This Is Stephan. He Just Wants To Help

And all the while I feel like I’m standing in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs, and no one even looks up

“You have a good heart, and you think the good thing is to be guilty and kind. But it’s not always kind to be gentle and soft. There’s a genuine violence softness and kindness visit on people. Sometimes self-interested is the most generous thing you can be.”

— Angels in America (via ladysaviours)

I want you all to see this to understand even a sliver of why I'm not using this evil, godforsaken website, not that it's limited to tumblr because it is now the incessant, constant reality everywhere. I'm an "all of the above" statistic on this. you cannot possibly comprehend the despair and the depths of what this is like unless you are entrenched in it and seeing people futilely trying to combat it every day. too many people unaffected can't even recognize what they are seeing, or don't care, or are participating in it. my dash is COVERED in it daily, from mutuals. I got tired of blocking people and prayed maybe some of what I said would get through instead, but it didn't. people literally participating in this were liking my posts? it's almost laughable if it weren't so deeply wounding and concerning. this has been the daily reality for Jewish people trying to exist online (or anywhere) since that horrible day. there is no respite from it. we are battered and broken and angry and devastated. there is no space for our grief except from each other. there is no recognition of our collective humanity. I said this already over there, but I'll say it again - this killed something in my soul. every single person who has perpetuated this or was utterly silent about it (and continues to be. do you think we don't hear the silence too?) has destroyed something irreparably. idealism, trust, hope, safety. it is inescapable, it is violent, it is relentless. everyone else will eventually move on and we'll be trapped in the aftermath of knowing how prevalent this hatred is. that people we considered friends would stab us in the back and supposed allies would cheer harm done to us for the crime of being Jewish. because that's what this is about. none of this rhetoric is about anything but that anymore, not when conspiracy theories are being woven, lies are being perpetuated, victims and atrocities are being denied, and any Jew, no matter their beliefs or political spectrum, is being attacked for existing. we are not the same. we will never be the same. I will never forget or forgive the response from this, from "friends," from strangers, or from the whole world.

hi followers <3 curious after the reblogged discussions yesterday:

if you'd like to reblog this to elaborate what happened or in which fandom(s), you are more than welcome to.

Barbra Streisand in Yentl, 1983

Bedroom of Barbra Streisand’s art deco guesthouse at her Malibu, California home | Architectural Digest, December 1, 1993 | photography by John Vaughan

this thread and this article detail recordings made available to the media that were taken during the oct. 7 massacre by hamas terrorists. there is a sickness there beyond words, but the sickness i have seen on social media is something different, an almost desperate urge to perceive these acts as noble, misunderstood, exaggerated. it's an utter unwillingness to accept that true evil exists, motivated by ideas that seem almost imaginary - too horrible to be true - to people who have been shielded from such inescapable violence and hatred for so long that no one remembers how to respond. it is so unthinkable that many cannot think it, will not think it. they will retreat to moral equivalence, they will fold it into their existing framework (the victims were not innocent, not really), they will change the subject so that they don't have to admit their moral compass is broken, that they outsourced it to their politics, to their radical friends who like shouting about injustice and revolution without understanding what any of it means. this is what it means.

someday i will stop checking my other blog for ghoulishness but unfortunately that was not today

how many of them would tell people to their faces that they think there is no sanctity of life and no such thing as innocents and that certain groups deserve to be erased from existence in the most violent ways possible? or do they reserve that for their cowardly hot takes on their blogs for dopamine hits from other ghouls? never regarding the expense to anyone else because they have lost their capacity to be humane.

they actually sit there and say people should be exterminated and then don’t think they’re fascists. fascinating. idk what’s worse, if my dash is uniquely evil, or if everyone is seeing this but just accepting it.

i would never say these things about people anywhere, including all the ones i disagree with. i wouldn’t say it about the insurrectionists who stormed the capitol on jan. 6th even though they’re virulently hateful and a danger to society, because wishing torture and slaughter on people is bad? but they will say it out loud about literal children???

edit: too many people on this horrible website and elsewhere across the worldwide web have proven themselves incapable of condemning this bigotry and heinous acts because they’re so steeped in their hatred and echo chambers of outrage that they have sacrificed all sense of reason and empathy, it is despicable and devastating to see it. they lust for blood and violent death because they are insulated from it and egotistically believe they will never experience it and have the right to dole it out without fear. but being heartbroken is a strength they will never comprehend.

Edward Robert Hughes

British, 1851-1914

Hand details

Marilyn Monroe