You All Hurt The Feelings I Dont Have

me: puts forth minimal effort in an attempt to solve a problem

me: ive tried EVERYTHING

shoutout to me for ruining my own life

This might come as a shock to some of you but saying “I’m not informed enough on this particular topic to have an opinion” is about 100 times more respectable than being misinformed

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Enneatype’s Blindspot

Enneatype 1: Criticism

Ones are often unaware of their tendency to be critical and its affect on their relationships. They are on a mission to set the world straight. Their attempt to do so often comes across as criticism and nagging. Ones believe that they know how things should be and feel that they have an obligation to fix the flaws in their environment. They feel that they are only trying to be helpful and are often surprised when others interpret their comments as a criticism. 

Enneatype 2: Demandingness 

Twos are often unaware of their tendency to be demanding and its affect on their relationships. Twos may act like a spoiled and pampered prince or princess and demand that they are appreciated. They exert pressure on others to meet their needs, but feel they deserve this special treatment because they do so much, and care so much, for others. They express their entitlement as, “That’s what I would do for you.”

Enneatype 3: Inauthencity

Threes are often unaware of their tendency to be inauthentic and its affect on their relationships. Because of their desire to put a positive spin on everything they do, Threes fall into the habit of deceiving themselves, and sometimes others. Because they are pragmatists, they look for the best solution and the most effective action even if it involves shading the truth. They do not consider their deceit as lying, but rather as reframing or “spinning.”

Enneatype 4: Self Absorption 

Fours are often unaware of their tendency to be self absorbed and its affect on their relationships. They find their own lives and internal states far more interesting than anybody else’s. Because they feel they have been cheated by life, but no one else has, they feel that the focus should be on them and their problems.

Enneatype 5: Intellectual Arrogance

Fives are often unaware of their tendency to be intellectually arrogant and the effect it has on their relationships. They spend much of their time thinking about and analyzing life, while other people spend more time actually living life. Consequently, Fives think that other people are less thoughtful and insightful and in the extreme, stupid and dull

Enneatype 6: Complaining

Sixes are often unaware of their tendency to complain and its affect on their relationships. Because Sixes do not trust their own thought process they are constantly trying to gauge other people’s reactions (to test the waters) to a given stimulus to see if there is a threat that needs attention. They complain to see if people agree or disagree with them as a way of finding where people stand.

Enneatype 7: Distractibillity

Sevens are often unaware of their tendency to be easily distracted and its impact on their relationships. Sevens continually attempt to avoid unpleasant thoughts, feelings, and experiences. By not focusing on any one thing for too long, Sevens avoid the possibility of something becoming unpleasant. Because they move from topic to topic so quickly, others may feel ignored or left in the dust.

Enneatype 8: Abusiveness

Eights are ofen unaware of their tendency to be abusive and its affect on their relationships. They don’t see that others view their “straight talk and tough love” as abuse. Although they claim that they are trying to help by being honest and fair, they are often lashing out at the weakness and incompetence they see in others and fear seeing in themselves.

Enneatype 9: Passive-Aggressiveness.

Nines are often unaware of their tendency to get their way passively rather than actively and the impact this has on their relationships. For instance, they may get out of performing an unpleasant task by dragging their feet, being forgetful, making promises that they do not keep, and so forth. Others are often frustrated by their seeming stubbornness.

My waking and sleeping seem mixed together. I’m walking in a dream half the time, and sleeping through reality the other half.

Margaret Weis, Dragons of Spring Dawning  (via entp-mess)

A collection of So-blind descriptions

Here are some theory-grounded descriptions of So-blindness that we relate to:

“ Soc blind spot 

It’s hard to concern self with another’s agenda. Don’t want to deal with ‘their stuff’ 

Dismissive

Cynicism around idealism—connecting socially will cost me something. Interactions are draining

Fear of being emotionally crippled

Can’t connect with people

You’re ‘broken’

A self-knowledge of being ungracious

It’s hard to take in the gifts and generosity of others

One doesn’t let oneself try to interact or find out

Projected fear - if I ignore others, they will ignore me

There’s an expectation of humiliation

A desire not to impose self on people in fear of not being wanted, or being klutzy

And you can’t repair the social blind spot in isolation. You need others. Ask for help ” 

“ So blind spot 

Neglect of social groups, detrimental withdrawing tendency or socially antagonistic streak, overemphasis on self or a partnership, lack or altruism, overindulgence, preference of a private setting, pessimism

Self-importance

Obsession/addiction, impoliteness, unrealistic views, misanthropy (!)

Snarky, desperate lone wolf. (You and) me against the world

Hatred for social gatherings

Rejecting everyone but expecting help/ pitying oneself when all hell breaks loose

Clingy

Assuming everyone´s out there to get them

Isolating self-image from societal context

Too rebellious for their own good ” 

“ More on SO blind spot 

When the social instinct is least developed, the individual [finds] it difficult to see why it is important to form social connections or to cultivate multiple relationships

This [leads to] a certain amount of social isolation

And, as we all must find a niche in the larger whole, those whose social instinct is least developed, can find it difficult to negotiate the needs of the social realm which make this possible

[They] find interdependence difficult and dependence on others barely tolerable

But all human beings are interdependent, and sometimes, dependent [for instance when they are] young, weak, sick, old, or dying

Those whose social instinct remains undeveloped are trying to attain a type of independence and self-sufficiency which is not possible for human beings

This ‘false independence’ almost certainly leads to unnecessary suffering and impoverishment of experience ” 

From these three descriptions it can be seen that the most negative aspects of So-blindness is not necessarily how one comes off to others (as in rudeness or creating an anti-social image, though that may be a by-product), but rather the problem that is created for the so-blind themselves when they over-isolate and try to be impossibly independent. These are key qualities of So-blindness, the rest is up to how the individual manages those qualities.

I wish it were possible to skip the beginning stages of friendship and just become best friends immediately.

“She has a charming nature; rather whimsical, and even sensual.”

— Virginia Woolf, from a letter to Vanessa Bell written c. July 1910 (via violentwavesofemotion)