A Friend Once Told Me That When They Are Struggling With Getting Laundry Done, She Pretends It Is Her

Sure you got your gym membership and you’re getting your body strong and stuff but what are you doing to increase your pain threshold? Gym people often overlook this vital aspect of the human anatomy. I’ve been hitting myself in the back of the head with a wrench 30 times a day for 3-4ish years I can’t even feel it anymore

[rough draft] Sympathy, Empathy, Compassion and Altruism

relatability 

the quality of being easy to understand or feel sympathy for

- from your own perspective

sympathy 

- removed from the experience another person has: 

 - currently not having the “same” experience as another person currently has or never having experienced something similar as the other person

 - always from your own perspective; doesn’t require imagination; ignorant of, or purposely distancing yourself from another person’s perspective

 -> suppressing the other person’s feelings (usually internally pushing their feelings aside) and at times also your own 

 -> can include overlooking subtle signs and only taking surface meanings

 -> act of commiseration - acknowledgment that you can not possibly feel the same way or truly share another’s grief, but that you can understand it (which may or may not be true) / feeling or expressing that you know what the other person is experiencing regardless whether you actually do (as in: no direct knowledge of how the other person actually feels)

 -> a lot of judgment; can lead to giving unasked advice

 -> often without actionable advice or additional input that may diminish the sufferer’s state of mind 

1. (a feeling or expression of) understanding and care, as well as maybe feeling sorry for another person who is suffering or has problems that have caused unhappiness (trouble, grief, misfortune, etc.)

2. (a feeling or expression of) agreement; inclination to think or feel alike: emotional or intellectual accord

3. (a feeling or expression of) support; feeling of loyalty: tendency to favor    

4. an affinity, association, or relationship between persons or things wherein whatever affects one similarly affects the other [includes 2. and 3.]

compassion 

awareness of and caring about another person’s distress together with a desire to alleviate it (/ to help them)  

three to five key elements of compassion:

Recognizing another’s suffering

Understanding that other people suffer

(Having feelings for another’s suffering)

(Dealing with uncomfortable feelings)

Feeling compelled to act or alleviate the suffering

- can be sympathetic or empathetic

empathy

- removed from the experience another person has:

 - currently not having the “same” experience as the other person currently has or never having experienced something similar as the other person

 - always at least partially from another person’s perspective; requires imagination

  -> acknowledging both your own and another person’s emotions

  -> can include being sensitive to all kinds of non-verbal cues

  -> (at least partial) sharing in what another person is experiencing

  -> no judgment; just listening to another person

  -> possibly actionable advice or additional input that may diminish the sufferer’s state of mind

general definition: understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another person of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner

1. cognitive empathy: knowing how another person feels and what they might be thinking; also called perspective-taking

- concerned with: thought, understanding, intellect

- benefits: understanding diverse viewpoints, motivating other people, helps in negotiations

- pitfalls: can be disconnected from or ignore deep emotions; doesn’t put you in another person’s shoes in a felt sense

2. affective / emotional empathy: feeling physically along with another person, as though their emotions were contagious

- concerned with: feelings, physical sensation, mirror neurons in the brain

- benefits: first response with children and for our loved ones, close interpersonal relationships

- can be overwhelming or inappropriate in many circumstances

3. compassionate empathy: taking the “middle ground” between cognitive empathy and emotional empathy, and using emotional intelligence to effectively respond to the situation with loving detachment

-> taking the “middle ground” between cognitive empathy and emotional empathy thanks to the connection between thoughts and feelings:

 - considering both the felt senses and intellectual situation of another person without losing your center

-> balancing mindfulness with compassionate caring

- concerned with: intellect, emotion, action

- benefits: considers the whole person

- pitfalls: ? (maybe that it takes time and energy: both developing the necessary components and balancing act, as well as the actual act of compassionate empathy)

Important: 

Having low empathy doesn’t make anyone a bad person. This might be the case when there’s a severe lack of emotional empathy, which is true for psychopaths. However, they can still act kind, act responsible, etc.. So even that is disputable. Cognitive empathy is helpful in order to better understand someone, but if you can truly listen to them, then it isn’t the end of the world if your cognitive empathy isn’t that much developed though I recommend to work on it. Better understanding always helps.

Both sympathy and empathy are important in their own ways depending on situations. However, in the end it’s compassion that makes the difference.

altruism

unselfish regard for, or devotion to the welfare of others:

- the attitude of caring about others and doing acts that help them although you do not get anything by doing those acts

- willingness to do things that bring advantages to others, even if it results in disadvantage for yourself

How to Stop Procrastinating by Managing Your Emotions

Procrastination happens when we delay doing things, and it's often connected to our emotions. Feelings like being afraid to fail, feeling worried or stressed, getting bored, or lacking motivation can all contribute to procrastination. To stop procrastinating and get more things done, it's important to learn how to handle our emotions better.

Boredom:

Break the task into smaller, more engaging sub-tasks.

Find ways to make the task more interesting or challenging.

Set a timer and work on the task for a specific amount of time, followed by a short break doing something enjoyable.

Feeling Overwhelmed:

Prioritize tasks and focus on one thing at a time.

Break the task into smaller, more manageable steps.

Delegate some parts of the task if possible or seek help from others.

Use tools like to-do lists or task management apps to stay organized.

Anxiety:

Practice deep breathing or mindfulness techniques to calm yourself.

Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with more positive and realistic ones.

Start with the easier or less intimidating aspects of the task to build momentum.

Set realistic expectations and remind yourself that it's okay to make mistakes.

Self-Doubt:

Focus on past accomplishments and successes to boost your confidence.

Seek support or feedback from others to gain reassurance.

Remind yourself of your skills and capabilities to tackle the task.

Use positive affirmations to counteract negative self-talk.

Perfectionism:

Embrace the concept of "good enough" rather than seeking perfection.

Set realistic and achievable goals for each task.

Recognize that mistakes and imperfections are part of the learning process and growth.

Indecisiveness:

Break decisions into smaller steps and make one small decision at a time.

Set a time limit for making decisions to avoid overthinking.

Trust your instincts and make the best decision you can with the information available.

Apathy or Lack of Interest:

Find aspects of the task that align with your values or long-term goals.

Break the task into smaller, more manageable parts and focus on completing one at a time.

Reward yourself for completing the task to make it more appealing.

Stress or Burnout:

Practice stress-reduction techniques such as meditation, exercise, or spending time in nature.

Break tasks into smaller steps to reduce the feeling of overwhelm.

Prioritize self-care and take breaks to avoid burnout.

Feeling Uninspired or Creatively Blocked:

Engage in activities that stimulate creativity, such as brainstorming, mind mapping, or seeking inspiration from others' work.

Start with a simple and basic version of the task to get the creative juices flowing.

Collaborate with others or seek feedback to gain new perspectives.

Fear of Success:

Identify and challenge the negative beliefs or fears that may be holding you back.

Visualize the positive outcomes of completing the task successfully.

Focus on the benefits and personal growth that come with success.

Impatience:

Break long-term goals into smaller milestones to track progress.

Practice mindfulness to stay present and patient throughout the process.

Remind yourself that progress takes time and effort.

Lack of Confidence:

Celebrate your past accomplishments to boost your confidence.

Seek support and encouragement from friends, family, or mentors.

Focus on building specific skills related to the task to increase confidence.

Avoiding Discomfort:

Acknowledge that discomfort is a natural part of growth and improvement.

Break tasks into smaller steps and tackle the more challenging aspects gradually.

Remind yourself of the long-term benefits of facing discomfort.

Overestimating Future Motivation:

Practice discipline and commit to starting tasks even when motivation is low.

Set specific deadlines for tasks to create a sense of urgency.

Establish a routine that includes regular work on the task to build consistency.

It’s interesting how diseases rip through schools at incredible speeds despite being in an arguably modern, clean(ish) environment. I wonder if it has something to do with the whole “you need a doctor’s note to excuse your absence of even one day” combined with the average price of going to a doctor, the lack of education on things like “you’re still contagious even after the fever goes away”, and the overwhelming message of “if you don’t struggle through it, you’re a failure!”

Sorry to break yall's hearts but this is too well written of a post to not include in here.

Hey, you are not an embarrassment for not knowing how to do certain household chores/basic self-care. They do not come naturally to us. A lot of it takes practice! Maybe you had a neglectful guardian. Maybe you had one that was very coddling and never thought to teach you. Maybe you haven't lived in a place where these things were available to you or needed. Doesn't matter. It's okay to not know and far more common than you might realise.

That said, this website provides very simple instructions on how to do everyday tasks such as making your bed, using a washing machine, cooking different foods, washing dishes, taking a shower, etc. All you have to do is use the search bar to find the task you're struggling with, and it'll come up with what you need + other related how-to's:)

If you're having trouble navigating it, let me provide you with some examples:

How to clean dishes by hand

How to make your bed (with visual demonstrations of each step!)

How to fold clothes (with visual demonstrations of each step!)

How to take a shower & dry yourself off (also provides ways to shave beards, armpits, legs and genitals)

How to shave legs, armpits, beards, pubic areas, etc. (a more in-depth guide)

How to mop the floor

How to sweep the floor

How to swallow pills

How to make small talk

How to make eye contact in different situations (or how to avoid it while still looking natural)

It's also perfectly okay if these don't help or aren't appealing to you. Unfortunately, nothing helps everyone.

the story of kfc fucks me up man. the colonel founded this gas station that expanded to restaurant, the chicken at the restaurant gets popular, makes KFC, it gets big and he sells it to a corporation for a lot of money. realizes he got sorta scammed out of the true worth of kfc so tries to get more money and they refuse and the courts side against him. then he starts a new chicken restaurant claiming the corporate people were not making chicken to his standards and kfc sued him because kfc owned the colonel's likeness and the courts agreed. a corporation owned this man's name and appearance. he wasnt allowed to use either, thus legally erasing his reputation making it harder for him to get taken seriously in any food venture. the man, to the day he died, was going into kfc's and throwing fits because the food had fallen into such bad shape he hated it was associated with him. and it's like, whether he's a bad man or a good man or whatever, a corporation owned his identity, stopped him from using his reputation and identity in other businesses, and refused to acknowledge his outrage that they changed his recipes and still attributed it to him. this is literally the obnoxious plot of a jay and silent bob movie, but it was this dude's real life. what the fuck.

PSA TO ANYONE WHO DOESNT EVEN MAKE ART, DISABLE AI DATA COLLECTION ON YOUR BLOG

ART REBLOGGED TO AN ACCOUNT WITH THIS ENABLED WILL ALLOW MIDJOURNEY TO USE THE ORIGINAL POSTERS WORKS WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT

things i learned from my therapist

Asking for help takes courage and is not a sign of weakness.

All emotions are valid, including the uncomfortable ones.

Insightfulness is a useful skill when managing mental health.

When dealing with negative self talk, remember: if it’s something you wouldn’t say about a friend, why say it about yourself?

Reframing negative thoughts. “I’m worthless” —> “I feel worthless because xyz.” “I’m unproductive” —> “I would like to make better use of my time.”

Describing conflicting feelings with and instead of but. “I feel good and I’m having anxious thoughts.” “I have people that love me and I feel lonely.”

The phrase “I am having a scary thought right now, and I am safe.”

Resting and keeping busy are both equally important types of self-care. Same goes for me-time and socializing. Balance is the key.

Coping skills can and should be used even if you aren’t actively in distress.

Having an episode is like having a “brain attack.” It’s unexpected, but treatable.

When worried about worst case scenarios, ask yourself: “Will I be able to live with it?”

Healing takes time, but more importantly it takes willing, conscious effort.

Having a mental illness is like having a full time job. Don’t feel bad for devoting so much time and energy into it.

"The trannies should be able to piss in whatever toilet they want and change their bodies however they want. Why is it my business if some chick has a dick or a guy has a pie? I'm not a trannie or a fag so I don't care, just give 'em the medicine they need."

"This is an LGBT safe space. Of COURSE I fully support individuals who identify as transgender and their right to self-determination! I just think that transitioning is a very serious choice and should be heavily regulated. And there could be a lot of harm in exposing cis children to such topics, so we should be really careful about when it is appropriate to mention trans issues or have too much trans visibility."

One of the above statements is Problematic and the other is slightly annoying. If we disagree on which is which then working together for a better future is going to get really fucking difficult.