Sat, Dec 24th - 17:44
Sat, Dec 24th - 17:44
Here I am again, hope everyone is having a good Christmas eve. If you are doing good I recommend to just unfollow me here because these blog post are going to probably get sadder from here on out.
My family has been doing horrible, I’ve brought it up before. Although now its worse. My mom and dad are getting a divorce. My mother said she is unhappy and my father is done with her complaining so this is it. My mom says shes leaving him right after Christmas. I’ve already told my dad I’m going with him so I’ll have to switch back to my old school most likely unless my dad moves into town which I doubt will happen. My family has been extremely sad lately and even I have gotten pulled into it. I have spent most my time in bed lately yelling at myself and planning things.
I’ve been wanting to cut again and I’m skipping meals. I don’t know why, I try not to but i keep almost crying every time I go to get food so I just end up back in my bed.
Last night was good. I was sad because my mom was talking about my dad again so i went to my room and took 5 sleeping pills although i still couldn't sleep, my mind was to much of a mess and I was like that until A.M came in and we spent the night on his top bunk and watched marble hornets until about 1 am when my mom came to yell at us. I actually had fun though. It was nice.
I was watching Dan and Phil today so I decided to go watch it in my moms room and that's when she told me about the divorce. she said she won’t be here tomorrow because shes tired of my dad. Shes leaving early and shes going to get a hotel. She asked me to come with her but I said no, hopefully I can stay with my brother considering hes the only sibling I have that has their life somewhat together.
My mom said its to the point shes done with her kids, we are to much for her to handle. That hurts a lot, I try to be good. I’ve changed so much to make her love me. Yet I’m still not good enough for her. If you aren’t good enough for your own mom who are you good enough for?
No one in my family understands love or they mess it up. Not ONE person in my family can have a relationship without messing it up. No one here is made for it so I’m just going to save myself the drama and heart break. It's not even worth it when you know its going to fail.
That feeling you get when you break up with someone that you get in your chest. The one that feels like its a black hole and it seems to be creating a giant empty mass in your chest has been eating at me for the past week and its getting worse. I’m tired of leaving bed, I’m tired of eating, I tired of interacting with others, and I’m tired of being let down. More that tired, I’m scared of all of these and honestly I’m okay with that now,
I’m so, so, sorry.
~Anon
More Posts from Scarlet-anon and Others
I WILL BE CENSORED AFTER DEC 14TH
Good, I’ve got your attention. I’ve heard about this net neutrality bullshit returning. I fought it when it started popping up a few years ago, and I’m going to fight it again. Guys, it’s BACK AGAIN and even worse theres a big chance it will END UP PASSING!
https://www.battleforthenet.com/#bftn-action-form
This could literally mean a shit ton of you wont be able to see me anymore if your provider decides that they want to regulate/censor, sayyy overly sexual content. You’ll also have to pay extra money to even use Tumblr!
https://www.battleforthenet.com/#bftn-action-form
Please guys, we defeated this shit once, we can do it again. They’re trying to do it now while people are distracted by the holidays and fucking Justice League. As of today, it seems as though there have only been 266,810 calls made to Congress. This is NOT good enough!! MILLIONS of people use the net, and if each one of them took 60 seconds to call and protect it, holy balls do you KNOW how much of a difference that would make??? But noooo, you’re busy streaming an ecchi anime that wont be available to you soon!!!!!
Heres a direct link to make a difference (theres also links to other sites of the same nature on here), and yes, YOU can make a fucking difference because this is YOUR internet at stake here. If you’re not going to make the call, share this and maybe SOMEONE fucking will!! This is important as shit and we cant afford to lose. Dec 14th is the deadline.
https://www.battleforthenet.com/#bftn-action-form
You are not alone!!! ♡
Share love!
Want
I want to stop cussing. I want to stop talking to much. I want to stop sharing about me. I want to seem invisible. I want to be forgotten. I want to stop asking. I want to stop being diffrent. I want to stop caring. I want to stop thinking about things. I want to stop being overly attached. I want to let go of the past. I want to be able to forget people. I want to stop holding on to things. I want to stop doing stupid things. I want to not have a relationship. I want to be nicer. I want to stop yelling. I want to stop being a brat. I want people to want me. I want to be perfect. I want to be smart. I want to stop begging for things I can't have. ~Anon
you deserve love
Untitled
(I didn't tell him. I should have or I should at least set the alarm, but I can't. I'm uncapable. I'm unstable. I'm thinking diffrently. I want to do something but I can't. I'm not ready for tomorrow. Everything drops from here. There's no coming back from here. I can't chose one of them and I can't let go of both without letting go of everything and I can't do that. I'm uncapable. I'm sorry. )
Things to remember: - There are so many reasons to live and things to look forward to. - If your mind is foggy and distracted, write everything down somewhere. Empty your thoughts and listen to some music. - Even if no one sees your art, writing or creations, don’t stop creating them. - Most of the things you’re scared about will never happen. - Try not to look at anyone else, just do your best. - Be kind to yourself. Make yourself a mug cake or your favorite tea, or do something you’ve been meaning to do for a while. - Don’t give up on your goals - remember why you started. - It’s okay, you still have lots of time. - Whatever you’re going through, it’s only temporary. - You’ve been through worse things. You can get through this. - Tomorrow will be a new beginning. - You will be okay, even if it may not seem like it right now.
reminders for bad days // (via flowerais)
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scarlet-anon reblogged this · 8 years ago
