What Fucks Me Up About The Darren Wilson Fundraiser Is That He Hasn’t Been Charged With A Crime. He

A few weeks ago my mom stapled pages of a story in one of her women’s magazines together and handed it to me. She gave it to me pretty much with the tag lines “for your feminist blog” and “something new to consider.” Indeed it was; she knows me well.

The story is titled “I was forced to be pregnant.” With a title like that, reading it was actually not on the top of my to read list. I thought it was about women not exercising their right to choice. I was very, very wrong on that one.

Have you ever heard of Reproductive coercion? It is a term that was quite recently coined by the advocates against domestic violence to describe a certain type of abuse some women face. It occurs when a man pressures their partner to have kids and/or impregnates them against their will. Reproductive coercion comes in three different types: 1. Emotional pressure that turns into verbal and physical abuse. 2. Sabotaging birth control 3. Marital rape Over 75% of women 19-49 who reported once experiencing domestic violence also endured some type of reproductive control by men. It’s all about control and domination over a woman’s body.

The first story in the magazine is about a woman who got married around 36 years of age. After a few months of dating her boyfriend talked excitedly about having children. After he proposed he began calling her “The Babymaker.” She then confided with him that one of her fallopian tubes was blocked. He in return insisted she see a fertility doctor. She recounts, “I had finally met a great guy who was eager to start a family with me. What woman wouldn’t fall for that?” Soon after her honeymoon he persisted on in an obsessive manner, but his efforts had to be temporarily halted as she had to get emergency back surgery. Alas, 6 months into recovery he was back to pressuring her again. She was in much pain at the time due to her back, but she agreed to In Vitro Fertilization. She then became pregnant, but soon miscarried. In response, her husband grabbed her by the neck, choking her. He apologized, blaming his outburst on his grief and had her sign up for another round of IVF. And then a third round. She tried to put him off with the excuse that she needed to weigh more before she could take treatments, her husband forced her to get on the scale often and filled the fridge with fattening foods. “It hurt that all I was good for was getting pregnant.” She recounts. At the end, he screamed at her, threatening to replace her with a maid if she couldn’t get pregnant and she told him she no longer wanted to have his child. He destroyed bedroom furniture, pushed her down the stairs and threatened her with a gun. She fled to a domestic violence shelter.

The second story was about a woman who faced marital rape. This woman was 40, had a then boyfriend and two children from a previous marriage. After telling her boyfriend she did not want any more children, her boyfriend refused to wear a condom and began to rape her.  She then became pregnant with her third child. Birth control was never an option for her because she couldn’t hide pills anywhere for he went through all of her belongings. Three months after giving birth, he raped her again, impregnating her with twins. She lost the twins in a physical fight with him, but soon became pregnant again. During her recovery she begged her obstetrician to remove her ovaries and devise a lie to tell him; that she had cancer. After a decade of sexual abuse and violence she was able to get a job that kept her out of the house and often times traveling.

One in four callers to the National Domestic Abuse hotline said that their partners had tried to force them to become pregnant. Why? As one woman stated, “Its like he wants to own me from the inside out.”  Having a baby is the perfect tie that binds. These type of abusers want to create a circumstance in which their partner is dependent on him.

WHAT’S THAT HAVE TO DO WITH PLANNED PARENTHOOD?

Many voters never consider how defunding these clinics could hurt victims of domestic violence who turn to them for counseling as well as pregnancy prevention. Abused women will turn to health care providers long before they will turn to domestic abuse hotlines and organizations. Many women in abusive relationships rely on life saving, affordable care programs such as Title X. It is critical that such places are open and operation when women and children need them so desperately.

Cop Worship & the Criminalization of Blackness. In this hierarchy of violence a cop’s life matters infinitely more than a black person’s life, and Americans… are expected to demonstrate sympathy with the lives of police officers. By contrast, Americans are encouraged to scrutinize and question the humanity of black and brown people murdered by police before questioning the lethal force used in otherwise non-lethal situations. This social reality illustrates how power is coordinated and wielded unilaterally, directed against the masses by a specialized minority within the population. Police repression is framed in the mainstream media in such a way that when police commit violence against black and brown communities, it appears to white Americans as if they simply are protecting white communities from black criminality. This is the active dissemination of white supremacy. From it police accrue social capital and power within a conception of black bodies that perpetuates their dehumanization and murder. Completing the cycle, racist white Americans, after participating in the process of dehumanizing black people slain by police, then offer their sympathy, material support, and privilege to killer cops. …Ultimately, cops are praised because they enforce violence on behalf of the moneyed class. They protect existing power, wealth, and the right to exploit for profit, while simultaneously appearing to exist primarily for public safety. Straddling this paradoxical position, cops are worshiped because they are explicitly and implicitly attached to the rewards of privilege under capitalism.

Gangs of the State: Police & the Hierarchy of Violence (via america-wakiewakie)

everyone take @poseidhn’s quiz and reblog this post with who your godly parent is in the tags

this is a test to see who’s really a child of who in the fandom

Let’s talk about Nightjars

they are these wonderful tiny predatory birds

With great camouflage for multiple environments

And lovely plumage dependent on their species

BUT BEST OF ALL IS THEIR MOUTHS, which look small then their beaks are closed (they’ve even got cute lil’ whiskers!)

BUT ARE ACTUALLY HUUUUGE

BEST BIRD

Night Star Cat, Cat-O-Lanterns, and Ghost Cats.

Star Wars: How the prequel trilogy mirrored and rhymed the original

hey there LGBTQ kids who are also Christian/Jewish! If you feel like you’re disobeying God, questioning your faith, or feel wrong and dirty for loving who you love, there’s this fantastic site I found today called hoperemains that accurately and thoroughly combs through scripture and its (many) mistranslations, validates your orientation, and basically let’s you know that you’re not pissing off God. It’s insanely thorough and after reading through every page on the entire site it’s super helpful. Go check it out!

Message to all parents:

- Not taking your child’s injuries seriously when they’re younger, may make them feel like they can’t tell you anything when they’re older. - PLEASE let your kid take personal days once in awhile once they reach highschool. - Grades are NOT everything. You can get plenty of well paying jobs now without having to go to college. - Really strict parenting leads to sneaky kids. Trust me. - Let them be who they want. They can’t change who they are, whether it is sexual orientation, gender identity or anything else. They need someone to support them. - ^ Never say “you’re too young to know” - ¼ teenagers deal with a mental illness of some sort (in the U.S). Please make sure they’re okay. - You can’t MAKE them chose an educational field. - Even an A+ student who’s a star athlete can be suicidal. - MENTAL HEALTH COMES FIRST - Self harm is more common than you think amongst teenagers. It’s also not always cutting (or on wrists). Be aware. - Sex ed. doesn’t teach them anything. - Tattoos and piercing aren’t “unprofessional” anymore - If they have depression, please DO NOT call them lazy. It’s almost the worst insult you could say. - If their grades are dropping for no reason, ask about it. Don’t assume things. - Most teenagers don’t have high self esteem. Don’t make it worse. - School is much harder now than it ever has been before. - Not everyone on the internet is a predator - It’s normal to have internet friends now - Take them seriously

Seriously I know that boobs are beautiful and sexy and everything, but really, it’s just some organic jiggling baby feeders. No need to hide them or be ashamed or over-sexualize them. 

FREE TITIES.

You may mess up, but you’re not a mess up.

You may make a mistake, but you are not a mistake.

You may screw up, but you are not a screw up.

You may fail, but you are not a failure.

You are not your downfalls.