I Would Love Like To Instantly Know Someone’s Motive For Murder

battinson befriends the tiny child playing with his ipad in a corner at this gala. it’s timmy :)

Bruce unintentionally dissing the league while praising his kids is so funny to me

Bruce: we need an expert marksman for this job

Oliver: *getting ready to stand up to fully accept Bruce’s praise*

Bruce: Redhood will be here shortly. We also need someone quick on their feet. Luckily Cass is working on a case nearby so we can ask her

I miss them, my kids

The table top rpg from the first bakura arc in the early yugioh manga is so wacky if you try to think about it as a real game.

like the game uses percentile die which in the age of dnd cultural hegemony it's funny that Kazuki Takahashi's image of generic ttrpg in the 90s was a d100 system and not a d20 system. And also the ONLY dice roll is d100 which seems like a lot and very swingy for an other wise really simple seeming game. On the same topic of mechanics that are A Lot for a basic game there are random encounter rolls Every Turn with a 30% chance of a monster encounter immediately outside of the first town and that goes up 80% when they get to a forest which both seem crazy high.

There's also a ton of stuff that we never actually get rules for, like there are stats but it's unclear what they do and damage rolls and movement are never discussed at all. Additionally the player class and race lists which get dropped at the start in a could of charts have some wild stuff in them.

I dont know that ive ever wanted to play an rpg class as bad as i want to play a diabolist.

Headcanon Bruce color-coded his kids... but the colors make No Sense with the Power of Hindsight

Dick is red ❤️ since that was the main color of the Robin suit, and Bruce started doing the color coding when Dick was Robin

Barbara's not technically his kid, but her Batgirl suit was purple so she's purple 💜. Stephanie straight up refused to be anything except purple, so now purple just means Not Technically Adopted

Jason also got a Robin color, but he got yellow 💛 since once he got settled in, he had a very sunny personality. This does not age well.

Bruce doesn’t actually give Tim his own color, since his integration into the family is sloooow. Since Tim is #1 Dick Grayson Fan TM, he always chose the blue cup when grabbing something to drink, so he accidently became blue 💙

Everyone was thinking Cass should be black. But also, Bruce is black. So they shrugged and grabbed the next darkest cup available, which happened to be dark green. The "dark" part ended up getting dropped, though, as it's just easier to get any shade of green 💚

When Damian showed up, Bruce’s mind was still stuck on "Talia’s Kid", so he's bright pink 💖 before he even realizes the color-coding exists

Duke is orange 🧡 because there are literally no other unique colors left

This leads to the baykids yelling at Bruce, "You can’t adopt that kid! There isn't a free color open!". It unironically has a much greater success rate than any other tactic

Falin with Laois hair: Cute pixie cut!

Laios with Falin hair: HEEEEEEYEEEHYEEEHYEHYEH

Royal Whumpee has always been and always will be one of my favorites. Everyone hates them because why should they get to stay up in the bright palace? They're on the brink of war and yet the Royal is off at parties, laughing with the enemy. Embargos are starving the people and the Royal is having a feast. Most people can't afford to clothe themselves in anything other than rags and the Royal has servants upon servants to dress him in the morning. They wouldn't last a day out here in the real world.

Of course, only their closest servant knows that they haven't slept or eaten in days and if you entered their room, you would find them at their desk, surrounded by crumbled paper and letters, bargaining away their soul just for a few years of peace for their subjects, willing to do anything just to lift the embargo, greeting every request for them to rest or eat with a simple, "do not disturb my circles."

thinking about deathsythe!zoro again...

kuina (weapon)'s frustration stemming from the idea that weapons need miesters to become deathsythe's (let's pretend Justin law doesn't exist) and that weapons have to live in submission to miesters by koshiro (miester, maybe his wife/her mom was a weapon...). so Zoro and Kuina's promise is to become the first independent deathsythe to prove that it is possible. and Zoro's 'my ambition means nothing is I can't protect my captain' moment is accepting Luffy as his miester and preforming their first soul resonance.

if i’m okay with it then yea

aros you're marrying for tax benefits i just want to know the general consensus on whether this is okay or no cause i heard some people at work talking about it like it was a cardinal sin

Plot armor but it’s Bruce Wayne’s wealth.

Bruce is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce does not want to be one of the richest men in world.

He starts by implementing high starting salaries and full health care coverages for all levels at Wayne Enterprises. This in vastly improves retention and worker productivity, and WE profits soar. He increases PTO, grants generous parental and family leave, funds diversity initiatives, boosts salaries again. WE is ranked “#1 worker-friendly corporation”, and productively and profits soar again.

Ok, so clearly investing his workers isn’t the profit-destroying doomed strategy his peers claim it is. Bruce is going to keep doing it obviously (his next initiative is to ensure all part-time and contractors get the same benefits and pay as full time employees), but he is going to have to find a different way to dump his money.

But you know what else is supposed to be prohibitively expensive? Green and ethical initiatives. Yes, Bruce can do that. He creates and fund a 10 year plan to covert all Wayne facilities to renewable energy. He overhauls all factories to employ the best environmentally friendly practices and technologies. He cuts contracts with all suppliers that engage in unethical employment practices and pays for other to upgrade their equipment and facilities to meet WE’s new environmental and safety requirements. He spares no expense.

Yeah, Wayne Enterprises is so successful that they spin off an entire new business arm focused on helping other companies convert to environmentally friendly and safe practices like they did in an efficient, cost effective, successful way.

Admittedly, investing in his own company was probably never going to be the best way to get rid of his wealth. He slashes his own salary to a pittance (god knows he has more money than he could possibly know what to do with already) and keeps investing the profits back into the workers, and WE keeps responding with nearly terrifying success.

So WE is a no-go, and Bruce now has numerous angry billionaires on his back because they’ve been claiming all these measures he’s implementing are too expensive to justify for decades and they’re finding it a little hard to keep the wool over everyone’s eyes when Idiot Softheart Bruice Wayne has money spilling out his ears. BUT Bruce can invest in Gotham. That’ll go well, right?

Gotham’s infrastructure is the OSHA anti-Christ and even what little is up to code is constantly getting destroyed by Rogue attacks. Surely THAT will be a money sink.

Except the only non-corrupt employer in Gotham city is….Wayne Enterprises. Or contractors or companies or businesses that somehow, in some way or other, feed back to WE. Paying wholesale for improvement to Gotham’s infrastructure somehow increases WE’s profits.

Bruce funds a full system overhaul of Gotham hospital (it’s not his fault the best administrative system software is WE—he looked), he sets up foundations and trusts for shelters, free clinics, schools, meal plans, day care, literally anything he can think of.

Gotham continues to be a shithole. Bruce Wayne continues to be richer than god against his Batman-ingrained will.

Oh, and Bruice Wayne is no longer viewed as solely a spoiled idiot nepo baby. The public responds by investing in WE and anything else he owns, and stop doing this, please.

Bruce sets up a foundation to pay the college tuition of every Gotham citizen who applies. It’s so successful that within 10 years, donations from previous recipients more than cover incoming need, and Bruce can’t even donate to his own charity.

But by this time, Bruce has children. If he can’t get rid of his wealth, he can at least distribute it, right?

Except Dick Grayson absolutely refuses to receive any of his money, won’t touch his trust fund, and in fact has never been so successful and creative with his hacking skills as he is in dumping the money BACK on Bruce. Jason died and won’t legally resurrect to take his trust fund. Tim has his own inherited wealth, refuses to inherit more, and in fact happily joins forces with Dick to hack accounts and return whatever money he tries to give them. Cass has no concept of monetary wealth and gives him panicked, overwhelmed eyes whenever he so much as implies offering more than $100 at once. Damian is showing worrying signs of following in his precious Richard’s footsteps, and Babs barely allows him to fund tech for the Clocktower. At least Steph lets him pay for her tuition and uses his credit card to buy unholy amounts of Batburger. But that is hardly a drop in the ocean of Bruce’s wealth. And she won’t even accept a trust fund of only one million.

Jason wins for best-worst child though because he currently runs a very lucrative crime empire. And although he pours the vast, vast majority of his profits back into Crime Alley, whenever he gets a little too rich for his tastes, he dumps the money on Bruce. At this point, Bruce almost wishes he was being used for money laundering because then he’s at least not have the money.

So children—generous, kindhearted, stubborn till the day they die the little shits, children—are also out.

Bruce was funding the Justice League. But then finances were leaked, and the public had an outcry over one man holding so much sway over the world’s superheroes (nevermind Bruce is one of those superheroes—but the public can’t know that). So Bruce had to do some fancy PR trickery, concede to a policy of not receiving a majority of funds from one individual, and significantly decrease his contributions because no one could match his donations.

At his wits end, Bruce hires a team of accounts to search through every crinkle and crevice of tax law to find what loopholes or shortcuts can be avoided in order to pay his damn taxes to the MAX.

The results are horrifying. According to the strictest definition of the law, the government owes him money.

Bruce burns the report, buries any evidence as deeply as he can, and organizes a foundation to lobby for FAR higher taxation of the upper class.

All this, and Wayne Enterprises is happily chugging along, churning profit, expanding into new markets, growing in the stock market, and trying to force the credit and proportionate compensation on their increasingly horrified CEO.

Bruce Wayne is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce Wayne will never not be one of the richest men in the world.

But by GOD is he trying.