Struggling With Description And Action

🚨 Urgent Appeal: Help Us Escape the War 🚨

Greetings,

My name is Mohammad Abu Swierh, and I’m reaching out to you from Al-Nuseirat, Gaza, where my wife and I are raising our three precious children: Mira, Bakr, and Maria. Our lives have been upended by the relentless conflict that has plagued our home for over 11 months. 💔

The daily reality we face is beyond what words can express. We live with constant fear and uncertainty, and our once-comfortable home has been severely damaged, leaving us to grapple with unimaginable challenges. My children have been deprived of a normal childhood, and we now find ourselves in a desperate struggle for survival. 💔😔

After much thought and heartache, we have made the difficult decision to leave Gaza in search of a better future for our children, a future where they can grow up safe, free from the shadows of war. But we cannot make this journey alone.

Here’s how your support can make a difference:

- 20,000$: To cover the expenses of leaving Gaza and starting a new life.

- 19,000$: For a year’s worth of housing, living expenses, and other essentials.

- 1,000$: Approx. GoFundMe transaction fees.

This is not just about escaping danger; it’s about giving my children a chance to live, to learn, and to hope. Every contribution, no matter the size, brings us one step closer to a life of safety and dignity. 🙏

Your generosity can be the beacon of light that guides us through this dark time. Please consider donating and sharing our story with others who might want to help. 🌹

From the depths of our hearts, thank you for standing with us. ❤️🍉

gofundme.com

Donate to Help Mohammed's Family From Gaza Rebuild Their Lives, organized by Mohammed Abu Swierh

My name is Mohammad Salem Abu Swierh, a husband and father of… Mohammed Abu Swierh needs your support for Help Mohammed's Family From Gaza R

Note: Unfortunately, my previous account was unexpectedly terminated for reasons that remain unclear to me. Despite this setback, I am determined to continue my journey and my efforts to raise the necessary funds to provide a brighter future for my family.

@90-ghost @sayruq @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @fairuzfakhira @kaapstadgirly @dimonds456-art @plomegranate @commissions4aid-international @communitythings @palestinegenocide @ghost-and-a-half @feluka @toughknit @flower-tea-fairies @vivisection-gf @communistchameleon @troythecatfish @the-bastard-king

Oh my gosh lqg zl is too perfect. Would sy still transmigrate? What would that look like?

yes sy will still be there to be a disaster

but z!lqg is not gonna have any of his bs. this is on the premise that there’s a system (bc without a system, all of sv falls apart) he’ll be skirting the line of driving sy!sqq crazy with ‘does lqg actually know things or am i just crazy?!’ and lqg is ‘god this face and its monosyllabic grunts are perfect. no one knows i noes’

but seriously, he’d try to help with lbh’s single-minded obsessive love (his attachment issues, essentially), but unknowingly get roped in a la the lqg/lbh/sqq ot3 type bs

(”look i’m only here because none of you know how to suck dick to save your mom’s life i- okay sorry, i meant, none of you know how to suck dick. just. okay. stop looking!” “asking shishu, how can we learn if we cannot watch?”)

Z!lqg is waiting for the perfect moment to drop the transmigrator fact. let’s say he’s escorting both sqq and sqh soemwhere and they’re being all secretive and millennially, and at them talking semi-seriously and trying to convince z!lqg to take them somewhere with z!lqg refusing their cheap excuses and grievances bc it’s funny, they just drop a ‘hmm. so sad. alexa, play despacito’ and walks away

(airplane and cucumber go insane trying to figure out which username z!lqg is. finally: “i’m not any username, i’m a reader of your own transmigration novel. so technically, my god-mode tier is higher than either of you”)

(sqh: ”you can’t just say shit like that!” sqq: “you fucking douche, you -” lqg: “cucumber man, i hold the secrets to keeping your chrysanthemum unplucked, i suggest you shut your mouth” sqq: “okay... chrysanthemum-bro” lqg: “okay fuck you, good bye, you can ride airplane express home” sqh: “no, liu-juju, come back pls, don’t leave me with this bitch” sqq: “airplane you fucker, you’re the btich)

the peaks will have no peace. everyone feels like they’re in a mass hallucination at the sight of their friend-amosity.

reading and writing is my only solace in stem furjdiejsidjeo

and also it was an accident. you will absolutely not make me feel bad about an accident

i will not apologize to my sibiling whos done the same thing to me and never apologized you hypocrite

The Untamed as text posts (63/?) the edition in which i’m not implying that jiang cheng is a peasant, but instead implying that he would rather die than participate in wei wuxian’s love affairs

Miss Faelicy I would love to get your opinion on Bingqiu.

I see people posting things like how they are "problematic" and how they don't really love each other and SQQ only feels sympathy etc. Obviously there were struggles between them as there should be (considering all that happened) and just because sqq wasn't very open and super obvious about his feelings doesn't mean they are not there..this is how I interpreted it. I would love to know your opinion

Hello! This also covers part 2 of the previous ask.

First, massive spoilers for the end of the novel. Second, a disclaimer: I despise shipwars, which I think are behind most of those comments. I hate them because it's usually all in bad faith: everyone's already committed to their interpretation of the ships, and any discussion is just a guise for justifying their preferences.

So to any readers: I don't want anything here to be used as shipwar fuel. This post is about Bingqiu's canon arc and themes. Basically, I don't know or care if Bingqiu is a good ship, but I do think it's a well-written one.

I'll start by saying directly: for most of the novel, Bingqiu is neither healthy nor romantic. And that this is not bad writing, but on purpose.

A relationship that drives one party to mental breakdown isn't healthy. A relationship where that party says it's okay to hurt or kill them can't possibly be healthy. That happened because there was something deeply wrong with their relationship, something that can't be reduced to Xin Mo, miscommunication, or LBH throwing a tropey yandere fit.

And out of all three MXTX novels, only SV lacks a love confession from the MC to the ML. Again, I don't think it's an oversight, or just because SQQ's face is too thin. There are plenty of ways MXTX could have worked a subtle one in if she really wanted to.

In my opinion, Bingqiu's narrative can be split up into four arcs: Qing Jing Peak (ch 1-27), Jin Lan City (28-43), Post-revival (29-55), and Reconciliation (56-81). Other than the first arc, where their relationship is pretty straightforward, Bingqiu spend most of the rest in direct conflict.

I'll give an overview of the arcs here, but what I truly want to say about Bingqiu starts in arc 4, so if you're impatient you can scroll down. But the overview might help add context.

Jin Lan City arc is about LBH's anger at being brutally betrayed by the one person he thought he could trust. Here he tries to force answers out of SQQ, who he believes both hates him and is a hypocrite. He's driven by a desire to return to the past, but his rage and love makes his actions contradictory: on one hand he tries to win SQQ's approval constructively, by climbing to the top of Huan Hua Palace and performing good deeds, on the other hand his belief that SQQ doesn't care about him so it's all futile anyway (reinforced by SQQ's own actions) causes him to lash out destructively, going as far as to hurt and imprison SQQ.

LBH's bitterness is portrayed very negatively, because all it does is instill despair into SQQ, until SQQ ends up believing that he's only been a blight on LBH's life, and that he must make up for it by killing himself. Whereupon LBH breaks down, regressing into a childlike state. Some might ask, why does LBH never bring up the Abyss again afterwards? It's because he gives up here. This entire arc is about getting LBH to let go of past wrongs and to stop seeking answers, whether the reader believes it's fair to him or not. Because SQQ's life is more important.

Post-revival arc then is about SQQ trying to come to terms with a blackened LBH who also loves him. Interestingly, despite SQQ's horror at realizing LBH was romantically interested in him all along, SQQ actually has a very subtle but telling secondary reaction. To explain, let's back up to the first arc.

Starting around ch 9, probably as a sign of his growing affection, SQQ begins addressing LBH as 这孩子, or "this child," in his internal monologue, instead of LBH's name. He does it once each in ch 9, 12, 17, 21, 25. However, once Jin Lan City arc starts, SQQ drops the address entirely. LBH and "child" are never brought up together except for one snarky comment on LBH's tantrum being disgracefully childish in ch 38.

At first glance this doesn't look noteworthy because LBH by this point is no longer a kid. But when LBH kisses him in ch 49, SQQ changes again: right away he returns to using "child" on LBH, and the "this child" address starts popping up at a much higher frequency. By the end of SV SQQ has referred to LBH as a child in some manner at least 35 times (yes I went and counted), with the vast majority after ch 49, and he continues to do so right into the last extra.

Why was SQQ unwilling to use this address of affection for over 20 chapters? Perhaps because he too thought LBH hated him, and couldn't bear to think about him so intimately knowing that. So SQQ immediately falling back into it the moment he learns LBH loves him is a sign of his relief. He's still dismayed at the romantic part, but though SQQ likes to deflect from his real emotions (this is the guy who focused on bad naming sense after being fatally poisoned, who cavalierly commented only after it was all over that he'd expected to die), the fact that LBH loves and doesn't hate him, means a lot.

Here SQQ's feelings towards LBH are at their most complicated. He still assumes the worst of him like in Jin Lan City, but now because of the above, also sees a lonely child whenever LBH is unhappy and lost. It's like he has two filters actively interfering with each other, "crazed criminal" and "pitiful child," and so he flip-flops between pushing LBH away and comforting him. But when LBH drags CQMS into it, and even seemingly takes advantage of SQQ's love for him, SQQ's negative image and frustration with him only grows, until he finally snaps and tells LBH to never come near him again.

At this point SQQ still believes that LBH is the same black-hearted, invincible, devil incarnate that og!LBH was portrayed to be. The Reconciliation arc starts by chipping away at this filter that's been plaguing SQQ for so long. First the revelation that TLJ/ZZL was behind the sowers, thus clearing LBH's name at Jin Lan City. Then we see how unloved he is by his own father; we see him injured and helpless and unconscious. Meng Mo yells at SQQ, reinforcing that image of a vulnerable, terrified child. So by ch 62 SQQ has thrown away the "crazed criminal" filter completely, and in that same chapter they cling to each other and finally make up. Because while it's true that the current LBH is misanthropic, antisocial, and mercurial, SQQ has also finally accepted that he's still the same LBH he'd raised and doted on, back on Qing Jing Peak.

Now I'm going to talk about what I see as the most important part of Bingqiu. Yes, despite the wall of text already.

A common sentiment of Bingqiu shippers about their issues seems to be, "SQQ is dumb and oblivious; he can't figure out what LBH needs even though he loves him because he sees LBH as a novel character," but I think the problem is far more complicated and insidious than that. If that was everything, why give SQQ the epiphany that he misunderstood LBH so early? Why have him think in ch 66 that "truthfully, he'd never really trusted Luo Binghe, and that's why he kept accidentally hurting him?" If he's already realized that he shouldn't treat LBH like og!LBH (he even meets og!LBH in ch 71 to rub it in further), why do we go another 13 chapters believing their relationship is good and well, even giving us a sweet, happy moment in ch 75, only to show LBH having the worst breakdown of the novel just 4 chapters later? Was it all just padding to demonstrate the danger of Xin Mo?

Or is there something else beneath the surface?

In ch 66, the same chapter where SQQ implies he doesn't want to accidentally hurt LBH anymore, he says something telling. When LQG is skeptical that LBH can be trusted, SQQ thinks, 家里孩子不懂事，大人不容易做, or "when your child doesn't know any better, as the adult you don't have it easy." The child here of course refers to LBH, and the adult is SQQ, who's complaining about smoothing over LBH's messes. But what is SQQ implying here?

Doesn't know any better? That's what you say about a toddler who can't think for themselves, not a grown man. LBH is 25 and SQQ thinks he doesn't know better. Doesn't know better about what? LBH's wants, his needs? His feelings? Or even what's good for him?

And then you realize that's exactly how SQQ's always treated him, like a helpless child who can't make his own choices.

It's SQQ who chooses to throw LBH down into the Abyss without trying to talk to him. It's SQQ who decides that keeping silent is the best choice. It's SQQ who believes self-destructing in front of LBH will help, who thinks that breaking off their relationship is for the better. And it's SQQ who scolds LBH into tolerating CQMS, even though they hate each other and CQMS is hostile towards him. Who forces him to leave first at Zhao Hua Temple despite LBH's pleas otherwise, who shoos him out the window when CQMS walks in on them.

Every single one of these decisions, SQQ made believing it was for the best (repair LBH's relationship with his family, help him avoid arrest, not wanting to make excuses, wanting LBH to be free of his hatred), and every single one of them only damaged LBH further. Because SQQ's never listened to him, even once. Never consulted him or considered his feelings.

(And LBH did try to bring up his feelings on one of the matters in ch 75. He insinuates to SQQ that he doesn't like LQG calling him "little beast" or "ingrate." And SQQ's response is to dismiss them entirely, saying that LQG's "not wrong.")

SQQ has always loved LBH, but he's never once respected LBH's agency or personhood. Because LBH doesn't know better and SQQ does, so SQQ must make all his decisions for him.

And this, amplified by Xin Mo, is what finally drives LBH mad in ch 79.

To LBH, the important part isn't whether SQQ loves him, which I think he knew after ch 43 (it's why he can be so daring and pushy with SQQ's boundaries). What's important is that the moment SQQ believes abandoning LBH is justified for whatever reason again, SQQ absolutely will.

Ch 80's two-way noncon (since LBH was basically unconscious and couldn't consent) tends to draw most of the attention, but I actually think that what happens afterwards is one of the most important scenes for Bingqiu. There SQQ tries to sacrifice himself a second time for LBH, drawing Xin Mo's demonic qi into his body. Yet the novel claims that SQQ's actions here are completely different than in ch 43. SQQ himself says that this time he's doing it for LBH, while last time he was doing it for himself. But can the reader see a functional difference?

There is one, in fact: it's SQQ's response to LBH's choice afterwards. LBH decides to follow SQQ in death, even though this would void the point of SQQ's sacrifice. But instead of insisting otherwise, SQQ just accepts it. Because he finally understands that whether LBH's life is worth living, whether LBH will be better off, is for LBH and only LBH to decide.

It's the first time he respects LBH's agency. And this is the only reason why he and LBH can finally begin building a healthy relationship on the mess they've had up to now.

So that's what I see as the true beauty behind Bingqiu. It's about communication and mistaken assumptions, yes, but it's also about the nature of love between parent and child. The romantic developments were left to the extras, I believe, because this was the main story MXTX wanted to tell with them. Their relationship as lovers only starts afterwards, hence why SV ends with, "the story between you and I, has only just begun." It was never meant to be a whirlwind romance where they fall in love cleanly. It might not to be to everyone's tastes, but an incredible amount of thought was put into the narrative, and that's what amazed me when I first finished this novel.

(This post went on way too long and I ended up cutting off a huge chunk of tangential stuff and how SQQ came to his realization in ch 79: he didn't do it alone. It took him seeing the LBH in TLJ and the himself in YQY for him to understand. In fact, YQY and og!SQQ's relationship has a similar parent-and-child dynamic. I've touched on it before on twitter; if there's interest I might try writing that up here too.)

look I know this looks like shit but I saw this tiktok and just. had to Jin Sibs it.

Mo Xuanyu loves this shit because he’s a gremlin who thrives off causing chaos. 

Qin Su is in the weird position of being the JGS Bastard Elephant In The Room that the wider Jin family don’t really want to acknowledge, but also don’t want to upset in case she causes any more scandal, so for her, Jin family gatherings are low risk, high entertainment value. 

Jin Zixuan struggles, because he was brought up to respect and care about the opinions of these people… but he also knows they’re awful… but he also hates drama and rocking the boat… but he also hates seeing his siblings treated shittily… mostly he is on Interrupt In A Loud And Timely Manner If People Are Being Assholes To Meng Yao duty

Meng Yao objectively has the worst time because he has basically designated himself the person who runs Interference for the siblings at gatherings, and he also really fucking hates confrontation, so does his best to keep the peace no matter how awful their relatives are to him… up until a point, when he’s exhausted enough not to give a shit anymore, and he retreats to a bathroom with a bottle of wine in each hand and his boyfriends on speed dial, and tells Xuanyu to do his worst. 

more in this AU

Sick sick sick of possibility of being fucking recorded every waking second by tiktok obsessed quasi celebs. Video titled something like "Caught him thinking he's the main character" but it was just a kid wearing headphones, looking out the bus window. Of course it was posted without his knowledge. Stop recording strangers and everything you see, nobody gives a shit and not everyone is happy to be on tiktok or youtube because of a moron with no braincells and an account. What could be a forgettable awkward moment is now permanently there for the victim of lackabrainis infested idiot to get anxious about forever.

Mai Masri - Frontiers of Dreams and Fears (2001)