Oh Yea I Feel That! I Was In A Constant Autistic Burn Out And Also Depressed, When I Found The "Steve

LOST WIP - Whump Steve Harringotn

CW: Suicidal thoughts

Steve Harrington was tired.

Tired from the shitty day he'd been having.

Tired of all the sleepless nights he'd been having over the last few years.

But worst of all, he was tired of his existence.

There were days when he didn't want to go on, when he just wanted to stop existing.

It wasn't going to get any better, if anything it was only going to get worse.

Steve was very sure of that.

He had thought about just ending it all, about what would happen if he simply sank into his pool and never emerged again.

But those were thoughts he would keep strictly to himself.

He couldn't do that to Robin and the kids.

They had all endured enough in the last few years, he shouldn't be a part of their trauma.

But he knew that eventually they would leave him behind. That he would become too much and then. Yes, then he could disappear, when no one needed him anymore.

Steve lived as long as his friends still needed him.

He pretended everything was fine and was there when they called for him.

It was after Starcourt that someone started to notice his behavior.

Robin couldn't stop thinking about what had happened and she thought about what had happened to Steve.

She thought about how he had always stepped right in front of her.

How he had run towards a gun.

How he had done the talking and had been the first to be "questioned".

Something that wouldn't let her go.

Had Steve done all that consciously?

Had he actively used himself as a human shield?

However, Robin stopped thinking about it.

It would never go back to normal, but she was happy that it was as close to normal as possible.

Robin had to think about it again after she had told him that she felt that not everyone would get out of here again.

She didn't know why she had to think about it afterwards, only later would she realize that his answer had never included himself. That he was always concerned that all the OTHERS survived.

But at that very moment, other problems were more pressing than the question of what was different about the interaction.

After Vecna was defeated and Eddie and Max were in the hospital, Steve was as busy as ever making sure everyone was okay.

This time she saw clearly that he was taking care of everyone else and not himself.

She wasn't the only one who saw it.

Eddie asked her if Steve was actually taking a break.

They both wished he would.

I will never be able to think otherwise!

every time totk mentions “sky islands,” i can only think of skypiea

Tumblr makes sense to me bc if i see something i like i get excited and hit the button to show other people and theres no weird unspoken social conventions my autistic brain doesnt understand. I can literally sit here and reblog 150 niche shitposts about harvest mice in an hour just bc they make me happy and i dont have to explain myself to anyone and i'll actually *gain* followers instead of just being called weird and downvoted or whatever its so cool

REBLOG IF YOU HAVE STRETCHMARKS

This way people can see they’re not alone. I have them and this would help me see that.

Why does my Brain tells me 80% of the time, that the people I want to befriend hate/dislike me, because I am to much or to awkward…

Why do social interactions always be this complicated and tiring?

Why can’t I just understand humans?

Why do I have to think so much?

steddie brainrot taking over me fr

I wish there would be more fluff and domestic shit!

It is sooo good I want more.

More Reactions (especially gareths reaction to the Selfi!!!!)

More Revealings (Dustin?! Robin?! The Internet?!)

More Steddie finding a pace in life together! (Work? Long distance Relationship? Friends? Familie? Sex? Fans?)

I will read it again in the next Days! That is how good this is.

It is a good story. It has a good red string. It has authentic characters. It has good dialog and thoughts. It has a good sex scene (which you can skip if you do not feel reading smut at the moment). It it is captivating. So captivating that I (an ND individual with problems to concentrate, which results in skipping sentences or skipping from Dialog sentences to dialog sentences sometimes) Didn’t skip sentences! It is well written, so you do not stumble over words or meanings.

I could ramble more about it. It is stuck in my brain now!

by Inktastic1711

Eddie Munson has somehow turned playing Dungeons and Dragons with his friends into a viable career. Steve Harrington is a gorgeous actor who doesn’t know he exists.

Eddie starts an online friendship that turns out to be much more than he expected.

Words: 8555, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Stranger Things (TV 2016)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, Gareth (Stranger Things), Hellfire Club (Stranger Things)

Relationships: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson

Additional Tags: Modern AU, famous au, Virgin Eddie Munson, Bottom Eddie Munson, Getting Together, Actor Steve Harrington, Streamer Eddie Munson, Fluff, Top Steve Harrington, Gareth has concerns, no beta we were on a time crunch, Anal Sex, First Times, Internet Friends

WIP Weekend WIP Snip Share!

Didn't have time to do any WIP games this weekend, but here's a bit I've written for my Steddie (-Jonathan) fic. Because I thought, "huh, you know what this steddie angst fic needs? A Stobin fight."

Enjoy (or... you know)

~~~

Context: As Robin finally convinced Steve to tell Eddie how he feels, they're shocked when they go back to the party and find Jonathan and Eddie making out on the couch.

“Everyone’s gone home,” Robin consoles, tone grating against his skin. He doesn’t need her pity, or anyone else’s. Besides, Steve wouldn’t even be in this mess if it wasn’t for her. Meddling in his love life has never worked out for Steve in the past, and he doesn’t understand why he convinced himself it would be different this time just because it was Robin.

Because why would anyone, let alone someone like Eddie, be interested in dating Steve Harrington, King of Assholes and Jocks. Compared to someone like Jonathan, someone who is so clearly a better match for Eddie, Steve brings nothing to the table.

He laments himself for believing anything she ever said about how Eddie apparently looks at him when his head’s turned, or how he always goes out of his way to make Steve laugh. None of it was real. It was all just lies. Bullshit.

“Then why are you still here?” It’s colder than he meant. Steve can already feel the crown sliding back into place. It’s sickening how much he misses it, an old, awful comfort he worked so hard to shed. And yet, it feels so fucking good to wear it again. 

If only it wasn’t Robin.

Heavy silence weighs against him. It’s not the response he expected. People always have a reaction when they meet King Steve– whether it’s disdain from the kids he tormented, pride from his asshole friends, or disappointment from people like Nancy. 

Steve still hasn’t turned around, his back to the door Robin had come through to find him. The inability to read her eats at his nerves. He denies the sharp urge to look at her– to consume and study every twitch of her mouth, every crinkle of her eyes– to know what she’s thinking right now. But that would mean giving her the same opportunity which is something Steve can absolutely not allow her.

The crown is a cold comfort if yet still a bit ill fitting. It’s been too long since Steve’s had to wield it as a sword and shield to fend off the people closest to him. He’s forgotten how. It wobbles on his head no matter how hard he clings to it. The heat of shame still stings behind his eyes. Steve hates it. So he clings to the anger, if he can’t cling to anything else.

He’s ripped from his seething by a firm hand on his shoulder. Robin’s next to him now, appearing almost out of nowhere. Steve wonders how long the silence lingered, if she said anything to him as he was stuck in the swirl of ruminating thoughts.

“Steve, look at me.”

Brushing her hand off his shoulder, Steve storms across the kitchen. She can’t look at him, she can’t see him. He can’t talk to her with all the shit clogging his throat. It’s all bubbling up inside him, the way it always does, thoughts and feelings he can’t name or pin down long enough to examine, not that he’d ever want to in the first place. Robin needs to leave before it bursts from him like a monster crawling through a hole in the ceiling, ready to hurt anyone in its path. Like a stupid, bigoted boy willing to throw a punch in an alleyway.

“Get the fuck out of my house.”

PSA for fanfic writers

Steddie Wiggly Wednesday

@katyawriteswhump tagged me last week and I recently caught up with Good Omens so I had to spit this out of my brain.

Steve sighs from his perch on the cloud for the umpteenth time in the last ten minutes.

"If 'demons bad' then why are they so..."

"Hairy?" Robin picks up, scrunching her nose in distaste. 

"I'm hairy," he points out, eyes not moving from his target. 

"But you're hairy-hairy and he's like..." she waves her hand. "Furry-hairy!!"

"Yeah," he agrees, but his next sigh doesn't sound like he's sharing her opinion. 

She looks down to ensure they're talking about the same creature. There, on Earth, a demon is talking to a group of kids; his hair is wild, and his hands move frantically as he speaks. 

"Yeah, I don't see it."

====

Eddie freezes in his tracks at the unexpected sight before him. An Angel is fighting in the clearing, slaying the pests that escaped from Hell and therefore beating him at his job. He's not complaining, considering the upstairs had sent the most sinfully hot Angel in their midst.

Keeping his distance, he observes the uneven battle, the sprays of dark blood bursting with each swing of a mace. It's quite an unconventional weapon for an Angel, giving him a more feral, barbaric look than Eddie's used to see from Heaven's emissaries. 

The last of the creatures turns into dust, and the Angel straightens up, chest heaving.

He's covered in blood. 

His pristine white wings are dripping with red and when he spits out with distaste, as some of the gore had reached his face and mouth, Eddie falls to his knees.

Thank Satan he was never given genitals or this would be embarrassing.

It must have attracted the Angel's attention because the next thing he knows, he's shadowing over him. 

"Are you alright?"

All Angels look at Demons like they're dust at the bottom of their sparkly robes. But not this one. His eyes are soft and curious. 

"I don't know," Eddie admits. "Heaven had sent me the most tempting and sinful view, as if I could fall a second time."

"Oh." The Angel's cheeks flush, a sight never seen before, not that Eddie knows of. "I don't know about that," he chuckles nervously. Then, he reaches out a hand, still slightly bloodied but unmistakably angelic. Eddie looks at it with wide eyes. 

"Coming in once..."

He accepts the help and gets pulled back into a standing position. 

"I was just surprised you'd touch a Demon," he says.

"We're made of the same stuff," the Angel shrugs. He's still holding his hand and shakes it gently. "I'm Steve."

"Eddie."

"Have you ever had human coffee, Eddie?" Steve smiles at him, pearly white despite the blood staining his face. 

"Not all of them," he answers truthfully, wondering if the intention behind an invitation like that is supposed to mirror humans. 

"Perfect. I'd love to show you a place."

He hopes it does.

tagging: @stevesjockstrap @penny00dreadful @frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe @doublecherrypiediscosuperfly @kallisto-k