So Are We Gonna Talk About How Unnecessary Saracen´s Death Was?! 

You can now find a rework of my aftermath series on AO3 :)

On of the less intuitive things about love, I've found, of any kind, is the importance of needing things.

I didn't realize it until recently, but I've always seen love as something requiring sacrifice, selflessness, patience, and generosity- to ask for nothing is to be the best person I can be, small and quiet and never in the way, always happy and helpful, self-sufficient and present when desired.

It's only as an adult, now, that I'm beginning to see the selfishness of wanting nothing.

I cut my friend's hair in my kitchen the other day. They wanted a trim and I had the skills, so I offered, and was genuinely excited when they stopped hesitating over "bothering me" and took me up on it. It was a peaceful afternoon, and we had tea and chatted for an hour or more.

My brother and I shared popcorn at the movies a while ago. When I came time to pay, I pulled my card out like a wild western sheriff and slapped it on the machine before he could fight me for it first. The satisfaction was delightful.

Someone called me crying on the phone the other day. Kept apologizing for disturbing me at work, talking about how they were bothering me on my lunch break. I was telling the truth when I told them that really, I was flattered and honored and relieved, knowing that if they were hurting I would know, that I didn't have to worry in silence. It felt good to hear them slowly come down, and to know that they knew it would be better soon, and to hear them laugh wetly on the other end. We're getting together for a visit next week.

It's hard to need things, if you've trained yourself not to. It's hard to want things, when you don't know how to want anymore. Trusting people is difficult, and so is relying on them, but I don't know where I'd be without the people who rely on me.

I've heard a lot of people say, "Nobody will love you unless you love yourself". I've had a lot of thoughts about it. It's not right, but it's not wrong, either, I think.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... I've always taken that to mean, "You will not be lovable until you develop a positive view of yourself as a person".

Now, I think it's sort of inside-out.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... because nobody can show their love to you in a way that you can accept until you treat yourself kindly, and learn what you need, and what you want, and how to ask for it, and then give that vulnerability away.

Love, for me, is someone I ask for a ride to the airport. Whether they end up doing this or not is irrelevant.

It's not needy, or selfish, or taking up energy. It's giving the gift of being wanted, and needed, and thought of. It's giving someone the security of being part of someone's life.

Also can’t y’all just imagine Dexter’s face when Valkyrie said “I’m with Luke on this one. They sound the same to me.” 

Why the heck did I give this post a like?? This is awful and making me really sad :( 

Just thinking about how Dexter is completely alone and everyone he loves is dead and knowing Landy he's probably going to die soon and if he does it'll probably be for a pointless reason

It is so nice to know that none of the people I know irl know of this blog

Anti anxiety.

Well, thanks for tearing my heart out all over again. This is beautiful. Dexter and Saracen deserved some closure.

Me writing fanfic in 2020? More likely than you think.  I wrote a short fic about Dexter and Saracen in seasons of war so if you guys would give it a read that would be very nice thank you. I haven’t written fic in years so let’s hope I’ve remembered how to write

Know I’m a little late getting into the bandwagon lads but seemed like a good time to post this.

Anyway go read Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy for a much better story and magic based society. Also it’s set in Ireland and the main character, Stephanie/Valkyrie is best friends with a walking, talking, fireball throwing skeleton who drives a Bentley from the 50s and does nothing but talk complete snark. Good Omens fans would enjoy immensely.

New one-shot up on AO3

Leia confronts Luke after his fall to the Dark Side.