“After learning my flight was detained 4 hours, I heard the announcement: if anyone in the vicinity of gate 4-A understands any Arabic, please come to the gate immediately. Well—one pauses these days. Gate 4-A was my own gate. I went there. An older woman in full traditional Palestinian dress, just like my grandma wore, was crumpled to the floor, wailing loudly. Help, said the flight service person. Talk to her. What is her problem? We told her the flight was going to be four hours late and she did this. I put my arm around her and spoke to her haltingly. Shu dow-a, shu-biduck habibti, stani stani schway, min fadlick, sho bit se-wee? The minute she heard any words she knew—however poorly used—she stopped crying. She thought our flight had been canceled entirely. She needed to be in El Paso for some major medical treatment the following day. I said no, no, we’re fine, you’ll get there, just late. Who is picking you up? Let’s call him and tell him. We called her son and I spoke with him in English. I told him I would stay with his mother until we got on the plane and would ride next to her—Southwest. She talked to him. Then we called her other sons just for the fun of it. Then we called my dad and he and she spoke for a while in Arabic and found out, of course, they had ten shared friends. Then I thought just for the heck of it why not call some Palestinian poets I know and let them chat with her. This all took up about 2 hours. She was laughing a lot by then. Telling about her life. Answering questions. She had pulled a sack of homemade mamool cookies—little powdered sugar crumbly mounds stuffed with dates and nuts—out of her bag—and was offering them to all the women at the gate. To my amazement, not a single woman declined one. It was like a sacrament. The traveler from Argentina, the traveler from California, the lovely woman from Laredo—we were all covered with the same powdered sugar. And smiling. There are no better cookies. And then the airline broke out the free beverages from huge coolers—non-alcoholic—and the two little girls from our flight, one African American, one Mexican American—ran around serving us all apple juice and lemonade, and they were covered with powdered sugar, too. And I noticed my new best friend—by now we were holding hands—had a potted plant poking out of her bag, some medicinal thing with green furry leaves. Such an old country traveling tradition. Always carry a plant. Always stay rooted to somewhere. And I looked around that gate of late and weary ones and thought, this is the world I want to live in. The shared world. Not a single person in this gate—once the crying of confusion stopped—has seemed apprehensive about any other person. They took the cookies. I wanted to hug all those other women, too. This can still happen anywhere. Not everything is lost.”
— Naomi Shihab Nye (b. 1952), “Wandering Around an Albuquerque Airport Terminal.”
I dont look beautiful. I know I don't and there is really no way you can convince me I do. I have a nose that's not what fits the standards. I have front teeth that are way too much on front. I have a long face. I don't have a pageant smile. I lose whenever I compare myself to her. I have flaws on the outside that you judge me for and it's okay, that's the kind of society we live in.
But it's weird that inspite of knowing this fact, I feel beautiful. I feel beautiful when I am writing. I feel beautiful when I am having a hot cup of coffee after studying continuously. I feel beautiful when I step on the terrace and my headache stops throbbing. I feel beautiful when I sign my name at the end of a poem or when I put my face or my hand in the rain. I feel it when I am so tired I sleep without any thoughts. When I have cried for way too long and my face shines and I don't have any tears to cry anymore. I feel it when my skinny jeans fits me perfectly and I can't stop staring myself in the mirror, with hair down and messy. I feel beautiful when I laugh at the inside jokes I have with myself. When I am alone, just thinking and the thoughts make sense and I am able to pen it down. I feel beautiful when someone likes it. I feel it when I am done with the day's work. I feel it when I think of future even though it's becoming rare lately. I can't see future as clearly as I did. But there are moments, I see myself and I have made it and I am alive. Wearing those skinny jeans and walking with my hands in my pocket on a now silent at 2 am New York Street. I feel beautiful when I think of it.
But this beauty is what no one appreciates anymore. Everyone wants everyone to be kind, beautiful from inside. But the problem is, neither does anyone respect that beauty nor does anyone know to value it.
So does this feeling of beautiful matter?
As often as not, I like to think it does. To me, it does.
-S
UNCLE SAM and UNCLE BUCKY | tfatws 1.01 & 1.06
Because Evan, you came in here the other day and said you thought it would have been better if you had been shot.
You act like you’re expendable, but you’re wrong.
A happy golden surrounded by golden leaves
(via)
Fun Fact: in one month (1/1/23), all Sherlock Holmes stories hit the public domain and the Conan Doyle Estate can't do shit! I say this for absolutely no reason but also congrats in advance to the happy couple.