Vincent Giarrano On Instagram

wooooooooooooooooooooooow

This is so beautiful and took a lot of patience!!! ✊

another art block means another wolfstar 

i’m grateful that i can allow myself to be enamored with you while you nap on my bed. i can quietly study the parts of you: the skin of your leg propped up near your hip in an attempt to get comfortable, the curl of your hands around one another aside the pillow. if i could paint, i would use infatuated strokes to capture this moment: you as you are right now, perfect, unchanging, forever on canvas.

i did not fall in love with you recklessly, nor like you fall asleep now, but walked into love with you eyes wide open. i observed you quietly, from a distance, for weeks on end, with nothing but my own yearning to keep me company. i learned the ways that you move, speak, breathe, imprinting each mannerism on the backs of my eyelids. it only made it more momentous when you finally looked back without averting your eyes.

richard siken, in pithead chapel

damn, i feeelll.....*gasp*....oLd!!!!!

So I decided to look up what songs are turning 10 this year and I'm very *dabs* old and upset

lily evans potter: womanhood, motherhood & morality

lily as the dream girl in canon and fan spaces

i want to talk about this while there isn't a current upsurge in the discourse

Lily Evans Potter is introduced to us as Lily Potter, the dead mother of Harry Potter. Lily and James potter, dead, leaving their poor, miraculous son to live with the dull, horrible Durselys. We only ever see her through, with the exception of her sister, the memory of men.

I've said before that I believe James and Lily are the ideal masculine and ideal feminine, both to Harry and in a metatextual way. parents are our introduction into gender roles, the "correct" way to be a man and woman. since Lily is dead she cannot disappoint Harry. she can be imagined as the perfect woman, which is, of course, a wife and mother. the dream girl!

Lily's death makes her a silent, ever-loving, beautiful young mother, for both Harry and the reader. James is slightly deconstructed in SWM, but Lily is not. She is a fierce protector, brave, clever, and only emotional (angry) once James, her future husband, provokes her enough.

in the text Lily is not truly presented as flawed in a meaningful way. the moral choices she makes: to build a relationship with Severus, to defend Severus, to break their relationship when he refuses to reject bigotry, to join the Order, to die for her child, are all the correct moral choices. these are the choices the narrative is telling us to respect.

women have, for the past 200 years or so, been conceived of as the moral center of the family.* Lily Evans Potter is the moral center of the series. her choice to die is mirrored by the main character, Harry, and sparks the beginning of victory. Harry's sacrifice is enabled by another mother, Narcissa, making the correct moral choice because the power of her maternal love urges her to this choice. finally, Voldemort's most powerful follower, Bellatrix, is killed by a housewife and mother, Molly, in a maternal rage at the idea of her daughter being murdered.

Lily's sacrifice and the emotions behind it are mirrored multiple times in the final battle because it and she are the moral center of the series.

that Harry is frequently told he has his mother's eyes, and that Dumbledore points out how his essential nature mirrors his mother's, further highlights Lily's character and her choices as implicitly good.

women, especially mothers, as our moral authorities, is an unconscious cultural belief we can see play out in the fandom and subfandoms that Lily is discussed in. we can all recall the characterization of Lily as the goody-two shoes that James has to change for, the characterization of Lily as "not like other girls", the BAMF characterization, the current near mommy dom to James characterization.

the characterization of Lily changes with our view of the best kind of woman. but she is, always, demonstrating a most "correct" way to be. maybe it's 2007 and she's telling James off—not fun, but right. or it's 2012 and she's not preoccupied with boys like her classmates. or it's 2019 and she always knows the right thing to say to Remus when he's down on himself. or it's 2025 and James is trailing after her like a puppy while she contemplates what size strap to use on him after she beats up a bigot.

We don't see a lot of moderate views on Lily. Above, I've discussed how Lily lovers tend to portray her. Lily haters, a smaller group from what I can tell, do not utilize these common fanon characterizations. They disparage her as an immoral, selfish, bad woman. The wholesale rejection of Lily as the moral center based on her perceived immorality is the other side of the coin.

I'll refer to people with this perspective as "Lily haters" though I am aware there are people who dislike her outside of the topics I'm discussing.

I rarely engage with Lily haters, though I am aware of their arguments that Lily was a bad friend to Severus, a social climber, a gold digger, or boring. All grave sins for the woman who's supposed to save everyone.

This perspective doesn't reject Lily as the moral center or the perfect woman, it is an argument that she's not fulfilling her role correctly. Her unwillingness to give Severus more chances is selfish, stuck-up, classist. Her desire for James is an further betrayal of Severus.

She's supposed to be the Madonna, why is she being a whore?

I believe Lily hate comes from a belief she failed at being the perfect woman/mother, and therefore she is worthless. A bitch. Weak willed. Oversexed. even by haters her role as the moral center is not questioned.

in both the og text and in the fandom supertext Lily is the moral center because of her role as mother. her status as the moral center is inextricably tied to her motherhood. since Lily being a mother is the point of her character, divorcing her from her motherhood often changes the foundation of her character.**

when her literal motherhood is removed from a depiction of her character, her metaphorical status as the perfect woman/mother is often still intact. this is seen in the characterizations I described earlier, and, I argue, in the belief that she's too good for James when it is used as a "justification" for shipping James with someone else.*** thereby, she is further purified, not even having been touched by a man. she's put on a pedestal, where she can't be touched, and is rarely noticed.

it is also frequently seen when she is written as a side character in a relationship with James, and the pair become the dual moral guides for the main couple.

this reflects James and Lily as the ideal masculine and feminine, as they are a perfectly harmonious couple when a side pairing. their implicit canonical roles are subconsciously reflected in fanon with little critique or commentary on the canon text.

Lily's entire character is crafted to be The Perfect Mother™️. whether she is literally a mother in her fanon depiction or not, she is still The Perfect Woman™️—and is still affected by the biases our culture has towards women and mothers.

thus, Lily is the dream girl in the text, the moral center only seen through a nostalgic veil, and a dream girl in fan spaces, as the moral guide for the men in her life who pegs her husband or is too pure for the touch of a man.

for more on gender in the wizarding world, based on gender in early modern england (pre the cult of domesticity) see this post

*see the cult of domesticity if you'd rather not read the article

**please like fucking do not fucking act like I'm saying you cannot do this. I swear to fucking god

***you don't need to justify your ships

sash's *bangs gavel* divorce!! recs

lil collection of some faves + tbr's for anyone keen for fics of the sickeningly fond wolfstar exes variety <3

hurling crowbirds at mockingbars @wrapped-up

jesus where 2 begin. the 'then' vs 'now' of it all GAH.. it's sweet and funny and angsty and beautifully written. the characterisations n lil details n the Jealousy.. laurv when rj lupin is w someone else cos we're all like 'hm. sure.' n sirius is all 'sure well. for now.' massive ty 2 @whorerific for reccing this one!!

dreaming of after @del-stars

perusing the r/s + divorce search tab as one does, this one caught me off guard i was NOT PREPARED 2 luv it as much as i did.. sirius my LUV. the angst the miscommunication the lovely ending. well i sure did enjoy this one. the most divorced un-divorced couple 2 ever never divorce undivorceably

rolling in the deep @kaaaaaaarf

present 4 me!!! karfster, whilsttt ur hatefuck r/s saga has my heart, this is delish!! SAUR hot angry n unhinged n i'm v glad u shared this w us. ur writing is..mhm it's just so. like so very. x

orange juice (i've been ready for you to come home for so long) -raggedypond

lads. lads this fic bangs. miscommuncation? No communication!! giggled kicked my feet they should never communicate ever actually. they should exclusively use smoke signals at night or whtevr they should always b this frustrating n wonderful.. luv this lil thing v v much

fault lines @greyeyedmonster-18

think abt this one all. the. time. they're so sickeningly fond of each other.. the depth of their relationship is just. well i don't cry when reading but i rlly wanted 2 w this one. r/s separate n raise harry n well. this is a 4evr fave.. heartbreaking n soso heartwarming n beautiful

bound (series) -shiftylinguini

will always n 4evr rec this series. exes 2 luvrs bby the girls they r fighting!!! angry sirius eeeek.. smiling just thinkin abt when i read this for the first time.. sirius comes back from the veil n his ex-husband has married his cousin n absolutely no one is having a nice time. well. well that's not- [major moon emoji]

here we are again -dykesiriusblack

this was the first r/s muggle au i read so don't remember it teww well but. sexually charged wine tasting ('i tell u wht folks that is really nice. that is- that is bloody loveleh') .. the memories, the banter, the lovely awkwardness of 'hi it's me. n u. well here we fucking are again' ....whimpering

a grave mistake @soloorganaas

PA-LEEK !! another sirius is back from the dead au n rj lupin (chronic loserboygenius extraordinaire) has married his ex-husband's cousin (swotting his nose w a newspaper).. oh they're so messy n flawed n wonderful. (also. well. this fic is rlly hot. mhm.) HEARTBREAKING n LOVELY fic

of memories and milk thievery @mayescapade

if u haven't read this i assume u live under a v hard, soundproof rock. deserves every single bit of love .. it Bangs. silly ex-husbands steal each other's groceries n veg n it's all soso fun n beautiful.. luv it so bad, they should divorce again i think

what's in the tbr....

penciled in -nordicsun

think i'll be leaving sum big fat comments on this. it's this feeling i have.

through the gaps of sunlight @pancakehouse & art by @belleandsaintsebastian

victorian exes2luvrs r/s. r u JOKING. wht the heck this looks gorgeous

right back where we started from @soloorganaas

magic + divorce ..HIHELLOHOWRUUU. cannot believe i haven't begun this yet

you can have this heart to break @anouri

yas, u can deffo have my heart 2 break, this looks delish

labyrinth @mayescapade

'he wasn't you.' .....biting my lip.

read the tags, leave the authors love, etc.. kay bye <3

:)

okay

you guys, thank you so much!!! i have been so confused abt this lately and yk google can be a bit irritating and confusing at times, so THANK YOU!! have a nice day :))

Link to full 9 page post

*plays in the background

(murder husbands inspired the desire to write the proposal out. sirius to remus. ((remus to sirius isn't quite this casual)))

Warm summer sunlight was barely poking through their bedroom curtains when Sirius woke up, trying to stay still as possible in bed, not wanting to wake his boyfriend. Even in the dead of night, he gravitated to Remus like a moth to a light, a barnacle clinging to the side of a boat for dear life even in calm waters. It had been that way since seventeen, though there wasn't much of an option then given the size of the dormitory beds, but wasn't any different now at 25 when they had a much bigger bed and a bedroom entirely to themselves. Sirius studied Remus in the morning light, counting freckles across the bridge of his nose and the pink left on his cheeks from time spent outside with their four-year-old and not enough sun lotion.

Sirius loved to count the freckles, especially when Remus was asleep and wasn't aware he was doing so. Though he loved to count the freckles during the day too because Remus's mouth would turn up at the corners and his face would flush from the intensity of the attention, but he never told Sirius to stop. Sirius loved the shape of Remus's mouth, the way it was slightly open when he slept; the sandy hair, and the way it captured the sunlight, turning more golden. Less grey.

Sirius wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life waking up next to someone who never complained about Sirius's full body weight on top of him, counting freckles, and making wishes on eyelashes that had fallen out onto cheeks.

"Marry me, Remus Lupin..." Sirius whispered, pressing a soft kiss just on Remus's cheek, as he always did before he got up in the morning. He could hear Harry in his room already, talking away to his toys and stuffed animals as he waited for Sirius to open the door.

"Okay," Remus mumbled in return, and Sirius halted, propped up on the palms of his hands, hovering above Remus.

"You're asleep."

"Sort of."

"You're supposed to be asleep."

"Kind of am," Remus stirred, bringing a hand out from underneath the covers to find the back of Sirius's head, his eyes still half-closed. It was clumsy, long fingers hitting Sirius's face, nearly poking an eye out before he was able to rest his hand where he wanted it to go. So Remus's long fingers could tangle in the curls that had escaped from the hairband overnight. Sirius would find it with the pillows when he made the bed later.

"You weren't supposed to hear that."

"Mmmm but I did. Sorry, too late. Answer still stands."

"...You'll marry me?"

"Yes."

"I have a ring," Sirius told him. Sirius also had plans. He also was working up to book a day at Remus's favorite fancy restaurant--the one they went to and just ate cheese and drank wine until closing. Sirius was going to show him the ring before their first glass. Sirius was going to say something romantic that would make Remus blush, and give the proposal speech of a lifetime.

But like most things he had planned out for him and Remus...they just never worked out the way Sirius built them up to in his brain.

"A ring?"

"Yes. It's in the dresser. Has been for months."

"Can I see it in an hour?"