kept his distance but he had positioned himself closer than before. Patient, Suiren gently pressed the back of her head against the wall as she had waited for time to pass by.

“Are you going to sit there and wait for your energy to come back?” The boy asked and miffed, Suiren turned to look at the boy, irked.

“Well since you don’t want to have a normal conversation with me…” she trailed and annoyed, the boy pulled a face.

“We should focus on finding out why you’re here,” the boy countered and with a small tug on her lip, Suiren pulled her hands on top of her knees.

“Don’t you think answering questions about each other would help?” Suiren said, “I’ll go first, my name is Suiren.”

“That’s a pretty name,” he replied, “doesn’t it mean flint man?” He asked and the way his eyes glinted Suiren had understood that he had attempted to pull on her leg.

With a sour look on her face, Suiren turned to look away from him. “It also means lotus flower,” she said and humoured by his own comment, the boy had dryly chuckled at his own joke. “I’m also from Konoha.”

“I heard of that Village,” he commented, “I heard that the people there are known to be too nice.”

Suiren snorted in response, as she lowered her knees against her chest. “Well, I know that you’re hurt, scared and angry,” she listed as she returned her gaze to him and captured the furrowed gaze on his face. “I figured it out because this place symbolises your heart and your mind, it’s really dark and it lacks love here---”

“I’m not scared,” the boy spat and Suiren smiled.

“It’s okay to be scared,” Suiren said.

“I don’t fear anyone,” he continued.

“It’s okay to fear.”

“Who do you think you are?” The boy rudely asked. “Do you think you’re my saviour?!”

Surprised, Suiren threw her head back while a scoff had emerged from the back of her throat. “It wasn’t what I was planning to do---plus, isn’t the man supposed to be like that for the woman?”

Embarrassed, the boy turned his head away from her, unaware of the smirk that had been planted on her face. On the other hand, Suiren had then looked ahead of her. “I’ll be leaving now,” she said and as she pulled herself onto her feet, she prepared herself to leave, the boy peeled his lips separate from each other as he gathered the words to speak to her, but the girl had already left, leaving him alone in the dark abyss.

⋆｡‧₊°꧁ ༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻ ꧂‧₊˚.⋆

♆

Fetish

Rating: 🔞

Summary: Sunghoon likes being in an on again, off again relationship. It's like a game to him. It makes him feel powerful. Especially with a woman so in love with him, that she is willing to come running into his bed whenever he beckons her.

Warnings: SUNGHOON IS A TOTAL DISASTER OF A MANIPULATIVE DOUCHE AT FIRST, SMUT, PETNAMES IE; PRINCESS, BABY, DARLING, ANAL PLAY, SPITTING, ACCIDENTAL PREGNANCY

Notes: this is loosely based on fetish by Selena Gomez. I don't feel like proofreading yall. Please, it's not that serious. Btw this is quite possibly the most toxic thing you'll ever read lol but I just gotta get it outta my brain

Power.

It was addicting. Enchanting. She gave herself over to him without so much as a second thought. Released every coherent thought from her mind to give him her full submission. She trusted him, too much perhaps, with her body. Her love, her heart. No matter how many times he pushed her away, she always came crawling back to him, desperately in love. Ready to do any and everything to please him.

"Take it or leave it. Baby, take it or leave it. But I know you won't leave it. 'Cause I know that you need it..."

He sickened himself with the way he'd mock her.

"Back already, Doll? Can't get enough, can you? It's been how long? Two days? That's a new record. Are you that obsessed with my dick?"

Sunghoon hated himself sometimes. Because despite his actions, he really did love her. But this cat and mouse game, this torture he put her through, had become almost a form of foreplay to him. He reveled in the way she cried and begged him to come back to her. The way she fell completely apart in his absence. The longing for him in her eyes when he returned. She'd sit obediently at his feet. Naked, wet, and begging for his attention. His affection. Anything. His trapped little mouse.

His love was consuming. Unique. An experience that she knew no one else could give her. It felt like ecstasy shooting through her veins and like a noose tightening around her neck. Like warm rays of sunshine and cold, dark, thunderous clouds. She knew she could never live without it. But she also knew that love shouldn't feel like this. She tried to have more respect for herself. She needed it, actually. Especially given the news she had just discovered this morning... She tried to leave. But she could never seem to stay away. She found herself pondering over this very fact as she lay in his bed, listening to the harsh droplets of rain beating against the window.

"Come here, baby. You were gone a whole week this time. I missed you." He nuzzled his face into the crook of her bare neck, giddy with the elation of having fucked her into oblivion for his own selfish satisfaction. She was almost able to convince herself that this was a normal and healthy relationship.

"Don't wait so long next time."

Next time.

Next. Fucking. Time.

She knew what that meant. It meant he'd get bored within the next week or two and tell her it was over once again. It meant that he'd leave her there, her heart bleeding out from his emotional torment while he disappeared completely unscathed. Only to return with a pretty smile and a hard dick, enough to make her forget all of the pain he put her through.

Something snapped inside of her.

She promptly sat up, untangling herself from within his long limbs. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, bristling when she felt the length of his finger trailing down the curve of her spine.

"Oh? Have I struck a nerve, darling?" That damned condescending tone. She could hear the grin in his voice.

"There won't be a next time, Sunghoon. This is it. I'm done. I get to leave this time," She tried to keep her tone even and stern. She knew that if he heard even an inkling of wavering, he'd overpower her, turn this whole thing around and have her begging for him like the pathetic slut he made her.

She was taking his power away. Protecting her sanity and mental well-being had never been as important as it was now. He was equal parts amused and alarmed internally. Since when did she get to change the rules of the game?

"Then go."

He knew she wouldn't. Couldn't. Calling her bluff seemed like a smart idea at first. After all, they both knew how desperate she was for him. He didn't think he could lose, but as she stood up and began gathering her clothes, his hands began to shake. Could it be that he had finally pushed her just a bit too far?

"It's late, darling." She frustratedly tugged her sweatpants on, hopping on one foot as she jammed her socks on as well. "And raining. You're terrible at driving in the rain." Why was it so hard for him to ask her to stay?

"Like you care," She scoffed to herself.

She decided to forgo the bra, yanking his her hoodie over her head and storming out the room without as much as a goodbye. She was doing everything in her power to convince herself that this was it. That she didn't need him anymore. He tugged on his briefs and followed behind at a lazy pace, resting his forearms over the railing as he watched her from the top of the staircase.

He watched as she yanked his door open, heart pounding, as he anticipated her next move. She stood, seemingly frozen for what felt like an eternity. A depraved smile spread across his face as she slowly shut the door, unable to even cross the threshold. Her head thudded softly against the door as her frame shook from quiet sobs.

"I'm not surprised. I sympathize. I can't deny, your appetite. You got a fetish for my love. I push you out and you come right back..."

Just as he suspected, she was too weak, too in love, too powerless to leave. He hated how much he loved this. He took his time descending the stairs.

"I thought you said you were leaving? Change your mind?"

"Why?" She hiccuped. "Why can't you just love me the way I love you?" And why was she so weak for him? This was not the time to fall for his charms again. Life was forcing her to make a choice. But maybe she could have just one more night....

"I do love you, Darling-"

"You don't! All you do is leave me. And push me away. All the time. I have no idea where you go the majority of the time. Or who you're with. You could be out fucking who knows how many other women. And I'm just the only one dumb enough to keep crawling back to you. I'm such a fucking idiot." The feeling of his lips pressing gentle kisses into her neck made the hot tears roll down her cheeks more profusely.

"I don't appreciate you suggesting that I'm out fucking other women. Because I'm not. And you know I'm not. And again, if you're so unhappy with what I do, then leave."

"You know I can't, Sunghoon," She whimpered feeling absolutely pathetic.

"And why not? I want to hear you say it."

"Because. No matter how bad this hurts, I love you too fucking much to leave you."

"That's right, baby. Cause you love me too fuckin' much."

"Reaching your limit. Say you're reaching your limit. Going over your limit, but I know you can't quit it..."

Her breath caught in her throat as she felt his long fingers hook into the waistband of her sweatpants. He eased them down her legs, along with her panties. He gripped a handful of her fat ass, before spanking her harshly.

"Get your pretty ass back up those stairs." She sniffled and wiped her tears before turning to walk back up the stairs.

"No, sweetheart. I want you to crawl for me."

That shit eating grin on his face made her want to kill him and marry him at the same time. Nevertheless, she maintained eye contact with him as she sunk to her knees and began crawling. It was degrading and humiliating and it was making her tight little cunt uncomfortably wet. She could feel his gaze on her as she crawled up the steps, his eyes drinking in her clenching anal passage and the small, gushy hole of her pussy.

"What a good girl. Crawling for me. With your pretty little holes on display, just waiting for me to use them. You look so fucking pretty, Doll." His cock twitched when he saw the way she was clenching and tightening in excitement. It felt like it took ages for them to reenter his bedroom.

"Up. Up on the bed." She scrambled to comply, lying flat on her back and spreading her legs wide for him to settle in between. But he didn't. Instead he sauntered away into his closet, only to return with three small boxes.

"What do you say.....we try something new tonight, my darling love, huh?"

"What's that?"

"Toys," The wolfish grin on his face meant trouble.

"What kind of toys?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Safe word?"

"Red."

"Good," Before she could ask any further questions he was opening up the first box and pulling out a pair of handcuffs.

He had restrained her plenty of times, so she barely raised a brow at the sight of the cuffs. He tossed the box to the side, hovering over her and raising her arms above her head. He tugged her hoodie off, leaving her naked beneath him, a familiar and welcome position for him. He intertwined their fingers, leaning down to rub his nose against hers in an Eskimo kiss. He leaned back half an inch, staring deep into her eyes. For a split second she thought she could see the same love she had for him reflecting back at her in his gaze. The clinking of the cuffs closing around her wrists brought her back to reality. He placed a single chaste kiss to her lips before continuing to kiss down, stopping at her neck.

"You know, sweetheart, I really do love you." He was pressing open mouth kisses along the length of her neck, stopping when he got to that one spot that made her shiver.

"I don't want you to ever feel like I don't. Because I do. I just happen to also really enjoy our little game." His lips closed around her sensitive spot, nipping and biting to form a bruise.

He pulled back with a wet pop, continuing his trail of kisses to her chest. He took in a nipple, softly suckling, just the way she liked it as he looked up at her. Brows furrowed and lips set in a perpetual pout, she was so fucking cute it made Sunghoon sick that he had ever hurt her.

"You're so fucking cute. Spread your legs, baby. Wanna play with you." He mumbled around her tit.

She complied, the sticky wet lips of her cunt flowering open as she spread her legs wide. His fingers danced down her abdomen, causing an eruption of involuntary giggles to bubble out of her, and Sunghoon found that her giggles sounded way sweeter to his ears than her sobs. The cold tips of his fingers ghosted over the place she needed him to touch most, her aching, slick covered clit.

"Look at me, my love. I want you to watch me while I pleasure you." Her eyes were still teary when they met his.

He watched as they went hazy and unfocused, her entire body shuddering as he dragged his fingers teasingly up and down the length of her gash. Sunghoon could feel her excitement dripping down his fingers, gathering and spilling out of his palm as he pushed his middle and ring fingers into her pussy. She instinctively clenched around his digits, a whimper escaping her as she felt his fingers crook, massaging her g-spot.

"I have to tell you, honey... I don't take too kindly to you threatening to leave me," She gulped in a mixture of nerves, excitement, and anticipation.

"Let's be honest here," He continued, "You and I both know that I'm it for you."

"I mean... do you really think you'll ever be able to find another man who can touch you like this?"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, his fingers were abusing her g-spot like never before.

"Something about me got you hooked on my body. Take you over and under and twisted up like origami..."

She wanted to reply. To give him an attitude - no, to give him hell, but the way he was curving his fingers within her core made her brain go foggy. A funny feeling was quickly beginning to bubble up in her stomach. Like butterflies and warm kisses and also a bit like needing to pee. She opened her mouth to warm him, but all that came out was a helpless squeak. The feeling was mounting within her, overwhelming and intense. She wanted to reach out for him, to hold him as she shuddered through what she was sure was about to be a very wet orgasm only to be reminded of the cuffs around her wrist. It was all happening too quickly for her to process, her eyes falling shut and a desperate moan escaping her as he touched her with an expertise that only he possessed.

"I said look at me, slut. You're gonna watch me make this pathetic fucking pussy squirt. You're gonna cum for me again, and again, and again. And you're never gonna threaten to fucking leave me ever again. Because nobody can make you feel as good as I do."

Sunghoon's ego inflated ten fold when he felt her cunt lock tight around his fingers. His chest swelled with pride at the sight of her eyes rolling back, pussy squirting a glimmering arch of clear juices as she screamed in euphoria. He brought his other hand up to toy with her spasming clit, chuckling to himself as it made her squirt another small stream. She was shaking like a leaf, desperately closing her thighs in hopes of getting him to stop overstimulating her.

"N-no! No more, baby, please," She gasped.

"Oh, Sweetheart. We're nowhere near stopping."

He pulled his sopping fingers out of her cunt, smearing her juices across her face before forcing his fingers past her lips.

"Suck."

She complied immediately, taking his long pale fingers into the back of her throat and suckling sloppily. The sight of her plump lips wrapped around his fingers made his dick twitch, a moan escaping him as he pushed deeper into her throat.

"You gonna gag for me, pretty girl? You know how much I fucking love it when you gag," She did exactly that, throat contacting around his digits as her mouth filled with saliva.

"Mmm, just like that. Who's my good girl, baby?" His deep baritone demanded an answer.

"Me," She garbled out around his fingers, drool dripping from the side of her mouth. "I'm your good girl."

She felt a fresh wave of juices oozing out of her as he sensually slid his fingers out from her lips.

"Now that you've got my fingers good and wet, I can prep that pretty little asshole for our next toy." Her eyes grew wide at that. Sunghoon grabbed the second white box, opening it to reveal an anal plug with a cute, pink, heart-shaped crystal on the end.

"What color are we feeling, baby?"

"Y-yellow," She had never been nervous enough to say the safe word before. They had also never explored beyond fingers and the occasional tongue anally.

"Yellow? OK, sweetheart. Tell me what you're thinking. What's going on inside that pretty head?" He set the box aside in favor of soothingly massaging her thighs.

"I guess I'm just nervous."

"It's normal to be nervous when experimenting with new things. But I'd never make you do anything you didn't want to do. We can stop right now and just cuddle if you want. Or we can go slow and see if we like it or not. It's up to you. So, do you want to stop, or do you feel brave enough to try?" There was no judgment in his voice. No disappointment or anger. On the contrary, his gentle tone relaxed her enough to want to try.

"Can we take it slow?"

"Of course we can, Doll. My brave girl," He kissed the inside of her thighs sweetly, his lips lingering against her warm skin. His kisses trailed inwards, eventually landing him at her soft, wet mound.

Now that he knew she was feeling a bit uneasy, he watched her like a hawk for the first sign of discomfort. He placed open mouth kisses against her smooth skin, lips moistening with her sticky juices. He reached a hand up to grip around her waist as his tongue slid down to toy with the hood of her clit. Her hips bucked into his face, still highly sensitive from orgasming twice just moments ago. The scent of her pussy seeped into his nose, making him throb within the confines of his boxers. Her taste quickly spread across each and every one of his taste buds, intoxicating him like an aphrodisiac. He sucked her swollen pink bud into his mouth, groaning as he rolled his tongue over her most sensitive spot repeatedly.

"Fuck, that feels so goood," She moaned out, hips rolling into his mouth.

Whilst she was gyrating and distracted, Sunghoon took the opportunity to push his first digit inside of her winking rim. He pulled back from her clit, spitting a messy wad of saliva onto her bud before slurping it back into his mouth. She was squirming now, head thrown back as she dug her heels into the bed.

"Fuck, please, Sunghoon. Please, baby. I-I need..."

"What do you need, love?"

"Dick." She groaned.

"What an ungrateful little whore," He couldn't hide the grin in his voice. "Here I am. On my fucking knees for you. Eating this fat, juicy little cunt just the way you like... and all you can think about is dick." He didn't miss the way her asshole fluttered around his finger as he degraded her.

"You'll get my dick when I feel you've fucking earned it."

With that said, his second finger pressed inside of her rim to join the first, and he went back to lazily lapping at her quivering bud. At this point, she was so gone that she was attempting to push her asshole further down the length of his fingers, whimpering in need.

"I feel so fucking empty, Sunghoon. Please. Need you to fill me up, baby," She whined breathily, only to be ignored.

The gentle nibbling of his teeth made her withe against his sheets, her thighs closing around his head. With her plush thighs simultaneously plugging and warming his ears, he listened to her muffled sounds, his dick feeling like a steel rod in his briefs as she called out for him over and over in a preorgasmic daze.

"I love you. Love you so fucking much," He murmured into her cunt, removing his fingers and replacing them with the tip of the plug.

Her juices were flowing copiously from her pussy, providing more than enough lube for him to begin easing the toy past her rim. She keened in pleasure, wiggling impatiently until Sunghoon gripped her sternly and held her down still. He returned to sloppily suckling at her clit as the widest part of the plug stretched her tight ass open. He pushed it all the way in, his own hips beginning to buck impatiently into the mattress at the sight of the pink crystal shining enticingly as the plug fully sank into her virgin hole.

"Shit, baby. So fucking sexy." Sunghoon was mesmerized at the sight, blindly reaching for his phone as clear beads of her arousal began to ooze and drip all over her pretty new plug.

"I'm gonna take a picture, baby. Cause this is too fucking pretty to not capture." Tears of desperation and horniness were welling up in her eyes as he spread her cunt open with his fingers to take pictures. The rattling of her cuffs as she absent-mindedly tried to free her hands broke Sunghoon out of his stupor.

"P-please?" This is what Sunghoon lived for. The desperation for him, her willingness to submit herself to him for his pleasure and his pleasure only.

"Have I earned it yet?" Oh, did she.

"I dunno, baby. You think you deserve my cock?" She had more than earned it with her trust and bravery.

"Y-yes?" She thought she might orgasm completely untouched as she watched him push his briefs down his legs and kick them to the side. He crawled back between her legs, her entire body shaking in anticipation of what was to come. He dragged her closer, the bottom of her thighs resting over the top of his as he reached for his third box.

"I think you deserve it too, my love. You've been such a good girl for me, hmm? Such a good girl, thaaaat... I'm gonna give you exactly what you've been begging for."

He leaned over her on his fists, capturing her lips in a toe-curlingly passionate kiss as he teasingly ground his length into her pulsating snatch. She stopped breathing entirely as the wide, pinkish red tip of his dick kissed her entrance. As he pushed in, she heard a small click before a buzzing noise filled her ears. With one thrust, he was bottoming out inside of her and a brand new sensation, of vibration, was surrounding her throbbing clit.

She didn't last two seconds longer.

Her back arched painfully hard, her thighs instinctively closing, which made the sensations of vibration, of Sunghoon stretching out and fucking into her hole, of the anal plug so much more intense. A tortured scream echoed off the walls, followed by pleasure filled sobbing as she writhed and bucked and rolled her hips in tandem with the waves of pleasure. She was dying, he was absolutely killing her with his perfect dick, her cunt squeezing and creaming and gripping his length as she nutted all over him.

"Fuck, yes! Nasty little cunt is fucking milking me so good. Keep creaming on my dick, baby. That shit feels so fucking good. I love you, pretty."

"L...ove.....y.....y-ou," She slurred, dick drunk out of her mind.

"I know you fuckin' do, baby. Love me so fuckin' much, huh? You want to turn around for me, Mama? Let me hit it from the back?"

"Fuck yes!" He never stopped thrusting as he unlocked the cuffs around her wrists, only pulling out long enough to flip her onto her knees and readjust her vibrator before he was pistoning away inside of her again.

The harder he fucked into her, the deeper her back arched, until she was laying on the side of her face, watching him fuck her in the mirror across the room. The sight of her fat little ass boucing and jiggling with each thrust, his throbbing shaft soaked and coated in her gooey cream was straight out of his nastiest fantasies. The pink crystal of her plug was calling out enticingly to him. He gave it an experimental tug, moaning loudly as it made her clench viciously around his dick.

"You like that, don't you, you fucking slut? Like having something up your tight little ass, don't you?" He pulled her plug out, spitting a wad of saliva onto her ass before pushing it back in and fucking her with it.

"Fuuuuuck, Sunghoon! You're gonna make me cum again!" She moaned.

"Go ahead, baby. Cum for me again. Get that pussy nice and fucking wet for me."

He could feel her walls starting to spasm around him again. He watched in awe as the arch in her back deepened impossibly further before she was rolling her hips back to meet his every thrust. With every thrust, he could feel her dripping down his balls, soaking his inner thighs. When he heard her start to whine with the onslaught of an impending orgasm, he turned her vibrator up a setting, moaning as it made her body go rigid. Sunghoon was captivated with the way her entire body froze, unable to do anything except surrender itself to him. He placed a firm hold around her waist, fucking into her with deep, slow strokes as she started to orgasm around him. It nearly knocked the wind out of him when he felt the first wet clench of her walls suckling and swallowing his dick. She was milking him, eyes rolled back in her head, fingers strangling his linens. He couldn't help but observe the way her pussy was convulsing and tightening around his cock, creating a frosty white ring around the base of his cock.

"Thank you," She whimpered brokenly.

"Shit, baby. Pussy looks so pretty cumming on my dick."

"Yeah?"

"Mhmmm. And who does this pretty little pussy belong to, Princess?"

"Pussy is all fucking your's." She was shuddering now, shaking in the aftermath of orgasm.

"Yeah? This pretty little pussy is all fucking mine? Say it again, baby," Sunghoon moaned, head rolling back onto his shoulders.

"My pretty little pussy is all your's."

He groaned in response, pulling out and repositioning her onto her back. He turned the vibrator off, chucking it to the side and bringing her ankles up to rest over his shoulders. He pushed back inside of her heat, overwhelmed by the snug fit. He rested the weight of his body on top of her, wanting to feel as close to her as possible. His deep, slow strokes resumed, stoking the fire burning in the pit of his stomach. No woman had ever showed him euphoria the way she did. And as he rode her sopping cunt, staring deeply into her eyes, he knew he was just as obsessed and in love as she was. A moan slipped out of his mouth, a shiver racking his body as he felt the mushroom head of his cock twitch and leak against her cervix.

"Open your mouth." She complied immediately, his dick stiffening even more if possible as he spat a wad of spit onto her waiting tongue. She swallowed it down, amused at his antics.

"You're so fucking nasty," He smirked.

"You love it."

"I do. I love everything about you..." He trailed off, her eyes getting that dreamy look in them as his thrust became more intense.

"Love the way you feel cumming on my dick. Love your pathetic little moans and cries. Love the way you love me."

"You got a fetish for my love..."

She tangled her manicured fingers through his dark locks, pressing a chaste kiss on his lips as the room echoed with the sounds of their fucking. This was truly Sunghoon's favorite position, not to fuck, but to make love in. She felt so warm and tight and good in this position, and he had been holding out for so long. He could reach the deepest depths of her cunt, his balls aching at the feeling of his tip drooling precum all over her cervix. He could touch her all over, his hands occupying themselves with both a handful of ass and a handful of her bouncing tit. He could lean down and kiss her (or spit in her mouth). But most importantly, he could see her. Stretched out across his bed. So submissive, so good. Just for him, only for him. Letting him take her over and over again. In whatever position he wanted, as many times as he wanted, whenever he wanted.

Because she was his woman.

The thought alone was enough to send him into orbit.

"I'm gonna cum," He grunted. "W-...where?"

"Cum inside me, baby." He laced his fingers through hers, as her other unoccupied hand continued to tug and stroke through his hair.

"Shit. I love you so fucking much."

She couldn't ever recall Sunghoon repeating the phrase this often before. But there was sincerity in his voice. And an urgency, a desperation in his love making that made her feel for once that maybe he did love her the same way she loved him.

She was enthralled as his eyes grew glassy and unfocused, his breathing deepening as pitiful cries escaped his pink lips. And suddenly, his hips began to rut into her shakily, losing any and all sense of rhythm as he impatiently approached his climax. She felt his hard cock pulsating within her before his head dropped forward onto her chest and he whined out in a long, weak moan. Warmth flooded within her as he erupted, his aching, swollen dickhead painting her cervix white with his cum as he shook powerlessly in her arms. She yanked his head back so she could watch his face contort in brain numbing pleasure, his fucked out expression stroking her ego. She ground her hips up into his pelvis, delighted to see his eyes rolling back in his head, mouth falling open in a silent scream of ecstasy in response as he suffered through the peak of his climax. She fucked him through it, gently rocking against him to help him come down from his high.

She stroked a hand up and down his sweaty, shivering back as he panted, limp and exhausted. Laying on her chest made him feel relaxed and lethargic in the aftermath of the single greatest orgasm his body had ever been made to endure. He laid there until he could feel his legs again, shuddering as he pulled out of her. He placed a tender kiss on her lips before walking to the bathroom to get a warm rag to clean her up. When he returned with the rag, he was surprised to see her already up and tugging on her hoodie once again.

"Why are you getting dressed? You didn't even let me clean you up, Pretty."

"Sunghoon. I um... I'm not going to do the whole aftercare thing tonight. I meant what I said earlier. This is it for us. So I'm just gonna leave."

"What are you talking about? Leave for what? Just spend the night with me, babe."

"No, Sunghoon. I can't. This relationship was doomed from the start. And starting right now, I have to move on."

"Is this about what I said earlier? About you not staying away so long next time? Because if that's what's got you so upset, then I'm really sorry. It was a dumb thing to say. But it's hardly worth losing our relationship over." He could feel his pulse staring to race as she calmly stood up and began dressing.

"It's about more than just that, Sunghoon. I'm... it's just time for me to grow up and move on."

"But I love you. You can't just leave me."

"It doesn't feel good, does it?" She couldn't help but snap.

"So this is just you trying to get back at me?"

"No, Sunghoon! Just drop it, and let me leave." She gathered the remainder of her things and headed towards the door only to be stopped by a hand around her wrist.

"No! You say it's time to grow up, so we're going to talk this out. Like adults."

"Sunghoon, just let me-"

"No, you're not fucking leave me."

"Sunghoon-"

"Just stop it, you're not going anywhere!"

"I have to-"

"NO!"

"I'm pregnant! Ok?!"

The only sound in the room was the raindrops hitting the window. The now cold rag slipped from Sunghoon's fingers, hitting the hardwood floor with a wet splat.

"P-pregnant?"

"Yes."

"... For real?"

"Mhmm."

"Like... with a baby?"

"Yes, dumbass." Sunghoon ran a shaky hand through his sex tangled bed head.

"When did you find out?"

"I had a doctor's appointment this morning."

"I missed our baby's first appointment?!"

"No, it was just a regular check-up, and I had some blood work done. That's how they found out that I'm carrying."

"Do you know how far along you are?" His heart was beating so loud he wondered if she could hear it.

"Six weeks."

"...We're having a baby?" He whispered almost as if he was too afraid to say it out loud.

"No, I'm having a baby."

"Fuck's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I'm pregnant, I'm going to have this baby, and I'm going to raise it. Alone."

"And where the fuck did you get the idea that I'd ever let that happen?"

"Sunghoon, I love you. But you're not dependable. Kids need stability. And I refuse to let my baby see you come in and out of our lives like a revolving door for your entertainment."

"Our baby."

"What are you not understanding?"

"Our. Baby. Whether you like it or not, that baby is just as much mine as it is yours. So you don't get to just cut me out of the picture. I know I haven't been the most... stable. But I'm begging you to give me a chance. Let me prove to you that I can be a father to our baby."

"Sunghoon.... I don't know."

"Please," He pulled her closer to him before slowly letting his hand creep down to caress her stomach.

"Give me a chance. It's not like we aren't in love with each other, or we're strangers or something. It wasn't intentional, but we made this baby together out of love. And he or she deserves to grow up with both parents. Under one roof. As a family."

His eyes were watery with emotion. And again, Sunghoon hated himself for making her feel like she needed to protect herself, to protect his own baby from him. He felt like he was finally being forced to deal with the consequences of his actions.

"I don't want you to be with me out of obligation. Just because I'm pregnant. I want you to be with me because you love me."

"Do you think I'd be begging for a second chance if I didn't love you? Do you think I'd be pleading with you not to leave? You know I love you. And you're carrying my child. That only makes me love you more. Knowing that there's a little piece of me, of us, growing inside of you... I understand why your first instinct was to leave. I know you want to protect our baby. But I promise you, if you give me just one more chance, I'll show you how dependable I can be. I'll stick by your side forever. I promise. I'm gonna mess up. I'll probably say some dumb stuff every now and then. We'll piss each other off and argue occasionally. But I'll never leave you. Neither one of you. Ever again." She had never seen such determination in his eyes. Everything in her was screaming at her to leave. To create distance. To run away before he could.

"Let's just try, baby. Please?" The tears that were shimmering in his eyes began to spill over onto his pale cheeks.

In a flash, she imagined how her life would play out if she said no. It was a safer route to take. Looking at him, though, in this moment, in his bedroom while he fought for his family with tears in his eyes, she knew she couldn't leave.

"Promise? Promise you won't leave us?" As soon as the words came out of her mouth, she could see the weight of the world lift off of his shoulders.

"I promise!"

"....OK, Hoon. Let's just try."

He enveloped her in his arms tightly, molding his lips to hers like he'd never get the chance to do it again. And as he dragged her back to bed, a protective hand resting on her stomach, on their baby, she knew she made the right choice.

Don't kill me yall🫢🫣. I'll go back and edit later. Also the end is kinda blah but its whatevs. Anyways, feedback is appreciated. Toodles 🫡

Your relationship with Sukuna was on its last legs. You tried to make things work, but he was as difficult as it could get, and mean. After a particularly terrible fight, the two of you made up, and you began to hope again. Later that night, his friends called, inviting him to the club. You told him you weren’t comfortable with it. He agreed to stay, even tucking you into bed.

But once you fell asleep, he snuck out.

Things went downhill from there.

Sukuna and his friends drank heavily, and soon he was caught up in the chaos—laughing, dancing, and losing control. While you slept, his friends began posting videos online: Sukuna receiving a lap dance, drunk and kissing another girl, clearly high and out of his mind.

When you woke up, you reached over to find his side of the bed cold and empty. You thought he had left early for work. But then your phone started blowing up with messages from friends and strangers alike. Your heart pounded as you unlocked it and opened Instagram, only to see the posts.

One after another, each post felt like a knife to your chest—Sukuna smiling lazily, his hands on another woman, his lips brushing hers. You could see the flashing lights, hear the blaring music, and feel the sting of betrayal in every picture and clip. Your fingers trembled, and your vision blurred with tears as you watched in disbelief.

The room felt like it was spinning. You tried to steady yourself, but the weight of it all was crushing. How could he do this to you, especially after you had been so open, so vulnerable about your feelings? After he had promised to stay?

You had told him, in the heat of making up, that this was his last chance. You were clear: if he messed up again, you were packing your things and going back to the States. He had looked you in the eyes and promised. And yet, he still went and did this.

Meanwhile, Sukuna was still sleeping, his head pounding and the room spinning. He didn’t remember a damned thing the night before. He remembered sneaking out, thinking he’d make it back before sunrise, slip back into bed, and act like nothing happened. You were just being too dramatic, he thought. You’d told him how you didn’t like his friends, that they hated you and were trying to break the two of you up. He’d laughed it off as paranoia. Crazy talk.

He vaguely remembered drinking a shot—just one—and after that, things got hazy. He didn’t believe for a second that his friends would spike his drink.

No, they’d never do that… right?

But now, as he blinked his eyes open, he realized something was very wrong. Next to him was a woman he didn’t recognize, definitely not you. The sunlight was streaming through the window, and panic shot through his body like a jolt of electricity. His heart raced as he sat up, the events of the night before still a foggy blur.

“Oh, shit,” he muttered under his breath, his mind starting to piece together the fragments. You two had just made up—how could he have been so reckless?

Sukuna fumbled for his phone, his hands shaking. The screen lit up, showing the time: 12:46. His heart sank even further. He really had messed up this time. The battery was about to die, a thin red line warning him he had little time left. He glanced around, trying to make sense of the unfamiliar room.

What confused him most was that he was still in his clothes from the night before. A small relief—at least he hadn’t slept with the woman next to him. But that didn’t matter much, did it? He was still in bed with another woman, a stranger, and that alone was enough to shatter whatever trust you had left in him.

His head throbbed with a dull, pounding pain, a mix of alcohol and regret. He desperately needed water, but his feet felt glued to the floor. As he forced himself to sit up, the room seemed to spin around him. He rubbed his temples, trying to shake off the fog of the hangover, but his mind remained a jumbled mess.

He checked his phone again, scrolling through the flood of messages, but your name wasn’t among them. No missed calls, no texts, no messages. Just silence.

It took you two hours to get yourself to function properly. When something traumatic happened, you had this tendency to just shut down. No crying, no shouting—just silence. You couldn’t even talk right now. You sat on the edge of the bed, staring blankly at the wall, your mind numb. The pain was so immense that it felt like nothing at all, a hollow void where your heart should be.

Slowly, you got up, moving like you were underwater, every step heavy and disjointed. You made your way to the bedroom closet and grabbed a suitcase, your hands moving on autopilot. You began packing everything you owned in this place, methodically folding clothes, stacking books, gathering small, personal items that had once made this space feel like home. Now, every object felt like a weight dragging you down.

You didn’t remember much from those moments, only flashes of despair and confusion. Your mind was clouded, a fog of grief settling over you. All you knew was that you wanted to disappear, to somehow escape the unbearable ache in your chest.

How could this happen? Why? The questions repeated in your mind, over and over, like a broken record. Were you not enough? Was he cheating this whole time?

Your thoughts spiraled into a dark place, each one more suffocating than the last. The silence of the room pressed in around you, amplifying every doubt, every fear. You felt lost in a sea of uncertainty, desperately searching for something to hold onto, but finding nothing but emptiness.

You paused for a moment, standing still in the middle of the room, clutching a shirt to your chest. You wanted to scream, to cry, to do anything, but no sound came out. All that filled you was a deep, aching void that left you feeling more alone than ever before.

Just as you finished packing, the door opened, but you didn't flinch. Your fingers continued scrolling through your phone, searching for flight tickets. You didn’t care where it would take you—anywhere but here.

Sukuna stepped inside, his expression a mix of confusion and panic. You didn’t look up. Your face remained calm, almost eerily so, as if you were in a trance. You kept scrolling, your focus entirely on the screen, like it was the only thing anchoring you to reality.

“Where are you going?” he asked, his voice tight with panic. But you said nothing.

Your face was expressionless, your eyes fixed on your phone. He moved closer, desperate now. “Please,” he continued, “can’t we just… talk?”

Finally, you paused, letting out a slow, controlled breath. But you didn’t look at him. Your silence was deafening, more unnerving than any yelling or screaming could have been.

He swallowed hard, sensing the change, feeling the weight of your silence pressing down on him. “I… I didn’t mean for this to happen,” he tried again. "I don’t even remember what happened. I think I was drugged or something..." His voice grew softer, almost pleading now.

You continued to tap the screen, the sound of your fingers the only noise in the room. You found a flight and pressed "book," moving methodically, as if this was just another task on a list. Your calmness was unnerving, like the quiet before a storm.

“Y/N… please,” Sukuna whispered, taking another step forward, but your detachment made him falter.

You finally glanced up at him, your expression unreadable, your voice steady and calm. “I'm leaving,” you said quietly, as if stating a simple fact.

He blinked, stunned by the flatness of your tone. There was no anger, no emotion—just a cold, stark finality. “But… we can work this out,” he stammered, “right?”

You looked back at your phone, as if he were no longer even there. You were done listening, done hoping, done believing. His words were just noise now, meaningless in the face of everything he had broken.

Sukuna was a big man, another reason you had fallen in love with him. Being with him had made you feel so safe, so happy. But when you reached for your suitcase, he finally broke.

He snatched it out of your hand. "No, no, you're not leaving me," he insisted, his voice frantic. "Look, please just listen. I know I lied to you and snuck out, but I swear I would never cheat on you."

You stood still, watching him, his large frame towering over you, his eyes wide with fear and desperation. But your heart felt like ice. You could see the panic in his eyes, hear the tremor in his voice, but it didn’t matter. Not anymore.

His hands gripped the suitcase so tightly that his knuckles turned white. "Please," he begged again, "just… don’t go."

For a moment, you almost felt something—a flicker of the love you used to feel. But it was gone as quickly as it came. “Let go,” your voice is calm and steady.

“No, look, I would do anything,” he blurted out, his voice rising with desperation. “Okay, I see now why you don’t like my friends. I’ll cut them out. I won’t ever talk to another girl again. Just… anything. Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. Please.”

He was a mess, still hungover, his head pounding, his hands trembling. His breath came in ragged gasps as he struggled to keep it together, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. He looked so close to breaking down completely.

Why did he make this mistake? Why did he let himself slip up so badly? You had given him a chance, and he had blown it in mere hours. The realization seemed to dawn on him, his face twisting with guilt and regret. His shoulders sagged, and his voice broke. "I don’t want to lose you,” he whispered, his tone raw with fear.

But it didn’t matter anymore. Whatever he was offering now felt hollow, too little, too late. Your heart felt heavy, but your mind was made up.

"Let go," you repeated, firmer this time, your eyes locking onto his.

Sukuna's hand fell away from the suitcase as if it weighed a ton, his breath hitching. He wanted to fight, to argue, but the defeat in your eyes left him lost. “I’m so sorry,” he mumbled, his voice almost inaudible, choking on his own words.

But all you did was nod, a small, almost imperceptible nod, and turn toward the door.

He stood there, his whole world crumbling, as you walked away.

✶ CLOUD NINE

❛ 𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇───𝗆𝗂𝗅𝖺 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗆 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝖻𝗈𝗒𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽’𝗌 𝖼𝗁𝖾𝖾𝗄𝗌.

⌇ 2024 ៸៸ 爱 psh 𝔁 f!ocmember › ⌗ our story ? mila experiencing cuteness aggression after sunghoon has his wisdom tooth removed. REQ! ﹆ beware... nothing ^^ ✉️ ᝰ a little drabble to get out of writer’s block (੭˘͈ᵕ˘͈)੭ ❪ THE ✦ LIBRARY ❫

MILA LOVED ALL THINGS CUTE AND FLUFFY. So of course she loved her boyfriend’s cheeks, which were all round and oh-so-biteable, especially with the slight swelling from his recent wisdom tooth removal.

“You’re so cute,” she blurted, unable to keep her hands from poking the breadroll that was Park Sunghoon. He slightly winced from the contact, and Mila retracted her hand with a hasty, “Sorry.”

Mila still remembered when he first got home from the procedure. He was loopy—well, loopier than usual—and couldn’t last a second without blurting out the most adorable rambles while clinging to her like a baby, pouting and whining whenever one of the members stole her attention. He was just so… so… munchable! (Was that a word?) And the sight of his puffy cheeks as he scrolled on his phone made her heart and fists clench with the urge to attack him (affectionately, of course).

“You’re staring,” Sunghoon said, looking over the top of his phone to where Mila sat on his bed with a pillow in her lap, neither cuddling nor coddling him, but remaining fixated on his face for the past half an hour or so.

Mila nodded. “Eung.”

She didn’t offer any explanation after that, and Sunghoon pouted before turning his attention back to his phone. When he wasn’t looking, Mila shuffled closer to him. She continued to get closer ubefore stopping when he looked directly at her.

“What are you doing?” Sunghoon asked.

“Nothing.” Mila blinked innocently. “Don’t mind me.”

Sunghoon hummed, before turning his attention back to his phone. Mila immediately took the chance to lean down and enclose her mouth around one of his cheeks—her lips covering her teeth—and applying the slightest bit of pressure. “Nom.” She giggled before pulling away, watching as Sunghoon raised a hand to his cheek.

He turned to Mila with a smile. “What was that for?”

Mila shrugged. “Just because.” She swiftly leant down to place a peck on his other cheek. “I can’t help it.”

Sunghoon chuckled. “You did it wrong.”

Mila titled her head curiously. Sunghoon smiled as he let his phone fall to his chest before reaching up to cup Mila’s cheeks in his hands. Without another word, he brought her face down to his, pressing his lips softly against her squished cheek, causing her to giggle. Then when she least expected it, he let his fangs protruded form his lip, the canine subtly pricking the soft skin, causing her to whine in protest.

Sunghoon pulled away while laughing, as Mila pouted at him. “What was that for?”

“Just because.” Sunghoon smiled warmly as he pulled her down to his chest, nuzzling his cheek against hers. “I can’t help it.”

And Mila loved all things fluffy and cute. So of course she loved this moment right here and now.

Too Sweet

Toto Wolff x Reader

Max Verstappen x ex!Reader

Summary: Max used to think that you’re too sweet for him … now he has to learn to live with the fact that Toto has quite a sweet tooth (inspired by the song that I’ve had on repeat)

I take my whiskеy neat

The doors to the upscale restaurant swing open and Max strides through, his fingers lightly grazing the small of your back as he guides you inside. The dimly lit interior is bustling with the chatter of well-heeled patrons enjoying their evening repasts. A sharply dressed hostess greets you with a polite smile.

“Good evening, sir. Welcome to The Sazerac Room. Do you have a reservation?”

“Verstappen,” Max replies curtly.

The hostess consults her tablet, then nods. “Right this way please.”

She leads the two of you through the elegant dining room, weaving between tables topped with crisp white linens and elaborate floral centerpieces. Max keeps his hand at your back, his thumb idly stroking in a soothing pattern as you take in the opulent surroundings with wide eyes.

“This place is incredible,” you murmur, craning your neck to admire the ornate chandeliers glittering overhead. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

He simply grunts in acknowledgment as the hostess stops before an intimate table tucked discreetly in the corner. After pulling out your chair for you with a flourish, she sets two leather-bound menus on the table.

“Your server will be right with you,” she informs them before departing with a polite nod.

You waste no time in opening your menu, hungrily perusing the offerings. “Oh Max, look at all these amazing cocktails! The La Vie en Rose sounds divine — rose liqueur, raspberries, lemon ...” You glance up at him hopefully. “We should get a couple of those to start.”

Max barely glances at his own menu before shaking his head. “I’ll just have a whiskey neat.”

Your face falls slightly at his brusque response. “Are you sure? These all look so good! We should live a little and try something fun for once.”

He fixes you with a stern look from across the table. “You know I don’t like frilly drinks. Now stop pestering me about it.”

Chastened by his harsh tone, you lapse into a wounded silence and continue reading the menu with diminished enthusiasm. A few moments later, a dapper middle-aged gentleman in a crisp suit appears at your table.

“Good evening, and welcome to The Sazerac Room. My name is William and I’ll be your server this evening.” With a polite smile, he produces a notepad from his breast pocket. “May I start you off with something to drink?”

You glance back at Max, giving him one last chance to change his mind. When he simply gazes back at you impassively, you sigh. “I’ll have the La Vie en Rose cocktail, please.”

William jots down your order before turning to Max expectantly.

“Whiskey neat,” Max says flatly. “Redbreast 27 Year, if you have it.”

“An excellent choice, sir.” William makes a note. “And may I bring you both some bread from our bakery while you decide on your meals?”

“That would be wonderful, thank you,” you reply gratefully.

William departs to place the drink orders, leaving you and Max alone once more. An awkward silence stretches between you, filled only by the tinkle of silverware and murmurs of conversation from surrounding tables.

Finally, you try again. “Max, are you sure I can’t tempt you with one little sip? This La Vie en Rose cocktail sounds absolutely divine. You might lov-”

“For fuck’s sake!” Max suddenly explodes, slamming his menu down on the table hard enough to rattle the cutlery. “How many times do I have to tell you I don’t want any of your ridiculous fruity bullshit? I’m a fucking race car driver, not some ridiculous Instagram model trying to look pretty with my drink.”

His nostrils flare as he leans across the table, eyes flashing with irritation that you would dare continue to push the issue. “I’ve had a long fucking day and I am going to drink whatever the fuck I want. So order your stupid fucking girly cocktail if you must, but don’t act so goddamn disappointed and keep shoving it in my face when I say no.”

You shrink back in your chair, eyes widening with hurt at his enraged outburst. The crestfallen look on your face is enough to douse Max’s fury like a bucket of ice water. He slumps back, remorse already stirring as he witnesses the light dimming in your eyes, lips trembling ever so slightly as you blink back sudden tears.

“I … I was just excited to try something new together,” you whisper shakily. “But never mind. You’re right, I’m sorry.”

The arrival of William with a basket of assorted breads and your glittering pink cocktail garnished with raspberries provides a merciful distraction from the tension.

You immediately reach for the drink, wrapping your hands around the delicate stemmed glass and taking a large gulp — both to avoid making eye contact with Max and to sample your coveted libation.

A look of bliss softens your features as the tart, sugary concoction bursts across your taste buds. “Mmm, this is incredible!”

For a beat, Max can’t help but drink in your look of pure enjoyment — the way your eyes flutter closed in delight, pink lips quirking into a contented smile as you savor each sip. It simultaneously tugs at his heartstrings and fills him with an irrational stab of resentment.

Here you are, sweet and radiant, able to find joy in the simplest of things … while he is just a miserable bastard who can’t let himself enjoy anything without getting irrationally angry.

You deserve so much better than him.

The thought is sobering and he feels shame burn hot in his gut. Unconsciously, his shoulders slump as he watches you take another euphoric sip of your cocktail.

“I knew it, this is amazing,” you sigh happily, seemingly recovered from his earlier tantrum as you bask in the deliciousness of your drink. “Max, you have to try just one little-”

“No.” The refusal is automatic, the word slicing through your offer before he can think better of it.

Your face shutters once more, the bright light in your eyes dimming as your smile fades into resignation. With a soft exhale, you set your glass down and reach for the bread basket instead.

“Suit yourself, then.”

As you silently butter a roll, Max finds himself at a rare loss, anger dissipating into regret as the knot in his stomach tightens painfully. Tonight was supposed to be a celebration after his impressive win on the track, a chance for the two of you to enjoy each other’s company and make more happy memories together.

Instead, he’s gone and ruined the mood … again … just like he always does.

***

“Another round?” Checo’s voice cuts through the sound of laughter and chatter around the table.

Max glances up distractedly from pushing the remaining bits of food around his plate. He, Checo, and a few other members of the Red Bull team are celebrating a successful Monaco Grand Prix. Despite making the podium, Max’s mind hasn’t really been on the festivities.

“I’m all set, thanks,” he mutters, raising his glass of whiskey with a tight smile before taking a sip. His gaze drifts across the opulent dining room of Cipriani Monte Carlo, idly scanning the crowd of wealthy patrons enjoying their evening meals.

That’s when his eyes catch on a shockingly familiar figure.

You.

Sitting at an intimate corner table, bathed in the soft glow of a candle’s flickering flame. For a moment, Max’s breath catches in his throat as a thousand bittersweet memories assault him all at once.

The hurt look on your face that night at The Sazerac Room … the resignation in your eyes as you accepted, yet again, that he would never be able to appreciate the sweet, simple pleasures that brought you such joy ...

The cold, empty silence that descended over your apartment when he finally left for good, stuffing his belongings into a duffel bag as you watched with trembling lips from across the room ...

Max blinks, and the moment passes — but his gaze remains riveted to your table. Because there, sitting across from you with adoration written across his insufferable face … is Toto Wolff.

Max feels his lips curl into an unconscious sneer as the Mercedes team principal murmurs something to you with a gentle smile, reaching across to delicately brush a lock of hair behind your ear. You catch Toto’s hand as it falls, pressing a tender kiss into his palm that makes the older man’s expression soften even further.

Your waiter arrives then, providing a momentary distraction as he lays out a couple of fresh cocktails on crisp white linen — a bright purple concoction garnished with a sugared rim and a plump cherry for you and an amber-hued old fashioned for Toto.

Your eyes light up as you take in the colorful beverage, immediately wrapping your hands around the delicate stemmed glass and bringing it to your lips to sample. A look of pure delight crosses your features as the no doubt sugary drink bursts across your taste buds.

“Mmm ...” you hum in pleasure, causing Toto to chuckle affectionately as he watches you enjoy the first reveling sips.

Setting your glass down, you gesture enthusiastically toward it as you address Toto. “This is incredible! You have to try it.”

Without hesitation, the Mercedes team boss dutifully leans across the table to take a long pull from your straw. Max watches with a mixture of disgust and morbid fascination as Toto’s expression morphs into one of surprised enjoyment.

“Wow, that is quite good, isn’t it?” Toto remarks with an indulgent grin, licking a telltale dab of purple syrup from the corner of his mouth.

“I told you!” You crow in delight, eyes sparkling with unrestrained glee.

The pure joy radiating from you in that moment is enough to make Max’s heart clench in his chest. He has seen that look before, so many times — whenever he deigned to let go of his surly demeanor for even a moment and actually indulge whatever fleeting whim or simple pleasure you desired to share with him.

But it was always so short-lived with him, stamped out by his own stubborn refusal to truly embrace anything resembling happiness or frivolity. You deserved so much more than his constant scowling and gruff rebuffs.

As if reading his thoughts, Toto then leans across the table to tenderly capture your lips in a soft, lingering kiss. The gentle intimacy of it makes Max’s gut churn as a feeling too complicated to fully unpack blossoms in his chest.

When you finally part, both of you are smiling at each other with such open, unguarded adoration that it’s almost obscene to witness. Toto reaches out to cradle your face in his palm as your lips find his once more in another chaste, loving caress.

This time, when you pull away, you let your head loll back with a look of pure bliss. Something deep within Max cracks and splinters at the sight. In a haze, he finds himself drifting back through the churning currents of memory ...

… that last, fateful shouting match in your living room, both of you red-faced and furious as the dam holding back all the anger and resentment and accusations that had been building for months finally burst ...

… you weeping silently as you clutched a meager trash bag containing what little remained of his belongings, not even able to look at him for fear of collapsing completely ...

… “I’m too sweet for you, Max. You’ve made that perfectly clear.”

The acid words burn in his mind even now, feeling as fresh and raw as that night they were spat out like venom between you. His chest constricts as his gaze falls guiltily back to the present day scene in front of him.

Toto and you, basking in the warm, rosy glow of new love — careless and unrestrained in your public affection. Delighting in each other’s company and simple pleasures … just as you always desired for Max to do, yet he could never fully surrender to.

The display is like a twisted mirror, taunting him with the vibrant reflection of what he threw away. What he was too foolish, too emotionally stunted and uncaring to fully appreciate at the time.

Stumbling from his chair in a daze, Max barely registers the questioning looks and concerned murmurs from his team as he staggers from the dining room. He hardly makes it to the privacy of the restroom before bending at the waist, hefting the contents of his stomach into the thankfully pristine porcelain basin.

The whiskey burns on the way back up.

Max grips the edges of the counter, face contorted in anguish as a realization washes over him in searing waves.

You were the real prize all along … and now, he’s lost you for good.

My coffee black

The drone of announcements over the PA system and the dull roar of hundreds of people bustling to and fro mingles into an ever-present white noise hum. Max trudges ahead, the brim of his ball cap tugged low as he weaves through the teeming crowds filing through the airports’ terminals.

It’s just after 5 am, the start of another grueling race week. This time the travel will take you from the Middle Eastern leg of the circuit to the other side of the world in Australia. Twenty-plus hours of planes, layovers, and jet lag beckon — a prospect that grows less and less appealing with each passing season.

A warm weight presses against his side as you shuffle along beside him, head lolling adorably as you struggle to keep your eyes open. One slender hand is looped through the crook of his elbow, gripping the strap of your carry-on bag with the other. You let out a jaw-cracking yawn, leaning into Max’s solid bulk.

“I need coffee,” you mumble groggily. “I’m barely conscious.”

He shoots you a sidelong glance, mouth quirking ever-so-slightly at your dramatics. As grating as your tendency for excessive cheerfulness can be at times, he does admire your ability to shake off the fatigue and stress that plagues him more and more these days.

“There’s one of those chains up ahead,” he grunts, nodding toward the familiar logo peeking through from around the corner.

You light up immediately, straightening and quickening your shuffling steps in anticipation of the caffeinated boost soon to come. By the time you reach the counter, there’s a bright spark back in your eyes that makes the exhaustion plaguing Max’s own limbs feel slightly more bearable.

The barista, a pimple-faced youth who can’t be any older than 18, greets you with a too-wide smile. “Welcome to Daily Grind! What can I get started for you?”

You lean in eagerly, surveying the massive display of chalkboard signs advertising the latest sugar bombs and “coffee” concoctions designed to appease the basic palates of everyday people who wouldn’t know a good cup of joe if it slapped them across the face. Max scowls, already anticipating some ridiculously saccharine order.

“I’ll have a large cinnamon honey oat milk latte, please,” you chirp, as expected.

The barista marks down your request with a perky nod. “Excellent! And for you, sir?”

“Black coffee,” Max replies flatly. “Medium.”

Your brow furrows as you shoot him a quizzical look. “Just black coffee? Not even a splash of cream or anything?”

He shakes his head tersely, one hand already rummaging in his pocket for his wallet as the barista rattles off the total. “We’re in a rush as it is, and that sugary nonsense you ordered takes forever to make with all the fussy bullshit they do to it.”

You wince at his blunt assessment, shoulders slumping a bit in a way that makes a pang of guilt flicker through Max’s chest. He doesn’t mean to be so harsh … but sometimes it’s like the more considerate side of his nature has been ground away by years of constant training and calculating every single variable down to the most minute detail.

The poor kid working the register seems to shrink under the intensity of Max’s gruff demeanor. With shaky hands, he quickly processes the payment before stammering out your total. As you shuffle off to the side to wait for your orders, Max can’t help but keep picking.

“Honestly, I don’t know why you insist on ordering those stupid drinks that are 90% milk and trash,” he mutters, shooting you a disapproving look. “Barely any actual coffee at all.”

You frown, immediately hunching into yourself a bit as you cradle a handful of napkins against your chest. “It’s not like that coffee flavor isn’t there at all,” you argue meekly. “And I have to get some kind of caffeine boost to stay awake during all these flights and race weekends. I just … I don’t really like the taste of black coffee.”

Max scoffs loudly at that, shaking his head in open derision. “Sure, because drinking just regular black coffee like an adult would be too difficult. Instead you have to get your ‘caffeine boost’ from some tooth-rottingly sweet concoction that looks like something a child would order.”

The barista shifts uncomfortably behind the counter, clearly flustered by Max’s abrasive tone. Not that he cares — he’s been dealing with people gawking at him in public for years now. What does rub him the wrong way is the wounded look spreading across your delicate features, eyes dropping to stare dejectedly at the floor.

He opens his mouth to continue chiding you, but at that moment the barista appears with your drinks. The sweet, cinnamony aroma of your order hits Max’s nostrils like a slap in the face, making his nose wrinkle on instinct. You accept your oversized paper cup gratefully, hands automatically curling around the comforting warmth.

With visible enthusiasm, you bring the drink to your lips, unable to resist taking a sip despite the scalding temperature. Max tracks the minute changes in your expression — the slight widening of your eyes, the upward quirk of your lips into a smile of unalloyed contentment. Your lashes flutter closed on a quiet hum of blissful appreciation.

“Mmm … heaven,” you practically moan, hunching over your cup as though to better inhale the revitalizing notes of sugar and spice.

It makes Max want to retch, watching you so unashamedly indulging in such vapid, artificial flavors. How can you find such simple-minded pleasure in that, when you could be savoring the bold, robust notes of a proper cup of black coffee? One meant to awaken the senses and caress the taste buds with its smoky aroma and rich, nuanced flavor notes.

“You can’t honestly get any enjoyment from basically drinking hot milk and flavored syrups,” he mutters, sneering at the offensive beverage in your grasp.

In response, you simply shift closer to him until you’re pressed alongside his body. Your free hand snakes around his bicep, squeezing gently as you tilt your head back to gaze up at him imploringly. Exhaustion and hurt war openly with the angelic softness of your delicate features.

“Max … can’t you just let me enjoy this?” You plead in a low murmur. “It’s early, and we’ve got a long flight ahead.”

His jaw clenches stubbornly, unwilling to back down so easily. Caffeine and sleep deprivation have eroded his already thin sense of decorum.

“I’m just saying, drinking a syrupy dessert drink loaded with sugar and god knows what else isn’t doing you any favors. You might as well just stick to black coffee like a normal adult if you want to be awake and energized.”

The wounded look in your eyes deepens into something more somber and resigned. Slowly, you pull away from Max’s side until a noticeable distance stretches between your bodies. Something inside him shrivels at the loss of contact. Your slender fingers work feverishly at the cup’s lid until it pops off with a dull thunk.

Max stares blankly as you march over to the nearest trash can and upend the contents of your cup into the receptacle. You don’t even seem to hesitate — simply turn on your heel and hurl the now-empty cup in after the wasted drink. It clatters hollowly against the canister, mocking and empty.

When you turn back to face Max, the sight makes the now-lukewarm coffee sitting neglected in his own cup feels like a lead weight in his gut. Your arms are wrapped protectively around yourself, hunched against some unseen foe. Head bowed, you refuse to meet his gaze as you slowly make your way back over to where he stands rooted to the spot in stunned silence.

It’s only as you draw up beside him that Max notices the twin tear tracks striping your cheeks. Your chin remains stubbornly trembling, but you make no move to wipe at the tears now falling freely. Max’s chest constricts almost painfully at the sight of your misery, the guilt gnawing at him as the reality sets in.

He is the reason for it. His harsh, uncompromising tongue has wounded you in one of the cruelest ways once again. Too strict, too unyielding, too incapable of allowing even the smallest indulgences that bring you simple joy without sneering dismissal.

For several agonizing moments, the two of you stand in silence amid the milling crowds of travelers streaming past. Max can’t bring himself to meet your gaze, knowing he’ll only find the depths of his own callous thoughtlessness reflected back at him in your swimming eyes.

Finally, you release a shuddering sigh that sounds far too weighted for someone of your sweetness and light. When you speak, your voice is little more than a tremulous murmur laced with dejection.

“Let’s just go to the gate, Max.”

You brush past him without another word, leaving him to trail numbly in your wake as shame burns a hole through his gut. He watches as your form disappears into the throngs, shoulders already beginning to hunch inward as that spark of happiness in you gutters and fades.

Lingering behind, Max’s gaze falls to the empty cup lying crumpled and discarded in the trash. A reminder of yet another instance where his unchecked tongue and inability to empathize has spoiled an innocent attempt at simple pleasure.

His coffee suddenly tastes like ash on his tongue.

As he moves to dump the neglected drink into the nearby basin, Max wonders with a sinking feeling just how many more times he’ll be able to snuff out your light before it dwindles to nothing.

***

The late morning sun bears down with oppressive force, causing a mirage-like haze to shimmer over the sweltering asphalt of the paddock. Despite being early summer, the Spanish air is already thick and heavy enough to bathe Max’s skin in a sheen of perspiration as he trudges toward the Red Bull Energy Station.

Ahead, he spots a cluster of people milling aimlessly near the entrance to the Mercedes motorhome. At the center appears to be you, head tilted back in unrestrained laughter at something George Russell is regaling you with. The British driver is equally animated, pale features scrunched up in exaggerated motions as he relays what is no doubt an amusing tale.

Max feels his steps gradually slow of their own accord as he takes you in from a distance. You seem utterly at ease and in your element — cheeky grin splitting your face, one hand toying idly with the ends of your hair as your eyes crinkle with unbridled mirth.

A pure vision of effortless contentment.

His gut clenches unexpectedly, unbidden memories of how he methodically chipped away at that very lightness in you until it was all but extinguished washing over him in a nauseating wave. How quickly he took such simple joys for granted ...

So transfixed is he by the sight of your open, honest amusement that Max barely notices the figure slipping up behind you. Not until Toto Wolff raises a conspiratorial finger to his lips, eyes twinkling impishly as he pantomimes for silence at a sputtering George.

You remain oblivious even as the Mercedes team principal slides flush against your back, looping one arm around your waist to tug you snug against his chest. With his free hand, Toto cups it teasingly over your eyes — to which you release a tinkling peal of laughter.

“Guess who?” The playful lilt of the older man’s Austrian lilt is unmistakable, dripping with honeyed warmth.

“Hmm … I wonder,” you murmur coyly, making a show of tapping your chin in feigned confusion. “Is it a dashing gentleman caller here to sweep me off my feet?”

Toto chuckles deeply in your ear, the sound positively dripping with unguarded affection. “Only if you’ll have me, liebling.”

Craning your head back with a cheeky grin, your arms instinctively wind around his neck as you stretch up on your tiptoes to greet him properly. Toto meets your lips in a lingering, languid kiss that has George hastily clearing his throat and looking resolutely anywhere but at the affectionate display before him.

When you finally part, all radiant smiles and flushed cheeks, it’s like the rest of the world has completely fallen away. Toto gazes down at you with such pure adoration that Max feels his throat constrict as though a belt is suddenly cinched tight around it.

“I have a surprise for you, schnucki,” Toto murmurs huskily, lips brushing your temple as he speaks.

You light up like a kid on Christmas morning, practically vibrating with excitement at his words. “Oh? Do tell!”

With a wink and roguish smile, Toto brandishes his other hand from behind his back — in it, clutched protectively, is a large cup topped with whipped cream and what looks like edible flower petals sprinkled over the top. The light purple hue of the iced contents catches in the bright sun, refracting a prism of soft, delicate colors.

“I had the barista in our hospitality whip this up for you,” Toto explains fondly. “After I mentioned how much you enjoy trying unique coffee flavors. It’s a lavender vanilla iced latte.”

Your mouth drops open in a perfect ‘o’ of delight as you instinctively make grabby motions toward the tantalizing beverage. Max recognizes that earnest enthusiasm all too well. It’s the same look you used to get whenever presented with any unique taste or experience to appreciate.

A look he always met with disdain and scorn.

Toto doesn’t hesitate for a second before depositing the cup into your greedy hands. You immediately cradle it reverently, as though it’s the most precious thing you’ve ever held. Ducking your head, you take a long pull through the striped paper straw.

The expression that blossoms across your features as that first taste bursts over your tongue is one of pure, unadulterated bliss. Your eyes flutter closed on a muffled moan of sinful enjoyment, lips pursing as though savoring each individual note of flavor. Max hasn’t seen you look that unguardedly delighted by anything in … well, he can’t actually recall the last time.

“Oh Toto, this is heavenly!” You gush, swiping your tongue across your lower lip to catch a stray drop of condensation. “The lavender is subtle, but gives it such a uniquely fresh and floral twist. And the vanilla adds this creamy sweetness that keeps it from being overwhelming.”

You open your eyes to beam radiantly up at the older man, who returns your luminous smile with equal warmth. “It’s perfect, thank you! You have to try it.”

Without prompting, you eagerly offer the cup up to Toto. He accepts it with an indulgent chuckle, locking eyes with you as he takes a contemplative sip — no doubt eager to share in whatever fleeting moment of bliss the simple drink has brought you.

Unlike Max, who would have turned up his nose and likely received it with derision, Toto seems to savor the complex blend of flavors. Humming thoughtfully, he swipes his tongue across his upper lip as though committing each separate note to memory.

“You’re quite right, liebling,” he agrees readily, “this is delightful. So refreshing for this heat. I may have to acquire a taste for these iced coffees myself.”

You positively glow at his assessment, lighting up from within like a joyful little sun. Max is helpless before the storm of emotions suddenly ripping through him at the sight.

“Oh! That reminds me,” you chirp giddily, bouncing on the balls of your feet, “I was talking to the barista about maybe incorporating some other floral syrups for iced coffees too. Like rose or hibiscus! And maybe we could get her to try making those fun layered drinks with the espresso on the bottom-”

Toto’s deep belly laugh cuts off your stream of eager rambling. Without warning, he snakes an arm around your waist and tugs you flush against him once more. You let out a startled giggle as he buries his nose in the crook of your neck, lips brushing the feverish pulse point just beneath your jaw.

“You adorable thing,” he rumbles warmly, words slightly muffled against your skin as he presses a languid line of kisses along the sharp line of your jaw. “So enthusiastic about the simplest pleasures in life ...”

Pulling back, Toto lifts one hand to tenderly cradle the side of your face. You automatically nuzzle into his palm with a look of such smitten devotion that it makes Max’s heart stutter behind his ribcage. When Toto leans in to seal his lips over yours once more, the kiss is deep and thoroughly unhurried — as though the two of you have all the time in the world to savor this intimate little moment.

Max’s hands clench into white-knuckled fists, blunt nails biting crescent moons into his clammy palms. He should turn away, leave you to your blissful display with someone who so clearly appreciates you. Yet he remains rooted in place, unable to tear his eyes from the scene unfolding before him.

It’s like witnessing an alternate universe version of your shared lives play out in vivid, scorching detail.

In this reality, Toto is the one tenderly stroking the pad of his thumb over the elegant arch of your cheekbone as the two of you part, drinking in the sight of your passion-addled features hungrily. He is the one basking in the radiance of your bright and unrestrained joy. Celebrating each of your simple thrills, from the most frivolous of flavored coffees to the sensual graze of skin on skin.

And where does that leave Max? An outsider peering in at paradise with his face smeared against the glass, watching the warmth and affection he could never fully embrace slowly slip through his calloused fingers.

And my bed at three

The mattress shifts, the subtle movement rousing Max from his slumber. He cracks one eye open to find the space next to him empty, the sheets disheveled where you had lain.

A glance at the digital clock on the nightstand tells him it’s not yet 5 am. Where are you going at this hour?

He hears faint rustling from the living area of the hotel suite, followed by the soft click of the door. Groaning, he kicks off the covers and pads out of the bedroom, the plush carpet warm beneath his bare feet.

You’re sitting on the couch, slipping into a pair of flats. “What are you doing up so early?” He asks, his voice still husky from sleep.

You look up, startled. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” A soft smile plays on your lips. “I was going to watch the sunrise.”

Max rakes a hand through his tousled hair. “Why would you want to do that?”

“Because it’s beautiful.” Your eyes sparkle with an excitement he can’t comprehend this early in the morning. “The colors, the way the light slowly creeps over the horizon — it’s just magical.”

He snorts. “It happens every day. Nothing magical about it.”

Your face falls ever so slightly, and it tugs at something in his chest. But the feeling is fleeting, replaced by annoyance at having his sleep disturbed for something so trivial. “So you didn’t want to join me, then?” You ask, almost timidly.

“And wake up before the ass-crack of dawn? No thanks.” He flops onto the couch beside you with a huff. “I was up until 3 am sim racing. Not all of us find staring at the sky such riveting entertainment.”

You say nothing, simply nodding as you avert your gaze. The light in your eyes has dimmed, and he feels a pang of guilt. But he shakes it off — it’s far too early for this kind of whimsical nonsense.

“Suit yourself,” he mutters. “I’m going back to bed.”

He doesn’t see the way your shoulders droop as he turns and trudges back towards the bedroom. Doesn’t see the tears that prick at the corners of your eyes before you blink them away and readjust the set of your jaw with determination.

Max burrows under the covers, fully intent on drifting back into oblivion. But sleep evades him, his mind buzzing with a peculiar restlessness. He punches his pillow into a more suitable shape, flips it over to the cool side, but still he lies awake, listening to the silence that fills the suite.

After what feels like an eternity, curiosity gets the better of him. He kicks off the covers once more and pads over to the floor-to-ceiling windows that overlook the city street below. Sure enough, there you are, a tiny figure perched on a bench across the way, your face tipped up towards the slowly lightening sky.

Max leans his forehead against the cool glass, watching as the inky blackness of night gives way to soft shades of periwinkle and lilac. Slowly, the colors deepen into blazing pinks and vibrant oranges that streak across the heavens. The sky ignites in a brilliant blaze of crimson and gold, the clouds set afire by the rising sun.

And there you sit, bathed in the dawn’s ethereal glow, utterly transfixed. In this light, your features seem softer, more at peace than he’s seen you in a long while. A smile plays on your lips, genuine and unguarded, as you take in the spectacle unfolding before you.

Max finds himself holding his breath, as if the slightest movement might shatter the magic of this moment. He’s never seen you look more beautiful, more alive than in these fleeting minutes as day breaks over the city.

A rare pang of tenderness blooms in his chest, quickly overshadowed by a creeping sense of unease. He isn’t certain how much time has passed before the brilliant hues fade into the pale blue of morning, but eventually you rise from the bench, taking one last, lingering look at the sky before turning and disappearing from view.

Max exhales slowly, his breath fogging up the glass. He isn’t proud of how he dismissed your simple joy, that spark of wonderment at the little things that he so often takes for granted.

An emptiness settles in the pit of his stomach, the guilt heavier than before. How many other moments has he trampled on in his relentless pursuit of success?

He thinks of your radiant smile, how it lit up the pre-dawn gloom more vibrantly than the sunrise itself. With a sigh, Max turns away from the window, already dreading the apology he knows he owes you.

Because in that single, breathtaking moment, he realizes just how lucky he is to have someone like you in his life. Someone who can find magic in the mundane, beauty in the simple things he’s become blind to along the way.

Someone, Max fears, who may be too sweet for him.

***

Max gives up on sleep around 4:30 am, as he has for the past several weeks. Insomnia has become his constant, unwanted companion, leaving him tossing and turning until the first hints of dawn creep through the curtains. On nights like this, slumber remains persistently out of reach no matter how exhausted he feels.

He lies in bed, staring at the ceiling as the brightening sky slowly illuminates the room. It wasn’t always this way — he used to be able to sleep like the dead after a race weekend, knocked out by the physical and mental exertion. But lately, his mind refuses to shut off, thoughts swirling endlessly until his head pounds.

With a groan, Max kicks off the tangled sheets and drags himself out of bed. Maybe going for a run will quiet the racket in his brain, at least for a little while. He dresses quickly, lacing up his trainers and grabbing his earbuds before heading out into the semi-darkness.

The pre-dawn streets are blissfully empty as he starts off at an easy jog. He despises becoming one of those obnoxious morning people, but exhaustion has a way of stripping away one’s self-respect. If pounding the pavement before the rest of the world awakes is what it takes to catch a few hours of sleep, so be it.

His route takes him along the harbor, the gentle lapping of the waves against the seawall providing a soothing soundtrack. The first rays of sunlight glint off the glassy surface, and he finds himself averting his gaze, oddly resentful of the impending sunrise.

It wasn’t so long ago that he scoffed at your eagerness to greet each new day. But ever since you’ve been gone from his life, those brilliant, fleeting moments of beauty have begun to mock him at every turn.

He picks up his pace, as if he can outrun the rising sun and the flood of memories it brings. But there’s no escaping the vivid flashes of you, smiling radiantly as the world awakes in a blaze of fiery hues. Or the hollow ache that twinges somewhere beneath his rib cage whenever he’s reminded of just how little he appreciated you.

So lost is he in his circling thoughts that he nearly runs right into you, appearing abruptly on the path ahead. His trainers skid against the pavement as he grinds to a halt, his heart stammering in his chest.

“Max?” You blink up at him, clearly startled by his sudden presence.

He opens his mouth, an automatic apology rising to his lips — until his eyes zero in on the camera clutched in your hands. Of course. Still chasing sunrises after all these years.

A wry grin tugs at the corner of your mouth as you take in his rumpled running attire. “Fancy meeting you here.”

Max says nothing, his gaze flickering briefly towards the brightening horizon before fixing on you once more. You look … well, radiant as ever, lit by the soft morning glow. A small pang of something — longing, maybe — twists in his gut.

“Out enjoying another sunrise, I see,” he says at last, nodding towards the camera.

You glance down at it fondly. “Well, you know how it is. I have to capture them while I can.” A teasing lilt edges into your voice. “Not all of us are night owls.”

He huffs out a humorless laugh. “I’ll never understand what’s so fascinating about watching the same thing happen day after day.”

“But that’s just it — each one is different. Unique and fleeting and … breathtaking.” Your eyes spark with that gentle wonderment he remembers so well, the sight sending a tremor through his chest. “Like getting a front row seat to the greatest show on Earth, but it’s one you’ll never see again.”

You trail off with a small shake of your head, seemingly at a loss to put the feeling into words. Max doesn’t need the explanation — he’s seen that look of childlike awe on your face more times than he can count.

An awkward silence stretches between you, laden with the weight of history and unspoken apologies. You shift your stance, mouth opening as if to say something more.

But Max cuts you off before you can get the words out, unable to bear whatever sentiments might cross those sweet lips of yours. “Toto not joining you this time?” He asks gruffly.

Your expression softens into a fond smile, and it’s like a physical blow to Max’s sternum. He knows that look, has been on the receiving end of it more times than he cares to remember. The way your entire being seems to brighten when you so much as think about someone you love.

“Ah, you know Toto — he’s more of a sunset person,” you say with a light laugh. “I’ve never been able to drag his grumpy butt out of bed for a sunrise.”

Even as his insides curdle with jealousy, Max can’t help the quirk of his lips at the mental image. He could all too easily picture Toto swatting irritably at you, burrowing deeper under the covers to escape the blasted sun.

“But we make it work,” you continue, that loving glow refusing to dim from your eyes. “I take photos of the sunrise to share with him later. And he does the same with the sunsets for me. That way, we both get to experience it in a way.”

The gentle sound of your voice washes over Max like a salve, momentarily easing the tangled knot of regret and longing that’s taken up permanent residence inside him. He watches, transfixed, as the early morning light bathes you in ethereal radiance.

In that moment, he sees it so clearly — the depth of give and take in your relationship with Toto. The effort, large and small, that you both put into nurturing one another’s happiness.

Even when your desires don’t perfectly align. Even when compromise is required.

It’s such a simple gesture, capturing those magical moments to share with your loved one. But it’s one Max was never willing to make when you were with him.

A lump forms in his throat as realization washes over him with unforgiving clarity. You weren’t too sweet for him, as he had so arrogantly assumed time and again. No — the truth, much harder to swallow, is that he was simply too sour for you.

Too selfish, too wrapped up in his own ambitions to make even the smallest concession. Too blind to recognize the magic in the simple things that brought you unbridled joy. Too bitter and jaded to embrace and nurture the beautiful nature that made you … well, you.

And now, after all his careless cruelties and wasted chances, he can only stand idly by and watch as someone else basks in the sweetness of your affection. As someone else goes out of their way, day after day, to put that blinding smile on your face and those stars in your eyes.

Something in Max’s chest cracks and crumbles at the injustice of it all. At the agonizing truth that he let the best thing in his life slip through his fingers, all because he couldn’t be bothered to change his sullen ways.

Because you were never too sweet for him … he was too sour for you.

— good guys could never | p.sh

synopsis: It's friday night, the night where people get loose after a hell ass week. As usual, there's a party at your brothers house, the same time you and park sunghoon, one of your brother's friend, have your own little party inside your room or... inside you.

pairings: older brother's friend!sunghoon x fem!reader warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT having sex while there's a party, fucking your brother's friend, bed slamming through the wall, mouth covering, unprotected sex (WRAP IT UP!), exhibition, one leg up, two leg up, dirty talk, calling names, sex against the wall (🤭), asshole sunghoon, y/n getting stars and tears in her eyes, y/n getting dumb from cock (sunghoon's cock) so she requested something 😬, this story becomes kind of dark at the last part, ngl. let me know what you think.

It's friday night, people wants to relax and have fun — getting the toxicity of the past week out your system. That's just what the fun people do. But, for you... you prefer a different type of detox just like a tradition for other passing friday nights.

You can clearly hear the loud music and laugh from the people downstairs even though it was muffled from how your room is located at the third floor which is off limits for the outsiders. In addition to that, the only sounds you can hear are the hard pouncing of your bed on the walls and the vibration of groans coming from the man behind who's currently rutting his hardened cock inside you, bareback.

"Fuck... Sunghoon..." You whimpered, eyes glistens trying to look at him over your left shoulder, who just moaned in return. He's hitting it deep, continuously hitting that spot deliciously that made you a moaning mess. He grabs your neck, squeezing it hard enough to put the right pressure before biting your shoulder softly that added to your pleasure causing you to squeeze him tight.

"Roll on your back..." He quietly said that you immediately did without complaining. His cock still inside when you did so.

"Th-there" You whimper when sunghoon thrust again. "You're s-so thick..."

Sunghoon groans, before you feel him whispering in your ears, pace still unweaving. "You're squeezing me... tight" You were about to moan when he put his hands over your mouth, still thrusting inside. "How does it feel to be a dumb slut from a cock? from my cock, huh?"

You whimpered, not even thinking about answering that question. The only thing in your mind right now is how fucking good you feel. How sunghoon's cock got the thickness and length you need to hit all the spots.

"You like this..." He whispered. You felt his hot breath as he chuckled on your ears, still rutting his cock deep inside. "From the moment you caught me having sex with some girls on the guest room, you imagined me fucking you so good with my cock."

"Wishing it was you who will feel my length in here, stuffing your pussy just the way you like..." You felt his hands trace your lower abdomen, pushing it down slightly earning him a scream of pleasure from you.

Sunghoon's pace picked up, "You're such a slut." Your legs automatically opened up more, accommodating his trust even deeper inside you. If you were wet earlier, now, you're practically a waterfalls.

"Poor chan... didn't know his sweet baby sister is just a slut in a good girls clothing." He cooed locking his eyes on your glistening ones. "The one who'll let her brother's friend to have his way on her. One that will do everything just for me to touch her"

And as soon as that words leave out of his mouth, so is the feeling of his cock inside you. "Come here" He demanded standing not far from your bed.

You immediately stand up, walking in front of him as sunghoon welcomed you with a dirty kiss on the lips. You instantly melt from the way his tongue gently explore your cavern. Sunghoon felt that, smirking in between the kiss before pushing you onto the wall, trapping you in between with his body.

"I've never been the good guy, y/n. You should know that" You felt him raising your leg onto his shoulder causing you to hook your arms on his neck, practically doing vertical split as slam his hardened dick inside. "Besides, good guys could never fuck you this good"

"Fuck, so hot" He groaned pulling you into a messy kiss as his thrust got faster, his right hand busy with the cheeks of your ass while the other one playing with your nipples. You moaned into the kiss when sunghoon flicks it. Fuck, feels so good.

"So, perfect huh? Can't believe your pussy still squeezing me tight after having me inside for a long time."

"Su-sunghoon"

"Yes, call my name slut."

He chuckled hooking his arms on your other leg that still supporting you before raising it together with the other one. "Oh, fuck" You cursed, when you felt his tip sliding deeper inside.

"Oh, fu-fuck hoon" Both of your feet on his shoulder, trusting into you his pace unrelenting. The wall behind gives much support that he needed, sunghoon trapped you to where he wanted you to be. Where you belonged.

"Shit, tight as fuck. You're too tight for your own good, y/n."

"I'm close..." You moaned loudly not caring if someone will hear. You don't care at all. The sound of slapping of wet skins filled your room, so is the filthy wet sounds and curses coming from you and sunghoon.

"Don't come untill I told you to." He doesn't need to say it. There's a threat in his tone and you knew better than to try your luck. "Gotta take what I give, darling" Your eyes dart on his which is now doing the same too. His thrusts are still unwavering... deep, hard, and it was making your head spin. But, there's something on his eyes that makes you feel more than what you possibly should have.

It didn't took long when you felt his dick twitch inside. "Come for me" And you gladly do so as his thrust gets erratic, groaning onto your neck as you shivers feeling your walls be painted with thick white lines. Your hands on his neck slowly losing their support from the intensity. But then sunghoon keeps you on your position, but now with your legs safely secured around his waist, his dick still not leaving inside you.

You let him though. It was a good feeling, having him still stuffed inside you. It made you shiver when he walked towards you bed with you still on his waist. His dick thrusting softly inside you as he walk.

Sunghoon laid you to your bed, and was about to pull out when you stopped him silently.

He smirked, "what does my dumb slut want?"

"Fuck me again, please. Fuck me when I do my homeworks, fuck me when I'm in the showers, fuck me on my sleep, overstimulate me... i don't care. Just fuck me again, sunghoon"

Sunghoon's eyes darkened, his black hair falling perfectly on his eyes adding to the shadow that didn't failed to make you shiver not on fear but from being turned on. You can tell he was turned on by your thoughts. He just have to pull your strings. "I don't like the tone of your voice, darling"

"I'm sorry bu—"

"But, who am i to decline that right?"

You exhaled locking your teary eyes on him as his cock slowly thrusting again, stimulating your sensitive whole. Both of you cursed under your breath, "fuck me dumb that the only thing i can think of is your cock, sunghoon."

"But, what if your brother catch us? Don't you care about your brother anymore?"

"I don't care... I don't. The only thing I want is you, please" You whispered trying to keep your eyes open to look straight at sunghoon but the pleasure you're feeling is making it hard to do so.

You need him to swallow you. To possess you. To own you, you don't even care anymore.

"Hmm, let me think about that..." He replied looking down at your fucked up face like a predator having fun with his own prey.

He had you where he needs you. He successfully turn you into what he wants. It's not an accident when you saw him having sex with other girls. That's only one of the many traps sunghoon planted to make you come around. And, you did come around. Oh, you come around so good you didn't even have the idea. Besides, he's never been the good guy.

© hrdenha | 2024

I will just pretend this doesn’t exist, sad ending 🔛🔝

✈︎ no it’s not

How could your forever be done when it barely started?

pt 2 of ‘our forever is done’

pairing : ex!sunghoon x fem!reader

warning + genre : light angst. second chances. miscommunication. hints of depression. swearing. happy ending. fluff. lots of crying from Sunghoon. exes x ???. riki is a menace.

wc : 3.6k

feat : yang jungwon. kim sunoo. lee heeseung. nishimura riki.

You stood still in front of your mirror, eyes nothing but a void of who you’ve been running from. Your unfamiliar eyes blinked once, twice, then a third time before the blur faded. They traveled down your face in an unstable line, pupil contracting against the bright light shining above you.

They momentarily stopped at your neck, your bare neck. A weird feeling crept in through the cracks in your heart, blossoming at the base of your neck. Ever since Sunghoon came into your life your neck had always adored a charm necklace, filled with whatever charms Sunghoon stumbled across. It varied from two skates, one for each of your sports, to his last names’ initial. A proud “P” standing in the center of it all, a beautiful exhibition of his love for you, his lasting love.

But like a tide it washed up as time passed. Sunghoon’s presence faded in your life in tune with the charm necklace you’d buried in an abandoned drawer, filled with the rest of his empty promises.

Your matching sweaters, matching shoes, matching jewelry, and his crumpled love letters. You wanted to burn it all, burn it until there was nothing but ash left. You’ve tried, you really did. After some convincing from your best friends you were able to assemble it all in a heaping pile outside, in the exact spot you laid curled in Sunghoon’s arms watching a fire burn just days before. Maybe you should've seen it coming, the unforgiving flames brushing against your skin once again.

The second you dropped the match, the second the heat left your fingertips you went tumbling. Hands rapidly patting at the fire that touched the smallest bit of wood. You hated how relieved you were, how your back slouched down as the grass tickled your neck. The sky shone down at you like every other day, whimpering apologies spilling from your mouth like sparks. At the time you didn't know who you were apologizing to, but there was nothing else to do but to let them ignite on your tongue. The charm necklace was laid still on your neck, witnessing the destruction of what was thought to be shared love. That was the last time you’d worn it, last time you’d had something around your neck.

A quiet banging came from your apartment's front door, echoing louder than it usually did. Without Sunghoon here your apartment felt empty, it was almost quieter than it was the day you moved in. It quickly dawned onto you that you were alone again. Sunghoon was always with you, you'd never thought there'd be a time where you'd have to learn to live without him again, alone.

Without wasting another second you began walking towards your door, absentmindedly walking without a care for anything around you. Usually you’d ignore the door knowing Sunghoon would answer it for you, claiming that it kept you safer because whoever it was would think that he lived there, not a girl in her early twenties. You pulled open the door wide, carelessly opening it without checking who it was.

Heeseung sucked in a sharp breath at your actions, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked at the door in disbelief. He shared eye contact with Sunoo whose expression mirrored his perfectly. “You shouldn't open the door without checking who it was first”. Jungwon ignored their words and casually walked between the two and stopped in front of you, widely smiling at you in a greeting. “Shit, Sunghoon would kill me if he knew I made her open the door” Sunoo lightly nudged against Heeseung as he carelessly spoke the name of his friend, both pausing to gauge your reaction only to frown as you soulessly stood staring at Jungwon.

Jungwon’s smile stayed the same as you stared through him, the pain numbing his chest. “I missed you” He said quietly, smile still kissing his lips as you stayed silent. His hands lightly reached out to touch your shoulder, the touch bringing you to life. The three of them watched as you blinked then did a 360°, a small happy expression filling your face.

And for once it was genuine, you were actually really excited to see the three of them. It’d been a few weeks since you’d seen them, ever since you'd broken up with Sunghoon. “Oh, you guys are here” The sudden change slightly threw them off guard but they were still too hesitant to ask you about it. You smiled back at Jungwon, arms wrapping around his shoulders as you rested your head against his. A serene feeling travelled up from your waist as his hands wrapped around you, a small sigh leaving his lips as his eyes closed in your comfort.

You’d known Jungwon for your whole life, meeting as children after joining the same hockey team. He was your closest friend until you met your new close circle and he joined Sunghoon’s. “Okay my turn” Sunoo lightly grabbed Jungwon’s arm from around your waist, side eyeing the younger boy in mock disgust. “I missed you the most”. He spoke loud enough for everyone to hear, a loud tsk leaving the mouth of the youngest. Heeseung who still stood at the door finally realized that it was still open and leaned over to close it, as he was closing it he noticed a pair of men’s shoes sitting beside your own and froze. His eyes widened as his chest convulsed, his mind went straight to Sunghoon who refused to leave his apartment, unwarranted rage filled him the longer he thought about the possibilities.

“Um I forgot I had a private lesson today, I need to go” He gave you a tight lipped smile, eyes not meeting your own. Without another word he opened the door and left, accidentally slamming it on his way out. Without anyone knowing he was already speed walking out from your hall, shaky hands pulling out his phone and pressing on one of the pinned contacts. He was sent to voicemail the first time he tried, loud curses falling from his mouth as he attempted to call again.

After a few beeps he finally heard the lines connecting, “hello?” he tried after Sunghoon’s side stayed silent. “Hey” Sunghoon breathlessly said, his voice shaking as he spoke. Heeseung could tell that Sunghoon was crying, having heard this tone more than enough times this month. His anger grew, thoughts about you having a guy over only a month after your breakup, only a month after leaving Sunghoon. “She has a guy over” Heeseung could hear Sunghoon suck in a shaky breath, his breathing coming out in shorter intervals. “What?”

“There was a pair of shoes by her door, in the spot where you kept yours” Heeseung kept talking, his voice portraying exactly how he was feeling. After about three minutes of receiving nothing but silence he pulled the phone away from his ear in confusion, only to see that it was disconnected. “Shit” He swore out loud, head throwing back in frustration.

Back in your apartment you were talking with the other two on your couch, a small glass of ice water clutched between your hands. “I was wondering why you looked so different,” Jungwon hummed, his eyes scanning you until they reached your empty neck. A loud gasp left his lips as his hand shot up to point at you, “You're not wearing your charm necklace” you just gave him a thumbs up, which resulted in him speaking up again. “Or your rings” his gaze traveled up your arm, “Or your bracelets” he trailed off, looking over to see Sunoo glaring at him.

“Yeah, didn't need them anymore” You trailed off as your hand subconsciously came up to trace a faint P around where your necklace used to sit. The boys noticed your attention fading away, eyes staring into an empty space between the chair you were on and the couch where they sat.

The sound of a door creaking open made the two of them jump, confusion brewing as a loud yawn filled the air. “Y/n I forgot my bag in my car so i’ll just borrow yours” Sunoo casted Jungwon a panicked look after the manly voice called out for you from the end of the hall. Jungwon’s entire body froze as he glanced between you and the hallway where they heard the random person call out to you.

“Y/n?” Sunoo’s voice broke your haze, a quiet hum of acknowledgment leaving your lips. At his silence you looked back up at him, eyebrows furrowing as the amount of emotion flashing behind his eyes, “Um not to like make assumptions or anything but do you seriously have a guy over” Both yours and Sunoo’s attention went towards Jungwon, whose eyes widened the second the words left his mouth, “Not that you owe anyone anything! Like you're single now and can do whatever you want” he trailed off, lip pulling into his mouth, “Maybe just don't let Sunghoon find out”

As if the call of his name summoned him, Sunghoon came barreling into your apartment, still clad in his pajamas and the slippers matching the ones in the drawer in your room. His eyes were bloodshot red, mirroring the same reds that fell from the passing sunsets and kissed his delicate cheeks in desperation- in hope that it was all a miscommunication, that you still loved him in the same way he will always love you.

Your body shot straight up, feet stumbling as you rose to a stand. You all watched in shock as he rapidly looked around the room, eyes searching every corner in the room. Rage consumed him as his eyes made contact with a pair of shoes sitting exactly where Heeseung told him, it sent him spiraling. His mind ran like a broken clock, only one question remaining in his head long enough for him to spit it out with distaste. “Who the hell is here?”

To say you were thrown off was an understatement because what the hell is your ex, Park Sunghoon, the man who lied to you throughout your entire relationship, who built your love on the ruins of his fabrications, doing in your apartment seemingly accusing you of something he lost the power to many weeks ago. “Excuse me?” The shock was apparently extremely evident in your words, which only angered the taller man even more.

“You’re cheating on me?” His voice cracked, hands coming up to rest around the back of his neck for stabilization. Your jaw dropped at his words, a bitter chuckle leaving your mouth in disbelief, “Cheating? Sunghoon, we’ve been broken up for a few weeks now”.

His hands fell from his neck, eyes moving up from the unknown shoes to stare into your eyes, his entire world freezing as he traced your face. Even when you’re at your worst, he still thought you were the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. Your wide eyes staring into his, not a single ounce of love visible. His heart hurt, hurt for what he did to you, hurt for what he did for your future. Before he could respond he heard the door of your room opening, his jaw clenching as his eyes narrowed.

Without another second Sunghoon began marching down your hallway, straight towards the unsuspecting boy coming out of your room. Jungwon and Sunoo both jumped to their feet after they saw where he was going, both running behind him.

The man in your doorway paused, the towel that he was using to dry his hair went limp on his hair as his fingers froze. His wide eyes flickered between Sunghoon, the two boys holding onto his arms, and you leaning against the wall at the end of the hallway. Sunghoon didn't recognize the boy through his poisoned vision and tried to jump at him only to be pulled back by his arms by the two boys holding him.

You rolled your eyes as you watched Sunghoon scream at the innocent boy who was rapidly trying to explain himself, arms wrapped around himself as he flinched with every movement that Sunghoon made. “Y/N HELP” The boy with the towel still on his head screamed as Sunghoon managed to wiggle one arm free.

You calmly walked up to the four of them, standing in front of the boy who called for your help with a loud huff. “Great, now you’re protecting him” Sunghoon scoffed as he freed himself, arms crossing over his chest as he continued burning holes into the man cowering behind you.

“Sunghoon, what are you talking about?” You incredulously questioned, facial expressions pulling up to express your emotions clearly. Sunghoon’s face softened as his looked back at you, even after he was hurt by you he still couldn’t gaze at you with anything but love.

“Baby- fuck sorry, Y/n” He quietly swore as he shook his head, lips pulling up as his eyes screwed closed, “Y/n, are you doing this to punish me? Being without you was enough, stop torturing me”

Everyone in the room looked at eachother, all holding the same face of disbelief. The tall boy behind you stepped back into your room, “damn, lil bro thinks he’s all that” he spoke a bit too loud which prompted Sunghoon to jump at him again. “Riki, shut up” the tall boy, who was now identified as Riki, let out a loud scream as he slammed the door closed.

Sunghoon tried to pry the door open to no avail since Riki locked it from the inside, “shit, lost your girl and you can’t even get me. That’s real tragic man." It was like Riki was asking to get his neck twisted by Sunghoon.

“Someone needs to call his mom” Sunoo now recognized the boy as the kid who lived next door. “Why‘s Riki here anyways? Doesn’t he live on his own next door?” Everyone was now looking at you for an explanation, Sunghoon unknowingly holding his breath.

“Yeah, he forgot his apartment keys at the gym yesterday so he came over to crash” Jungwon let out a loud ah, head nodding as he processed your words. “Why was he in your room?” Sunghoon still wasn’t fully convinced, his eyebrows pulled up as he stared at the locked door, “he’s not allowed in there”.

You quirked your face to the side, eyes challenging your ex, “oh yeah? I think I can have anyone I want in there, yanno since we’re over”

Sunghoon groaned out loud, turning his head to the side as he addressed the two boys standing behind him, “leave for a minute, I need to talk to Y/n” Sunoo tsked at his demand and grabbed Jungwon to pull him into the living room.

Sunghoon watched the two of them walk away, confirming that they were out of ear reach before turning back towards you. He opened his mouth to speak but a loud bang against the door behind you interrupted him. “Shit, that hurt” You both could hear Riki cursing from behind the door, giving away his spot.

“Fucking eavesdropper” Sunghoon complained loud enough for the younger to hear, and by the silence that followed he knew he heard him. You reached your hand out to wrap around Sunghoon’s, both your hearts racing at the contact.

Sunghoon quietly sighed in bliss, the feeling of your hand wrapped around his, giving him a euphoric feeling that he hasn’t felt since you’ve broken up. He allowed you to drag him, feet stumbling as his body weakened upon your touch.

The boys used to tease him about being pathetic around you, stumbling over his words and blushing whenever you smiled at him. He would do anything to go back to how you were, just a bit different this time. All he needed was a second chance, a chance to prove that your forever hasn’t even started.

The two of you reached the door leading to your patio, situated at the end of the hallway. The cool air blew across your faces as you stepped out, the tiniest bit of heat kissing your exposed legs as you neared the hot tub.

You tried to sit down at the end of the hot tub but was slightly pulled back due to Sunghoon staying up. You looked up at his, and then down to your hands. You loosened your fingers, attempting to pull them out from your shared hold.

Sunghoon tightened his fingers around yours, refusing to let go. He refused to look into your eye as he bent down, using one hand to undo his shoes and pull off his socks.

You shook your head as he sat down directly beside you, his side glued to your own as he put his feet down into the water. You scootched over thinking he accidentally tumbled into you, only for him to follow your lead by pressing himself against you again.

“You’re so annoying” Sunghoon looked up at you with big eyes, mouth opening upon being caught. “I’m just in love” he tried saving himself, a clear defensive tone biting at your heart.

You didn’t respond and just looked down at the water, moving your feet to create small ripples on the surface of the hot tub. Sunghoon followed your lead, purposely bumping the side of his leg against yours.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” The heartbreak was clear in your voice, prompting Sunghoon to freeze, his feet becoming still.

“It wasn’t the actual bet that hurt the most, but your dishonesty” You countinued, voice breaking as you tried remaining strong. You looked up at Sunghoon, his watery eyes staring at your face. “I don’t know if I would be able to trust you again”

It was like his world came tumbling down, heart breaking all over again as your words manifested the tears in his walls. “I didn’t mean to lie…” He trailed off, throat contradicting against his words falling from his mouth, “I didn’t want you to leave me after finding out” a loud scoff left his mouth as he let go of your hands. “But you did anyways.”

You let Sunghoon attempt to comfort himself, noticing that his hand that was holding yours moments before was now rubbing small letters into his leg. He was doing the same thing to himself that you used to do while comforting him, rubbing small messages into his leg.

It hurt you all the more after realizing his actions. It became clear to you that even though he lied about the way your relationship started, his love for you was anything but. He loved you with his whole heart, his chest beating for you. You halfheartedly meant your earlier words about not being able to trust him again, because out of everyone in the world you would never trust someone as much as you would Sunghoon.

Trust came in more ways than just promises. It came in the way he refused to let you answer your door. In the way he showed up to all your games no matter the distance. In the way he hyped you up to everyone, your name leaving his mouth in every conversation. It came in the way your body responded to everything he did, in the way it caved in on itself seeing him in pain.

You knew Sunghoon regretted hurting you, it was evident enough in the thousands of missed calls, ignored messages, and unanswered voicemails. “But I don’t regret the bet” there it was, the icing on the cake.

“If I didn’t take the bet then I wouldn’t have met you, I wouldn’t have fallen in love. I wouldn't have met you, the person I want to be with for the rest of my life” Sunghoon was crying to himself, his fingers pressing harder into his knee as the letters became more obvious. He was unconsciously writing your name into his leg, “I wouldn’t have met my person, my Y/n.”

You pulled the sobbing boy into your arms, pulling his hand off his leg to wrap around your shoulder. “I’m so sorry my y/n, please forgive me. I love you so much I promise, I love you more than anything” His tears soaked through your sweater as you pressed a small kiss on his hair, hand rubbing against his back.

“I know Sunghoon, we will be okay” His head snapped back, an evident pout on his face, “we will?” he couldn’t help the excitement from creeping in. You nodded at his words, “Only if you promise to tell me everything” he rapidly nodded, eyes gleaming as a loud giggle left his mouth. “I promise”.

Without the two of you knowing, the three boys were pressed against the glass of your patio door, “What a baby” Riki scoffed as he watched Sunghoon lean into your hands as you wiped his tears. The other two boys laughed at his words, nodding in agreement, “you don’t even know the half of it”

They watched the two of you smile at each other, Riki nodding as he watched you tease Sunghoon “They will be okay” Jungwon smiled at Riki’s words. They all turned to walk away after seeing the two lean in for a kiss only for Jungwon to freeze in place, a loud gasp leaving his lips.

“How did Sunghoon know you were here?” Sunoo was now the one gasping, his hand going to his pocket to pull out his phone. “Heeseung hyung must have seen Riki’s shoes”

Riki laughed out loud, “No way, he came because he was jealous of me? Best day of my life”

@ LVLYHANNI do not plagiarize, translate, copy or repost

Epilogue: Dear Lord When I Get To Heaven Please Let Me Bring My Man (p. sh, l. hs)

banner credit: @simpjaes🩷

pairing. step-brother sunghoon x female reader x step-brother heeseung

genre. I Would Give Up Heaven If I Had To.. AU, pwp, M/F, heavy on the angst in this one, fluff💀

warnings. morally grey characterizations(mostly Sunghoon), profanity, toxicity, sibling rivalry, mommy issues, daddy issues, anxiety/depression, Phantom of The Opera references, death, time jumps, pregnancy, no smut warnings *gasp*. minors DNI.

wc. 16.8k+

now playing. Young & Beautiful//Lana Del Rey

for @ncdeeh, the biggest fan of this series out there🖤

———————————-

Germany. 

It feels like a movie when you arrive and get off of the train. Smoke blows around, different accents sing through the air, and your breath visibly shudders in front of your face.

Heeseung’s cheeks deepen with color, he insists on carrying your bags. He knows you’re still in some state of shock, too stunned by everything that has unraveled in the last 48 hours.

“The hotel my dad booked us isn’t too far from here, I’ll order a cab for us.” He nods, directing you to follow him.

Innate instinct takes over, it’s time for him to be a man. To embody the role his father has the past few years of his life. He needs to serve and protect you now, because would you really be running off if not for him? Is he not partially to be blamed for drastically altering your life?

“We’ll only be here for a couple of weeks, then we can head back to France if you want. My dad said he’d cover everything.” Heeseung is really trying to make this as easy as possible for you. Maybe he’s feeling more guilty than he anticipated, especially after seeing your solemn expression.

“Yesterday was so fucked up.” You barely mutter, throwing yourself onto the hotel bed. “Can’t believe I did that.”

“We don’t have to talk about it.” In fact, he’d prefer not to… 

“I feel like such an awful person right now.”

You shouldn’t, given Sunghoon’s track record but this isn’t you. You would never go out of your way to use your body to manipulate and hurt someone this way..

“Don’t worry about it, alright? You don’t need to worry about me forgiving you. It’s like it never happened.” Heeseung grabs a hold of your hand, smiling softly. “Today’s a new day.”

Worry about forgiveness? Forgiveness for what. You contemplate asking, opening your mouth only to receive a gentle kiss. His lips pressed to yours with a tinge of fear. He’s afraid, probably as scared as you are.

“We need to talk Hee,” you shove at his shoulder, sitting back up. “About your mom, Jian, even Miyeon.. I don’t know, I feel so unsettled.”

“Whatever you want to know, I’m an open book for you.”

And you talked, for hours and hours. Ordered room service as you paced around the hotel room and delved deeper into his life. Picking up the small hints and marks of Sunghoon scattered throughout each memory and story. Late into the night you wore each other down to an empty bottle once full of emotions.

Heeseung cried, told you everything. How his mother offered him his first drink. He fought tooth and nail to make her stay home, to stop entering the local bars and waste her life away. She was never the same after the divorce, never explaining to him why or how it happened. She couldn’t after some time, couldn’t speak more than slurred speech, could barely keep her eyes open for longer than a few hours.

“My brother was jealous of that.” He nods, interlocking his fingers. “He has no idea that I was living through my own personal hell. I was living with a fragment of who my mother once was, by the end.. that wasn’t her. She would call me by my dad’s name a lot, yell at me, throw all types of insults at me.”

The more you listened, the more your heart broke. Sunghoon had no one, and Heeseung didn’t either. They could have at least had each other..

“My grandparents were too old, tired. Grandma was showing signs of early dementia and grandpa could hardly walk without hurting himself.” Heavy pain laces his tone, blinking back tears without looking at you. Not wanting to see the pity or hurt on your face for him. “Mom died in my arms, at the hospital. I didn’t want it to be real, sometimes the memory hits me out of nowhere and I feel so empty. I feel as useless as my dad says I am.”

There’s nothing to be said after he spills his soul wide open for you. Everything makes sense, the jealousy between him and Sunghoon. The unspoken truth that neither of them could even begin to see past their blind hatred for each other. 

“He’s right, I should have done more.” Heeseung trembles, failing to fight his tears any longer. They roll down to his chin, shaking off with the chatter of his teeth. “I should have helped her somehow.”

“You were a kid.” You try to help, knowing this is above your capabilities. You hold him, clean his tears, scratch through his scalp, and he lets it all out. Every fear, every thought that plagues hik, the root of his pain that started the day his parents tore apart their family. 

“I wanted to be above this, try to have a normal life when I moved back home to live with my dad.” He sighs, sinking deeper into your hold. “He hates me. Maybe I remind him too much of her.”

Even the richest of rich shouldn’t always have kids, even if they are more than able to afford to. Mr. Park clearly had a detachment from his sons, most especially Heeseung..

“I told you, he wanted me to ask Miyeon out first. I don’t know why Sunghoon took that bullet for me. I kind of hoped that it was because he doesn’t hate me, but after this..”

“I think if he knew everything, he would have never put you through all of this again Hee. Not that he deserves an excuse, but I want to believe your brother isn’t actually as evil as he wants us to perceive.”

“I hope he’s not.” Heeseung stares off into the void, sniffling. “If only because I still feel bad, that he grew up without us. Especially after living with my dad again, he’s such an emotionless prick.. it’s no wonder my brother always made fun of me when I’d cry. Moving back home without my mom was hard for me. I felt like a stranger in my own house, as if I didn’t belong there.”

Nothing can excuse Sunghoon’s behavior and actions of course, even if you questioned everyday what his experience was living alone with Mr. Park throughout his primitive years. How did all of that time without a motherly figure alter his life? The way he thinks? That stone cold heart of his you’d come to know. 

How could the two of them be so different and yet the same. Heeseung who handled his feelings by expressing his emotion and pain, never scared to shed a tear. Who would lay his head on your lap and kindly ask you to hold him, to stroke his hair the way his mother used to. Who walks around with the open wound in his heart proudly displayed.

Sunghoon, for the little amount of time you had him in your life, he couldn’t do the same. Couldn’t bring himself to open up, to tell you how he really feels. He held back, masked his feelings with anger and harshness; a shield, really. He needed someone to be there for him, to help him understand himself..

And as you lived your life and settle into your loft in Paris, you slowly let those thoughts get to you. Each day he crossed your mind, and you shoved those thoughts down deeper, kicking dirt over the growing pile to keep them buried alive. You could not feel guilty nor sorry for him, or you’d break.

Many nights came and went by staring at his name in your list of contacts, blocked by his brother the day you got on a train to get away from him. You knew that reaching out to him would only lead to your demise, because maybe when Heeseung kisses you, you shut your eyes and can taste Sunghoon’s lips.

Maybe you have to bite down on your tongue to not moan his name. Maybe when you’re extra tired, you swear that your boyfriend resembles him too much, that you can almost picture him being the one walking through the front door of your loft. 

Maybe you can’t stop yourself from imagining the other side of the coin, how everything could have gone if you had given Sunghoon a chance.

And despite how perfect your relationship has been, you can’t ward away those curiosities. Can’t fight your mind when you shut your eyes and begin to count the different beauty marks dotted around Sunghoon’s face. 

You try to ignore those thoughts, to replace them with only new memories of Heeseung, but maybe you give up one day.

Maybe you allow the fantasy of what could have been to infiltrate your head, and maybe you enjoy it more than you are willing to admit.

———————————-

~one year later~

Three hundred and sixty-five days to be exact. But who’s keeping count? 

Sunghoon is. He bought a physical calendar at the airport before flying back home with your mother and father. 

That flight had really been excruciating for him. The one upside is that the seats next to him were originally reserved for you and his brother. He could at least wallow in his misery alone. 

And he did, for a few hours at first. The long flight home spanned for over half of a day and time ticked by more slowly than usual. He tried to read, paid for the wifi to use and distracted himself with some games, browsed through the movies the airline had to offer. Nothing could stop his mind from racing, stuck in the idea of you.

Because that’s all this was right? The idea of you.

That idea that you could fix him, because maybe that’s what he wants. He wants to be fixed. Sunghoon knows all of his social problems, his dad didn’t pay for an overpriced therapist for nothing. After the divorce, he hadn’t handled the situation so great. 

Mr. Park had never wanted to be a father, he was very successful straight out of university after earning his degree rather fast thanks to his own father’s name. Generational wealth had done its due diligence to breeze him through the educational system. The last thing he wanted was to share the money consistently expanding in his bank account with children and a wife. Not when he was having a blast playboying around from country to country on private jets, schmoozed and bribed with free luxury alcohol, grand dining experiences only ever allowed for the wealthy and famous.

His father, Sunghoon’s grandfather, had other plans in mind for him. That's where his mother came in. She was an intern at his grandfather’s company, a girl with a squeaky clean reputation. He set them up on a date, insisting that his son lock in a wife before he cut him out of his will. Growing tired and furious with each new headline of his son out and about partying with celebrities.

It was time for him to get serious. That's business, investors would take him more seriously as a family man as opposed to some messy international playboy. 

So, he got married. 

Was he in love? No, absolutely not. But then along came the birth of first son Heeseung and he had no choice but to accept his title as a wed father. This was his new life.

A miserable life of work, countless business trips, screaming baby cries keeping him up all throughout the night, and a nagging wife constantly accusing him of cheating. 

Things were bleak compared to his world only a year prior, and then Sunghoon came along and everything only seemed to grow worse with time.

The boys—his boys, had no way of knowing and understanding their parents' unhappy marriage. They were given every toy, playset, console, and every shiny new expensive device on the market without question. 

Sunghoon had always been closer to his mother given his father’s packed schedule. He loved her, always lit up and giggled when she’d pick him up from school and ask about his day. He can still remember the scent of her perfume, soft and sweet like a batch of fresh cookies. Her loving hands would pinch his cheeks, hoist him up onto her hip until he became too large to do so.

They’d chat for hours into the evening after school, all about his day, what activities he did in class. Any new friends he made, helping him to complete his homework. Heeseung would usually whine for dinner first, rubbing his stomach with big eyes directed at their mother. She really really never failed to show them how much she loved them both.

That’s what hurt and confused him the most for years after the last time he saw her. His father dragged him away from her at the airport, and he kicked, he screamed, he cried and threw a tantrum. 

‘That is enough Sunghoon.’ His dad said to him firmly, gripping his shoulders and standing him back onto his feet. ‘No son of mine will embarrass this way.’

He was a kid, not even a teenager yet. Dealing with an explosion of raging hormones while losing his mom and brother. None of it seemed fair, and he cried, he cried for months, for over a year. Screamed at by his father in return, the only parent he had left to care for him. He would throw money at Sunghoon, tell him to wipe his face and go buy himself something to cheer up. That was always his answer to dealing with his overly emotional distressed son.

He tried to keep in touch with Heeseung, but his dad forbade it. Didn’t want him to be influenced by his siblings' new life or manipulated by whatever false narratives his mother would be likely to create. 

After a good year of dropping his grades, teachers contacting his father full of concern, and a son that barely opened his mouth to speak, Mr. Park slid a pamphlet across the dinner table.

‘Therapy, son.’ He cleared his throat, setting down his fork to sip his glass of wine. ‘It’s high time you grow up and become a man. No son of mine will enter high school with below average grades. I have expectations of you.’

Therapy. That was his father’s next plan to fix his broken heart. To grant him emotional relief of all his pain. 

It helped, at first, to understand why he feels what he feels. Why he acts out the way he does, why he hurts so deeply, why he can’t fathom having hope.

It worked until it didn’t. 

Maybe Sunghoon had reached a certain point of maturity that snapped his mind out of his misery. Maybe he never let it go, maybe it became a part of him. One with his misery, embracing it and not allowing it to ruin his life anymore.

‘I don’t think I need this anymore.’ He told his therapist after two years with a thin smile on his face. 

He tried to talk him out of canceling his future sessions, tried to explain that this was more beneficial for him than he realized but Sunghoon had opted for another form of therapy. 

Years of being spoiled instead of nurtured and loved by his parents led him to sports. He took up weight training. Started to see his arms build muscle, the lines in his stomach grow deeper, his stamina strengthened. 

His depressed thoughts lessened by the dayc more focused on how built and lean he could get. Visiting a trainer and nutritionist to change up his diet to nothing but protein to make him stronger, bigger, more intimidating.

His dad couldn’t call him weak anymore. In fact, Sunghoon hasn’t cried a day ever since he cut off his therapist. That damn croc of shit tried to get him on a prozac prescription, often spoke of stronger antidepressants.

He didn’t need any of that bullshit.

No.

Sunghoon knows exactly what he needs. 

Three hundred and sixty-five days and he hasn’t missed one gym session. It’s the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up. Craves the burn in his muscle, the pain and soreness he experiences after. He needs to lick off the sweat that lines his upper lip, shake off any before it can reach his eyes and clump his dark eyelashes together. 

He’s been working out like a maniac ever since that fucking family vacation. Spending countless hours in the basement gym his father and your mom never step foot inside of. They’re hardly ever home anyway, too busy frolicking around traveling the world in luxury.

He can’t complain, except for days such as today when he enters the kitchen to make himself a protein shake and his step-mother beams the largest smile at him.

“Sunghoon! Come say hi!”

“Oh mom, no please, I really have to go. I’ll be late for class!” The line cuts immediately after before he can even answer your mother.

It’s always the same, you always have to go. You’re busy, your connections bad, you have plans with Heeseung. 

“Aw shoot.” Your mom sighs, closing her ipad. “Next time.” She gives him a wary smile on her way out of the kitchen. 

There is no next time, you’ve successfully avoided him for a fucking year now. His brother never contacts him, the texts he tried to send you bounce back, his phone calls never go through. He tried at first to contact you somehow, emails, embarrassing phone calls attempted in the middle of the night when he knew you’d be awake given the time difference. Even fucking carrier pigeon would be a useless option.

You obviously want nothing to do with him. Both of your parents are too oblivious to understand the amount of effort his own fucking brother has made to avoid speaking with him. How neither if you ever ask about him, how he’s been, if he’s healthy.

Sometimes it hurts when he allows his mind to drift deep enough into those thoughts. That’s when he really takes it out on the gym punching bag. Lunging his shoulder so hard into it one day that he had to wear a sling for the rest of the week. 

It’s times like this he wishes he could be anywhere but here. That he could get away and go back to a safe place that felt more like home than whatever this bullshit is. Days like this stir up old memories of his mother, how she would cradle him and read him bedtime stories. How she carefully held his hand while grocery shopping even though she had to bend at her waist to do so and strain her back.

How he never got to say goodbye to her. Has never even visited her grave. He never got answers, how could she so easily abandon one of her kids. Maybe she never loved him..

And now he asks himself different questions, about another woman he thought, perhaps even hoped, could love him. Was he a fool to believe that you might actually have feelings for him? Fuck if you didn’t play with his emotions and mess with his head enough.

He let you, he let you dog walk him like a fucking idiot. It hurts of course, especially when he’s laid in bed and can’t sleep a wink even after tiring himself out with some midnight cardio. He stares at the ceiling, ponders the time he spent with you. How much you changed and unraveled right before his eyes.

It’s not that he wants to have feelings for you. The truth is, he gave his father an ultimatum for the first time in his life. He’d finish school, collect his degree, and run whatever fucking sector his dad needed his face plastered across as the CEO. Young Sunghoon Park, the next generation of power. 

But he did not want to continue his fraudulent relationship with Miyeon any longer, he refused to fall down that same path his dad had. To grow old with someone who only stayed with him by force. 

Needless to say his father was disappointed, of course. The old man reprimanded him and argued about what a waste of time it’s been to build a relationship with Miyeon’s father to merge their companies. The real end goal was really to take down his competitors and buy them out, not merge shit. Sunghoon held his guard, he relented and stuck to his word.

He’d be his father’s working bitch, work harder than any asshole that graduated from Harvard and Yale, but the decision of his future wife would be his own. The one thing his dad could no longer have control over- the mother of his children, his partner, the woman he’d walk down the aisle towards.

He hadn’t thought too deeply on the matter until you came into his life and turned his world upside down. 

He never felt an emotional tie to Miyeon even when they began dating. They tried at first, too young to comprehend why they were being made to meet up at Dave N Busters with limitless funds to play games all night and order as many fries as they could manage to eat. She had let him know real quick that he simply wasn’t her type.

‘Pretty boys like you do nothing for me.’ 

And if he was being honest, she didn’t quite spark his desires despite her good looks and charm. They got along better as friends and made a pact to continue on with their relationship to keep their parents equally satisfied.

‘My father keeps dragging me to these business ventures to meet his colleagues' sons. I need my weekends back.’

Their agreement worked out great for both of them. Sunghoon would use those alleged dates with Miyeon to hit up parties and clubs. He started to gain a reputation around campus for having a great body and an insatiable need to fuck like a beast. With his dad remaining none the wiser to his weekend escapades, he felt as if life couldn’t get any better.

And then you came along. You showed up and gummed up the works. 

It’s hard to say if Heeseung really saw you first, not that he can stake claim off a look.. but Sunghoon knows that he wanted you first. It’s possible he had only planned to add you to the enormous growing list of girls he had conquered in just the past year. Maybe he just wanted to fuck you to say that he did. To soothe his raging ego with the knowledge that he can and will always get what he wants.

It was too easy really, you needed a tutor. And if Sunghoon knew how to do anything, it’s to pass a class with the highest scores and grades. He wasn’t valedictorian for nothing. Years of his father talking down to him about failing Physical Education of all classes after the split with his mother never allowed him to hit that low again. He studied and worked his ass off day and night to earn better grades, to be the teacher's favorite, to get a spot on the dean’s list.

Sunghoon hadn’t planned to keep fucking you. A few times maybe, for fun, to piss his dad off even if he never found out. But when he heard you inside of Heeseung’s bedroom..

When he saw the way the two of you looked at each other. When his older brother swept you away and off your feet cosplaying as some fucking humble prince to help you escape from an awkward first meeting with Miyeon; that—that pissed Sunghoon off.

Not Heeseung who also forgot about him for years, who got to live with the one parent they had that could give a fuck about either of them. That likely came home after school to home cooked meals. He’s sure their mother still brushed his hair even as a teenager. Still woke up the house on Sunday mornings loudly singing along to her favorite songs as a teenager. That motherfucker really had the audacity to portray himself as a saint in front of you.

And that truly made his blood boil. For a moment, no more than a few seconds.. he felt a tinge of jealousy.

Not only did Heeseung get to have their mother’s love in the end, but he was also going to have you.

Call him a monster for reacting the way that he did, but seeing his brother happy for the first time since he’d moved back in with their father; that made his blood pressure spike. 

Why should Heeseung have it so fucking easy?! Why does everything work out for him?? Sunghoon’s sick of it, he’s been sick of that waste of space moping around the house. Taking up time in the living room playing his stupid fucking video games, never even bothering to ask him if he’d want to join him.

Not that he would, never wanting to hold a conversation with that moron he’s forced to call his sibling. His feelings may have been superficial, greedy and childish.. at first, but maybe that’s why he never fucked a random hook-up more than a handful of times. He never permitted himself to grow attached, to release those emotions that could weaken him. He tried so hard to protect the vulnerable shattered boy that grew without love, that he nearly forgot he even once existed.

That’s why this has hurt more than anything he’s felt in years. Because he hasn’t been able to feel. He hasn’t poured anything from his cup in so long that just one splash spilling out was enough to leave him empty.

He finds himself alone in the gym again. Glancing around at everything he’s left in place. The way his equipment shines thanks to the maids that clean up around here. How his mini-fridge stays stocked with energy drinks and electrolytes without him being required to lift a finger.

Easy. Such an easy life. Why would he ever want to leave this? Why would anyone.

Would you have ran off to Germany if not for him? Would you have stayed with Heeseung all of this time if he had just let you be? Thousands of questions with no answer swarm his thoughts when he zones out deep enough. A good vigorous workout can typically cure that, grunting through the burning pain that shoots up his back and arms. 

Sweat pours and he twists side to side to spray the droplets away from his eyes. Too fearful of ever catching himself in the mirror again with any type of wetness rimmed so close to his iris. The one time he did had him dropping to his knees, scrubbing a small towel at his face until his skin turned an angry red and not one bit of sweat remained.

Crying is for weak little bitches like his older brother. Always crying to get his way instead of putting up a fight.

Hearing your voice today for only a few seconds, the line beeping when you ended the call.. the thought wrinkles his eyebrows, burns inside of his nostrils. Twitching his nose to make that feeling go away, that hallowing in his chest. Not even a year apart had softened you? These days of nothing, you weren’t at all curious?

Pain. Pain squeezed at his lungs. Subsiding it as over exerting himself by lifting weights that are too heavy. He drops them abruptly and goes to chug water. Dragging a towel across his forehead, leaving his hair sticking up in different directions. 

Heartless, a heartless girl with no compassion. Unless his brother had really manipulated you to act this way.. he had his suspicions. That Heeseung had fucked you up as much as himself.. took advantage of the sweet soul he’d come to know. Refusing to believe that what you shared had meant nothing..

It certainly hadn’t meant nothing to Sunghoon. He tried to fuck other girls, even went on dates and forced a smile on his face through each boring one. He couldn’t forget you, everything around him led back to the memory of you.

Perhaps even who he wanted you to be for him.. and time and time again he failed to convince himself that this was your choice. That you chose his brother..

There was just no way.

Sunghoon came to workout to get away from his mind. To shut you off for an hour or so. He can’t deal with this right now. Why did you mom have to be on a video call with you right now?!

Stomping over to the ipad, he scrolls through different playlists in search of something to blast the echo of your voice away. Something obnoxiously loud to drown out his mind.

He should have hit shuffle and gone back to his reps. The universe couldn’t taunt him any harder as your name shows up in bold letters on the screen, recommending him a playlist you must have saved on here when you’d use his gym.

He would have deleted it by now if he had noticed, and he should. He should tap the screen to remove your shitty playlist for good. But he doesn’t, he hits play instead and the room floods with your screamy tortured emo crap. This woe is me wah wah wah music that you and his brother bonded over. Teenage angst at it’s finest as some grown man wails through his sound system and his hands fall limp to his sides. It’s the same shit he’d hear coming from your now unlived in bedroom. The muffled guitar from your headphones. 

Why didn’t he just hit delete? Now he can’t stop his nostrils from flaring, his teeth gritting together, the tremble running down his forearms to his hands.

It’s been so long since Sunghoon last shed a tear. It happened last on that flight while he sat alone, about six hours up in the air. He put on some cheesy romcom movie to watch, fully expecting to fall asleep 10-15 minutes in. He should have chosen something else, of course he landed on some ridiculous movie with a love triangle plot.

‘I like you just the way you are.’

Sunghoon had to hit pause, fighting the tears filling up his eyes as he struggled to not blink. If he blinks, the one singular tear dangling near the corner will spill down his cheek. He’ll have shed an actual fucking tear. 

Stupid fucking Bridget Jones Diary, he’ll never watch this crap again! Instead he shut off the movie and dabbed away the tear that managed to get past his cold will. No one saw that happen anyway, only he has to know that some sappy romance film brought him to tears.

That won’t happen again. Except that when he landed and finally got home, took a shower and laid in bed; he couldn’t stop thinking about that dumb movie. Who did Bridget fucking pick?!? She couldn’t have chosen that asshole Daniel Cleaver..

Not after Mark Darcy told her he liked her embarrassing ass just the way she is. He threw a fit that night learning that there was 3 Goddamn movies he’d have to get through to find out who this woman ends up with. Not a wink of sleep was had that night as he sat at his computer and found streams of each one go watch in order from start to end.

Sunghoon.. Sunghoon couldn’t stop repeating that line. 

‘I like you just the way you are.’ What a load of shit..

Maybe his heart tightened and his pulse slowed down for a minute, everything on the plane went still, his ears popped, and he felt something he didn’t believe to be possible..

Love.

This has to be why girls watch this crap.. 

What he would give up to be liked just the way he is. That’s how you made him feel, accepted. You saw his darkness and still let him in. That cut him deeper than anything. Losing you to his brother hardly mattered compared to the thought that you accepted him, you liked him for exactly who he is without needing change..

“Stupid stupid stupid.” He slaps at his skull, crouching down by the speaker to tuck his chest into his knees and take shallow breaths. He chose to ignore these panic attacks and nights without sleep, lying to himself that he’s fine. He’s completely fine. That these unanswered questions and intrusive thoughts don’t consume him. That he doesn’t scream in the shower and punch at the tile out of anger, frustration and deep pain that he continues to shove down.

Taking a few minutes to shut off his kind and recuperate himself, he drags his weight up by gripping onto the speaker stand. Slamming his palm down to power off the machine before anymore of your playlist can shake the gym walls and stab the knife lodged in his chest even deeper.

He limps slowly to sit properly, patting around his sweats for his phone. Taking another minute to catch his breath he unlocks the device and searches through his contacts to make a phone call.

“Hello?”

“Yeah.” He licks at his dried lips, rubbing his chest to help his breathing return to normal.

“Sunghoon? What’s going on?”

“Miyeon, I need to see you.”

———————————-

“You look like shit.” 

“Thanks.” Sunghoon opens the front door wide for Miyeon, ushering her in toward the living room. His parents aren’t home meaning he won’t have to deal with his father’s pestering questions or wishes of them getting back together. That’s not why she’s here.

Miyeon’s as pretty as ever, her hair shines and bounces as she walks. The scent of sweet cotton candy trails behind her, and her mini-skirt flicks up with each step she takes ahead of him. She’s beautiful, she always has been, and still he feels nothing for her.

“Alright, what was so urgent that you needed me to weasel my way out of the annual tennis finals at the country club? My dad’s not happy.” She huffs, smirking and rolling her eyes. “Not that I’ve loved spending my summer paraded around a bunch of rich spoiled frat boys.”

“How’s your boyfriend?” Sunghoon asks, sitting down next to her.

“Sad, he misses me.” She pouts. “I miss him more.”

“And when will you tell your father about him?”

Miyeon’s lips tighten, hiding a grin. “When will you tell your father that you left me for your step-sister?”

Of course Sunghoon told her, he had to. He had to tell someone and in many ways, Miyeon may be his only friend. It wasn’t easy but he needed someone to understand, to reassure him that he’s not going insane. 

‘You can’t possibly be losing your mind Hoon, you never had it to begin with.’ 

She wasn’t the best of help, but she listened, and she told him that he’s a freak. But a valid freak nonetheless.

“I can’t tell him.” Sunghoon nods, nervously playing with his hands. “Haven’t been on his good side ever since I told him that we broke things off. He’s been on my ass about internships and school. Nepotism must skip a generation.”

“You’re going to inherit his company, don’t be so crass. It’s unbecoming, tarnishing your cold stoic vampiresque image.” She teases, flicking his chin. “You’re definitely a shell of the man I knew. She did a real number on you.”

He hates that she’s right. He knows that his confidence has been rocked, his mind drowned beneath the thoughts he can’t escape. He wouldn’t even know how to keep his guard up anymore to block Miyeon’s sassy jabs. “I guess she did.” 

“What is it, Hoon? You could have anyone. Why did it have to be your step-sister?” She crosses her legs, head tilted to the side observing him. All she needs now is a notepad and pen to tap her chin with. She should study to psychoanalyze, really.

“She could have been anyone.” Sunghoon agrees with that. Step-sister or not, he can’t pinpoint the exact reason you caused him to spiral. “But I like her.”

“Why? What’s so special about her?”

It’s not one thing, but a bit of everything. If he could really take away the superficial and shallow reasonings beyond you being his type physically, sexy and alluring, it would come down to the energy between you. The tension and heat. He often questions if that would fade with time once you stop fighting him. If you would ever stop fighting him even if he was able to call you his.

The back and forth with you really does turn him on not only sexually but emotionally. Awakening feelings he forgot could exist. Even now without contact, with no way to reach you, he feels that pull. He feels taunted and defeated, and it’s pitiful how much he loves it. He loves that between him and his brother, you may have been the victorious one after all.

“Would you judge me if I said I feel a connection to her?” He sighs, slumping into the couch seat. “That sounds stupid, right?”

“Not at all.” Miyeon shifts to look at him, offering a small smile. “Sounds normal. You’re crazy about her because it’s more than sex, if it wasn’t you wouldn’t still be hung up on her. A guy like you doesn’t have it hard, you wouldn’t even know what it is to struggle even if you were slapped across the face with it.”

“I have it hard.” He grumbles, glaring at her. “You know what I’ve been through.”

“No you don’t Hoon.” Miyeon laughs, pointing a finger at him. “You think that because your life hasn’t been perfect, everything hasn’t gone your way, that other people wouldn’t sell their soul to live the way you live? We’re so incredibly out of touch with the real human struggle, our biggest hassle is seeking love.”

“So what? I’m not worthy of love because I’m some fucking wealthy brat?” He snaps, getting angrier by the second.

“We’re all worthy of love. You’re just not used to having to try hard, to earn what you want..” Miyeon reaches for his hand, breaking his rage for a moment. “If you expect love, you have to give love. She’s not your mom, she’s probably just as scared as you are of all of this.”

“She loves my brother just fine.” 

“From what you’ve told me, he loves her too. I didn’t know back then, but the way he rescued her from having dinner with us would have swept me off my feet.” She shrugs, frowning at him. “And do you know where he is now? In Paris, with her. He gave up his life for her.”

“Because he hates me.”

“Or because he loves her.”

Sunghoon’s mouth twitches, he refuses to believe that. Heeseung isn’t capable of loving anyone other than himself, he’s selfish.. 

“And you? You’re here, sitting on a couch talking to me as if I am your therapist.” Miyeon continues, cocking an eyebrow at him. “What’s your excuse?”

“What? I’m supposed to go to Paris and stalk her?!” 

She shrugs, raising her hands and nodding. “How could that be any worse than everything else you have already done to her? Listen,” fully turning to face him, she grabs both of his hands. “You need to talk to her, tell her how you feel.”

“She won’t speak to me.”

“Don’t give her a choice.” Miyeon says, grimacing. “It’s not the best advice but you don’t have time for this anymore. You’ve been moping around for a year still hanging onto old memories of this girl. She may not even be the same person you felt a connection to anymore. Aren’t you tired of not knowing?”

“You think I should go to Paris? Corner her when she’s not with my brother?” A light flickers behind his eyes, staring ahead deep in thought.

“I didn’t say all of that but, you need to do what you need to do.. get your girl or lose her forever.” 

She’s right, isn’t she? How could Sunghoon not realize this on his own? He thought giving you time, that you would come around on your own and realize how much he loves you. That he only did what he did because he wants you. That his brother would never compare to him..  

“Poor girl.” Miyeon mumbles, smacking Sunghoon’s shoulder. “Don’t let your greed to win overshadow what you feel for her. Put her first, for once.”

Maybe he needs more friends, perhaps another opinion could have talked him out of this. His father couldn’t complain when he approached him with the idea of finishing up his company internship(aka bitch work) in France, given that he would be taking over the European sector of his father’s company. 

So he packed his bags with nothing else planned. No place to call home, no thoughts other than finding you. The flight was long and lonely once again, but he made use of his time and brushed up on French, repeating key words and phrases he’d likely use often. 

It was crazy, all of this has been crazy. Miyeon told him to not stress much on his outlandish behavior, it’s not as if falling for your step-sibling sounded normal to begin with.

And maybe, he could fall out of love. He could go on with his life without another thought of you, without another painful grip around his heart. 

At least he hoped for an outcome close to that, of discarding his heartache. Of forgetting your name. But that couldn’t be the case.

No. He sat in the hotel lobby where he’d overheard you had taken on a summer job, and he saw you. He stayed by the corner, in the shadows, pretending to wait for his taxi driver's arrival. He watched you walk through the front doors, and he gasped. His chest caved in, his grip on the chair's arms tightened, and he leaned forward. He watched you move like slow motion, as if you were never real, and his stomach fluttered. 

He knew right then this may never be over.

Maybe it’s for the best that only Miyeon knew of his plan. To lure you up to his suite and get you alone at your place of work. You can’t leave if he does that.. and sure, maybe it’s not the most ethical approach. Maybe it’s invasive and even deplorable, but what choice have you left him? 

Phone number, blocked.

Emails, ignored.

Your living space? Shared with Heeseung. 

How else is he supposed to get to you?

This makes sense, planning out a way to trap you alone in his suite with him. Sneaking up on you, showering you with outrageously expensive gifts, and getting on his knees to purpose.

Now Miyeon had not made that suggestion, but Sunghoon concluded no other statement could make it clear how serious he is about you. How much he wants to prove his love to you, that’s why he hopped off of his flight and immediately rushed to one of the most luxurious reputable jewelers in all of Paris. A fat diamond rock to adorn your finger would be the perfect way to express his love, right? It’s not as if he even knows your ring size, having to take a wild guess and make note to adjust it later if necessary.

Everything about this plan is very *him* if he thinks about it, and you should expect no less from him. He’s eccentric like that, always pulling something ridiculous. He’s sure you recall when he purchased that pearl necklace for you simply because you’d been admiring it. How else would he make a grand comeback into your life?

Maybe he is crazy, or maybe you made him crazy. He smiled as he spoke to you, his palms grew sweatier the more his pocket weighed down with the leather box encasing your future engagement ring. The gloves were a real nice touch to not leave any of his grubby fingerprint marks on the silver band, nothing to ruin how pretty the ring would beam from your ring finger. You didn’t seem to like the gloves, but ah well..

‘I won’t give up on what my heart believes is real.’

He couldn’t believe the words leaving his lips, really. Could hardly hold himself together with how loud chest was pounding. 

‘Please, say yes.’ He begged, and his tongue felt so heavy dragging through his pleading. The backs of his eyes burned, his stomach churned, his knees trembled on the ground. If not for the cool breeze of air conditioning swarming through the hotel room, he’s sure he’d be sweating enough to soak through his suit.

It’s been so long since he’s touched you, since he’s seen your eyes focused on him, since he’s held you. Nervous hands clutch at your waist and bring you to stand. The look of awe and disbelief written across your face fills his chest with warmth. This could be worth all of his waiting and suffering, if you open your mouth and say that one word that can bring you together again.

“No!” A firm slap flies across his cheek. Snapping his neck to the side and nearly dislodging his jaw, he blinks for a minute to regain himself. Shifting his mouth muscles around to stop the lower half of his face from going numb.

More than the pain scorching through his face, he couldn’t turn off the ringing going off between his ears.

NO?!?!?!??!

Sunghoon’s cheek burns, his chest muscles twitch, and a searing pain erupts in his heart. He can feel it this time, no denying that his heart is literally in severe pain, causing him to reach for the area. He turns to glare at you, dropping the box with the ring from his grip. 

“What is wrong with you! You come here, to my job!!” You shout, shoving at his abdomen. “And you fucking ask me to marry you?!? Are you insane! Are you God damn kidding me! You can’t be this crazy, you just can’t be!”

He hears you, he does, but not really. Because the pain in his chest blooms, he steps back with each shove you deliver, and more of his internal hurt spreads. The butterflies flapping inside of his stomach lose their wings, they collapse to their death and he grabs a hold of your wrists before you can push him away again.

“You left me.”

It’s hard to look at him, harder to hear his voice. To feel his large hands wrapped around your delicate wrists. It’s harder to look away and find the ring by your feed, the ring he seriously thought you’d accept and wear on your finger? That you’d say yes?

“I was never with you.”

“Tell me,” he swallows, lifting your arms up and crossing them over your chest. Holding you in place. “Tell me that I mean nothing to you then. Let me fucking move on and forget about me, let me go.”

“Sunghoon.”

“No.” He grits, bottom lip trembling. “You don’t get to do this. You want to be with my brother? Then fine, go fucking be with him. But at least let me go.”

“This was all in your head.” You struggle to rip out of his hold, shaking yourself away. “Y-you think you can have whatever you want because of daddy’s money. You can’t have me just because you stomp and jump around like a bra—“

He should have known you wouldn’t give him a clear answer, you’re too weak for him to deny him. He’s too weak to stay away from you. So he cuts you off with a firm kiss, slotting his lips between yours. He’s been craving, dreaming of this kiss for months, to savor your taste once more. 

There’s no push or pull, only tension leaving your body as his soft pout moves against yours and he takes a step closer until the backs of your knees hit the hotel bed.

He deserves this kiss and some, more than anything. For waiting, for staying patient and not losing the little bit of his mind he still has left. A shudder runs up his spine when he drops his hands to your waist and squeezes you, pulling your chest to his. You feel right against him, smell so good, and your lips couldn’t be more heavenly. 

Slowly blinking his eyes open, he takes a few seconds to linger by your lips and take in your softened features. The dreamy look that’s taken over your face. The breaths that fan across his mouth heavier than before. He knows in this moment that you’ll never let him go, because he won’t let you.

“Y-you shouldn’t have done that.” You stammer, reaching for his hands on you. “Think you can just come back into my life and mess everything up again?!”

“Yes, I mean, no.” Squeezing his eyes shut, he shakes his head in disagreement. “I’m not here to mess up anything, I’m here to make this right.”

“There’s nothing to make right.” Loosening his hold on your waist, you manage to move around him. “I have to get back to work, please do not follow me.”

“Please.” He knows he sounds pathetic, reaching for your hand to stop you from leaving. He drags along with you toward the suite entrance without letting go. Stopping when you do and your shoulders slump, letting out a long-winded sigh.

“What do you want from me?”

“A chance.” He says confidently, interlacing his fingers with yours. “You can’t tell me you don’t feel it when we’re together. Call me insane and crazy all that you want, but I know what passes between us isn’t nothing.”

“It doesn’t matter—“

“No, it does though.” Sunghoon cuts you off, using your moment of surprise to loop his arms around your waist again. “Because I’m here, I came here for you. I will not leave until you give me a chance.”

“A chance? I don’t understand, I can’t even begin to understand why you’re still trying. Why won’t you give up?!”

He knows that nothing he says to you will make sense, that even if he admitted how his feelings began to develop you may not like his full explanation. “I’m a lot of things, I’m sure you’re aware. I’m nowhere near perfect, and I haven’t shown you anything impressive really. If you deemed me a monster, I couldn’t argue with that.” He nods, rubbing up and down your sides. “But when it comes to you, I really do believe that you like me despite all of that. I—“ he stutters for a second, looking away to recompose himself. The same rush of heat he loathes finds the backs of his eyes. He can’t cry, not now.

“I think we get each other, you’re scared.” Clearing his throat, he eyes your face for any change in expression. “I’m scared. I’ve been scared. Terrified of how strongly I feel about you. I’m done being afraid.”

“And what do you think I’m scared of?” You ask sternly, tilting your chin up.

“Me.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I’m a monster.” That’s who he is to you. He’s the evil brother, the one with malicious intent. Spoiled rotten, crazy enough to do just about anything. He knows what you’ve built him up as in your mind, good or bad, there’s too much to repair and no amount of love you may harbor for him can do the job. If it could, you would have said yes. “That’s what you think of me, right?”

“No, Sunghoon.” You whisper, freeing yourself from his hold yet again. “I prefer to not think of you.”

“Why? Why is that?” He questions quickly, moving around you to barricade the door to exit. “Why are you pretending that I don’t exist? That none of this mattered to you.”

An air of defeat settles over you, dropping your head back with a sigh. You shrug and glare at him, unable to stop your gaze from roaming down, back up, and down again to take in how much more masculine and mature he’s become in just a year. Physically, and obviously emotionally. “Do you want me to tell you that I once had feelings for you? That I felt so guilty for months after leaving you alone in that hotel room. That I beat myself up over it, for feeling bad in the first place. I couldn’t even figure out how to feel, if you even deserved my sympathy after what you did.”

“Did you feel bad? For trying to break my heart?”

“No.” Pressing your lips into a thin line, you blink fast to push down the moisture finding its way to your eyes. Confused and annoyed by the look of disbelief that crosses his face, you clench your fists. “My heart let go of the idea of you after I found out about what you did to your brother. You played in my face and tried to manipulate me, I’m not even sure I know who you really are.”

Sunghoon has to fight to not roll his eyes, resting his back against the door he crosses his arms over his chest. “I’m exactly who I’ve shown you, never seemed to be a problem before.”

“Are you? Are you the same nice guy that took me to the Vatican? Or are you that asshole that threatened me in your bedroom?”

“Both.” He shrugs, pushing off the door to get in your face. “Tell me that you didn’t love both, that you didn’t like it when I fucked you the way you deserved.”

“I don’t think you’d be able to handle the truth if I told you what I loved most.” 

Sunghoon squints, licking the backs of his teeth with a hint of annoyance flickering across his face. He shakes his head and scoffs under his breath. “Don’t start.”

“Why? Because you hate to accept that side of yourself? That you can actually feel basic human emotion?” You ask brazenly, reaching for his jaw to drag one of your digits down. “That this sharp cold image is just a facade to hide how broken you really are?”

His neck twists away, snapping his face away from your touch. “Whatever bullshit my brother has told you is a lie. He doesn’t know me, he doesn’t know shit about what I went through.”

“He hasn’t told me much, only what I asked. I know about Miyeon.”

“Pfft,” rolling his eyes, he sets his jaw tight and pins you in place with a furious look. “What about her? I already told you, we broke it off. We never had a real relationship.”

“I know.” Softening your expression, you reach for one of his hands. Not too surprised when he allows you to lace your fingers between his. “I know about that, how your father wanted Heeseung to date her first. And I know that despite everything you’ve pulled, you still have love for your brother.”

Sunghoon lifts your hands, turning from yours to his to admire the size difference between you. How you perfectly fit against his palm, and how much nicer hand would look with a gorgeous ring on your finger. “Even if I did, it’s not enough to stop me from getting what I want. No amount of love for him or my father can stop me anymore, you do realize that, don’t you?”

“I think you’re looking for someone that I am not.” You frown, pulling your hand away. “I’m not the girl that can erase your past or heal you..”

“I don’t need to be healed.” Cupping your face, his thumbs stroke over your cheeks. Eyes dropping shut for a moment as he contemplates kissing you again. He knows better now, than you won’t listen to him if he tries to capture your lips again. “I just need you.”

“No, Hoon..” you sigh, lightly squeezing his wrists. “You’re in pain, whether you understand that or not. And it’s beyond me, above what I am capable of helping you deal with.”

Sunghoon’s fingers tremble against your jaw, slowly dragging his hands down to your throat. “Is my pain all that I am to you?”

“No, but.. I don’t know if your pain is something that I’m ready to handle.” 

Dropping his hands, he takes a step back away from you. No longer standing before the door, leaving you with a clear escape. “Yet.”

Perhaps he’s right, maybe it’s hope, delusion, something along that route. But you can’t find it in yourself to deny him. Only stiffly nodding your head as you make your way to leave the suite. He stops you one more time, licking his pink lips.

“Don’t leave me this way, after all of this. After a year of replaying every memory I have with you.” He says desperately, blinking away tears he’d never allow to pour down in front of you.

“What do you want from me?” You ask nearly as pitifully, fearing how much longer you can stand being around him. Your resolve can only stay so strong, even if you won’t admit that the memories of him have never once left your mind.

“A kiss.” 

“I’m with your brother.”

“One kiss.”

“One kiss and you’ll let me go back to work?” You ask hesitantly, already sensing thick tension building up around you. There’s nothing to stop you from opening the door and walking out, except Sunghoon could grab you.. and knowing him he would. He’d keep you holed up in here for another hour until you crack under his pressure and give into him. That’d be the worst case scenario, knowing in the back of your mind that you’d absolutely succumb to him if you stay in here alone with him much longer.

A small smile plays on his lips, nodding shortly. “One kiss and you’re free to leave.”

“But am I free of you?”

“No promises.” Sunghoon doesn’t bother to ease into the kiss. Making the first move to cup your face. He presses in, leaning his head in to align your lips. 

This kiss that he’s allowed to run rampant in his mind. This kiss that he’s craved for, pictured all of the different ways it would go. How you’d run into his arms, and he’d scoop you up. Maybe even some rain would fall from the sky, because surely even the Gods of the universe had to rejoice in this moment.

Only this is nothing as he dreamt of, this is better.

This is real. The barely there breathy moan that escapes your throat. The heat radiating from your mouth to his. The soft plush of your lips applying pressure against his as you kiss back. And you do kiss back, allowing the tip of his tongue to skim across the seam of your lips. He boldly takes the chance to push in more, eyebrows raised as your mouth parts open around him.

This kiss is more passionate, more intense, blooming life between his thighs. He feels mad once his tongue makes it past your lips, and he licks the roof of your mouth. Licks through the crevices, laps at your tongue. He can’t get enough, moaning as the taste of your saliva meets the back of his throat. He needs more, needs to know how swollen your pretty mouth can get if he keeps going. Pulling back his tongue and slurping, he latches onto your bottom lip. Sucking the plump juiciness between his, biting down harder than intended. 

Excitement builds fast, rushing through him at light speed and his hands. His hands slide down, they land at your chest, teasing the buttons of your blouse. And just like that your lips are gone, leaving him puckered up midair. Dreamily blinking open his glazed over eyes.

“H-huh?” 

The sight of the back of your hand dragging across your mouth is the first thing he sees. Drawing yourself away from him with a firm nod. You hold out a finger toward him and make your way to the door. “Stay right there.”

Sunghoon can’t ignore the way his chest swoops down to his stomach. His groin aches and throbs. Fuck if it isn’t taking every bit of his restraint to stop himself from chasing after you only to slam your back against that door before you can go anywhere. With clenched fists he listens to you, gritting his teeth.

“Will you allow me to call you now?”

“No.”

Sunghoon chuckles sarcastically to mask his pain. Having to hold himself up by clutching onto the entrance table. Practically knocked off of his feet after getting a small taste of you. “I figured as much. Well I always have your address.”

“Hoon.”

“What?” He acts stupid, blinking dumbly with a shit-eating grin. All of this is fake, an act to keep his tears under control.

“Do not show up at my home.”

“Oh don’t be so dramatic, that’s not my style..” he motions around himself. Indicating that he’d much rather track you down at work where he can at least enjoy a luxurious hotel suite. “I’ll be writing to you.”

“Writing??”

“Letters.” He nods surely, playing with the door handle. “I hope you’ll read them.”

Giving him a suspicious eye, you shake your head and begin to turn around to head back to your manager’s office. Scoffing and muttering under your breath. “Whatever.”

“Don’t be a stranger! Alright?” He calls out from behind you. Sighing to himself and dragging two digits across his bottom lip. 

Maybe you didn’t say yes, and sure, you didn’t seem as excited to see him after an entire year as he had hoped for; but one kiss held more than hope. Confirming that you still want him, still think about him. He’d cherish that kiss until you come around and finally accept to let him in. It’s not as if you’ve kicked him out, yet..

———————————-

‘I remember my first time in Paris, I thought to myself city of love? And wondered if I simply did not understand what love must really feel like. Dad had brought me along for a company trip, he wanted me to meet some investors, get my face recognized before I joined his side someday. I watched these old fat bastards chain smoke all night, rave about Parisian women dancing topless at Crazy Horse, drink as if tomorrow would never come. I felt no sense of love, only disgust as I sat there amidst wealth being mindlessly thrown around. 

And now I sit here in the city of love, and I sip on cappuccinos every early morning. I order the same flaky butter croissant from this adorable quaint café near my hotel. I take my time to people watch, relax and soak in the morning sun that has just risen, and I think of you. I think of love.’

He really did write you letters. Every week a new one would come in, addressed from one of your favorite aunts. The first to arrive initially had you excited, hoping she had shoved in a few hundred dollar bills after hearing that you’d been working. Maybe your mother had informed her that she hadn’t been transferring you quite as much anymore. The last thing you anticipated was a handwritten letter from Sunghoon.

Choking on your coffee as you began to read, you cleared your throat and peered around for Heeseung’s presence. Thankfully, he was too deep into his game to notice your wide eyes and the paper in your hand. Sunghoon had really sent you a Goddamn letter.. pen and paper.. what a fool.

You tried to hold back a smile as you continued to read upon realizing this was no mail sent from your beloved aunt. 

‘I think about you and how nice it would be to wake up by your side. To share my morning coffee with you, to cut a croissant for you. To simply take a stroll before I head into work and hold your hand. How much I’d love to see your face glow under this sunrise. I’d buy you flowers from the local vendors, take you on shopping sprees every weekend. We’d be regulars at the opera house, try out all the fine dining Paris has to offer. And when we’re up to it, we could go to the South of France, take the train out to Sweden, Denmark, wherever you wish to visit. That must be love, to enjoy and live through this life with someone who fills your heart.

-SH’

Thousands of feelings swarm around your head as you fold up the paper and tuck it into your pocket. Already planning to stuff it away inside of the jewelry box you only ever open to look at, to remember. 

“Babe, did you check out any of those listings I emailed you?” Heeseung calls out, not moving his eyes away from the computer screen. He leans in too close, jabbing at his keyboard. “Found some really good plots of land and houses that could benefit from a lot of refurbishing in Seattle. I think you’d really like the area.”

It’s been a couple of weeks now since your anniversary, since Sunghoon’s unwelcomed arrival back into your life. You never mentioned your night time visitor at work to your boyfriend, maybe out of fear. Worry and guilt as to how he would react knowing that his younger brother’s booked a suite at your place of work..

Heeseung likely wouldn’t have taken the news well, given your past and how sensitive the topic of his brother always is. You don’t walk on eggshells anytime he’s even alluded to in conversation for nothing.

“Uhm, no, haven’t had time, baby. You know work has been so crazy. Peak tourist season and all.” 

You’re not lying, work has been slammed. You’ve come home night after night completely exhausted. Also tense from looking over your shoulder, afraid and hopeful of the possibility to see a familiar face. It’s not that you want to see him, at least that’s what you’ve been telling yourself. You’re curious more than anything.. if he’d rear around the corner. If he’d try to bother you while working, what his next step could be..

It’s better this way. Keeping Heeseung clueless to his brother's current location, avoid any possible altercations, and there’s of course no need to mention the kiss. It didn’t mean anything.. you just needed a way out.

“Babe, our lease here ends in a few months. I really want to start planning for the move back.”

This has been happening nonstop for the last week. Even when you’re fucking he brings up moving, rubbing your stomach and mumbling about having kids. Reassuring you that he’ll land a high-paying job once you move. It’s a near guarantee thanks to his last name and father’s connections..

“We could go month to month..” you mumble, pretending to clean up around the kitchen. “You know, if we can’t find a place we agree on.”

The sound of his game pausing fills your living space in silence. Slowly turning to look at you, he tilts his head, eyebrows furrowed with confusion. “But then we’d be here even longer, and I thought—“

“I don’t want to move.” You should have let him know immediately. But impending fear of losing him kept you quiet. Nodding and agreeing to whatever he said as you went on ignoring his texts and emails about moving. Skirted around the subject whenever he brought it up again. Yawned and waved off the conversation in favor of getting to sleep, or taking a shower, anything to make him stop until he came to the realization on his own.

“You don’t want to move?..” moving to stand, he slowly walks over to you. Lips pulled down in a frown. “But I thought we were planning our future—“

“You.” Interrupting him, you anxiously ring your hands together. Knocking your nail beds against each other. “You were planning..”

“Are you—“ he breathes shallowly, reaching for his chest. “B-breaking up with me??”

“No! Hee, no! Not at all!” You fret, running around the kitchen island to grab his arms. “This is why I didn’t want to talk about this! I don’t want you to be upset!”

“So, you lied to me?” He sighs, head dropping. “You never wanted to move?”

“I didn’t lie.. I never told you that I wanted to move.”

“Then, then—why? Why not?” He sounds genuinely confused, tearing your heart apart. You tried to avoid this, didn’t want to have to ruin the peaceful relationship you’ve become accustomed to, too comfortable with. 

“I love living here, in Paris..”

“But it’s—we always complain about so many things! The sewer system, how fast the groceries go bad, the lack of convenient transportation!”

“You, you complain about those things.” Rubbing his arms up and down, you trail down to place your hands in his. “I’m sorry for not being honest. I don’t want you to leave me..”

Heeseung looks as overwhelmed as you feel, forehead wrinkled, lips tightened into a thin line. He sighs and shakes his head, pulling you into a hug. It’s not that you couldn’t make it work.. a long distance type of relationship, but for how long? 

There’s a chance you could wake up one day tired of this, missing your life back in the states. But there’s a higher chance you’ll regret letting him slip from your arms to start a new life without you in America. 

Silence and a tight hug consumes you for the next hour. Calming each other with soothing rubs up and down each other’s backs.

“Now I feel bad, like I’ve been pressuring you..” he mumbles into your shoulder. Squeezing you closer to his front. “God I feel like such a dick.”

“It’s my fault, seriously. You have nothing to feel bad about.” 

No. The only one who should feel bad is you. Giggling over some stupid letter that you should have tore up once you realized who it came from. You should feel bad whenever you’re by yourself, when your boyfriends at work, when you lock yourself in the bathroom alone; and you think about him. Replaying the kiss, the touch of his hands on you, the desperation in his voice. You’re the worst girlfriend, undeserving of a man as good as Heeseung.

“We don’t have to keep talking about this. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Pulling away to look at you, he really tries to force a smile to comfort you. “I was getting home sick, I don’t know.. it was stupid.”

“Not stupid.” You say apologetically. Sorry for things he’s not even aware of..

The rest of the day goes by awkwardly, needless to say. As much as you both continue to assure each other that everything’s okay, and everything will be okay; you know that everything has changed. 

Heeseung drops the topic of moving for the next few weeks, and he tries, he tries so hard to be the best boyfriend to you. Only setting in what a piece of shit you really are for holding him back, for keeping him here with you for your own selfish reasons.

He’s your first love and the thought of losing him keeps you up at night. Staring blankly out into nothing as you quietly debate with yourself over and over again. Weighing out the pros and cons of moving, of giving up your dreams to satisfy his. 

And through your inner turmoil, the letters continue to come. Never questioned by your boyfriend when you explain that your favorite aunt once lived in Paris when she was about your age. You’ve become pen pals sort of, sharing your experiences back and forth.

Another lie.

‘I told my French instructor about you, or well, perhaps I fibbed a little. Told him that I moved here for my girlfriend. She loves Paris, enchanted with the city. He’s really helped me out to improve the little bit of French I had learned back in high school. 

There’s this saying he spoke of when I told him about us. 

Le cœur a ses raisons que la raison ne connaît point

It means: The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing. 

Again, I think of you, I think of my heart when it comes to you. The reasons I think that I love you, how they run so deep that I am not sure I will ever begin to understand how we ended up here..

I hope you are well, and that someday you will understand that love is not one dimensional. Our hearts are stronger than we realize. Love you.

-SH’

These letters, they could be another way to manipulate you. Going on two months now, he sends one every week sharing tidbits of his life here in Paris. How lonely it is, how he’s used to being alone, and how even though you are not with him—he is with you.

And then he writes about her, and you have to ask yourself how far Sunghoon’s willing to go to mess with your head. How much of himself is he willing to open up and spill out for you. He claims to love you, shouldn’t he pour himself empty for you?

‘My mom passed away September 26th. The days coming up again. I don’t talk much about her, I know. I am sure my brother has told you enough, how I bawled my eyes out everyday as a child. How much I hurt all by myself. Maybe it’s true that people like me are some of the loneliest.

Someone like me who seems to have it all. That’s what a lot of the employees under me now say behind my back. I hear them, I listen to their snickering words. To their quiet whispers when I arrive and walk through to my office without acknowledging their feeble existences. They think I’m a fucking dick, they’re probably right.

I don’t blame everything on my mother. I pity her the same way I pity my brother. Both too weak to handle their emotions in a way that doesn’t ruin others lives. 

You told me I have love for my brother, that I don’t hate him, and you’re right. I don’t know how you read me so easily, but you do. It drives me crazy, the way you make me feel seen. I go through life with all these eyes on me, but none of them really see me. None of them are actually looking at me.

Ah, I am speaking nonsense, aren’t I? You probably haven’t read a single one of these. Maybe I’m starting to lose my last attachment to this fleeting hope. Not that this hasn’t been worth everything to me. To be able to see you again even if just once, to taste you one last time. I can’t believe I allowed love in only for it to hurt me. 

I wouldn’t take any of this back. I don’t believe I have ever let go of myself this much, the invisible armor I keep up. Thanks to you, I have learned to bring down my defenses.. I really do hate that.

Talk soon, I hope.

-SH’

Each letter dug a deeper hole inside of your chest. Sunghoon never gave you a return address, both of you know there were more than enough ways to reach him. You know exactly where his father’s company is located, his email, his phone number that remains blocked.

He poured more and more of himself into each one. And as much as it pained you to read, you felt the same butterflies or excitement each time another letter arrived in the mail. Hiding yourself at your computer desk to read every new one, muttering to Heeseung that you had some work to wrap up. 

This couldn’t qualify as cheating if you remained contactless on your side, right? Not that repeating that to yourself helped any with the guilt that continued to suffocate you. 

If only you could run to your mother with this problem, let out all of your anguish. How much you’ve been stretched apart by these two men. How they’ve split you down the middle and made you forget yourself.

If they weren’t your step-brothers she’d likely soar to the fucking moon after hearing news of your rapturous love life. Not even your mother had enough faith in you to believe that two Park men could possibly be battling to a bloody pulp to claim you as theirs and only theirs.

As fast as fall came, so did the crushing weight of reality. 

Heeseung’s smile rarely graced your days anymore. His laughter hardly filled your loft. And the uneasy strain between you never subsided. His sadness was hard to ignore and trying to only made you feel worse, guiltier, like such a terrible person.

“Hee, I checked out some of those locations you sent me before.” You mention over dinner. Feeling extra tense after reading another new letter from Sunghoon.

He’s officially moved into Paris, no longer residing at a hotel. His writing was full of excitement this time, cheering happily about finding a place. Insisting you come visit him one day to at least compliment him for hiring a fantastic realtor and scoring a decently priced house with a perfect view of the Eiffel tower. Decently priced for a millionaire, of course.

“Huh?” Heeseung asks, half paying attention. Half distracted by a game on his phone.

“Seattle, right? It’s nice and cold out there..”

Nothing like a humid sunny summer day in Paris, no.. 

“Wh-what? I thought you didn’t want to move.”

You don’t. At all.

“Worth looking at.” You shrug, biting down on your lip nervously. 

It’s not actually, and you’re being tortured by your own subconscious that won’t shut up about this. It’s all you can think about even while you fuck and have great sex. Heeseung’s accepting a future he doesn’t desire for you. And you? You’re greedy, selfish, benefiting off of his pain to fulfill your needs and dreams..

“You don’t want to leave Paris.” He nods firmly, reaching across the table for your hand. “You don’t have to lie to me.”

All you seem to do these days is lie. Lie after lie, failing to convince yourself that you only choose to lie to protect him.

You have to lie, because worse than losing him, you’d hate to be another person that’s let him down. Another comparison to his mother, father, brother, all those who have failed him before you..

“I don’t.” You struggle to say, throat welling up with tears. “But I’m scared. What does this mean for us?”

“N-nothing, I—“

“You’re unhappy.” Saying those words out loud rush tears to brim your eyes. Blinking the first batch out, they scold your cheeks on their way down. “You don’t like it here, you’re only here because of me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.” He appeals, sitting up. The game on his phone forgotten about. “I love you, I want to be wherever you are.”

“I know.” Sniffling, you squeeze his hand. Getting up to sit down on his lap and wrap yourself around him. “I love you, and I don’t want you to choose a life that was never meant for you.”

I’ve put you through so much Heeseung. That’s what you wish you could bring yourself to say. That you released his inner demons, went behind his back, selfishly expected him to fix all of your fucked up life himself..

“We can make this work, can’t we?” Heeseung’s first cry makes your heart sink. Clutching onto him, burying your fingers through his hair. You don’t want to ever let go, don’t want to accept the reality of your situation. That he may just be your very first heartbreak.

“Of course we can, baby.”

Lying isn’t always a bad thing, right? Sometimes we lie to spare others feelings. Like when your mother lied to you about cheating on your father, she knew you’d figure everything out in time. But you were too young to fully comprehend the gravity of the situation. She lied so that you wouldn’t hate her or blame her. You lied for the same reasons..

By October, Heeseung had packed up his belongings. The two of you agreed that this wouldn’t be permanent, only until you finish up school and get at least a year’s experience of work. After that was all done, you could revisit the whole moving back to America conversation. Of course you cried and suffered in silence, keeping yourself as calm as you could around him as the days went by. The second you locked the bathroom door to shower, tears would find their way out. You’d sob and cry into your palm. Hoping the shower was louder than your aching chest to drown out the sound of your sadness.

Your mother only side-eyed you when you begged her to not make Sunghoon aware of Heeseung’s departure back to the states. She didn’t pry too much, only clicked her tongue disappointed by the lack of a close relationship you had with her preferred brother.

The goodbye before Heeseung got on the plane to leave you spiraled you into a depressive state for weeks. Only forcing yourself to appear normal when he’d video call you appearing equally miserable. This was the promise you made to each other, to keep your relationship alive. Update each other daily, phone calls, scheduled video chats, texts throughout your days, photos, anything. 

And that worked, at first. Even forcing you both to learn how to get each other off in new ways. Video calls often turned steamy, positioning your cameras to enjoy the view of your private areas as you touched yourselves and moaned. Of course, it was never enough and you’d crawl into the bed he shared with you only 3 weeks ago to cry yourself to sleep

“This was for the best.” That’s what you continued to tell yourself. He was miserable here, already back to smiling big as he used to whenever he answers another video call from you. He’s doing better mentally despite missing your warmth by his side, and that’s what matters.

If you love something, let it go, right?

That’s what Sunghoon did.

Sunghoon.

His letters have piled up, the fourth one coming in today. You stare at them stacked on your kitchen counter sometimes. Trembling hands tempted to open each and swallow down each word like a crisp sip of wine. 

They felt similar. Addicting, butter, sweet, euphoric. To be let inside of someone that not many, if any, have ever been able to know so well.

Maybe this was the right decision for you and Heeseung, as much as it ripped you to shreds to go through with. He once gave up the only life he’d ever known for you, and here you are.. only giving him up.

There are times you listen to the sound of your heart beating only to make sure it’s there. You’re not a heartless monster for choosing yourself first. Neither of your parents were pleased with this news, especially your mother who has been urging you to move and follow along with your step-brother. 

‘At least Sunghoon lives out there now too. I don’t understand you kids, Europe is great for vacation.’

She also pestered you to contact him, to not forget that he is also your step-sibling. That you also should build a healthy strong relationship with him as he will be the one to likely inherit all of Mr. Park’s wealth when his time comes.

‘Heeseung’s wonderful, I was wrong about him.’ She mindlessly chatted with you, holding a yogurt covered spoon by her mouth. ‘I’m so grateful that he took all of that time to look out for you. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear he had a crush on you or some type of liking.’

She giggled over the silly idea, finishing her yogurt and ending the call. Not before scolding you to text Sunghoon.

You wouldn’t. Instead, you shoved his unopened letters inside of a drawer and decided to attend your job’s annual Halloween ball. Something that could help to lift your spirits, dressing up a little, dancing and drinking with your coworkers. Why not?

Heeseung encouraged you and helped you pick out an outfit over video call. Leaving your room a haphazard mess of tops and skirts, all types of tights and fishnets thrown about as you tried on various looks for him. The two of you agreed upon a deep blood red coat you purchased sometime last year at a street market that resembled a cape.

“That should be good enough to cover you up on your way over.” He gulped, nervously taking in the skimpy black minidress you chose. Cut low to enhance your breast shape, the fabric clung to your skin tightly showing off all of your shape.

“Good thing I work with a ton of girls, right baby?” You winked, blowing him a kiss. He pressed in closer to the screen whimpering.

“Send me a lot of pictures?”

“Of course, don’t have too much fun handing out candy without me?”

The two of you chatted for a bit longer before you had to let him go. It was already after 8pm and the party had been well on its way by the time you arrived. Many of your coworkers had been hitting the open bar hard, dragging you onto the dance floor right as you arrived.

Halloween tunes from Monster Mash to Thriller blasted through the speakers and everyone had fun dancing. Exactly what you needed, not some grungy Parisian club filled with men attempting to grope you all night. Just a good spooky time with the closest thing you have to friends in this lonely city.

This lonely city that you could run into just about anyone in.

Brava. Brava. Bravissima.

That jawline, those eyes, his curved lips. You’d recognize him regardless of the mask covering half of his face. He’s standing there across the floor, beneath the balcony creating a shadow down his face. Sharp gaze laser focused on you, unblinking, licking his lips when you finally spot him.

How long has he waited? How did he know, and why.. why is he wearing that.

The world really stops, slows down, becomes mute when you see him. That’s Sunghoon’s power over you and he knows it. Floating across the floor to you, he bows forward. The cufflinks on his wrist gleam, the white gloves covering his hands strike visually in contrast against his black suit. 

And that mask, that mask hiding half of his handsome features. This has to be a joke.

“Phantom.”

“Ah, you did not read my letters.” His tongue clicks, and you’re sure a hint of blush spreads across his one visible cheek. 

“I did.” You stammer, squeezing your eyes shut. “N-not the past few, been busy..”

“Well,” reaching out his hand, he smiles. “Trick or treat?”

“Is this not enough of a trick for you?” You can’t help but sneer, rolling your eyes as you take his hand. “What happened to not stalking me at my place of work?

“I’ll have you know I stayed at this establishment for a month. I was invited because I’m now considered a platinum club member guest.” Sunghoon leads you away from the drunken crowd of girls you’d been amongst all night. Head towards the center of the dance floor, his sharp canines shine under the low lights that scatter about the room. “Didn’t think you’d be here, job requirements I’m guessing?”

“Yeah.” 

Not necessarily, but that’s none of his business.

“Not allowed to bring a plus one?” He questions. Making his true curiosity very clear.

“Felt like doing a girls night.” You shrug, lifting his hand to look over his costume. “So, why this get up?”

“Why not? I’m in Paris. Felt like an appropriate costume.” He shrugs back, cocking his visible eyebrow. “Not a fan?”

“That’s hilarious..” you mutter. Falling in line with him as he leads you to dance. “Me? Not a fan of Phantom of The Opera?”

“Let me guess, you’re my angel of music?” He grins, turning you around. His free hand creeping onto your waist beneath your cape. “The mask I wear?

“Good guess.” Sticking out your tongue at him, you snort. “I’m a vampire, obviously.”

“Ah, well, your fangs seems to be missing tonight.”

“Oh? You must be a human to think so naive.”

“Could always bite me if that’s the case?” His smile widens, bending in closer. “Right on the jugular, suck me dry to the bone.”

“You’re too insufferable to pull off Phantom, you know.” 

Sunghoon can’t stop himself from smiling. He even laughs, pointing out a table nearby. “Join me? I do miss this back and forth with you, you know.”

“My coworkers are waiting for me.” You lie, beginning to turn away.

“Come on, I won’t try anything. Promise.” Holding out his pinky toward you, he nods at the table again. “We can’t chat? Like old time friends?”

“We’ve never been friends, Sunghoon.”

“You’re right, whatever we are is so much worse.” He chuckles. Seemingly amused just to be in your presence. “Please? For a little bit?”

“Fine.” You know better than to give him an inch. Sunghoon only knows how to take more and more, but you can’t deny how human he seems now. Those stupid letters go to you.

“Honestly, had no idea you were a fan.” He holds out his hands in defense. Lips dragging down at the corners. “I thought about being a ghost and the Paris opera ghost came up while I googled. Tell me that’s not too perfect.”

“Well, I’m a big fan.” Easing up around him, you stir a tepid drink around. Mostly nursing it instead of drinking. He has to sit close to hear you as music blares, and you try to ignore how good the cologne he’s wearing smells. “It’s probably weird.”

“No no no! Tell me all about it.” Sunghoon couldn’t look happier to be talking to you. Crossing his arms over his chest proudly, he motions for you to continue. “I’m familiar enough to understand.”

“It’s just a really good romance. A tragic one, but good nonetheless.” You shrug, looking over his costume again. “Maybe I’m a sucker for love triangles.”

“I think I’ve caught onto that.” He snorts. Drinking the last sip of his beverage. “Is it like a team Edward or Jacob thing for you?”

“Pfftt.. don’t compare Phantom to that.”

“Well? You must have been on the good guys side. Raoul, right?” Sunghoon taps his chin. “I mean, you know, he was no Edward if you ask me.”

“Can’t stand Raoul.” You mumble. “He wasn’t really that good of a guy.”

“Pftt, tell me about it.” He scoffs under his breath. Lifting both eyebrows at you. “And Phantom, he’s just one hell of a man, huh?”

“You see, I get it. I understand why it’s only implied that Eric and Christine got it on.” You begin to explain, over-using your hands to distract from how awkward this conversation has become. “But, like—it wasn’t enough.”

Sunghoon grins, eyebrows mockingly bouncing up and down. “You little trollop.”

“Trollop?!” You guffaw, rolling your eyes. “You clearly have got to get back to America.”

“No no, don’t try to change the subject.” Snapping his fingers in your face, he nods for you to continue. “Go on, tell me about how you wanted Gaston Leroux to go into extreme detail about Phantom clapping Miss Daaé’s cheeks.”

“Ugh, it’s not that vulgar.” His smile only increases the more you lie and brush around the topic. Blowing out a long gust of air, you stomp and pretend to whine. How the conversation took a flirty tone is beyond you. “Fine! Fine okay! I dabbled in reading a few erotic Phantom of The Opera novels.”

“Do tell darling.” Sunghoon leans in, highly amused. “Got your shit off to some freaky phan-fiction, did you?”

“You’re seriously annoying.”

“I have to know,” he pouts, humming. “How was it?”

“I mean, Christine..” you trail off, bypassing his gaze. “She never really wanted it, I mean she did. But she didn’t—like she..” the tightness budding in your throat causes you to pause, locking with his gaze. “She did, but she acted differently. He really had to make her his..”

His head tilts, cheek dimpling with an arrogant glimmer in his eyes. “Sounds like my kind of girl.”

“Oh yeah? Since when has your style been the difficult type?”

“Sometimes you need to meet the right one to know what you’re looking for.” 

Sunghoon smiles, nodding toward the exit when you don’t keep the conversation going. “The nights still young, want to check out the Halloween parade?”

No. You shouldn’t, but you want to. So you nod and follow him out, keeping your arms pressed tightly against your sides.

Reading letters was definitely a form of emotional cheating, but this, this had to be worse. And deep down inside you knew after this night that Sunghoon Park would never leave you alone. He’d lurk in the shadows, haunt your dreams, chew away at your heart until he could swallow the last beatz

Maybe the darkness that surrounded him reached out toward you for the hundredth time, and maybe you let him in to finally meet yours.

———————————-

~seven years later~

The Eiffel tower is a magnificent sight at night. Lights glow all over the city, reflecting off of the water around. These days you spend a lot of time simply absorbing, taking in the grandiose landscape. 

When morning comes you sit down with a cup of coffee, decaffeinated tea as of late. Stirring a cube of sugar until it melts with the hot water, and you take a deep breath. Paris is romanticized in the media, in reality it’s nothing too special. What makes the city special is the people. From the different street vendors, cafe owners, angry bike riders shouting curses, the snooty designer brand employees bustling and rushing to work. There are certain quirks to the city of love that at times make you laugh.

Because here you are, reminiscing on these last few years. 

Heeseung had moved back after some time, and you couldn’t have been happier. Taking advantage of the short period of time he had no job, you would venture off to other parts of Europe. Finally visited the Swiss Alps during the Winter season. Everything was as beautiful as you always dreamt of, even more with him by your side.

“What are you thinking about right now?” Deep warmth vibrates against your throat. Pressing soft kisses up the side of your neck, he nips at your ear. Complimenting the diamond earrings he’d gifted you on your last anniversary.

“How much I love it here.”

“Can you believe that you almost left?”

That’s right, the flight to Seattle had even been purchased. Making it all the way to your gate before you broke down and cried. The life you’d made in Paris was everything you ever wanted growing up. And he was everything your heart needed. 

“I don’t think you were ever supposed to move back.” Wrapping around your waist from behind, he flattens you back to his chest. Large hands gently resting on the top of your stomach. “I knew ever since that first time, the way your eyes lit up when you stepped off the plane.”

“I hadn’t even left the airport yet.” You scoff, layering your hands on top of his. The sturdy build of his chest eases some of the weight off of your knees, utilizing his strength to lean against. “And I never wanted to leave after that.”

“That’s why I’m here.” Squeezing your hands, he slides them lower to cup around your protruding stomach. Slowly easing your interlaced fingers beneath your bump. “That’s why we’re here.”

Ah yes, there’s three of you to consider now. 

Now, how did this happen? How did you get here? What do your parents think? 

For one, they don’t know.

‘We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.’ He shrugged, ever the type B personality. He never stressed much about anything the way you did. His only stress ever seemed to be you.

‘We hardly ever see them anyway. A few holidays that they make their way over here. What’s my father going to do? Disown me?’ He spoke arrogantly as ever. Smiling cockily and spinning you into his arms to follow him through the living room when you ran in holding a positive pregnancy test.

You’re not even married.

‘You’re having my baby. It’s about damn time.’

God knows he’s been trying to get you knocked up for months now. And maybe he’s right, you’ve worked despite him insisting he can afford to take care of you without your paychecks. But now seemed like the appropriate time to relax, be a stay at home mother.. buy fancy strollers and baby Chanel ballet flats. If you have a girl, of course.

“You ready darling? I know how much you love to stand out here and admire the pollution but we do have dinner reservations.”

“Do we have time to walk?” You ask hopeful, batting your eyelashes. 

“Ahh—“

“Please?”

He’s been such a hard ass ever since you started showing. Making new rules everyday of what you can and cannot do. “I know it’s not far, I saw the confirmation email.”

Clicking his tongue, he playfully glares at you. Rubbing your stomach. “Can’t ever just let me surprise you, can you?”

“Please? Who knows how much longer I’ll be able to see my own feet, let alone walk without waddling.”

Busting into a smile, he nods and directs you to follow him off of the balcony back inside of the house. First, you have to put on a coat, of course, it’s too chilly outside for you to only walk around in a dress. The baby could catch a cold, that’s what he says while getting your arms into a peacoat.

“Already miss wearing my high heels.” You frown at the flats that have begun to take over your closet. Led down the elevator to exit onto the street. His large hand finds yours, taking slow steps to not rush you. Making more effort with his longer legs to keep a light pace.

“Hey, those are $7000 shoes you have on.” He scoffs, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “They’re cute.”

“Yeah, they’re cute.” You pout, watching your feet walk down the cobblestone toward the center of town. The convenient location of your ridiculously expensive house was prime real estate, located close enough to everything you’d want walking distance to. 

“They’re cute, you’re cuter.”

“Ahh, you little—“

“Hey.” A nervous smile plays on his lips. Coming around to take a few steps ahead of you, he reaches for the front of your coat and stops you. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

“Sunghoon.” You say flatly. Sensing heat climb up your chest despite the crisp night air. “You know I hate when you do this.”

His smile trembles more, biting on his lower lip. “Do you love me?”

“God, I wish I didn’t.” You sigh to hold back a smile. Turning away to not look at how the tip of his nose reddens. The Eiffel towers not too far now, right to your side.. a near perfect spot for..

Him to get down on his knees as he has when you turn back to look at him. 

“I asked you once before if you’d marry me.” His teeth chatter, not from the cold breeze. Blinking at the moisture that rapidly fills his eyes. “You said no.”

“Hoon..”

“And I kept that ring.” The same box from years ago opens up in his hand. The ring he thought screamed your name from the first moment he spotted it in some outrageously priced jewelry store. “I meant what I said back then as much as I do now.”

“You’ve always been crazy.” You manage to say through the wetness filling your throat. Clasping your hands to your face as a sob comes out. 

“Is that why you love me?” Sunghoon’s icy complexion flushes pink. A single tear trickles down his cheek, and his eyebrows scrunch together. Chest beating wildly waiting for you to deny him once again.

“One of the reasons.” You nod, draping one of your hands under your stomach to hold your dress down. “One of many.”

“Do you think that this time, I’ll get the girl?” He asks wearily, holding the ring up. “Will you say yes? Will you spend your life with me?”

“I think that you’ve always had the girl.”

“Good, because I’m nothing without her.” More tears pour down his face. Digging the ring out of the jewelry box, he takes a hold of your hand. 

“Marry me?”

After all of this time, all of this running away, all of these feelings you denied. There is only one answer.

“Yes.”

———————————-

THE MORE IS READ THE MORE SHOCKED IT GOT WHEJKSKSKSKALSSN OMG JAY BABE???? WDYM „ring we picked last time“ ???????

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐁𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 – 𝟓𝟖

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓: 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧

↬ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

↬ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬!𝐀𝐔, 𝐂𝐄𝐎!𝐉𝐚𝐲, 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

(A/N: we literally only have two chaps and the epilogue left this is CRAZY 🤕 thank you guys so, so much for all the love and support, am sending everyone kisses pls accept them as a form of gratitude 🥺 i love you all sm💞 feedback is always appreciated!!!💞🧸)

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