The Only Reason Why I Like The Canon Marauders More Because I'm So Sick Of Seeing The Same, Overused

The only reason why I like the canon marauders more because I'm so sick of seeing the same, overused tropes in every single relationships being included and sugarcoating the crimes of some morally questionable characters. We often ignore the real faults and flaws of the characters because we refuse to like any character who has very complex morals and often engages with acts that are not socially acceptable but somehow, they are still a good person inside at the end of the day. As if it's impossible to not lean toward a single path. I think we just want to see perfection in every character, we refuse to acknowledge their flaws and try to misinterpret it in order to fit our own narratives because in real life everyone seeks some sort of validation from others in order to be a good person. Then, we become disappointed because they are actually not as perfect as we thought they were in our made up imaginations about them. Nobody can ever be perfect. And you don't need to change a character's whole personality and morals in order to be queer. Queer peoples are normal humans too, and we all have flaws inside of us which we hide because they are depicted as shameful.

ppl be posting shit like "I miss canon Marauders"

Babes, there is no "canon" Marauders. Most of the shit ya'll think is canon, are just old headcanons that used to be widespread before other (usually queerer) headcanons gained popularity.

There is so little information about the "canon" Marauders - and even the info we have cannot be trusted because it's usually memories, influenced by a character's bias - that trying to make a somewhat comprehensive character out of the given material is impossible, let alone 4 characters.

Everything is fanon. Everything is headcanon. And that's the beauty of this fandom.

(Ofc my favourite part is when something actually is canon via the books or movies, and people reject it as fanon.)

🙏 From the Heart: A Quiet Apology

There’s something I need to say—something that’s been on my heart for some time.

When I first began sharing our story, I didn’t know what the right way was. I was scared, grieving, and trying to protect my family in any way I could. I reached out to many people, hoping someone, anyone, would see us. In that process, I now realize I may have overstepped, and I might have made some feel overwhelmed.

If that happened, I am truly sorry.

Please believe me when I say it was never out of disregard or pushiness. It came from a place of fear—fear of being forgotten, fear of not being able to keep my family safe, fear of watching everything I love slip away in silence.

I’m learning as I go. I’ve slowed down. I’m more mindful now, trying to share our journey in a way that feels respectful of the space and hearts of those listening.

If my words ever came at the wrong time, or in the wrong way, I hope you can understand where they came from—and I hope you can forgive me.

Thank you for seeing past my mistakes. Thank you for still being here. It means more than I can ever explain.

With love and endless gratitude, Mosab and family ♥️

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scaramionee

11 months ago

Man, all these people who claim that Levi made the "wrong" choice when he chose Armin, claiming that the outcome of the story would have changed or been different if he'd just chosen Erwin, essentially blaming Levi for the Rumbling, conveniently never have an answer when you actually ask them what Erwin could have done differently to change the outcome. That's because there isn't anything Erwin could have done to change the outcome, short of somehow, magically, discovering what Eren was really planning when no one else could. How Erwin would have been able to do this, who can say, since Eren didn't tell anyone about his plans other than Floch and Historia. I guess Erwin really was just that much smarter than everyone else, including Armin, even though, you know, Armin discovered that Annie was the Female Titan through simple observation and the same with realizing Reiner was hiding in the walls in Shinganshina. Isayama didn't set up Armin's exceptional observational skills for any reason. Nope. Just an arbitrary detail he put in, since Isayama's so known for including superfluous information in his story (insert heavy sarcasm here).

If Armin wasn't able to discover Eren's true intentions, despite being infinitely closer to him than Erwin and spending far more intimate time with him than Erwin would have been able to, why do people think Erwin would have gleaned Eren's true intentions when Armin or the others couldn't? Even Levi, who'd had Eren pegged from the start and understood what he was better than anyone, who's widely acknowledged at being better at reading who people really are than anyone, wasn't able to see what Eren really had planned. Eren himself didn't even know exactly what he had planned until he saw the future, and even then, he remained in deep denial about it, pretending to himself that he wasn't going to go through with it.

But we're supposed to believe, according to these people, that Erwin would have been able to see what Eren had planned when Armin, Levi and even Eren himself didn't know and was in denail over up until the point they were in Marley. These same people also want to claim that Floch never would have been radicalized if Erwin had lived, but that's bullshit. Floch was already radicalized, from having to charge to his death against the Beast Titan. He came out of that situation wanting to make Erwin suffer for leading them on a death charge, under the belief that Erwin was the "devil" they needed in order to win against their enemy. Floch's radicalization had nothing to do with Levi's choice in who to give the serum to. It had to do with how over a hundred soldiers had to give up their lives in order to keep the hope for humanity's future alive, and how Erwin led them and convinced them to do so.

But let's suppose Levi had chosen Erwin, then. Would it have changed Floch's decision to collaborate with Eren?

The answer to that is no.

Either Erwin would have supported Eren's plans or come up with some other, similarly aggressive plan to deal with the outside world, or he wouldn't. If Erwin had refused to deal with the outside world with a mercenary attitude the way Floch wanted (i.e. in a way lacking humanity, wiping out everyone, essentially), Floch would have turned to Eren, and the same outcome would have resulted. Floch never accepted the limited Rumbling plan. That wasn't enough for him. He wanted the whole world wiped out. We see this in the way he intentionally targets innocent civilians during the raid on Liberio. He wanted Erwin to be chosen because he believed that Erwin was devoid of humanity, because of how he'd led 100 new recruits to their guaranteed deaths. Because of that, he believed Erwin would do whatever it took to win, no matter the cost.

If Erwin had shown him something less than that monstrosity, it wouldn't have satisfied Floch. So Erwin choosing to go with Zeke's proposed plan wouldn't have satisfied Floch, either. It wouldn't have been extreme enough for him. The only thing that would have been, would be Erwin choosing to eliminate all of humanity beyond the walls, i.e. going with Eren's actions. If he'd refused anything less than that, again, Floch would have turned to Eren. Either way, they end up down a path of death and destruction.

If people think Erwin would have succeeded in negotiating with Marley where Hange and the scouts failed, again, wrong, because he never would have even been given the chance, just like Hnage and the others were never given the chance, because, again, Eren went rogue and disappeared. Again, unless Erwin was somehow able to magically discover Eren's true intentions before they left for Marley, when up until that point, Eren himself was still in denial over it, then the outcome would have been the same, whether Erwin was with them or not.

People that claim Levi made the wrong choice and "doomed humanity" as a result, also routinely fail to acknowledge just how done Erwin really was. There's a reason Levi talks about not wanting to see Erwin become a "devil". I've talked about this at length already, so I won't repeat myself here. If you want to read more in depth about my thoughts on how Erwin's dream had begun to corrupt him and threaten his humanity, you can do so here: https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/737098651561787392/sorry-to-keep-reblogging-this-it-just-keeps?source=share But to go into it briefly, these same people who want to deny the significant role Armin played in Levi's choice, and how that speaks heavily to how Levi was very much considering what was best for humanity at that point, also want to deny that Erwin was in danger of losing his humanity if he'd been forced to go on living and leading the SC. The denial of this blinds them to the fact that, in Levi's view, what humanity needed was hope. It didn't need a leader who was broken by his own guilt and cynicism and self-loathing.

Just before Levi is about to inject Erwin with the serum, Erwin begins mumbling in a delirious state, talking to his father and asking about the outside world. He's still in the grip of his dream. Still, in his dying moments, possessed by it. He has nothing beyond that. That's what that moment shows us. He's just given up his dream by charging the Beast Titan to his own death, knowing death was the only thing that COULD release him from that dream. While he still drew breath, that dream consumed him. The idea that these people posit is that Erwin would have recovered from the loss of his dream by finding a "new dream" to be drunk on moving forward, and that would have allowed him to continue on as an effective leader. But what this take fails to acknowledge is how Erwin's guilt most assuredly would have been exacerbated by the discovery of the truth, not alleviated by it. He would have been met with the crushing disappointment of what that truth was. Yes, his theory that humanity existed beyond the walls would have been proven true, and thus his father's correctness. But beyond that initial vindication for Erwin, he would have been met with the bleak reality of their situation. That all those lives he'd sacrificed for his dream, for the discovery of the truth, would have amounted to nothing more than the hopeless realization that the rest of the world wanted them all dead. Instead of finding freedom or an answer to their hopes, they'd instead found themselves pushed further into a corner without hope of escape.

That wouldn't have lessened Erwin's guilt, it would have worsened it. There's no way Erwin would have felt that disappointing reality was worth all those lives he'd sacrificed. And that's where Levi's fear came in of what Erwin might become. Why he tells Floch Erwin would have to become a devil if he'd continued on as their leader. He was in danger of losing his humanity to his guilt and self-hatred. He might very well have been driven mad by that guilt without the distraction of his dream to shield him from those negative thoughts and emotions. There's a reason the panels show Levi recalling in this moment asking Erwin what he would do once he discovered what was in Eren's basement, and Erwin answering he didn't know. There's a reason Levi recalls Kenny saying to him that we need something to be "drunk on" in order to continue living. People that claim Erwin would have been fine love to ignore all of this. They love to ignore just how ruinous Erwin's pursuit of his dream had been on his psyche. And I'm not talking about whether the self-loathing he felt was earned or deserved. That question is irrelevant. It's irrelevant because whether deserved or not, it's what Erwin felt. He hated himself, and felt overwhelmed by the guilt of what he'd done, and the discovery of the truth and the realization of his dream wouldn't have assuaged those feelings. It would only have made them worse.

And that was never what humanity needed. It didn't need someone who'd been turned bitter and hopeless and filled with despair, the way Erwin was, that bitterness and despair likely only to become worse with the realization of his dream and its ugly, disappointing reality. His guilt would have only increased with the realization that the world all those soldiers under his command died for, that he convinced to die for, was an impossibility. It would have made him feel all the more as if he'd lied to them all, and sent them to their deaths for nothing. Again, to think Erwin would have been able to easily recovery from this, or move on and continue to lead in the wake of this, is absurd and fails to acknowledge the depth of Erwin's inner turmoil and suffering. To continue on in that role, after these revelations, after the confirmation that he'd convinced all those soldiers to give up their lives for a lie, would only have increased his self-hatred. The very fact he would have had to continue to lead is what would have threatened the loss of his humanity, ultimately, because there's no way he could have continued to operate in that role under that much crushing guilt. Retaining his humanity would have meant drowning in despair. Forfeiting his humanity would have meant turning into Floch or Eren or Zeke. In order to keep operating as the leader of the SC, Erwin would either eventually succumb to his guilt and be rendered useless, paralyzed by his self-doubt and fear, unable to bring himself to tell the lies, or what he believed were lies, required to inspire people to action, or he would truly have had to divorce himself from all sentiment and feeling, uncaring that he was lying and sending people to their deaths for nothing. And that, in the end, would have been a disaster, both for Erwin himself, and for humanity.

Levi says he doesn't regret not choosing Erwin, even as the Rumbling unfolds beneath him, and it's because he knows and fully believes that what humanity needed was someone that still believed in it, someone that still believed in it being worth saving, someone that still believed and had hope in something better, something beyond war and death. That was Armin. That's what Eren's own speech he gives to Levi, trying to convince him to choose Armin, is about. How Armin is this person who can see beyond fighting or thirst for revenge. How he's the person who will save humanity because he believes in that ideal future.

Levi says "I entrusted the future to that kid who had the same look in his eyes as all of you,". He literally says it. "I entrusted the future". He's very literally saying he trusted in Armin to carry humanity forward into the future it needed. That he specifically chose Armin for this purpose. That Armin's idealism was as much a consideration to him as Erwin's own suffering. These people love to talk about Levi saying "I chose this place for Erwin to die" while ignoring him saying later to Erwin "I didn't choose you", meaning he did choose Armin. It was as much a choice for him as it was for Erwin. Both of them weighed equally in Levi's decision. I don't understand how these people that claim Levi's choice was all about Erwin just completely ignore this line. It's so utterly disingenuous to do so and I think they know it. I think they know it's disingenuous to frame Levi's choice as if Armin wasn't just as important and significant in it as Erwin.

And I don't want to hear the argument that Levi was saying Armin's purity and the innocence of his dream was "the same" as Erwin's. Again, this is a disingenuous argument from these people, twisting Levi's words and their context to fit their agenda. Because they know deep down Levi wasn't comparing Armin's purity and the purity of his dream to Erwin, he was comparing it to the collective hopes and dreams of the soldiers of the Survey Corps, to all of his fallen comrades who offered up their lives in the belief it would help create a better, freer world. A "stupidly idealistic world", as Levi puts it. Armin's dream was akin to that. He wanted to see the ocean, he wanted to explore a world he believed was filled with wonders and beauty. He believed, even after the discovery of humanity beyond the walls and the reality of their hostility toward them, that there was beauty and wonder to be found and experienced. He never lost faith in that conviction. Armin's dream was one rooted in hope and belief and joy. That's what made it pure, and that's also why he was able to give it up so readily, because in its innocence, it didn't consume or define him.

Erwin's dream wasn't pure and anyone who claims otherwise is either full of it, or they seriously don't understand Erwin at all. Erwin's dream was never pure, because it was a dream rooted, not in hope and belief or joy, but one rooted in guilt and shame and a longing for atonement. He wanted to discover the truth not because he thought it would lead to a better world or to experiencing something beautiful, but because he was desperate to escape from the crushing guilt he felt over his father's death, and the belief that he was responsible for it. That's the literal opposite of purity. That's wretchedness and shame and self-loathing driving Erwin's dream, from the start. That's not an innocent dream able to be let go, that's a weighted shackle round his neck, threatening at all times to pull him under and drown him. And in the end, that's what had begun to happen to Erwin. That's what his dream had begun to do to him.

Armin encapsulated the dream of the Survey Corps, through his innocence, though the purity of his dream, through his belief that there was still a world out there worth discovering, worth exploring, worth experiencing, despite the bleak reality of their situation. Nobody believed in humanity's worth or its future more than Armin, and that's why he was the right choice. Because humanity needed someone who believed in it and its future. Ignoring Armin's role in Levi's choice is to fundamentally misunderstand why Levi made the choice he did in the first place. It wasn't only for Erwin's sake. It was for humanity's sake, too. And that really is supported, also, by the fact that Levi chose the humane option of not dragging Erwin back into the role that had left him with only more pain and guilt. He chose compassion, both in allowing Erwin to rest, and in choosing a boy who still held hope for humanity.

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scaramionee

2 months ago

i get so happy when people that are new to fanfic writing, or just writing in general, post their work on ao3. despite their doubts, despite their fear of something so personal and vulnerable being perceived, they still press that button, and i turn into the equivalent to a proud mom cheering on the sidelines. like yes! you did that! your work is worth seeing! you deserve to share your passion for and be part of a community! i’m so proud of you!

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scaramionee

5 months ago

when season 3 is just 8 hours of gihun and inho having possessive feral hate sex all over that fuckass island starting on the front man's leather chair