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People should look up at the stars more often

Sorry, I’m back.

I’ve been offline for awhile due to school and my emotional state but I’m back now and a lot has happened sense last time i was online so I’ve got a lot on my mind to share. 

To start school is back in as you know and I think I’m already failing.  It’s only been three weeks but I’ve been gone for almost 1/3 of it; not even bringing up my missing homework.  I also am known to procrastinate a lot so my homework for tomorrow isn’t even done yet.  I am trying harder than last year so hopefully I can bring up my grades before the end of this nine weeks.

secondly as you guys know I have a boyfriend.  I told you guys earlier on I said no when he asked me to date him but I later changed my mind. I’ve been crushing on this guy for awhile now and now that I’m dating him I’m realizing how differently him and I do relationships.  I really like him though, any advice?

Third.  I’ve been a lot more down lately and I’m struggling to be happy. I feel like it is this brick that I carry around with me all the time.  I feel so alone in real life because I’m never anybody's first option.  I’m always the person people pick last, nothing has changed there sense kindergarten.  I wanna fit in and have friends but I don't know how. 

That’s just some of the stuff that’s really bugging me right now, maybe I’ll share more later.  I’m sorry for being gone so long, it was so strange not posting for such a long time.  I really didn’t like it.  Hopefully I’ll be back to my normal routine soon.  ~Anon

Untitled

(I didn't tell him. I should have or I should at least set the alarm, but I can't. I'm uncapable. I'm unstable. I'm thinking diffrently. I want to do something but I can't. I'm not ready for tomorrow. Everything drops from here. There's no coming back from here. I can't chose one of them and I can't let go of both without letting go of everything and I can't do that. I'm uncapable. I'm sorry. )

Be in love with your life. EVERY MINUTE OF IT!

THIS IS IMPORTANT

Mon, Nov 28th - 04:54

Hello, I'm back again. Alot has been happening lately and I've been terrible at keeping my blog up to date to the point it's so out of place and hard to read. Sorry about that. First things first. I hope everyone had a good thanksgiving, and if your not from the us then I hope your Thursday was good. It's now the time of the year we all freak out because it's Christmas time. I won't lie, I'm happy too. Christmas can be very fun if you spend it with the right people. Secoundly, I got to see my grandma again. I went to her house Thursday on thanksgiving and spent it there. If you don't know about my grandma she's been having some problems lately with her heart and memory. When I went to see her I was scared she wouldn't remember me. Luckly she did, but it was hard to talk to her. She kept forgetting everything and repeating herself. I know it's because she's getting older, I mean the woman is 88 years old, but it's just not what I'm used to. I still live her and everything though, she's still grandma. Next, I got to see my friend D.R. again for the first time in literally 3 months. I missed him and he got to spend the night for two nights. I was so happy to have him over. Also, I broke up with my boyfriend. I don't do good in relationships and I don't like them. I just never really have. Honestly, love isn't for me. I don't know why. And lastly, I've been down again lately. It's busy here at home. My sister lives with us now, and my parents are having some issues. I have been stuggling slightly more than usual because of these things and also because of my mind has just been messy. I've been thinking some completely not positive things and I need to clean up my mind alot. Thank you if you've actually read this far. I'll try to be positive in my next post. I hate being so grim, it doesn't help. I feel the need to get this all out somehow though and this blog is always here so I've opened up alot about my problems on here and I know tumblr isn't a place to post sad stuff because I'll probably trigger someone else. I really don't mean too, I just need to vent somehow. Anyways, I gotta blast. ~Anon

You are not alone!!! ♡

First Skype Call

Yesterday my best friend C.C and I dicided to skype today at 3 pm for the very first time. I waited so long to see her beautiful face pop up. I love her voice, amazing. It was so emotional seeing her for the first time that we could really talk to one another and knowing she is real. I loved talking to her so much and hopefully she liked talking to me too. I really love having her as a friend and I do hope I get to keep her around for along time. C.C. is amazing and I may have only known her for a month and two weeks but she is easily my best friend. I feel like she won’t judge me like others, and for that I am very thankful. ~Anon

Take care of yourself ~

Dull

Her eyes focused on the smallest particle of dust, as it slowly danced around through the air. She breathes ever so slowly in, then out again. Her eyes fell shut. She took in the quiet.  The small ticks of her clock across the room, the sound of the AC running quietly from the other side of the house. It was as if the entire world was asleep. She Drew in a deep breath, breathing it out through her mouth slowly, drawing it out as long as possible. Slowly she reopened her eyes. She panned her eyes around the dull cold room, slowly taking in every detail. The lighting slightly changed as the sun passed behind the clouds outside her window. Her thighs and wrists still ached from earlier that day. She noticed the small pain on her elbow as well from the night before, where the skin had been scraped and irritated now. Her dull room walls sat around her like a prison cell seeming too slowly get closer as she lay in her bed. Even the large comforter couldn’t keep her warm as the Autumn air hit her neck and face. She felt the warm wetness fall from her eyes slowly, she once more breathed in ever so slowly as her mind continue to scream, she shut her eyes hoping it would all be over as fast as it started. ~Anon