While Many People Think Of Sexuality As Something That Is Innate And Fixed, The Modern Concept Of Sexual

While many people think of sexuality as something that is innate and fixed, the modern concept of sexual orientation is actually a relatively new idea. For example, homosexuality was invented in 2014 when Yoshino "Nanjolno" Nanjo and Kusuda "Kussun" Aida performed Garasu no Hanazono for the first and only time live at the Saitama Super Arena as part of μ's →NEXT LoveLive! ~ENDLESS PARADE~

Sex-repulsed, sex-averse, sex-negative: all different!

The terms “sex-repulsed”, “sex-averse”, and “sex-negative” are sometimes used synonymously, but they actually refer to three different things.

Spectrum 1: Philosophical

Sex-negative <—————————————————> Sex-positive

This spectrum is philosophical / ethical / moral; it depends on what you think is right or okay, rather than what you personally feel an instinctive urge to do.

Sex-positive people believe that sex is, in general, an okay/good thing. Consenting adults should be able to have as much sex as they want. Cool. Your body. You do you. Nobody else’s business! Enjoy that sex if you want!

Sex-negative people believe that sex is often or always a morally bad or tricky thing. There are a lot of situations in which consenting adults should not be having sex. There are a lot of rules governing sex. If you have sex in a way you shouldn’t be, there will be bad consequences.

This is a spectrum. There are a lot of people who fall in the middle of this spectrum. Many people have certain situations in which they think sex should not be happening.

Spectrum 2: Personal emotional

Sex-repulsed <—– sex-averse —— sex-neutral —–> sex-favorable

This spectrum is personal / emotional. It has to do with someone’s personal feelings about sex, not about their philosophical beliefs about sex.

Sex-repulsed people are disgusted or upset by the thought of anybody having sex. Descriptions of sexual activity, discussion of it, images of it, sounds of it, etc, may cause them negative reactions, often visceral ones: feeling sick to their stomach, anxious, panicked, etc. Some sex-repulsed people have sex-related trauma histories which may be a cause of their repulsion, but some do not.

Sex-averse people don’t mind the discussion of sex, or when other people have sex, but they don’t like the idea of having sex themselves. They may or may not get viscerally grossed out or upset by the idea of having sexual contact themselves. They want to not have sex.

Sex-neutral people are cool with themselves having sex, but they may not necessarily seek it out. Their feelings about having sex are basically in the “meh” category.

Sex-favorable people enjoy having sex and may seek out sex as an experience. Sex is, for them, a desirable thing.

This is also a spectrum. A person may feel averse to sex in some situations and positive to it in others. And obviously, nobody wants to have sex with ANYBODY in EVERY situation.

That covers the difference between sex-repulsed (upset / grossed out by the idea of sex in general), sex-averse (do not want to have sex themselves), and sex-negative (have negative philosophical or moral beliefs about sex).

But remember: there are many spectra, and things can get complicated! It is possible for a person to be both sex-positive and sex-repulsed: they are personally grossed out by the thought of people having sex (sex-repulsed), but they believe that people have the right to have sex if they want (sex-positive). It is possible to asexual and sex-favorable: a person can experience no sexual attraction (asexual) and still enjoy sex (sex-favorable). It is also possible to be allosexual and sex-averse or -repulsed: a person can experience sexual attraction (allosexual) and still be upset by the thought of sex (sex-repulsed) or not want to have sex themselves (sex-averse).

As a reminder, there are other spectra at play here:

Spectrum 3: Sexual attraction

asexual <———- gray-asexual / demisexual —————> allosexual

Asexual people experience no sexual attraction; gray-asexual people experience little sexual attraction, or only in certain situations (like demisexuals); allosexual people often experience sexual attraction (though, again, nobody is sexually attracted to EVERYBODY!).

Spectrum 4: Libido

no libido <——- low libido ———- mid-libido ——–> high libido

This refers to how often you feel physical sexual urges. Libido may be satisfied by sexual contact with others, by masturbation, or not physically satisfied at all. You can have an asexual person with a high libido (they do not experience sexual attraction, but they frequently experience sexual urges), and you can have an allosexual person with low to no libido (they experience sexual attraction, but they rarely or never experience sexual urges). Some people experience low libido because of hormonal or health problems; some people just have a naturally low libido.

And this doesn’t even get into things like the different kinds of attraction (sexual, romantic, sensual, aesthetic, platonic)! There are many spectra that people, both allo and ace, can fall along. While it’s okay to have philosophical / moral disagreements with people on when sex is okay (spectrum 1), it’s not okay to reject people because of where they fall on the other 3 spectra discussed here. That would be the same as rejecting people because of where they fall on the homosexual / heterosexual spectrum.

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7 months ago

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