And The Stars In Our Heart.

10 Feet Away

my mind wants to get away.

so that I can just be alone, so I can’t hurt anyone else,

especially you.

I feel like a threat

and I can't get away

yet here I am, only 10 feet away

As they laughed and pointed

I stood there

Half frozen in the 20 degree weather

My legs were purple

and not just from the cold

I acted like I could withstand the pain

So they’d see I was strong

But I guess I was wrong

I hoped they’d stop

I smiled and laughed

As they beat me down

But I’d always get up

I had to

I covered my legs

So no one could see

The pain on the outside of me

So I know you’re trying to help

But I’ve turned cold

Like my body

The days I was out on that field

Friendly reminder: when people say ‘as long as you tried your best’ it doesn’t mean ‘the best you could possibly have done ever’ it means ‘the best you were capable of at the time.’ Sometimes ‘trying your best’ is just getting out of bed in the morning. Just because you weren’t working yourself to the bone doesn’t mean you weren’t trying your best. 

Stick to the Plan.

the cycle starts again.

why do i keep messing up?

just stick to the plan.

learn to stop talking.

you have to stick to the plan.

stop hurting the people you love.

stick to the plan.

jesus, have some self control.

stick to the plan.

you’ve been this way for so long,

why can’t you stick to the plan?

what’s wrong with your brain?

can’t you just stick to the plan?

you promised yourself you’d stop,

just stick to the plan.

it’s really not that hard.

stick to the plan.

you’re not trying hard enough to fix yourself.

if you’d just stick to the plan,

you wouldn’t be stuck in these problems.

stick. to. the. plan.

- a girl with no self-control. who acts on impulse even when she knows it’s wrong; who doesn’t know how to describe the way she feels; she never knows when to stop and god does she wish she did.

Emotional Abuse

Some people won’t believe you

Because your scars are hidden

Way beneath your skin

People only believe what they can see

And that should be a sin

most common thought: damn haha im going to have to deal with that sooner or later

Loving you.

love is hard

but loving you is the hardest thing to do

i know all the good you’ve done

but i cant overcome

all of the hurt feelings

and i hate what i’ve become

Martyrs

Be my Romeo

I’ll be your Juliet

Let’s get married and run away

Finish their story

Let our love be seen in all its glory

We’ll live in our own secret world

We’ll forget our names and who we were

Let us be so in love

That we are no longer two

But one

Let our story be read by scholars and in schools

Let us be martyrs for a force stronger than any god we’ve ever known

My Romeo, let us be martyrs for a love stronger than what anyone’s seen before.

fires trickle through my veins

fires i know i have lit

the ache in my bones weigh me down

no matter how light i make myself

feeling the weakness in my heart

barely pumping blood to my torn body

and yet i still smile

because this is the way,

the only way they’ll love me.

her body is so broken

and yet she’s still fighting

with no one standing by her side

she’s fighting

for herself

against herself

and the cycle never ends