Savingwords - Otherwise It Drives Me To Madness

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savingwords

1 year ago

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savingwords

1 year ago

Potential

Hush

Too far, too wide, too fast

Not yet

Don’t go

Don’t, won’t

Don’t, can’t

Not now

Beware

Hush now

Haven’t done, won’t do

Couldn’t do, won’t do

What can I do?

Can’t do

And can’t and can’t and can’t

I’m scared

Don’t ask

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writers on tumblr mental health poetry poem poems on tumblr original poem aesthetic literature original poets on tumblr thoughts aestethic spilled words aspiring writer depressing thoughts my poetry spilled ink spilled thoughts spilled poetry spilled poem dark thoughts self doubt aspiring poet midnight musings quotes and poems

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savingwords

1 year ago

I sit here and put words on a paper that I otherwise do not dare to say. I don’t know who to talk to. When I mention what I think about I get told that it’s only because things are just not going my way right now. Funny. I suppose things haven’t been going my way last year either. Or the year before that. Or the year before. I don’t remember not feeling like this. These words, there the same. For years now. I’m writing them down because I’m unable to say them to anyone.

I’ve reached out for help before. Got weird looks from people when I told them that I need to talk to someone. Got told that they wouldn’t be able to help me because I just needed to get over this. Everyone feels like this once in a while.

I went there once. Got told I felt like this because I’m not taking control over my life. The situation was uncomfortable. I didn’t go a second time. They asked for feedback afterwards. What was I supposed to say? Thanks for not listening, I still don’t know how to not hate myself. How to not cry. How to make my chest stop hurting. How to stop feeling like I’m drowning.

Now the thought of talking to someone is even scarier. I don’t like to talk to people anyway. What if I take all my courage and ask for help again, only to be told it’s my own fault? I know it’s my fault. I tell myself that every day. I don’t need another person telling me the same.

Tags

writers on tumblr mental health prose my writing aspiring writer depressing thoughts dark thoughts just sharing my experience i really feel like i should try to talk to someone again because it's bad these days but I'm so scared to make the same experience again

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savingwords

11 months ago