The Institution Of Family

the institution of family

*poor punctuation/grammar, what are capital letters again? :) mention of divorce, dysfunctional view of family, might not make sense, i wrote this while trying to fall asleep, therefore not proofread as i fell asleep, see that makes sense doesn't it?

i have only seen the anime, but ouran has taught me so much about the meaning of family. as a child of divorced parents, even though i am blessed to have always been safe and loved, family has always been a confusing, and borderline negative term. familial pressures and societal views have no doubt shaped my view of the institution of family growing up. according to (segments of) society, there was a formula to a functional family, and mine didn’t quite fit the bill. according to (members of) my family, the things I did should be based on the preferences of (said members of) my family, and the stress i faced was only collateral damage for the happiness of (or maximum peace between) everyone else.

thus, i deduced that my family were merely people who felt a moral obligation to love me; whom i was bound to love in return because of my own moral obligations. I wasn’t satisfied with this answer, because if my family were merely people i was biologically related to, why are morals at play? the only explanation was that the term “family” meant obligations, expectations and responsibility. an obligation for your family to love you, and you them, an expectation to do what those who love you ask of you, and a responsibility to act in your family’s interest. familial love came with such strings attached. if that were the case, wouldn’t we all be better off without family? no strings attached, free to do as we please. it was harsh, but that’s how the world works, isn’t it? the only problem was that even I didn’t fully believe in this black and white world i created in my mind.

the high-society families in ouran matched my understanding of family perfectly. obligations, expectations, responsibility. the family that encapsulates this in its entirety is none other than the ootoris: kyoya, as the third born son — obligations — has to do more than his brothers to please his father, yet should not outshine his brothers — expectations. That would be overstepping his role. his father frowned upon his involvement in the host club — responsibility. He should have prioritised his family’s preferences over his own and acted in the interest of his family. he accepts the burden of being an ootori, just as I accepted my own loaded definition of family, until we met tamaki.

More Posts from Sakura-kissyy and Others

sakura-kissyy

4 months ago

tamaki, you’re my favourite host!! what was life like in france?

-fem anon: 🤍

Hah, well I gracefully thank you for your affections towards me. I've been told I'm very irresistible... But not as irresistible as you, my dearest.

France is such an amazing country, there's so much scenery and history. I think everyone should go there at least once, especially someone as beautiful as you, you would adore France. I see it in your eyes. 🌹

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sakura-kissyy

5 months ago

guys how does haruhi get to school? does she walk, cycle, take the bus or the train?

Tags

ohshc ouran high school host club haruhi fujioka commoner

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sakura-kissyy

3 months ago

haruhi said in a world where you can be anything, be kind

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sakura-kissyy

5 months ago

never thought of it this way but i love it

i lied put your pants back on im gonna tell you why tamaki hugging instead of kissing haruhi was actually the best option because it shows so much character growth within tamaki. throughout the entire show we see tamaki constantly breaking the boundaries of the club members and specifically with haruhi. he finds younger photos of her, puts her in outfits and dresses her like a girl, and picks her up, hugs her, and says things that clearly make her uncomfortable. he does all of this thinking that shes like his daughter and this is what fathers do but in the last few episodes we begin to see tamaki start to understand his feelings towards haruhi. in the second to last episode, tamaki begins to think that he has ruined all of the host members lives and this all comes together when he is forced to marry the bitch whos name i dont remember and forced to leave japan and go back to france. he agrees partially because he may get to see his mother but also because he thinks the host clubs lives will be better without him. however, once he sees haruhi trying to catch up with him and trying to get him to stay, you can see something click in his brain and he decides to stay with the host club. while its never really stated you can also sort of tell that this is the moment that tamaki understands his feelings for haruhi. he then jumps off a bridge to save her and theres a moment of staring at each other. you can tell that tamaki definitely considered kissing her but altogether decided against it because he finally realized that while he loves her, boundaries are still a thing and becauss theyre in mid air he decides not to and instead just hugs her because 1: he just figured out these feelings for himself 2: he doesnt know how haruhi feels. he still passes affection on to her but in a way that is consentual and doesnt cross any boundaries which is a major change from how he acted prior. despite the fact we all wanted there to be a kiss i think this one works way better because it just shows such character growth and respect

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sakura-kissyy

3 months ago