This.

Have you ever found a song that redefines you in a way that you can't imagine having ever not heard it before?

LITERALLY THIS!!!! They just pick whichever one fits the box they already put me in fits best

when i tell people i use any pronouns interchangeably and they keep trying to find out the Right One to default to

this is exorsexism.

S w i r l y

-VENT-

I grew up being told to hug family I didn't want to and was low-key treated like a doll to be dressed up/act however they wanted. No input from lil ol me.

I love cuddling but get overwhelmed really easily, so it's easier to just say I don't like being touched; but that's not true! I just don't want to push someone away and hurt their feelings so I just say I don't like it. I feel intrinsically guilty at expressing boundaries, but also know that they are important and have improved on doing it anyway. Physical affection and compliments are incredibly hard for me to accept and I get nauseated whenever being told positive things. It was always a manipulative tactic (and some people in my life are still like that). Now I have a very strict touching boundary. I'm proud I can do that for myself, but I do wish I could just cuddle on the couch with someone in a platonic way, and then get away from them without it being a big deal. I'm sensitive to smell, touch, lights, and sound like a LOT. So many people have gotten butthurt about me not liking their perfume or being uncomfortable when they get in my bubble. I give good eye contact, but responding to things is tough for me. I give a lot of thumbs up like 🙂👍 and some people think it's a disrespect thing. It ain't, I swear! If I don't know how to respond, I have no issue saying that! Like "I don't know how you want me to respond" or "Very nice".

It gets tiring constantly having to justify myself to myself, let alone to other people. Like yes, I don't wanna handshake, high-five, or hug. No, I actually don't know how to keep conversing with you or respond to your joke, I'm sorry. Especially since I work with customers all day, I get a lot of backward moments bc I can't always get the tone when someone is actually upset or joking, so I do a lot of head tilts or "very nice" and "no problem" And some people do NOT like that at all, others get embarrassed on my behalf. Doesn't help that I wear a mask, but I mask less when I'm wearing it (ironic I know)

Anyway, I'm good 😂

Making friends is both the most difficult, full-body cringe inducing thing; and the most rewarding important puzzle piece of life that just solves so much big-sad energy you might have

Sometimes I tune back in and look around like "This is happening? Okay."

I did this like 2ish years ago, but I still like it 👍

Why does my body have to be political, why does my gender have to be a fight, why does my sexuality have to endanger me, why does my mental health have to be both infantilized and demonized?

days off aren't long enough. you're telling me I have two days to do everything I can't do bc I work in two days? one of which I'm exhausted and mentally repairing myself, and the other I'm mentally preparing myself for the bullshit all over again???? ☹️

My body craves the stars while my bones crave the earth; my mind is torn between the interstitial and I just wanna ✨ v i b e ✨