I Love This Development!

Steve can’t breathe anymore. Not around Eddie. Not when he looks like that, completely at ease, cigarette between his lips, smoke in his face and in his hair, eyes closed. Allowing Steve to look. To stare. To see.

Allowing him to feel the way his heart picks up its rapid beat against his rib cage, to feel the lump forming in his throat, and that tingling sensation to travel from his fingertips to his palm where he imagines touching his hand to Eddie’s face, tucking that one stubborn strand of hair behind his ear, and then keep it there. His hand against Eddie’s cheek. Thumb stroking gentle patterns until Eddie’s eyes catch his, catch the meaning behind his stare, behind the way he can’t look away, can never look away, and—

Lean in. Lean his forehead against Eddie’s. Breathe him in. Inch closer, torturously slow but clear in his intention. Smile before he even gets there, before he feels those lips agains his own, claiming them in a kiss.

No, not claiming. Asking. Offering. Treasuring.

It makes him tingle, that thought. That all-encompassing thought that keeps him from sleeping, keeps him from focusing at work, keeps him even from listening to Eddie’s words right now. Those lips are moving, spreading into a grin and then a laugh, and—

“Steve.”

He blinks out of his love-crazed stupor and looks at a beautiful, smiling, delighted Eddie. Steve wants to trace that smile with his lips.

“Hm?”

Eddie blows out the smoke and smiles impossibly wider. “What is it, huh? What’s got you looking like that?”

Don’t you know? Can’t you see? Aren’t I the most obvious person on this planet? Won’t you see me?

“Nothing,” he rasps, falling back onto the grass, looking up at the purple sky above them.

Eddie doesn’t say anything, doesn’t make him talk like he usually would. He just takes another drag of his cigarette, and hums, looking up as well — allowing Steve to watch again. He always does that. He never looks back. Never looks at Steve like that.

Won’t you see me?

Steve wants to reach out. Eddie’s ankle is right there, his chin resting on his knee, looking like he’s in deep thought. Or just serene. Either way, completely oblivious to the yearning that tears Steve in half and makes him want to wrap his hand around Eddie’s foot. Just to touch. Just to be there.

But he can’t.

He can’t.

And maybe there’s nothing to see anyway. He exhales, wishing for his feelings to disappear right along with the air in his lungs.

But they don’t. They won’t. They can’t.

Steve and Eddie, who are both in a city for some music awards the next day, who both decide to go out for a couple of drinks the night before, who entirely thanks to destiny sit next to each other at the bar, who hit it off quickly and start talking and go on and on and on and on...

Steve knows that he recognizes Eddie from somewhere, but he is not entirely sure where from until a guy approaches them asking for a picture with him, that Steve takes very amused, and he realises he's the metal guy Dustin had asked him to take a picture with if he saw him at the awards.

Eddie, on the other hand, doesn't recognise Steve at all, even though he is objectively way more famous than him. It's just that Steve always wears a wig and sunglasses, a moustache that is sometimes fake. It's not like his identity is a secret, he does some interviews without the costume. It's what robin has called his 'drag persona' and not his hannah montana. Gives him some peace in the way that only dedicated fans recognise him when he's out.

The night is coming to an end and Eddie gets a brilliant idea to see Steve again. He asks him to be his date to the award show, like a full date, stand at his side at the red carpet and pose with him and everything, he thinks it will be fun and a very amused Steve agrees.

Eddie is very confused and surprised when the photographers ask to take pictures of his date alone at the red carpet, when some interviewers call out to him and he goes to them easily, but he is too caught up on his own interviews with his band to really pay attention to whatever shenanigans his very hot "anonymous" date has decided to pull.

Eddie is absolutely shocked when his hot "anonymous" date wins artist of the year and kisses him before going on the stage.

Stop trying to be productive

I only had Steve repeating his senior year because I wanted the kids to know Eddie already, but thinking about it? This messes Steve up so so much more. He obviously met Robin, who asked a few pointed questions that made him go oh. about his life and his identity.

He’s back for another year in high school because of post concussion symptoms. His parents are probably pissed. He’s trying to rebuild his own sense of self without defining it with popularity, but he’s stuck in the place where he was the most popular before. And is now one of those loser super seniors.

Enter Eddie, who had been on Steve’s radar as a vague awareness of maybe-attraction in previous years. And the guy is protecting his kids. Encouraging them. He’s also as close to Out as he can be in Hawkins. He knows who he is. He’s unapologetic and doesn’t let trends define him. He’s who he wants to be. Of course there’s hearteyes.

But Steve isn’t comfortable with himself enough to talk to him directly. Hence the letters.

And maybe at first he wasn’t even sure that Eddie liked getting them. Or was even reading them. Probably wrote about how he was anonymous because he didn’t think Eddie would actually like him if he knew. It’s been a theme from the start, and it was probably the first thing that Eddie talked about when he could finally write back.

Eddie totally said that anyone who wrote letters like that, who was that kind and clever and generous and funny, would always be someone Eddie liked. Loved. That it wouldn’t matter if X was ugly, that it wouldn’t even matter if X was a girl. That Eddie would still want to know them.

And that’s when you have those insults. When Steve was finally finally brave enough to be around Eddie. To come to Hellfire. Because Eddie had promised in the letters to teach X how to play, that he’d be so so patient because X told him that he probably wasn’t smart enough to play.

Eddie has to betray everything he’s said.

And it is specifically because Steve Harrington is anathema to Eddie.

Proof that who Steve wants to be, tries to be, is wanted, but who he is in real life, not on paper, isn’t good enough.

(Yes, Robin had to be hugged into submission to keep her from slashing Eddie’s tires)

But, tag writer whose user name I can’t recall, Steve didn’t write his last letter in the car. He dropped off the boys, went home, and wrote something longer at first. He tried to find a way to explain to Eddie that he’s trying. That he wants to be a better person who Eddie would be happy to discover is X. He writes it, and he doesn’t believe that it will ever happen. That he can ever be better.

Anyway, Steve totally gets Vecna’d in this AU, and Eddie is one of the focal points.

sometimes you need dialogue tags and don't want to use the same four

Steve had spent his entire life trying to be perfect. He tried to be the perfect son with sports and popularity, he even tried his best with his grades which was evident until his first major concussion. He tried to be the perfect friend to Carol and Tommy H., even the basketball teams and other jocks, by providing free rides, parties in his house, and being a listening ear for their teenage drama. He even tried to be the best Steve he could be after the popularity faded and the demons from the shadows of Hawkins emerged. Nothing was ever enough.

He wasn’t a good enough son that deserved not to be ignored or neglected by his parents. He wasn’t a good enough student to be allowed to get into a good college or even a local community one. He wasn’t a good enough friend to the people in High School and that’s why they left him.

Through everything though, he thought he was a good person afterwards. He helped the kids the best he could, he protected them with his life, and he would do anything to ensure the survival of everyone in the Party. He knew he was good at that.

Or he thought so until he saw Eddie wasting away in a hospital bed with handcuffs on his wrists and blood soaking through the bandages on the mauled skin of his chest. He tried his best to be a good friend that could support the Party until Dustin broke his heart into splinters for something he couldn’t predict.

“You were so jealous of Eddie that you gave him the most dangerous job?! You knew how harmful the demobats were and you sent him there for a reason! That’s why you didn’t let him go with you, you wanted Eddie to die!”

After all he’d done to be good, to be the person people could count on, to be perfect; he still wasn’t enough. The kids still looked at him as the mean boy of the town and if the kids did, what did the others think?

Did Mrs. Byers still see him as the teenage dirtbag that got into a fight with her son and got him arrested?

Did Hopper still see him as the scoundrel that drank underage and threw parties that upset the neighbors in Loch Nora?

How did Nancy see him? She was the person who actually saw him at his worst, the one who opened his eyes to his failures. Did she still see him as the guy that he never wanted to be?

Steve had worked so hard his entire life to be what everyone else always wanted him to be. He hid so deeply beneath fake masks and facades that he didn’t even know who he truly was anymore, he didn’t know if he ever had.

All he knew was that after their latest run-in with the Upside Down, he went home to an empty house. He ignored the broken glass and the damage caused by the earthquake. He only focused on the fact that everyone else was currently with their families. His parents were who knows where doing who knows what but they were together, the only family they had ever wanted.

Robin was at her place with her family, her parents probably doting on her after worrying for so many days. They’d let Steve in but he didn’t want to intrude more than he’d already had. Nancy and Mike were with their parents, Jonathan, Will, and El were with Joyce and Hopper, Lucas and Erica were with the Sinclairs and Max, and Dustin was with Mrs. Henderson and Mews II. Even Eddie in a pain-induced state of unconsciousness was with Mr. Munson.

Despite all of his efforts to be perfect, to be deserving of love and pride, Steve was still alone. He’d worked for years to be someone worth loving, hell, someone worth tolerating, and it still wasn’t enough. All he had were his friends in the Party and after his talk, nay the lecture, from Dustin, he wasn’t even sure he had them. If he didn’t have them, what did he have?

Depression, PTSD, chronic debilitating migraines, night terrors, and scars?

What was the point of anything if that’s all he had? Did he really want to stick around to find out just for things to worsen like they always did?

After years and years of trying to be perfect, Steve realized he never truly would be. The night he got back to his house after watching the rest of his friends reconnect with their families, he packed up the Beemer and left Hawkins in the rear view.

He was sick of the expectations, the disappointments, and trying to reach a standard he could never sustain.

He left his heart behind wrought with guilt at leaving the Party without any notice and leaving before he knew Munson would be alright but he had no choice. If he didn’t have the kids, he had nothing and that was something he couldn’t face.

steddie brainrot taking over me fr

Uni.

My biggest tip for fanfic writers is this: if you get a character's mannerisms and speech pattern down, you can make them do pretty much whatever you want and it'll feel in character.

Logic: Characters, just like real people, are mallable. There is typically very little that's so truly, heinously out of character that you absolutely cannot make it work under any circumstance. In addition, most fans are also willing to accept characterization stretches if it makes the fic work. Yeah, we all know the villain and the hero wouldn't cuddle for warmth in canon. But if they did do that, how would they do it?

What counts is often not so much 'would the character do this?' and more 'if the character did do this, how would they do it?' If you get 'how' part right, your readers will probably be willing to buy the rest, because it will still feel like their favourite character. But if it doesn't feel like the character anymore, why are they even reading the fic?

Worry less about whether a character would do something, and more about how they'd sound while doing it.

where is any higher quality version of this image