This!

Valkyrie Cain

As always with these SP para posts, there are spoilers for the Skulduggery Pleasant series below. Also, I’m putting in a trigger warning for discussions of mental issues, unhealthy coping mechanisms and drug use. Stay safe!

Valkyrie is part of the Rouges Paracosm and comes from the Skulduggery Pleasant book series. Some of her close friends, especially Tanith Low, call her Val. She is a sorcerer and has practised a number of magical disciplines like necromancy and elemental magic. However, she has developed an unusual set of powers which include energy-throwing and sensitive magic. Valkyrie is bisexual and is dating a woman named Militsa Gnosis. She used to date Fletcher Renn. She is Irish and lives in County Dublin.

Valkyrie is tall and very muscular. She has long, dark hair and dark eyes. She has a “tattoo” which is actually a symbol which was carved into her arm in order to help her defeat a certain enemy. 

Valkyrie wears a lot of black clothing. She has a jacket, tailored by her late friend Ghastly Bespoke, which is incredibly durable and able to block bullets, blades and other weapons from breaking through and hurting her. Although she is not all that fond of traditionally “feminine” clothing, Valkyrie does not entirely shy away from wearing skirts and dresses, but she usually only does so at formal events.

Valkyrie, like her friend Skulduggery, is witty, sarcastic and has a dry sense of humour. She too is a great detective and very intelligent. Valkyrie is quite defiant and doesn’t respect authority figures without good reason to. She doesn’t suffer fools gladly and always speaks her mind. She went through many traumatic events throughout her teen years and has developed quite a few mental problems related to depression, anxiety and possibly even PTSD. Because of this, Valkyrie has gained some not-so-healthy coping mechanisms. She uses “splashes of magic” which are, to put it simply, the sorcerer equivalent of nicotine patches. As well as a music box which puts her in a trance-like state for hours on end and stops her from experiencing intrusive thoughts.

This is amazing!

I am still here

A/N: Dexter, Valkyrie Mini Drabble. No spoilers, all hypothetical.

“What do you have to say for yourself?!!” 

Dexter looked up slowly, groaning from the pain in his back as his body protested against his movement. He hissed when Valkyrie hit him against the shoulder, her knuckles cracking pretty harshly into his collarbone. “God DAMN IT, Val…” He bit his lip and smoothed his fingers over the sore spot. 

The black haired fury before him could barely contain the white lightning in her eyes. Dexter felt something drop inside his stomach at the sight of her distorted face. Her quivering bottom lip made him realize how tired they’d grown of losing each other. How much fear they carried inside themselves. Fear of having to grieve even more than they’d already had. 

Dexter moved his head away from the Doctor’s inspection which she accepted with a sigh. He was sitting on a chair in the Sanctuary. They would have taken him to the medical bay, but he had refused. Even though a house had fallen to its ruins on top of him, he was sure he’d be okay. He had to be. 

With his sad, blue eyes he looked up at Valkyrie in all her trembling, angry, fearful form. He had seriously scared her. Carefully he tried to reach for her wrist, but the muscles in his arms weren’t happy about that. Valkyrie noticed the slight shaking in his shoulder and that furious, suffering expression of hers turned even worse. 

In a haste, she took a step back, staggering slightly. “You are the worst, the most insufferable idiot, the absolute worst, you hear me!!” 

Dexter’s shoulders slumped slightly. His short fingernails were digging into his palms as he clenched his fists. “I was protecting you.” 

“Well, guess what!” Valkyrie shouted in response. “I don’t need protection!! You know very well, that I am by far much more powerful than you are!! That house dropping on top of me?? Maybe I would have come out unharmed. But no, you had to push me out of the way to almost get freaking killed!!” 

Dexter stayed silent, as Valkyrie tried to regain a normal breathing pattern after her hysterical sermon. He felt a burning feeling inside of his throat and he was certain it for once wasn’t to blame on the remnant Daquesse had pulled out of it. “Maybe.” 

Valkyrie lifted her head out of her hands and looked at him imploringly. “What?” 

“You said ‘maybe’ you’d come out unharmed.” 

Valkyrie bit the side of her cheek. 

Dexter closed his eyes for a second and managed a short smile. “It wasn’t much of a choice, you know. I just did it. I just pushed you out of the way.”

Some of the fury vanished from Valkyrie’s eyes, making more space for the aftermath of her fear: the tears. “You- you-” she choked out, fighting the need to cry that was rising in her throat, “you almost got yourself killed.”

“No.” Dexter said quietly, gently. He had a hard time gulping down his emotions himself. “I am still here.” 

Valkyrie continued her inner battle against the tears, until Dexter opened his right arm as far as he could, inviting her to make sure he was still alive and well for herself. That little offer of a hug was all it took to make the sobs break out of her. Dexter suppressed the groan of pain that almost escaped him when Valkyrie’s body slammed against his own in a bone crushing hug. Considering the fact that his ribs were definitely cracked and his shoulder had been dislocated until mere minutes before this, he was doing a good job at biting it all back. Admittedly, it did soothe some of Dexter’s pains to bury his face in Valkyrie’s hair and breathe in her scent of life. He could imagine that it worked the other way around as well. 

They were still here. They hadn’t yet turned into ghosts. 

Everything in Harry Potter is the same except he has a cool aunt like Marisa Tomei’s rendition of Aunt May in Spider-Man.

You´re right, him possessing Val would make kinda sense... I mean she´s the Child of the Faceless Ones and he claims to be a direct descendant from them Faceless Ones, so maybe they have some kind of connection? But with that logic he could also take Alice...

On the other hand, I always thought that Auger would die and Omen would take his place as the chosen one. It seemed like a typical Dirty Laundry plot twist. That could still be possible if Auger was possessed by the Unnamed. Then Omen could finally have a real hero arc and also it would create so much drama if he had to fight his brother. 

For the ask: (SoW Spoilers) What is your theory about the Unnamed? Do you think he´s really dead? I can´t help but feel like his arc has not finished yet. I mean there was this huge build up with his resurrection and him being like the most powerful sorcerer ever and then he just died. It seemed way too easy, but on the other hand at least his ( well Caisson´s) body has to be dead, since the obsidian blade vanished it. So I´m thinking, maybe before he died he possessed Auger? What do you think?

oh shit dude. i kinda skimmed over that whole part bc a) i was so upset about saracen and b) it kinda felt a bit rushed and confusing towards the end. you definitely raise an excellent point about his buildup, and i don’t think he’s dead either. he just can’t be, right? as for theories, yours is a good one, and maybe he could possess val, which might explain the whole alice vision.

Clarabelle: If I wore a shirt inside out, the entire universe would be wearing the shirt except me.

Kenspeckle: Congratulations, you just explained Gödel's theorem in a single sentence.

Real definition of serving the planet AND serving cunt at the same time.

This is so pretty!!

China, 6? Or Tanith, 5?

China at a formal gala. 

This made me sad, because it is so true :(

I still remember hero worshipping Val and Skul when I was younger (I guess to some degree I still do) and now that I´m older I´m seeing all the flaws in their characters and their relationship... I guess Val did, too, in phase 2 and that´s a part of what caused her depression... Growing up sucks 

Hey, I just saw your post claiming Val and Skul's relationship is an unhealthy one. It confused me. Can you explain? (I feel like I have to clarify that I am not criticising you, I'm just genuinely curious since I've never heard this opinion before.)

[ kicks down door ]

Hi there :D

I’d just like to say that on some level, D.Lands planned this relationship while writing them. I personally believe around the fifth or forth book. Or it at least became more apparent.

It should also be noted D.Lands has a “”“"thing”“”“ on some level for age gaps.

Anyways, there are a few things wrong with the relationship.

One thing is the giant age gap. Skulduggery has never, to my knowledge, admit he was mentoring Valkyrie. He has always called her his partner. However, it is clear who hold the power in the relationship.

Skulduggery is a wealth of knowledge and adult experiences. He has lived several lifetimes-worth. You can see this ; Valkyrie doesn’t even know how to drive, let alone anything of the “world” he introduces her to. She relies on him for access to this world, to feel “adult,” in a sense. To teach her magic, yadda yadda.

The real issue here is that Skulduggery can be seen as “grooming” Valkyrie.

I mean grooming in this sense : Valkyrie is rewarded with something she wants ( access to this world, exciting adventures, magic ) by acting a certain way.

You can see this behavior in the first book: she didn’t want to let the death of a room full of people to affect her, because she wanted to be seen as “brave” in Skulduggery’s eyes ; not a child or a 12-year-old.

On some level, Skulduggery didn’t want an actual child following him around. If she had burst into tears ( like I know I would have at twelve ) he would have immediately changed his decision to let her follow around. I remember vividly how weirded out Skulduggery got when Valkyrie cried after her TOOTH got knocked out of her HEAD. I think she was 13 or 14 at the time, but he literally doesn’t know how to react when Valkyrie actually acts her age.

Not to mention, Skulduggery encourages her to not attend school, or interact with people her age. This is on top of the fact Valkyrie never tells her parents about Skulduggery or his tutoring ; she has no insight from actual adults who would see immediate red flags at how Skulduggery is treating her. ( This is also why I headcanon Melissa as low keyhating Skulduggery / not allowing Alice to participate in the world. )

She also mimics her behavior off of Skulduggery. In the first book, she is much quieter, in wonder, rather dorky. She thinks she’s really cool ( as all twelve-year-olds do lol ) and Skulduggery subtly makes fun of her. For instance, telling her about octopus-people or whatever, telling her that it’s funny some people ( the unlucky ones who DON’T meet a cool skeleton ) die without knowing about magic.

By the… third book, she is snappy and sarcastic and biting. She becomes reserved with people her age, haughty with others. Not to mention, Skulduggery pretty much talks for the both of them to EVERYONE, bringing Valkyrie along just for funsies. ( This is acknowledged in-text by various people. )

She models her behavior and actions off of Skulduggery to get his approval ( that is, more sarcastic, more stoic, etc. ). Not to mention, he explicitly comments on her “tight trousers,” mocking but at the same time rewarding her ( by noticing her ) for wearing them. Concerning stuff from an extremely older man in any other context.

He also buys her expensive things, like a room in his house, new clothes, etc., partially rewarding, partially to have her around him more.

I fully blame Valkyrie’s modeling on Skulduggery as the reason for her breakdown. She has never seen ( or really interacted ) with someone who shows emotions like a normal, functioning adult. She has never seen Skulduggery cry, or even get scolded for his actions, and she has seen this as THE behavior to emulate.

And then she’s suddenly the destroyer of the world, and she doesn’t have the ability to handle that. Weakness / evilness is something bad, to be looked down upon. She was scared she was going to mess up big time, and she didn’t tell Skulduggery because he’s never scared, and he would have never befriended her in the first place if she was EVER scared, or admitted to it.

But even then, she doesn’t have the structures in place to handle large emotional burdens.

AND ALL THIS IS FINE IN A NARRATIVE SENSE, EXCEPT :

1) The age range this is marketed towards ( young adult ) IS EXACTLY the age where this sort of grooming behavior begins.

2) IT IS NEVER ACKNOWLEDGED IN THE TEXT THAT THIS IS A HORRIFIC POWER DYNAMIC, IDEALIZES IT, SETTING BAD EXAMPLE FOR TARGET MARKET.

Your one exception is Kenspeckle ( the bae ), who vividly hates Skulduggery ( for good reason ) and loves Valkyrie, but this is NEVER explained. The above power dynamic was clear to Kenspeckle, not to Valkyrie or the readers. It came off as Kenspecks being a total douche for no reason, or the “grumpy father who disapproves of his daughter’s boyfriend.” When in reality, Kenspeckle is the ONLY ADULT who EVER realizes the situation Valkyrie is in, and tries to help her.

3) That codependency thing…

AND NOW, TO THE CRUX OF THE MATTER. This grooming is exactly why Valkyrie is codependent upon Skulduggery.

To recap : Skulduggery is the one who introduced her into the magical world, shaped her view and experience of it, and who continues to be her main access to this world.

Skulduggery, and Valkyrie’s want of this world, shaped Valkyrie’s behavior by : encouraging isolation from children her age, her parents, gentle but suggestive mocking, inappropriate comments, rewarding with his “”“time”“”“ and ”“”“attention”“”“.

Valkyrie, in a need to please Skulduggery : changed to become more like Skulduggery, models her behavior off Skulduggery. This includes : haughty behavior, superiority, isolation from friends and family, emotionlessness–or as closes as she can get, options on topics, places herself in danger to please Skulduggery, and going out of her way to learn about topics to feel she “impresses” Skulduggery and “fits into” the world.

( Not to mention, she is ALWAYS hesitant to discuss her personal, romantic relationships, because this might piss him off and he’ll cut her off. )

Literally, her whole life ( magic, personality, occupation ) comes from Skulduggery. She NEEDS him as a constant source of validation for this behavior, as well as a constant model to go off.

Hence : codependency. She needs him.

Skulduggery, meanwhile, likes Valkyrie because of her “innocence.” She knows nothing about his past ( blank slate ), and is literally in love with him and his style and his WORLD. This pleases his egocentrism. This is why he lets her follow him around. Because she adored what he introduced to her, and he is her number one source for continuing to learn, and she adores him.

Skulduggery is dependent on her for his ego. She is dependent on him for… a lot.

So, anyways, that’s why it’s unhealthy.

And that’s why I made that post ; I know that young readers ( like I was when I started ) see nothing wrong with the model presented in the books. Hell, when I started reading the books, I wanted EXACTLY what Valkyrie had. I wanted to be special, and hot, and smart, and have attention from adults.

The books ( and D.Lands by extension ) pretty much endorses it, shows why it’s bad, AND NEVER EXPLAINS WHY VALKYRIE WENT OFF THE DEEP END IN THE LAST 2 BOOKS.

Skulduggery emotionally stunted her. All that fear, and rage, and mostly, mostly self-doubt because she had FEELINGS, manifested in Darquesse.

Because Darquesse is what Valkyrie wanted to be. Untouchable. Emotionless. Powerful.

And that’s HOW Darquesse took over. She always insulted Valkyrie, offered violent solutions some part of her thought SKULDUGGERY would suggest. But mainly ? Darquesse just created self-doubt, until Valkyrie began to rely on her ( this emotionless powerhouse ), and then took over.

( This also falls into my headcanon that Darquesse’s voice never went away, just the power. Valkyrie still craves to be emotionless ( as Skulduggery taught her ) and powerful. So she doesn’t have to be human, so she can be COOL, like Skulduggery, and not be scared and afraid. It’s this smothering of emotion that led to Darquesse’s creation, anyways. )

But mainly, D.Lands NEVER EVER explained why Val and Skul’s relationship was unhealthy. Fuck, the books condone it.

This is also why the fandom reacted so viscerally to D.Lands dating a super young fan. It’s one thing to idealize, another to see it happen in real life, and realize the books condone that behavior.

( Just throwing it out there I ship Val // Dug so I am aware of these problems. That’s why it’s important for me to ship but also point out the problems. )

Anyways, please PLEASE let me know if you have any more questions. :)

STAR WARS CELEBRATION 2020 ART SHOW | Premonitions “Leia, away from the busyness of court at the capital city of Alderaan, has taken the Tantive IV to the Royal family’s country chateau. This ancient, stately residence was made centuries before the capital city’s construction. Although the ancient stones show many years of wear, it remains a place of strength, peace, and solace for the princess. And yet, Leia has a sense of danger and melancholy in her heart as she looks at the setting sun descending behind the towering cliffs. Perhaps it is because this is indeed the last time the princess will look upon her beloved homeworld.” — Jerry Vanderstelt

Teacher: Stephanie could you take out the trash?

Valkyrie: *pulls out gun*

Teacher: NO, NOT LIKE THAT!