“I’ll Update The Fic This Week,” I Say Like A Liar

I saw the tv glow makes me mourn for everyone who felt like there wasn’t enough time. Everyone who thought their time was up and they just had to stay how they were. They had to stay dying.

There is still time.

There is Always still time.

me when - “I exist to love you”

me when - “I’m not lost anymore, I found the light.”

me when - “I believed in the gods after three decades of non-faith, so that when death comes for me, and it will, I will remain. I will be there, in the next ending, and I will wait for you.”

me when - “You made me hope, did you know that? Did you know you gave me my hope back?”

me when I create two oc’s who are helplessly in love with each other knowing I’m gonna traumatize the shit out of them

Generation Z is “TOO YOUNG”

you say i am too young

too young to be a feminist

too young to know my own sexuality

too young to be depressed

too young to hate

too young to protest

too young to be an activist

too young

too stupid

too naive

and you are right

i am too young

too young to be scared of bullets ricocheting through my school, embedding themselves into my fellow classmates and having to watch as the life from my best friends once bright and hopeful eyes flickers out, knowing i will never be able to apologies for that stupid fight we were having, knowing i will never be able to laugh, smile, or talk with her again, knowing i will never be able to hug her again, knowing i will never be able to tell her i love her one last time

too young to be scared of being raped by a man while i walk down the street in my school uniform because i can feel his eyes watching me and i should have waited for someone to walk with me, i should have waited for jacky to have finished her test so we could walk together because now if something happens to me it’s my fault but i just wanted to go home to get ahead on schoolwork

too young to be scared of finding my friend dead in a sticky pool of her own crimson blood because slitting her wrists and watching the blood flow was better than living or finding her body cold and lifeless on the bathroom floor with candy colored pills scattered around her and stuffed down her throat because she’d rather go out in a loopy daze than try to withstand and fight the torment and i couldn’t make it in time to stop her

too young to be scared of seeing a familiar face on the news because jordan was black and looked older than his actual age and the white middle aged cop shot in “self defense” even though jordan was unarmed and innocent or because elias was muslim and was carrying a “suspiscous” bag and was shot and later died because the police officers thought he was a “terrorist” when elias just wanted to get home to his mom and little sister with a jewelry box to give them, which now sits in peices on the concrete floor

too young to be scared of finding my lgbt friends killled, abandoned, or sent off to a conversion camp because all they wanted was love and acceptance but instead they found hate and rejection because they were “disgusting sinners” who were just “confused” and katy is finally back from camp but she doesn’t even remember my damn name

too young to be sobbing with such lose and grief over people so dear to me who were killed and died too young because no one would help them because all of their cries were “fake” because they were too young to know “real” pain

too young to be scarred, bruised, bloody and beaten by a war i did not start or choose to fight in

you say i am too young

and you are not wrong

i am too young

too young for

H O M O P H O B I A

R A C I S M

S E X I S M

R A P E

S E L F   H A R M

S U I C I D E

G U N   V I O L E N C E

and

S C H O O L   S H O O T I N G S

to be normal to me

i should not be so desensitized by this violent reality

so yes, i am too young

but you cannot blame me

for my hyper awareness of our reality

my generation was born with information at our fingertips

and we have been told to sit still and be quiet

because the adults were talking

but you had your chance

it is now our turn to speak

and our turn to fight

because our rage is pure fire

and with every ragged breath we take

our lungs get more shredded by all of the hate and misery

that is ingrained so deeply in our society

you say we are “too sensitive”

because we are “hormonal teenagers who cannot control our emotions”

and therefore we “cannot have opinions”

but you can no longer invalidate our claims as we yell for change

because the DEATH of our classmates

and the BLOOD of our friends

has paved the path for this revolution

your generation may have won battles

but my generation will be the one to win the war

my generation will be the one to instill change and bring peace

because we grew up in a hating world spiraling into darkness and death

and dying was never our biggest fear

watching the world burn around us was expected

but we fully intend to repair the damage you all have so carelessly done

>>we are generation z and we will be the ones to rise from the ashes<<

3/31/18

started: 2:31 a.m.

finished: 3:49 a.m.

Jake’s gone and Bradley - Bradley has never learned how to look back, even when he should.

it annoys me when sapphic women see an attractive woman and are like “i’m no better than a man 😳😔” like BABE you are allowed to see an attractive woman and want to fuck her!!! free yourself from the cottagecore PG13 narrative of sapphic attraction, look at her with lust in your heart!!!

do me a favor

Tell me again about how global warming isn’t real while you sign the detention slip for the girl you dress coded in the middle of March because it’s been in the 70’s for the last week?

Tell me again how wrong men being in relationships with men is disgusting as you navigate to the lesbian videos on pornhub?

Tell me again about how gay marriage goes against your Christian beliefs as you sneak off to meet your mistress for the third time today, whom you’re leaving your second wife for?

Tell me again why I, and others like me, should have fought harder against my silent attacker, while you laugh off little boys chasing, and hitting little girls, saying Boys will be boys?

Tell me again why my shoulders, and my knees, and my back need to stay covered, while boys get away with cut offs that show their stomachs?

Tell me again why my breastfeeding is disgusting, and why my nipples must be hidden, while you watch hours of porn fantasizing over unnatural breasts, then saunter outside to mow your lawn without a shirt?

Tell me again why you get a say in what happens with my ovaries when you know in the back of your mind you wouldn’t stick around, and would fight tooth and nail not to pay child support if you got me pregnant.

Please, tell me again.

obsessed where stories where it is like. the mistakes are unfixable and the worst thing that could happen happened and nothing can go back to how it was. but there was still love in this and love will continue after this and love endures always.

"So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love."

- E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly

on tragedy, fate, and inevitability.

oresteia, robert icke // theatre of the oppressed, augusto boal // song of achilles, madeline miller // the book thief, markus zusak // antigone, jean anouilh // revisiting mockingjay ahead of the hunger games prequel, entertainment weekly // romeo and juliet, shakespeare // h of h playbook, anne carson // war of the foxes, richard siken // the road to hell (reprise), hadestown // planet of love, richard siken // they both die at the end, adam silvera

no no god please can we talk about how maddy/tara finds her heart. their hearts. locked away and still beating. and we have to assume, even though she dug herself out, she’s still dying without her heart. but she left it there. she left it there with isabel’s because she needs to go back in, they need to get out together. she left her heart. they’re both still beating but she left her heart. to go back.