I Know! Though I Do Think That Some Of Them Might’ve Had Platonic Crushes (”squishes”) Rather Than

It’s funny being somewhat extroverted and being aroace. I love it! I feel like a double agent.

Also the line between romance and friendship is so convoluted at this point that I really don’t see the difference. People kiss their friends. They make out with their friends. I mean people even fuck their friends. So where is the line. I’d say it depends on a) your boundaries, b) how you feel, and c) and where you’re at right now. Basically, all of it is subjective and I can’t tell when people are in relationships, so I always assume that they are friends cause I can’t tell. 

I know it isn’t the best to be “pal paling” people, but I wouldn’t deem it a bad thing. There’s barely any aro-spec representation. Everyone has a story to tell, and perhaps even through little things, you should share your story.

On a side note, I’m literally creating a story because I decided to create my own representation. First it was for gender, now it’s for ma sexuality and romantic orientation.

I’m so fucking aro and ace

I dunno...some more rambles

So I’m aroace...pretty sure I’m repulsed by romance and sex, but like sometimes the romance is just fucking cute and sex scenes are just a bore...like dude....I’m lookin’ for actual plot (also sometimes when they come up I’m like...welp I guess it’s a death day). Anyways, I’m working on being romance and sex positive because I wanna respect other people, even if I don’t necessarily understand it. But also when I read loveless I didn’t necessarily know I was aroace...and I was like “I gotta experience some ATTRACTION!”...so I thought I was aroflux/aceflux and then I saw Jaiden Animations video and it finally clicked...but now I know why I thought many things were stange. HURRAH!!! Also a-spec peeps, have some cake or garlic bread or really just some food...cause food is legit. 

The struggles real, am I right?

Being polyamorous while also being aroace has been the most confusing shit of my life. I just wanna vibe in a polycule and I want to feel cared for. I feel cared for my friends at the moment, so I’m okay now, but it’d be nice in the future, cause I don’t wanna live alone. I really shoulda known I was aro though....like the signs were so obvious...and ace even more obvious. I am glad though that I basically embody chaos at this point.

Toxic Friendships

As the title says I’m going to talk about toxic friendships because they’re shitty as hell dude. Like there were these two people that I knew, well okay we go to the same school and well one of ‘em was possessive of me, and didn’t respect my physical boundaries and he’d always lean on me (without asking mind you) during the classes we had together, and we still unfortunately have those same classes together, but I sit with other people who respect me, which wow...it’s truly amazing. This person and another person put down my art and called it projection every time I would show them a piece and they brought down one of my closest friends. I’m in the midst of relearning some social skill that I had learned from those unhealthy relationships. Also the physical-boundary-person and the rip-my-confidence-for-showing-art-person were really judgemental, not that I’m not judgemental at all, but they for sure clouded my judgement. I hung out with both of them because I was scared and insecure, and then I started loving myself and I started seeing the cracks. Also the symbiote-person liked me at a certain point, making the “affection” make me feel as if I were being taking advantage of because I gave them a second chance, hell I might’ve given him more than he deserved. I understand that they both have shit going on. I GET THAT! I just don’t want them to hurt other people and that includes themselves. They need to grow up for fucks sake! I’m just so tired of having to be sympathetic towards people who hurt me! I know I definitely contributed and I’m sorry that I did! They are like babies (or just middle schoolers...no offence to anyone who’d in middle school)! I’m tired of having to be mature! I’m tired of feeling hurt! I’m tired of seeing their guilty faces! Okay one of them always looks guilty and he also stares at me (symbiote-person) sometimes and it’s creepy as hell! I deleted their contacts because I need to let them go, but it’s so hard because I still feel so hurt and I’m scared that one of ‘em will try to pull me back. I’m so scared. I’m scared to be vulnerable again. I want to be strong, but what if I’m judged so hard. I’m so fucking scared. I wanna be a better friend to other people than they ever were to me. 

Okay so recently I’ve been watching shows from the early 2000s and the queercoding is so fucking high. For example, I recently watched Malcolm in the Middle. I mainly talking about Malcolms older brother Reese. The dude married a man at one point and he also brought up that it was cool to have two dads cause some kid had two dads. Oh he also almost married a girl too. Dude’s a bicon or somethin’. I could definitely be overanalyzing and overthinking this, but it’s just a thought. As an aroace I need other peeps’ thoughts because I’m just goin’ off of what I saw in the show.

Just a casual aroace doing really random ramblings :)

Hello there fellow people of the internet, I’ve recently discovered that I’m aroace and I dunno why I’m telling you this, but hi. Onto ramblings we go: Whenever someone talks about a romantic relationship I don’t get it, like good for you I guess. I guess I don’t understand, hence the lack of attraction...also it scares me that there are people my age who’ve done it (teens)...like WHAT?! That is probably due to my aceness...although I didn’t think I was ace for a year...until I realized that you can indeed be a disaster aroace. But also I only really understand platonic relationships and I’ve always had some amount of repulsion to kissing/”the deed” scenes...though I it doesn’t bother as much with the kissing scenes, but if someone were to kiss me...like bro...6 feet apart or farther please. Though then there’s some of my aegoness that confuses me and sometimes I do experience sensual and aesthetic attraction, but it’s worse when I get squish...those...those suck, but not in a bad way...but please let me be your friend. I really went from: “Huh I haven’t liked anyone, but I’m touch starved, so I’m just gonna pick someone who’s nice...but I must be pan.” (shoutout to all my panros/pans)....and now I’m like: “Yep...definitely aroace...kinda wish I knew this in middle school...but now isn’t a bad time...NOW TO WORRY ABOUT THE FUTURE!”

#aroace #rambles #aromantic #aego #asexual #asexual as fuck #aromantic as fuck #asexual

short story? (fictional..I guess)

Tuesday, 1:45 pm

Today was a windy day on the East bay. My feet are crunching the blank ground beneath my feet. I’m wearing a jacket but it’s so cold! The wool socks I’m wearing are a bit wet, and that was when I remembered I had hot chocolate at home. As I was on my way home, I see these to people close together. What are they doing? Why are they kissing? Aren’t they a bit close? Are they friends? I don’t know what to think.

I spot someone else across the street, and I could sense their jealousy of the close two. Then I heard the the two say, “I love you, my sweet sunshine!”, at the same time, but it wasn’t exact.

They’re in love. Love! What utter bullshit. 

I hurried along the snow, almost frustrated. Okay, not almost, I was frustrated. I AM FRUSTRATED! Why am I so frustrated?! Oh I’m home. Great.

My stiff discolored hands reach for the doorknob. It’s so cold and metallic. As I open the oak doors to my home, I close it just as quickly. 

SIGH

My mind is carrying a weight that I don’t to be true. I can’t fall in love. Well, at least, I don’t think so. Oh how I wish I could feel those wonderful feelings.

I enter my disheveled room, not prepared for anything, so I collapse onto my bed in all my warm clothes. 

Wednesday, 3 am

I’m hungry. My eyes are a bit blurry, so I rub them, so I can see once again. It’s 3 AM!! My stomach hurts, so I go to the kitchen, and look at my fridge.

It’s empty. Great! Just great.

I spot a remote to left and pick it to turn on my tv, then I hear my ringer go off. It’s my best friend, Jean. Well, I have a few best friends, and I love them so much. It’s not romantic...is there a word for that? ...I mean there can’t be...can there?

I pick up my phone and this is how the conversation goes:

Me: Fitz?! Isn’t it a bit late?

Fitz: lol Jet lol, why r u up at this time?

Me: I...I couldn’t sleep. 

Fitz: lol same.

Me: Fitz, I need help? 

Fitz: okay bestie! what u need help with?

Me: Well...I think I’m broken?!

Fitz: WOAH THERE!!! Who are you and what did you do to my bestie?!

Me: pfft...OH GOD it’s 4 am already!!!

Fitz: 9 pm over here baBY!

Me: I can’t fall in love...is that bad?

Fitz: Bro...why’d u thing it was wrong?

Me: because I’ve been told that I’ll fall in love with somebody, but it is yet to happen.

Fitz: u could be...aromantic? #noromo

Me: I’ve gotta feel a little attraction...right?

Fitz: Mate, calm ya tits, and look the damn thing up!

Me: okay okay...I WILL :{

.....

...

Fitz: Good night Jet, you’re an amazing friend :O

Me: Thanks, gn

Fitz: ‘night

12 hours later

OH shit...I fell asleep with the tv on! And yesterday...oh GOD!!! I miss Fitz. They were such a good friend...and I guess I’ll take their advice...not that I want to. I open up my computer and start typing in “Signs I might be aromantic?” and “What does it mean to be aromantic?”, and lastly “Am I aro?”. I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole, but OOO!

Th-that’s me...THAT’S ME!! Fitz was right...I am aromantic.... Wait there’s other like me. THere’s a whole spectrum?! ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!! WHY aren’t we taught this earlier?! If only I found out sooner...then everything would have hurt less. Well, it’s not like I can change much, so I guess I’m glad I came to this strange conclusion?

So yeah yesterday was cold, but now I feel a bit warmer knowing a bit more about myself. So HAH! Take that world! I’m gonna soar beyond and create my own path because I don’t need to fall in love to be human. Why is it shown so much though? The media is weird. Okay....a lot of things are weird. 

Figuring out wtf my aro identity is...but like...I have an idea...I guess

Alright so I’m 100% certain I’m romance repulsed by well anything romantic irl (not that I could tell...thank the universe)....but also I’m 100% sure I absolutely love seeing some really well thought out romance stories...like sometimes they’re just so good and when they’re queer they’re even better. Sometimes though I do find it tiring to look at/read and would like to read an adventure story or a mystery story instead. What I don’t get is why some people like the toxic relationships...I guess I just don’t understand because there are some toxic relationships in my family...but yeah the healthy ones are just wholesome af. I usually find stories like heartstopper or skam (the original one though...haven’t watched the others) to be extremely wholesome...OH also Green and Gold...also the art style is just so soft.

Hi! I am really hoping to get a little bit of help as I've had a bit of hardluck fall on me this month. Trying to hold it together for the kids but any help would really be a blessing You've been a great help to me and the kids🙏❤️🙏

PLS HELP AND SHARE IF YOU CAN AND READ MY PINNED

I hear you!! We gotta help this STRONG homie!! Things to help 'em would be as listed...SUIT UP fellows!!!

Reblogging

Crossposting

Sharing through email/messages/etc

Word of mouth

Whatever you can come up with that can help a fellow person.