there should be a public holiday for sitting down and listening to albums for the first time in dark rooms
โI feel such a creative force in me: I am convinced that there will be a time when, let us say, I will make something good every day, on a regular basis....I am doing my very best to make every effort because I am longing so much to make beautiful things. But beautiful things mean painstaking work, disappointment, and perseverance.โ
โย Vincent Van Gogh, The Letters of Vincent van Gogh
the city where we live doesn't allow public barbecues so my brother fucking welded a grill to a handcart and now hosts "chill and grill sessions" where he sends all his friends his live location so they can hunt him down on their bikes with sausages in their backpacks while he carts it around evading the police like some sort of barbecue vigilante, grilling on the run. i have never been prouder of him
feeling like all your friends have much more fun with each other than with you
being relieved at accomplishments rather than feeling a sense of achievement
feeling like you're missing when you're alone, but when with other people all you want is to be alone
anytime you say a bit too much you feel like you've overshared and should literally keep shut all the time
anytime someone laughs you immediately assume its about you or directed at you
you hate being humiliated in even the tiniest way
the moon knows
being good at things is not the point of doing them!!!!!!!!! anything worth doing is worth doing poorly!!!!!!!!!
To ๐ the ๐ค Dark ๐๐ซ Lord ๐ I ๐๐ know ๐๐ฎ I๐ฐ will be ๐๐ dead ๐ long ๐จโ before โ you ๐ read this but I want you โฟ to ๐ฆ๐ know that it was I ๐ฐ who discovered ๐ your ๐ฆ secret. I ๐ have ๐ stolen ๐ the ๐ฏ๐ฐ real Horcrux and intend to destroy it as ๐๐ soon ๐ as ๐๐ I ๐ can. I ๐ค๐ face death ๐ in ๐๐ฎ the ๐๐ต hope ๐ that ๐ญโ when ๐๐ you meet ๐ฏ your ๐ฃ match you will ๐ ๐ฅ be mortal once ๐ฏ๐ฉ more. ๐ ฑ R.A.B
Friendly Advice
Decide your major early. And don't tell anyone about it. At least not your teachers or people who will change your mind. It's application week here, and I was close to banging my head against the wall. It's not supposed to be difficult until you make it difficult. So, do what you wanna do. You do know it. You just need to shut off the noise that keeps telling you what you "have" to do.
I cannot believe there's absolutely no way to watch free shows and movies anymore, there are too many paid streaming platforms and pirating websites have viruses and ads preventing you from watching it uninterrupted((.)) id rather follow the rules and purchase media moving forward because it is too inconvenient. Seriously, free and no ads or viruses with 1080p streaming is DEAD.
rip vincent Van Gogh you wouldโve loved studio ghibli