Just Asked My Husband To Create An App Or Website To Replace NaNoWriMo (jokingly), Expecting Him To Lol

Writers should NOT feel guilty about:

Skipping a day of writing.

Not having a perfect first draft.

Partaking in sinister, arcane rituals for inspiration.

Working at their own pace.

Enlisting demons and/or helpful spirits to aid them with editing.

How was I not supposed to love you?

“Are you dating yet?” Robin grabs at his sleeve.

“SHHHH” Steve’s eyes are panicked.

Robin rolls her eyes at him “Whatever it’s fine.”

“It is not fine!! He doesn’t even like me like that.”

“…he was just sitting on your lap.”

“And?”

Eddie peeks his head around the kitchen corner “Are you guys talking about me?”

“No!” Steve panics “Why? What’s up?”

“Are you ready to go?”

Steve exhales, “Sure, let’s go.”

He leads Eddie out reaching his hand behind him. He and Eddie have grown closer over the years since Vecna. They’ve definitely become comfortable touching which is why Steve is surprised when Eddie pulls his hand back.

“I don’t feel like holding hands,” Eddie grumbles.

Oh…

“What were you talking about? In the kitchen?”

“Nothing just work problems”

“Really.” Eddie sneers at him.

“Why would I lie about that?” Steve puts on his best puppy dog eyes hoping the conversation will end.

“Maybe I embarrass you.” He tilts his head to the side staring at the full moon above him.

“What?! They’re obviously ok with you and they know how I feel about you. Do you know how many times people asked me tonight if we were dating?”

Eddie’s eyes grow wide “Why?!”

“Eds you sat on me the entire time.” Steve deadpans.

“Why!? Sitting on laps is not gay.”

“It definitely is.”

“Well it’s not and we wouldn’t be dating anyway.” Eddie huffs and crosses his arms.

“We wouldn’t?” Steve feels his heart shatter.

“Of course not! We’re friends!”

“Why do you say it like that.” Steve says quietly.

“Like what?” Eddie looks at him confused.

“Like I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you.”

Eddie’s mouth forms a little o before it settles into a deep frown.

“…don’t say that”

“Why not!” Steve argues. “We tell each other we love each other all the time-”

“As friends! Platonically!!!”

“You care about me more than anyone else. I know you think I’m attractive that’s not an issue. I know you’re not straight so why not? You notice when I bite my nails, when I haven’t eaten. You claim you don’t care for me but you’re glued to my side. You grab for me in your sleep. You want me to introduce you to my family. You want to live together because spending the night isn’t enough. You call me just to tell me you miss me. How was I supposed to not fall in love with you.” Steve tries to pull him closer but Eddie pushes away.

“You don’t love me you like the attention.”

“No,” Steve said sternly. Trying to convey every emotion he’s felt for Eddie in that one word. “You’re wrong.”

“But…” Eddie’s big eyes were watery with tears. Confusion apparent in his features, “We’re friends…”

—————-

Hate to say it but…inspired (almost word for word) by a conversation I just had….

Yes I’m the Steve in this situation.

As always I pour all my thoughts and emotions into my writing.

Will be going back to writing my happy steddie fics when I’m over this.

Sorry for the rushed job :P (and the pity party)

REBLOG IF YOU HAVE STRETCHMARKS

This way people can see they’re not alone. I have them and this would help me see that.

Robin: Steve, why is Eddie biting your arm?

Steve: oh it’s a good stim for him, especially when he’s happy. Plus it feels good

Robin: You two are so weird

Steve holding his other arm out: wanna try it?

Cut to Dustin bursting in, seeing Robin and Eddie biting at Steve’s arm and promptly walking right back out

This is touching my heart and soul.

Sometimes all we need is just some Happiness.

a comic about fix-it fanfics

Jealousy Looks Different On You

[Part One] ✨ [Part Two] ✨ [Part Three] ✨ [You Are Here]

Steve was a romantic, once upon a time. Twenty-year-old Steve would have swooned at Eddie's words, at the idea that love is enough. However, Steve is not twenty anymore. Steve is thirty-one with a string of failed relationships. He's always been one to fall hard and fall fast and if love truly was enough, Steve would have made it work by now.

Because he loves Eddie, but it's not like he's only loved Eddie. It's not like Steve's been living a celibate life full of longing and pining and sorrow. He'd loved Nancy, back in high school. Candy, his first girlfriend here in Chicago, had his heart for eight months before she moved away; they'd even debated long distance but, in the end, knew it wouldn't work. Sarah, Mary, Savannah; after coming out there was Mark and Dylan. All of whom he loved while still loving Eddie.

What was the point in pining after someone who didn't want him back?

He'd even had a long-term boyfriend, Brian, for two years that Steve thought would be forever, until the breakup he never saw coming. Because Steve never saw them coming. He was in love. Why would he look for signs that his relationship was ending?

"Eddie, I can't. If we don't work out- I can keep going as we are. You're one of my best friends. I know how to manage, it's- we'll be good as we are," Steve says, finally ending his pacing by dropping back onto his spot on the couch.

"I can't," Eddie says, words uncharacteristically soft and quiet.

"What?" Steve asks, voice laced with hurt and confusion, feeling like ice has been poured down his back. What does Eddie mean he can't? Can't what? He braves a look at Eddie to find he looks devastated, eyes wet and his pouty lips downturned.

"I can't," Eddie repeats and it's his turn to stand from the couch, to pace the living room that was once his too. "I- Jesus Christ Steve, you've had fucking, what, years? To accept that- years of thinking we'd never be together. All this time thinking I knew but didn't want you back.

"I didn't get that. I had, fucking hell, I never let myself accept that you might actually want me back. I haven't- I can't learn that we might have a chance and just not take it. How can you ask that of me? You're all I've fucking wanted for-forever, and I can't- I don't- Why didn't you ever ask me if I was interested in you?" Eddie's voice cracks on the last sentence.

And Steve should probably feel bad for Eddie, should understand what he's feeling, but all he feels is angry. It hits quick and fast, and all feelings of ice are gone. "Ask you? Ask you!? Why the fuck would I have done that when you've never, not once since I've known you, hesitated to go after who you want!? You don't hesitate to grab someone and drag them to the dance floor at the bar, you don't hesitate to ask for what you want, don't hesitate to go on and on about all the things you want in a partner; a list, by the way, that I don't fulfill. A list I'll never live up to!"

Steve doesn't remember doing it, but at some point in his rant he's stood again. The coffee table separates them as Steve yells out his frustrations. He doesn't want to be yelling at Eddie, though. The alternative is to cry, and Steve feels his throat grow thick as he finishes in a quieter tone, "You-You throw yourself at everyone who isn't me. Use me to make them jealous so they'll make the first move. How was I supposed to ask you if you'd ever want me when you made it- made it seem like you never would?"

"I- I was trying to make someone jealous enough to make the first move, but it wasn't- fuck, Steve, it wasn't them."

Steve sniffles, trying to will himself to not fully cry, "if that didn't work the first time, why did you think it would work any of the other times?"

"It's not- I wasn't ever expecting it to work. I just- I don't even know what I was thinking, much less expecting. But Steve, please, please believe me. I want to be with you. Please, give me, us, a chance," Eddie begs.

Jesus Christ. How often has Steve daydreamed about this? About Eddie showing up and confessing and begging Steve to give him a chance? A pathetic amount, surely, yet Steve can't bring himself to follow the script of his daydream. In the dream, Steve accepts; pulls Eddie into a kiss that makes them both dizzy.

This isn't a daydream, though. This is his life, real life, and Steve has things he won't compromise on now.

"Eddie, I... I want to. I used to dream that we'd get a chance, but I, I have other dreams, too. Ones I'm not willing to give up. Not even for you."

"I'm in," Eddie jumps to say, "whatever you want, whatever your dreams, they'll be mine, too."

Fuck, Eddie's not making this easy, is he? Steve wishes he could believe him. Steve wants to believe him. "I want to buy a house in a small town, or on the outskirt of a bigger city. With a yard, for a puppy."

Eddie is nodding quickly because these demands are easy to agree to. It's the last bit that Steve's not sure Eddie wants.

"The house has to be at least four bedrooms. Because I want to be a dad. I want kids."

Eddie doesn't nod to that, which Steve was expecting. He shouldn't be disappointed and yet.

"I never... I've never thought I'd be a dad," Eddie says slowly.

"I've always wanted to be one."

Eddie makes the first move, stepping around the coffee table that separates them, to get close to Steve. "I know. Sweetheart, I know," he says, reaching out for Steve, and Steve lets him. Eddie reaches out with his left hand to grasp one of Steve's hands, and the other hand reaches up to Steve's face. Steve closes his eyes, accepting, and Eddie cups his cheek so tenderly it forces a hiccupped sob from Steve, and Eddie swipes away the tear that fell when he closed his eyes.

"I know you'll be an amazing dad. And if you're with me, I think I'll be an okay one."

Steve sucks in a sharp breath and his eyes snap open to look at Eddie. Both their eyes are wet. Steve searches his face, looking for what, he doesn't even know. A sign that Eddie means what he says, probably, but it's not something Steve will be able to find just from looking.

It's only something Steve can fully accept and believe by Eddie proving it.

"Please, Steve. I'll make every dream you have come true if you let me. I love you."

Steve swallows thickly before saying, "You can't flirt with other people, to try and make me jealous. It's fine if you flirt like you used to, harmless and playful, but not- You can't do that anymore. I won't- I can't watch that again."

"Why would I even want to, if I have you?"

What a fucking charmer. "I- Okay. Okay. We have... we have a lot more to talk about, but if you're serious-"

"As a demobat bite."

"And we'll- we'll have to take it slow. Because I can't- I can't just dive in because if we don't work, I can't-"

"As slow as you need," Eddie promises, and Steve doesn't think he's ever seen Eddie looks this serious.

"Okay. Let's try." Steve can't bring himself to say 'I love you' back, even though Eddie knows. For real, now. It's what got them into this situation but saying it now feels big. Too big, too fast, too much. There are more conversations to be had and things to plan for before Steve will feel like he can say it again.

Steve expects Eddie to kiss him, but he doesn't. Eddie pulls him into a tight hug, clinging to Steve like letting go will kill him.

Steve holds back just as tight.

-

This is where I'll end it! A hopeful ending for the boys <3

@xxbottlecapx @im-sam-fucking-winchester @novacorpsrecruit @thewickedkat @dreamy-jeans137 @everywherenothere @hangingupinthehallway @estrellami-1 @queenie-ofthe-void @dreamsteddie @acowardinmordor @steviesummer @kinryuuki @genderless-spoon @paperbackribs @steddiecameraroll @yesdangerpls @jackiethevampireslayer @skitchskatchbat @sani-86 @exasperatedsighohmy @tinyplanet95 @chaotic-waffle

ilove people who work at front desks of things. i can walk into a building and go to the desk and i ask how do i do this thing. and then they just fucking tell me !!!!

I will never be able to think otherwise!

every time totk mentions “sky islands,” i can only think of skypiea

macarons

How I feel after finally finishing that long-ass chapter...