Me: You Can Eat The Pizza For Dinner Tonight

the fact that im not feeding a vampire’s primal bloodlust right now is really unsexy of me

world's bestest most specialist war criminal

I’m going to say it. The (word in parentheses) meme is way better for tone indication than tone indicators

Full offense but sometimes fandom just totally make up the characterization of a character and then complain when that isn’t canon

The other day on shift, I was walking down the hallway when a confused old man started yelling. This is fairly common in the hospital, so I ducked into his room and was like "hey dude what's up" and he's like "so sorry to yell but do you know where I am and what year it is" so I reoriented him to a bunch of stuff and explained why so many people were walking past his door, and he seemed much calmer and more oriented by the time we were done talking. And he says "and what's your name?" So I tell him "Sarah" and he stares at me so I repeat "Sarah" and he stares at me so I spell "S-A-R-A-H" and he stares at me so I show him my name badge and he stares at me and then he says "now forgive me for being so blunt. But I was under the impression that Sarah is a girls name. Is that no longer correct?"

Anyway y'all ever be so fucking gnc that you inadvertently gaslight a confused old man into thinking there's yet another part of the world he no longer understands?

the cdc says please let me in your house. pretty please. i'm not a vampire i promise. i don't bite people either. i can't cross the threshold until you invite me in. you're being rude

You have no idea how often I've thought about this concept/art of angels and demons since seeing this post

i don’t know what’s cooler tbh: 

Demon horns being broken halos from when they were angels. 

Demons willingly grow their own halos, but never complete the circle to symbolize their rebellion against heaven’s strict order. 

My stomach is growling so loudly and yet I still don't want to eat anything...

I hate being sick

(frantically checks the name and pronouns of someone i speak to regularly despite knowing them)

gotta admit, I'm impressed with their dedication to the bit