Ten Years Ago You Were So Scared Of Such Different Things, But You Survived Them Anyway. The Same Goes

“Every time you judge yourself you break your own heart.”

— Swami Kripalvauanda

you do not miss them btw. you miss the version of them you created in your head to which they never lived up to

“The past doesn’t need you anymore. Your future does.”

— Unknown

You're valid if you're upset that other people were shocked by your trauma when you disclosed it and you felt like there wasn't room for your own feelings. You're valid if you're upset that other people weren't shocked enough and feel like maybe it means your trauma wasn't that bad (spoiler: it was).

I'm back from rehab and had electroshock therapy and I'm not allowed on my computer for a while but that's OK. I feel like a washed up has been that's just a mistake with no friends but it'll pass one day. Probably.

I'm alone but maybe one day I won't be. After suffering from schizophrenia for 5 years and multiple hospitalizations and ruining all my friendships I hope I can find something or somebody to talk to and relate to. I hope one day I can do something with my art. I am scared and have been canceled before. I have made so many mistakes in life and left places feeling less than. But I hope it will be okay one day and the pain will go away.