Every So Often I Think About How Screwed Up The Mental Health Care System Is Because It Took Me So Long

obsessed where stories where it is like. the mistakes are unfixable and the worst thing that could happen happened and nothing can go back to how it was. but there was still love in this and love will continue after this and love endures always.

aidyn ♪ on X: "It pains me that people genuinely just see these names as numbers. Each name belonged to a life, a life that Israel took. Do not stop talking about Palestine." / X

Gen Z

Born in the shadow

Of 9/11

Birth certificates

Make a spectacle

Of how gullible we are

.

The news channel

Like a lullaby

Our parents watch

Not wanting to wake us

We go to sleep knowing

That the monsters

Were never under our bed

.

And despite what we go through

Despite how many horrors

We are witness to

A gag is on our mouth

Told we are

Too young

Too stupid

Too naive

And we are

.

I am

Too young

To be scared of going to school

And watching the life pour out of my friends

Because skin isn’t impenetrable like titanium

Ricocheting bullets embed themselves in soft skin

And now I’ll never be able to say

“I’m sorry” for that dumb fight during lunch

Bulletproof backpacks

Were never in the school wish list

Look around the class

Who are you willing to die for?

Are you strong enough to comfort their mom?

She’ll be crying on your shoulder

As you tell stories

How everybody copied off their homework

Because they were the smartest

Or how they never failed to make the class burst in laughter

Explaining the inside jokes that died with them

In a pool of their own blood

Right by your desk

.

I am

Too young

To find my friend’s body

Slumped over

On the bathroom floor

Candy coloured pills stuffed down their throats

Dothiepin, Amitriptyline and Imipramine

Or maybe crimson blood pouring down their wrists

Because we never questioned

If they were hot with a sweater during summer

Too late to help battle whatever demons they were facing

Too late to be the knight in shining armour they needed

And a note lays in their hand

Apologizing for what they did

When you know the person that should’ve apologized

Was you

Because maybe

If you had listened more

If you had asked the right questions

If you had done this or that

It doesn’t matter

Cause when suicide

Is the 2nd leading cause

Of death in youth

What’s the point

Trying to be the superhero with the red cape

When you might be the one at the noose?

.

I am

Too young

To see familiar faces on the news

Afraid to see my friends body

Drape over a white sheet

As if that covers up the horrors

“Don’t shoot!”

Shouldn’t be

Someone’s last words

He looked older in the dark

He only fired in self-defense

Blue lives or black lives?

Which ones matter most?

You might call me obnoxious

Because i don’t submit to your ideals

But let me ask you this

When did people go to an academy

For their skin?

When were people given uniforms

For their skin?

When were people given guns

For their skin?

They just wanted to go home

To their families

That’s what we all want

But only one of us will go home

The other laying on the concrete

Covered in a white sheet

Like cheap Halloween decoration

The blood seeping through

Scratchy white fabric

.

I am

Too young

To be sent out of class

Because my skirt was too short

“The boys will be distracted”

They said

But I look around the room

They’re doing their work

They’re focused

So why are you not?

Why are you looking at my legs?

I’m walking down the street

A man old enough to be my dad

Is looking at me, staring

Like a lion watches his prey

Looking for a moment to strike

A cobra swaying from side to side

If I’m not careful

His poison will flow through my veins

I can feel his eyes on me

As if I somehow share his sins

They are crawling on my back

So maybe I should’ve put on that jacket

Maybe I should’ve worn pants instead

But it was a nice day

And I had just ironed my skirt

And maybe I should’ve asked someone

To come get the mail with me

Because now if something happens

It’s my fault

.

I am

Too young

To be crying at my friend’s funeral

Because no matter

How many times

I told them to stop

They wouldn’t

A loopy wonderland

And meaningless smiles

Were too much

Of a temptation

Against a brutal reality

Of a cold and desaturated planet

Shouts still ringing

In their ears

And last week

Their mom found their body

Overdosed in the bathtub

Eyes still wide

Staring

Pupils dilated

And now

My last memory of them will be

Silky smoke in my face

Burning claws in my lungs

While I’m still sitting on the couch

Drinking Diet Coke

Because I “don’t know how to live”

But apparently

Neither do they

.

I grew up in a world

Where violence is common

A bullet flies by

But I don’t notice

Desensitized and numb

.

And now that I have a voice

That you’ve never heard before

You will try to silence me

But can you really blame me

For my shouts?

I was born with information

At my fingertips

Connected

To every news source in the world

And you expect me

To stay at the kid’s table

During dinner?

Because the adults are talking?

.

But you have brought me onto this earth

Where the expectation

Was to watch the world burn

And you don’t care

Because you’ll die

Before you see the sun explode

But I will remain

We will remain

To see our flesh melt off

You brought us here

In the middle of a battle

And you have failed miserably

The battles you won

Will be meaningless

Against the war that we will win

.

We will rise from the ashes

Of what you have already burned down

“Maybe that’s why you demonised them, turned them into monsters, because you think monsters are easier to understand than women who say no to you.” ― Nikita Gill, Great Goddesses: Life Lessons from Myths and Monsters

Gen Z

“Kids these days spend too much time on their phones” 

I have perfected the art of talking people down from high places halfway across the country, at the early morning hours of two or three, when heartbeats falter 

“Kids these days are too sensitive, they don’t have real problems”

I cannot count on my fingers how many of my friends know the feeling of a cold blade on warm skin, bruises where they can’t be seen, the sound of a parent’s footsteps almost drowned out by the thumping in their chest 

“Kids these days don’t know anything about politics”

They call themselves “the forgotten” and yet, where is that when they can’t seem to remember our names 

“Kids these days are-” 

Afraid 

Afraid 

Afraid 

Drowning in twenty-seven APs 

And they told us you could smell fear 

Well I’m drenched in it 

Can’t you tell 

Can’t you see 

No? 

Just ignore me 

Kids these days are tired 

And fed up 

Furious 

Call-your-senator furious 

School-walkout furious 

I’d-fight-your-family-if-I-could furious 

Come-and-let’s-make-our-own furious 

Join-arms-and-shields-and-battle-cry furious 

Vote-the-fucker-out furious 

Rally-in-the-streets furious 

Practice-what-you-preach furious 

Kids these days 

Are done with 

Sitting down 

And staying quiet 

Kids these days 

Have fists 

And ballots 

And protest signs 

And picket lines 

And we’re going to use them

@glassheartedboy

You make it sound like it’s a bad thing, to be a monster. But the day will come when you wish for a monster to drive away the true evil, but I wasn’t here to be at your side.

- And on that day, your kingdom will fall // CBL

“Love, Elizabeth thought, was patiently waiting for a knock on the front door. Grief was knowing the knock would never come and still sitting on the stairs, still waiting, and waiting, and waiting.”

Hehehehe

the closest I’ve ever come to gender dysphoria is wanting to claw away my skin until i reveal all the stardust resting in the deepest parts of me and tear it all out until i become part of the tapestry of the universe again

My missing friend is no longer missing, my iud cramps (my back feeling like it’s being broken) are gone, and I have a fridge full of energy drinks. Maybe I’ll actually update my fics tonight

Every time I read the news trump has broken yet another law, tried to murder a baby, did something horrifically stupid and unemotionally funny, or talked about doing something that’ll bring harm to everyone for literally no reason

Somebody sedate me for four years, please