“Do not confuse my bad days as a sign of weakness. Those are actually the days I’m fighting the hardest.”
— Unknown
I take a photo with the old camera out of my mum’s drawer
A quick shot of life
One short silent depiction of how I view the world
I like the old films
Colours not too bright
I’m not good at photography either
Smudged pictures on 15mm
Too orange, too yellow, too bright
I like looking at people, like capturing how life is for them
I don’t like being near them
I like myself on black and white film
“One day she remembered that it wasn’t her job to make everyone happy.”
— Robin Lee
Hush
Too far, too wide, too fast
Not yet
Don’t go
Don’t, won’t
Don’t, can’t
Not now
Beware
Hush now
Haven’t done, won’t do
Couldn’t do, won’t do
What can I do?
Can’t do
And can’t and can’t and can’t
I’m scared
Don’t ask
— Mary Oliver, from Blue Horses, "Little Crazy Love Song"
Sylvia Plath, from a journal entry featured in "The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath,"
I’m struggling,
Stumbling like a failing tightrope walker
I turn and want to blame someone
For sabotaging the rope,
For distracting me
But there’s no one but me
I abandoned safety net and balancing pole
Instead there’s darkness waiting should I fall
There’s no way of knowing what’s down there
Should I tumble, would I crack?
Should I fall, would I break?
Should I jump, would I
Die
Bianca Stone, from What Is Otherwise Infinite: Poems; “God Searches for God”
●a way to let go of my thoughts because I fear they might crush me● ||they/them||
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