Walt Whitman
you should know by now what a liar i can be, with two fingers crossed and whispering to you goodnight and sweet dreams, while i resist sleep in favor of picturing what tomorrow's abrupt entrance may bring—
what strength the dusty wind will blow with, what color of light the radiant sun will shine, what striking songs the birds will choose to sing,
or whether this heaviness will still weigh my life's sins on my heart and my mind,
and, maybe, what words from you will greet, from behind a waking veil, these still-sleepy morn eyes;
life, a big black hole
got me leaning in, in some way
I don’t recall anyone on the horizon
I’m all alone, it’s sucking me in
Sucking into the time hole, again
Nobody I know, Nobody I will
-s’s.
am I so soft and alone as they say that I am, in dreamland?
dream of an ugly diary, destined for the bin
seemed like a pretty thing, a life less full of sin
this ocean was diamond-cut sharp with danger
where waters will sting you mercilessly,
don't let me jump either
-s's.
-s's.
this day Summer resurrected from her grave Once again the wind sends the birds that dissolve into dust Sending thoughts northward This is the coldest tear you’ll ever shed Sparks rip your wells to puddles Stars fall on the floor When it starts happening You realize you don’t like it anymore
lying on the floor, toxic fumes inhaled, doors closed
how'd you get here, what's the matter
you know the atom bomb’s around the corner
ah, I was just checking the cars
and that everything belonged
so nice, so calm
Listening to rock,
singing as you fall,
Erasing who you are
listen
gently while the witness
Bears of what it saw;
a soul ascend at dawn
-s’s.
I studied you in busy parks
I studied all your seasons
I loved you even in the dark,
I loved you for no reason
I give you something you can't hold
I give you my dear mind
and even if you never know, I'll love you for all time.
How long do you keep pumping them out of your blood through writing,
Only for them to loiter by your veins and come right back in?