If You Are Going To Be DMing People In The Kink Community

If you are going to be DMing people in the kink community

1. Respect the fact that not everyone wants to talk.

There are a wide variety of reasons why people feel like talking or not talking privately and most of them are not any judgement on you. Maybe they are too tired to talk, have personal things going on in their life currently, are in a relationship where they don’t feel comfortable talking with strangers, are already in a number of conversations currently and don’t have the mental bandwidth to add more, or are just not interested in talking to anyone new.

2. If someone does decide to talk to you please treat them as actual human beings.

No matter how dirty or sexual their posts or reblogs may be that isn’t necessarily or usually how they want strangers to start a conversation off with them. Nobody here exists only for your sexual gratification. Most people prefer to at least get to know a person for a little while until they feel comfortable diving into more sexual topics. This doesn’t have to take days but at least spending some time to introduce yourself and treat them with respect is needed. Nobody submits or dominates someone from the first message, how can they? They don’t even know you.

3. It’s ok for conversations to not go places.

Everyone has different interests and chemistry and even conversations that start friendly might run into roadblocks if that chemistry fails to continue or manifest. Or the other persons life or mental health might not all for them to keep talking. Don’t take it personally and absolutely don’t send nasty messages to someone even if you feel rejected.

4. If someone engages with you sexually or sends you photos or videos. Guard that content with your life.

If someone decides to trust you with sexual conversations or sends you sexual content of yourself. That should all remain in the chat and never leave the chat for any reason. That is meant for you and only you while you both hand a friendly or romantic relationship. It’s not for you to share, post, or even save outside of the conversation unless you have gotten consent to save it. Once your relationship with that person ends its ethical for you to delete any content they gave you out of respect. It’s also important to remember that revenge porn is also illegal in many areas (recently heard a story about a guy who has to work three jobs just keep up with his payments to his victim after being charged with revenge porn) if you need any extra motivation not to share.

5. Respect people’s gender and sexual preferences.

If someone states on their profile that they do not want to interact or be contacted by someone of a particular gender or sexuality please respect that. They made that clear for a reason so be respectful of their preferences.

People want to connect with cool like minded and respectful people on here. Not everyone is gonna be a match for you but almost certainly some will if you go about it in a nice way. If you don’t feel like you can respect any of these rules then it’s better if you take some time and evaluate how you interact with people first.