Sadjapes - Japes

bpd culture is binge eating bc u subconsciously hope its gonna fill the emptiness, u know it wont but ur desperate

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“Whatever you do, good or bad, people will always have something negative to say.”

— W.H. Auden

My Oc Caster. He can control the weather. I've been ruminating this character for years and it's based off of Ausayn and my first Oc I ever made, a Squirrel in 4th grade. He also has clouds in his ears and on his coat.

Quarter angles whoo!

if you *really* want to try and understand psychosis, I always offer the experience of dreaming.

Almost everyone on the planet dreams, and I find it to be a perfect comparison for psychosis... Anything can happen in a dream and you don't question it. This is your reality. If you're suddenly an astronaut, you don't typically question it. If there's suddenly a dragon, you don't typically question it. A monster can crawl out of the bushes or a stranger can appear in your house. Anyone can be someone they're not. Danger can come from anywhere. A pleasant dream can easily become a nightmare.

The only difference is that you wake up in the morning and it's over. And most people don't judge you for it. When you "wake up" from psychosis, there's often shame and people judge you.

Being mentally ill is ok. It's not shameful or embarassing. A lot of people have some kind of mental illness and you're allowed to be as private or open about ot as you wish. You're not a criminal for being sick.

Occasionally, it hits me that I can just disappear. I can be whoever I want to be. Whatever I've told people, whatever anyone knows of me can all be history. I can move on and become a totally different person if I wanted to. Anyone can. I think that's what's so scary.

“Because once you hear something, you can never return to the time before you heard it.”

— Jonathan Safran Foer // Everything Is Illuminated

if it sucks hit da bricks <- litany against sunk cost

take it easy but take it <- litany against burnout/apathy cycle

fuck it we ball <- litany against perfectionism

now say something beautiful and true <- litany against irony poisoning

When you accuse loved ones of not caring about you, you may not realize it, but it’s hurtful.

I say this as someone who has been on both sides of this. I get the insecurity. I really do. But having now been on the other side of it, it is hurtful to be told that I don’t care about someone when I’ve been exerting energy to be there for them. I understand it’s from their own insecurity but it still hurts.

If you’re feeling insecure, it’s valid but this isn’t an okay way to deal with it. And it can actively damage your relationships and create self-fulfilling prophecies. Try to self-soothe. And if you can’t, it’s okay, but please seek out reassurance in a healthy way.