I Came To The Realization That Heather Looks Just Like Piers, And That Is Why I Can't Stop Staring At

Chobits - Your Eyes Only Artbook

credit/source

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I feel like I didn't take enough pictures lol. it was such a gloomy and rainy day, but still so fun. nothing like staring up at the trees in awe. I love trees.

✷ JOKER ✷

I went out with my cousin. We only went out for coffee and some light walking around. It was fun it’s nice to get out and just walk around the city and not have to run errands. This week was a long one of just me running a around from place to place like a headless bird ugh. My cousin was trying to persuade me to move to New York when she does next year lol. It’s a scary idea for me but I'm not opposed to it. I would have to leave everything behind and start over again, and I'm so scared. But I'm also so tired of my current life it’s so draining and I feel so alone. Plus I have no idea what I would be doing in NYC, career wise. 2024 as a whole has been such a weird year for me. I realized that I had been doing almost everything wrong my whole life and it’s tearing me up inside. Saving money wrong. Making friends wrong. Eating wrong. Doing my hair wrong. Just overall living wrong lol. Sigh I'm trying to not be so hard on myself. Trying to convince myself that 2024 can be the beginning of something good. But it all  just feels painful. Anyway on to less depressing stuff. We saw a lot of fun stuff today, a lot of cute doggies, I should of took pics of them. I went to this interesting thrift shop, at least I think it was, everything was Hella expensive. They had this really cool painting in the back. And these giant amazing lamps, it was so cool. I can only dream of owning it. After  that we shopped for books, I'm trying to get all of dungeon meshi. I wanted to buy them all at once but buying them individually is fun too. I love the covers so much. It still amazes me how much I've come to love dungeon meshi, all thanks to my sister lol. It’s not a series I would usually get into, because I'm so picky sob. It’s probably gonna be a long lasting favorite for me.  Then we went to this house of oddities type of place, I forgot to get the store name. It was really cool but the inside smelt so bad like death lmao. There was a large coffin in the front of the store. I couldn’t stop taking pictures of everything I must of been annoying lmao. They had some really cool bug taxidermy frames, they were so pricey lol. But I would of loved to have some. Maybe in my future home.

Frame within a frame

by elliothawkey

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My sister Graduated.

It was an really awful day, nothing could prepare me for it lol, I was completely shocked by it. I mean it's been days now, she graduated in the 9th of May and I am still thinking about this horrible day. Like what could I have done to make this day anything else than the day that it was. And the answer it nothing lmao, because I wasn't the one causing the problems. Maybe if I write about it, I'll think of it less. I just keep thinking this day was gonna be an easy day, I literally didn't have to do much of anything today, just get to the place and sit and watch my sister walk.

It started off fine. I was in a good mood because I had figured out my outfit for the day, and I really liked it, I thought it was so simple and cute and not to eye catching. I had an outfit planned for this day, but I wasn't feeling it last minute, the weather and my outfit weren't matching to me, it was raining all morning. So I was able to put something new together and it made me feel good, I felt in high spirits I guess lol, it made me realized that a good outfit can really save the day lol, because it kind of did help this day, if I had hated my outfit I would of left the arena early lmao.

Long story short, I was micromanaged all day, for a good chuck of this day. Me and my sister were micromanaged, and it was so infuriating. I didn't even want to go, I just went because my sister wanted me to go, and I really didn't have plans that day. I did want to be supportive of her, I am proud of her, it was a big accomplishment. I felt like this day should of been about her, her day to relax and take her awards. She worked for it.

But the person we were with made it all about themselves. Nothing we did that day was good enough. They just kept having to nitpick at us. They couldn't say one nice thing to me the whole day, and at dinner they were talking to me like everything was sweet, like they weren't being a asshole to me all day. They're the type of person who will say some really awful things to you in a really bad way and think they are speaking from the kindness of their heart and are doing you a favor. and it's like no, you are an ASShole.

And I was just so confused all day. I was really drained of energy I didn't know how to react to any of it. I wanted to walk out of the arena so bad and go to the movies lmao. But I knew that my sister would be like WTF. I kept wanting to be happy for my sister, kept trying to turn my mood around it was not working. My sister was mad, I was mad, my brother was mad. The day had been made lol.

The only good thing out of this day was the Graduation itself. This lady coming up to me and telling me my outfit was pretty😭. And when I got home I got ready for bed and went to sleep 🛏 lmao I was done with this day.

I must change my life so that I can live it, not wait for it.

— Susan Sontag, Reborn: Journals and Notebooks, 1947-1964