“You Got A Cute Butt”

Jealous Of Holly ~ Min Yoongi

Your smile was weak as you watched Yoongi walk into the bedroom, watching Holly follow his every footstep into the room. You were hoping for one night, just one, where you could cuddle up to Yoongi without having any interruptions.

“Are we falling asleep as three tonight?” You questioned, watching Yoongi shut the door whilst pointing to the bed for Holly to jump on. As soon as he did, he made his way to Yoongi’s pillow, almost completely ignoring you.

“You don’t mind, do you?” Yoongi smiled in reply, “I think someone’s feeling a little bit needy.”

“When isn’t that certain someone feeling a little needy?”

Your comment caused Yoongi’s eyes to narrow as he kept his eyes on you whilst making his way across to his wardrobe. You paid no attention to him though, staring down into your lap, keeping the corner of your eye on what Holly was doing beside you.

“You don’t mind Holly falling asleep up here with us, do you?” Yoongi asked as he pulled his pyjamas out.

“I guess not,” you frowned, trying your best not to hurt Yoongi’s feelings with your own frustrations. “Holly’s a part of the family, of course, he should stay with us too.”

Yoongi’s head shook, pulling out his clothes before taking a seat at the bottom of the bed, “are you sure that you’re really alright about this Y/N, you seem a little…annoyed?”

You didn’t want to seem annoyed or irritated by Holly, most of the time you loved having him around, but during the evenings, you just wished for a little bit of space. Holly’s habit of cuddling as closely to Yoongi as possible left you feeling left out, with distance between the two of you every single night.

To begin with you’d hoped it would just be a phase, that he’d get bored and find a new spot to lay in, but after three weeks, you were beginning to tire of falling asleep by yourself, almost as if you should be in a completely different room and giving the two of them their own space.

Despite how irritated you were though, you knew that having Holly around didn’t bother Yoongi, he loved having you and Holly in the room. The one thing that he failed to see, which you always hoped he would see was how far away he slept from you every night, barely even able to find the room to hold onto his hand.

“Are we going to play this game tonight?” Yoongi challenged, “I’ll break you down until you tell me what it is that’s on your mind.”

“It’s no big deal,” you lied in response, looking away from Holly and out of the window in an attempt to calm yourself down.

As he followed your gaze, Yoongi soon picked up on what the problem was. His eyes landed on Holly who was busy washing at the bottom of Yoongi’s pillow, shuffling slowly across to your side of the bed to start innocently placing a wedge between the two of you.

“Do you want me to put him downstairs in his bed?” Yoongi suddenly spoke up.

“No,” you whispered, knowing without even looking what he was on about, “this is just as much Holly’s house as it is mine, it’s probably Holly’s even more.”

“But this isn’t Holly’s bed like it is yours.”

Your shoulders shrugged as Yoongi stood up and moved around to be in your eyeline again. “I shouldn’t be getting jealous over a dog; this is stupid anyway.”

“No,” Yoongi frowned, leaning down beside your end of the bed, “he has been a little bit clingy recently, I’ll admit, and maybe that has meant that I’ve not been able to be around you.”

“I can look after myself, I’m human, but Holly’s a dog, he needs you.”

Yoongi’s head shook back at you, refusing to let you play down your feelings. He got it, even if he hadn’t always made you feel that way, as he thought, he knew that the distance had been growing, he had just hoped that it would be something that would pass.

“Why don’t I go downstairs and bring his dog bed up, see if he’ll sleep in it up here knowing that we’re still around?” Yoongi offered, “it might get him off the bed.”

“Don’t you think he’ll just jump back up,” you sighed in reply, glancing momentarily across to the dog who was slowly pressing behind you, “it’s you that he wants.”

As far as Yoongi was concerned, it was worth a shot anyway as he made his way downstairs. The two of you needed your space still, no matter how big of a part of the family Holly was, his time had to be shared more equally.

The moment Yoongi arrived back in the room, Holly was looking up, noticing something familiar in his arms. Yoongi placed the bed down beside his side of the bed, tapping it gently to try and encourage Holly to give it a look.

“It’s just your bed, remember how fluffy and soft it is?”

After a few moments of encouragement, Holly jumped down into the bed, positioning himself right by Yoongi’s hand. You rolled across to be able to take a look at what was going on, noticing Holly beginning to settle on top of the material.

“There we go,” Yoongi whispered, slowly lifting his hand out, hoping that it wouldn’t encourage Holly to move. “How about you try and sleep down here tonight?”

“He still doesn’t look completely convinced by the idea.”

Once he was changed and into his pyjamas, Yoongi slowly slid across into the bed, keeping nice and quiet as he turned the light off in the hope that Holly wouldn’t notice him, not even looking in his direction to risk making eye contact.

He knew that Holly was still comfortable, even if he wasn’t going to be pressed against his chest for the night. But most of all, Yoongi could tell that you were a little more settled not having something separate you both again.

“How’s this?” Yoongi whispered, reaching underneath the duvet to take a hold of your hand, “I forgot how comfy it could be just the two of us.”

“I still kind of feel bad,” you admitted with a chuckle, “I didn’t want to force Holly to sleep down there, I just wish that he wouldn’t sleep right between the two of us. Can’t you put his bed at the bottom of the bed or something?”

“He’ll be alright,” Yoongi assured you, “he’s slept in worse places, remember the makeshift bed that we had for him at the studio once, that was horrendous.”

Your head nodded in reply to the memory, “sometimes I think he’s still bitter towards you for making him sleep in Jungkook’s stinky jumper.”

Despite your hurt at being pushed aside at night, Yoongi knew that you still had a soft spot inside you for Holly. You were the first one up to take him for walks or filling up his food dish when it was mealtime. But Yoongi knew too that space was needed for you both, even if Holly didn’t always agree with that.

“I reckon he’ll be bitter towards you now,” Yoongi teased, squeezing your hand, “I’ll make sure he knows who put him on the floor.”

“You were the one that got his bed,” you reminded Yoongi, “if anyone here is to blame, it’s you, you’ve got a habit now of this.”

“Maybe he’ll just end up hating both of us.”

—

Masterlist

KINKTOBER 2022 by enluc !

a month full of nsfw content , im not new to writing tumblr but i’ve never participated in kinktober ! — there’s only a few rules : minors do not interact this entire masterlist includes nsfw content aka smut. your consumption is your responsibility ! and last but not least if you don’t like it, don’t read !

extra : mostly all of the writings are dom!idol x afab!reader / gn!reader ( y/n has a vagina ) this was heavily influenced by @jaylaxies ! if anything is the same feel free to send an ask and let me know bill change it <3.

taglist — to be added send in an ask with the certain members / idols you want to be added on to. ex. enluc id like to be added to beomgyu / txt kinktober posts !

day one — sex with yeonjun

day two — somno with heeseung

day three — handcuffs with soobin

day four — mirror sex with jake

day five — first time with beomgyu

day six — friend with benifits with jay

day seven — temp play with taehyun

day eight — sensory deprivation with sunghoon

day nine — exhibition with heeseung

day ten — mutual masturbation with taehyun

day eleven — morning sex with jay

day twelve — overstimulation with heeseung

day thirteen — thigh riding with yeonjun

day fourteen — voyeurism with jakehoon ( threesome )

day fifteen — corruption with beomgyu

day sixteen — pet play with soobin

day seventeen — edging with sunghoon

day eighteen — face fucking with taehyun

day nineteen — breeding with heeseung

day twenty — size kink with jake

day twenty - one — head with soobin

day twenty - two — fingering with sunghoon

day twenty - three — sex tape with yeonjun

day twenty - four — polaroids with jay

day twenty - five — marking with soobin

day twenty - six — praise with jake

day twenty - seven — kitchen sex with jay

day twenty - eight — pool sex with beomgyu

day twenty - nine — shower sex with taehyun

day thirty — orgasm denial with sunghoon

day thirty - one — dumbification with heeseung

ENLUC 2022 ©️ do not copy , repost or translate my work.

can't believe he's not just a fever dream of mine but a real person... {cr. namuspromised}

FREE MY MAN HE AIN’T DO NUN WRONG 🗣️🗣️

😎²

i ❤️ hot nerds (l.dh, n.jm) — preview

PAIRING. pervert!nerd!haechan, pervert!nerd!jaemin x popular!fem!reader  GENRE. smut, slight fluff CONTENTS. explicit smut (kissing, fingering, oral (receiving), titfucking, breast play, lots of drool and spit, overstimulation, snowballing, dirty talk, rimming, anal play, missionary, riding, mating press, breeding/creampies) WORD COUNT. 8.7k; teaser wc: 525 words SUMMARY. when your professor pairs you with the two smartest students in your class for a group project, you find yourself making an interesting deal with them. or, alternatively: the one where you have to help two nerds learn to get girls so you can pass your class. PLAYLIST. n/a NOTES. remember when i said i was up to something with these two? this is it! the full fic is already posted on my patreon here, and i’ll be posting it in full to tumblr on september 30th!

“You don’t get it—we need to be fuckable!” Haechan stresses, and you roll your eyes in exasperation.

“Haechan, you’re already fuckable.” you explain calmly, and he opens his mouth in preparation for some witty remark, but after processing your words, his eyes widen and his mouth hangs open uselessly, his accusingly pointed finger now pointing meekly at the floor at an angle. 

“I—So—so you would fuck us?” he stammers, and you nod slowly, looking from him to Jaemin.

“Why do you think I let you get away with your numerous dorm violations?” you snort in amusement, and he blinks hard.

“I thought you just took pity on us, y’know? Like you had a soft spot for nerds or something.”

“I don’t have a soft spot for nerds.” you answer. “I have a soft spot for hot nerds, though.”

His mouth opens and closes pathetically as his normally quick-witted brain scrambles to process the information you’ve just presented to him. Jaemin is quicker to act, sitting forward so suddenly the move could be considered as predatory, and you’re not sure if it’s the lighting reflecting off of his glasses or what, but there is most definitely a glint in his eye as he regards you, his lips gradually stretching into a toothy grin.

“So you let us get away with stuff? Because you like us? Like what?” he questions, and you tilt your head to the side as you think. 

“Your candles, for starters. Haechan’s tapestry, your many many noise complaints from your neighbors when you two get too heated as you’re gaming,” you start to list off on your fingers, and you cross one leg over the other, not missing the way both of their eyes shift to your newly exposed skin and how… hungry they look. “The way you—” you point at Haechan, “always try to get away with looking up my skirt.”

Haechan’s face flushes a pretty shade of red, and you smile, amused, as he scrambles to defend himself. Before he can, you hold up a hand to silence him. 

“Haechan?”

“Yes?” he replies meekly.

“If I minded, I would have said something by now. I certainly wouldn’t have kept wearing skirts and accidentally flashing you.” 

His eyes roll back into his head with a whimper and he nods in understanding. 

“And you—” you round on Jaemin, who’s still perched like a lion about to pounce, and the male just smiles wider, tilting his head to the side curiously.

“What about me?”

“You probably think you’re slick with the little lingering touches on my back and waist when you’re ‘trying to get by,’ but I only let you do that because I like it.”

His grin widens more than you even thought possible, the glint in his eye now unmistakable. “Oh, yeah? Where else do you like being touched?”

“I mean,” you hum, uncrossing your thighs and smiling as both of their gazes hone in on the space between your legs, “I could tell you, but I think you’d rather have me show you.”

“I have a better idea,” Jaemin murmurs, moving towards you slowly. “How about you let us find out?”

reminder that the full fic is already posted on my patreon if you don't want to wait!

Enemy ‖ eight

Taehyung rethinks his actions while you have a hard time dealing with them.

⤑ word count: 9.2k ⤑ pairing:  taehyung x reader ⤑ genre: smut, friends with benefits, non-idol!au, fuckboy!taehyung ⤑ warnings: 18+ minors dni! discussions about sexual acts ⤑ prev. chapter ‖ next chapter ‖ series masterpost ‖ updates ⤑ read on AO3

you can find the masterlist here and share your feedback with me here, if you want to. if you enjoy reading my stories, please consider supporting me using buymeacoffee. thank you! :)

Taehyung ran up the stairs and barged into the room as fast as he could, sweat washing over him as he thought about all the things that could have gone wrong in the meantime. A sigh of relief left his mouth when he realized that your clothes were still there and that no freaks had entered the room in the meantime. Well, except him, but he was the type of freak you were okay with. Maybe not anymore, but that was yet to be determined at that point.

“It’s me!” Taehyung shouted loud enough for you to hear him since it was obvious you were still in the bathroom. “I’ll watch the door.”

You didn’t say anything back, but Taehyung heard you turning on the water. As he sat on the bed and listened to you shower, he realized that Yoongi was right: he was a total asshole who was so full of himself and this idea that he was so much better than everyone out there who let themselves care about others. 

“But why do I care?” Taehyung shrugged. “You don’t stay around after a hookup, right?”

Yoongi’s eyes turned into slits as he gave his friend a glare that gave off exactly what he was feeling. “You care, Taehyung, whether you like it or not. You want a deal with this girl because you don’t want her to be with other people. You’re mad at Hoseok for interfering, which is totally fine if you want her for yourself, and you’re mad at yourself for being unable to admit it,” Yoongi explained while shaking his head at Taehyung, acting like he was disgusted with what he’d just heard. “All this time, I’ve been trying to get you to realize it, but you have to fight me every step of the way.”

“I’ve never said that,” Taehyung was quick to respond, refusing to admit to something that could have easily been true. Yoongi knew him well, and there were a lot of things to unpack in what he’d just said.

“Oh, really? You didn’t tell me you two were exclusively fucking each other?”

Ah, Yoongi slipped up. Taehyung saw a chance and took it. “Fucking and dating aren’t the same thing.”

“Yeah, I get that, trust me. But when was the last time you took a girl out for breakfast after having sex with her? Never. The last time you let someone spend the night at yours? Never. You spending a night and the morning with a girl? Unheard of,” Yoongi said in a spiteful tone, stopping just to raise his eyebrows at his friend. “But here you are, breaking all your stupid rules for this super sweet girl who seems to be able to look past all the nastiness you exude and likes you for who you are. And then, to get back at me and prove me wrong, you treat her like she’s cheap and replaceable when we both know she isn’t. Otherwise, you would have already replaced her a long time ago.”

“Maybe.” Taehyung shrugged, wondering why he felt terrible all of a sudden. “She’s a nice girl. But our deal is about sex.”

“You don’t know how to treat someone you like with respect. You really think a woman who cares enough about you to let you fuck her over and over again will be okay with you doing that to her and then walking out. How are you this emotionally stunted, man? Who hurt you?” Yoongi placed his hand on Taehyung’s shoulder and patted it. “I’m telling you, if you don’t go upstairs and talk to this girl, your deal is off for good. But, I think that’s better for her unless you do something about the way you’re acting.”

Taehyung huffed at his friend. Wasn’t he already making a fool out of himself by treating you a lot better than anyone else? “I don’t know what else to do other than treat her like I’ve been treating her.”

“Really?” Yoongi leaned in, an inch away from his face, and grimaced. “You don’t know how else to treat her!? You can’t wait for her to shower, hug her, kiss her, hold her hand, take her out for burgers again, or just walk her home? You don’t know how to do that, right. All you know is how to fuck because you’re an irresistible guy, and the rest of us are losers for caring about people.”

“I never said that.” 

“Well, you meant it, and it’s coming to bite you in the ass. Know why? Because now you don’t even know how to explain to yourself why you’re feeling like shit, and I can tell that you are because you haven’t had one comeback to all of this and you’ve dropped the snarky facade, which only happens once in a blue moon. Go up there and grovel, man, and tell her you actually like her...”

Not long after, right when he was in the middle of replaying the conversation with his friend, you walked out of the bathroom. You weren’t naked, as Taehyung expected. Instead, you wrapped the towel around you and walked out to get your clothes, which he had already collected and placed on the bed for you. It was the least he could do.

“Hey,” you said and grabbed the clothes, walking back into the bathroom to get dressed. You denied Taehyung the chance to see you naked again, which wasn’t something he was used to from you. Clearly, he fucked up, like Yoongi suggested. Everything about the exchange felt cold, which was crazy considering how close you were just earlier.

A while later, you walked out of the bathroom completely dressed, and Taehyung realized that most of your make up was gone. Earlier, you had eyeliner and mascara on, he was pretty certain. Now, it seemed like the liner was gone and there were some remnants of mascara, but nothing too noticeable. Why did you already remove it? Unless…

“What’s wrong?” Taehyung decided to be the first one to speak, realizing you two just had to have a conversation about your thing, whatever it was. It was either that or not speaking again—it was obvious from the way you seemed to be shying away from him. Not letting him watch you get dressed, not looking him in the eye, not talking… The signs were there. Taehyung was a lot of things, but he wasn’t stupid.

“I’m just tired,” you lied, eyes focused on the door as if you were just dying to get the hell out of there. Yet, you didn’t move from your place.

“Are you sure?” Taehyung gave you another chance to be honest with him. That was your deal, right? All you wanted was honesty.

“Yes,” you responded curtly, not even looking at him.

Taehyung didn’t know what to say to that. To him, it was very obvious you were upset and didn’t want anything to do with him. It was also obvious he wanted to talk it out, yet you didn’t want to give him a chance. He asked you, twice now, and you pretended everything was fine.

“Why are you back?” you asked, breaking the silence, and Taehyung left a sigh of relief. Finally, something.

“I shouldn’t have left in the first place.” That was honest, completely. He shouldn’t have gone out and left you here alone.

“Ok…” You nodded, crossing your arms over your chest and tonguing the inside of your cheek, looking like you’d rather be anywhere else. 

“I hate this,” Taehyung grunted and sat down on the bed, shaking his head. He did hate it, all of it. That was exactly why he never got involved with people—it all got too complicated. “Can we just talk?”

“Hate what?” The spite in your voice didn’t go over Taehyung’s head. You clearly decided you weren’t going to help him out at all here, and he kind of had it coming. The night was going great until he got scared of Yoongi being fucking right.

“You looking at me like that, us being this weird…” Taehyung explained, hoping you’ll understand without him going into detail. “We’re always honest with each other, right? And you don’t seem honest now.”

“You mean honest like you were when you told me you just wanted to go home earlier?” You did it again, smacked him in the face with his words, made him feel like a fool for even bringing something up. “Because you’re still here. How was that honest, then?”

“Oh… I… I’m an idiot,” Taehyung nodded and looked at you, not even trying to come up with an excuse. He was a total jerk, yes, and he had to admit it to you if he wanted you to forget this ever happened. The room suddenly felt so small and stuffy, like it was suffocating him.

“Well, that’s a good start.” You sighed and looked away again, letting your eyes wander all over the room, but never looking directly at him. It made him feel small, Taehyung realized, you not even wanting to look him in the eye. Did he really fuck up that much? It wasn’t even that serious.

“I know, I fucked up. But I came back,” he pointed out, hoping that would get him some points at least. It was more than he would have done for anyone else, and that had to count for something.

“It doesn’t really undo anything, does it?” You spread your arms, getting visibly more frustrated with Taehyung by the second, and he wasn’t sure what to do about it. He wasn’t good at arguing with people, especially not when they were upset, maybe even hurt. That was the worst thing about it for him—seeing you almost in pain because of something so stupid and pointless he did.

“It doesn’t,” his voice almost failed him, so Taehyung swallowed the lump in his throat and decided to be as honest as he could. “All this Hoseok stuff really fucked with me.”

“Why?” You grimaced and finally decided to look at him, even if only for a second. “It’s between me and him and it’s stupid. I didn’t want you to get involved. In fact, I specifically asked you not to because it’s something I can handle. You picked a fight with him on your own.”

That was true, you were right. You never asked him to talk to Hoseok, threaten him, or stand up for you—that was all Taehyung’s doing. Why he did that was still a bit unclear to him, but he felt a need to. He couldn’t just let your ex whatever-he-was say those things about you and get away with them, it felt unfair. But, everything that happened after the fight Taehyung picked with the guy was on him. It was just because Hoseok found a way to get under his skin, and it had nothing to do with you.

He cleared his throat and spoke, “I know, but I didn’t want him to tell you these things because they’re not true and he’s just bitter.”

“You don’t have to look out for me. I know Hoseok and I know how to talk to him,” you spat the words at Taehyung, reminding him once again that you and Hoseok had a different type of connection, one that you could never have with a guy like Taehyung. It was his own fault. After all, Hoseok may have called you a slut in anger, but he’d never walk out on you like Taehyung had. 

Since he didn’t say anything to that, you went on. “So Hoseok’s the reason you did that and then just left and made me feel like the dirtiest whore out there? Yeah, let’s blame Hoseok!”

“I…” What was he supposed to say? It was so much more complex than that. It wasn’t Hoseok and the things he said about you, it was all of it together—you two being close, you three fucking, Hoseok wanting you, Taehyung being unable to be a normal person, Yoongi telling him exactly that. It was all too much. Shit like that never happened to Taehyung, and you didn’t seem to understand that. None of it was like him, and it just confused him.

Taehyung quickly got up and took a step towards you, reaching out to grab hold of you. However, he quickly gave up on the idea and pulled his hands back because he realized it wasn’t what you wanted. The last thing you needed was him touching you after what he’d done. He fucked up, big time. “No. It’s all of this.” His voice came out a lot weaker than he intended it to, but he couldn’t help it. It was difficult to admit.

“What? The deal? You can’t do it?” you asked before chuckling, but it wasn’t a happy kind of chuckle. No, it was more of an I-hate-your-guts kind of chuckle, one that Taehyung was used to by now, just not from you. “If it’s that, just tell me. I won’t get hurt. I’ll get hurt if you treat me like shit, though.”

“No, no. It’s not that, I can do it. The deal works as it is,” Taehyung nodded as he spoke, hoping you’d understand that he really wasn’t tempted to fuck other women. Yeah, he could do it, but would it feel as gratifying as fucking you did? Probably not. So, why take the risk and lose a pretty good thing? 

Yeah, that was exactly what you two had—a good fucking thing, even if a bit messy and fucked up and not what other people would go for. Did other people even matter? Taehyung sighed when he thought that mostly because he had let other people get inside of his head.

You scoffed and shook your head, your lips trembling—with anger or hurt, he couldn’t really tell. “Then what is it? I just don’t get you.” You looked at him like he was an asshole, and he deserved it. “Like… Why? Why all of this? You say you want it, then you don’t. You fight Hoseok, then you can’t do it.”

Taehyung gulped but couldn’t get himself to say a word. The truth was, he was having a hard time explaining it to himself, deciphering all the things he was feeling, all the things he said and heard, and putting them all into words that made some sense. He needed time to process it, he’d needed it for a while now, but it was easier to bury his head in the sand and hope for the best.

You, however, didn’t seem to have time to wait for him to make his mind up, and he couldn’t blame you—you have every right to be pissed off. “Ha, so much for being honest!”

“No, listen—” Taehyung sighed and realized it was now or never. Maybe you’d get it. “My friend has just been getting inside my head lately with all this talk about me having this deal with you because I never do this. And he’s been trying to convince me that I care about you, you know, like I want to be with you and I am jealous of Hoseok and all that, and it just got to me,” he spoke without pausing, watching your eyes widen as you listened, hearing his own voice falter, become weak. “He said I give you special treatment, that I don’t treat you like I treat everyone else, and that it’s obvious why. So I, being the asshole that I am, realized he was right and that I give you special treatment, so I treated you like everyone else.”

Then, Taehyung realized that your eyes were welling up with tears and that you decided to rub them before they fell in front of him. You were too proud to let him see you cry because of him, but that didn’t make him feel any better. Of course, he didn’t want to see you cry, but not because it would be uncomfortable—it was because Taehyung would know he was to blame for it, and that’s something that would have made him feel bad. No matter what kind of a guy he was, he really didn’t get off on making people cry, especially people who have always been nice to him like you have.

“It’s stupid, I know,” he went on, feeling the need to keep talking, unable to bear the silence and the sight of you almost crying because of something really idiotic and meaningless he did. “I really fucked up and I do feel bad about making you feel… Bad.”

“Taehyung, I don’t need or want you to care about me that way. You made it clear that you don’t and that you never will,” you said, your voice shaking. “But I do expect you to care for me as a person. Fuck buddies should be on friendly terms, right? I’m sure you wouldn’t treat a friend this way.”

He reached out to touch you, but you moved away, denying him the comfort of your touch. “Please, don’t, not now.”

“It won’t happen again,” Taehyung said, sighing. He was defeated, completely. You’d never moved away from him like that, never turned him down so easily, never spoke to him in that tone. “I promise.”

“I don’t know if I can believe that,” you said with a shrug, looking very hurt. “How can I be sure you won’t kick me out of your car the next time we fuck there? Or throw me out of your apartment when we’re done? God forbid your friend thinks you like me.”

Taehyung groaned at himself, sighing deeply before he said something he would regret. He just wanted to swear at himself and his stupidity for getting himself in this situation. Of course he fucking liked you—you two have been fucking for a while now, you got along well, and he had the best time when he was with you. What was so wrong about admitting that? Why did he even get upset over his friend insinuating that? “You know me, and I wouldn’t do that,” he tried to sound reassuring when he told you that, but the frown on your face told Taehyung you just didn’t buy it.

“Well, I thought you wouldn’t literally piss on me and then leave me naked in someone else’s bathroom, but I was fucking wrong, wasn’t I?” The tone of voice you used was enough to make him feel dumb. But, it was the way you looked at Taehyung that completely ruined him. Your eyes were narrowed into slits as you glared at him angrily, with disgust on your face, hurt written all over it. 

At that moment, he felt like the worst person alive. He was a selfish, horny idiot. That was all there was to it. What you said sounded terrible because it really was terrible. There was no explanation that could make it sound acceptable, no way to make it seem better. Who the fuck did things like that, honestly? The alcohol Taehyung drank evaporated from his system in the meantime, leaving him sober and embarrassed by his earlier actions.

“I’m sorry,” Taehyung told you, unable to come up with anything that described what he was feeling any better. “It was a mistake. I just… I felt bad about seeing you like that.” That was the truth. It wasn’t his feelings, it wasn’t Hoseok or Yoongi—it was Taehyung and him doing this to you that made him walk away and pretend it never happened. He didn’t walk away because he regretted being with you, having the deal with you, or anything like that. He just couldn’t handle what he’d done.

His statement confused you. You frowned and asked, “Like what?” 

“I mean, I shouldn’t have tried to treat you like I treat other girls I don’t even remember,” he explained with a sigh. That was it. Seeing you like that made him feel bad because you meant more than just stupid fun at the end of a night, more than a person he can try out a kink with and move on like he didn’t know them. You didn’t deserve to be with a guy like him, who’d do that to you. “It’s a shitty thing to do, even for me, but I hope you’ll be able to… Forgive this.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” you said and tried to walk past him, but Taehyung placed his hand in front of you, making you run into it and stopping you from leaving. His hand slid down your side and wrapped around your waist, pulling your side into his stomach, but you still stared right ahead, refusing to look to the side and face him. You were too proud to give him a chance, as you should have been. Taehyung knew he fucked up.

“Let’s not do this,” you muttered the words under your breath, jaw clenched, eyes watering. Even though you seemed to be pissed off with him, you weren’t trying to break free from his touch, and that gave Taehyung some hope.

“Please don’t leave yet,” Taehyung leaned in and rested his forehead against the side of your head, taking a deep breath. You smelled divine, as always. Familiar, even. He was used to you. “Let’s talk this out.”

“Taehyung,” you said with a sigh, still refusing to look at him. “I want to leave because I don’t know what else to tell you. I feel terrible, I really want to get home, take a long shower in my own bathroom so I stop feeling so fucking dirty and gross, and I want to forget this ever happened. I don’t know if I can trust you anymore.”

With a gentle squeeze to your side, Taehyung exhaled softly. “You can trust me.” His words sounded so cheap now, after everything he’d done to you.

“How do I know that? I feel scared of the next thing you’re going to try to convince yourself we’re just strangers who fuck,” you admitted, voice practically cracking by the end of the sentence, and your doubt upset him. 

He wasn’t angry, just disappointed with himself. Because of the way he had acted, you no longer trusted him, and that was the one thing that was great about you two. Honesty, trust, having fun… It was possible because you could be real with each other, and Taehyung and his dick ruined that.

“I won’t,” was all he could tell you, but he meant it. He’d never do something as stupid as that again if you gave him a chance.

“Again, how do I know that?” you spat the words at him before grabbing his hand, prying it away from your body, and pushing it away from your waist in anger. Taehyung felt like you were about to really walk away for good and that he’d never get to even talk to you again, which was something he would hate to see happen. When would he ever meet someone that made him want to give this a go? He’d never met someone like that before you.

So, instead of completely ruining the whole thing, Taehyung wrapped both arms around you and pulled you in for a hug. Surprisingly, you didn’t struggle, but you definitely weren’t about to hug him back. Despite your initial protest, you relaxed in his arms and let him hug you, sighing deeply. Not knowing what else to do, Taehyung leaned in, resting his chin on your head. “Because I do fucking care for you, somehow. I don’t know what to do about it.”

It was a huge thing for someone like Taehyung to admit, especially since it was the first time he’d ever said something so personal to someone. It was like he’d just given you leverage, something you could use against him when you wanted to hurt him, and that wasn’t something Taehyung ever wanted. 

The words were hard to even think of, let alone say, but they were honest and real, and that was what he promised you. He knew that was why he hated seeing you like that, hated thinking of you as someone he could use for sex—you’d stopped being just that a long time ago. People used him for sex, too, there was nothing bad in that if both people agree on it, but with you, things just didn’t work that way, not anymore.

Taehyung wasn’t sure what he was expecting you to say to his sudden confession, but it definitely wasn’t what you mumbled, “If this is how you treat people you care about, I don’t know what to tell you.”

“I don’t know how to do it, that’s the problem, and I get it,” he admitted through a whisper, feeling even more vulnerable than before. How do other people do it? How do they talk about these things, how are they okay with them? “What would make this better? Do you want to do the same to me?”

Taehyung felt you sigh before he heard you grunt, and then your body went all stiff in his arms. “Do you really think treating you like shit would make me feel better? Come on, Tae… Why would I want that?”

“We’d be even,” he suggested, even though it was a stupid think to even think. 

You moved away from his touch, and he was scared you were going to walk out. But, you only took a step backwards and looked straight into his eyes. “Fuck, Taehyung, I don’t want to be even. We’re not kids, I don't think I need to hurt you back to feel better, and I won’t. I just want to know that I can trust you not to let me down like that anymore. It’s not about the golden shower, believe me. I want to try things with someone I can trust, which is why I said yes to you in the first place. But now, I feel like the trust is gone, and I don’t know what else to do.”

That made a lot of sense. Taehyung would have a hard time trusting you if you did something similar. And then, it would all stop. Realizing how you were feeling only made his stomach drop and his throat dried up at the idea of you never trusting him again. 

So, he said the first thing he could come up with, something that sounded reasonable, something that would convince you to stay. “We don’t have to fuck until you trust me.”

“Okay, so you’ll wait for me to call you for months?” you countered with a cocked up eyebrow. Usually, when you’d give him that look, it was a sign of you being in the mood. That night, it was a sign of you thinking he was an idiot.

Taehyung gulped, feeling dread wash over him—not because he couldn’t hold on without sex for that long, but because he didn’t want to go on without talking to you or seeing you for months. Months sounded like a long time. “We can, uh, talk and hang out without having sex. Right?”

“Since when do you want that?” You crossed your arms over your chest, waiting for him to come up with something.

“I’ve just told you that I do,” Taehyung explained with a sigh, realizing he’d have to work harder on convincing you. “Like I’ve said, all this with Hoseok got me thinking.”

Your eyes widened and you nodded. “Is this about the beef you have with Hoseok and you wanting to prove you’re better?”

“No, it’s not that. I just realized that you could really just change your mind and start hooking up with Hoseok or anyone else for that matter, and the thought really bugged me. Not because it’s him, but because it’s you. I have fun with you, I do see you as a friend, and it would really suck if we stopped seeing each other.” There, he said it.

“Okay, listen… The next time you start thinking about stuff that worries you and has something to do with us, just let me fucking know,” you muttered the words out and gave him a knowing look. “I don’t expect you to care or change your behavior towards me. I’m fine with getting to fuck you when we’re both in the mood, but I’m not fine with you treating me like I’m someone you can just walk out on.” 

“It will never happen again, I promise,” Taehyung crossed his heart with a couple of nods. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get in my head like that again, but I will let you know.”

You hummed and looked to the side, eyes wandering around while you thought about something. “Is it… Was it because I told you that you have a soft spot for me?”

Oh, you did say that, and it did make Taehyung feel like Yoongi was right. It felt like everyone could see it except him. When he’d heard you say it, it just convinced him that he was the only one who doesn’t know himself at all. “It was that and all the other things I’ve mentioned. It all happened within an hour and it’s a lot to process.”

“That’s exactly how I feel,” you admitted, gulping loudly, showing some kind of nervousness Taehyung wasn’t used to seeing from you. “Maybe we should go home.”

Home? Taehyung didn’t want to say goodbye for the night, not after everything. He needed to be around you for a while longer, just until he felt like everything was okay, like he hadn’t ruined everything. “Can I… Come with you?” he dared ask, knowing you could turn him down.

Without batting an eye, you did exactly that. “I’d rather if you don’t. Not now.”

“Are you sure?”

You scoffed and looked at him again, your expression softening a bit. “Yes. I want to be alone and think about everything.”

Taehyung’s heart sank to his stomach when he realized you were determined not to spend more time with him. It could have been just a temporary thing—you didn’t want to talk to him that night. But, Taehyung was scared. What if it turned into something permanent? 

So, desperately, he suggested, “Can I walk you home?”

“I’m tired, I’ll get a cab.” Once again, you turned him down easily, showing him you really didn’t want to be around him, which was upsetting, and not in the angry type of way. No, Taehyung just felt his chest shrink down until it felt like he couldn’t take a breath. 

But, he had to let you have your way. It was your right not to want to be around him, especially after the way he treated you. If he kept pushing and trying to force you to talk to him, Taehyung would just ruin everything, and he was already on thin ice with you.

Finally, he came up with something that sounded appropriate, something that would buy him a little more time with you. “Let’s share an Uber, at least.”

You said yes to that, even though unwillingly, and the wait for the Uber was really weird. You both stood out there in the cold, and Taehyung just really wanted to hug you, but it was out of the question. Your usual thing was kissing, groping, having your hands on each other when you were somewhere together. That night, you were standing feet apart, bodies not even brushing against one another, let alone touching. Taehyung could forget all about kissing and hugging. They were privileges he’d lost by being a fucking moron.

The last thing he wanted was for you to go home and think about what a piece of shit he was and decide to break things off with him. But, he couldn’t prevent that from happening. You had every right to decide you were over this thing with him, and Taehyung couldn’t do anything about it. Still, it didn’t feel like he made things right.

The drive to your place was quiet, but Taehyung used the opportunity to place his hand over yours. Surprisingly, you didn’t move it away, so that felt comforting. You may have been pissed off at him, but you at least appreciated him holding his hand over yours, and that was something. It wasn’t something he usually did, but he was desperate to keep you close then, dying to have you treat him the way you usually do.

When the driver pulled up at your place, Taehyung got out of the car with you, not even thinking about his decision twice. What was he supposed to do, drive off without getting to talk to you in private for a minute or two, without saying goodbye? He definitely wasn’t going to do it in a fucking Uber, not after the fuck up he’d made earlier.

You, on the other hand, weren’t so keen on the idea, judging by the glare you gave him when he stepped onto the sidewalk and stood right next to you. “Where are you going?”

“I want to walk you to your door,” he told you while you just stood there and glared at him, making him feel like an even bigger idiot than he already was.

“Taehyung… Please go back inside,” you hissed the words at him like you were angry, even though he thought you were on somewhat good terms again. Wasn’t that what your conversation back in the room was all about? “You can’t stay over.”

“I know…” Taehyung nodded, hoping you saw that wasn’t his goal, “I just want to… Hug you, at least.”

It was an embarrassing thing to admit, but it would definitely make him feel better. Well, it would at least make Taehyung feel like you didn’t hate him, and that was something. 

The way you scoffed made his head snap up in your direction. “You want a hug? You, Kim Taehyung? Kim I’ve-never-had-a-feeling-in-my-life Taehyung? Please.” The tone told him you were done with him for the night.

“That was mean,” he pointed out, even if he couldn’t blame you for saying all those things. You had every right to be mean to him and not take his words seriously, especially not after he walked out on you in that position at someone else’s place. Besides, you were right—Taehyung wasn’t the type of guy who cared or asked for hugs, yet there he was, needing one from you.

“It was. You’re right. I’m sorry,” you whispered, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down. “I’m just mad now, and that’s why I think it’s best if you go home.” 

“I think we should spend more time together and…” he gulped, “talk about it. I don’t want to go home knowing you’re mad at me.” It was the truth—Taehyung would hate going to bed knowing you’re in your bed thinking about how much you hate him or, even worse, crying over the way he treated you.

“You can’t fuck your way out of everything, Taehyung.” 

Well, touché. You had a comeback for everything he said, which usually amused him. Tonight, it only served as a reminder of what kind of an asshole Taehyung was to you and how good he’d had it all that time when he was on your good side, when you treated him well, when you were gentle with him.

He admitted, “I’m starting to realize that.” 

“Okay. Good.”

“Maybe I’ve misspoken. I meant, I don’t want to go home knowing you’re hurt because of me,” Taehyung began, hoping he’d manage to get the words out in a way that made sense. “When I walked out on you, I didn’t think that I wanted to humiliate or hurt you. I thought I should treat this girl like I treat every other one because I just don’t care and I don’t want people to get any ideas.”

You tried to fight the urge to roll your eyes at him, but you failed and did it with a snort. “Wow, every girl’s dream.”

“But it’s not true, clearly,” he added quickly. It wasn’t, it really wasn’t. Fucking Yoongi was right. He did care about you and wanted things to stay the same. At the same time, Hoseok was wrong.

“I kind of doubt that, Tae,” you told him softly, eyes sparkling in the dark. 

This time, he couldn’t help but groan. “Why in the fuck would I be here? I got to fuck you. I got to play out a dumb fantasy. I could have just left like I said I would. I’d find someone else to fuck. I like us!”

“Who’s ‘us’, Taehyung? We don’t exist,” you pointed out slowly, your voice almost cracking again. You were right—you two as a thing didn’t really exist—but weren’t you friends with benefits? Wasn’t he the only guy who got to kiss you and touch you and fuck you whenever you both wanted it? That had to count for something. As if you noticed the disappointed look on his face despite not even looking at him, you sighed and quickly added, “Let’s call it a night, hm? It’s been too eventful for my liking, and I just really want to be alone.”

And then, you leaned in for a hug, which he gladly accepted. The hug you gave Taehyung was a weak attempt to try to make it seem that things were alright. You did it for him, to get him to go home and leave you alone, which he did. He let you out of his embrace when he felt you pushing away, and wished you a good night, hoping you’d ask him to stay. You promised to text him when you had time to think about the whole thing some more, but Taehyung felt that was just your way of letting him down gently. 

So, he wallowed in self-pity for a while, hoping that you’d call him or that he’d forget about it. Since he didn’t want to compromise your deal, Taehyung couldn’t exactly go out and fuck someone, which meant he didn’t have that many options other than just try to forget. He didn’t talk about the whole thing with Yoongi, deciding not to let other people mess with his head anymore. He knew what he felt, and he was just waiting for your decision. Whatever happened was going to happen between you two, and the opinions of his friends or fucking Hoseok didn’t matter.

Despite feeling like crap, Taehyung went out the next week after his friends insisted he came. He’d been spending time on his own all week, and they were wondering if everything was okay. Since the last thing he wanted was to discuss anything related to you, which would definitely happen if Yoongi had a say in it, Taehyung just decided to go out with them and pretend he was feeling just fine.

He may have gone out, but he wasn’t really drinking—just a drink or two to stay awake and have enough patience to deal with drunk assholes. Were all drunk people usually that annoying or was it just because Taehyung was finally sober for a change? Whatever it was, it made him feel antsy. He avoided large crowds and stuck with the couple of people he knew who weren’t obnoxiously drunk—not just yet. 

And then, he noticed you walking in with a couple of friends, tipsy and happy. Taehyung could tell by the way you were giggling and holding onto your friend’s arm, not even looking around the room to see who was there. Definitely drunk. The sound of your giggling filled his ears, and he wished he could just walk over to you and kiss you, maybe even grab your ass, ask you to come upstairs with him, like he’d done so many times before. But, even a hug would have been nice. He just needed a sign that it was all okay, that it would go back to normal, that he hasn’t ruined the whole thing by thinking with his stupid fucking dick.

Your eyes meet for a second or two, but definitely long enough for you to realize it was him you were looking at. You froze for an instant but quickly recovered and looked away, continuing to talk to your friends, making your way out of the room and into the next one, away from Taehyung’s questioning gaze. He had no right to follow you or walk up to you to see how you were doing. You asked him for time to think. If your idea of thinking about you two was going out and drinking with friends, he definitely wasn’t going to blame you. Taehyung just hoped you’d let him know what you’d decided and not just string him along. 

An hour later, he started feeling restless, wondering where you were, who you were with, and whether you were even thinking about him. You were all he could think about, and it felt annoying, to say the least. Taehyung had another drink in the meantime, but it was nowhere near enough to stop thinking about you. Against his better judgment, he pretended to be looking for the bathroom and walked around the place, hoping to see you. But, he was praying he wasn’t going to run into you with someone else. For some reason, that thought would really upset him, Taehyung was aware.

Thankfully, you were with your friends, dancing and laughing, looking as gorgeous and carefree as ever. You were drunk, that much was clear, but not too drunk to be out of it. He watched you dance for a while, letting his eyes wander all over your body, the body he’d had so close so many times, the body he missed having under him. Taehyung shook himself out of his thoughts about you and everything he wanted to do to you and left the room. 

Still, he couldn’t stop thinking about you, so he texted you a while later. 

Taehyung: so pretty when you smile like that :)

After he pressed ‘send,’ Taehyung realized that sounded kind of creepy, but he couldn’t unsend it, so he just went with it. You’d already told him to fuck off, so this text couldn’t really ruin anything. He wasn’t expecting you to answer, especially not within ten minutes, but you did.

You: pretty? not a compliment i expected from you

Were you angry? Upset? Teasing? Taehyung couldn’t tell. He wished you’d told it to him in person so he could have seen your face and heard your tone. Since you hadn’t, Taehyung could only guess, so he went with teasing—it suited him the most out of all the possible options.

Taehyung: i mean, do i think you’re hot and do i want to fuck you stupid? yes. this just sounds nicer

Taehyung: and is just as true

He wasn’t sure if the texts were too much, but they were honest, and that was the most he could do—other than walking over to you and kissing you, which could probably end the whole thing. So, he stuck to texts. You didn’t respond that time, which made him realize he fucked it up. Maybe you were upset with him for not putting in any effort, for following your instructions to leave you alone, for even texting you a compliment. Maybe the other texts he sent just annoyed you even more. It was all possible, and the game wasn’t something Taehyung was used to playing, so it left him confused.

Despite feeling like crap, he didn’t have any more drinks. Instead, he hung around in the quieter rooms and tried to stay awake, even though the thought of just going home was attractive. Thankfully, Taehyung didn’t leave because he would have missed you when you came out to look for him. That was what you had to be doing when you walked inside the room and looked around until you looked straight into his eyes. His head snapped up in your direction, and you were next to him before he could blink.

“Let’s go upstairs,” you suggested, grabbing his hand. Nothing about it was gentle or sweet, but Taehyung let you hold his hand and lead the way. 

You walked up the stairs and into a random bedroom without a word, locked the door behind you in complete silence, pushed Taehyung onto the bed, and took off your underwear, sliding it down your legs while staying covered with your dress. The whole scene was confusing him, but it was so hot at the same time—you, just taking what you want, which just so happened to be him. 

The next second, you were straddling his thighs, fingers fumbling with his zipper. At that point, Taehyung stopped you by covering your hands with his and sighing. “Hey, hey… You good there?”

“Mhm,” you hummed, pouting at the zipper. “Just want to get these off.”

“Sure you can do this?” he asked, even though he was risking you getting up and walking away. “Not too drunk?”

“I’m not that drunk, Tae. Four drinks, maybe,” you explained as you finally pulled the zipper down. The next second, your hand was under the waistband of his boxers, palming to find his cock. You hissed when you did, finding it hard for you already. “I can do this. Can you?”

“Three drinks,” Taehyung told you, mesmerized by the way you were stroking him as if you were just trying to get him hard enough to fuck. He already was. “No longer angry with me?”

“Tae, let’s just… do this,” you suggested, a hint of annoyance in your voice. It made Taehyung realize he wasn’t there because you were trying to make up with him—if that even existed in a friends-with-benefits situation. No, you were just there to get off, and he was just familiar. 

“If that’s what you want,” he responded with a shrug and lifted his hips off the bed so you could slide his jeans and boxers down his thighs, just enough to let his cock spring free, thick and hard for you. 

Taehyung watched you stroke him slowly, eyes focused solely on his cock, hissing when you saw him leak precum for you. “No condom, right?” You finally looked up at his eyes as if you were trying to check if he’d lie. He hadn’t had sex with anyone else since you two argued, and he hoped this meant you hadn’t either. That would mean the deal was still on, even if things weren’t exactly peachy right then. There was hope, after all. 

“No condom,” he confirmed, propping himself up on his elbows and getting a good look at you. “Once again, you’re sure about this?”

“Tae, I need to come,” you said firmly, nodding at him right after as if he was slow. “Do you want to come too?”

“Y-yeah,” he gulped, “I do.”

“Okay, then let’s just think about coming,” you suggested, moving your knees towards his hips until you were kneeling right above his crotch and guiding his dick towards your entrance. You started to ease yourself down onto his cockhead, but Taehyung’s grip around your waist stopped you in place, and you looked up at him. “What?”

“No prep?” Taehyung questioned, wondering if you were really as sober as you claimed. None of it was like you, yet you didn’t seem to be slurring your words. You just seemed out of it, and that was somehow worse, at least in his eyes.

Your huff gave off your annoyance with him. “I just want you to fuck me.”

“Just that?” Taehyung asked, hoping he’d hear a different answer.

“Isn’t that what you’re here for?” you retorted with a half-smirk. “Not like you to talk this much when someone’s offering a quick fuck.”

Your words stung a bit, Taehyung couldn’t lie, but he had to grit his teeth and move on. You had a bit to drink, you were still angry with him, and just needed release. At least you came to him and not some other guy, choosing to end your agreement. 

“Then you’ll get fuck like you want,” he told you as he wrapped his arms around you and got up. 

Quickly, he discarded his shoes, jeans, and boxers so he could give you what you clearly wanted. Just a quick fuck, nothing more, just someone to fuck you. He could be just that, if it was all you wanted. With that in mind, Taehyung walked around you, standing right behind you before he pushed his hips into your from behind, mouth attaching to your neck.

“Shit,” you muttered when his teeth grazed your skin, his arms sliding up your clothed body, giving your tits a squeeze before moving down to rest on your hips. 

“On the bed, on your knees,” he ordered with a slap to your ass, so you listened instantly, getting in the position he asked of you, legs spread, ass up in the air. 

It was not how Taehyung wanted to fuck you, but if you wanted him to just fuck you stupid, he could do that too. So, he grabbed the hem of your dress and pulled it over your hips, letting it pool around your ribs, which were pressed into the mattress. “Fucking needy tonight,” he told you, mesmerized by the wetness between your folds, a clear sign of your arousal. 

He stroked his cock with one hand while he leaned in and spat on your hole, enjoying the way his saliva glistened on your folds. You hissed when he touched you, thumb spreading the spit all around your hole. The next second, he slid a finger in, fingering you for a couple of seconds before adding another. It didn’t take him long to finger you open and have you moaning for him.

Then, Taehyung pulled his fingers out, spat on his cock, and shoved it inside of you, grunting loudly as he did. Since you two hadn’t had sex in a while and he was so desperate to feel you, it felt better than he remembered, tighter, more welcoming. Your moans sounded even better now that he finally had you again, his hips starting to snap into yours, slowly at first.

With every groan of his name, he went harder, his stomach clenching with each thrust. It was all about you and getting you to come, and Taehyung wanted nothing more than to feel you come around him while you moaned his name. That’s what happened not long after. Instead of getting to come inside of you, you let Taehyung come inside of your throat before you swallowed and put on your underwear. Not long after, you were gone, leaving him to sit there and think how he managed to fuck things up that much.

After your little encounter at the party, you went radio silent on Taehyung again. Not a call, not a text, not a peep. He felt a bit cheap, even though he was used to fucking people and never really talking to them again. But, you weren’t just a person to him, and he was hoping he wasn’t that to you. A good fuck, and you were gone again, back to ignoring him. 

Taehyung worried about that whenever he wasn’t keeping busy, so he did stuff all the time, even deciding to go to a school game just to avoid being alone. Of course, he ran into Hoseok there, and they both had more than a couple of drinks in them by that point. In Taehyung’s mind, Hoseok was the fucking cause of everything.

If he hadn’t meddled, none of it would have happened. Did he have to walk in on you two having sex? Taehyung was getting the feeling that the guy followed you around like a puppy. Hoseok spoke about you with such annoyance in his voice, even though he was the one who was dating someone else. That could only mean he still had some kind of feelings for you and that those feelings were hurt.

Is that why he chose to join that threesome? Taehyung couldn’t see how that would help Hoseok. Watching someone you care about getting fucked stupid by a guy you can’t stand wouldn’t be on his top ways of getting back together with someone, but what did he know? Taehyung definitely wasn’t a fuck-buddy expert. Still, he could never watch a guy fuck you, not after that time. It was off limits now, anyway. 

After all that, did Hoseok really have to tell you those things, call you a slut for fucking them? He was the slut in the situation, and Taehyung didn’t mean it as an insult. Hoseok was dating someone else and decided to join you two. He had no business telling you those things or implying Taehyung or you were just good for sex. Hoseok was the one who fucked everything up, probably in the hopes of getting on your good side again, getting to fuck you the way you’ve only let Taehyung fuck you for weeks now. 

So, when the guy threw a simple insult his way, Taehyung practically exploded. It was on their way out of the uni building. He couldn’t even remember what Hoseok said, but it involved you and him, and it was said sarcastically, in a way that implied you two were done. And that was something Taehyung couldn’t stand. 

How the fuck would Hoseok know that if he wasn’t talking to you? Wasn’t that the goal all along? Were you two now in cahoots, fucking again, making fun of Taehyung behind his back for being an idiot and falling for you? It didn’t sound right, but Hoseok’s snicker told him otherwise.

That was why Taehyung ended up grabbing Hoseok by his shirt and slamming him against the wall, not even caring about all their friends being around, about random strangers being there. Fuck them and fuck anyone who’d stand up for the dude who was trying to rile him up. 

“Shut the fuck up already!” he hissed at your ex-fuck buddy, who just laughed loudly and shook his head at Taehyung. “Don’t want to fucking hear you mention her again!”

“Pussy whipped!” Hoseok grunted and pushed Taehyung’s hands away. Soon enough, people started gathering around them, telling them to chill, so they both left, each in a different direction.

The encounter left a bitter taste in Taehyung’s mouth, mostly because he acted like a moron just because he heard your name being mentioned. What was even more embarrassing than his little emotional outburst was that you found out about it. 

No word from you for a week, and then you texted the second he got into it with Hoseok, as if you were in constant contact with the jerk, as if you wanted to be with him. Did you? Maybe Taehyung was the one who got in between two people who had a thing and he was now paying for it.

You: this behavior is really childish and i HOPE it has nothing to do with us

Wow. It kind of hurt to see your text, especially since you’ve been silent for a long while. The only reason you stopped ignoring him was to tell him that, to stand up for your former (or maybe current) fuck-buddy? Great. Things were just peachy.

Taehyung: there’s no us, right!?

You: grow up!!

you can find the masterlist here and share your feedback with me here, if you want to. if you enjoy reading my stories, please consider supporting me using buymeacoffee. thank you! :)

the hardest part [ZCL] (M) fic teaser

Description: You, Chenle, and Jay have been best friends since before you could even remember. After moving away to pursue your dreams, you don't talk to them as often as you should. One day, you get a call notifying you of Jay's passing. When you go back to your hometown, you find everything is different except for one person--Chenle.

Genre: Smut/Fluff/Angst (please see content warnings)

Content Warnings: death of a close friend, survivor's guilt, lots of what-if scenarios, navigating life without someone you've always had around, mental break downs, panic attacks (not vividly described AS panic attacks), two people coming together to heal from grief, explicit sexual content (unprotected sex, oral sex, mentions of sex, etc. although it's not super crazy so do with that what you will)

Release Date: 6.5.2024

Expected Word Count: 15-20k (maybe less?)

Teaser Word Count: 796

Taglist: Open!! Please let me know if you'd like to be added.

Permanent Taglist: @sunnybutcloudy @neozon3nha @waffleuvs

Pairing: Zhong Chenle x fem!reader (featuring OC by the name of Jay)

Juliet's Masterlist | Tell me what you think? :)

When nightfall comes, you and Chenle go to your separate rooms. He bids you goodnight, and you close your door. You sit on the edge of the bed and take in the room around you. Everything has changed immensely since the last time you were in your hometown. Your best friend bought a house, and you’d barely even thought or heard about it. Pride in him surges through you, but for a moment, you think it may be misplaced.

You don’t deserve to be proud of someone you’ve failed to talk to as often as you should have. Losing Jay has torn your world apart, and you still don’t truly believe it. You change into your tank top and shorts, and then grab your toothbrush and toothpaste from your bag.

You’re on your way to the bathroom when you find Chenle in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and bringing a glass of water up to his lips. He gives you a tired nod.

“You’re still up?”

“Sleep on a day like this?” He lets out a sarcastic laugh. “I’ll probably have some crazy ass dream or something.”

You forget your adventure to his bathroom and approach the kitchen island. Without a word between the two of you, he goes into the cupboard to get you a cup as well. He fills it with water and slides it across the countertop.

“Thanks,” you say.

He nods once and crosses his arms over his chest. “How’s life going, though? Current events aside.”

“Life is a constant revolving door of work,” you tell him. “Working my way up the corporate ladder and all that bullshit they spew.”

“You look good. As long as you’re getting all the things you wanted, I’m good, too.” He closes his eyes and tilts his head back.

“Kind of debating if it was worth it at this point.” You sigh. “I’m proud of you, by the way. Buying a house on your own is a big deal.”

“Family business money.”

“You work. You earned it.”

“I guess that’s true. Thanks.” He pauses. “I’m glad you’re here. I don’t think I’d be okay if you weren’t.”

“Like I’d ever leave you to deal with something like this alone.” You tap your fingers against the granite, admiring the swirls of color deep in the design.

“Regardless, I needed you.” Chenle gulps, glancing at his feet. “I still do. Now more than ever with Jay gone.”

“Did you think I wouldn’t come?” you ask.

He wets his lips and takes the bottom one between his teeth. “It’s not that I thought that, necessarily, but I did wonder if you were. I didn’t hear from you, so I kind of just hoped.”

Guilt takes another stab at your heart. “Chenle, I—”

“Don’t apologize again,” he replies sternly. “Life is life. There’s no way any of us could’ve predicted this, okay? Sometimes, shit happens. Not being around a lot isn’t the end of the world.”

“It was for Jay.”

“You were not the end of the world. You didn’t kill him, for fuck’s sake. There’s nothing any of us could’ve done. And reminiscing on it like this and placing unplaceable blame on ourselves is going to make things harder.” He sets his cup in the sink.

“I know. I know that, but for some reason, my head keeps—”

“Let’s watch a movie,” he offers. “Maybe it’ll distract you a little bit.”

You agree, and go into the bathroom to brush your teeth before you follow him into his room. It’s so innately Chenle in there, you immediately feel relaxed. Some things never change, and you’re glad he’s one of those things.

“Sorry, I don’t have a TV in the living room,” he says as he pulls his covers back.

“Just roll me off if I fall asleep,” you reply, climbing onto the untouched side.

Eventually, he’s next to you, and you rest your head on his chest while he finds something to watch. He selects some random comedy movie and then shuffles to put his arm around you.

His scent is familiar, too. The world calms around you when you’re with Chenle. One out of two of your safe places has left the Earth, but luckily for you, Chenle is more than ready to play both roles.

The movie does, indeed, successfully distract you from the impending doom of everything outside. You’re able to forget, even if it’s just for a couple hours, and sink into the familiarity of your best friend.

His chest rumbles when he laughs at the screen, and the feeling has you drifting faster than you’d care to admit.

Until finally, your eyes flutter shut and stay that way, and just like that, you have the best night of sleep you’ve had all week.

THREE'S A CROWD — [preview].

SYNOPSIS. three of your friends fight for your affection, totally not because they like you— but simply because they can’t stand the idea of you liking someone else.

PAIRINGS. jung sungchan, park wonbin, hong seunghan x female! reader. GENRE. college! au, rom-com, reverse harem, just a bunch of arrogant and silly little boys in denial, a collection of italicized oh moments in succession, featuring the rest of riize and nct. WARNINGS. swearing, explicit language, mild possessiveness, so much petty and childish behavior, drinking, breaking and entering, may add more in the full fic. WORD COUNT. preview: 3.2k | full fic: est. 15-18k.

RELEASE DATE. november to december. TAGLIST. send an ask/dm/reply to be added.

NOTE. i said i'd do it. so i did. i am. and i'm having so much fun writing another shitstorm of a harem so i hope you find this as fun as i do HAHAHHAHA. sick and tired of seeing nothing but smut under the riize x reader tag so here is my contribution to society. you're welcome.

preview under the cut.

THERE ARE CURRENTLY THREE HEADS IN THE MALE DORMITORY LOUNGE. One is Sungchan, tinkering with the foosball table by himself because the other two heads are refusing to play with him. Second is Wonbin laid comfortably on the couch, headphones on and using his lap as a drum set. Last is Seunghan, on the floor for some reason, and eyes trained intently on his phone with his thumbs tapping on the screen like a madman.

The number gets added when Sohee rushes in from the front door, a large McDonald’s paper bag in hand and four large cups of soda in the other. “Order’s here!” he announces. The three heads quickly pop up from their respective businesses and congregate to the dining corner of the room.

“Fuck,” Sungchan groans, following the scent of the warm, freshly cooked mcnuggets on the table. The other three are already seated and poking holes in their soda cups. Sungchan is still groaning like a zombie. The two open nugget boxes are enticing him. He won’t . He must not. “I can’t eat. I forgot I had dinner plans tonight.”

“With a girl?” Sohee asks. The number of nuggets is depleting by the second. If the rest of the guys come down, there will be none left for him.

“Yes,” Sungchan replies. He swallows hard. Wonbin takes the boot shaped chicken right before his very eyes. This is torture.

Seunghan scrunches his nose, mid-nugget. “Boo. You whore. It’s guys night. How can you do this to us?” 

“A few nuggets can’t hurt,” says Wonbin. He pokes the box closer to Sungchan. 

“You’re right. Move over.”

They snort at his flimsy conviction. Sungchan argues that he is simply experiencing the delicacies of both the east and the west tonight. You’re supposed to have Japanese with him tonight. There is nothing wrong with cross-cultural enjoyment. He is simply diversifying his palate.

“So, is it a date?” asks Seunghan.

“No. I’m just eating out with a friend.”

“Just the two of you?” 

Wonbin raises a brow with the question. Sungchan counts the numbers in his head. “Yeah.” If he eats another nugget, then that would make it five. Five can be counted with only one hand. That isn’t a lot. This is fine.

“Oh man,” Sohee snickers. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure that’s a date.”

“No way!” he defends, the fifth and final nugget stuffed in his mouth. Sungchan swallows before continuing, wiping his hand on the pile of tissue papers on the table. “It’s not a date. I mean, she did tell me that she has a little crush on me, but it’s not a date.”

The three don’t miss the slight curl of his lips— a bastard’s sly grin. It’s a date. It’s definitely a date. Seunghan gives him a hard smack on the back. “The girl has a crush on you, how is it not a date, you piece of shit?”

“Ow! Hey!” he glares at him. “It really isn’t! We even had a whole talk we’re keeping it strictly platonic. I’m not interested in her in that way and she knows that. I’m not doing anything wrong here!”

There’s both disappointment and judgment in Wonbin’s face. “Quit leading her on.”

Sungchan gasps. “I’m not!”

“Who is it anyway?” Sohee asks right before taking an obnoxious sip on his soda. “Maybe I know her.”

“Well, I doubt it,” he starts. “I’m pretty sure you guys don’t know her, but she’s—”

Your name stumbles out of Sungchan’s mouth. It falls quiet, save for Sungchan’s explanation that he met you through the soccer team’s captain, Nakamoto Yuta, and that he’s known you for around half a year now. You’re in different majors, but it turns out you have quite a lot of friends from his team, so you bump into each other a lot. Sungchan knew about your crush on him early into your acquaintanceship— which is why having dinner with you and just you isn’t, “and shouldn’t be that big of a deal! It’s not a date. Seriously.”

“Okay, it’s not a date,” Sohee relents. Sungchan nods proudly at his victory.

“Yes. It is not.”

“But you know what’s funny—” Sohee’s eyes move to Seunghan. “The girl you told me about has the same name. What a coincidence.”

Seunghan is sitting on the table like a mound of stone. He’s got a half-eaten nugget in his hands. He’s not putting it in his mouth. “That’s right,” he simply says. There’s a faraway look in his eyes. “That is pretty funny. What a coincidence.” Coincidence, Seunghan repeats in his head. Yes. It must be a coincidence. He nods to himself and throws the nugget remnants into his mouth, satisfied with that conclusion.

“What girl?” Wonbin rouses. Seunghan turns his head to him sharply.

“Oh,” he says. “A friend from highschool.”

“A friend that’s had feelings for him since highschool,” Sohee grins. “You said she was pretty. Why didn’t you two start dating?”

Is this the chicken’s fault? Why the heck does everything keep circling back to dating? “I don’t know. I’ve just never seen her in that light,” Seunghan explains. He doesn’t know why he’s getting riled up, but he is. “And just because someone confessed to you doesn’t mean they want to start dating. Dude, I feel like you’re the one that should go and find a date. Being single is getting to your head.”

Seunghan has been friends with you since eleventh grade, being classmates and all. You confessed to him early into grade twelve, and even though he didn’t return your feelings, it was never awkward because you never acted differently. In fact, sometimes he second guesses if it actually happened. Just a few days ago, he asked if you still like him to confirm. All you said was, “yeah, why?” and continued working on your assignment. That’s why sometimes he forgets. That’s why it’s not worth bringing up.

Until now, when your name suddenly keeps popping up. Wonbin utters the same. Seunghan and Sungchan’s head quickly snap towards him. “You guys aren’t talking about SM-ARTS Chairperson, right?”

SM-ARTS is an art organization in your university. It’s been a well known org since its foundation— half because of its achievements, half because of its stupid (smart) name. “That’s...yes, that is her.” Seunghan gets a bad feeling. A really bad fucking feeling, and it’s not just having too much unhealthy chicken nuggets from McDonald’s. “Why? Do you also know her?”

“Of course I do. I’m literally her Vice Chair,” Wonbin furrows his brows. This is strange. He’s been working with you since the beginning of the year and you’ve never mentioned a Jung Sungchan nor a Hong Seunghan before. What’s even stranger is their assertions that you have feelings for them. You. For them. It’s a ridiculous thought to entertain because, “she literally told me that he has a crush on me. What are you two talking about?”

Wonbin couldn’t get a more direct confession than yours. It’s typical for the rest of your org officers and members to tease the both of you— the snickers and hollers when you’d call him to discuss something in private, the teasing saying you two look good together. Hell, some of the kids even call you both mom and dad and it’s gone to the point where he’s told them off to quit it because you might be uncomfortable. But you’d always say, “it’s fine,” and “you didn’t mind,” with a sweet smile on your face. Now, he’s no stranger to those insinuations, and for the sake of your professional relationship, he needed your denial or agreement.

Turns out, you do have a crush on him.

So this has become very, very awkward.

“Maybe—” Sungchan stammers. “Maybe...maybe we’re each talking about a different person, maybe there’s actually three different— oh, hey. What are you doing here?”

Speak of the devil and she shall appear.

“Hey!” 

The sound of your voice bouncing around the male dormitory walls feel foreign and jarring, especially after the conversation that had just transpired. You set down your bag on their couch, walking up to them with a bright smile that doesn’t match their vibe at all.

There’s tension in the air. A very thick and palpable tension and the three are exchanging glances and looks as if to say, ‘Go on. Go say hi to her first if she’s the girl you’ve been talking about.’

But you beat them to it. “Wow. I didn’t think you three knew each other!” you exclaim, skipping over to the dining corner where you find yourself in the gap between Sungchan and Seunghan. The two flinch at the closeness of your presence. Wonbin tightens his jaw. “Anyway, is Shotaro around? I need to talk to him about our trip this weekend, but he’s not replying.”

“He’s in his room. Upstairs. Fourth floor.” 

It’s not a competition, but hearing how quickly the response falls out of Wonbin’s lips sure does makes it seem like it is. Sungchan has his mouth open, gives Wonbin a look, before closing it again. Seunghan never even got the chance, and Sohee is looking at the scene unfold like it’s a goddamned trashy movie.

“Great, thanks!” you beam. “Oh, and we’re still up for dinner tonight, right?”

They can’t go for another speed contest because the question is reserved for one person only— Sungchan, who seems to be caught off guard. “Yeah. Absolutely,” he manages to squeeze out. You smile.

“Sweet. Wonbin, have you prepared the documents I asked for tomorrow’s meeting?”

It’s like a question carousel. “I’ll send them later for you to review.”

“Perfect! Right, and Seunghan—” There goes another rotation. “Mind driving me to the reunion this Friday? Jaeha bailed on me at the last minute, that son of a bitch.”

Seunghan blinks at you, in a daze. “Sure.”

“Nice! And you—”

Your attention lands on the last person at the table. Sungchan, Wonbin, and Seunghan didn’t expect you to even entertain him. “Sohee,” their friend fills in, a little taken aback. You flash him a bright grin.

“Sohee! Nice to meet you! Love your necklace. Very chic.”

For some reason the smile on Sohee’s face is annoying to the other three boys. “Thanks!” he says. “Have a nugget before you go.” They didn’t think it was possible, but somehow your face glows even brighter and you lean down, still between Seunghan and Sungchan, to pick up a piece from the box. 

“Thought you guys would never offer. Thank you! I’ll see you around!”

With that you disappear up the stairs, and you take all the noise and the life in the room with you. It’s quiet. So quiet— almost like there’s a standoff. That is until Sohee clears his throat, still pink from the compliment you gave him, and says, “Well. Seems like she’s the same person.” 

No fucking shit, she’s the same person. They can’t keep making excuses anymore. 

Seunghan tries to play it off with a laugh. “I can’t believe you guys would lie and joke about her having a crush on you.” His laugh isn’t well taken by the other two. It spirals down to shit all too quickly.

“What do you mean ‘lie’?” Wonbin narrows his eyes.

Sungchan hollers in. “Yeah, if anything, you’re the one that’s lying! You and him both!”

“Why would I lie?!” Seunghan protests.

“I don’t know— maybe because you’re jealous that she likes me and not either of you?”

Before they can start throwing fists, Sohee interrupts by making himself the collective target. “Have you guys considered,” he starts, hands solemnly pressed together above the crumb littered table. “That she might have a tinge of feelings for all three of you? Not just one?”

They pause in consideration. It takes them five seconds to brush him off.

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“No way.”

“Why would she?”

Sohee sighs and gives up. He hears a set of footsteps rushing down and hopes it’s you, so that his three friends would finally quit it. It is you, and Sohee lifts up. Your timing is impeccable. He’s almost convinced you’ve been listening the whole time.

“Hey,” you greet them once again, flashing a smile once, before going off to retrieve your bag from the couch. The three quiet down instantaneously and have resigned to glaring at each other in seething silence. Seunghan isn’t very good at glaring at people, so he reorganizes his strategy instead.

“How’s the thing with Taro hyung?” he asks, twisting his chair to face you better. Sungchan and Wonbin give him a dirty look. That bastard. He’s even considering body language into play.

“Oh! The trip is canceled.” You sling your bag over your shoulder. “So my Sunday has been cleared. Do you guys want to make plans?”

Crap.

You just tossed them a bone.

Sohee is sure this isn’t gonna end pretty.

“Why don’t we go on a date?”

All eyes are wide. Their heads snap in the direction of Wonbin— the fast bastard. His expression is nonchalant, but his shaking knee from under the table says otherwise. “There’s a contemporary art exhibit opening downtown. Let’s check it out together,” This bitch, Sungchan’s expression seems to say. Seunghan’s disappointment seeps through the air.

“Like. A date, date?” you confirm, eyes batting expectantly, as if you have a barrier against the palpably sour and rotten mood flooding the room in ominous swirls.

“Yeah,” Wonbin confirms. He’s lucky you’re too far away to notice the sweat dripping down his neck. “Is...is that a problem? You said you liked me. Why don’t we give it a shot?”

All hell breaks loose the moment you entertain them with flustered cheeks and a shy smile.

“No! Don’t go!” Sungchan’s had it. He can’t take this anymore. “If there’s anyone you should be going out with, it should be me! You like me! Not them!”

Seunghan has left his seat and has scrambled over to you. Wonbin and Sungchan’s eyes widen. They aren’t letting him do this. They quickly follow suit but Seunghan already has a firm hold on your arms and is looking deep into your eyes. He’s put up an invisible barrier. Fuck, that sneaky bastard.

“Were you actually serious when you said that you had a crush on me since eleventh grade?” His voice cracks. If he’s trying to tap into your pity, then it’s definitely fucking working. “But why are these two saying you like them? What about us?! Am I nothing to y—”

Your index finger finds its way over Seunghan’s lips. Silence befalls. Your blank face settles into a sound smile.

“Well,” you pry Seunghan’s hands off you, still smiling pleasantly at all of them. What is this ominous feeling? Why doesn’t it seem like you’re actually smiling at them? “As far as I remember, none of you returned my confessions.”

It’s like a hammer hits all three of them at once.

“And I still like you Seunghan. We literally talked about it the other day.” You gave him a two word answer then brushed him off your essay. That was hardly a conversation. Seunghan feels wronged beyond words.

“How—how about me?”

You look over to Sungchan, who looks arguably like a kicked puppy. “What about you?”

“Well,” he clears his throat, a faint blush coating his ears. “Do you still, uh, have feelings for me too, or—”

“Sungchan, do you think I’d have kept asking you to have dinner alone with me every week if I didn’t like you?” He blinks. Beside him, Wonbin points a finger to himself. You let out a breath. “I’d be blind and tasteless if I wasn’t into you, Wonbin. Especially after working closely together since the beginning of the year. Why are you guys asking me this?”

Sohee has stopped liking all these ominous periods of silence because they’re signs that even more chaos is about to ensue. His three friends’ eyes look empty and hollow as they stare at you. Oh god, they’re far gone.

“So,” Wonbin starts.

“You like us,” Seunghan follows.

“Like all three of us,” Sungchan finishes. 

You give them a smile reminiscent of a kindergarten teacher feeling a swell of pride after her student finishes reciting the alphabet. Sohee feels sympathy pains for his friends. “Yup. I also have a crush on Johnny from med, but he’s graduating soon, so that’s a bummer. Oh! And our TA Jung Jaehyun! He has the face of a god!” Oh, dear. You stomp on them then finish it off with a spit on their faces. Sohee bites his lip, feeling both horrendously bad and curious as to how this shitshow will conclude. 

The three simmer in silence. You give them a raised brow.

“Why? Is there a problem?”

Oh, there’s a fucking problem, alright.

“Why are you guys looking at me like that? I did confess to all three of you saying I have a crush on you, but I never said I was in love with you.”

Well, damn.

Neither of them like you like that, but that shit hurt for no fucking reason.

“Don’t think too much of it, sillies! And I don’t get why you’re all so affected when you’re the ones who didn’t return my feelings.” 

Your laughter is poison and your smiling face is tearing them apart. You’re heartless. You’re a devil disguised as an angel. You’re from the deepest depths of hell and have come to earth for the sole reason of tooth-achingly sweet and strawberry scented torment. If they can fall to their knees right now, they would, but their pride is tattered enough already— ripped to shreds by your unapologetic bluntness and honesty.

“Anyway, since I already have plans with the three of you within the week, Sungchan’s later this evening—” The man in question is pouting. He’s pouting very hard when your eyes skip over him, and zones into the person that’s been quiet this entire time. “Sohee! Wanna go bowling with me and my bio friends this Sunday?”

That was a bomb. A large and dangerous bomb. “Sure?” Sohee responds unknowingly. You give them one last sweet smile of torture before finally leaving.

“Great! Get my number from any of them. I have to go meet some people. Later! Thanks for the snack!”

With that, you leave them behind, but not without a trace of disaster. Once they’ve confirmed you’re gone and out, signaved by the tight shutting of the door, Sungchan, Wonbin, and Seunghan look at each other. Then at Sohee. Then back at the closed door once more.

It’s quiet again. They don’t need to talk to settle with three mutual conclusions.

One. Sohee isn’t getting shit after the emotional massacre they went through. He can go crawl and scavenger for your number elsewhere for all they care.

Two. There’s no doubt. They all know you and you all know them. This is something they can’t ignore anymore, so they have to figure out how to behave in case a run in like this happens again,

And three—

You like them. All three of them. At the same time. 

Their pride can’t stand the idea of sharing that affection. Absolutely not. Therefore three must drop down to one. Sungchan, Wonbin, and Seunghan are dead set on making sure that that one is going to be him.

THREE'S A CROWD. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

୨୧⸝⸝﹕if you call me a fool, then i’ll be a fool.

SUMMARY! you’ve been in love with park wonbin since the day the two of you met and never found the courage to tell him. why is it that you find yourself yearning to confess the moment someone else comes into the picture?

PAIRING! park wonbin x fem!reader

GENRE! college!au, slice of life, fluff, angst (an attempt was made), friends to lovers, IDIOTS to lovers omg WC 8.1k

WARNING! swearing, jealousy, y/n likes wonbin an insane amount girl get up, insecurity, anton instigates like it’s his job and he’s up for a promotion, random female idol is mentioned many times (nothing against her!!), not proofread

NOTE! do u guys know what song the title is from lol.. LOL also i had another wonbin fic i wanted to post and deleted it bc it sucked so actually im posting this one as a coping mechanism

you don’t realize the way you’re staring at the back of wonbin’s head until a voice snaps you out of your trance. “do you know what you want?” shotaro asks you, waving a hand in front of your face.

currently, the two of you, along with wonbin, seunghan, and anton, are standing in line at a beverage kiosk. the latter, having already received his drink, stands to your right while shotaro stands to your left. seunghan recites his order to the employee while wonbin stands idly behind him.

“don’t even bother asking,” anton chortles, lips still wrapped around his straw. “she’s probably gonna have wonbin order for her, like always.” you lightly slap him in the arm after the words leave his mouth, eyes darting to the aforementioned boy standing merely 2 inches in front of you, hoping he hadn’t heard anton’s teasing.

“i didn’t even say anything wrong! he orders for you all the time!” the boy whines, jokingly rubbing his arm where you had hit him.

shotaro lets out a curt laugh at the interaction, knowing that anton’s words held truth to them, whether you liked to admit it or not. “it’s because she’s shy. right, y/n?” he turns to you, attempting to diffuse your embarrassment. one look at the smile on his face and anyone would be able to tell that his words were complete bullshit. the two of you knew that the real reason you liked having wonbin order for you was because you liked him.

however, for your own sake, you sigh and choose to agree with shotaro’s statement, only offering a small nod. “whatever,” anton mutters under his breath, walking over to seunghan who has his own beverage in hand.

now that you, shotaro and wonbin were the only people in line, shotaro grabs your sleeve and gently pulls you backwards, putting more distance between the two of you and the boy who was now placing his order. before shotaro says anything, you know what the topic of conversation is going to be.

“do you ever plan on telling him?” is all he inquires, his voice lowering to a whisper. you avoid his piercing gaze, instead turning to look at anton and seunghan, laughing in between sips of their respective drinks. anton is already nearly finished with his, you note.

when you’re done observing them, you shift your attention to wonbin, who has his arms crossed as he points at one of the cup sizes the kiosk has on display, indicating that it’s the one he wants.

you’re unable to see his face but you’re able to picture it better than anything. the way his lip quirks upwards in an attempt to be polite to the employee. the furrow of his brow as he asks a question.

shotaro sighs at your silence and finds it astonishing how you’re able to ogle wonbin without even looking at his face. that very sigh brings you back into reality, finally meeting the gaze of the boy currently interrogating you.

“he… doesn’t think of me that way,” you slowly tell him, as if the words would physically pain you if you uttered them too quickly. shotaro lets out a noise you can only assume was meant to be a scoff, but being passive aggressive simply doesn’t run in his blood.

“are you kiddi-“ shotaro is interrupted by wonbin holding a drink in front of your face, thus putting a barrier between the two of you. “here, y/n,” the long haired boy hums, not moving from his spot until you take the beverage filled plastic cup. if you didn’t have park wonbin tunnel vision, as shotaro likes to call it, you’d see the way anton is shaking his head and letting out a short laugh in disbelief upon witnessing the interaction. “called it,” he tells seunghan, who only blinks in confusion.

“i wasn’t sure which one you wanted, but i remembered that time we went to that other drink place and you said you really liked the strawberry one, so i got you that,” wonbin explains, holding his own straw up to his mouth. he says it nonchalantly, as if you could either finish the drink in about 5 seconds before proclaiming how much you enjoyed it, or you could throw it to the ground and curse at him for assuming the flavor you wanted, and he wouldn’t flinch either way.

“um— yes— yeah, i..” you stutter, and shotaro swears it takes everything in him not to slap his own forehead at your sudden jumpiness. “i like it, thank you. you didn’t have to, wonbin,” you exhale, holding your drink with both hands.

“yeah, well, force of habit, you know?” the boy laughs. “since i’m always ordering for you anyway.” his words cause you to tense and you can just picture anton’s shit-eating grin after he heard what wonbin said. “right, yeah,” you nod, wanting the conversation to be over with. the 5 of you continue walking throughout the mall, seunghan complaining about what a ridiculous amount of time you had all just spent at that beverage kiosk.

“force of habit is crazy,” anton decides to tease you again, earning another slap on the arm. “stop hitting me!”

besides ordering drinks for you when you hadn’t requested for him to do so, anton has noticed that wonbin also tends to subconsciously let you get away with… a lot.

he doesn’t even attempt to hide the way he rolls his eyes when he walks into the living room and sees none other than you and wonbin, the latter seated on the carpeted floor while you’re situated on the couch behind him, playing with his hair.

“i shouldn’t have come in here,” he mutters, barely audible. he’s unsure if he wanted you and wonbin to hear him, but your head snaps in his direction nonetheless. “hey, anton,” you greet him despite knowing that he’d have a lot to say about your current position. he nods his head in acknowledgement before pursing his lips. you brace yourself for whatever comment he’ll inevitably make next, morphing your lips into a straight line.

“you know,” anton starts, and you’re already holding back the urge to groan. “wonbin never lets any of us touch his hair like that.”

“right, because you guys are always so eager to play with my hair, huh?” wonbin quips sarcastically. anton shrugs, although wonbin isn’t looking at him. “so you’re saying if we wanted to, we could?” anton questions, moving across the living room to grab his phone charger, finally remembering why he had walked into the room in the first place.

“nah,” wonbin replies, “not sure why you’d want to, anyway.”

“i don’t see you questioning why y/n wants to do it,” anton insists, already making his way out of the room, pausing momentarily to hear wonbin’s response.

“she doesn’t need a reason,” his older friend says, “she’s y/n.” anton shakes his head and continues on his way. you resume treading your hand through wonbin’s hair as if nothing had happened, but unbeknownst to the boy sitting in front of you, your heart rate had increased at his words.

“he’s just jealous,” wonbin jokes. you only let out a short laugh in response. you wonder how he would react if you informed him that anton had actually sprung up that conversation because he knows about your tremendous crush on the raven haired boy.

“do you think you’d ever go blonde?” you inquire, changing the subject. he lets out a snort and tilts his head to look back at you. you’re grinning, trying to ignore the way your heart does somersaults in your chest.

“i don’t think the world is ready for that,” he laughs.

“what are we laughing about in here?” a voice sings from the door way, ripping your attention away from wonbin. you turn to the perpetrator and lock eyes with sungchan, who sends you a smile. you wave at him and he takes it as an invitation to sit himself down on the couch beside you.

“nothing much,” wonbin answers. your hands finally retreat from his hair and you miss the way his shoulders slump in response.

“right,” sungchan nods, turning his attention to whatever you and wonbin are watching on tv. in actuality, neither you nor him have been paying the television any mind for at least an hour, and only now do you realize that some sort of ocean documentary has been playing this whole time.

a few minutes of silence proceed before sungchan clasps his hands together and stands up from the couch abruptly, startling you.

“man, this has been boring,” he announces, eyes darting between the two of you, seated in the same positions as when he first entered the room. “do you guys even talk?”

“we were, actually, before you walked in,” wonbin mutters, not meaning for his words to come out as sourly as they do. sungchan raises his hands in the air in defense. “hey, my bad. i didn’t realize the two of you were having an ocean documentary date,” he retorts.

“we’re not having-“ you’re about to correct him, only for him to cut you off.

“but, you know, bin,” he says, “i’m not sure how sangah would feel about you having a movie date with another girl.”

you feel like your entire world freezes over the moment you hear those words leave sungchan’s mouth. you quickly rid your face of your crestfallen expression, not wanting to give yourself away.

“who?” you can’t stop yourself from asking, and sungchan just stares at you. wonbin waves his hand dismissively, shaking his head in annoyance. “shut up, dude.”

“wait, y/n doesn’t know about sangah?” sungchan asks, a genuinely confused look crossing over his features. “i thought you guys told each other everything.”

wonbin groans in irritation. “i haven’t told anyone, actually, because it doesn’t matter. you only know because you’re nosy as fuck.”

sungchan chuckles, and you would attempt to let out a halfhearted laugh if you didn’t feel like your chest was aching. you lick your lips and stare questioningly at the side of wonbin’s head.

“look, bro,” sungchan gestures towards you, causing wonbin to turn around and meet your disheartened eyes. his face drops slightly, and you’re not in the correct headspace to try and pinpoint why. “she’s upset because you didn’t tell her!” his friend chimes.

wonbin shakes his head, still looking at you. “she’s just some girl,” he huffs. “i don’t even know her that well.”

you scoff before plastering a wobbly smile onto your face. “i’m not upset,” your voice quivers and you hope that wonbin doesn’t notice it. you’re not sure why he decides to reassure you about sangah— whoever that is— but you pray that it’s not because he’s known about your pathetic crush on him all this time and is now feeling bad for you because he’s currently seeing someone.

of course, only your cruel mind could formulate such a sickening thought.

“i’m just.. surprised,” you conclude with an unconvincing nod. wonbin closes his eyes in annoyance, and you know it’s because of his intrusive friend standing in the doorway. “sungchan, just stop spreading shit around, alright?” he gives him a tired look, finally getting up from the floor. as wonbin makes his way past sungchan in the doorway, the taller boy gives him a playful slap on the shoulder. with wonbin having left the room, you find yourself looking to sungchan with urgency.

“who is sangah?” you plead, trying to keep your emotions at bay. the boy furrows his eyebrows, confusion settling into his features once more. “why do you care, y/n?” he asks. you know that his question doesn’t come from a place of mockery, but rather genuine interest. it hits you in that moment that sungchan, as smart as he is, happens to be absolutely terrible at taking a hint.

somehow, when it came to the long lasting feelings you harbored for one of his closest friends, sungchan was none the wiser. you surmise that he wouldn’t have teased wonbin so openly about another girl had he known about your feelings for the long haired boy.

that, you suppose, you can’t really blame him for.

“um,” you start, “he’s one of my closest friends.” your words are spoken through gritted teeth and clenched fists. “i’m just curious, you know?” the lie comes out easier than you think it should’ve.

sungchan hums, crossing his arms and giving you a curt nod. “just some girl,” sungchan tells you, repeating wonbin’s words from a few minutes ago. “yoon sangah. she’s in our music fundamentals class. like, 2 days ago, i think, she wrote her instagram handle on a slip of paper and gave it to wonbin right in front of me.” your face falls for what seems like the millionth time in the past 10 minutes. you can only offer the tall boy a nearly inaudible hum in response.

“do you think it’ll lead to anything? you know, between her and wonbin?” again, you can’t stop yourself from asking. you feel sick at the thought of playing into the role of ‘jealous, overthinking girlfriend’, and even sicker at the fact that you and wonbin aren’t even dating. what right do you have to be inquisitive about his love life?

still, you can’t help it. when sungchan takes a bit longer to respond to your question you fear you’re treading on dangerous territory, afraid that even the dense boy you’re conversing with may have cracked the code. the grin that he aims at you a few seconds later serves as reassurance that, no, he still doesn’t know anything.

“that’s a good question, y/n dearest,” he pats your shoulder lightly. “i guess only time will tell.”

you hate yourself for what you’re doing right now.

looking back on the conversation you had with sungchan hours prior to this moment, you recalled him mentioning that sangah had given wonbin her instagram. thus, like any normal person would do in your situation, you took it upon yourself to go through wonbin’s following list in an attempt to find her.

you scroll past your own account, past the accounts of your mutual friends, and a few people who you presume are some of wonbin’s classmates.

when you finally stumble across sangah’s account, your body fills with dread before you even see a proper photo of her.

judging by her profile picture alone, you can tell that she’s pretty. you’re fully looking at her profile now, and your frown only deepens. she’s beautiful.

you shake your head as if it would help ease your racing mind. she’s beautiful, yes, you think, but looks aren’t everything. you find yourself childishly crossing your fingers that sangah had the personality of an evil witch, so that even if wonbin fell victim to her physical charm, he’d be pushed away by her true nature.

you let out a quiet scoff. you can’t believe you’re sitting here thinking badly about another girl just because she might have a crush on the same man you’ve been in love with since the day you met him. in the same sense, you can’t believe that when you say that sentence out loud, it actually sounds a bit reasonable. you blame sungchan, for a moment, drawing the inference that you wouldn’t feel so insecure right now if it hadn’t been for his previous teasing.

you can’t stop yourself when you click on one of sangah’s posts. she doesn’t have many, but the few that she has have seemed to gather thousands of likes. despite this, you take note of the fact that wonbin doesn’t have any of them liked— thank god, you think to yourself. you start to analyze her photos, the faces she makes at the camera, the outfits she wears, the way her hair is styled. when studying her facial expressions, you wonder if she’s made those same faces while looking at wonbin. when taking her outfits into consideration, you wonder if wonbin has seen her wearing any of them and thought she looked particularly nice. whilst examining her hair, you resist the urge to rip out your own. it’s perfect. she’s perfect.

she’s perfect, and from what you can tell, you aren’t anything like her. so what does that make you?

you move to close the app, feeling filled to the brim with self doubt when you suddenly freeze as your phone vibrates. you hesitantly open your dms and your eyes widen as they fall upon the newest message.

[3:02 AM] 1bin_02: why are u awake

your heart races and you momentarily contemplate if wonbin had somehow set up a security camera in your bedroom without your knowledge because how on earth did he know?

you don’t ponder on the matter for long, the aforementioned boy sending another message merely a few seconds later.

[3:02 AM] 1bin_02: u have ur activity status turned on btw

exhaling a breath of relief, you type a response to him.

[3:03 AM] you: why are U awake park wonbin

[3:03 AM] 1bin_02: i just woke up like 5 minutes ago. my y/n senses were tingling and my unconscious body felt a disturbance

[3:04 AM] 1bin_02: kiddinggg

[3:04 AM] 1bin_02: but fr why are u awake

you hold your breath as you type out your next response, choosing to be daring. you decide that, even if it’s only for a few seconds, you’re no longer going to be a coward.

[3:06 AM] you: i was thinking about u

[3:06 AM] 1bin_02: ditto

[3:07 AM] 1bin_02: i know im amazing and everything but don’t let me stop u from getting ur beauty rest 🙄 jk

[3:07 AM] 1bin_02: gn dummy

you decide against saying anything else, shutting off your phone with a sigh. you are a dummy, you think, and the boy who had just given you that title has no idea that it’s all because of him.

you’re exhausted the next day, concluding that being awake at 3 in the morning despite knowing that you had a class at 8AM was not the best idea.

wonbin is quick to take note of this, poking you on your side as the two of you follow your usual route to your next lecture of the day. “i bet someone regrets staying up until 3AM, hm?” he doesn’t bother to hide his smirk as you swat his hand away. “like you weren’t up at 3AM, too,” you mutter. he clicks his tongue in response. “that was only for a few minutes,” he says, “who knows how long you were awake for, though.”

before you’re forced to dignify wonbin with a response, anton and seunghan walk up to the two of you, the latter offering a wave while the former only smiles.

“where are we headed, guys?” seunghan asks, throwing an arm around wonbin. the boy attempts to shrug him off to no avail. “anton and i wanted to go get drinks and we were wondering if you guys wanted to come with,” he grins before quietly adding, “and maybe also pay for them.”

you laugh and wonbin turns to you upon hearing it, letting out a playful scoff of his own. “can’t, y/n has class in 10 minutes or so,” he turns to the two boys who now have their eyebrows raised in apprehension. “that’s where we were headed,” he finishes.

“and you’re walking her there,” anton nods, his words posing as more of a statement than a question. you can only dramatically roll your eyes. wonbin doesn’t seem to pick up any undertones, only nodding in response. “i might be able to tag along afterwards, though. no promises.”

“well, anton,” seunghan sighs, turning to his friend, “we’ll just have to take shotaro inste-“

the boy is cut off by the sound of a girlish voice calling out wonbin’s name. all 4 of you turn around in unison, and you feel like your heart has physically sunken into the floor. sangah.

wonbin’s at a loss for words for a moment and you want to run away more than anything. you’re not prepared to see the two of them interact, especially after looking at her instagram page last night. “hey, sangah,” is all he says, a smile plastered on his face that pains you to look at.

the girl is practically beaming. “what are you up to?” she grins, her eyes not daring to look anywhere but him. his eyes flicker to you momentarily, who is struggling to breathe.

“i’m walking her—” he gestures to you and sangah finally looks away from him, eyes now trained on yours, “to class. well, i was, before these two showed up.” wonbin waves a hand in anton and seunghan’s direction, the two boys adorning matching confused expressions on their faces. nobody moves a muscle for a few seconds and you’re afraid that your rapid heartbeat can be heard atop of the pin-drop silence.

“oh! my bad,” wonbin clears his throat, “guys, this is sangah,” he gestures towards the girl, “sangah, this is… guys.” he gestures towards his friends. “and y/n,” he gestures towards you for the second time, giving you a tap on the shoulder for good measure. sangah’s mouth forms an ‘o’ and she reaches out to shake your hand. you’re positive that if it weren’t for the freezing hallways of your university, your hands would be sweating, so you silently thank whoever’s in charge of the ac for seemingly always having it cranked up to the max. you and the girl shake hands, her smile noticably brighter than yours.

“nice to meet you, y/n,” she says. “you, too,” is all you’re able to respond with, smile tight.

“nice to meet you guys, too,” she waves at anton and seunghan with both hands and they wave back, offering their own respective greetings in return. awkward.

you cough, attempting to break the silence. “this has been fun,” you press your lips together for a second, “but i’ve gotta get to class. hope you guys have fun at that drink place later, or whatever,” you trail off, the last part of your sentence aimed towards anton and seunghan. “and it was nice meeting you, again,” you add, making eye contact with sangah. she smiles. you don’t say anything to wonbin as you attempt to squeeze past him, but he grabs your arm. “i’m walking with you, remember?” he says. you resist the urge to look at sangah or anyone else in your vicinity for that matter, surprised at his words. this random girl who’s obviously into him is standing only a few inches away and wonbin still insists on walking you to class.

“it’s okay,” you shake your head, unsure. wonbin can tell that you’re beginning to feel upset and he desperately wishes that sangah and even seunghan and anton were anywhere but here. “y/n-“ he starts, you cut him off. “it’s fine, wonbin,” you reaffirm. it isn’t, though.

you begin to walk in the direction of your class and release a breath that you hadn’t known you were holding. deep down, you wanted wonbin to disregard your words and resume walking with you, leaving sangah and his friends standing in the hallway. but wonbin was too polite for that, and you couldn’t even turn around to see if he had continued to engage in conversation with the 3 of them because you felt tears forming in your eyes. stupid, stupid, stupid, you think to yourself.

unbeknownst to you, sangah was able to sense the tension in the atmosphere before anyone had even said anything to her. she kisses her teeth, scratching the side of her head. “i should probably go, too,” she tells wonbin. the boy can tell that she would’ve liked to talk more, but he wasn’t looking to become friends or even acquaintances with her. doing that would only give her the wrong idea, and he didn’t want to have any bad blood with someone he’d be forced to see nearly everyday in class. the boy nods in understanding, giving her a wave. “nice.. talking to you,” he bids her farewell, unsure of what to say, because whatever had just transpired definitely did not qualify as a conversation. the girl waves back with an unwavering smile, walking in the opposite direction you had gone.

“oh, man,” seunghan lets out a laugh he had been holding in, “that was the worst. please don’t ever put me through anything like that again.” anton silently agrees, cringing.

“is it just me,” wonbin starts, ignoring his friend’s remark, “or did y/n seem kind of upset before she left?”

anton stretches his arms slightly, eyes looking anywhere but at his dark haired friend. “wonder why that might be,” he muses under his breath, but wonbin catches it. “what do you mean?” he pushes, looking his younger friend in the eye. anton puts his hands in the air in mock surrender.

“anton, what the hell do you mean?” wonbin asks again, voice tinged with annoyance. anton shakes his head, “figure it out.”

seunghan watches his friends go back and forth, a bit confused himself. much like sungchan, he seems to be completely oblivious when it comes to the way you feel about wonbin.

you’re currently sitting in class wondering why you even bothered to show up.

you knew before you even sat down that you wouldn’t be able to process a single word of the lecture, your mind thinking over your first official encounter with sangah.

ever since last night, you’ve started to dread moments like these— none of your friends being around to distract you, leaving you alone with your own miserable thoughts. it feels as though each minuscule moment of silence is filled with your insecurities being pushed to the forefront of your mind.

what did they talk about after you had left? did seunghan and anton decide to leave shortly after, leaving wonbin and sangah alone? did they grow closer in the small amount of time they were left together? even worse, what if the amount of time they spent together wasn’t small at all? oh god, what if they’re still together right now?

had anton, seunghan or, worst of all, wonbin decided to invite sangah to their aforementioned drink hangout? your mind drifts to the image of wonbin ordering a drink for sangah, the same way he always does for you, and you feel like bursting into tears similarly to the way you had almost done so on your way to class.

and sangah— god, you wanted to hate her so bad. your prayers that she had the personality of a wicked witch were thrown out the window the second she opened her mouth. she was so nice to you. the guy that she likes had openly expressed that he wanted to walk you to class and she still smiled at you. she’s got the most perfect appearance and most perfect attitude and you feel like you can’t compete with any of it.

you check your phone for the first time in approximately 30 minutes, eager for a distraction. you’re dismayed to see only 3 notifications, one from the boy who seems the root of every current problem in your life, and two from sungchan.

[10:04 AM] bin 🫶: everything ok??

[10:16 AM] sungchani: hey

[10:16 AM] sungchani: we’re all gonna hang out on friday night (as decided by me just now) and u will be coming! (also decided by me just now)

you open your phone, typing a quick response to wonbin about how everything is fine (lie) and sending another short message in hopes of steering the conversation in a different direction. you open the two messages from sungchan, shaking your head as if he’d be able to sense your attitude through the screen.

[10:48 AM] you: who’s “we” exactly…. and what will “we” be doing

[10:50 AM] sungchani: don’t act dumb girl… me, you, taro, seunghan, anton and wonbin obviously. was gonna see if eunseok and sohee could make it but i doubt eunseok would wanna and i think sohee’s doing some group assignment lolol

[10:51 AM] sungchani: as for your other question i was thinking about going to the movies yay or nay? (say yay)

[10:51 AM] you: pass

[10:52 AM] sungchani: perfect see u there!

you don’t bother responding to sungchan’s final message, knowing that no amount of opposition from you would deter him. he’d probably drag you all the way to the theater himself if he had to. but you really don’t want to go, feeling drained from the thoughts that have been plaguing your mind ever since sungchan mentioned sangah for the first time. you’d much rather spent your friday night in bed, trying to give your brain a much needed break. maybe if you really felt like torturing yourself, you’d pull up sangah’s instagram once more.

when class ends, you’re shocked to find anton waiting for you outside of the lecture hall. he’s holding a plastic cup filled with chai tea, leaning against the wall leisurely as he sips through an orange straw. he doesn’t look in your direction, which confuses you, because you’re undoubtedly the reason he’s currently standing outside of your classroom.

“lee anto-“ the boy in question cuts you off by lifting his index finger in front of your face, still not looking at you. you scoff in irritation, not wanting to deal with his antics in your current state.

“you’re coming on friday, yes?” he questions, his voice slightly above a whisper. “not if i don’t have to,” you say, your voice at a normal volume. anton, finally looking you in the eyes, presses his index finger to his lips as if to indicate that you need to be quieter. “you do have to,” he nods.

you pinch the bridge of your nose. “why the hell are you whispering?” you scowl, and he keeps his index finger on his lips. you groan before reluctantly lowering your voice to match his, despite the fact that you still don’t know why he wants you to do so. “what’s going on?” you inquire.

“you have to come on friday,” he repeats quietly, “and you’re gonna tell dark star that you’re in love with him.”

you blink. “who?” anton leans his head back in annoyance before mouthing, “PARK WONBIN.” you recoil for a myriad of reasons. “first of all, i’m not coming on friday,” your voice slightly increases in volume, “and even if i was, i most definitely would not use it as an opportunity to confess to wonbin. and why in the world did you just call him that?” you finish, exasperated.

anton only sips his drink, his aura calm and collected. “you’re going,” he answers pointedly, “because if you don’t, dark star is gonna find out either way.”

your eyes widen and you feel like all of the air has left your lungs. “what do you mean by that? you wouldn’t actually-“

“i would, though. if telling dark star about your crush on him would get you to stop pining after him like a fool, why wouldn’t i? and, in addition,” anton fully turns to you, his voice raising to a light mumble, “i saw the way you reacted when sarah started talking to him earlier.”

“it’s sangah,” you deadpan. anton waves his hand dismissively. “not the point. with the way you acted earlier, you would’ve thought they were getting married right in the middle of that hallway,” he sounds concerned as he speaks the words, not looking anywhere but at you.

“i’m not saying that wonbin— dark star, i mean, has a thing for sandra right now. frankly, i don’t think he cares about her at all,” anton continues, “but if you’re that worried about some random girl taking him away from you when they’ve known each other for like, a week, i think that’s a sign that it might be a good idea to tell him how you’re feeling.”

you look down, letting his words settle into your mind. “i’ll come on friday,” you nod, and the boy in front of you smiles at your words, “but i have to give the whole confessing to wonbin thing a bit more thought. i mean, it’s kind of sudden.” anton’s advice actually made sense, you think, but you’re not sure if you’re ready to tell the boy you’ve been harboring feelings for all this time that you’re in love with him on a random friday night.

“sudden?” anton asks, breaking you out of your thoughts. “i think it’s long overdue. fire tornado hector thinks so, too,” he tells you.

you turn to him, dumbfounded. “where the hell are you getting these names from?!”

friday night comes in the blink of an eye and you’re standing in the lobby of the theater with shotaro, anton, seunghan, and sungchan. wonbin is nowhere to be seen.

“i told him 7PM sharp,” sungchan murmurs impatiently, checking his watch. shotaro turns to anton, jokingly hitting the younger boy on the arm with a laugh. “imagine he just decided to stay home,” he chuckles, “i bet y/n would be relieved.”

“why would she be relieved?” seunghan intrudes curiously. anton shrugs. “i told her she had to confess to wonbin tonight,” he says casually, as if he hadn’t just revealed your not-so-secret secret to an unsuspecting seunghan. the older boy’s eyebrows raise at anton’s words, his lips parting.

“you like wonbin?” he questions you eagerly. “dude, i can’t believe you didn’t know by now,” anton answers in your place as you press your lips together. “and we won’t be using the name wonbin when he arrives. he’s dark star. the codename helps when you’re trying to be discreet,” he finishes.

“yeah, because you know all about being discreet, right?” you reply, voice laced with sarcasm. anton knows that you’re referring to the way he had exposed your feelings for wonbin merely 30 seconds ago, avoiding your gaze as he whistles idly.

“sorry i’m late, guys,” the man of the hour exhales as he walks up to the 5 of you. sungchan studies wonbin, unimpressed. the latter can sense his older friend’s agitation, clicking his tongue. “you’ll forgive me once you find out why i’m late,” he assures, “look who i brought with me.”

you can’t prevent the way your heartbeat escalates, both at the mere presence of wonbin and the words that have just left his mouth. you’re unsure if you even want to find out who he’s brought with him, fearing the worst.

“sohee! eunseok!” you hear sungchan exclaim, excitedly making his way over to the two figures that have just entered the theater. he wraps his lengthy arms around both of them simultaneously.

“guess our invitations got lost in the mail, huh?” eunseok muses, returning his friend’s embrace. the three of them return to where you and the others are standing and sungchan scratches the back of his neck. “my bad, man,” he utters bashfully, “the movie we’re watching is pretty lame. didn’t think you’d be into it.”

“still, it’s an excuse to see you guys,” eunseok shrugs, turning to greet everyone else. sohee does the same, wrapping his arms around you before anyone else.

“y/n! it’s been forever,” he grins, you return it. “it’s been… 2 weeks,” you tell him, hugging him back nonetheless. “i still missed you, though,” you hum. “stop hogging him, y/n!” seunghan teases, “we haven’t seen him in weeks either!”

the two of you release each other, and when you turn, wonbin is at your side. he taps your arm. “why don’t you greet me like that?” he feigns jealousy, pursing his lips. you smile at him, hoping to mask your nervousness, “i see you everyday.”

he rolls his eyes. “that doesn’t mean you can’t miss me.”

“i always do,” you say absentmindedly. by the time your words register, wonbin is already grinning. “ditto,” he mutters, his words meant for only you to hear.

he turns away before you can comment, and eunseok takes his place beside you. he wraps an arm around your shoulders, greeting you. you think nothing of his actions before he leans down, angling his head so that it’s directly next to your ear. “i heard about healing michael’s plan,” he whispers, “the one about getting you to confess to dark star.”

“please don’t start this,” you plead, “i cannot deal with these nicknames right now. and how do you know about that?”

“um,” he starts, moving his head away from yours, “obviously healing michael filled me in on everything. just because we don’t physically see each other everyday doesn’t mean we don’t have a group chat.” he moves back to the previous topic, “he threatened to tell dark star about how you’re madly in love with him, right? he’s bluffing,” eunseok explains, “if you confess to dark star tonight, it should be because you really love him. not because anton frightened you into doing it.”

you nod at eunseok’s words, unsure. “and,” he continues, “it shouldn’t be about some other girl that might like him, either.” he takes note of the way your eyes widen a fraction. “yeah, anton told me about that, too,” he nods as you make a mental reminder to yell at anton later for airing out your business.

“what i’m saying, y/n, is make sure that you’re telling him how you feel, not for anyone else, but for you. well, and for him. and for you and him, together,” eunseok concludes, “don’t let healing michael or sandy get in the way of it.”

“it’s sangah,” you sigh, in awe of the fact that you’ve had to correct both him and anton. sungchan appears to have heard your final words, perking up at the mention of wonbin’s classmate.

“sangah? we’re talking about sangah?” he blurts out, turning to wonbin with a smile. “bro, we totally should’ve invited her,” he jokes, slapping his friend on the arm, “seeing her and wonbin interact in the theater would’ve been hilarious.” everyone grows tense at sungchan’s teasing— he was somehow still the only one unaware of your feelings for wonbin.

wonbin only shakes his head in response, his first instinct being to look over at you. you’re wearing that same disheartened look on your face as the first time you found out about sangah, and he can hardly breathe. his eyes narrow at the sight of eunseok’s arm still hanging off your shoulders.

“sungchan, when does the movie start? we’ve been standing here for a while,” shotaro states, attempting to alleviate the situation. “oh, we still have about,” sungchan checks the time on his watch, “ten minutes before the trailers even start playing,” he responds.

shotaro ushers the group over to the concession counter, quickly making some excuse about everyone needing to choose their snacks for the movie. “amateurs,” sungchan mutters, “who doesn’t bring their own snacks to the movies?”

wonbin finds his place beside you again, briefly studying your features. he notices the way you stand stiffly in your spot and the slight wrinkle between your brows. “hey,” he tries to get your attention. your eyes soften as they meet his that are flooded with worry. “i’m sorry,” he frowns, “about what happened back there. i don’t know why he keeps mentioning her.”

you’re puzzled and, yet again, asking yourself if he’s apologizing because he knows that you have feelings for him or if it’s because he still thinks you’re upset that he didn’t tell you about sangah sooner.

you prayed that he wasn’t apologizing due to the former, but why would he even need to apologize if it was the latter? if nothing was going on between wonbin and sangah, he had no reason to tell you about her. you press your lips into a tight line. maybe that was it— something was going on between them. that’s why he’s saying sorry to you right now, because he regrets not telling you before when you’re supposed to be one of his closest friends.

and that’s all you’ll ever be to him, because you were too much of a coward to confess to him when you had the chance. you think about how disappointed your friends are going to be once you break the news to them that you wouldn’t be confessing to wonbin tonight, or ever.

“don’t apologize, wonbin,” you quietly tell him, and he wonders why it seems as though you’re about to cry. he shakes his head, getting the sense that you misunderstood his words. he looks back at your mutual friend group, seeing that they’re all preoccupied. wonbin seizes the opportunity, grabbing your hand and taking you to a secluded area of the theater.

“please don’t tell me not to apologize,” he breathes, “because i have so much to apologize to you for.”

you’re confused and concerned, your lips parting slightly. you don’t have the chance to savor the feeling of wonbin’s hand still holding yours because you’re mentally preparing yourself for whatever words he’s about to say. this is it, you tell yourself. you stare at the ground, anticipating the feeling of disappointment and rejection.

“i like you so much.”

you stop breathing as the words leave wonbin’s mouth. you’re terrified to look up, unsure if you’d even heard him correctly. he responds to your unvoiced worries by repeating the statement.

“i like you so much, and i’m sorry for holding it in this long,” he says breathlessly, “i’m sorry for letting sungchan talk about sangah all the time, because i didn’t want you to think that i could ever like anyone else.”

he continues despite your silence. “and i’m sorry for telling you all of this in a movie theater, of all places. i’ve been psyching myself up for weeks, but i couldn’t stand the thought of you not knowing any longer. i’m tired of misunderstandings.”

he finally takes a deep breath, and you look up at him for the first time. “are you serious?” is all you’re able to say. you want to be 100% sure that your mind isn’t being as cruel as it normally is when it comes to park wonbin.

he nods, appearing to be just as nervous as you are, and you think that’s good enough of an indicator that he’s not joking.

“you fool,” you breath out in utter disbelief, not knowing if your words are directed at wonbin or yourself. the boy looks troubled for a moment before he hears a noise similar to a sob leave your mouth.

you hide your face with your hands. “i was supposed to be the one to confess to you.”

it’s wonbin’s turn to be silent now, listening to you rant. “it was this whole thing— healing michael, dark star.. eunseok knew about it, and shotaro..” you trail off. your words don’t even make sense to yourself, and you doubt they make any sense to the boy in front of you. “my god, wonbin— i’ve liked you since the day i met you!” you cry, hands still obstructing your vision.

wonbin hesitantly takes it upon himself to grab your wrists, removing your hands from your face. “do you mean that?” he asks, trying to meet your gaze.

you don’t look him in the eye as you continue rambling. “i was so scared,” you tell him, “sungchan mentioned her out of nowhere that day and i was so scared. i thought she was your secret girlfriend, or something.” you feel stupid for telling him all of this, finally admitting to your jealousy.

“when i saw her for the first time, i thought it was over,” you shake your head, “someone so pretty having a crush on you? i felt like nothing next to her. sungchan even told me that she wrote down her instagram and casually handed it to you— i’d kill to be that confident in myself,” you’re not even paying attention to the words leaving your mouth anymore, wanting to get everything you’ve been holding in out of your system.

when you finally look at wonbin’s face, he looks sad, which startles you. you’re afraid that you’ve just killed his mood with your venting. “i’m sorry— i didn’t me-“ you’re interrupted by wonbin pulling you to his chest, shaking his head at your words. “you fool,” he repeats your words from minutes ago. “i can’t believe you’ve been feeling that way about yourself.”

he keeps you in his embrace as if you’d run away if he were to let go. “i can’t think of anyone prettier than you,” he mutters, “or nicer, or funnier. or anything, really, because i think of you more than anyone else. i guess it’s my fault, kind of. i could’ve expressed it in ways other than walking you to class and ordering dumb overpriced drinks for you.” you let out a quiet laugh at his last sentence and he smiles, pulling away slightly so he’s able to see your face.

“i guess we’re both kind of stupid,” you conclude, earning a nod from the dark haired boy. “only when it comes to you,” he says, “i happen to think i’m very intelligent on every other occasion.”

when you finally regroup with everyone, they’re all wearing looks of disappointment on their faces. upon asking what happened, eunseok shoves a thumb in sungchan’s direction, the brown haired boy adorning a sheepish expression. “this fucker got the time wrong. the movie was at 6:15, not 7:15,” eunseok grimaces, “i better get a refund for my ticket.”

“you didn’t even pay for it,” wonbin says, “i did. sohee’s, too.”

anton, having been the first one to notice both yours and wonbin’s disappearance from the group, narrows his eyes at the boy. “and where were you?” he raises a brow, attempting to look intimidating. wonbin dismisses him with the wave of a hand.

before you and wonbin decided to rejoin your friends, you had to tell him not to hold your hand, much to his dismay. only after discovering the reason why, did he reluctantly agree.

you stand as far away from wonbin as possible, putting on a melancholy act. shotaro is the first to take notice of this, putting a hand on your shoulder. “did you tell him?” he questions, your silence serving as an answer in itself. eunseok overhears, looking at you with pity in his eyes.

when anton finally sees the distance put between you and wonbin, he concludes that you weren’t able to tell him about your feelings. he sighs, shaking his head.

as if on cue, you look at wonbin with determination burning in your eyes, beginning to advance towards him. the group is silent as they watch the two of you curiously.

“dark star,” you begin straightforwardly, “i’m in love with you.” wonbin tries concealing his laughter as he swiftly takes in the reactions of his friends. eunseok smiles knowingly while anton and shotaro are wide-eyed. seunghan wears an amused expression, sohee’s eyebrows are raised, and on top of it all, sungchan looks incredibly confused.

wonbin, keeping up the act, covers his mouth in mock astonishment. “did you guys hear that?” he turns to his friends, who are now all aware that they’re being pranked. “my girlfriend is in love with me!” wonbin beams, “metal blaze, i accept your confession.”

eunseok clicks his tongue, nodding. “metal blaze, that’s a good one,” he notes under his breath.

“alright, we get it,” anton groans, “it took you guys long enough.” he turns to you, unable to stop a smile from forming. “i hope you know i was never actually going to tell him myself. i only said that in hopes of scaring you into telling him.”

you nod, “eunseok told me that already. and it wasn’t me that confessed to wonbin— he confessed to me.” everyone is shocked at your comment, seunghan walking behind wonbin and giving him a congratulatory slap on the shoulder. you purposefully skip over the fact that you all but cried to wonbin immediately after said confession about how much you liked him in return, and he pinches your side.

“you know, when you guys disappeared, i made a bet with shotaro that you guys were probably making out somewhere,” eunseok adds, “he said you guys were probably just in the middle of the whole confessing thing. i owe him seven bucks now.” shotaro pats him on the back with false sympathy.

as the topic of conversation shifts to something else, sungchan’s jaw is still practically on the floor. he looks at the way wonbin has his arm around your shoulders, head practically buried in your neck. he can’t stop himself from blurting out his next words.

“has y/n had a crush on wonbin this entire time?!”

AUTHOR’S NOTE! congrats to u if u survived reading all that ohhh lord i promise i’ll make y/n less unbearable next time but for now u guys are just gonna have to find it in ur hearts to forgive me… also it’s 5am rn and idk if i hate this fic umm we’ll see if i regret posting this when i wake up tmr